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Author	Topic: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara -- sequel teaser up 5/23
Gabri_Jade Title: Fan Fiction Archive Editor Emeritus Registered: Nov '02	Date Posted: 5/14/05 1:27am Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/8 -- The Dance
	Told you I'd be back. Other times, he slumped in the gloom of his offices, hands clutching his head, trying to squeeze away the blinding pain. His staff knew his moods; they stayed well clear. He’s in a killing temper, they whispered between themselves when they thought he couldn’t hear. Blood and lust and fire swirled beneath his eyelids, the ghosts of murdered children driving icy fingers deep into his brain. His body hummed with need, need to hurt to kill to despoil to dominate, anything to ease the agony, to lose his pain in the blood of others. But he stayed where he was, head in his hands. Drowning. Eventually the pain would subside or be sated, and the loathing and the disgust would fade, and he would be able meet his own eyes in the mirror once more and not flinch in revulsion. The pain would be there still – it was always there – but he would be beyond it. He would subvert himself to the mindless dark and it would wash the horrors away as it always had, and always did. Until the next time. That is possibly the most incredible depiction of what it might be like to be a Sith that I've ever read. Absolutely amazing. She looked at him a moment, then said, “I was a Rebel.” She lifted her hands from his shoulders, bringing her wrists together before his face as though bound by invisible manacles. She lowered them to chin-level and added, “Will you kill me – Emperor?” The sardonic light in her eyes was at once a dare and a memory, sharp with the ambrosia of days somehow starker and brighter than the days he knew now. He met her gaze, met the challenge, and said levelly, “You were never a Rebel.” She lowered her chin, her eyes darkening, glinting, never leaving his. Still holding her wrists together, she caught his dishevelled tunic between her fingers, pulling him closer. Tilting her head, she whispered tauntingly, “So sure?” One of my very, very favorite passages in the story so far. I can see every detail, and wow, did you ever get Mara's personality right here. Well, you got her right throughout the entire story, but this moment in particular just sparkles. It's so her. As far as the dance/planning chapter, I feel as though to take any of it out of its context would be to do it an injustice. It flows together beautifully. Luke and Mara's dance, in particular, was almost frighteningly vivid and easy to visualize, and the switches between the two scenarios was handled flawlessly. Overall, your writing maintains the high level of elegant lyricism that I've come to expect, while never sacrificing plot or characterization for the sake of description. The whole story is beautifully balanced and a joy to read. Even if you kill 'em all at the end I can't wait to read it, because I have complete faith that you'll do it marvelously. -----signature----- Evil Twin of LadyPadme This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us! - Futurama All I can do is be me. Whoever that is. - Bob Dylan Serendipity (Leia-Mara vig) - http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/30178069 !!11!1eleventy
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Knight_Aragorn Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 5/15/05 5:24pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/8 -- The Dance - Date Edited: 5/15/05 7:49pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Knight_Aragorn
	Gabri_Jade: You make me blush. I don't know what to say, other than thank you! Okay, I've given up trying to come up with chapter titles. I have no idea how to sum this one up... so here it is. ======= ======= The days passed with trudging slowness to Leia. She bore them with calm dignity; let Vespasian not see her pain. No. She wouldn’t give him the pleasure. Implacable guards with heavy blaster rifles brought her food, not speaking, barely looking at her. To her she was something less than human, not worth compassion, not worth dignity nor mercy nor even regard. Jade had been her only visitor in what felt like months, and Leia had done all she could to purge that meeting from her mind. Vespasian, she had not seen since that hazy day she’d broken and given him the location of the base where he would find his reticent lover. It was as though Leia had ceased to exist once he’d taken what he wanted. Leia was relieved. That changed, three days before the execution date. Leia woke to find the cell in near-darkness, all the lights save one extinguished, and that sole remaining one dimmed very low. To Leia’s eyes, opened after sleep and months of relentless illumination, the gloom seemed of blacker than space. She took fright, sitting up on the hard cot, her heart racing. It took a moment to realise where she was, and another to realise that the lights were dimmed. She took a breath, her heartbeat returning to normal. It was then that she noticed Vespasian. He leaned against the wall opposite her, still and silent and virtually invisible in the shadows. Only his eyes revealed him, gleaming golden amidst the gloom. Leia’s heart silently quickened again as coldness weaved through her stomach, a medley of fear and loathing and disgust. Vespasian felt her gaze, she knew; he stirred in the shadow, the reflected light in his yellow eyes shifting, intensifying. “What you doing?” Leia said. Her voice was raspier than she would have liked, rusty with sleep and disuse. Vespasian stepped forward. As the faint light fell over him, Leia saw that his face was a deathly white, his eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot. His gaze was fixed on her. She suddenly thought of a wolf she’d seen in her childhood, somewhere in the snowy mountains on Alderaan. The wary, shivering intensity of its gaze as it stalked from beneath shadowed trees was eerily similar to that of Vespasian’s amber eyes. Leia drew back as the Sith neared. “What do you want?” she said again. He didn’t answer. Leia didn’t like that. His taunting, sneering words had goaded her, made her angry, but she recognised dimly that they were a shield for him, holding back something she didn’t want to contemplate. Now he wasn’t bothering to toy with her. That didn’t bode well. He stood over her now, his face oddly taut, abstracted. She read the glistening edge in his eyes, and the dread in her stomach coiled itself tighter. His fingers curled in, opened. She stared at him, every muscle tense. When he moved, it was swiftly, his hand darting for her, his knee on the cot. She jerked back, twisting, hands flung defensively. There was a brief scuffle, then he was over her, his fingers biting into her arms, and her back was pressed against the wall. His chest heaving, he stared at her, his eyes a seething medley of hunger and hate and anguish and loathing, such dripping, tormented loathing… He leaned in. She felt the heat from his body as he pressed close, strange and blazing, as though he were feverish, as though he were burning alive even as he loomed over her. “Princess,” he whispered, his breath brushing her cheek. “Princess…” And to her astonishment, it sounded like a plea. Like he was begging her. But – for what? Leia’s eyes met his. A sense of coldness washed through her, a reflected glimmer of welling blood and screaming voices and thick blackness, of misery and loathing deep beyond measure, beyond thought or understanding or compare. Its intensity took her breath away; its acuteness brought tears to her eyes. She stared at Vespasian. He stared at her. The door hissed open. Vespasian slowly turned his head, looking over his shoulder. Leia’s eyes flicked past him. Jade stood in the doorway, her eyes wide but unreadable, darker than Leia had seen them. She wore a robe of something pale and drifting, trailing around loose white pants. Her hair was unbound, tumbling over her shoulders in disarray. Her face was utterly still. There was a silence. Vespasian turned his eyes back to Leia. Gazing at her, but not seeing her, he said, “Get out.” Jade stepped forward. Vespasian was on her almost instantly, twisting from the cot to catch her by the upper arms, forcing her back against the wall. Leia could only see the back of his head. He stood very close to Jade, pressing her to the wall with his hands, his body. “Get – out,” he repeated, his voice low, almost a growl, the words sounding choked on. Jade lifted her hands, closing them on either side of Vespasian’s head, her fingers tightening on his dark-blonde hair to bend his head to hers. She began to whisper. Leia couldn’t hear the words, but the tone was intense. It went on for a long time; towards the end, the tone shifted downwards, becoming soothing. She finished. The two stood unmoving: Vespasian rigid, taut, resisting; Jade gazing at him with flat but somehow deep green eyes. Then Vespasian’s tautness dropped, vanishing with an abruptness that was startling. He leaned against Jade, bowing his head to her shoulder. The woman put her arms around him. Leia closed her eyes, feeling irrationally like some kind of voyeur, seeing something naked before her that was never meant to be seen. She could taste bitterness in her mouth, the acrid aftertaste of fear. She heard Jade speak again, too low to make out, and opened her eyes. She watched Vespasian turn from Jade, his gloved fingers closed tightly around her hand. He cast single strange – almost hunted – glance at Leia before striding quickly from the room, Jade behind him. The red-haired woman’s parting glance held far too much; Leia was immensely glad when the door slid shut on them both. She drew her knees to her chest and stared unseeingly into the gloom. Outside, Luke, heedless of the guards, spun Mara against the wall and kissed her. His lips moved on hers without gentleness; he pushed her into the hard wall. She responded as he knew she would – deceptively open at first, arms and body coiling with him, and then, having drawn him in, with a retaliating fire that he welcomed. When he pulled back, they were both breathing hard; he touched gloved fingers to his throbbing bottom lip and came away with blood. His eyes lifted to hers, steady on his. He brushed a thumb across her lip, wiping away the trace of blood there. Leaning close, he breathed, his voice soft, “Vixen.” The sardonic light flared in her eyes, answering, resisting, alluring. He took her hand and turned down the hall, past the suspiciously rigid guards. “As you were,” he said, his voice low. He was rewarded with a flicker of aborted stiffening as he passed. He walked on, Mara at his side. Her fingers were tight around his, painfully so, clinging as though for dear life or perhaps in outrage or anger – though he did not think so. The pressure held the trembling at bay. He was grateful. Three more days, and thrice-damned Leia Organa would be dead. With all his being, he hoped the excruciating despair that tormented him would perish with her. If only she’d died with the rest of her insufferably noble brethren on Alderaan – he could have been spared this nameless, cloying agony. Three days, he thought with grim anticipation. Only three days. Then it’s over. ======= ======= And on that rather ominous note.... the next post will be the final one for this story.
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cka3ka Registered: Apr '03	Date Posted: 5/15/05 5:33pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/15 -- Second-last post!
	Ominous is an understatement... Wow, what an intense post... three more days until Leia's dead huh? Is that a promise that we get a post within 3 days . CK -----signature----- -- Follow the plot bunnies! Hi Ho! Hi Ho! After the bunnies we go! H/L - Faith: http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/19684279/ V/L - Dark: http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=19284090
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Mirax_Corran Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 5/15/05 5:45pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/15 -- Second-last post!
	Wow, that was a great postie! I can't wait for the next one. I don't want it to end! It's soooooooo good? How about a sequel? Can't wait for the last post, ~Myra -----signature----- "Pretty. What do we blow up first?" * * * * The Wise Words of Myn Donos * * * * Fics in my profile
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Jedi_BMK Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 5/15/05 5:49pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/15 -- Second-last post!
	Intensely creepy, but very well done. Now, I'm left wondering just what the final post has in store for us. I will do my best to wait patiently, but a post soon would be greatly appreciated nonetheless. -----signature----- Destiny of the Skywalkers II: Splintered Paths OT AU (L/M H/L A/P) http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28042042/
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Gabri_Jade Title: Fan Fiction Archive Editor Emeritus Registered: Nov '02	Date Posted: 5/15/05 7:03pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/15 -- Second-last post!
	You end it with that? My cliffhanger armor has cracked, maybe permanently. I may not survive until the next post. Real feedback once I've absorbed the post - assuming I survive that long, of course. -----signature----- Evil Twin of LadyPadme This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us! - Futurama All I can do is be me. Whoever that is. - Bob Dylan Serendipity (Leia-Mara vig) - http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/30178069 !!11!1eleventy
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DarthIshtar Title: Former CR Registered: Mar '01	Date Posted: 5/15/05 7:22pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/15 -- Second-last post!
	Oh, wow, that had my gut twisting... -----signature----- "I feel like a more down-to-earth Pink 5 when I'm writing Leah. Same attitude, less lip gloss." ~Me on how to get in the right mindset for Twilight fanfic.
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lurker2209 Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 5/15/05 7:31pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/15 -- Second-last post!
	This fascinates me. you manage to say so little and make it so emotionally deep. I mean, at this point, I'm not really sure what Luke was doing in Leia's cell, if he knows she's his sister, and what exactly Mara managed to do, but there's an intensity to all of this that is really effective in telling the story. I can't wait for the end. and I'm so glad there's a sequal. I suppose that means that not everyone dies... ~Lurker -----signature----- "When I face the desolate impossibility of writing five hundred pages a sick sense of failure falls on me and I know I can never do it. This happens every time. Then gradually I write one page and then another." ~ John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley
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JadeLotus Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 5/15/05 7:34pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/15 -- Second-last post!
	Just when I thought things couldn't get any darker... A sense of coldness washed through her, a reflected glimmer of welling blood and screaming voices and thick blackness, of misery and loathing deep beyond measure, beyond thought or understanding or compare. Its intensity took her breath away; its acuteness brought tears to her eyes. She stared at Vespasian. He stared at her. Yeah...wow. The tension and angst of this chapter was amazing. I even feel sorry for Luke - he's so tormented. I suppose that on some subconscious level - he knows about Leia? Can't wait to see how this fic is going to end - but you are writing that companion fic from Mara's pov, right? Right? Just one confusing point for me...Leia thinks it is two days till her execution, Luke thinks it's three? Or am I just being nitpicky? In either case, I'm waiting anxiously for the conclusion. -----signature----- You are the only thing that makes sense Just ignore all this present tense
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Knight_Aragorn Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 5/15/05 7:51pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/15 -- Second-last post!
	No, that's just what happens when you add an extra section as an afterthought and forget to check the facts are in line. Thanks for pointing that out, JadeLotus, I've fixed it now.
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Jedi-2B Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 5/15/05 8:07pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/15 -- Second-last post!
	You manage to pack so much intensity into a single scene. I'm going back and forth about what Mara whispered to Luke. And only one more post? I'm wondering, too, about the two days/three days inconsistency. -----signature----- It was on her fifteenth day in the darkness of the Nirauan cave when Mara Jade awoke to discover a rescuer had finally arrived. It was not, however, any of the potential rescuers she would have expected. It was Luke. ~~And the rest is history~~
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Stargazer-19 Registered: Dec '04	Date Posted: 5/15/05 8:20pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/15 -- Second-last post!
	Wow! That was extremely creepy. The last chapter is going to be very interesting. But I wanted to ask, what does Vespasian mean or symbolize...if it's painfully obvious forgive me, My head cold is making me more dense then usual. Great Post. Can't wait to read the next one. -----signature----- Magneto: “You wanted us to protect the library. What kind of villain attacks a library? Xavier: You always did stupid things when you were a villain. M: Did I ever attack a library? X: Well, no. M: Exactly. No self respecting villain attacks a library.
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RebelPrincess Registered: Jan '01	Date Posted: 5/15/05 8:33pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/15 -- Second-last post!
	Please forgive me, I'm sick right now and can't really form a coherent sentence (although I guess I just did) I will say more when feeling better. -----signature----- ROTS: Best. Movie. Ever.
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Jedi_Anais Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 5/15/05 8:47pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/15 -- Second-last post!
	Wow. That was...intense. You're going to finish already? Can we at least get a sequel? Assuming someone lives, of course. No white picket fences? Does that mean there's going to be a reconciliation? -----signature----- The rainbows of life follow the storms. "Knowledge is gained by learning, trust by doubt, skill by practice, and love by love." - Thomas Szasz
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LadyPadme Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Sep '02	Date Posted: 5/15/05 9:00pm Subject: RE: Your Eyes Aren't Blue Anymore -- Dark Luke, Mara, major angst. UPDATED 5/15 -- Second-last post!
	Gaaahhhh! That's where you ended the post??? I'm so sorry I'd fallen behind on reading, although it was great fun to catch up. You have such an impressive and articulate command of language, and your descriptions are beautifully evocative of scenes and senses. I'm quite in awe of how well you manage to make me believe this dark being is Luke Skywalker, and make me sympathize with him in his pain and despair. But what did Jade say to him??? And why does he want Leia to die so much??? AAARRRGGGHHH!!! Great job! -----signature----- Evil Twin of Gabri_Jade When a baby smiles the world is happy
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