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Topic:
Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
Gabri_Jade
Title:
Fan Fiction Archive Editor Emeritus
Registered:
Nov '02
Date Posted:
7/1/05 11:08am
Subject:
Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
Title: Perversity of Life
Author: Gabri_Jade
Timeframe: NJO-era, after Balance Point
Characters: Mara Jade Skywalker, Kyp Durron
Genre: vignette, AU, angst
Summary: When all is lost, what remains?
A/N: Yes, Kyp/Mara. For numerous reasons, I blame oba.
It's probably not what you expect, though.
Thanks to obaona for naming it for me.
Here's the dark fic you wanted, dearest.
~*~*~*~*~
She hadn't realized that the darkness would be so comforting. Deep and soft, it was almost a tangible thing that soothed the bleeding gashes in her psyche better than - well, not better than anything could. But since what she wanted most was irrevocably gone, the darkness was the next best thing.
And then there were his arms around her, as comforting almost as the dark, and that surprised her most of all. It shouldn't be that way. He was a dubious ally at best; at times he'd been little short of an outright enemy. But here, now, she rested her head on his shoulder and welcomed his anchoring warmth. He shifted slightly, and she shifted with him, wondering at the perversity of life.
"When do you think they'll come?"
His voice shattered the enveloping silence. Mara thought about ignoring him and retreating back into herself, but decided it probably wouldn't work. "Soon."
Quiet.
"It's not going to be pleasant."
Mara sighed. "No."
"We could still - "
"No," Mara said firmly, shifting again and feeling the coarse material they were sitting on shift right back at her. She would never understand these Vong and their obsession against anything not living. Bad enough that she was sitting on something that had all the softness of burlap; knowing it was alive just made it plain creepy.
"There might be a way," he said testily. "If we actually talked about it instead of ignoring it, we could still find a way out of this."
Mara lifted a tired hand to sweep her frizzy hair behind her ear. "Kyp, how many times do we have to go through this?"
"Why do you seem so determined to do nothing?" Kyp retorted.
"What would you have us do?" Mara closed her eyes, breathing the moist, cloying air. "How hard is it to take the Vong out even when we have lightsabers? Even when we're at full strength? Yet you want us to try it unarmed and half-healed."
"Any attempt is better than none," he said, and she felt his frustration.
Mara shifted again, nestling close, clinging to the security of his nearness. "Not always."
She heard the soft motion as he turned his head, trying to regard her through the dense darkness. "You've changed. You were always a fighter; you never wanted to give up. I respected that."
Mara let her eyes drift shut. She thought that she opened them again, but she wasn't sure. "Things change. People change."
The quiet lasted longer this time.
"This isn't what Luke would have wanted," Kyp finally said softly. So certain.
A faint drip of condensation sounded from a corner of their holding area, so perfectly coordinated with the moisture suddenly creeping down Mara's cheeks that for a moment she thought the barely audible
plop
had been caused by her own tears. "No," Mara agreed, surprised at the steadiness of her voice. "But I don't have his strength."
Leaning against Kyp's chest, Mara's body moved with his as he sighed. "Few do," he murmured.
Why didn't you tell him that when he was still with us?
But she was bone-weary, soul-weary, and could not summon the bitterness she would once have felt. The sob took her by surprise, sounding like a cross between a hiccup and the beginning of a wail, and she clamped her hands hard over her mouth, muffling both the sound and the pain.
Luke -
Kyp gathered her closer in his arms, curling around her. "I know," he said, and she knew it was the truth. Despite the rebelliousness that had so worried her husband, Mara knew that Kyp had loved him as well, and the sudden rush of sympathy she felt from Kyp nearly overwhelmed her swiftly-faltering defenses. Brutally smothering the keening that threatened, Mara took a deep, shuddering, gasping breath, then another. Then another. Over and over again, not caring that she sounded like an asthmatic tauntaun. Kyp stroked her hair silently, waiting for her to regain control. She rested her forehead against his cheek, feeling the prickly stubble, then raised her lips to his ear.
"I still have my vibroblade."
He tensed beside her. "How?"
"I have my ways."
She could sense the mental calculations taking place behind his usual shields. "One vibroblade won't accomplish much against the guards -"
"It won't accomplish anything against them," she corrected. "But it can accomplish something else."
Sudden, piercing concentration, all focused on her. "Mara -"
"I won't let them torture me," she hissed, suddenly fierce. "I won't let them do to me what they did to Luke, or to Ben -" She choked again, the agony ripping through her all over again, the intensity even worse than it had been at the beginning. Who had she once heard say that time eased pain? It was a lie.
His fingers were gentle on her cheeks, brushing away the tears.
"Don't you see?" she asked, placing a hand on his chest and leaning close. "They've taken everything from me. I'm taking this from them. Their grand sacrifice - Jedi Master Mara Jade Skywalker, wife of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker."
Am I still a wife, without him? Still a mother, without a child?
"I can't bring Luke and Ben and all the others back, Kyp. I can't win the war. I can't even kill one guard before they take me down. But I can rob them of my own life."
The answering stillness was utter, complete. They might both have stopped breathing, for all Mara could tell.
"You've thought this out," Kyp murmured.
"I will do this, Kyp. You know I will."
"Yes." A deep breath. "And Luke is going to kill me all over again for letting you." Mara opened her mouth, but was stopped by his hand against her lips. "Me first."
Mara paused. She hadn't foreseen this. She almost asked - no, she knew why. She had much more experience with a vibroblade.
"I know there have been times when you wanted to, anyway," Kyp added with dark humor.
The reflexive laugh strangled, unborn, in her throat. "I -"
"Mara."
She stopped, not knowing what to say, what she
could
say.
"You're right," he said, with the sort of serenity that Luke had always said he would one day possess. "It's our last chance to strike back. If we're going to go no matter what, then let's make it count."
Mara licked her dry lips, took a not-quite-calming breath. She drew the vibroblade, thumbed it on without thinking. She looked up to where she knew his face had to be in the darkness -
- he leaned forward before she could strike, kissing her forehead. "Thank you," he whispered, and something inside Mara snapped. Old instincts kicked in; the knife whipped forward, her hand guiding it directly to his heart without conscious thought. He slumped over slowly, brokenly, and one part of her mind approved of the clean strike even as another part was sickened. Strange, so strange, how killing could be so routine. So ordinary, so familiar.
She felt for his pulse automatically, the old detachment settling over her like a shroud. The stillness beneath her fingers confirmed what her Force-sensitivity already had. He was dead, and she was alone.
The edge of her mind detected the voids within the Force drawing nearer even as she heard the muffled speech outside the door, farther down the hall. She'd been right; they had come soon.
She calmly raised the blade, ignoring both the metallic tang to the air and the slickness of her own hands.
Not soon enough.
-----signature-----
Evil Twin of LadyPadme
This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us! - Futurama
All I can do is be me. Whoever that is. - Bob Dylan
Serendipity (Leia-Mara vig) -
http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/30178069
!!11!1eleventy
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EmilieDarklighter
Registered:
Jan '02
Date Posted:
7/1/05 11:15am
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
GABI! You evil, evil woman!
Here, I see Gabi's written a new piece, and then it turns out to be...*sobs!*
Sigh. I'd be extremely irritated if you hadn't done it so well. *huggles* Wonderful, perfect characterization, dearest. Though I demand some sort of fluffiness in the near future because dwelling on this for long may well kill me.
-----signature-----
Master of Jedi_Emeritus
Former Padawan of Gabri_Jade
Little sister to Gabri_Jade and LadyPadme
25 Rules for Successful Writing
http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/28400222/p1/?2
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Killik_Twilight
Registered:
Apr '05
Date Posted:
7/1/05 11:53am
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
Well, well, Miss Gabri_Jade, I do say so that you had me worried there for a moment . . . I thought that you were going to let Kyp kiss Mara and not suffer for it . . . but that's not the case.
Excellent, but saddening, job.
KT
-----signature-----
"Those who have long enjoyed such privileges as we enjoy forget in time that
men have died to win them."
Franklin D. Roosevelt
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Lola64
Registered:
Mar '05
Date Posted:
7/1/05 11:54am
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
What a beautiful piece!
I hate sneaking peaks here at work. Everytime I do it's something that brings tears to my eyes and my big gasp gets me noticed.
I saw the title and said Mara/Kyp? This ought to be interesting. I hadn't realized what it would be like.
The only word I can use to describe this is POWERFUL. The whole scenario and how Mara was going to refuse them the pleasure. And then Kyp choosing to go first?
HEARTBREAKING.
Little Ben? What did they do to him? I don't want to know. Don't tell me.
Am I still a wife, without him? Still a mother, without a child?
I have to go and find a humor story to pick myself up.
But awesome job on this.
-----signature-----
Kyp/Nurse Lola: the new ship
I stalk people. It's a Lola thing.
Been gone and is now back. Did you miss me?
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Smuggler_Shidakis
Registered:
Jul '04
Date Posted:
7/1/05 12:05pm
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
...
Wow
. Dark. Really, really dark. I clicked on it thinking, Hey, Kyp/Mara, this ought to be amusing. . . and find Kyp and Mara committing suicide.
An amazing piece. Very creepy, very morbid, but excellent all the same.
-----signature-----
K/J =
Dark Lady of the JCC | Master to Darth-Wanderguard
Adopter of Rosh_Penin
Désolée, mon président est un idiot. Je n'ai pas voté pour lui.
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Marawannabe
Registered:
Dec '01
Date Posted:
7/1/05 12:56pm
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
Woohoo! That was awesome! *grins* I love bittersweet pieces, and this one certainly takes the cake. *applauds* Lovely job Gabri!
-----signature-----
Everyone loves an Irish Girl!
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VaderLVR64
Title:
Manager Emeritus
Registered:
Feb '04
Date Posted:
7/1/05 1:10pm
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
I started to read this when I was doing the indexing and then I had to (grumble, grumble) get it done. So I had work to do and then I got distracted. SO glad I made sure to come back because I would have hated to miss this! Lovely!
Although, I agree, some fluffiness in the future is a must!
-----signature-----
R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian
Never forgotten
Soldiers' Angels
http://soldiersangels.org/
2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
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YodaKenobi
Title:
TFN EU Staff
Registered:
May '03
Date Posted:
7/1/05 1:42pm
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
-
Date Edited:
7/1/05 1:42pm
(1 edits total)
Edited By:
YodaKenobi
Bad enough that she was sitting on something that had all the softness of burlap; knowing it was alive just made it plain creepy.
Agreed. That would be so weird
Brutally smothering the keening that threatened, Mara took a deep, shuddering, gasping breath, then another. Then another. Over and over again, not caring that she sounded like an asthmatic tauntaun.
Great description, and the analogy was a little funny
"I won't let them torture me," she hissed, suddenly fierce. "I won't let them do to me what they did to Luke, or to Ben -"
"I know there have been times when you wanted to, anyway," Kyp added with dark humor.
Heh.
"It's our last chance to strike back. If we're going to go no matter what, then let's make it count."
Much better
That's the Mara I know!
That was certainly shocking, Gabri
Very dark and beautifully written. Loved the concept of Mara and Kyp locked up together, prisoners of the Yuuzhan Vong and weighing whether it is worth it to even try to escape. The descriptions throughout were fantastic, as was the story. I never thought a viggie that isn't more than a couple pages long could have so many twists
I was shocked when Mara suggested suicide, relieved when she seemed to relent, then shocked again when she killed Kyp
Anyway, great post, Gabri
-----signature-----
Supersonic gone and took my soul
The Lands of the Dead:
http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28522077/p1
Blood Trail:
http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28636429/p1
"They weren't very bright, even for Imperials."— Emala
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Daughterofflame
Registered:
Sep '03
Date Posted:
7/1/05 1:49pm
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
Wow.
I clicked on the title mostly to see how one would write a K/M (*still blinkin*) and this is what I find.
Excellently done. There's not much more I can say, truly.
~*~Austyn
-----signature-----
Master to BigFatty!:D
Acts 5:41
http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=18095891
My Light, My Darkness
http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=18473316
After Forever Pt 2
I'm going to say, "Merry Christmas!", thank you very much.
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Leia
Registered:
Aug '98
Date Posted:
7/1/05 2:26pm
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
Well, Miss
Gabri
, you sure can bring the angst.
wondering at the perversity of life.
No kidding. Life is crazy. Also, I'm reminded of Poe, which is rather fitting for this piece, wouldn't you agree?
If you threw in a little pathetic fallacy, made it a tad gothic...
Brutally smothering the keening that threatened, Mara took a deep, shuddering, gasping breath, then another. Then another. Over and over again, not caring that she sounded like an asthmatic tauntaun.
This was amazing because it was so
clear
. I know
exactly
what she sounded (and felt) like.
"I won't let them do to me what they did to Luke, or to Ben -"
Luke, ok. But Ben? I can't deal with little kid deaths.
Am I still a wife, without him? Still a mother, without a child?
Excellent, excellent, excellent.
Incredibly
poignant.
It really hurt, but this fic was gorgeous,
Gabri_Jade
. You can write as much angst as you want, if it's all like this. *dodges thrown objects from other readers*
-----signature-----
Those who don't believe in magic will never find it. (Roald Dahl)
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obaona
Registered:
Jun '02
Date Posted:
7/1/05 2:34pm
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
Leia
posted:
You can write as much angst as you want, if it's all like this.
I
knew
it would be.
Beautiful, dearest. Just getting my place in line, however - more thorough feedback later.
*protects Gabri from hordes of
readers*
-----signature-----
MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind.
- teh atty
my recent Atton (KOTOR2) fic:
http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/30335989
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Thrawn McEwok
Title:
TFN EU Staff
Registered:
May '00
Date Posted:
7/1/05 2:35pm
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
Gabri
: *wow*
Are all your 'fics this good?
Things I liked, in no particular order.
Kyp, doing automatic, comforting things.
The sense of how similar the two of them are - often remarked on, but rarely illustrated so directly, or so subtly (her POV on Kyp's shields and calculation)...
*winces* at some of the other stuff...
*still believes there are other alternatives*
But I guess that it's about character and POV. I'm not sure if they're defiantly victorious, or utterly defeated...
What can I say? I'm more than impressed. Kudos.
- The Imperial Ewok
-----signature-----
A/T = OTP
:===8[#]8===:
Kyp/Jaina fans: stand up and be counted!
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LadyPadme
Title:
Manager Emeritus
Registered:
Sep '02
Date Posted:
7/1/05 2:39pm
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
And the mighty Gabri_Jade wields her pen (or should I say keyboard?
) again and brings out another tres cool viggie
Twisted, heartbreaking, angsty, and...
fun!
Only you could do this so well
And, oba, why on Earth would you need to protect Gabri? She's MARA JADE, remember???
-----signature-----
Evil Twin of Gabri_Jade
When a baby smiles the world is happy
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RedGold
Registered:
Nov '04
Date Posted:
7/1/05 2:47pm
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
WOW!
Freaking awesome!
Love it!
Love it!
What can I say... I'm strange.
-----signature-----
Legend...
Recluse...
Forgotten...
Will one day return...
http://www.starwarsfanfic.com
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LukesTheMan
Registered:
Apr '04
Date Posted:
7/1/05 2:54pm
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
That was incredibly well done!
But now I need something light and sweet!
-----signature-----
Of Metal and Flesh
http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/19859245
Empty Vessel
http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/19744934
Proud Master to Annika_Skywalker
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Healer_Leona
Title:
Manager Emeritus
Registered:
Jul '00
Date Posted:
7/1/05 3:12pm
Subject:
RE: Perversity of Life (AU NJO-era vignette, Kyp/Mara)
Whoa!! That was just powerful and chest constricting.
-----signature-----
Break away from everybody
Break away from everthing
If you can't stand the way this place is
Take yourself to higher places
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