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Author	Topic: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 9/13, Chapter 28
StarFighter5 Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 1/6/06 4:44pm Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/5 Chapter 5
	Your depiction of Mara's death is very accurate and painful. It is possible to put a traumatic event out of your mind, but then it pops back into your mind, like it did with "Talon was dead" in this fic. -----signature----- "I hope I slept with you to get the job. if not, then who the hell was that guy?" - Carrie Fisher "Now that I'm a pez and a lego, I shall want for nothing else." -Jeremy Bulloch "Thank you for going to the movies. Especially mine." - George Lucas
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SWLOVER Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 1/6/06 7:33pm Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/5 Chapter 5
	I'm worried about how Mara is going to react when Luke catches up with her. I have a great fear that Luke is going to misstep and more angst is going to occur. Although, more angst isn't neccesarily bad... Please, please, please add me to your PM list. I don't want to miss a second. -----signature----- Luke addict since '83. If you can make it through the NJO, you can make it through anything. "That's the trouble with you ruthless types - you're all so predictable." Luke Skywalker, TSW
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AliKatKelts Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 1/6/06 10:26pm Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/5 Chapter 5
	Ohlord, what have you done. Mara's slipping to the dark side and she doesn't even realize it. And Luke's having erotic dreams about Mara smirk I can't wait for more! (hopefuly work allowes me to read) -----signature----- And in which it is demostrated that while some may fall, others are pushed. If it smells bad on the outside, it's worse on the inside Floating on the River Denial - Richie, Anakin and Sirius Live http://home.att.net/~alikatkelts/PocketFullofMumbles.html
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Jade_eyes Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 1/7/06 4:00am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/5 Chapter 5
	That dream was intense. Seemed almost like a prelude to Mara confessing about her past. And Mara's on a vendetta now--justice is one thing, but vengeance always eats at the one who holds to it like a cancer. It poisons everything. But this isn't something that can be purged and resolved like in TLC. And she's not likely to listen to reason, either. Oh, my--how can she heal from this and get closure? And the refrain "Talon is dead" is totally reflective of someone in shock who can't seem to break out of a repetitive thought. Great emotional touch there. -----signature----- Luke/Mara, most melty, moving of soulmates Stoked to beta their stuff Mush's so nummily nice, I give one of these twice! Squee! Squggles!
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Jetta Registered: May '01	Date Posted: 1/8/06 11:39am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/5 Chapter 5
	Karrde is actually dead? Yikes! Angst-filled chapter! Between Luke's dream, Mara's newfound vendetta and Ghent's reaction to the whole thing - I'm at a loss as to what to say. Hope this speaks for itself. Great chapter! -----signature----- MTFBWY Wherever you go, that's where you are.
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Jedi Trace Title: • SouthEast RSA • Fan Fiction Manager Registered: Dec '99	Date Posted: 1/8/06 7:51pm Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/5 Chapter 5
	Loved the dream! (Shocking, I know. ) The repeated refrain: and Talon was dead was brilliant. And bless Ghent - he's so awkwardly adorable! More soon please! -----signature----- “Umo ji muna, Cade mojo. ” ~ Jan Duursema Light, dark - They are just directions. Do not be fooled that you stand on anything other than your own two feet. ~ Shaak Ti, TFU
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Ariapaige Registered: Feb '02	Date Posted: 1/10/06 9:16pm Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/5 Chapter 5
	wow... i miss a couple'a posts and all of a sudden Talon's dead and Mara's taking over the company and Luke's having dreams about burning the love of his life. dude. glad i caught up now. your muse is kinda evil. tell him/her that for me, will ya? he/she does good work, but definitely is evil. i'm scared for what this means for Luke and Mara. can't wait to find out though. thanks for PMing me, even though i've been terrible with the comments. keep up the good work. paige -----signature----- sometime lurker
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Knight_Aragorn Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 1/11/06 4:09am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/5 Chapter 5
	I've been following this story for a few posts now but haven't had the chance to reply, but it's a very interesting setup, JadeLotus. It's hard to imagine Mara in such an awful situation, but you've handled her emotions very well. Luke feels just right also in the way that he wants to help without really understanding what that means... And I liked Karrde and Mara's relationship here, the way he was so protective of her. Losing him so suddenly can't be good for her at all. Very interesting and thoughtful work. Can't wait to see where you're going with it. -----signature----- Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. Pieces of Air (ESB short story, complete) - http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27283200/p1
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JadeLotus Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 1/11/06 4:20pm Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/5 Chapter 5
	Thank you to everyone for all the lovely replies and support ginchy - Thank you I'm very scared for our gal. I don't know if she can handle this at all. She's so very strong, but there is a limit to what anyone can take. There is - at the best of times Karrde's death would have shattered her, but with the past addiction looming...it's going to take all of her strength to get through it. And...I don't know if Luke is going to make it better, or worse. His dream...wow. I just hope he can help her, but I'm afraid she'll seriously blow him off. That's often the problem with Luke, he's so quick to rush in and "help" he doesn't think about the effects of it or whether sometimes people just need to be left alone academygrad88 - Thanks! And Luke is dreaming of Mara. LOL. Hmmm... I wonder what happened instead in his other dreams? I have an inkling that at least some of those dreams weren't exactly PG-rated MirandaFair - To open with Luke's dream, caught me by surprise and just when I was getting all comphy...you drop the floor out from under me. Hehe. I love misdirection. I found this whole passage deeply powerful. As the info is sinking in my head, it's doing the same thing to Mara. You have such a knack and gift to always bring me into your world. Thank you so much - that was really what I was going for and i'm glad it worked! Of course he does! He's Luke Skywalker. I wonder how Mara will react Or will she be gone with the rest of the crew by then? Thanks so much for the feedback! Golden_Jedi - Thank you jedi7 - Thanks! Dunc T'racen - Ghent and Luke's dream was over the top. (Can nothing be subtle with him?) Yeah - subtlety is hard, especially when it comes to Luke. but I really liked the 'and Talon was dead' bit. Thank you jade51999 - Excellent Job. I can't believe that Talon is dead! Alas. Thank you. Great to have you reading! Could I get on the PM list please? No worries. RedGold - Ut oh... Mara is having thoughts of the homicidal nature... and if she can't do nothing about them... yikes! It's almost like the Last Command all over again, only this time the voice and orders are coming from Mara herself... AvenKiel - Wow! I could feel the heat rolling off of Mara through my computer screen!! Thank you - i'm glad it seems real. I'm always worried about getting grief/anger/hate right. Let's hope Luke can cool her down before she does anything rash! Maybe with some kisses? Maybe... StarFighter5 - Your depiction of Mara's death is very accurate and painful. Thank you It is possible to put a traumatic event out of your mind, but then it pops back into your mind, like it did with "Talon was dead" in this fic. In my experience, the more you try not to think about it, the more it will haunt you. Thanks for the reply! SWLOVER - Thank you I'm worried about how Mara is going to react when Luke catches up with her. I have a great fear that Luke is going to misstep and more angst is going to occur. Although, more angst isn't neccesarily bad... Embrace the angst! The thing with Luke is that at this point in his life, I don't think he understands Mara enough to be able to help her properly with her grief. He's known a hell of a lot of grief in his life but has reacted to it differently. Please, please, please add me to your PM list. Sure thing AliKatKelts - Ohlord, what have you done. Mara's slipping to the dark side and she doesn't even realize it. It really is dangerous ground for her, she's slipping into old habits and old justifications. And Luke's having erotic dreams about Mara smirk* I can't wait for more!* He can deny it all he likes, we know what those dreams mean Great to have you reading! Jade_eyes - That dream was intense. Seemed almost like a prelude to Mara confessing about her past. I won't deny that there was perhaps a bit of foreshadowing in that section And Mara's on a vendetta now--justice is one thing, but vengeance always eats at the one who holds to it like a cancer. It poisons everything. But this isn't something that can be purged and resolved like in TLC. You always know how to condense and explain the situation brilliantly Talon's death is so much worse than the Emperor's in many ways. And may be far more damaging to Mara. And the refrain "Talon is dead" is totally reflective of someone in shock who can't seem to break out of a repetitive thought. Thank you - i'm glad people seemed to like that technique. Jetta - Karrde is actually dead? Fraid so... Angst-filled chapter! Between Luke's dream, Mara's newfound vendetta and Ghent's reaction to the whole thing - I'm at a loss as to what to say. Hope this speaks for itself. It does. Thank you Jedi Trace - Loved the dream! (Shocking, I know). The repeated refrain: and Talon was dead was brilliant. And bless Ghent - he's so awkwardly adorable! Thank you. I've never written Ghent before but i've always seen him as the cute younger brother type Thanks heaps for the reply! Ariapaige - wow... i miss a couple'a posts and all of a sudden Talon's dead and Mara's taking over the company and Luke's having dreams about burning the love of his life. dude. your muse is kinda evil. tell him/her that for me, will ya? he/she does good work, but definitely is evil. Don't say that, it'll only encourage her She's got more evilness planned for the rest of the story, I assure you. Thanks for the reply, its wonderful to know you're enjoying. Knight_Aragorn - Thank you It's hard to imagine Mara in such an awful situation, but you've handled her emotions very well. I'm really putting Mara through the wringer with this one, that's for sure Luke feels just right also in the way that he wants to help without really understanding what that means... Thank you I'm always a bit nervous with characterising Luke, i'm glad he comes across okay. His innate goodness and need to help is perhaps overshadowing the logic centres of his brain, but I suppose, it's what he does... Thanks for the feedback! -----signature----- You are the only thing that makes sense Just ignore all this present tense
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JadeLotus Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 1/14/06 2:09am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/14 Chapter 6 - Date Edited: 1/28/06 10:56pm (1 edits total) Edited By: JadeLotus
	Chapter 6 The funeral was a small, quiet affair. Karrde, like Mara, had never been one for pomp and ceremony – she wouldn’t have his death contradict his life, as so many relatives and friends were fond of doing for their deceased loved ones. No, it was a simple service – not a politician, ambassador or official in sight. The exception was Organa Solo and her husband. Although Mara would rather have spared herself their pitying glances and Organo Solo’s oh-so-perfect condolences, Karrde had been fond of both of them. She didn’t really know why – he had liked Skywalker, too. Who was one person conspicuous by his absence. Mara was certain he would have been there, eager to offer her comfort and his special brand of Jedi advice. She swore that if he said she should be happy Talon had joined the Force she would deck him. Hard. But he wasn’t there. Organa Solo didn’t seemed to know where he had gone – off planet, somewhere. Mara didn’t inquire further. She didn’t really care. Mara hadn’t added her tears to the flood the gathered few seemed so willing to shed for Talon. Honestly she had expected more from his close friends – hardened ex-smugglers and pirates most of them. But they hid their faces, fresh with tears as many recounted their time with Talon, the difference he had made on their lives. Ghent had blubbered horribly until he couldn’t talk, looking lost and forlorn. Only Mara was strong among them, could not let their grief, their weakness touch her. She did not weep for him – Talon would not have wanted that. She stood resolute, only a slight flinch betraying her as they lit the funeral pyre. Flames licked around him, freeing his soul to the stars and Mara did not dare take her eyes off it. Inside she was reeling, her emotions and thoughts swirling, and abyss of pain and despair. This was finality – it wasn’t a dream she could wake from. She would never see that knowing smile on his face, that sound advice he administered, even when she had not asked for it. He had loved her for her flaws, in a way the Emperor never had. With her former master, it had always been to please him, to be worthy of him. With Talon it had been an acceptance – and she wanted to do well because she wished it, not because it was demanded of her. Who would she turn to now that her confidant was truly gone? No one knew her, understood her at all. Watching the flames engulf his lifeless body, Mara came to face the truth. Talon was dead, and she was alone. *********************** Luke Skywalker eyed the occupants of the bar, grimacing at the seediness of the place. He was no stranger to sordid dives such as this, but it was hard to believe that it was still Coruscant. The atmosphere and clientele reminded him more of a bar in Mos Eisley than it did to the gleaming, busy capital. There were various species drinking and gambling in the booths, glaring at him suspiciously, but Luke ignored them. Scanning the room he came across the object of his search, a redhead alone at the bar, drink in hand and head slumped. “Mara.” Reaching her swiftly, Luke touched her arm gently to get her attention. She looked up sluggishly and he was shocked at the sight of her bloodshot eyes, matted and limp hair and pallid, clammy skin. She did not seem to register or recognise him and simply threw off his grip weakly before returning to her drink. “’Bout time someone came for her,” the gruff barman called out. “Been here three days. Wouldn’t let me throw her out.” He rubbed his arm, which Luke noticed looked swollen and bruised. Three days? Luke ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. He’d made it to Oon Tiel only to discover that she’d already left with the rest of Karrde’s crew. In order not to make the trip completely worthless, he’d gathered as much information as he could surrounding the siege at the Embassy and the circumstances of Karrde’s death. It seemed now that he’d made a mistake – when he’d returned Leia had informed him that the memorial service had already been held and that Mara had all but disappeared. Worried, he’d followed her shaky Force sense, which had lead him to Coruscant’s lower levels. “What’re you doin’ here, Skywalker?” Mara asked sluggishly, startling Luke. Apparently she’d heard him after all. Thankful that despite appearances, she seemed to be lucid enough, Luke took a seat beside her. “I’m sorry I wasn’t at the service, Mara. I should have been there for you.” He didn’t explain the reason for his absence, he wasn’t sure he could without mentioning his dream and that was not a subject he wished to discuss with her. Not now. “Apology accepted,” she intoned blandly without looking up from her glass. Several long moments passed and Luke was unsure of how to respond or to put into words how much he wanted to help her through her grief. He was sure she would see it as pity; one emotion he knew Mara could not stand. Eventually, she fixed him with a cloudy yet recognisably irritated glare. “You can go now.” “Mara,” Luke began cautiously, “If you want to talk about what happened -” “I don’t,” she cut him off firmly. She then returned to studiously ignoring him. For the next several minutes he tried to engage her, get her to at least accept what had happened, but she seemed to want to bury himself. Luke understood that people grieved in different ways, but he didn’t think that numbing herself with third-rate alcohol was helping her situation at all. He’d seen many of his piloting colleagues ruin themselves that way after a bad skirmish or death of a close friend. They’d immersed themselves so deep into the drink until nothing could save them from a blank, anaesthetised existence. Even the danger of that happening to Mara frightened him. But she wouldn’t listen. Eventually they lapsed into silence, until Mara deigned to speak. “I forgot how good this stuff was,” she intoned, indicating the drink in her had and drowning the last of it. She wobbled slightly on her stool and Luke wondered how long it had been since she’d drunk heavily. Briefly searching his memory, Luke couldn’t actually recall a time where she imbibed alcohol at all. She was quite fond of caf, he knew, and at social functions she usually stuck to water or the fancy non-alcoholic fruity concoctions popular with Coruscant’s social elite. While she seemed relatively coherent there was no denying the drink was affecting her adversely. “Mara, let me take you home. Please.” He tugged gently on her arm. Before he’d even realised she’d moved, Luke found a nasty blaster pointed directly at his chest. He recognised it as the small but completely deadly spare she kept in her wrist holster. “You stay away from me, Skywalker” she said with deadly venom. She hadn’t spoken to him that way since the days of the Thrawn Crisis, so he knew she was serious. It was unwise to provoke her. “Fine”. Luke nodded and backed away, towards the door. He would wait outside, if need be, and when she was ready to leave, he’d be there for her. Sitting in the gutter outside a seedy bar was not his ideal way to spend the night, but he would just have to endure it. “He left me the organisation”. Mara’s voice came suddenly, losing all of its malice and sounding almost forlorn. Luke halted. “Excuse me?” Mara had swivelled on her stool and was now staring him down intently, her eyes somewhat clearer. She sighed irritably. “The organisation. He left it to me”. Luke hurried back to sit beside her, choosing his words carefully. “Isn’t that I good thing, though? It’s always been your dream to own your own company” She grunted and turned back to the bar, but he pressed on. “I know the circumstances are not… ideal…but now you have the opportunity...” “But I didn’t earn it, Skywalker. It’s not mine.” “Talon wouldn’t have left it to you if he didn’t think you deserved it,” he reasoned. “You just don’t get it.” She turned away, sullen, gesturing to the bartender for another drink. Luke reached out to stall her hand. “I think you’ve had enough.” He tried to make his voice as gentle as possible, but was sterner than he had intended. Mara laughed bitterly. “Enough? I don’t think I’ve had nearly enough.” “Come on, Mara,” he said, exasperated. “You know this isn’t helping.” “What makes you think you know what I’m feeling?” Her hostility was back as she shot him an accusing glare. Luke wasn’t deterred, however. “I’m no stranger to grief, Mara,” he said quietly. “Oh, that’s right. I forgot,” she sneered, rising to her feet. “Holy Jedi Master has the monopoly on grief. His Sith of a Father dies on him and suddenly he’s an expert.” Her words stung, but Luke was careful not to let it show. “It was more than just my father, Mara,” he responded softly. “What, that old hermit of a Jedi Master?” She scoffed. “You knew him what, two days? Hardly enough to grieve over. And, let’s see…” She pretended to think the matter over carefully. “Those farmers who raised you? Well, we all know how much you loved living with them.” Luke held his tongue, although his fist was clenched so tightly his knuckles had turned white. That was what she wanted – to provoke him into an argument but he wasn't about to give in to her. He knew it was just an outlet. “Now, who have I forgotten?” She was still speaking, heedless to the pain the memories were causing him. “Who else has died in the Skywalker Cause?” “Mara, that’s enough.” Luke rose to his feet and grabbed her shoulder, harder than he intended, but enough to shake her out of her rant. Rather than be shocked by his actions, Mara’s eyes were alive, pleased, even. She was ready for a fight. She wanted one. “You’ve made your point.” “No, Skywalker,” she said, her voice lowered and her expression dimming. “The point is that you’ve made peace with everyone whose up and died on you. Your aunt and uncle – they knew that you loved them. Kenobi sacrificed himself for your sake.” Her breathing became ragged, and Luke could tell she was painfully holding in her tears. “And your father… You told me you were able to speak to him, before…it happened. He knew…” Luke’s grip softened, and he moved closer to embrace her. “Mara…” “You can’t help me Luke.” Mara pulled away, a strange expression on her face. “Don’t try.” And she stalked out of the bar, albeit on shaky, uncertain legs. “Oi!” The bartender waddled over to the place where they had been sitting, his palm open and his face murderous. Luke dug around in his pockets and threw as many credits as he had on the table, before dashing out into the street which had grown dark with the approaching night cycle. Mara hadn’t gone far, however. She sat in the gutter nearby, out of the reach of the bright, garish street lights. Through the Force he felt a strong repellent and a warning, but he ignored it. Luke sat down near, rather than beside her. He felt it would be best not to crowd her physically at the very least. “You know Mara,” he began softly, careful to keep his eyes on the stars above. “There isn’t a moment when I don’t feel responsible for all of those deaths you talked about. My aunt and uncle, my father and Ben…they all died for me, or because of me. That isn’t a good feeling.” He sighed. “Maybe I don’t understand exactly what you’re going through. Maybe I can’t help you. But I can try.” Mara shifted a little, her bowed head turning slightly towards him. “Maybe I don’t want your help.” But her tone was bare and vulnerable, begging for reassurance. “Ah.” Luke managed a smile. “Not your decision I’m afraid.” When Luke Skywalker made a decision, it was forever and binding. And he decided at that moment that he was going to help her whether she wanted him to or not. -----signature----- You are the only thing that makes sense Just ignore all this present tense
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Bianka_Kenobi Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 1/14/06 3:50am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/14 Chapter 6
	Steals first reply while good boys and girls sleep Oh I loved this chapter! But he wasn’t there. Organa Solo didn’t seemed to know where he had gone – off planet, somewhere. UGH! I was afraid he'd gone off to the Eye of Palpatine and picked up the lonely bodysnatcher... When Luke Skywalker made a decision, it was forever and binding. And he decided at that moment that he was going to help her whether she wanted him to or not. Yeah Luke! Don't give up on Mara! Great post! -----signature----- Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
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Jade_eyes Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 1/14/06 4:10am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/14 Chapter 6
	Grand update. For Mara to think shedding tears is a weakness--instead of a release--not good to bottle it all up. Loved the blend of Luke's gentleness and firmness. Really glad he's determined to help whether she wants him to or not. He's seen enough people sink into the oblivion of alcohol, felt enough guilt over feeling responsible for the deaths of others--perhaps that combination can fuel his compassion for Mara's problems with spice in the past, and can help him to help her become whole and strong in spite of everything, like what happened in canon--her ability to move on and reinvent herself and become better for things, even after a mammoth struggle. Here's hoping, anyway. -----signature----- Luke/Mara, most melty, moving of soulmates Stoked to beta their stuff Mush's so nummily nice, I give one of these twice! Squee! Squggles!
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RedGold Registered: Nov '04	Date Posted: 1/14/06 5:55am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/14 Chapter 6
	Awesome chapter! Mara is back on the drink but at least the death sticks don't seem present. Luke is such a great guy, he'll help! -----signature----- Legend... Recluse... Forgotten... Will one day return... http://www.starwarsfanfic.com
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Anakins_Force Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 1/14/06 8:53am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/14 Chapter 6
	Sorry I missed a chapter...but I enjoyed getting to read two at a time. Poor Mara--I'm glad Luke has shown up for her, and that he's determined. I have to run, but I wanted you to know I really enjoyed them--great updates! -----signature----- Melissa Master to YellowDart The First Blush of Sin: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=23159489&brd=10476&replies=10
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academygrad88 Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 1/14/06 9:35am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/14 Chapter 6
	Great chapter. I am glad Luke is there for Mara. AG88 -----signature----- I love my Bomb Disposal Expert Winner of more Golden Ewoks™ than you can possibly imagine! Check out the pictures I made: http://ag88.deviantart.com/ ! You will Kriff Luke Skywalker!~ The Real last Command http://swff.bpweb.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4
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