Author Topic: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 9/13, Chapter 28
divapilot 
Registered: Nov '05
46569_NaNoWriMo
Date Posted: 1/24/06 2:51pm Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/22, Chapter 7
Mara grew desperate, leaving datapads, pots and pans, towels and other assorted goods in her wake as she searched every opening and enclosure of Skywalker’s small apartment without success. Sweat broke out on her forehead and Mara ran her hands through her hair shakily. It wasn't as if she needed it, she told herself. It was just a drink, to calm her nerves.

Sadly, I had a friend whose older brother was an alcoholic. The family couldn't have rubbing alcohol or hair spray in the house.

Maybe Luke can keep her from spinning away entirely? Could it be that she got something other than temporary comfort from his company?

 

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Golden_Jedi 
Registered: Jun '05
14707_Han and Leia
Date Posted: 1/24/06 6:55pm Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/22, Chapter 7
I hope she not changing one addiction for another... Poor Mara, poor Luke! This doesn't look good.

 

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Anakins_Force 
Registered: Jun '05
22821_Anakin comic
Date Posted: 1/24/06 9:47pm Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/22, Chapter 7
Oh my. That was a really nice description of their intimacy, and Luke is just the best guy. I hope she realizes that before it's too late.

Great update--I feel bad for Mara, but my sympathies are mainly with Luke.

 

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Jaira 
Title: FanForce Arkansas
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Registered: May '05
20873_Mara Jade
Date Posted: 1/25/06 8:08pm Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/22, Chapter 7
shock Boy am I glad I finally ventured from the Saga boards to Beyond. To think I was missing a story like this! If you have a PM list, please add me!! praying

 

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JadeLotus 
Registered: Mar '05
24190_Owen and Beru
Date Posted: 2/1/06 9:28pm Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 1/22, Chapter 7
Bianka_Kenobi – Thank you!
Oh man, what a mess...much angst to follow I'm sure.
Oh, yes. Angst galore. My apologies wink

Jade_eyes – Thanks!
Mara needing a drink "to calm her nerves", that had me worried. You can't stay numb forever.
Yes, she’s fallen into the trap of using it in all of the wrong ways.
Using Luke's desire in that way--was it only just an escape like the drink, or a subconscious fulfilling of her own dreams?
thinking You have to think, why Luke? She could have picked up anyone in that bar, or left his apartment during the day. But she stayed and made a sober (albiet addiction-fuelled) decision to be with him. I think that says at least something to where her feelings are...

RedGold - She doesn't have the best track record when it comes to intimate relations, esp when she's got the itch going for drink or spice... I'm so worry about Luke now. She used him, though he was willing, but she still used him.
*nods* It's not an easy position for either of them to be in, especially since Luke doesn't know what he's getting into. Love the new icon, btw! It's strange to see you without the cool circle symbol you had. grin

academygrad88 - Thank you!
I hope this isn't just a one night stand for Mara. That would break the Farmboy's heart.
Do you think she'll be able to resist him now she's had a taste? wink
You know, I was thinking about Luke's little slip where he says Talon is very perceptive.
Oh, please tell me that the NR faked Talon's death because they knew there was a contract on his life.
How did they do that? Ummm... maybe they grew a clone and ummm... maybe they put ysalamiri around the real Talon so Mara couldn't sense him.

Great theory! But...no, Talon's gone...for the most part... mischief

MirandaFair - Thank you happy
Her search for the drink and "stumbling" over Luke's dream was brilliant! I knew if she wasn't going to get her fix one way, she'd go another route. Feel so sad for Luke though (even though he was willing), being used like that.
She is getting desperate and it is while she may have been apprehensive of Luke's attentions in the earlier chapters, the situation has gotten to the point where she only seems to be thinking of herself and her addiction. It is sad to think that Luke didn't really know what he was consenting to when he slept with her...but I digress..
Congrats on your noms!
Thanks - same to you!

Jedi Trace - Thanks!
You did a fabulous job portraying Mara's 'need' for a fix and then her denial that she needed it. It was completely believable that she would fall back into old addictive patterns when in so much pain.
I don't have first-hand experience with that kind of addiction, but I know some people it has happened to. I'm glad it seemed realistic!
And congratulations on the noms!
Thank you - yours too! happy

StarFighter5 - Thank you!
Mara's not going to be able to walk away from Luke that easily, not like she did with the other men she distracted herself with.
Yes, he would be the complete opposite of the other men she's been with - he is looking for more than just the physical with her. Thanks for reading!

Jetta - Thanks!
Mara, girl, what are you thinking? He was the perfect thing to cure all past issues and problems.
Now that Talon is gone, he does seem to be the only cantidate to help her, although whether she will let him is another matter... Thanks for the reply!

jade51999 - She's falling back into the cycle--like in the first post--the alcohol, the sex...and i bet the spice will come next...
Hehe. Very perceptive! whistling Thanks for reading!

AvenKiel - WHAT?!! that's .... interesting.... This is getting really complicated!
There's more twists to come, rest assured wink Thanks for reading!

RebelMom - Unfortunately, Mara has to make the decision to get out of it and I don't see that happening soon.
That's true. No matter what help Luke tries to give her, ultimately it's Mara's decision to stand up and take control of her life. Thanks for the reply!

ginchy - Thanks!
But I just love how you write Mara...you really get inside that gal's head.
Hehe. I love messing around in there...
But I'm ready for the angsty ride, I'm sure is to come!
That's courageous, ginch, seeing as you know how angsty it's going to get! grin

Ariapaige - whoa poor Luke! this can only end in tears...
It seems that way, doesn't it? happy Thanks for reading!

AliKatKelts - Thank you!
I understand why she wants to be numb, but the longer she suppresses her emotions the harder she'll fall when she does grieve. And her seducing Luke is just another way of suppressing, suppressing her grief with lust.
You got it spot on - the harder she tries to fill the void with other distractions, the more of a mess she'll get herself in to. Thanks for the reply!

Valley_Lord - oooohhhh rejected that one is going to hurt Luke in the morning
That's for sure...Thanks for reading!

Dunc T'racen - First Talon dies, then Mara fails to respond to the magical healing power of Skywalker sex? What is fic coming to?
laugh Glad I can provide a twist on the genre wink

jedi7 - Trouble.
Trouble for doing for the wrong reason.
Trouble for leaving the way she did.
Trouble.

You can say that again. grin Thanks for reading!

divapilot - Sadly, I had a friend whose older brother was an alcoholic. The family couldn't have rubbing alcohol or hair spray in the house.
Oh, that is sad. I can't imagine what it would be like to live with someone with an addiction...
Maybe Luke can keep her from spinning away entirely? Could it be that she got something other than temporary comfort from his company?
If Luke has his way, perhaps - he'd be more than willing to try and keep her grounded, I think. Thanks for reading!

Golden_Jedi - I hope she not changing one addiction for another...
Unfortunately, it does seem that way... Thanks for reading! happy

Anakins_Force - Oh my. That was a really nice description of their intimacy
Thank you. I tried to stay away from toeing the PG line too much...
Great update--I feel bad for Mara, but my sympathies are mainly with Luke.
Thanks! I agree, Luke always comes first wink

Jaira - Boy am I glad I finally ventured from the Saga boards to Beyond. To think I was missing a story like this!
Aw, thank you and welcome! happy
If you have a PM list, please add me!!
Sure thing.



 

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JadeLotus 
Registered: Mar '05
24190_Owen and Beru
Date Posted: 2/1/06 9:34pm Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 2/2, Chapter 8 - Date Edited: 2/1/06 9:42pm (1 edits total) Edited By: JadeLotus

A huge thanks to the wonderful ginchy who betaed this within hours of me sending it to her. hugs







Chapter 8


“You slept with her?” Han stared at him with a mixture of astonishment and unabashed pride. “I always knew you had it in ya, kid,” He chuckled and leaned back on Luke’s couch, obviously pleased.

“Han, she used me.” The words stung at Luke’s heart, but he couldn’t deny their truth. When he had woken without her after their night together, Luke had reached out for her presence, only to find the way blocked. She had allowed in the past few years the opening up of a tentative connection through the Force, but now her barriers were tighter than they had ever been. At first Luke had worried she had returned to the bar he’d found her in and had scoured Coruscant’s underground to no success. Eventually he had learned that the Hunter’s Luck, her current ship, had gained clearance and left in the early morning. She’d run away.

“…men who would give their right eye to be used by Mara Jade,” Han was saying. Luke snapped back to attention and gave him an exasperated look. Couldn’t he see how serious the situation was? “Alright, alright,” Han raised his hands in mock defeat. “I get it.” He stood up slowly and made his way to Luke’s kitchen.

Luke didn’t follow him, but remained sprawled in the armchair where Han had found him earlier. He hadn’t left the spot for two days. Too many questions burned in his mind, too much hurt shifted inside of him to even bother about completing the work he’d come to Coruscant especially to complete. There were meetings he had to organise, people he had to see, an entire list of Academy business Tionne had marked out for him, but he had postponed it all. It wasn’t like him, Luke knew, to just push everything aside like that, but his heart and mind were utterly confused.

Hadn’t Mara come on to him, hadn’t she all but demanded that he make love to her? Images and sounds of their night together continued to surface, tormenting him with their intensity. Luke had thought, holding her close in his arms, in his bed, that he had finally broken through to Mara, to the woman underneath that he so desperately wanted to know. Obviously, he had been wrong, and the misjudgment had cost him dearly.

“Can’t actually say I’m surprised,” Han returned holding two cups of caf , one of which he handed to Luke before taking his former position on the couch.

Luke took a sip of caf and blanched. Han had obviously laced it strongly with Corellian whiskey. “Not surprised?” He set the caf down and glared at his brother-in-law accusingly. “What, that women flee after spending one night in my company?” Luke was tired, he was irritable, and he just couldn’t humour Han’s insensitivity at the moment.

“Oh, so you’re going to be moody, then?” Han smiled indulgently. “A spectacular return to form after the calm Jedi Master act you’ve been putting on, kid.”

Luke bristled at the words and was about to offer a harsh retort when suddenly he was reminded of a very similar situation, not a decade ago. It was after a rather passionate but short-lived relationship he’d had with a hyperdrive mechanic, shortly before the Rebellion’s settlement on Hoth. Luke had cared about her but it had ended badly, which had resulted in Han, once again, coming to his rescue, ready to offer comfort and advice.

He was being moody, Luke realised, just as he had been then. Maybe he had a right to be angry, to be upset, but not to take it out on his friend. Though Han had most likely been sent on Leia’s orders, Luke did not doubt that the Corellian would have come to him in any event. And he was trying to help.

“Look, Luke,” Han broke the silence and lent forward towards him, suddenly serious. “You have to understand that not everyone thinks the way that you do. What you and Mara shared…you saw it as the beginning of something, but for some people it’s just an easy release. Something to fill the void.”

It took a few moments for him to construct Han’s meaning properly. “Surely you never…”

“Luke,” Han sighed. “Even you’re not that naïve. You saw what it was like in the Rebellion, even if you tried to ignore it.”

Luke remembered – he had been educated by the Rouges on the particulars of war courtships very early in the game. Luke, however, had always preferred to seek out women the old-fashioned way, or more precisely, Uncle Owen’s way. He never slept with any women on a whim, reserving a physical joining for those he was emotionally and tangibly involved with. Of course, Mara seemed to be the exception, but Luke had thought…

He pushed that notion from his mind. “That was different,” he countered, “it was a war, people were dying…”

“What do you think smuggling is?” Han shook his head and gave him a sad smile. “It’s a dangerous profession, Luke. All of us have pasts and most of us are trying to run from them. I’m sure Mara is no exception.” Han sighed. “Look, I’m not excusing what she did to you, but after what’s happened in the past few weeks….”

It was the thought Luke had been trying to avoid for the past two days. That Mara had simply used him, that he had just been another stimulant, like the alcohol, to take her mind off her grief about Talon.

“You haven’t heard from her at all?” Han asked gently.

“She’s left Coruscant. I tried calling her, but her comm is always switched off and she won’t return my messages. Of course the Smuggler’s Alliance was less than willing to give me any information at all about where she’s gone.” Luke sighed irritably. He was so close to just jumping in his X-wing and scouring the galaxy for her. Maybe she had gone to Kessel, or perhaps Myrkr, for the memories. If she had gone back to Oon Tiel…

“Look, Luke,” Han gave him a look he usually reserved for his wayward and curious children. “You can’t push her. She obviously doesn’t want to be found.”

“But I know if we just talked….”

“What do you want to hear?” Han looked at him sternly. “You think you’ll lay your Jedi charm on her and she’ll come running into your arms? Women like Mara aren’t like that,” Han took an apprehensive breath. “And you shouldn’t expect her to be.”

Luke felt stung. He knew Han was very intuitive, and he had always seemed to like Mara, understand her, even. Had Luke been putting unrealistic expectations on his feelings for Mara? Did he expect her to just throw off every self-preserving urge in her body and give her heart to him willingly? It sounded ludicrous from the Mara he knew, but then again, the Mara he knew wouldn’t have thrown herself at him in the way that she had. The real question he had to ask himself was; did he know Mara at all?

“Not an easy woman to love,” Luke murmured to himself, a small amount of understanding dawning on him.

“What?”

“Just something Karrde said to me once,” Luke said very quietly. “He was warning me, I think.”

“Karrde was a very smart man, and he knew Mara better than anyone.” For a moment, a deep, shaded grief crossed Han’s stalwart face. “Maybe you should respect his advice, if you’re not going to listen to mine.”

“No, Han, I appreciate it, but…” Luke trailed off and closed his eyes. What was there to say? He couldn’t just pretend nothing had happened.

“You haven’t fallen in love with her?” Han seemed shocked, staring at him incredulously.

“No,” Luke answered quickly. “I just…” He found himself unable to find the right words.

“You could,” Han nodded, understanding. The thought seemed to pain him, for he rubbed his forehead and sighed. “You’re a lost cause, kid,” he said, not unkindly, then threw Luke a lopsided grin. “But we love ya for it.” He drowned the last of his caf and rose, chuckling quietly to himself.

Luke suddenly realised that he was going to go straight home and inform his sister all about their conversation. “Look, Han, don’t tell Leia, okay?” Luke stood, glancing anxiously at his brother-in-law. Han looked apprehensive, Luke knew he what he was asking wasn't an easy task. “I just don’t want her to worry, she’s got enough to deal with at the moment,” he elaborated somewhat lamely.

Han wasn’t convinced, either. “That and she might feel honour bound to seek Mara out and cause her serious bodily harm,” he raised a playful eyebrow at Luke.

“That too,” Luke replied sheepishly. Not that he didn’t think Mara could hold her own, it was just he would rather not have his sister changing off on his behalf. Not before Luke had a chance to settle things with Mara himself.

“It’s not going to be easy, kid,” Han grimaced, perhaps realising just how difficult a task deceiving Leia would be. “She sent me out specifically to find out what was wrong with you.”

“Please, Han.” Luke looked at him pleadingly, hoping their friendship would win out over his guilt over lying to Leia.

“Alright,” Han grumbled, seeing Luke’s desperate expression. “I’ll think of something…”


******************


Mara stirred into wakefulness, sighing pleasantly as she felt the warmth of another body pressed against her. She would never have expected to find comfort in Luke’s arms, but there he was, surrounding her, keeping her safe. He would always be there for her, he’d said as much and he’d since proved it in spades.

But as Mara woke up more fully, that feeling of contentment evaporated. She shifted in the bed, confused by the strangeness of the feeling. It didn’t feel like Luke beside her, it didn’t smell like Luke’s bed, that strange mixture of warm sand and clean, fresh air. Something was different…something was wrong.

“Good morning, beautiful.” A rich voice came from behind her and Mara flipped quickly around, suddenly wide awake. Dark eyes and a gleaming, too-perfect smile greeted her and Mara felt all breath crushed from her body. Hastily, she pulled away from her bed companion, drawing the sheets tightly around herself. “A bit late for that,” Lando grinned and propped himself up on one elbow, gazing at her adoringly. “I take it the fact you haven’t slit my throat is a good sign?”

Mara tried to give him a dismissive smile, but she felt her lungs constricting. She sat up, gripping the sheets protectively and turning quickly away. This wasn't happening to her. It couldn’t be.

She had been so shaken when she’d left Luke’s a few days previously. It was cruel, she knew that, but nonetheless had tried to dismiss her niggling doubts. It had been his choice – she hadn’t forced him. But she couldn’t escape the knowledge that Luke would have seen their encounter in a completely different light. And then there was the fact that despite trying hard to convince herself that he had just been another man, that he hadn’t affected her in the slightest, her memories of their night together had been hard to ignore.

And then there was her business meeting with Lando on Kessel, where as was his custom, he’d offered her a strong drink. She couldn’t actually remember much after that, except thinking that she would prove something to herself – to get the image of Skywalker out of her mind.

Lando was speaking again, waffling on about his happiness on finally breaking her shell and other such nonsense. Mara blocked out the sound of his voice, cringing inwardly. Her thoughts kept wandering back to Luke and the look of sheer happiness and ecstasy on his face as they had lain together, about how deeply hurt her actions could cause him.

By the Force, what had she done?





 

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SpiritofEowyn 
Registered: Mar '05
23978_Padme
Date Posted: 2/2/06 12:13am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 2/2, Chapter 8
“That and she might feel honour bound to seek Mara out and cause her serious bodily harm,” he raised a playful eyebrow at Luke.

Yup. That's Leia alright. peace I'd feel honor bound to cause serious harm to anyone who did that to my brother. No using the only brother. Nope Nope.


yay! Mara regrets! Now use that emotion and go get yourself some--- Skywalker. mischief It cures all.

Eeek. I wonder what Luke will think when he finds out she slept with one of his good friends?

 

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RedGold 
Registered: Nov '04
41217_Mara Jade
Date Posted: 2/2/06 1:29am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 2/2, Chapter 8
Han is awesome as usual! Luke is pretty much fallen completely for Mara, he's barely an inch above main impact!

And eek! Mara! What have you done!!!

 

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Golden_Jedi 
Registered: Jun '05
14707_Han and Leia
Date Posted: 2/2/06 3:55am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 2/2, Chapter 8
Ooooh, Luke is gonna flip when he founds out!

 

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Jade_eyes 
Registered: Aug '04
Date Posted: 2/2/06 4:19am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 2/2, Chapter 8 - Date Edited: 2/2/06 4:24am (1 edits total) Edited By: Jade_eyes
Great update!!!!! Han's advice was perfect. I can see that Luke's totally confused, because he wants Mara to react like other women he's known, but she's not like any of them, and that's exactly a great deal of her attraction. Love how Luke and Mara both can't get the other out of their heads. laugh But, argh, double sized. I think Mara really bought even more trouble. What if she has two guys hopelessly mad for her? Now she's got even more to feel guilty about, more to try to heal relationship wise, as in staying friends with Lando, and hopefully--becoming life-mates with Luke. worried It's even more complicated now, because after the fact, Mara might be realizing she is more emotionally bonded to Luke than she thought, but she probably thinks she's burned that bridge. On a totally side note: now you really will have the rep of teaming Mara with Lando. mischief wink

 

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ginchy 
Registered: May '05
18930_Luke Skywalker
Date Posted: 2/2/06 5:38am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 2/2, Chapter 8
Oh, no! First Luke, then Lando have been used by Mara. Wow, they'll both need comforting. I think I could volunteer for that work-detail.... grin

Great chapter, lady! I love how Mara seems to have feelings for our favorite farmboy, but is so unsure. Poor thing, with her addictions. It can't be comforting to allow yourself to sink to a level where you can't remember anything.

And Han was great. Loved how he is willing to risk Leia's wrath to keep Luke's secret.

I can't wait for more! Send it when you have it ready, and thanks! hugs

 

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academygrad88 
Registered: Apr '04
13884_Mara and Luke
Date Posted: 2/2/06 6:09am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 2/2, Chapter 8 - Date Edited: 2/2/06 6:10am (1 edits total) Edited By: academygrad88
Oh, you are evil JL!!! devil


JadeLotus posted:
“You think you’ll lay your Jedi charm on her and she’ll come running into your arms? Women like Mara aren’t like that,”


I guess I am not a woman like Mara, then. tongue

JadeLotus posted:
And then there was her business meeting with Lando on Kessel, where as was his custom, he’d offered her a strong drink. She couldn’t actually remember much after that...


Lando slipped her a roofie!!!! shock Could Lando be so sleezy to get a girl drunk or drugged to have sex with them? thinking Ummm... maybe.

JadeLotus posted:
, except thinking that she would prove something to herself – to get the image of Skywalker out of her mind.


HA!! It is not going to work, Mara! Once you had a taste of the Farmboy there is no going back. I wonder who's name she screamed out when she was knocking boots with Lando. tongue

Oh this is going to kill Luke. It is bad enough that she slept with another man, but with Lando!?! Lando is Luke's friend, but he is also such a player. I think Luke could forgive her for being with somebody else, after all they are not in a committed relationship, but this will just reinforce Luke's belief that Mara was using him.

Is she now using sex as the stimulant to replace spice? Is she becoming a sex addict? I wonder if they have a patch for that type of addiction, sort of like the smoking patch? thinking


JadeLotus posted:
By the Force, what had she done?


You screwed up, Jade!! That is what you did!! You need to kick Lando out of your bed, scrub the stench of his colonge off your body, and go crawling back to Luke on your hands and knees and ask for forgiveness!!

This was an evil post, JL!!

Great job!!

AG88

 

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ThePariah 
Registered: Jan '03
40064_Luke Skywalker
Date Posted: 2/2/06 6:26am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 2/2, Chapter 8
OMG!! Mara the nymphomaniac! And with Lando!!! shock

Everyone duck and cover from the incoming angst nukes! cry tongue laugh

 

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Jaira 
Title: FanForce Arkansas
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Registered: May '05
20873_Mara Jade
Date Posted: 2/2/06 7:19am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 2/2, Chapter 8
shock Aaaaargh!!!!!! *Looks again* Aaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!

 

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Feng_Huang 
Registered: Apr '05
18643_Luke Skywalker
Date Posted: 2/2/06 8:50am Subject: RE: Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Updated 2/2, Chapter 8
shame_on_you Mara, Mara, you screwed up. Big time...

but I bet there will be a few volunteers to comfort poor Luke tongue .

Oh, man, I'm actually scared to read the next chapters

 

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