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Author	Topic: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) Yes, A NEw Post, Finally(9/11/08)
laurethiel1138 Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 2/1/07 4:42pm Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) NEW POST(01/27/07)
	Hi, GL! I am really liking the shape of the story so far. You've truly created a rich world, where one can sense all the depth of an ancient civilisation. And you always leave me with the sense that you're handing us the pieces of a puzzle. But only one at a time, in seemingly random order, so that we only get the final picture once the last of the pieces are given. It's like mixing together the Epic, Suspense and Social Drama genres together, and I find the result quite fascinating. Dab in a little bit of humour now and then, and it's about as perfect as can be. Like others before me, I found the inclusion of a woman as an Admiral a very nice touch. It gives the story an unexpected twist, while echoing the figure of Admiral Daala. It is interesting and makes me wonder just how she got there... I smell a great back-story... And I have to say that this exchange (and its domesticity) made me smile: Dormé watched Ivo stare at their daughter for a moment. Then, he said quietly, “I’m not sure that that is such a good idea. It would send the message that we’re frivolous.” Taken aback by his statement, Dormé insisted, “Ivo, they were invited as the children of friends not as a trade delegation. There is no reason not to invite them to share a festive occasion with us.” Ah! Sometimes the great of the world do forget to look at life in a simpler mindset. Not everything is politricks, even if we're talking of Luke, Leia, Ivo and Dormé. There are moments when a game of golf is just a game of golf, no business negotiations attached. That said, I do look forward to your description of Long Night and New Year. Cheers, Lauré -----signature----- "You don't fall in love, you rise up to it." - Padawan Lunetta's 'Shadows' Lioness of Kele-en's Serenity-2 crew Elf of TKeira_Lea's Wraith Squadron A Jedi's Return, Vader/Ani ROTJ short story (link in bio)
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Darth-Buddy Registered: Sep '05	Date Posted: 2/9/07 4:34pm Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) NEW POST(01/27/07)
	This world of yours is fascinating. I look forward to the Skywalker kids coming for a visit. Yea. -----signature----- Buddy - A mini-pin with a Darkside. Fan Fiction is better than the Exploited Universe! Obidala sucks!
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GunraysLawyer Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 2/13/07 3:33am Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) NEW POST(01/27/07)
	OK, I know, replies have been somewhat delayed. I can only plead RL issues (the stomach flu passing through the household and one child having a minor surgery) as the reason. I wanted to make one comment and an annoucement. The annoucement is that that individual replies should come up in 12 to 24 hours. The general comment is : I find the reaction to the Kalinadian Admiral being a woman absolutely fascinating. If only because it's far from the first powerful Kalinadian/Naboo role held by a woman. I also find it interesting that the Kalinadian are viewed as somehow patriarchial in the modern P.C. perjorative sense. They are a structured, more than a little authoritarian society. As I once said "the Starships run on time" in the Commonwealth, and I once compared them to Singapore or a kinder, gentler version of South Korea under the Generals. I'm just unclear on where the perceived male domination came from... Anyone care to enlighten me? More later. -----signature----- “Fairy tales don't teach children that monsters exist. Children already know that monsters exist. Fairy tales teach children that monsters can be killed.” G.K. Chesterton To absent friends.... "...But Drummer Hoff fired it off."
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laurethiel1138 Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 2/13/07 6:28pm Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) Author Annoucement(02/13/07) - Date Edited: 2/13/07 6:30pm (1 edits total) Edited By: laurethiel1138
	Hi, GL! I think that many of us saw the Kalinadian civilisation as patriarcal because the succession rights are obviously via the male line. The fact that they had a long-standing associacion with the Empire might colour our judgment, too. Also, they do seem to accept violence as a part of life (as Ivo's Butcher of Theed moniker shows). Perhaps it's because they're typically more honest about it than, say, the Jedi, but it is also true that those characteristics aren't what the Western world usually associates with women. Which isn't to say women are only "sugar and spice and everything nice", but women do have that prejudice against them. It's no wonder, I think, that we find interesting the prospect of a female Admiral. We are just so used to those ranks being occupied by males in the Real World (a situation more often than not projected in fiction) that we sort of forget that some fiction works simply do not work that way... I hope I was clear enough. I did have rather a long day... Cheers, Lauré -----signature----- "You don't fall in love, you rise up to it." - Padawan Lunetta's 'Shadows' Lioness of Kele-en's Serenity-2 crew Elf of TKeira_Lea's Wraith Squadron A Jedi's Return, Vader/Ani ROTJ short story (link in bio)
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GunraysLawyer Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 2/19/07 7:25pm Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) Author Annoucement(02/13/07)
	A quick annoouncement borne of frustration... I am having some difficulty making teh next post work as intended. Until, I think that I've got it right, I won't even send it to my Beta. So, unfortunately, you'll have to wait for Leia's meeting with her cousin; the start of things at Toskal, and the first inklings of Kalinda's religious 'issues' with the arrival of the Arms of Delsardis, kore commonly known as the "Witch Hunters." I'll try to get it resolved as soon as possible. Thanks, GL -----signature----- “Fairy tales don't teach children that monsters exist. Children already know that monsters exist. Fairy tales teach children that monsters can be killed.” G.K. Chesterton To absent friends.... "...But Drummer Hoff fired it off."
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obsessedwithSW Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 2/19/07 7:33pm Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) Author Annoucement(02/13/07)
	I thnk we have all been there done that! Good luck. I find going to church helps me get those problem worked out. All that time to let your brain work uninterupted. -----signature----- Yes Darth Maul -bring sexy back! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW8kOYvwVng Avid SiriWaner ! Stories in Bio
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_ThatJediScum_ Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 2/25/07 9:48pm Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) Author Annoucement(02/19/07)
	The Female Admiral: When I read that that Admiral was female it did surprise me but I was struck more by her response to the situation. I do actually see the Kalinadians as more paternalistic than the Naboo. There is a bit of canon( or is it fanon?) That says Sola's husband Darred took her last name and that it is not uncommon on Naboo for a man to take their wife's last name if her family name is more known( prestigious) than his. I think that colors my view of how I see the Naboo. As for the Kalinadians, the portrait of the Royal Family you paint in your stories always gave the impression to me of a very paternalistic society and family. Not that the women aren't strong or that they aren't strong influential figures but when I think of authoritarian government I don't think of women. The Kalinadians to me have always seemed like the physical representation of the iron fist in the velvet glove. JMHO. bran
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laurethiel1138 Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 3/7/07 5:03pm Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) Author Annoucement(02/19/07)
	Just pulling this UP a bit. When is the next postie? Cheers, Lauré -----signature----- "You don't fall in love, you rise up to it." - Padawan Lunetta's 'Shadows' Lioness of Kele-en's Serenity-2 crew Elf of TKeira_Lea's Wraith Squadron A Jedi's Return, Vader/Ani ROTJ short story (link in bio)
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GunraysLawyer Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 3/9/07 7:45am Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) Author Annoucement(02/19/07)
	To answer a question... Soon, it went to my beta last night. A busy law practice and 3 kids eats into one's writing time. Sorry. Oh, but you do get to meet a Kalinadian God in the next post. -----signature----- “Fairy tales don't teach children that monsters exist. Children already know that monsters exist. Fairy tales teach children that monsters can be killed.” G.K. Chesterton To absent friends.... "...But Drummer Hoff fired it off."
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GunraysLawyer Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 3/12/07 5:28pm Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) Author Annoucement(02/19/07)
	Ok, here it is...and it's an interlude. As long term readers know, my interludes are often where seemingly strange, but important things happen. Now, on with business... The Great Game Part I A two headed Interlude ...Malleus Malificarum... 0646 hours, Destraina District, City of Beltrasia, County of Beltras, Southeast Coastal Administrative District, Kalinda The park filled the center of the small square. A small fountain with arrow-straight walkways heading directly to it from each side dominated the center of the park. Strategically placed trees and benches completed the look. It was typical of Kalinadian urban planning of the mid-fifteenth century of the Protectorate, the reign of Heinsa VII, The Architect. It was typical of hundreds of such parks in older areas of older cities throughout the Commonwealth. As the morning sun streamed into the park, it contained only one figure visible to the naked eyes of the few people who were up and about on the streets that fed into the square from each side. A man sat on one of the benches, facing west. He appeared middle-aged, with slightly ragged long brown hair and a neatly trimmed beard. He was dressed in boots, brown breeches, a white shirt, and a many-pocketed vest. A rough-hewn walking stick leaned against the bench next to him. Across his upper back was slung a small harp. It would not have taken a very close observation to notice the man’s resemblance to the most common depiction of one of the Gods. He had been here before, not just to the city or the neighborhood, but to this very square. More than sixty long years ago to the people, but the moment before last to him, he had come to gather the story of a little girl who liked to sing, and would marry a prodigal Prince. Gersalkelas the Minstrel smiled slightly to himself. Yes, that was a good story…even that old sour face Kelistras had enjoyed it… This day he had come here following a wisp carried by the wind: a familiar, disconcerting melody almost hidden among the notes of the harmonies of creation. It foretold a story more worthy of his attention then any other at the moment. In the pit of his stomach, he hoped that it was not a story that had happened before. He smirked at himself. Now there’s a feeling that even my own slightly off-kilter clerics wouldn’t expect. After all, the Gods aren’t supposed to doubt or hope or be concerned…if only they understood exactly how petty and venal we can be…they sometimes see too little of us and understand less… His thoughts were interrupted by the melody that had drawn him becoming louder. He looked up to the second-floor of the building directly across the square from him, and stared at the windows nearest the center of the building. His heart fell as he realized that he had heard the melody before. It was the blind, mad ramble of the God that even Dosilasius, the Voice of the Creator, refused to name…the lord of the dark, of chaos, the Lord of the Void. New stories began to flood into him from creation around him…vile stories of horror and insane desires. He had heard them from Kalinadians before, long ago, at the start of the last civilization’s downfall. Suddenly, a new melody disrupted the harmony. It grew steadily louder. Gersalkelas knew this theme almost without thinking. It was the power of one of Kelistras’s Lieutenants, Arkalidraias, the Justiciar, or rather of his followers. Gersalkelas looked left toward the south end of the square. Three lift vehicles had settled down across the thoroughfare, and had begun to discharge armed figures in tan uniforms. He knew without looking that the same scene existed at all the roads leading into the square. He sensed no reaction from the mass of inchoate dissonance in the building across the park from him. Reaching into the harmonies, he quickly found the reason, which was just exiting a vehicle at the western road junction. There, slowly stepping down and out of the vehicle, were two smoke gray cloaked and cowled figures. One was about half a meter shorter than the other. They seemed oblivious to the armed figures pouring out of the other two vehicles near them or to the fact that they were being observed. Gersalkelas glanced from one cloaked to the other. Then, his gaze settled upon the shorter one. Oh, you’re very strong for a mortal…very strong…you’re blocking out every mortal who might sense the resonance that you carry with you…the founder of your order, Delsardis, would be proud, Witch Hunter. Suddenly, the cowl moved almost imperceptibly in his direction. Ah, you are skilled, Witch Hunter, but now that I have your attention, I can know your story as well. The Witch Hunter’s story was a simple one. She had been trained since late childhood as a Disciple of Arkalidraias. She had been joined with the man in the cowl next to her after she had lived sixteen turns on Kalinda. She had borne him two children, both sons. They were safely away with relatives during this messy business. Her name was Elisica. She was proud to be amongst the strongest scramblers in the service of the Gods, and she was proud to be an instrument of her Gods’ justice. Elisica the Witch Hunter turned away as the man next to her flipped back his cowl and shrugged off the cloak. Gersalkelas smiled a slightly ridiculous jester’s smile. He couldn’t help himself really; he had always found the Witch Hunters a bit theatrical. This man was no exception. Under his cloak and cowl, he wore a modern facsimile of classic Kalinadian half-armor: carefully engraved breast and back plates; helmet with neck guard, and a combination face mask and neck protector. All of these accoutrements were black, except the eyepieces of the mask and the engraving of the armor, which were scarlet. In a fluid movement, the man drew a long, slightly shimmering leaf-bladed sword from a scabbard. This warrior of the Gods began to walk towards the building on the west side of the square from whence the dissonance poured into the harmonies. All around him swarmed the tan uniformed, blaster armed troops of the Archonate. Well, thought Gersalkelas the Minstrel, storyteller of the Gods, this should be interesting after all… Aboard the Star Destroyer Vanquisher, 1344 hrs, Fleet Standard Time, War Council of the Empire “I tell you that this bickering is a pointless enterprise. The Kalinadian will decide, when he chooses to decide, and not before,” said an exasperated General Maximillian Veers, tossing his briefing documents to the conference table in disgust. “The question my dear General, is whether we can wait on him, as our sources on Coruscant tell us that he’s invited key elements of the Republic’s leadership to Kalinda,” snapped an obviously irritated Admiral Daala. “Admiral, you must not forget that the same agents tell us that war between the Rebels and the Kalinadians is imminent over this Toskal issue,” said Regent Pestage in his always calm voice. “In any event,” interrupted the bushy-eyebrowed, dark-eyed man across the table from Veers, “these high-ranking Rebels are allegedly Lord Vader’s children. Arzhan’s friendship with Vader was well-known, if little understood amongst the Grand Moffs. It would make sense that he would invite them. After all, the Corellians tell us that it was a personal, not an official, invitation.” “I’m not sure that we should trust this third party information, Grand Moff Thistleborn. I realize that Director Isard holds information back from us to her own advantage, but don’t you think that our own personnel are more trustworthy?” Admiral Praji commented, more than asked. Before Thistleborn could answer, Veers interrupted. “Again I say, all this is pointless. We cannot affect Arzhan’s timetable.” A door swished open as Veers finished. A woman’s voice, clear and cold, sang out, “I think that we might just be able to General, if we know where to take action.” “Where would that be, Director Isard?” Veers asked, sarcastically. “Yes, we assume that you actually have a place that you can name.” Admiral Daala added almost as sarcastically. “Of course I do, Ililyana.” The blond woman paused. Then, looking directly at Veers, she said, “Hapes, General, Hapes.” 0653 hours, Destraina District, City of Beltrasia, County of Beltras, Southeast Coastal Administrative District, Kalinda This new version of an old story had played out quickly, even from a God’s perspective. The male Witch Hunter and his troops had entered the building. Within a minute or so, there had been a serious of loud, but dull thumps heard across the square. Gersalkelas had felt the demand for the cultists to surrender through the Harmonies. The power of Arkalidraias had echoed through them, feeding the attempt to deprive the weak willed of what will they possessed. Unfortunately, not all had been weak willed. As Gersalkelas reflected with some disgust, the fighting and killing began shortly after that. The noise of the blasters echoing around the square only confirmed it. Through it all, Elisica the Witch Hunter had stood stock still staring at the building from which all the noise was heard. The troops around her were less calm. Gersalkelas smiled, he enjoyed seeing such dedication in the face of nervous underlings. Cool headedness made for good story telling. Then the unexpected, even to him, happened. A surge of power flashed through the harmonies, and a window near the center of the building exploded outward. The wood, stone and glass was followed by a figure in silver and black robes, carrying a bloody short sword in its left hand. As this new figure landed on his feet on the pavement below, the armored bulk of the male Witch Hunter appeared in the broken window. His black armor was singed in places and splashed with scarlet that wasn’t paint. He shouted something, but Gersalkelas ignored him. Instead, he focused on the figure standing on the ground under the window. Gersalkelas knew that the figure was male. The Harmonies told him that, and that this man was insane. This man’s story was filled with such things that even a God did not wish to think about. The man’s robes had no cowl, but he was wearing a mask of silver splattered in a random pattern with black. Gersalkelas watched him glance around, and then begin to run to his left. A group of the Archonate troops moved to stop him. The running man held out his right hand. With another surge of power across the measures of the Harmonies, electricity arced from his hand to the nearest soldier. The impact threw the screaming man back nearly five meters. Then the runner made a mistake: he stopped to try to do the same to all the troops near him. Of such mistakes are common villains made, Gersalkelas thought wryly, as he listened to the rippling of cloth. His friend Elisica had shed her encumbering cloak. The nearly imperceptible sound of boot sole on pavement signaled her jump. Despite the seriousness of the moment, his Jester’s smile appeared again as Elisica landed slightly to the left and behind her opponent, flanged mace in hand. Again it was the theatricality; her hair was cut at mid-ear length all the way around her head with crown drawn together in a short top-knot. Her tunic, trousers, and boots were black, offset with a red belt. Her face was painted a deep night black with four red glyphs painted on it. They were the symbols for the first syllables of a proclamation written in ancient Kalinadian; a proclamation that Gersalkelas had witnessed the first time that it had been made. From her forehead to her right cheek to her chin to her left cheek, it read “I am the instrument of the Gods’ Justice.” Gersalkelas was almost amused by the startled reaction of the man in the silver and black. Didn’t he know that the Witch Hunters almost always work in pairs? He needs to bone up on his Church… The God’s observations were interrupted by Elisica swing her mace. The startled man instinctively raised his left arm and short sword to try to ward off the blow. The mace head struck him just short of halfway between his wrist and elbow. The blow broke his arm. He screamed. That is, if he survives… The man raised his right hand as Elisica raised her mace. The air crackled, and then the sound of blaster sang out. With a slight groan, the man in silver and black fell to the pavement a burning hole in his chest. Gersalkelas frowned to himself as he listened to Elisica curse, to no one in particular, the circumstances as she commented that the Inquisitors of Ardarza had wanted a God touched prisoner. So, my brother the warlord knew something like this was happening, and so did Kelistras, his lieutenants write very good reports…this has all happened before…Is it all to happen the same way again? Gersalkelas saw the Witch Hunter glance his way again as he began to fade from the plane and head back to what the Kalinadians simply called the Promised World. She is strong…so is her mate, they and their kind will stand against the Unspeakable, but it wasn’t enough last time…it wasn’t enough to change the story’s end. End Interlude -----signature----- “Fairy tales don't teach children that monsters exist. Children already know that monsters exist. Fairy tales teach children that monsters can be killed.” G.K. Chesterton To absent friends.... "...But Drummer Hoff fired it off."
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dianethx Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 3/13/07 6:00pm Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) New Post(03/12/07)
	Very odd, GL. Was this the past or the future with the God-like minstrel? It seems almost dreamlike as he watched the woman break the runaway's arm and then see him killed. I wonder why they wanted a God touched prisoner. I would have thought there would be enough around on Kalinda... Beautifully written. Looking forward to the next post. -----signature----- Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08 Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08 Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434 Master to jedidas3 Impeach Bush!
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geo3 Registered: Sep '02	Date Posted: 3/15/07 8:39pm Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) New Post(03/12/07)
	You know, this is one of those posts that makes me think that you're only nominally writing fan fiction here. The original world you have created is by now so detailed and rich that it could more than stand on its own. IN fact, I think it could add a lot to the wider world of sci-fi (or whatever genre this might fit into). I loved the interlude, of course. These gods of yours are intriguing - so human and yet not. I don't know which storyline I want to follow more, the one presented here or the main one! But I still need to know what happens to 'Lord Vader' and his sister. And Ivo and company, of course! -----signature----- "Love is higher than opinion. If people love one another the most varied opinions can be reconciled - this is one of the most important tasks for humankind today and in the future is that we should learn to live together and understand one another. " ===
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rocketscientist Registered: Nov '05	Date Posted: 3/19/07 7:27am Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) New Post(03/12/07)
	Yeah, what she said. ^ -----signature----- I write to find out why I’m writing what I’m writing. M.J. Harrison WIP - Doppelgänger - http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=24328635&brd=1 my fan art- http://boards.theforce.net/fan_art/b10020/25738915/p1
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GunraysLawyer Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 3/26/07 6:04pm Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) New Post(03/12/07)
	Replies.... dianethx--- First, sorry about the odd nature of some events here. As to your question, the God in question(actually one of the core of the Kalinadian Pantheon, and a living embodiement of those notes of creation that are concerned with history and story-telling and memory) was watching the present from the POV of the mortal characters in this work. But, Present, Past and Future are slippery concepts for Gods. As to the God touched prisoner...Well, if you were the God Touched Church facing a heresey made up of God touched, wouldn't you want to interrogate one of them? geo3--- Thank you for your devotion to this work. Truat me when I say that you'll be seeing more of both storylines. rocketscientist--- Did I really flummox you that much? LURKERS...Come out and POST! -----signature----- “Fairy tales don't teach children that monsters exist. Children already know that monsters exist. Fairy tales teach children that monsters can be killed.” G.K. Chesterton To absent friends.... "...But Drummer Hoff fired it off."
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NinjaSkywalker Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 4/24/07 9:37am Subject: RE: The Great Game (an OC driven, Post ROTJ AU) Replies(03/26/07)
	GL- It's great to see this series is still going. I've been lurking for a while now since I've been too busy to do much else. I'm curious as to what the god is referring to when he's talking about the story's end? Also, is the anti-jedi sentiment so extreme since the death of the protector? Matt -----signature----- The 7 Virtues: Gi , Yu , Jin , Rei , Makoto , Meiyo , Chugi To truly temper oneself, one must master only three things; the mind, the Body, and the Spirit Kishido I do not want to fight, however that does not mean that I will not www.moorejewelrychain.com
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