Jedi Council Forums - On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic

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Author	Topic: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
oldjedinurse Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 5/22/06 10:13am Subject: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd - Date Edited: 7/9/06 10:53am (2 edits total) Edited By: oldjedinurse
	Title: On the Way to Heaven Author: oldjedinurse Timeframe: Post-DNT AU (most likely) Characters: Jag, Jaina Genre: Songfic Keywords: Jag, Jaina Notes: Vignette - Complete Disclaimer: I own nothing I post in relation to SW. I'm just writing words in random order to provide you with the sport of interpreting them... Song Credit: “Something Happened On the Way to Heaven” (Collins/Stuermer) 1989 Atlantic Recording Corporation. Appears on the albums, “…But Seriously” and “Phil Collins …Hits”. On The Way To Heaven We had a life, we had a love, But you don't know what you've got 'til you lose it Her body seemed to drift along three steps behind as she crossed the vast hangar toward him. Commander Jagged Fel. Her mind still feeling the ache of Zekk’s death, Jaina knew this meeting was too soon but couldn’t let the opportunity pass. Another decade, a different war. Professional allegiances were temperamental as a protocol droid and everyone’s personal relationships were scarred. There might never be a good time—a better time. Their last conversation whispered in her thoughts. He had been angry, bitter, unforgiving. Well that was then and this is now And I want you back How many times do I have to say I'm sorry She stared at his broad shoulders, their muscular shape so familiar and unmistakeable. Her hands tingled at the memory of clutching him to her. Jaina bit her lip, hard, to distract her body from its unerring need. No one else has ever made me feel this way. The cloth of her uniform rustled as she shuddered involuntarily. No simple apology would be sufficient. She knew what she wanted—what she needed—yet there was every chance he would turn her away. I have no right even to ask. Jaina kept walking. I only wanted someone to love But something happened on the way to heaven It got a hold of me and wouldn't let go I should have married you when I had the chance, Jag. I was overwhelmed by the exhaustion, the sorrow of growing up in the Yuuzhan Vong chaos. Chewie. Anakin. Dad’s pain, and Mom’s. Jacen. Aunt Mara. Everything. I didn’t know who I was. Making a permanent commitment to be half of a couple terrified me. I made all the wrong choices and ended up with no independence after all. Raynar Thul’s call to join the Killiks had been a drug more powerful than all the glitterstim in the galaxy. Caged by the hive’s mental pressure and their insistence that she be joined with Zekk, Jaina barely remembered most of her time with them. What they had done, the acts of the Myrkr Jedi, were clear because her family and Cilghal had recounted everything to her. After he had died. Jaina’s only real memory was of Zekk’s unwelcome intrusion. He had made the Killik pressure his own. He knew. He had known all along. Jaina would never have been his. Not in the way he wanted. He could feel the cell within her mind where she kept her Jag-thoughts. Now and then he broke in, a voyeur seeking her most intimate memories. She had hated him for it. Twice, Zekk tried to force himself on her. He chose vulnerable moments, after too much membrosia. The first time, he’d had too much to drink himself and fell asleep before reaching his goal. The second time, Jaina made sure his wounds wouldn’t heal too quickly. That put an end to his physical advances, but he refused to give Jaina her freedom. If you hadn’t died, Zekk, your hold on me might never have been broken. Her fists clenched. Did you know how much I wished for you to go away? She swallowed the thought. It was a caustic lump that burned its way into her stomach. All these desperate years, Jaina had held more than Jag in the privacy of her mind-cell. She had clasped tightly to what remained of herself. And I want you back How many times do I have to say I'm sorry One slightly shaky foot after the other, her pace slowed. Three Chiss stood with Jag, who was speaking intently with General Celchu and another Alliance officer Jaina didn’t recognize. The tingling in her hands persisted—now a mild counterpoint to her wildly fluttering heart, its pulse growing as disorganized as her thoughts. I have to decide what to say, she forced her mind to cooperate. I’m sorry. You were right about me. Please forgive me. Please listen to me. I don’t know why you should, but please listen. I love you. I will always, always love you. Only you. Don’t you know that? Can’t you feel that? Do you even care? There it was. All of her hopes and fears in two words. Please care! Twenty meters from him, Jaina stopped. What if he walks away? You can run, and you can hide But I'm not leaving less you come with me We've had our problems but I'm on your side You're all I need, please believe in me Jaina was vaguely aware that she could no longer see the back of his crisp uniform. He was turning—stepping in the direction of the sleek Chiss shuttle. Away from her. NO! His head snapped back so suddenly, Jaina wondered if he had somehow heard her mind call out. Their gaze held. How can something so good go so bad How can something so right go so wrong I don't know, I don't have all the answers But I want you back How many times can I say I'm sorry “I’ll have her escorted out,” Tycho’s stern voice pierced the silence, though his eyes retained a shadow of sadness as he looked at Jaina. She watched as Jag quickly lifted his right hand to belay the order. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Jaina wondered if any remnant of their erratic mental closeness still existed. Please! Two anxious hearts kept beating. Her’s, full of hope and pain, sought the rhythm they’d shared in the very best of times. His stubbornly refused at first, but as the seconds passed, it reluctantly slipped into the same familiar Jaina-Jag tempo. Defying time and space, their bodies repaired one piece of their long-lost connection in a fleeting moment. Two minds, however, struggled to reach beyond the firestorm of the past. They say you can't take it with you When you go And I believe it But taking what I've got or being here with you, you know I'd rather leave it You can run and you can hide... She stood in front of him now, drawn by magnetic force to study the language of his eyes. I’d rather lose my life than lose you again. It was now, or never. “Jagged Fel, I’m not leaving unless it’s with you.” *** The End. -----signature----- Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
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Kissa Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 5/22/06 10:26am Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	That was pure . . . wonderful. Your writing always leaves me with bated breath by the time it finishes, and this time was no expecption. Great job. -----signature----- Padawn to NYCitygurl I'm more Word Processor than human; Twisted by plot bunnies and feedback cravings! Replica: Sequel to Replaced: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/24053902/p3
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Chimpo_the_Sith Title: FanForce CR FF Poland Registered: Mar '03	Date Posted: 5/22/06 10:51am Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	Great songfic Scrubs If only canon was this way -----signature----- You can read this? Good you don't need glasses
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Jade_Pilot Registered: Dec '05	Date Posted: 5/22/06 11:31am Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	Ahhhh...just wonderful! -----signature----- I'm so adjective I verb noun.
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Super_Jemi Registered: Mar '06	Date Posted: 5/22/06 11:34am Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	Beautiful! Absolutely amazing. It really captures the two of them in their own little bubble. The part about their bodies recognizing each other but their minds struggling with everythign else, it was poetic. Very nice. -----signature----- “Have you ever put bubble bath in a hot tub? It's a mistake you only make once.”-Kate McCaye
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TelannaTani Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 5/22/06 12:05pm Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	Great job, OJN! I love her admission, how she'd made all the wrong choices. It's a tough spot to be in, a spot filled with such regret and yet here, some shards of hope. I also really appreciated how you described the "Zekk" issue - how he'd felt, how she'd felt and the 'cage' he kept her in. Hopefully some bridges can be crossed and some progress can me made! Voz -----signature----- John 8:31-32 Callsign: "Voz" Padawan to BigFatty
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PRINCESSCAMBRIA Registered: Jan '06	Date Posted: 5/22/06 1:22pm Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	Oh wow That was beautifully done -----signature----- "My specialty? Why flyboys of course!" "Beautiful Temptress of Pilots" - adaml83 Caffeine Crazed Rebel Leader of the XWFC Proud Member of Kyp Lovers Anonymous and Kyp Clone Society
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FelsGoddess Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 5/22/06 1:40pm Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	Making a permanent commitment to be half of a couple terrified me. I made all the wrong choices and ended up with no independence after all. Very powerful. “Jagged Fel, I’m not leaving unless it’s with you.” There's our Jaina. Excellent work! -----signature----- Knighted by Tahi
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MirandaFair Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 5/22/06 5:30pm Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	I love that song and for such an upbeat tempo, the lyrics hold onto a little bit of the bittersweet. Nicely done encorporating the lyrics and J/J's story. The build up to the end...oh, so good! Two oldj fics in one day...? How great is this? I loved how you closed things with this: “Jagged Fel, I’m not leaving unless it’s with you.” -----signature----- May the Muse be with you.
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oldjedinurse Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 5/22/06 5:38pm Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	Kissa posted: That was pure . . . wonderful. Your writing always leaves me with bated breath by the time it finishes, and this time was no expecption. Great job. So glad you enjoyed this, Kissa. To leave a single reader "with bated breath" is an amazing compliment! Thank you so much. Chimpo_the_Sith posted: Great songfic Scrubs If only canon was this way Thanks, Chimpo. We can wish for profic, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Fingers crossed Jade_Pilot posted: Ahhhh...just wonderful! Glad you think so, Jade_Pilot! Super_Jemi posted: Beautiful! Absolutely amazing. It really captures the two of them in their own little bubble. The part about their bodies recognizing each other but their minds struggling with everythign else, it was poetic. Very nice. Thanks so much, Super_Jemi! I love the word poetic. It was very kind of you to apply it here. TelannaTani posted: Great job, OJN! I love her admission, how she'd made all the wrong choices. It's a tough spot to be in, a spot filled with such regret and yet here, some shards of hope. I also really appreciated how you described the "Zekk" issue - how he'd felt, how she'd felt and the 'cage' he kept her in. Hopefully some bridges can be crossed and some progress can me made! Thanks, Voz! I love your interpretation - it is just what I was going for! PRINCESSCAMBRIA posted: Oh wow That was beautifully done Thank you very much, PRINCESSCAMBRIA! FelsGoddess posted: Making a permanent commitment to be half of a couple terrified me. I made all the wrong choices and ended up with no independence after all. Very powerful. “Jagged Fel, I’m not leaving unless it’s with you.” There's our Jaina. Excellent work! I love your comment, "There's our Jaina." I couldn't hope for a better response. Thanks, Fels! MirandaFair posted: I love that song and for such an upbeat tempo, the lyrics hold onto a little bit of the bittersweet. Nicely done encorporating the lyrics and J/J's story. The build up to the end...oh, so good! Two oldj fics in one day...? How great is this? I loved how you closed things with this: “Jagged Fel, I’m not leaving unless it’s with you.” Big hugs, my friend! Thank you so much for your support - I'm very happy you enjoyed this! -----signature----- Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
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Mirax_Corran Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 5/22/06 6:38pm Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd - Date Edited: 5/22/06 6:38pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Mirax_Corran
	That's so ... Wow. Great work, oldj! I've missed your fics. -----signature----- "Pretty. What do we blow up first?" * * * * The Wise Words of Myn Donos * * * * Fics in my profile
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Courtney_Solo Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 5/22/06 6:43pm Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	Oldj is back!!! -----signature----- Might come back and write a little more. We'll see - hopefully!
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BigFatty Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 5/22/06 6:46pm Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	1) Please make sure to PM all your story infor to the Index. 2) Are you sure this is complete? 3) Once again, it is fantastic to see you writing again. -----signature----- 1 Peter 3:15 My Fics: http://fattysfics.livejournal.com My BSG Blog: http://battlestargalactica.contentquake.com My Office Blog: http://theoffice.contentquake.com I make my own icons
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ccp Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 5/22/06 7:36pm Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	Excellent! Is there more? -----signature----- Padwan to Big Fatty If someone says, "Have a nice weekend," I never say, "You too." Because I never know if, perhaps, by the time the weekend rolls around, I will have other plans for that person. Come Friday, I may wish to have them slain. - George Carli
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oldjedinurse Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 5/22/06 8:16pm Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	Mirax_Corran posted: That's so ... Wow. Great work, oldj! I've missed your fics. Thanks, Myra - great to "see" you again! Courtney_Solo posted: Oldj is back!!! I'll take that to be a good thing...thanks, Courtney! BigFatty posted: 1) Please make sure to PM all your story infor to the Index. 2) Are you sure this is complete? 3) Once again, it is fantastic to see you writing again. 1. Done. 2. It was when I wrote it this morning. 3. Thanks so much, BF. ccp posted: Excellent! Is there more? You guys are killin' me here! Thanks, ccp. -----signature----- Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
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YodaKenobi Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 5/23/06 2:07pm Subject: RE: On the Way to Heaven - J/J Songfic - Post-DNT AU ... May 22nd
	Twice, Zekk tried to force himself on her. He chose vulnerable moments, after too much membrosia. The first time, he’d had too much to drink himself and fell asleep before reaching his goal. The second time, Jaina made sure his wounds wouldn’t heal too quickly. That put an end to his physical advances, but he refused to give Jaina her freedom. Creepy “Jagged Fel, I’m not leaving unless it’s with you.” Aww Another great viggie, oldj Was glad to see Jaina free of the Killik hive mind and Zekk. Who would have guessed he was that creepy? Was also nice that Jaina seemed very apologetic, though I honestly don't think she did much wrong during the DN trilogy. She was one of the few Jedi doing the right thing, but I have a feeling that will come out soon... I liked the way you left us on the edge, wondering if Jag would accept Jaina's apology and go with her, but I think it's pretty obvious he will. Who wouldn't? Terrific job! -----signature----- Supersonic gone and took my soul The Lands of the Dead: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28522077/p1 Blood Trail: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28636429/p1 "They weren't very bright, even for Imperials."— Emala
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