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Author	Topic: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (OCs) Updated 5/16/07!
YodaKenobi Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 9/6/06 4:01pm Subject: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (OCs) Updated 5/16/07! - Date Edited: 4/15 4:21pm (8 edits total) Edited By: YodaKenobi
	Title: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass Author: YodaKenobi Timeframe: Post Jedi Academy trilogy Characters: OC's Genre: Humor Keywords: Lightchucks Summary: The Tale of a dimwitted Sith Lord and his apprentice Notes: I make no guarantees that this is funny, only that it's absurd My attempt at levity. This is not going to be a one poster, but the start of many adventures Inspired by this emoticon: Thanks to my trusty beta jagsredlady who's always looking after me. The name "Darth Dumbass" was a generous donation from the mind of LosDosMos and "Scrobi" from that of oldjedinurse. Thanks ladies Okay, here we go... Episode 1: Lightchucks Darth Dumbass was angry. For once, his anger had nothing to do with the unfortunate moniker Darth Mongrel had bestowed upon him on the day he became a Sith Lord, and everything to do with the thing that was making him angry. The thing that was making him angry was the thing that was making him angry, and the thing that was making him angry was that he didn't know what to do. He'd been a Sith Lord for several months now and he hadn't the slightest idea what was the next way to proceed. All his energy had gone into pleasing Lord Mongrel and passing all the tests and trials his instructor had forced him through to become a Sith. Now he realized he hadn't the slightest idea what a Sith was supposed to do. Darth Mongrel was the disembodied spirit of a long dead Sith Lord, with a craggy, pocked face and a thick beard, who dwelled in a cave on the top of Mount Gloom where Dumbass lived, on the outskirts of Calibon City, on the planet Korona. Mongrel had lived a long time ago and had been killed when he was mistaken for a Jedi during one of the purges. Dumbass couldn't remember which one, but he was certain it was one where the Sith were against the Jedi. On the day that Dumbass had become a Sith Lord, he'd asked the luminescent spirit inside the cave what he should do next. Lord Mongrel had told him to "find an apprentice. There are always two Sith Lords." "Why?" Darth Dumbass had questioned. "Because it is the way the Order survives. That way when your apprentice kills you, there will still be one Sith Lord— him." "But what if I don't get an apprentice? Then one Sith Lord will still survive— me." "No, that could never work," Lord Mongrel explained. "There are always two Sith Lords." "Why?" The conversation went on for hours. Finally, Dumbass had realized that there were always two Sith Lords, so that when his apprentice killed him, there would still be a Sith, and went into Calibon City with renewed purpose to find an apprentice. The only Force-sensitive he could find there was a dim-witted Sullustan named "Scrobi." Scrobi was a kind-hearted moron who worked in a shop that sold toy speeders in the small city and had no real interest in becoming a Sith Lord. Dumbass had marched into the shop where Scrobi worked when he felt his dim presence in the Force. "I am the Sith Lord, Darth Dumbass. Have you heard of me?" He asked. "Yes, yes," Scrobi replied enthusiastically. "I have heard of you." Scrobi had heard of Dumbass, but it was only a moment ago when the Sith Lord had said his name. "I can feel that you are very special," Dumbass continued, pleased that the people of Calibon had already started talking about him, no doubt, in wonder and fear of his awesome powers. "Have you ever felt that you were somehow different from the others here?" "Yes, yes," Scrobi said. "All the time." This was true too. Scrobi had always felt different because he was stupid. He was the only other person in Calibon dumber than Darth Dumbass. "Have you ever wondered why that is?" "No, not really," Scrobi answered. He didn't wonder about much, and he certainly didn't wonder why he was different than others. The other villagers in Calibon told him as often as possible. "Well let me tell you why it is," Dumbass countered triumphantly. "It's because you hold inside you a great power." "I do?" "Yes, you do. It's the power of the Force." Scrobi didn't know what the Force was but he could tell that it was very important to Dumbass that he understood, so he nodded along, saggy bottom lip glistening with drool. "With it, you will become my apprentice," Dumbass continued. "A Dark Lord of the Sith." The Sullustan's vacuous eyes grew larger and he made a tiny noise of awe as he again nodded, feigning understanding. "Together we will rule the galaxy." "I see..." "Don't you want to rule the galaxy?" "I don't know..." Scrobi said timidly. "How can you not know? Wouldn't it be great to wield power over all you see?" "My whisperkit's name is 'Morsel'," Scrobi smiled. "Take your boss," Dumbass said in exasperation when it was clear the Sullustan was not getting it, pointing at the startled Bothan behind the counter of the shop. "How would you like to stick it to that jerk? Make him crawl and serve you as he quivered at your every word?" "Oh, Mister Fan'ga can't crawl. He has bad knees," Scrobi explained. "Forget that! Wouldn't you like to get back at him for how he treats you?" "Oh, no. Mister Fan'ga has always been very nice to me." This was true too. Although the citizens of Calibon often told Scrobi he was stupid, they were very nice to him and everyone liked him. In fact, Scrobi was probably the most beloved resident of the village, because he was nice and dense, and people had a natural trust of others who weren’t as smart as they were. They could never fathom someone who was less intelligent double-crossing or thinking badly of them. "But don't you want power?" Dumbass persisted. "With my help, I can teach you to do anything you've ever wanted to." "That does sound nice!" Scrobi replied exuberantly. "Could you teach me how to make that syrup they have down at Eurni's House of Flatcakes?" "Well, no..." "Or how to heal Mister Fan'ga's knees?" "No, dammit!" It was clear to Dumbass that training an apprentice was going to be more difficult than he thought. "Don't you want to be a Sith Lord?" he asked, hovering somewhere between bursting into tears of frustration and beating the Sullustan senseless. Scrobi wasn't sure if he wanted to be a Sith Lord, not knowing what it meant, but he could see that Darth Dumbass wanted him to very badly, and Scrobi wanted to make a new friend. He was really hoping he and Dumbass could be best friends. "Yes, of course," Scrobi answered. "Who wouldn't want that?" "Precisely! That's the spirit!" Dumbass beamed with relief, slapping the little alien on the shoulder. "Now all we have to do is pick out a Sith name for you." "Do I get to pick it?" "No," Dumbass said. He really wanted Scrobi to have a fierce, intimidating Sith name to make up for the one Mongrel had given him, so that the pair would be legitimized and feared. "From this moment forth, your name will be Darth Maniacal." "My name is Scrobi," Scrobi explained. "I know your name is Scrobi. I'm changing it to Darth Maniacal." "Oh no, Mister Dumbass. I don't think my mother would like that at all." "Who gives a damn what your mother thinks?" "Well, I sometimes don't think my father does..." "Your father's a jerk," Dumbass said. "I command you to kill him." "Oh, I couldn't possibly do that!" "Yes you will. It's going to be your Sith trial and a test of your loyalty to me." "No, no. I could never kill anyone." "You couldn't kill anyone?" Dumbass asked in disbelief. "Then how can you be a Sith if you don't destroy? Don't strike fear in the hearts of those you rule over?" "I don't know..." Scrobi mused. "Couldn't I be a Sith who reassures people with hugs?" Dumbass stared blankly at the simple-minded alien for another moment. It was obvious that Scrobi was never going to be smart enough to understand the concept of a second name, even if he could get him to agree on one. "How about I just call you Darth Scrobi?" "That sounds wonderful! Darth Scrobi," he repeated, and laughed to himself when he heard it. "Come on," Dumbass said, grabbing Scrobi by one of his oversized drooping ears and pulling him out of the shop. "We've got work to do." That day had been the cause of so much frustration for Darth Dumbass. He looked down at Calibon from the opening of the cave inside Mount Gloom that he called his home, wishing he hadn't picked an apprentice so that he still had something to do... or so at least he could pick someone besides Scrobi. Dumbass sneered down at the citizens of Calibon, whom he ruled over even if they didn't know it yet. It was a small city filled with friendly people who Dumbass couldn't stand at all, and whose commerce was mostly derived from the little interplanetary trade they could manage from farming. There were no arcing spires or soaring airspeeders, but the buildings in Calibon stood proudly in their mediocrity and the streets were filled with happy, common faces and the occasional average ground speeder. He could see his apprentice from his vantage, making his way eagerly through the streets of Calibon to a small diner he frequented, where the cook was his friend. Dumbass would have worried that Scrobi was plotting against him if the Sullustan were a little smarter, but he couldn't fathom someone who was less intelligent double-crossing or thinking badly of him. Scrobi wasn't plotting against his master of course, because he was very stupid and would never double cross or think badly of anyone. He entered Maraka's diner, saying hello to Maraka, the Wookiee cook there, and taking a seat at the counter. Maraka was probably Scrobi's best friend next to Darth Dumbass, even though the little Sullustan didn't understand a single bellow of Shyriiwook. "Good afternoon, Maraka," he greeted cheerily. "How are you this fine day?" "Mmrrrraaaaaaawww," the Wookiee answered. "I hear you," Scrobi said in agreement. Darth Scrobi sometimes came to Maraka's diner to unload a bit about his troubles to his trusted friend Maraka. "I sometimes believe Lord Dumbass really thinks I'm an idiot," he told the Wookiee. "I really think Scrobi's an idiot," Darth Dumbass said to Lord Mongrel's shimmering spirit as he paced around the cave on the top of Mount Gloom. "Did I ever tell you what he named his whisperkit?" "Forget all that, Dumbass," Mongrel snarled, weary from his student's whining. "What are you doing to take control of the galaxy? To destroy Skywalker's Jedi?" Skywalker. Dumbass knew all about Luke Skywalker and the new Jedi order he was training on some hidden planet in the galaxy since the rise of the New Republic. He had a top-secret source for information— he'd seen it in a holodrama. "I don't know, Master Mongrel," Dumbass sighed in frustration, scratching his short black hair. "I don't know where to begin. I have no idea where to start looking for Skywalker and his Jedi." "He's on Yavin 4, you idiot. I've told you that a hundred times!" "No idea where to start," Dumbass repeated, shaking his head and not listening to the figure of glowing cerulean before him. "It's clear you're not ready to face Skywalker yet," Mongrel began in exasperation. "But I think I know what you need to do to help you prepare." "You do?" "Yes. I want you to go to Agamar," Mongrel explained. "There you will find the Space Ninjas." "Space Ninjas?" "Yes, Space Ninjas. They are an ancient sect of warriors. The Space Ninjas of Agamar." "I see," Dumbass replied, stroking his chin. "But how will killing these Space Ninjas teach me how to defeat Skywalker?" "I don't want you to kill them, you fool! I want you to learn from them!" "Ahh." So Darth Dumbass took off for Agamar. The only ship he had was an old Z-95 Headhunter— Or as Scrobi had called it on the few occasions Dumbass had let him fly it, a "Z-95 Hughunter." Dumbass had found the ship crashed into the side of Mount Gloom a few years earlier and had done his best to repair it, making it completely useless. Finally Dumbass was able to actually have it fixed by one of the mechanics at the spaceport after threatening to kill him— and when that didn't work, he told the mechanic he had docked it there and left it in pristine condition only to come back and find it had been vandalized. The threat of litigation got the reluctant mechanic moving. After the long trip to Agamar, Dumbass landed his starfighter down in an open field just outside of Calna Muun, where he walked and got directions from some locals on how to find the Space Ninjas. After some threatening and tearful begging, Dumbass found the Space Ninjas practicing their combat techniques on a plateau two kilometers outside of the city. They were a curious bunch, garbed all in black robes like Dark Jedi, their faces wrapped in similar black cloth, so that only their dark eyes could be seen. Dumbass watched from afar as they punched and kicked one another like ballerinas, and used a variety of melee weapons, including swords, staffs, and a strange weapon Dumbass had never seen before which consisted of two half-meter long wooden cylinders attached by a chain at the top of each. The Space Ninja's wielding them spun them around in rapid circles and stuck each other with them. Dumbass' interest in the proceedings lasted only as long as it took him to realize they were all too skilled to let themselves be hit in the crotch and then he began to get sleepy. Finally, just as he was drifting off, he saw something that brought on the biggest epiphanies of Darth Dumbass' life. One of the Space Ninja's with the strange twirling weapons used it to wrap around the sword of his opponent and then pulled it from the other warrior's grip. Dumbass was fascinated and immediately began calculating how such a weapon could be modified to counter a Jedi's lightsaber. He came out of his hiding place and approached the Space Ninjas on the plateau to find out more about the mysterious weapon. "Excuse me? You there! What is that you have?" Dumbass asked as he approached, straightening his black Sith cloak and gesturing at the strange weapon in the hand of the warrior who had used it to steal his adversary's sword. The Space Ninjas stared at him for a moment before the one looked down at the object of Dumbass' attention and then turned back to him. "They are called nunchucks." Nunchucks, Dumbass thought with glee and wonderment. What a glorious word! "They are not for sale, outlander," one of the Space Ninjas said, guessing at Dumbass' intentions. "We couldn't possible part with a pair for less than one-hundred-and-thirty-five credits at the gift shop." "I'm not interested in obtaining your ballerina weapons," Dumbass explained. "But now that you've seen me and know what I wanted, I'm afraid I'll have to kill you all. I don't want word of this getting back to Skywalker after all. Prepare to get your first and last glimpse of true power, jerks!" Darth Dumbass unleashed a violent stream of Force lightning from his fingertips, letting the forks of white and violet course through the surprised Space Ninja's as he laughed sadistically. Dumbass was mad for Force-lightning. He would use it to start a fire in the cave when it got chilly, or to nuke a space burrito. Finally all the Space Ninjas lay in dead, smoldering heaps on the plateau and Dumbass trotted off quite pleased with himself. He returned to Korona and his cave dwelling on Mount Gloom where he explained to Scrobi his plan to create a weapon to defeat the Jedi. "Behold!" Dumbass cried theatrically, unfurling a piece of flimsi on which he had diagramed the design for his mighty weapon. "I give you the weapon that will defeat Skywalker and his Jedi— Lightchucks!" "Lightchucks," Scrobi repeated, his eyes filled with wonder. "Yes, they're like the Space Ninja's nunchucks, only instead of the wooden handles, they have two energy blades like that of a lightsaber, so they can stand up against the Jedi weapons." "It's brilliant, Mister Dumbass!" "I know," the Dark Lord replied smugly. "I hesitate to use the word foolproof around you, Scrobi, but I would think even you can see how perfect my design is. Not a fault to be seen." "Yes, yes," Scrobi agreed. The pair set about constructing the prodigious weapon over several weeks, building the handles in much the same way Dumbass had built his lightsaber, with a small metal top no more than an inch long on each from which the chain was attached and the energy blades were emitted. Finally all their efforts paid off and the construction was complete. Dumbass and Scrobi stared down at the device they created with self-satisfaction as it laid on the workbench. Not yet activated, it was simply a chain attached to two pieces of metal, one of which had a small red activator switch on its top. "I did it," Dumbass proclaimed proudly, ignoring Scrobi's contributions. "Now to see it in all its glory!" He reached over and thumbed on the activator. In what seemed the same instant two beams of scarlet light snapped to life, projecting out from the tiny metal pieces slightly less than a half-meter. "Wow," Scrobi whispered in awe, his big eyes reflecting the crimson light. "So glowy." Dumbass couldn't stop grinning as he looked down at the lightchucks, a weapon that would strike fear in the hearts of the Jedi Knights. The smile slowly faded as Darth Dumbass became aware of a slight flaw in his design and his brow furrowed in confusion. How was he going to pick them up? The handles were two beams of light like his lightsaber and could cut through anything. "Scrobi, pick them up." "What?" The glassy-eyed Sullustan asked. "But Lord Dumbass, I don't know how they work." "I didn't ask if you knew how they worked. I told you to pick them up. If I wanted to know what you didn't know, I wouldn't have asked because you told me. Now pick them up." Scrobi looked back at the lightchucks, fear and bewilderment etched in the features of his pasty face and quivering bottom lip that always seemed to glisten with saliva. "But I don't know how to do that either!" "What? Isn't it obvious? Just pick them up, you damned moron!" Dumbass didn't want to admit that he hadn't a clue how to pick them up either and was hoping that Scrobi would figure it out. He didn't dare show any weakness in front of Scrobi— Sith tradition dictated that Scrobi kill him if he did and Dumbass didn't want to be the first person ever killed by a pair of lightchucks. "Oh... all right," Scrobi relented tentatively, his voice shaking with terror. The doltish Sith apprentice reached out slowly with one trembling hand, inching towards one of the glowing red beams on the workbench. Predictably, when he tried to wrap his hand around the beam the blade seared through his skin, cutting through more than half of his hand and taking the thumb off as well. "Ahh!" Scrobi yelped, waving the smoldering stump in the air. "My hand!" "You did it wrong, you idiot!" "I'm sorry, Master," Scrobi apologized. "How should I have done it?" "How should I know?" Dumbass asked indignantly. "You said it was obvious!" "No, I asked you if it was obvious! Don't start blaming this on me. It's not my fault you didn't think this through." "You did tell me to pick them up..." "Yes, I did. I told you to pick them up— not to cut your moron hand off. How are you ever going to kill your father if you can't even pick up a pair of lightchucks?" "But, Master, I don't want to kill my father..." "Oh, now you're just trying to piss me off." "Well what are we going to do about the lightchucks then?" Scrobi asked, hugging his pained arm against himself while his whisperkit sniffed at the severed fingers on the floor and opened its mouth in disgust. "Hmm... I have an idea," Dumbass lied. But then he actually had one. "I will go down to Calibon tomorrow and ask for volunteers to pick up the lightchucks. If anyone can figure out how, we'll learn how from them." "That's brilliant," Scrobi cooed, once again enamored with his master's genius. "Yes, I know. I hesitate to use the word foolproof around you, Scrobi, but I would think even you can see how perfect this plan is. Not a fault to be seen." So Darth Dumbass got to work on making a sign to be posted on the city bulletin. At first light he trotted down the mountain to Calibon with a piece of flimsi that he took to have a sign made of. This is what was scrawled on it and what was printed on a neon green sign on the town bulletin board: Attention citizens of Korona: Anyone who can skillfully handle my special nunchuck can become my new apprentice. Meet me at my secret lair on top of Mount Gloom if interested in wrapping your hands around it. —Lord Dumbass Everyone got the wrong idea. Even after Dumbass explained to the line of people who had shown up for their depraved motives, he still had to suffer their leering and lascivious smiles. Scrobi was also upset by the content of the advertisement Dumbass had published. "Your new apprentice?" He read sadly. "You're going to replace me, Master?" "No, no, of course not. That's just to entice them. If anyone can figure out how to handle the lightchucks, we will learn the secret and then team up to kill them." This was a lie, of course. If anyone knew how to successfully pick up the lightchucks, Dumbass planned to team up with the genius and kill Scrobi. Dumbass and Scrobi watched in disappointment on the top of Mount Gloom as person after person who had traveled from Calibon boldly attempted to pick up the mighty new weapon of the Sith and failed, cutting off their own hands and filling the sky with their wails. Each failure led to the hopeful contestant cradling their truncated arm and slowly stumbling down the mountain in shame as they sobbed. Lord Dumbass was devastated. The line of people dwindled and the pile of severed hands grew. It was clear that he had created a weapon so great, it was too powerful to be wielded by any being in the universe. He wasn't sure what to do with all the severed hands. He contemplated bundling them all up and space mailing them to Luke Skywalker as a way of showing him all the carnage the Sith Lord was capable of. But with the New Republic Postal Service having once again hiked up postage rates, he knew that it was unfeasible. He couldn't afford such an expense. Night settled on Mount Gloom and the last of the lecherous hopefuls made the journey down the mountainside with five fewer digits than he arrived with. Dumbass heaved a sigh of heavy disappointment and sauntered back in the cave, leaving Darth Scrobi to the chilly breeze and the handsome whisperkit he now affectionately called "Lord Morsel." When Dumbass reached the back of the cave, he found the shimmering spirit of his long-dead teacher waiting there for him, an obvious scowl of disapproval on his aged face. "Lord Mongrel, I don't understand what went wrong," Dumbass cried. "I went to Agamar as you suggested. I saw the Space Ninjas. I saw their mysterious weapon called 'nunchucks'... I did everything right. Why did it turn out so wrong?" "Why? Because you're a dumbass, Dumbass," Mongrel chastened. "I didn't send you there to make lightchucks, for Vader's sake. I sent you there to learn an ancient Space Ninja technique known as Aggressive Meditation." "Aggressive Meditation?" Dumbass repeated. "Maybe I can still learn it. I'll go back to Agamar and study it! I promise." "No, you can't! You killed them all, you stupid son of a Sith!" "Oh yeah," Dumbass groaned. "Well what should I do now?" "Just... Get out of my sight," Mongrel said disgustedly. "I need time to think— and you need time to learn how." Dumbass strolled out dejectedly, his head hanging as he tried to pinpoint exactly where everything went so wrong. "It was when you thought that making lightchucks was a great idea!" Mongrel called from behind, sensing Dumbass' thoughts and humiliating him further. A day passed and Dumbass hiked to the cave mouth after spending the night outside to find Scrobi feeding Lord Morsel from the cybernetic implant he'd gotten that morning as they sat next to the landing strut of the Z-95 Hughunter, the Sullustan's new hand seeming as useless to the Dark Lord of the Sith as the old one. "I'm sorry about everything, Master," Scrobi said meekly as Dumbass approached. "I feel like it was all my fault." "It was," Dumbass assured. "Lord Mongrel even said so." Scrobi hung his head. "What are we going to do now?" "Well, Skywalker and his Jedi may have won this round, but it won't happen again. I'm going to come up with a plan of attack even more brilliant than my lightchucks idea— you know, the one you screwed up?— and then the Jedi will know that the Sith have returned," he said confidently, making his hand into a fist. "And that we're even dimmer than we've ever been." -----signature----- FADA Therapist The Lands of the Dead: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28522077/p1/ Blood Trail: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28636429/p1 "We're Jedi, not assassins."— Anakin Solo
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oldjedinurse Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 9/6/06 4:17pm Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06) - Date Edited: 9/6/06 5:02pm (1 edits total) Edited By: oldjedinurse
	FIRST! "Why?" The conversation went on for hours. Just like a four-year-old. Why? Because. Why? Because. Dumbass had marched into the shop where Scrobi worked when he felt his dim presence in the Force. "I am the Sith Lord, Darth Dumbass. Have you heard of me?" He asked. "Yes, yes," Scrobi replied enthusiastically. "I have heard of you." Scrobi had heard of Dumbass, but it was only a moment ago when the Sith Lord had said his name. LOL! This is the moment when I started to laugh out loud. Scrobi had always felt different because he was stupid. He was the only other person in Calibon dumber than Darth Dumbass. Thud "Don't you want to rule the galaxy?" "I don't know..." Scrobi said timidly. "How can you not know? Wouldn't it be great to wield power over all you see?" "My whisperkit's name is 'Morsel'," Scrobi smiled. Make him crawl and serve you as he quivered at your every word?" "Oh, Mister Fan'ga can't crawl. He has bad knees," Scrobi explained. OMG! You are well-versed in “Idiot”. "Could you teach me how to make that syrup they have down at Eurni's House of Flatcakes?" "From this moment forth, your name will be Darth Maniacal." "My name is Scrobi," Scrobi explained…"Couldn't I be a Sith who reassures people with hugs?" It’s becoming more difficult all the time to decide which one of them is dumber. "He's on Yavin 4, you idiot. I've told you that a hundred times!" "No idea where to start," Dumbass repeated… Face plant "We couldn't possible part with a pair for less than one-hundred-and-thirty-five credits at the gift shop." Oh, very good! I love a little biting satire. …ballerina weapons… He would use it to start a fire in the cave when it got chilly, or to nuke a space burrito. Okay. My favorite line. Attention citizens of Korona: Anyone who can skillfully handle my special nunchuck can become my new apprentice. Meet me at my secret lair on top of Mount Gloom if interested in wrapping your hands around it. —Lord Dumbass Everyone got the wrong idea. ROTFLMAO!!! You are soooooooooooo bad. I love it! Night settled on Mount Gloom and the last of the lecherous hopefuls made the journey down the mountainside with five fewer digits than he arrived with. Why didn’t I see that coming? the handsome whisperkit he now affectionately called "Lord Morsel." "Well, Skywalker and his Jedi may have won this round, but it won't happen again. I'm going to come up with a plan of attack even more brilliant than my lightchucks idea— you know, the one you screwed up?— and then the Jedi will know that the Sith have returned," he said confidently, making his hand into a fist. "And that we're even dimmer than we've ever been." Oh! The humanity! I’ve known rocks smarter than these two! Yobi, this is great. Two guys who are so dumb you need to make up new words to describe their lack of intelligence. They just might qualify for IQ’s off the bottom of the scale. Can’t wait to see what trouble these two get themselves into next! Well done! oldj -----signature----- "I don't want to live in a world where I have to eat sugar-free sugar cookies." Ikkaku, Hosaka, Kawabata
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Spike2002 Title: FF-UK RSA Arena Manager Registered: Feb '02	Date Posted: 9/6/06 5:31pm Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06)
	YK, I have a kidney stone. You have just made it ten times worse than it was by making me laugh so much. [Maximus]I will have my revenge"[/Maximus] -----signature----- "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him." - Arthur C. Clarke I agree with halibut Master to Louis_Skywalker
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Thrawn McEwok Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: May '00	Date Posted: 9/6/06 6:04pm Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06)
	I agree with Spike: I have a chesty cough!! - The Imperial Ewok -----signature----- A/T = OTP "To write one Solo twin as an angstbunny, Master Skywalker, might be considered unfortunate. To write BOTH that way looks like carelessness."
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Healer_Leona Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 9/6/06 6:56pm Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06)
	"I don't know..." Scrobi mused. "Couldn't I be a Sith who reassures people with hugs?" That's my kind of sith!! Ahhh, I like the idea of lightchucks, thought training with them would be perilous as the wrong move might behead yourself. Hmm, okay Darth Scrobi showed just how bad they could be. LOL A most wonderful start. Might I inquire of PM inquire. -----signature----- Still crazy after all these years.
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jasa Registered: Feb '05	Date Posted: 9/6/06 7:28pm Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06)
	Omigod! Darth Dumbass? Siths that give hugs? This is wicked cool! -----signature----- J/J, J/TK, H/L, and L/M Senior year at American University!!! Job searches are fun! --Ambassador Taps
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YodaKenobi Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 9/7/06 1:42pm Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06)
	oldj: FIRST! w00t! Just like a four-year-old. Why? Because. Why? Because. Or two four year olds LOL! This is the moment when I started to laugh out loud. Yay. OMG! You are well-versed in “Idiot”. It comes from years of practice. It’s becoming more difficult all the time to decide which one of them is dumber. One of the many mysteries of the story. Oh, very good! I love a little biting satire. Well, maybe nibbling satire I'm not sure it was that sharp. Okay. My favorite line. Hehe. I liked that one too ROTFLMAO!!! You are soooooooooooo bad. I love it! What? Oh! The humanity! I’ve known rocks smarter than these two! Yobi, this is great. Two guys who are so dumb you need to make up new words to describe their lack of intelligence. They just might qualify for IQ’s off the bottom of the scale. I'm glad you're enjoying the stupidity Can’t wait to see what trouble these two get themselves into next! Well done! Thanks so much for reading this And again, for coming up with a great name like "Scrobi" Not sure how regularly this will be updated but I already have atleast 4 other adventures in mind for the dimwitted duo. Spike: YK, I have a kidney stone. Gah, I'm sorry to hear that. That is one of my biggest fears Good luck, man cries for what Spike has to go through You have just made it ten times worse than it was by making me laugh so much. In that case I'm extra sorry [Maximus]I will have my revenge"[/Maximus] ducks thrown telephones Thanks for reading! Thrawn: I agree with Spike: I have a chesty cough!! Maybe I should put that in the title. Something about this fic making the ill more feeble Thanks for reading Leona: That's my kind of sith!! LOL! Ahhh, I like the idea of lightchucks, thought training with them would be perilous as the wrong move might behead yourself. Hmm, okay Darth Scrobi showed just how bad they could be. LOL Yeah, I just can't see them ever working for some reason A most wonderful start. Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it Might I inquire of PM inquire. Sure thing jasa: Omigod! Darth Dumbass? Siths that give hugs? This is wicked cool! I'm glad you think so Thanks for reading -----signature----- FADA Therapist The Lands of the Dead: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28522077/p1/ Blood Trail: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28636429/p1 "We're Jedi, not assassins."— Anakin Solo
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THE_PIED_PIPER Title: Chapter Rep Knoxville, TN Registered: Jun '06	Date Posted: 9/8/06 11:44am Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06) - Date Edited: 9/8/06 11:50am (1 edits total) Edited By: THE_PIED_PIPER
	Very nice, Yobi. You have outdone yourself this time. During the whole story I was reminded of Cpt. Barbosa and his pirates. ~Piper -----signature----- "I'm going to be like Leia." - Me at age four "You're the Yen to my Yang." - My husband Roan Fel's badassery knows no bounds! Jagged Fel
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Whitey Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 9/8/06 6:25pm Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06)
	Jeez. Even your so-called "light" fics are long. I'll try to read this sometime this weekend. -----signature----- "I really didn't rub against his bicep? I mean, it had an elbow."
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rebel_cheese Registered: Jul '06	Date Posted: 9/8/06 8:25pm Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06) - Date Edited: 9/8/06 8:25pm (1 edits total) Edited By: rebel_cheese
	Okay, the title alone sucked me in . . . Darth Dumbass unleashed a violent stream of Force lightning from his fingertips, letting the forks of white and violet course through the surprised Space Ninja's as he laughed sadistically. Dumbass was mad for Force-lightning. He would use it to start a fire in the cave when it got chilly, or to nuke a space burrito. Okay, for some reason that part in particular cracked me up. Also, Space Ninjas! Oh God that was so stupid . . . yet so hilarious . . . "Behold!" Dumbass cried theatrically, unfurling a piece of flimsi on which he had diagramed the design for his mighty weapon. "I give you the weapon that will defeat Skywalker and his Jedi— Lightchucks!" All I can say is Man, that was the best one of all. Lightchucks . . . only you would think of that. Brilliant, Yobi. PM list, please. This is just too silly to ignore . . . Please tell me he fights Luke eventually and Luke makes mincemeat out of him. Or, better yet, Han. A nice little stupid/humor nugget to have inbetween morsels of dark popcorn adventure in the Age of Heroes. Nice. Overall, great job. I hope you keep this up. -----signature----- Padawan of princess_of_naboo E-married to the amazing padawanlost Member of Charon_Force Beginning's End: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28450077&brd=10477&replies=1
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YodaKenobi Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 9/11/06 3:46pm Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06)
	PIPER: Very nice, Yobi. You have outdone yourself this time. During the whole story I was reminded of Cpt. Barbosa and his pirates. Hehe, thanks I'm starting to think I'm the only person who hasn't seen the Pirates sequel Whitey: Jeez. Even your so-called "light" fics are long. I know, it's a compulsion I'll try to read this sometime this weekend. Thanks! rebel_cheese: Okay, the title alone sucked me in . . . It's easily the best title of any fic I've ever come up with Okay, for some reason that part in particular cracked me up. Also, Space Ninjas! Oh God that was so stupid . . . yet so hilarious . . . Thanks, that's what I was going for. For some reason I find putting the word "space" in front of something to make it "Star Wars" hilarious All I can say is Man, that was the best one of all. Lightchucks . . . only you would think of that. Well, me and Dumbass Brilliant, Yobi. PM list, please. This is just too silly to ignore . . . Thanks, I'm not sure how regularly this is going to be updated Maybe sometime next month. I'm working on several things right now. Please tell me he fights Luke eventually and Luke makes mincemeat out of him. Or, better yet, Han. Luke will eventually be involved in the storyline, yes A nice little stupid/humor nugget to have inbetween morsels of dark popcorn adventure in the Age of Heroes. Nice. Yeah, was nice to break up all the serious writing with something absurd for a few days Overall, great job. I hope you keep this up. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you very much -----signature----- FADA Therapist The Lands of the Dead: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28522077/p1/ Blood Trail: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28636429/p1 "We're Jedi, not assassins."— Anakin Solo
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Yodas-evil-twin Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 9/12/06 7:25pm Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06) - Date Edited: 9/12/06 7:27pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Yodas-evil-twin
	I have to say that you have a very good grasp of comedy, even a little of the absurdity that made The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy such a hoot. By the way, this Darth Dumbass wouldn't happen to be You-Know-Who? -----signature----- "Who watches the Watchmen?" "The JCC is pretty much Lord of the Flies without the healthy outdoorsy atmosphere." -soitscometothis
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SilSolo Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 9/12/06 9:12pm Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06)
	lol how did I manage to miss this? Very funny! -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27517284/p1/?11 Like this quick sketch: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/32848083/ ? Then commission me. Prices are negotiable.
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TKeira_Lea Registered: Oct '02	Date Posted: 9/13/06 5:07am Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06)
	Yobs, you are seriously warped, but I love you for it. Funny from start to finish. Thanks for the laughs. still wiping eyes Attention citizens of Korona: Anyone who can skillfully handle my special nunchuck can become my new apprentice. Meet me at my secret lair on top of Mount Gloom if interested in wrapping your hands around it. I hope I didn't read more into that than I was supposed to, but the dirty little mind...maybe it's coming to the wrong conclusion. -----signature----- http://www.lominalecantina.com character often lies in contradiction ~ jfostrander01 Wingman - a post LotF fic http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28548970/p1/?219
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jaynasolofel Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 9/13/06 7:56am Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06)
	--This is hilariously funny. A true wit. Don't miss the funniest fanfic of the season! Jacen Solo as Darth Dumbass is the casting coup of the millennia. Two sabers lit!- Rojr Egbirt, HNE Yobi, My favorite lines were about the gift shop, the post office and the Force lightening microwave oven. Thank you for a bunch of much needed laughter. And scr/obi is great - maybe he is the true mastermind behind his dubass, Master Dumbass . jaYna -----signature----- Marriage is not the end.... they have an Empire to build.
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YodaKenobi Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 9/14/06 4:10pm Subject: RE: Dim Lord of the Sith: The Chronicles of Darth Dumbass (Posted 9/6/06)
	evil-twin: I have to say that you have a very good grasp of comedy, even a little of the absurdity that made The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy such a hoot. Thanks I never saw/read Hitchhikers, unfortunately. Really glad you enjoyed the post By the way, this Darth Dumbass wouldn't happen to be You-Know-Who? Jacen? No, sorry Sil: lol how did I manage to miss this? Very funny! Thanks so much TKL: Yobs, you are seriously warped, Don't I know it. but I love you for it. Funny from start to finish. Thanks for the laughs. still wiping eyes Aww, thanks I'm really glad if I could make you laugh I hope I didn't read more into that than I was supposed to, but the dirty little mind...maybe it's coming to the wrong conclusion. Why, what did you think I mean? jayna: --This is hilariously funny. A true wit. Don't miss the funniest fanfic of the season! Jacen Solo as Darth Dumbass is the casting coup of the millennia. Two sabers lit!- Rojr Egbirt, HNE I wonder if I can fit that in my profile And it's not supposed to be Jacen Yobi, My favorite lines were about the gift shop, the post office and the Force lightening microwave oven. Thank you for a bunch of much needed laughter. And thank you for reading and finding it funny And scr/obi is great - maybe he is the true mastermind behind his dubass, Master Dumbass Scrobi is a genius in his own way We'll learn more about both characters as the story moves on Thanks again, everyone -----signature----- FADA Therapist The Lands of the Dead: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28522077/p1/ Blood Trail: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28636429/p1 "We're Jedi, not assassins."— Anakin Solo
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