Antilles2001 posted:"Tell me any reason not to ruin your fancy suit with ugly red blotches from your blood." I would have cut this done to just the red blotches--the added "your blood" points out what's already clear. Other than that, pretty spiffy stuff y'got there, Dave.
Antilles2001 posted:And a Gears of War reference, you sly fox.
Darth_Garak posted:Oooo. This is getting interesting. So who's the bothan (she doesn't care if the Brigader dies or not and she doesn't care if Ara dies or not so on who's side is she?).
VaderLVR64 posted:A wonderfully exciting chapter!
VaderLVR64 posted:REALLY love your OC here. She's incredibly well written, very complex and believable. Bravo!
RK_Striker_JK_5 posted:It's very original to edit the prologue into the post.
RK_Striker_JK_5 posted:I sense great excitement coming. Can't wait!
Antilles2001 posted:What happened there, boss?