Jedi Council Forums - When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Some Updates --- 9/19

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Author	Topic: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Some Updates --- 9/19
Antilles2001 Registered: Oct '01	Date Posted: 10/11/06 2:46pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many (sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos)*Updated 10/10
	"Tell me any reason not to ruin your fancy suit with ugly red blotches from your blood." I would have cut this done to just the red blotches--the added "your blood" points out what's already clear. Other than that, pretty spiffy stuff y'got there, Dave. And a Gears of War reference, you sly fox. -----signature----- I have defied gods and demons. I am your shield. I am your sword. I know you. Your past; your future. This is the way the world ends. Oly Oly Oxen Free - 2007
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Darth_Garak Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 10/12/06 5:21am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many (sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos)*Updated 10/10
	Oooo. This is getting interesting. So who's the bothan (she doesn't care if the Brigader dies or not and she doesn't care if Ara dies or not so on who's side is she?). -----signature----- Ib'tuur jatne tuur ash'ad kyr'amur. Holding the Line http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=25728489&brd=10475&start=27377934 Breakthrough http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27044667&brd=10475&start=27377928
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VaderLVR64 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 10/12/06 6:55am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many (sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos)*Updated 10/10
	A wonderfully exciting chapter! It's already open, di'kut, she thought, pushed the button to open the door, reached out as it opened and put the human into a tight stranglehold, her vibroblade millimeters from his throat, and closed the door again. "Woah," the apparently unarmed man said, with honest shock and surprise on his dark-skinned face. "Easy... you might—" "Don't push it, hut'uun," Ara said grimly. "Tell me any reason not to ruin your fancy suit with ugly red blotches from your blood." The man sounded more than uneasy now, after realizing the fierce woman was serious, after all. "Well, for starters, there's, um, nothing I can think about, apart from the fact that my short career as a bounty hunter's come to an end, at last. Still, before I cease to be, I'd like to hear what scumbag didn't have the guts to take on me personally and sent another hunter instead." That answer caught Ara more than off-guard, as well as the other's slightly sarcastic tone. "Bounty hunter? What in the Emperor's Black Heart are you talking about? You're not from the Peace Brigade?" REALLY love your OC here. She's incredibly well written, very complex and believable. Bravo! -----signature----- R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian Never forgotten Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 10/12/06 9:53am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many (sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos)*Updated 10/10
	Thanks for checking by, sdhfs, I'm glad you liked it. Antilles2001 posted: "Tell me any reason not to ruin your fancy suit with ugly red blotches from your blood." I would have cut this done to just the red blotches--the added "your blood" points out what's already clear. Other than that, pretty spiffy stuff y'got there, Dave. Mhh... I think it works the way I put it, too. And thanks, Mig! Antilles2001 posted: And a Gears of War reference, you sly fox. My Fenix is in no way like the GoW one, I just liked the name. Darth_Garak posted: Oooo. This is getting interesting. So who's the bothan (she doesn't care if the Brigader dies or not and she doesn't care if Ara dies or not so on who's side is she?). Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed it. And the Bothan's true nature will be revealed soon enough.... VaderLVR64 posted: A wonderfully exciting chapter! Thanks! Although it wasn't really a chapter...^^ VaderLVR64 posted: REALLY love your OC here. She's incredibly well written, very complex and believable. Bravo! Woah, thank you! One of the main things I wanted to improve in this new story was the OCs and their characters, and I'm really glad it worked! Because in Honor Guard, all "my" (even the canon ones I used there^^) characters shared some sort of pessimistic angle... The fourth part of the Prologue will be posted tomorrow, and the fifth and last part probably on Saturday. I actually never intended the Prologue to be so long, but inspiration for story/plot and other things just kept flooding in, so I decided to expand it, because I didn't want the Prologue and the first chapters to share the same event/scene. Oh, and everyone please check out the First Mandalorian Challenge here! This is YOUR chance to give the Mandos a go, in case you haven't done that before! -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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CeiranHarmony Registered: May '04	Date Posted: 10/12/06 10:34am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many (sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos)*Updated 10/10
	Ay Caramba.. that is great storytelling I love the style, characters, dialogue.. in short: WELL DONE, perfect I hope like with all your stories I can get a pdf version some time in the future? thx -----signature----- www.njoe.com (Govsec Author) "Less is more!" Union In Love with the Star Wars Atlas Dark Horse: Star Wars: Invasion (best idea ever!!!) My life is an Idiots Array, PURE SABBACC
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 10/13/06 6:40am Subject: When Few Stood Against Many [sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos] // Updated 10/13 \\
	Vor entye, Cer'ika! There will be a pdf version, of course. And, everyone check out the UPDATE! Part Four of the Prologue has been posted, although it is rather short. The next part will be the last one and close the Prologue, and I can start with the "actual" story. -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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Darth_Garak Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 10/13/06 9:44am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos] // Updated 10/13 \\
	And this is just the prologue....COOOLLLL. What in the name of the Force did Fenix do to get his wife that pissed of. I can't wait for the rest. This is superb. PS:A PDF version? Great, it'll make re-reading easier. -----signature----- Ib'tuur jatne tuur ash'ad kyr'amur. Holding the Line http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=25728489&brd=10475&start=27377934 Breakthrough http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27044667&brd=10475&start=27377928
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 10/14/06 2:41am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos] // Updated 10/13 \\
	Thank you, Garak, I'm glad you liked it! And, um, where are my other readers? -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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Ph0enix Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 10/15/06 8:30am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos] // Updated 10/13 \\
	Just finished part four... Very interesting so far! I loved the knife throwing part
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RK_Striker_JK_5 Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 10/15/06 4:30pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos] // Updated 10/13 \\
	It's very original to edit the prologue into the post. His ex-wife? Wow. No wodner he aimed for the neck. And good chewing-out by Ara, there! I sense great excitement coming. Can't wait! -----signature----- E-married to the wonderful DarthIshtar. Now also her Padawan. Member of the Y.J.K. Revolution Staring into the Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27537567/p1/?23
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 10/16/06 6:04am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos] // Updated 10/13 \\ - Date Edited: 10/16/06 6:09am (1 edits total) Edited By: Corran_Fett
	Thanks a bunch, Ph0enix and Striker RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: It's very original to edit the prologue into the post. Thanks... I dunno how that came to my mind, but I think the different parts are made to end like in a TV show before the ads, with a small cliffhanger every time... also, this way the readers don't have to wait weeks for the next part... but, as I said, this is exclusively in the Prologue, the Chapters will be posted as usual. RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: I sense great excitement coming. Can't wait! You won't be disappointed... or so I hope. Aaaand... where are my other readers? And hopefully some new ones, too? -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 10/16/06 6:06am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos] // Updated 10/13 \\ - Date Edited: 10/16/06 12:27pm (2 edits total) Edited By: Corran_Fett
	Damn. Please some mod delete this post? Thanks -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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Antilles2001 Registered: Oct '01	Date Posted: 10/16/06 11:54am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos] // Updated 10/13 \\
	What happened there, boss? -----signature----- I have defied gods and demons. I am your shield. I am your sword. I know you. Your past; your future. This is the way the world ends. Oly Oly Oxen Free - 2007
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 10/16/06 12:28pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos] // Updated 10/13 \\
	Antilles2001 posted: What happened there, boss? It's not the question what happened here, but rather what will happen to you.... Well, I just submitted my post twice, that's what happen, and I hope there happens to be some feedback from you, soon... -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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Kudzu Registered: Jun '05	Date Posted: 10/16/06 4:58pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [sequel to Honor Guard; OCs, NJO, Mandos] // Updated 10/13 \\
	Definitely shaping up to be good, Corran. The characters so far are very interesting...so the bounty hunter and the Bothan are having a bit of a post-nuptial throwdown, eh? And I wonder what side the Bothan is really on, here... -----signature----- Super Golden Ewok™ Recipient It should be the right of every American to go out and get wasted the day they're told that they're being sent to war. Ron Paul for U.S. President 2008
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