Jedi Council Forums - When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Some Updates --- 9/19

Jedi Council Forums » Fan Fiction » Beyond the Saga »

Post Reply | Active Topic Notification | Previous Active Topic | Next Active Topic

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 - Previous | Next | Reload

Author	Topic: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Some Updates --- 9/19
Quiet_Mandalorian Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 11/13/07 8:27am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] < Finally, Chapter IV! 11/1
	First response. Will post in detail later. -----signature----- The hour when death is like a light and blood is like a rose, You have never loved your friends, my friends, as I shall love my foes. G.K. Chesterton
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 11/13/07 8:45am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] < Finally, Chapter IV! 11/1
	You've got well crafted characters here! They're unique and complex. I like that. Very well done! -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
VIII Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 11/13/07 10:06am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] < Finally, Chapter IV! 11/1
	Very very good, and very action packed. I'm really looking forward to seeing how the story progresses. Ronan motioned Koban to hold it firm, and then he seized the jet-black hair, resting his knife on the pallid forehead. Although he had never taken a scalp before, Ronan managed to retrieve it with one brisk gash. Now That's just nasty.. -----signature----- Lord of Numbers. Follower of Waru -----signature----- High Inquisitor of the Disciples of Lumiya I see that your Schwartz is as big as mine.
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 11/14/07 10:52am Subject: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] < Finally, Chapter IV! 11/13 >
	Quiet_Mandalorian posted: Will post in detail later. Don't make promises you can't keep, ner vod. No, just kidding, I already know your thoughts on this, anyway. Thanks for the post, tho. VaderLVR64 posted: You've got well crafted characters here! They're unique and complex. I like that. Well, thanks, but if you're talking about this chapter specifically... did you read my statement atop of the chapter? Because Eclan Graven, Joras Navhett and Kaz Koban aren't my characters, they're far too complex to be of my crafting. No, but seriously, the only OC of mine with a role in this chapter is Ronan. VaderLVR64 posted: Very well done! Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and appreciate you taking the time to comment. VIII posted: Very very good, and very action packed. I'm really looking forward to seeing how the story progresses. Hey, first of all, great to have you back, mate! Thanks for the comment, I'm glad you liked it. And updates should be more regularly again, now, so keep an eye out. VIII posted: Now That's just nasty.. I hope it's not too nasty, but then again, this really is the gritty, seedy side of Star Wars. -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Kenobi_Kid Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 11/14/07 7:13pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] < Finally, Chapter IV! 11/1
	Well Corran_Fett, it seems you've finally devised a way to sucker me into your fic. As if whole bunches of Mandalorians fighting Vong weren't enough incentive, you had to use my own mando too, you clever di'kut. And now that I'm here I suppose I'll have to review the chapter eh? Seems only fair. theatrical grumble Well let's see. Tight narrative throughout? Check. Convincing tactical maneuveres and sniping action? Check. Excellent use of the Mandalorian helmet-comlinks? Check. Frenetic energy imbued in both of the Vong vs Mando duels? Check. Interesting reaction of a warrior father bent on avenging his son? Check. Concise technical information on weaponry and firing specifics? Check. Eclan Graven and Kaz Koban? Check. A dead-on perfect example of how Joras Nahvett interacts with others? As he looked up again, he could see Navhett in his shrill, fang-striped armor examining a long black-clad rifle with bayonet. "Nice piece o' work, ner vod. I seen a Mini-Tak version of this some time ago, pretty nasty firepower." His head was tilted and he was holding the weapon away from his body, as though admiring it—but without his facial expression, that was hard to tell. "And of course, it had a beautiful grenade launcher." Ronan didn't really know what to say, so he just took his EE-23 as the other handed it to him, giving a brief nod in thanks. Double Check. ~ In all seriousness I think it was great chapter Corran_Fett. Very vivid action, interlaced with dialogue and plot twists that seemd to naturally flow with both the action and the narrative. And all without losing track of our protaganist. Well done indeed. -----signature----- High Prophet of the Church of Kyle and loyal suitor of HIH Marasiah Fel Star Wars: Now with 100% more Lyle Waggoner! Lick enough wallpaper and eventually you will find the Snozzberry I have seen the enemy and he is you
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
RK_Striker_JK_5 Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 11/14/07 9:59pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] < Finally, Chapter IV! 11/1
	Gyah! Opened the PM and then it slipped my mind. Ronan, trust Eclan. He's one of the good guys. Some awesome action there. A shame the Mando's weapons weren't putting the Slayer down. Joras' vibroknives rock. For the short time they were out... Ronan's got good reasons for going 'low-tech'. Sometimes those bells and whistles are just too much. I love how both Mando and Vong are smart here. Ah, personal vengeance because of an outdated custom. I feel sorry for Altair. An awesome post, Corran. With an explosive-pun intended-finale. Can't wait for more! -----signature----- E-married to the wonderful DarthIshtar. Now also her Padawan. Member of the Y.J.K. Revolution Staring into the Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27537567/p1/?23
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 11/15/07 1:27pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] < Finally, Chapter IV! 11/1
	Kenobi_Kid posted: Well Corran_Fett, it seems you've finally devised a way to sucker me into your fic. As if whole bunches of Mandalorians fighting Vong weren't enough incentive, you had to use my own mando too, you clever di'kut. Yes, I am a brilliant tactician, am I not? Kenobi_Kid posted: Convincing tactical maneuveres and sniping action? Check. Gotta pay credit to Ray Ramirez for the latter part, here. He was a patient aide when I hosed him with questions related to sniping. Kenobi_Kid posted: Excellent use of the Mandalorian helmet-comlinks? Check. Cool to see you picked that part up. A lot of thought went into the setup of the comlink connection, because I didn't want names or plans being eaves-dropped. I had a much more confusing longer version before my current one, but then I dropped it for better understanding. Kenobi_Kid posted: Frenetic energy imbued in both of the Vong vs Mando duels? Check. Heh, vor'e. I wanted to put some more detailed descriptions of the fights in there, but the remote observer Ronan would not be able to follow each stab/blow/strike/kick anyway, so I only added details where Ronan's attention was really on it. Kenobi_Kid posted: Interesting reaction of a warrior father bent on avenging his son? Check. Yes, if Altair hadn't been dragged away, he'd have shot Gladus in the head to deal with the Slayer who killed his son himself. The "we could use a life one for examination" part was only a pretext for his revenge. Kenobi_Kid posted: Concise technical information on weaponry and firing specifics? Check. Kenobi_Kid posted: Eclan Graven and Kaz Koban? Check. That's the most important part, after all. Kenobi_Kid posted: A dead-on perfect example of how Joras Nahvett interacts with others? Double Check. Once again, I'm kinda baffled that I read your mind on the few scenes with Joras. I thought I'd get him and Eclan a very bad characterisation, and I was expecting to see a lot more edits. But Mandos like us are like-minded, it seems. Kenobi_Kid posted: In all seriousness I think it was great chapter Corran_Fett. Very vivid action, interlaced with dialogue and plot twists that seemd to naturally flow with both the action and the narrative. And all without losing track of our protaganist. Well done indeed. Vor entye, ner vod. Thanks for taking the time to stop by and giving me some neat feedback, I appreciate that a lot. RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: Ronan, trust Eclan. He's one of the good guys. Trust ain't earned easy. Especially not for a man with Ronan's past, but he at least can be sure enough that Ec doesn't backstab him, so there is some trust, after all. RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: Some awesome action there. A shame the Mando's weapons weren't putting the Slayer down. Yeah, but hey, have you ever dealt with regenerating skin before? RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: Joras' vibroknives rock. For the short time they were out... RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: Ronan's got good reasons for going 'low-tech'. Sometimes those bells and whistles are just too much. My thoughts exactly. Can't let the tech gain control over you. RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: I love how both Mando and Vong are smart here. I wanted to take a big step against my gun-fodder Vong in Honor Guard, and show that they really are rather tough foes as well. Believe me, if I was to rewrite Honor Guard, it would be less happy fireworks and cheesy characters, replaced by the more realistic and gritty feel I want to go with WFSAM here. RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: Ah, personal vengeance because of an outdated custom. I feel sorry for Altair. Yeah, we'll catch up on Altair in the next chapters. RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: An awesome post, Corran. With an explosive-pun intended-finale. Can't wait for more! Thanks a lot! I hope the wait for the next updates will be more bearable, and though we'll have a break in action, I want to keep up the quality of the last two chapter. I'll keep y'all posted. -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Jaina-Sticks-Fel Registered: Oct '07	Date Posted: 11/15/07 2:38pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] < Finally, Chapter IV! 11/1
	How the heck did I miss this story?! Wow. I'm really impressed. Please continue! oh, and please, please, PLEASE PM me! Thanks! J-S-F -----signature----- Crazy, insane, and loving it. "I hear voices.... and they don't like you." Dibbs on Jag "I see plot bunnies. And they're everywhere..."
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 11/20/07 3:05pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] < Finally, Chapter IV! 11/1
	Hey, J-S-F, thanks for dropping by! Sure thing with the PM, glad you like it all. -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Enyc_KadGoran Registered: Sep '07	Date Posted: 11/21/07 11:09am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] < Finally, Chapter IV! 11/1
	I already told Corran about it, but I thought it was AWESOME!!! And awesome to QM for making some sweet charries, too! Keep it up both of you, and add me to the PM list, please! -----signature----- Custom Mandalorian, Etyc Gor'kal: %50 Naasad'guur mhi, Naasad'guur mhi, Naasad'guur mhi, Mhi n'ulu. Mhi Mando'ade, Kandosii'ade, Te Manda'yaim, Mando'ade. Ba'jur, beskar'gam, aranov, aliit, Mando'a bal mand'alor, an ven'cuyan mhi.
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 1/24 1:08pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] < Finally, Chapter IV! 11/1
	Hey guys, it's been far too long again. Don't worry, the story will go on, I've just been off the grid lately, succumbed by Darth RL. I know, if you go by chapters, I'm far from the length of the sequel Honor Guard, but the word count has long exceeded it. I will finish this, it's just a question in what timeframe. Chapter V's halfway done, so bear with me... -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 2/6 3:17pm Subject: Chapter V - The Shape of Things to Come - Date Edited: 4/10 8:10am (2 edits total) Edited By: Corran_Fett
	Chapter V - The Shape of Things to Come Contruum - three hours later Ronan let his gaze drift through the cramped apartment. Sareth and Macos were dozing on the cold duracrete floor, while Ara was struggling to stay awake in a massive, uncomfortable-looking armchair by a long bed. Gladus was lying on it, no longer unconscious but in deep slumber. Shortly after they had reached the safe house—or safe apartment—which Rios had procured for them, the old blademaster had regained consciousness. But even though Graven's antivenin had worked, Gladus was in awful shape. The 2-1B unit that the GAI lieutenant had brought along had had to anesthetize Gladus again, in order to work on the numerous other wounds inflicted by the Slayer, especially the severed forearm. The diagnosis hadn't been good news. While not impossible, surgically reattaching the amputated limb would bear the danger of another infection, and Gladus might never be able to use his hand the same way again. Thus, he had to get a cybernetic hand prosthesis, but that would take time. And since they couldn't just decide on it for Gladus, Ronan and the others had to wait for him to recover. "Anything exciting from your little scouting trip?" Ara's strained voice broke the silence. Her weary eyes looked up to Ronan, and she couldn't stifle a long yawn. "All quiet and cozy," he answered, shrugged and finally stepped out of the door frame. "Not too surprising, this time of day." The door hissed shut behind him as he approached the kitchen. As he returned with a cup of hot stim team, he grabbed an empty chair and sat down in front of Ara. He took a few sips. "How's he coping with it?" he asked, nodding towards the adjacent room separated by a closed door. Jiriad was in there, with Skira's body. "He's a broken man. I'm not sure he'll ever recover from the loss," Ara said. "He was having big plans for Skira's future? Now his entire world has collapsed." "Aye... He waited so long with Skira's verd'goten because he wanted to make sure the young man was able to protect his little daughter and his mother from any threat, especially in these desperate times. Altair didn't take him along to Raxus Prime for no good reason. He taught Skira to fight harder than many a grown man. He showed that back at the Open Palm. And then the vongese come and commit the most hut'uunla action I've ever witnessed." Ronan paused, taking a long draft from the steaming tea, gazing into the distance. "Saying that I feel with Altair doesn't even get close to it...." Silence ruled for the next few minutes, apart from sporadic snores coming from the dormant men on the floor, and the constant hum of electronics and of the idle 2-1B droid. After a while, Ara leaned forward but kept on looking down. "It'll take a while before he's ready to tell Scotah." Scotah Nakoyr—Jiriad's wife and a second cousin of Ronan's—was at their home in Keldabe with their seven-year-old daughter, Zoja. The skilled mechanic ran a small workshop for repairing and upgrading speeders, speeder bikes and swoops, in the same building as her husband's smithy. She would take the news as hard as him, mainly out of compassion with him, as he had always had the closer bond to their adopted son. Ever so slowly, the loss was getting to Ronan as well. The fatigue from the battle and the exhausting aftereffects of the adrenaline had only done so much to dampen his emotions. Altair's family was the closest thing to a family Ronan had himself. The Jiriad kids called him Ron'vodu—uncle Ronan—an expression especially Skira had been using frequently. Their relation could have been closer, but even from the best friends Ronan tried to stay emotionally detached, a tragic habit he had to thank his time in ShenCresh Ops for—too many brothers-in-arms, closest of friends, had he lost then. But it always got to him. First Dubrillion, and now this. He could feel that another chunk of his soul had been ripped from deep out of his chest, a void that never ceased growing. The agony was not nearly physical, it was physical. It hurt. Ronan raised his head, weary. Ara had eventually dozed off. He envied her. He was incredibly tired, more exhausted than he should have been, but there was no chance he could find sleep. Not in this state. He had to suppress a groan as he rose from the chair. The tailbone he had crashed on earlier today was making itself felt. Ronan ignored the pain and set his cup on a low table. His hands were trembling, slightly. As he walked towards the 2-1B unit, the droid awoke from standby and turned to him, the sad expression on his durasteel face illuminated by dim yellow photoreceptors. They should've gone for a less gaunt, skull-like face. It doesn't really help the sick when they're presented with such a creepy-looking droid when they wake up. "Ah, Master Barec," the medical unit announced, "I've been waiting to talk to you alone. Your friend here has a really unique physiology." That might have gotten his interest at another hour, but now he just replied with an incurious "Uhuh...." "For his considerable skills in swordfighting, and the agility required for that, Master Tite has a physique too sturdy and muscular. I have taken various blood and DNA tests on him." The droid took a little overly dramatic break. "I detected traces of Nagai blood, possibly third generation. One of his great-grandparents must have been a full-blooded Nagai." Now that got Ronan's interest. "At least that'd explain his affinity for knives and blades... But shab, what the osik does that have to do with your therapy? You're supposed to make him ready to fight again, not conduct DNA tests to trace his kriffing bloodline." The 2-1B raised an arm in defense, a treat far too human for Ronan's liking. "Master Barec, I merely—" "Better hope you haven't told anyone but me about this. Otherwise I'll make sure that nothing but a heap of scrap metal will be left of you after you've finished treating him. I can't have the GA gathering personal data of my men. Shab, you aren't even supposed to know his full name, let alone his fighting preferences." "My apologies, sir," the droid offered. "Lieutenant Rios supplied me with a full GA database file of Gladus Tite, to give him the best treatment possible under consideration of his medical history. I must say, the record is immensely incomplete, but that isn't totally surprising due to his... special background. But there was a mention of unnatural abilities for his physiology, so I conducted a few tests to complete the file. It is only for the benefit of Master Tite." Ronan grimaced. He would bet his modified Firespray that before a certain Mandalorian slicer had paid Gladus's record sheet a visit, the file must have featured an immensely vast amount of data. Without the asylum Ronan had granted Gladus not even a half-year ago, the face of the former assassin would still be on dozens—if not hundreds—of wanted lists throughout the galaxy. He shook his head. He couldn't say he was a fan of the Galactic Alliance, and although Rios seemed nice enough, there was definitely a memory wipe in order for the prying—or spying—2-1B. But that had to wait until it got Gladus back to his feet. For now, Ronan would keep that little detail about Gladus a secret. The Nagai had been both enemies and allies of the Mandalorians at a time—but then again, who hasn't? The former commando didn't owe the 2-1B unit a reply, although the surgical droid appeared to be expecting one. He left it for good, striding away from Gladus's improvised sickbed. The first thing Ronan glimpsed as he gently pushed open the door into the small adjacent room, was a long table under the only window, on which lay the covered body of Skira. Jiriad was sitting on a chair, the torso of his own vonduun-crab armor imitation in hand—he had donned the rest of it again. He didn't look up as Ronan walked in and seated himself. The armorsmith removed a small plate from his flak vest, a dark object which he put onto the couch and picked up a smaller, similar-shaped white piece instead. Ronan knew right away what the fellow Mandalorian was doing. Jiriad had taken the center piece of Skira's white breastplates, commonly called the chest diamond, to replace his own by it. It was common Mandalorian tradition to take armor pieces of fallen loved ones or close friends, and carry them as symbols of remembrance, keepsakes that ensured the fallen one was never forgotten. Some Mandalorians had whole patchwork armors due to that tradition, while others just kept the tokens at their homes, in their ships, or carried them along in pouches. In Jiriad's case, it was the diamond, the armor piece with the probably most sentimental value, as it was closest to the heart. Ronan's hand involuntarily went to his artistic belt buckle. It bore the intricate crest of the Jatt family, the Devaronian family where Mandalorian tactician Trynic Jatt had come from. Ronan had removed the buckle from Jatt's weapon belt before leaving his corpse to the flames on one of the many pyres over the battlefield on Dubrillion. He had lost a great friend and comrade there, and keeping a symbolic item like that was the best way to honor him. Detaching himself from his reveries, Ronan glanced back at the armorer. Jiriad had since fastened Skira's diamond piece to his own armor, and hauled the spiked and armored flak vest over his thick dreadlocks. The white center piece looked too small in comparison to the rest of his abstract torso protection. With only fifteen years, Skira hadn't been fully grown, yet, and his armor had still been nothing but a temporary duraplast protection. Finally, Jiriad met Ronan's eyes. Ronan gave him the most encouraging nod he could. Suddenly, the sniper felt he shouldn't have interrupted this utterly intimate and personal ceremony. But the Kiffar didn't seem bothered, and maybe he appreciated the company. The Mandalorian father went over to his son and pulled down the blankets to the waist. It didn't shock Ronan to see that the smith hadn't cleaned up the corpse. Skira's clothing was covered by mud and dirt, dried splashes of blood—black and red—on his face. The sweat from the fights still glued his hair to the forehead. Jiriad had his own chest diamond in hand, and as he was placing it on his son's armor, Ronan got up and stood next to his friend. When Altair was done, he knelt down and placed both hands on Skira's chest, one over another. Ronan put his right on the Kiffar's shoulder. "Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar Darasuum, Skira," Jiriad recited in slow and measured words. I'm still alive, you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal. By reciting this daily, Altair committed himself to immortalizing his son. It was a straightforward ritual—Mandalorians never wasted many words, and a fellow Mando'ad would always understand the spiritual value. They remained in their position for a while, before Jiriad eventually got back on his feet. His tanned face no longer showed traces of tears, and as their glances met, Ronan caught glimpses of reignited flames in Altair's dark brown eyes. "If you want a time out," Ronan offered, face to face with him, "spend some time with your family back home, don't let anyone keep you, ner vod. I might even come with you, shab...." "No," came Jiriad's brief but determined reply. "Zoja and Scotah will not be safe before every single vongyc hut'uun in this galaxy is dead. I can't protect them sitting on my butts in Keldabe, waiting for it to solve itself." Ronan wasn't able to find words. The loss of a lost one could change you forever, and if Jiriad's way to deal with it was to go for vengeance, it was his call. Everyone who couldn't accept that it was an utmost personal thing could not be considered a friend. And Ronan did accept it. Not only because Altair was his friend, but because he had been on the brink to do the same thing more than once himself. Revenge was a powerful thing, it took a lot of character strength not to be controlled by it. Ronan didn't trust himself to have that strength, but as far as he could judge, Altair Jiriad did. He gave him a brisk but measured nod, one that conveyed far more than approval and support. They kept their eyes locked for several more seconds before Ronan knelt down before Skira as well, reciting the same words his father had. The sniper was still on his knees as the door was gently pushed open and Ara entered. She hesitated for a moment, and then said, "Gladus is awake." Less than a minute later, the three had gathered around the injured swordsman's bed. "Fierfek," Gladus mumbled with an even raspier voice than usual. He was moving the stump of his forearm through the air, his eyes fixed on it. The 2-1B unit didn't stop him. "That sensitive heap of scrap just broke me the news." The droid was standing next to the bench, the ever inculpable face gazing from patient to visitors. "We're sorry, Gladus," Ara started, "but seems there's no other way to—" "Spare me your pity," the scarred and bearded ex-assassin interrupted her, shaking his head slowly. He didn't nearly seem as drained or weary as Ronan would have expected him to be. "I'm not fretting about it—it just annoys me that I have to go through the whole procedure again." Ara exchanged a baffled glance with Ronan. "Come again?" "That blasted scarbutt could've just as well hit two inches to the left. Then my old synthetic hand could be replaced with a new one, easy job when all the neural synapses already exist." He paused, realizing that his explanation hit on a wall of perplexity from the others. "What, didn't tinheadie tell ya? The majority of my cut-off hand was already cybernetic, that's why I chose to use it as a blocker for the Slayer's attack in the first place. Trouble is, I missed and he hit flesh and bone instead of metal and circuits. Talk about irony. But it allowed me to go for his head, and that one worked out quite nicely." "Oh," Ara and Ronan exclaimed simultaneously. His secrets don't stop there, Ronan mused. Jiriad was standing passively next to them, not paying real attention. Gladus noticed. "How's it going, big fella?" he addressed the Kiffar. "I did what I could to give that karking coward of a crab-boy what he deserved. It's an awful way to die, and I'm sorry for your loss, ner vod." That was probably the first time Ronan heard Gladus use a Mando'a word. Never thought that cold-blooded killer could be sentimental. "Reminds me...." Ronan said and fetched a cloth bag from the table. He retrieved the coufee, the severed forearm and the scalp of the Slayer, and showed the objects to Gladus and Jiriad. "These are yours, Gladus." The former assassin eyed the items, slightly startled. "Give the scalp to Altair, I owe him at least that much after stealing his kill. I'd have left the Slayer in one piece if there was a possibility, but there's only so much we can do about an unknown enemy. Just give me that dagger, and do whatever you feel like with the forearm. I sure don't want it replacing mine." Ronan laid the coufee and the severed limb on the bed, but as he wanted to hand the scalp over to the dreadlocked Mandalorian, Jiriad refused with a lifted hand. "It's your rightful kill, Gladus, one that tells of great skill," he said. "You made sure that Skira's death wasn't in vain, and I would never have bested that... creature myself. I'm in your debt, ner vod." He's coping with the loss all right, Ronan thought, a little shocked. It takes quite some to talk about such a loss so soon, and straightforward at that. While Altair had never lost a loved one before, he was dealing with it exceptionally well. Ronan just hoped for his friend that he didn't simply pretend to be "fine". He spotted the hint of a nod, a lopsided smirk from Gladus to Jiriad, who had since found a seat on Ara's armchair by the bed. "Your call," the blademaster started, "ju—" "Apologies, Masters," the 2-1B interrupted. "I see this is a happy reunion, but you're still my patient, Master Tite, and we will need to get you to a medical station in order to work on your synthetic forearm." Ronan laid the scalp next to the other Slayer items and closed in two steps on the med droid. "Medical station?" he demanded, his voice pure ice. "As in 'medcenter'? No way, tinnie. Gladus stays right where we can see what you're doing to him. That's nowhere but here." The droid didn't respond for a while, and due to its lack of facial expressions, it was hard to tell what was going on in its logic circuits. Then it looked down, and up again. "All right. If you can spend another day to wait for it, it's not for me to decide. Bringing him to a medcenter, however, would speed up the whole issue tremendously." Nice way to end the argument with another argument. Stupid droids... "It's all right, Ronan," Gladus said. "I'm a big fella now, I can look after myself. I'm only slowing you down, anyway, and it's merely a hand." He motioned to the 2-1B. "Get started." The med droid gave Ronan another glance, then it attended to the necessary preparations. "Hmm... still, somebody needs to go with you," Ronan muttered. "Ara, can you wake up Sareth?" She complied and approached the two dormant men on the floor. "So, what's the next step of action?" Jiriad inquired with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Apart from—" A loud curse from Ara interrupted him, and he and Ronan spun their heads around. "Osik," she grumbled. "Y'see that?" She was pointing at a heap of cloth, bags, vests and other things Sareth and Macos had tossed to the floor before going to sleep. The heap was quaking, as though a living thing was moving or trembling beneath it. Ara started to rummage through the medley while Ronan and Altair were approaching. "What is it?" Ronan began, but then he saw it. Ara had pulled out a head-shaped object from one of the bags, and stripped away the cloth it was wrapped in. A meaty, brain-like object with short tendrils at the bottom, and it was vibrating heavily. It was unmistakable—it was a villip, a Yuuzhan Vong biot used for long-range communication. Ara cast the living piece of technology back into the heap and drew her weapon, a long and elegant Bluebolt blaster. Ronan just about managed to jerk her arm away before she could release a shot. "No!" he roared. "It may still be of use. They won't know we found it unless we respond." He paused, aware of Ara scowling at him, panting. "Whose bag is it?" She forcefully freed herself from Ronan's grip and, instead of holstering her blaster again and responding, she stood up and went over to Fenix. The weapon gripped with both hands, she aimed at the sleeping man's face. "Don't kid yourself, Ara," Ronan said. "That's not his bag." Ara swirled around, fire in her glassy eyes. Reluctantly, she lowered the blaster, bringing the aim to bear on the head of Sareth. The head of her husband. With ice in her voice, she spoke hoarsely, giving the sleeping man a kick with her boot. "Rise and shine, you hut'uunla piece of osik." ***** Yuuzhan Vong warship UNDYING AGONY, space The membrane of the door hadn't even fully contracted when Tzekon Lian stormed right through it, holding a stiffened amphistaff with both hands. A low-ranked officer was sitting in front of a wide assembly of villips. "Face me!" Lian ordered with a bark. The young Yuuzhan Vong's head spun around. "There is a reason we agreed with our informant that only he contact us, not the other way round. Us raising him on the villip would bear the danger of blowing his cover." The comm officer didn't even get the chance to open his mouth. The living serpentine weapon nearly effortlessly penetrated a gap between two rips and first pierced a lung and then his heart, before it came out of his back again, like a lance jabbed through a training ragdoll. "Let us pray to the gods that you just didn't compromise it all." To be continued.... P.S. By TFN standards, this now is officially an epic.... I'm over 30,000 words. EDIT: For the Halo fan in everyone... this is Post No. 117! -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
RK_Striker_JK_5 Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 2/6 9:35pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter V --- 2/6
	Dealing with the aftermath of Skira's death. I commend you for that. A lot of other authors would gloss over it. Nice work, there. And hmm... not too smart by the Yuuzies, there. Congrats on the epic status, too. -----signature----- E-married to the wonderful DarthIshtar. Now also her Padawan. Member of the Y.J.K. Revolution Staring into the Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27537567/p1/?23
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 2/7 9:34am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter V --- 2/6
	I LOVE the rich, complicated tapestry of this story. You've woven a whole world for us to explore as we read. Ronan knew right away what the fellow Mandalorian was doing. Jiriad had taken the center piece of Skira's white breastplates, commonly called the chest diamond, to replace his own by it. It was common Mandalorian tradition to take armor pieces of fallen loved ones or close friends, and carry them as symbols of remembrance, keepsakes that ensured the fallen one was never forgotten. Some Mandalorians had whole patchwork armors due to that tradition, while others just kept the tokens at their homes, in their ships, or carried them along in pockets. In Jiriad's case, it was the diamond, the armor piece with the probably most sentimental value, as it was closest to the heart. Ronan's hand went involuntarily to his artistic belt buckle. It bore the intricate crest of the Jatt family, the Devaronian family where Mandalorian tactician Trynic Jatt had come from. Ronan had removed the buckle from Jatt's weapon belt before leaving his corpse to the flames on one of the many pyres over the battlefield on Dubrillion. He had lost a great friend and comrade there, and keeping a symbolic item like that was the best way to honor him. Beautiful! -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 2/8 2:51am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter V --- 2/6 - Date Edited: 2/8 1:25pm (2 edits total) Edited By: Corran_Fett
	RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: Dealing with the aftermath of Skira's death. I commend you for that. A lot of other authors would gloss over it. Nice work, there. Thanks. I was having a little doubts if I handled it properly, glad it worked. RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: And hmm... not too smart by the Yuuzies, there. Well, they're only hu--no, they're not human, but they make mistakes, everyone does. RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: Congrats on the epic status, too. Thanks for reading and commenting, glad you enjoyed it. VaderLVR64 posted: I LOVE the rich, complicated tapestry of this story. You've woven a whole world for us to explore as we read. That's great to hear! Thanks a lot, this comment kinda made my day. I'm glad I was able to drag you into my own little universe... VaderLVR64 posted: Beautiful! Well, I try. Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it. EDIT: Oh, and here's a little something: Whoever manages to identify who's who on the cover gets a cookiee. -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 - Previous | Next | Reload

Jedi Council Forums » Fan Fiction » Beyond the Saga »