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Author	Topic: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Some Updates --- 9/19
Kenobi_Kid Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 2/8/08 6:46pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter V --- 2/6
	Who? The actors or the characters? In either case, I'm betting that we're seeing Jiriad, Ronan, Ara, Gladus and perhaps Fenix? At any rate, I recognize Jason Momoa, and I think that those are Clive Owen and Vin Diesel at the top and side. As for the chapter, I'm impressed. Ronan's moving between Jiriad and Gladus, the contrast in the mourning, such as it is, for Skira and the awakening of Gladus is stark and moving. Death and life together. The revelations about Gladus, his apperant Nagai blood and his cybernetic arm are intriguing. I truly loved his off-kilter reaction to finding that he had lost only a tiny amount of his actual arm, and the other characters reaction to that. I'm guessing that the Coufee knife will be added to Gladus's armory? Anyway's the villip scene came as something of a shock, but I admit I haven't really been reading too closely until the last chapter. Maybe I missed some clues earlier about Sareth, but as I said the scene had shock value. I'm guessing our heroes next course of action is head out and kick some vongyc butt? -----signature----- High Prophet of the Church of Kyle and loyal suitor of HIH Marasiah Fel Star Wars: Now with 100% more Lyle Waggoner! Lick enough wallpaper and eventually you will find the Snozzberry I have seen the enemy and he is you
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 2/12/08 10:11am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter V --- 2/6
	Kenobi_Kid posted: Who? The actors or the characters? In either case, I'm betting that we're seeing Jiriad, Ronan, Ara, Gladus and perhaps Fenix? At any rate, I recognize Jason Momoa, and I think that those are Clive Owen and Vin Diesel at the top and side. Good guess. It's Ronan (Clive Owen), Altair Jiriad (Jason Momoa), Ara (Lena Headey - from the Sarah Connor Chronicles cool ), Fenix (Rockmond Dunbar, from Prison Break) and Gladus, who's the only one without an actor's likeness - he's from the game Kane and Lynch, but there are some Gary Oldman, Jason Statham and Ray Stevenson influences. Kenobi_Kid posted: As for the chapter, I'm impressed. Ronan's moving between Jiriad and Gladus, the contrast in the mourning, such as it is, for Skira and the awakening of Gladus is stark and moving. Death and life together. Vor'e. Actually, that's an aspect I didn't even consider. But it's good to see some interpretation going on, that means that I can at least make people care for the characters and the plot. Kenobi_Kid posted: The revelations about Gladus, his apperant Nagai blood and his cybernetic arm are intriguing. I truly loved his off-kilter reaction to finding that he had lost only a tiny amount of his actual arm, and the other characters reaction to that. Thanks, I'm glad to see it worked. I wanted to add a little mystery to this already shady character. Kenobi_Kid posted: I'm guessing that the Coufee knife will be added to Gladus's armory? Yeah, that's the plan. These Mandos and their trophy taking. Kenobi_Kid posted: Anyway's the villip scene came as something of a shock, but I admit I haven't really been reading too closely until the last chapter. Maybe I missed some clues earlier about Sareth, but as I said the scene had shock value. Well, yes, perhaps, thanks to the loooong waits between the chapters, it also was a surprise for the others, because they simply might've forgotten about these very few hints. I shoulda made Sareth more than just a supporting character to give that scene more depth, probably, but I just wanted to get things going. I just had this idea of how to get ahead with the story and the plot, and made a bit of a rash decision, perhaps. Anyway, I dunno whether you've read the first few chapters before the Ec cameo, so maybe that's another reason. Kenobi_Kid posted: I'm guessing our heroes next course of action is head out and kick some vongyc butt? Surely, in one way or another.... Sooo... where is everyone? Have I made the waits too long? -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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Darth_Garak Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 2/16/08 5:31am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter V --- 2/6
	Ok so I finally got around to giving you a feedback, blame Darth RL for this (I know I am). I remember that Skira's death saddened me when I read it and I'm glad to see that you followed up on it. The pain they are feeling is very nicely described. Seeing Jiriad with his dead son was really moving, I can only guess what pain he must feel. (Why is copy/paste refusing to work? Great....) So I'm not the only one who thinks 2-1B are grim looking. Gladus has Nagai blood and a cybernetic hand? Interesting, I guess that explains why he risked his hand like that...how ironic. Sareth is a traitor? Ok, if you did drop clues I guess I missed them...I think I need a better helmet, Great chapter, can't wait for the next one. Congrats on reaching epic status. Keep up the great work. -----signature----- Ib'tuur jatne tuur ash'ad kyr'amur. Holding the Line http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=25728489&brd=10475&start=27377934 Breakthrough http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27044667&brd=10475&start=27377928
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 4/6/08 5:38am Subject: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- NEW ARTWORKS
	Damn, I thought I already had replied to your feedback. Darth_Garak posted: I remember that Skira's death saddened me when I read it and I'm glad to see that you followed up on it. The pain they are feeling is very nicely described. Seeing Jiriad with his dead son was really moving, I can only guess what pain he must feel. Glad it worked, I feared that the emotions didn't come across properly, so I put my back into it and wrote in a different "genre" than I do usually. So it's great to see it had the desired impact. Darth_Garak posted: So I'm not the only one who thinks 2-1B are grim looking. Yeah, I always thought what sadistic moron approved of the design choice. Darth_Garak posted: Gladus has Nagai blood and a cybernetic hand? Interesting, I guess that explains why he risked his hand like that...how ironic. Hehe, yeah. Originally, I planned to write the scene where he loses the hand, but that didn't work with Ronan's POV, really. But I think from the way it's written now, readers should be able to gather how he sacrificed his hand to get an opening to decapitate the Slayer. As for the Nagai blood.... Darth_Garak posted: Sareth is a traitor? Ok, if you did drop clues I guess I missed them...I think I need a better helmet, Yes, in retrospective, I should have given him a bigger role. But it just didn't work, I already had a very big cast (maybe too big) of detailed main characters, and adding another major player would have been overkill. Still, with the next chapter, I hope the impact of his betrayal will be clearer. Darth_Garak posted: Great chapter, can't wait for the next one. Congrats on reaching epic status. Keep up the great work. Vor'e. I'm trying. That said, I'm sorry that it's been two months again. RL has had me pinned down, and I didn't even get the time to post art-related updates here. The fan-artist ragelion, who has an amazing style and lots of great SW fanart (check out his gallery!), presented me with an artwork of Ayden Stone, based on the one Kuk-Man did of him. I was blown away, to put it quite frankly: http://ragelion.deviantart.com/art/Ayden-Stone-76892791 I immediately sat down to color this beauty, but I wasn't alone. Comic-book colorist dcjosh also did a version, here they are: In further news, the great Mando artist commander-13 did two requested sketches of Ronan during his special forces time in ShenCresh Ops. I still gotta color them, but they look kandosii nonetheless: A lot of thanks goes to these artists for they work they put into this, and for supporting my humble little fanfiction universe. For all the readers who want to keep track of the art around Rage of the Shadow Warriors, I have journal entry on DeviantArt that is always up-to-date: http://corranfett.deviantart.com/journal/16735502/ Also, keep an eye out on my Wiki-style articles for characters and gear from RotSW, indexed here. One of the recent changes is about Ronan's backstory: with Revelation, his birth-planet Shogun was pretty much removed from canon, so I changed that. He's now from the remote city of Shirok, Mandalore, and joined the local police, later it's specforce branch ShenCresh Ops. I also gave Ayden Stone a full backstory, now. That should be it in terms of current news, I think. DarthKuk's and my project on Ronan and his current beskar'gam and gear is proceeding pretty well, we should be able to present you with some results in a few weeks. Unless anything goes wrong, the new chapter should be posted later today. -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 4/6/08 7:49am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter VI --- 4/6
	Sorry for triple post, but the board is playing crazy and doesn't let me post my long chapter. -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 4/6/08 8:14am Subject: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter VI --- 4/6
	(sorry for the lack of markup on Mando'a words, I always get an error otherwise) Chapter VI - Torn Forward cargo hold, assault shuttle MILODON: en route to staging point somewhere outside Gyndine system The blow knocked all air out of him as he was spun around and swirled down. He just about managed to get his arms up in protection as he crash-landed on the deck, hard. Enraged, he struggled back to his feet and faced his opponent, breathing rabidly. For a Mandalorian, a bolo-ball match, even a training session, was war. Ayden Stone danced around a little on the spot, like a boxer skipping to warm up, and glanced over the shoulder at his Noghri teammate. They were playing a two-on-two match, and Atross, the sturdy Togorian, just had charged into Stone, shoulders first, breaking the defense to score a goal with the ball. "Wait for it," came Fell Tagren's scornful shout. He played in Atross's team, and was making a pause Ayden's reply. But nothing came. "Hah, so the grand 'Rockfall' finally admits it," Tagren continued. "He's only the champ as long as he's playing in the 'human league'." Glancing at the few spectators, he grinned nonchalantly. Ayden shook his head in quiet amusement. "Look who's talking," he said. His team had lost, all right, but the others had only won thanks to Atross; Tagren had contributed next to nothing to their victory. "Kay, looks like this round's going to you," Ayden resumed with a sarcastic grimace. "I'm out for today, the rematch's gotta wait." "There goes the champion...." Tagren chuckled, but accompanied Stone to the bench. Atross and Kharritokh, the Noghri, both shrugged and stayed in the makeshift arena. The forward hold didn't really offer the space needed for a bolo-ball game, but nobody cared as long as they had a good amount of fun playing. Ayden nearly emptied a water bottle thirstily and splashed the rest over his face. Enjoying the cooling effect, he leaned back on the bench. Tagren sat down next to him. "No, well played, ner vod," he said less aloud. "Good thing that Togorians loathe this sport. Otherwise they'd be galactic champions. How'd you get Atross to play with us in the first place?" Stone shrugged. "Guess he realized it was the quickest way to get some space for this." He nodded towards the two nonhumans. Still in nothing more than unprotected jumpsuits, the two had since prepared for another kind of training. Atross was casually twirling a short wooden stick in his hands, waiting for Kharritokh to finish wrapping his wrists. For any stranger, this would look like a fight with more than uneven odds. But Ayden knew better. The Noghri and the Togorian were an exceptionally well-rehearsed two-man team, perfect partners not only in battle. With at least four heads difference in height, and even a larger gap in body mass, they were an unlikely team, but they were complementing one another like no other. You can't wish for better training circumstances, Ayden pondered. What better way to learn the advantages and disadvantages of fighting a differently sized opponent than this? It reminded him of a childhood tale of the Ewok and the Gorax, and how the young Ewok eventually managed to best and defeat the giant beast with nothing but a primitive slingshot. And Kharritokh was still the best fighter in unarmed combat he knew. Ayden had seen the two train before on several occasions, they varied gear and armament each time, and the Noghri had defeated his tall companion in the majority of the fights. As he broke free from his reveries, Ayden saw that they had already started. Atross was going for Kharritokh's torso in a long swing with the stick, but the Noghri dodged in a roll and came out of it feet first, ramming them into Atross's shins. The Togorian's legs buckled, but he managed to keep his balance. Atross feinted to swirl around, what Kharritokh instinctively responded to with another roll. He was barely back on his feet when the stick connected with the hollows of his knees, and he toppled over. Even from the distance, Ayden could hear the Noghri exhale sharply as his back hit the floor. But Kharritokh didn't back down. He whirled to the side instead, avoiding a follow-up strike from the stick, and jumped back to his feet, coming up inside the Togorian's reach. Unable to use his weapon, Atross withdrew a few steps to bring his left down on the Noghri's face, but the short martial artist was faster. He rammed his shoulder into Atross's thighs, and from what Ayden could tell, the Noghri probably put his entire bodyweight behind the charge. The instant the Togorian's balance began to waver, the Noghri stepped to his opponent's side, and accelerated his fall by kicking a foot into Atross's shin and bringing down both elbows on his back. Atross fell like a tree trunk, and with a thump his large body thudded onto the deck. He roared rabidly, but Kharritokh didn't give him a chance to get up again. The Noghri was on his back, one hand pressing down the furred head while the sharp claws of the other hand hovered millimeters away from Atross's throat. Ayden was once again amazed at Kharritokh's speed. The whole training fight had been over in a matter of seconds, and had it been a real fight, Atross would be dead now. The two fighters were already back on their feet, talking, but Ayden couldn't hear what they said over the loud cheers and applause from the others in the hold. He only saw how Atross picked up the stick and gave it into the Noghri's hands, when he was distracted by a brute rumble from the left. A few meters beside the bench, Norac Tristan was sitting on the deck, and by his side, a large ball of fur had just uncurled, revealing a four-legged canine animal. The rumble was more of a yawn, and short, sharp fangs dominated the now wide-open mouth. It was a vornskr, and the lack of a tail showed that it had been tamed. But it wasn't Tristan's pet; it belonged to Kharritokh and was more of a mount and battle companion than a pet. Rukh, how it had been named in honor of Rukh, the Noghri Death Commando who had killed Grand Admiral Thrawn, was a rather large specimen, large enough that Kharritokh could ride on its back in battle. Ayden had once seen that in combat against the Vong, and it was an intimidating sight—even gotta be for the Vong, he thought. Rukh was a tough creature, numerous scars and a raw build showed that. The vornskr's fur bristled as it spotted Kharritokh fighting, but apart from a short hiss, it didn't show any reaction—Rukh was clever enough to know that it would get punished in some way if it disrupted a training fight between its master and his Togorian friend. The two were still fighting, but Ayden stopped watching. He longed for a few minutes under a sonic shower, but that was a no can do. The old Bantha-class assault shuttle wasn't a luxury liner, its refreshers had nothing more than a toilet and a sink. On the way to his locker, he stopped a few moments to rub Rukh's neck. The large creature had very long fur, what made it look even more intimidating. Its crimson eyes fixed on Ayden's during the caress, and it began a deep purr. "Gotta hand you over to Norac, sorry." Tristan shot him a grimace as he walked by, but when Ayden reached his locker, the comm speaker signal sounded and the voice of Jorso Sateda, their pilot, clanged in the hold. "Sorry to spoil the fun, vode, but we'll be out of hyperspace in ten. So you better get suited up, everyone." Great. Ayden rolled his eyes. Now he had to cope with an even briefer visit to the 'fresher than planned. ***** Safe house, Contruum "Why? Just tell me, Sareth. Why did you do it?" Ronan could only presume what had to be going on inside Ara. He knew he was furious. But in her voice, he could also make out a trace of terror, of sadness and, most of all, of despair. She was looming over her husband, a husband who was strapped to a chair propped up in the middle of the room; a husband who had betrayed them all, but most of all, his wife. "You're not the man I married. You're not the father of my children. I look away for an instant... and when I turn back, I see a weak chakaar. An aruetii." She had to pause to clear her throat, her voice had become hoarse. "An aruetyc hut'uun." There she had said it. She had called him a traitor, and a coward—the worst insult for a Mandalorian. "Dar—" "Ara." Sareth looked ashen, thick blood gushing from his freshly broken nose. He was trembling, breath heavy. "Let me... explain. The Vong... there is no stopping... them. Sooner or later, we will be... overwhelmed, slaughtered... enslaved, just like the rest of the galaxy. No way out... is that what you want for our children? A life as a mutated... brainless slave?" "Open your eyes, Sareth! The war is over, nearly. The GA's fleet is en route for Coruscant, you said so yourself. Their whole fleet. The crab-boys are history." "Don't... kid yourself. They'll need a miracle... now, to retake Coruscant. Or a superweapon. We both know that miracles... don't occur at our convenience, if they... do at all. And the... pathetic Jedi don't have the... guts to use a superweapon, even if they had one." He coughed heavily. Ara hadn't shaken him up tenderly. "I made a choice. To protect my family. When ensuring at least... some kind of future for my children meant to betray a... few strangers, the—" "Strangers? Strangers?" Ara's voice was pure ice, tainted with contempt. "You betrayed your vode, your brothers and sisters. They are family, too. And you think the vongese let you in live in peace after they wipe out every Mando'ad in the galaxy? Let you raise a nice little bunch of kids, a nice little bunch of new Mandos?" She looked over her shoulder, glancing at Jiriad. He was standing a short distance behind beside Ronan; both had their arms folded. She glared back at her husband. "Remember Skira?" Ronan took a step closer. He could hear Sareth's gulp. "He... he wasn't planned—" "No?" the former commando said. He had to pull himself together not to lash out at the man. "Well that's inconvenient now, isn't it? Since we were all planned to walk into that trap. Without Graven's help, we'd be corpses now. Thanks to you." He was starting to get impatient. "What else did you tell them?" "Noth—" In an instant, Ronan was by the chair, both hands clasping Sareth's bloodied vest. Ara wanted to intervene, but he just shot a glare back. No. You can have your pick at him later. They had a lot of good men and women out there, and if Sareth had leaked any other information, he had to get it out of him. And pronto. "Aye, like we're such big players. Cut the osik, di'kut." He tightened the grip and pulled. "What else did you tell them?" Ara's husband didn't even open his mouth. Alright, you asked for it. Ronan brought his foot up under the chair in a jolt. The light metal construction dropped backwards, and two impacts were audible, as the back of the chair crashed down, followed by the back of Sareth's head. "Don't you get it?" Ronan said, leaning over the moaning man. "It's end of the line. You won't get to see your kids again, and neither your Vong contacts. You cooperate, however, and we may do some reconsidering." He bent his knees and squatted, looking into Sareth's face up close. It had swollen up around the broken nose, making him look like a boxer knocked out for good. We've only just started. "I'm not asking again. You better hope you haven't told them about Gyndine. That'd give the term 'surprise attack' a whole new unhealthy twist." Ronan watched closely for any ever-so-minor reaction from Sareth. At the mention of Gyndine, his trembles ebbed down a little, and Ronan could spot him squint slightly. Fierfek. He straightened up again, walked a few steps, and then returned to the chair. They're flying right into an ambush. "You can't keep... my kids from me," Sareth said with a voice strained from agony. "I did th—" "But I can," Ara muttered. "Dar'manda and shuk'la riduurok is hard, but dar'buir..." Sareth winced and swallowed hard. In the same breath, Ara had divorced him, made him and outcast and threatened him with being disowned by his children. Ronan could see the realization dawn on the man's battered face. He had lost everything, and he could only save a fragment of that by cooperating now. He was looking up to Ara, his expression one of begging, but also of unyielding defiance. He wanted her mercy, but didn't offer anything in return to earn it. "Altair, you can take over," Ronan said. "I have to warn off our Gyndine task force, they're probably walking right into one big trap. Get as much out of him as you can." Usually, he would have handed that to Gladus, a man better suited for such a dirty task. But the former assassin hadn't lost a son and now had the person responsible sitting right in the same room as him. Jiriad would do just fine with the interrogation. The Kiffar had already approached, anger written into his tanned face, as Ara grabbed his arm to stop him. She looked him in the eye with grim determination. "No. I'll do it." She bent over her now ex-husband and jerked the chair back upright. Ronan could nearly sense her inner struggle, but it was starting to crystallize which part of her was winning. Her grim warrior side, the side of her that had seen all the misery in the war, that drove her to the edge of despair. But Ara still had the strength to keep up the fight, and he admired that in her. But this, her husband's ultimate betrayal, was too much. Sareth would get to feel the full broadside of all the remorseless emotions that had built up in her over the years and decades. Ara pulled out a short dagger, and Ronan turned away. He shook his head on his way to the other end of the room. Sareth's behavior both intrigued and puzzled him. The man was a traitor to his own family, in his belief of saving them. And yet he didn't give out his information, now that they had found out. He didn't take his chance at the small measure of redemption they offered him. Either the crab-boys have done a pretty good brainwash on him, or he's gone mental. Ronan frowned. Wars did that to people, even to the best. He reached the table in the corner, where he had put his gear. Fenix sat in a chair next to it, elbows propped up on his knees, looking dispirited watching the events. He hadn't said a word since he had been woken by the noise, and while Ronan was glad of the absence of his bothering curiosity, he wasn't sure if not something else had shaken up the man. But right now, he didn't care. He grabbed his helmet and donned it, powering up its internal systems. With a few voice-issued commands, he remotely accessed his Firespray's hyperwave transceiver, and while the interstellar link was being established, Ronan consulted the chrono in the edge of his HUD. If everything went according to plan, most of the forces gathering at the rendezvous point outside Gyndine system had arrived ten minutes ago. They were to wait another three hours for the stragglers before making the jump to the Vong-occupied planet. I'm still on time. Building up the link was taking its time. Nemesis, Ronan's ship, had top-grade communications equipment on board, so he wasn't used to waiting. With the HoloNet down or largely out of commission—thanks to the Vong—hyperwave and hypercomm had to suffice, but at least they worked—usually. Sometimes, a connection was established within a matter of seconds, sometimes it took minutes. And sometimes, it didn't work at all. Ronan decided to use the wait to check on Gladus. The burly man was still on his sickbed, but the 2-1B had been deactivated for the time being—even with the planned memory wipe, the droid could still pick up classified intel and broadcast it before they got a chance to erase it. No, the unit would definitely experience a close encounter with an unsubtle EMP charge once Gladus was patched up. "I take it Karr won't be the one to babysit me now, after all." The assassin's voice was still hoarse, but the color was starting to get back into his grained face. He was recovering exceptionally well. "So, what's your nice police conscience say about slotting the traitor?" Ronan grunted. "You just keep asking for it, burc'ya. It'll come down to Fenix and Rios watching your backside, I can tell ya." He shook his head, slowly. "As for Karr... it'll depend on how much he leaked. But ultimately, it's Ara's call." "She's not giving him the subtle treatment now." Gladus's brow furrowed, slightly—it was as far as he got to a real grimace. Ronan took another glance at his HUD's readout—still nothing. He glanced at Ara and Jiriad on the other side of the room. Her blade was hovering millimeters from Sareth's face, and with the other hand, she was twisting one of his fingers as if to break it. Ronan called to get their attention, and as they looked up, he waved a finger to beckon them over. The interrogation had to wait. "We may have to leave this rock in a hurry," he began when they had approached. "You saw what's going on, Gyndine looks like one textbook ambush now. If I can't get a secure channel to the task force within the next few minutes, I'll have to inform them the old fashioned way. And that means flying, at full throttle. Even at top speed, it's gonna take a good four hours to get there. That's one hour too late, they'll long have jumped into the system." He scanned their faces, which was a bit odd since he still wore the helmet. "What I'm saying is that this is more than just a courier run; at best, it's a rescue or reinforcement mission. If worst comes to worst, however, we'll only arrive to pick up the debris." Ara and Jiriad exchanged troubled glances. "Nemesis's engines are already warming up, though it'll take some time to get to the spaceport. I'll need at least Sareth on board." "I'll come," Ara stated without hesitation. Then she went back to her former husband and started to prepare him for transport. Ronan glanced at Jiriad, and then Gladus. He motioned to the injured man. "You can either come along in your current state, or get your arm fixed and catch up later. Ara's Gladiator is still gonna be here." Gladus looked down at the stump of his arm. "A one-handed gunner's not gonna be much use on your ship. I'm staying." Ronan turned to Jiriad to address him, but something in his helmet HUD caught his attention. "Shab." For a moment, the connection icon showed static, then a garbled bar appeared with the message LINK COULD NOT BE ESTABLISHED. CONNECTION TIMEOUT. He jerked the helmet off and nearly slammed it to the floor, but caught himself. It was no use to try again. Jiriad stared at him, his expression a mix of anxiety, tentativeness and suppressed anger. Ronan could guess what was brooding in him. Either he stayed to take care of his son's remains and informing his family, or he accompanied them for payback to the Vong—and perhaps also to Sareth. He glanced from the adjacent room back to Ronan. "Count me in." The sniper gave him an appreciative nod and started to stuff his gear into a bag. "Alright, that's it. Let's hustle, people." To be continued... -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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Kenobi_Kid Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 4/6/08 3:00pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter VI --- 4/6
	Woot1! First reply! I'll get to the chapter ASAP, but allow me to first observe how awesome those Ayden Stone pics are. -----signature----- High Prophet of the Church of Kyle and loyal suitor of HIH Marasiah Fel Star Wars: Now with 100% more Lyle Waggoner! Lick enough wallpaper and eventually you will find the Snozzberry I have seen the enemy and he is you
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RK_Striker_JK_5 Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 4/6/08 6:51pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter VI --- 4/6
	Whistles Now those are some nice pics of Ayden. And... very tense post, there. Hmm, the Ewok and the Gorax... David and Goliath? Man, bad trap there. Feel sorta sorry for Sareth... but not much. Ara... And cool on the lack of italics for the Mando'a. Blame the boards, not you. -----signature----- E-married to the wonderful DarthIshtar. Now also her Padawan. Member of the Y.J.K. Revolution Staring into the Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27537567/p1/?23
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 4/7/08 5:31am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter VI --- 4/6
	Kenobi_Kid posted: I'll get to the chapter ASAP, but allow me to first observe how awesome those Ayden Stone pics are. I was equally blown away when ragelion said he was doing a pic of him. Just ori'kandosii. How are the Micros coming, btw? RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: Whistles Now those are some nice pics of Ayden. RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: And... very tense post, there. Thanks, glad you enjoyed it--and glad the desired effect worked. RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: Hmm, the Ewok and the Gorax... David and Goliath? ... who? RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: Man, bad trap there. Feel sorta sorry for Sareth... but not much. Ara... Once again, glad it worked with conveying the emotions. I've taken a big leap from my two-dimensional OCs in Honor Guard to the complex ones here--I think. RK_Striker_JK_5 posted: And cool on the lack of italics for the Mando'a. Blame the boards, not you. Yeah, they were returning posting errors all the time. And I've posted even longer posts with a lot of more markup, and it worked. -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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VaderLVR64 Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 4/8/08 7:24pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter VI --- 4/6
	I'm trying to catch up on all the stuff I read earlier and didn't leave a reply for. BAD reader! Great chapter! -----signature----- R.I.P John, Alex, Jason, and Christian Never forgotten Soldiers' Angels http://soldiersangels.org/ 2114 soldiers waiting for someone to care
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 4/19/08 3:14am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter VI --- 4/6
	Curse me and my ages-long updates, looks like I lost some readers. VaderLVR64 posted: I'm trying to catch up on all the stuff I read earlier and didn't leave a reply for. BAD reader! Great chapter! Glad you like it, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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Quiet_Mandalorian Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 4/26/08 10:44am Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter VI --- 4/6
	Very intense. I'm still running over the chapter, so I may have some more comments to make later, but at this point I really have to say that you're doing a bang-up job on the continuing adventures of Ronan Barec and company, particularly in their mixed reactions to having to deal with a traitor in their midst and the resultant conflicted feelings. Ori'jate, ner vod! -----signature----- Fey'la was right! Bring Asyr Sei'lar to justice!
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-DDR- Registered: Aug '07	Date Posted: 4/27/08 11:37pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter VI --- 4/6
	Hey, I found this a while ago and then lost and then found it again. Good story you have here, pretty involved. I'm impressed with your characters, good to read OCs written so convincingly. Action's good, too. I wouldn't mind a PM when you post again. I should be up to date by then......still got a bit more to read. -----signature----- Working on reducing my carbon footprint. How about you?
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Corran_Fett Registered: Jan '05	Date Posted: 4/30/08 3:16pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter VI --- 4/6
	Quiet_Mandalorian posted: Very intense. I'm still running over the chapter, so I may have some more comments to make later, but at this point I really have to say that you're doing a bang-up job on the continuing adventures of Ronan Barec and company, particularly in their mixed reactions to having to deal with a traitor in their midst and the resultant conflicted feelings. Ori'jate, ner vod! Ori'vor'e, ner vod. Thanks for taking the time to stop by, I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and even more that my attempts to give my plot and characters more depth do seem to work out. -DDR- posted: Hey, I found this a while ago and then lost and then found it again. Good story you have here, pretty involved. I'm impressed with your characters, good to read OCs written so convincingly. Action's good, too. Yeeha, a new reader! I'm really glad you enjoyed it so far, and thanks for the comments. -DDR- posted: I wouldn't mind a PM when you post again. I should be up to date by then.... Well, yes, the next update written in the stars. But sure thing, you're on the list. -----signature----- The other side of the NJO, featuring Mandalorians, Vong, and Peace Brigaders in a thrillride full of betrayal and intrigue... When Few Stood Against Many \| http://boards.theforce.net/b/b10477/25253415/ - http://corranfett.deviantart.com -
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-DDR- Registered: Aug '07	Date Posted: 5/6/08 11:59pm Subject: RE: When Few Stood Against Many [NJO action/thriller; OCs, Mandos, Vong] --- Chapter VI --- 4/6
	Yup I'm up to date now. A great read. Still very impressed with your characters and dialogue. No worries about slow writing, I'm not here as often as some. -----signature----- Working on reducing my carbon footprint. How about you?
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