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Author Topic: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - author's notes and apology
dianethx 
Registered: Mar '02
46246_TFN Turns "10"
Date Posted: 5/6/07 8:33am Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 4/25/07
For one fleeting moment, as she looked into Luke's determined face, Mara seemed uncertain, her eyes a green-storm mixture of exasperation and dread. But she was not one to show vulnerability, especially where a potential enemy could see.

Her gaze flicked over to where Jacen stood; he was still whispering urgently to Ben. In the Force, Luke could feel her alarm at the sight, knots of worry colliding with urgency, ripples of cold grey that were swirling into the already-unsettled omens of impending disaster.

Ben was hovering too close to his cousin, both of them arguing and gesturing with the familiarity of long association, muttering to each other like co-conspirators. Their son kept frowning back toward them, too. Apparently, much as Jacen had supported their insistence on him returning with them, Ben was not happy about the situation.

Neither was Mara. Scowl hardening quickly into durasteel, she twisted back to Luke. "I better get Ben to the ship," she nodded toward Jacen, "before he changes his mind."

There was something in her voice that set off claxons in Luke's mind. He had expected Mara to argue more strenuously to remain as backup or else for him to leave with them both. This capitulation was too unlike her - which meant she was planning something.

Brilliant in undercover work, she was one of the most knowledgeable fighters he had ever known, powerful and with a flowing grace that was unbelievable at times, but she was focused, always focused on her goal. Determined, intense and beautiful. He loved her very much but she could be a liability at times. Like now.

And there was only one thing that would make sense. Hoping that he was wrong, he said softly, "Mara, promise me you'll wait on the ship. With Ben."

He wasn't wrong. The glare she sent him could have melted rock. Drawing back, arrow-straight and rigid with fierce indignation, she snapped, "I said I'd leave you here to talk with him, didn't I?"

Her eyes dared him to cross her, at his own peril. The unspoken threat, the way she fingered her blaster as though remembering the first time she'd promised to kill him and only now considering actually doing it, reminded him of how much they had been to each other over the years.

But it didn't change the fact that he needed to talk with Jacen. Alone.

"Promise me, Mara." Flat, resolute. He had to make sure she knew that he would not yield in this.

Narrowing into slits, her eyes were banked wildfire. "Have it your own way, Sky...."

One look from him and she bit off the rest. But as Mara stalked toward their son, displeasure clacking sharp in boot-heel precision, Luke could hear her muttering under her breath about damn Jedi fools and husbands with martyr complexes.

Deliberately refusing to look in his direction, she stood next to Jacen, waiting impatiently while Ben said farewell to his cousin. Luke could see how upset she was, her body taut with emotion, one hand, white-knuckled and bone sharp, fisted on the hilt of her lightsaber, the other curling tight at her side.

He just hoped that Mara wouldn't try something foolish. It could get them both killed.

But before Luke could say anything else, Mara frowned down at their son, reminding him, "Ben, it's time to leave."

Sighing heavily, Ben shifted, glowering first at her and then, as if disappointed, at Jacen. As he turned toward the exit, his gaze fell on Luke and he scowled a bit, "Dad won't do anything, will he?"

"Of course not," Mara said quickly, her eyes meeting Luke's in puzzlement. That seemed an odd thing for Ben to say but there would be time later to ask, once they were safely away. "Let's go."

With that, she turned reluctantly, sending Luke one last anxious look, then hustled Ben out into the corridor and the landing platform beyond. Luke could hear the drift of shuffling feet and reluctance as the echoing noise faded in the distance.

Jacen was waiting patiently by one of the exits. As Luke faced him, he said simply, "Walk with me, Uncle."

The Force was full of shadows and the acrid taste of defeat. With every heartbeat, Luke could feel the danger growing, little scolds of desperation that whispered to him, telling him to escape before it was too late. But he ignored it.

For each moment that he waited, Mara and Ben were a little closer to safety. It was enough. He patiently followed his nephew past the broken panels and crunch of old bones into the inferno beyond. Behind them, the light faded slowly into black.

Their silence led them to a balcony of some kind, warped with the heat. One end was completely buried in resolidified rock but the rest of it seemed stable. Beyond the railing, in the distance, molten lava plummeted over a sharp-edged obsidian cliff, sending clouds of smoke and choking ash into the air. A small sun failed to light the darkness; the only illumination was from the crimson glow of hot rock and the erratic splash of meteorite strikes.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry it had to come to this." Jacen was leaning against the balustrade, gazing out into the distance. His face was a map caught in reds and black.

Luke picked his way carefully over to his nephew's side. But he kept away from the edge, just as a precaution. The metal railing looked as fragile as spun glass.

"I cannot make you return to the Temple, Jacen, but you need to think about what you are doing, not just reacting to the political maneuverings of the GA. This path you are taking, it's wrong. Not just for the GA but for yourself. I know that you are better than this."

"I do what I must for peace and security in the galaxy. Perhaps you should remember that." Jacen shifted, looking at Luke with determination in his eyes.

"Peace is not won with the torment of innocents. Security is not found in wholesale murder." Luke shook his head. "Have you forgotten everything you learned at the Academy?"

"I forget nothing." Straightening up, his voice sharp as a vibroblade, he shot back, "Do not assume that I do this for my own pleasure. We must bring peace back to the galaxy before it is too late."

Even as he was trying to reason with Jacen, Luke knew he was failing. The frustration and urgency in his accusations would only alienate the man further, he knew, but desperation can make the best intentions go awry.

"Jacen, I understand the need for peace. I've strived for it my whole life. So have your parents. So have the Jedi. There are many ways to peace but murder is not one of them." Taking a step closer, he said quietly, "You've lost your way. Come back with me and we can work together to find it again. "

But Jacen just shook his head, and looked away, cool, impassive, alone.

For a moment, Luke tried desperately to remember the once happy child, the boy with his silly jokes and empathy for all living things, the energetic brown-eyed combination of Han's passionate loyalty and Leia's steadfast determination.

"What ever happened to the compassionate boy I knew? The Jacen I remember would never have done the things that you have done. He would have died first."

Now, there was only sun's-core heat in those eyes as Jacen snapped, "That boy died a long time ago. With Anakin."

For a moment, behind the fury, Luke could feel Jacen's Force signature and the grief buried there, unreliquished and festering. His own heart aching to comfort, he started to reach out to his nephew, wanting to connect with him and share his sorrow. There was something in touch that could never be expressed in mere words.

But Jacen jerked back, out of the way, and his presence in the Force vaporized as if it had never been. All that was left was a scowl and stone.

It hurt to know that there could be no connection, even one of solace. Sending his heartache into the Force, hoping that Jacen would feel it, hoping he would realize just how much Luke regretted Anakin's death, he softened his tone and tried again.

"Jacen, I'm sorry about Anakin. I still mourn his death and my part in it. I can't take back the past but I would change it if I could. His death was a great loss to us all."

His nephew appeared to be listening, but with every heartbeat, Luke could see that Jacen was withdrawing into some remote cold place that no one could touch, where no one could touch him. He had seen it before: in soldiers pushed beyond their limits, in refugees who had lost their families and homes, in victims of torture. It was a way of coping with the unendurable. But if left to fester, it could also morph into self-destruction or cruelty or even an insatiable lust for control.

His voice almost pleading as he tried to break through that icy wall, Luke said urgently, "But Anakin would not want you to lose yourself like this. Please, come back with us. We can help you regain..."

In Jacen's eyes, there was nothing more of grief or even recognition, only the hard-edged stare of a man who had tortured helpless innocents. "You have no idea."

"I do, though. I've made my own bad choices in the past, thinking that the use of the Dark side would help bring peace to the galaxy, that it would make everything better. It took your mother to bring me back."

Luke had almost destroyed everything he had ever cared about in those awful days. Countless beings had died and worlds destroyed because of him. The weight of it still pressed in on him, in the night. "The dark is seductive, warping your mind until you lose all sight of what is right. Until your choices twist you into something unrecognizable, a creature of evil. I know it too well." Shaking off the haunting memories, Luke said, "Come back, Jacen. Please."

"Always the compassionate one." There was pity in his mild words but he wasn't looking at Luke. Rather he was gazing out into the hellish scene beyond. "I was talking about sacrifice earlier."

If Jacen was trying to keep him off-balance with the sudden change in topic, it was working.

Blinking in surprise, Luke recovered quickly. Stepping closer, hoping to shake that cold calm and bring warmth back into Jacen's eyes, he said gently, "Your examples were good ones. But you left out your own. Your time on the worldship, your torture at the hands of the Vong and Vergere, marked you, saddened you to the point that no one could reach you. Not Jaina, not your parents, not me."

Despite the heat, Luke shivered slightly. His nephew was growing more remote by the second. "I couldn't help you, no matter how much I wanted to and I am truly sorry for that."

Shrugging off the attempt at reconciliation, Jacen seemed to be caught up in some agenda of his own. As another meteor streaked past, lighting the sky in red flame, he nodded out toward the smoky landscape. "Do you know where you are?"

So his nephew was going to ignore apologies and grief and pain. "Jacen, if you have something to say, then please say it. I will do everything in my power to help you regain your balance..." Smiling slightly, Luke tried to joke, "including braving the wrath of Mara." Then turning serious again, he said, "but you have to choose to accept my help. I cannot force you into it."

Jacen wasn't listening.

Instead, he frowned down past the balcony, apparently fascinated with the molten river far below. "It wasn't always called Hell's Gate. Darth Vader renamed it in the early days of the Empire. I could never find out its true name. But I wondered why Vader took the trouble to change it."

Much as Luke was curious, he was growing more alarmed by the moment. Jacen seemed off-balance, almost irrational in his somber ramblings.

And the Force was urging him to flee. Its currents were agitated, wild, a sludgy mixture of shadow and desperation, mirroring the chaotic churn of liquefied rock and black slag in the distant river.

He would be a fool to ignore the warning any longer. He had tried and failed to help Jacen and now all he could do was hope to escape before disaster struck.

Luke began to inch back toward the exit. He said mildly, "Bad memories, perhaps."

"I found the records eventually. My years of study away from the Jedi paid off." Jacen straightened up, glancing at Luke for a moment, and then brushed at his sleeve, as though trying to rid himself of dust. From behind Luke, there was a far-off rumble but he could not tell what caused it, only that the air seemed to grow suddenly warmer, and more dangerous.

His nephew ignored the sound. "I don't think Vader quite knew just how much it would cost him, to become Sith. It was easy enough to destroy the things that didn't matter to him. The Jedi, the Republic, people and things to which he had no loyalty or interest."

His voice softened, and he began to walk toward Luke, his hands loose at his sides. "But for the Sith, in order to gain ultimate power, a sacrifice is demanded, a sacrifice of the ones he loves most." He looked around, eyes flicking back toward the hellscape and then stared, unseeing, at Luke. "It was here he lost everything that truly mattered to him - his wife, his best friend, his hopes for a family, everything."

Blinking, Jacen suddenly came back to himself and smiled as he whispered, "His sacrifice to power."

Taking another uneasy step backward, Luke tried to remember what pitfalls lay between him and the doorway. The floor's surface was uneven and gritty with ash; it crunched sharply as he moved. "But my father loved me and he refused to sacrifice me, even when faced with his own death. He died, trying to save me."

Jacen just shook his head, almost regretfully. "Yes, in the end, he was no longer Sith. Compassion is a Jedi trait."

"And one you can regain. Come back, Jacen. It isn't too late." One last try to turn his nephew from the path he seemed determined to follow.

Jacen's eyes were full of red-streaked shadow, feverish with pity and resolve and decisions. Face hardening back into stone, he was adamant. "The Jedi... the Jedi have brought us nothing but chaos. When we needed strength, there was only weakness. When the people of the galaxy needed peace and security, there was only war."

His hand half-curling around his saber, Jacen took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders, his body spear-rigid with determination. He looked like a hero of old - tall, strong and certain of his choices. "It's time to change. I'll do whatever it takes, including sacrificing those I love, the ones most important to me, to make it a reality."

The Force was shrill with warning.

"What are you saying, Jacen?" Luke's voice was still mild but he was alert, his fingertips close to his saber. Force help him, he did not want to fight his nephew but he would if necessary, fight and kill if necessary. But the memory of a compassionate little boy and the thought that he might die by Luke's hand was almost overwhelming.

Jacen bowed his head slightly and then lifted it, looking straight at him. "I'm sorry, Luke, but I need the strength and power to stop this war for good. I can only do that through sacrifice."

Resolute and steady, Jacen said softly, "I have avoided this long enough. It is time to choose."

Then he stepped closer and, as the Force tore into chaos, Jacen's green blade was slicing through the air toward Luke's head.

"I have chosen you."


tbc

 

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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08
Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08
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iamobiwan1970 
Registered: Aug '05
16486_Kyp Durron
Date Posted: 5/6/07 9:08am Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07
This was what I waited for: Darth Jacen unleashed! devil Poor Luke: will he get to be the Obi-Wan of Mustafar? Or the Obi-Wan of the DeathStar???

Favorite lines:

Now, there was only sun's-core heat in those eyes as Jacen snapped, "That boy died a long time ago. With Anakin."

cry That is so true...we know it even more now that Jacen is "sithing" in LOTF, but there were signs throughout NJO....we just didn't see them. cry

His voice almost pleading as he tried to break through that icy wall, Luke said urgently, "But Anakin would not want you to lose yourself like this. Please, come back with us. We can help you regain..."

so Luke, always trying to help, to heal, to forgive. But he just doens't get it. He is talking to a Sith.

And the Force was urging him to flee. Its currents were agitated, wild, a sludgy mixture of shadow and desperation, mirroring the chaotic churn of liquefied rock and black slag in the distant river.

'Bout time Luke, this boy's about to go after you! Duh!

But for the Sith, in order to gain ultimate power, a sacrifice is demanded, a sacrifice of the ones he loves most."

Ok, Luke, now at this point you need to realize HE IS A SITH !

Jacen bowed his head slightly and then lifted it, looking straight at him. "I'm sorry, Luke, but I need the strength and power to stop this war for good. I can only do that through sacrifice."

I have chosen you."

Interesting how impersonal he is calling his uncle Luke. I noticed Allston wrote it that way too. Jacen is such a cold Sith, he is almost passionless.


Wonderful post!!!! applause I can't wait to read about their duel. and I worry: will Ben attack his mother?????

 

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obsessedwithSW 
Registered: May '05
6007_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 5/6/07 11:05am Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07 - Date Edited: 5/6/07 11:06am (1 edits total) Edited By: obsessedwithSW
Oh wow Diane! What a buildup! As the post continued I found myself holding my breath and leaning towards the monitor, reading very carefully so as not to miss one nuance of this post.

Then in the end you hit us with this:
Resolute and steady, Jacen said softly, "I have avoided this long enough. It is time to choose."

Then he stepped closer and, as the Force tore into chaos, Jacen's green blade was slicing through the air toward Luke's head.

"I have chosen you."

Arrgh! cry Even though it was suspected your build up still made the impact horrifying.

I just wanted to scream! I am both anxious and dreading the next LOTF book Sacifice to see how this is going to play out in EU.

Wonderful job Diane! applause Your DWB did not show at all in this post!

 

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divapilot 
Registered: Nov '05
46447_MLB 2008
Date Posted: 5/6/07 11:14am Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07
Beautifully written! I love this story. hugs This is the way it should be, with Luke trying desperately to save Jacen. It seems so much more in his character.

The way Jacen insisted that Mara and Luke split up sent warnings all over. He's separating them because they are so much more powerful together.

So Jacen's fall began with the death of his little brother. This was the start of the death of his own soul. How tragic. If he hadn't been warped by Veregne, perhaps he could have fought his way out like Jaina did, but being so young and isolated from his family for so long, he was really bent past breaking.

And so the battle begins. I hope Luke can deal with the emotions he is feeling, like Obi-Wan had to deal with the despair of fighting someone he loved like a brother. praying

 

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Jade_Pilot 
Registered: Dec '05
46068_Rianna Saren
Date Posted: 5/6/07 12:01pm Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07
Oh My Gosh! It breaks my heart that Jacen would actually sacrifice Luke. Very powerful, Diane. It was almost too painful for me to read (I'm such a wimp!)

Favorite moment: "Peace is not won with the torment of innocents. Security is not found in wholesale murder." Luke shook his head. "Have you forgotten everything you learned at the Academy?"

Just beautiful!

Bravo! applause

 

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DARTH_MU 
Registered: Feb '05
Date Posted: 5/6/07 12:06pm Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07
remind me, why did he kill Nelani again?

 

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Healer_Leona 
Registered: Jul '00
44266_Fan Art - Female Chiss
Date Posted: 5/6/07 2:44pm Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07
I can only hope that Mara is one her way back even now. Heck, too bad she didn't stick around to let Ben hear his master's words.

 

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dianethx 
Registered: Mar '02
46246_TFN Turns "10"
Date Posted: 5/6/07 2:49pm Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07
DARTH_MU posted:
remind me, why did he kill Nelani again?


LOL, to keep from killing Luke. Ironic, isn't it...

 

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Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08
Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08
Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434
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Flowerlady 
Registered: Dec '05
41083_Jaina and Jag
Date Posted: 5/6/07 7:40pm Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07
shock

Wow... This post was so powerful.

I think the reason I am enjoying LotF so much is because it really makes sense to me that Jacen falls to the Dark side and that as he does so, he becomes more distant and cold, even in the books.

And that's why I think Jacen's fall is more believable than even Anakin Sr's.

I really hope he doesn't choose Luke to be his sacrifice because mainly I can't imagine Luke being killed off in the books, but I can see Mara trying to do something heroic and well....I don't even want to think it... cry

Great update and I really love this story. applause

I'm always looking forward to more. hugs


FL rose

 

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verybusy 
Registered: Sep '06
14831_Millennium Falcon<br>Hyperspace
Date Posted: 5/7/07 5:03am Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07
Wow! What an update... and what a cliff!!!! applause

There was something in her voice that set off claxons in Luke's mind. He had expected Mara to argue more strenuously to remain as backup or else for him to leave with them both. This capitulation was too unlike her - which meant she was planning something.


I really hope you let her come up with a plan that keeps her near Luke right now, no matter what Luke wanted her to do!


His hand half-curling around his saber, Jacen took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders, his body spear-rigid with determination. He looked like a hero of old - tall, strong and certain of his choices. "It's time to change. I'll do whatever it takes, including sacrificing those I love, the ones most important to me, to make it a reality."


The way you write Jacen makes so much sense that it is going to scare the hell out of me. Great characterization!

I like how he is going to compare his own situation with the situation Vader was in at that point. He knows exactly what he is doing and this is what really counts.
As horible as it is it really makes sense! applause

cheers,

VeryBusy



 

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ginchy 
Registered: May '05
18930_Luke Skywalker
Date Posted: 5/7/07 6:05am Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07
This story scares the willies out of me. Yup, I'm a wimp, too. wink

Resolute and steady, Jacen said softly, "I have avoided this long enough. It is time to choose."

Then he stepped closer and, as the Force tore into chaos, Jacen's green blade was slicing through the air toward Luke's head.

"I have chosen you."

Is it wrong of me to hope that Luke wipes the floor with Jacen?

Oh, and redeems him. Yeah. wink

Excellent update, my stomach was clenched throughout, so that must mean it's great! grin

 

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ginchy's gambit:
http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/29089731/p1/?73
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VaderLVR64 
Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots
 Registered: Feb '04
42064_Darth Vader
Date Posted: 5/7/07 6:45am Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07
Wow, there are so many things I would love to quote as my favorite. But this part in particular stood out for me:

"Jacen, I understand the need for peace. I've strived for it my whole life. So have your parents. So have the Jedi. There are many ways to peace but murder is not one of them." Taking a step closer, he said quietly, "You've lost your way. Come back with me and we can work together to find it again. "

But Jacen just shook his head, and looked away, cool, impassive, alone.

For a moment, Luke tried desperately to remember the once happy child, the boy with his silly jokes and empathy for all living things, the energetic brown-eyed combination of Han's passionate loyalty and Leia's steadfast determination.

"What ever happened to the compassionate boy I knew? The Jacen I remember would never have done the things that you have done. He would have died first."

Now, there was only sun's-core heat in those eyes as Jacen snapped, "That boy died a long time ago. With Anakin."

So sad! cry Jacen reminded me very much of his grandfather here. I also loved the part about Vader not realizing what it had cost him to become Sith. Of course, in the end, I think he did. sad

applause

 

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Jade_eyes 
Registered: Aug '04
Date Posted: 5/7/07 12:34pm Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07
Very sad!! Of course I didn't expect an instant turnaround. But Jacen's totally shut off. sad Luke was very eloquent. kiss He could talk me into or out of anything. grin applause

 

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Zonoma 
Registered: Jun '05
7280_Dagobah
Date Posted: 5/7/07 7:03pm Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07
dianethx:

The introduction of Ben and Jacen was spectacular and Bravo! For Mara’s “because I said so and right *now*, young man!” approach! grin Unfortunately, I am now remembering that vision of Luke’s and trying to remember which parent was not present with the child on the beach. It’s rather worrisome, actually.

On to the next post….Oh man. I smell a trap. Jacen sending Ben back with a “you will know”????? Aiya! And there it is. Luke staying behind for Jacen to slaughter and twist the murder into something Ben will accept. Oh Mara! For the love of a son, indeed.

*shivers as Jacen’s green blade aims for Luke’s neck* I think we all saw that coming, thanks to your gifted foreshadowing.

I am betting that there will still be another sacrifice in the making… *shakes head* There is no denying that you have me hooked, I just… *sigh* I miss the Jacen that might have been, you know?

Thank you for stepping out of your comfort zone and coming up to Beyond! This is an incredibly well written story thus far. I can’t wait until the next update. Be sure to PM me!

Zonoma

 

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Jedi-2B 
Registered: Nov '00
42320_Luke Skywalker
Date Posted: 5/8/07 3:19pm Subject: RE: For the love of a son (Jacen, Luke, Mara, Ben) - short story - update 5/6/07 - Date Edited: 5/8/07 5:21pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Jedi-2B
A not unexpected cliffhanger ending, but your build-up to it was perfect. If history is going to repeat itself, at least we know that the old guy can win. And Mara has to be more help than 3PO and R2. The question is, who would Ben side with, his master or his father?

EDIT: Further reflections while cooking supper: Obi-Wan went to Mustafar with the intent that he had to kill Anakin. Luke is clinging to hope that Jacen can be redeemed, with killing him being a last resort. So did Obi-Wan's intent give him the advantage, and Luke doesn't have that advantage?

 

-----signature-----
It was on her fifteenth day in the darkness of the Nirauan cave when Mara Jade awoke to discover a rescuer had finally arrived.
It was not, however, any of the potential rescuers she would have expected.
It was Luke.
~~And the rest is history~~
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