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Author	Topic: Reparation- J/J, Jaina-centric, Sacrifice Spoilers, Updated 7/5/07
lizodessky Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 6/8/07 3:53pm Subject: Reparation- J/J, Jaina-centric, Sacrifice Spoilers, Updated 7/5/07 - Date Edited: 7/10/07 3:37pm (12 edits total) Edited By: lizodessky
	Warning: Sacrifice Spoilers Run Rampant Hither Well, this is my very first fan fiction to be posted here. Constructive criticism is welcome. Title: Reparation Author: lizodessky Timeframe: Sacrifice Characters: Jaina, Luke Rating: PG Genre: Vignette, Short Story, a little AU, a tad bit of Romance Summary: Jaina reflects on the events that occurred on Kavan and comes to a desperate conclusion. Disclaimer: I’m just playing in George’s sandbox. All rights go to Lucasfilm Ltd., Del Rey, and various authors. Dialogue in italics by Karen Traviss from LotF: Sacrifice. Jaina Solo sat in the cockpit of her StealthX, numb, replaying the events of the past hour in her head as she tried to find a way to comprehend the horror of what had just happened. It had been impossible to ignore, like a sledgehammer blow to the back of her head. It had to be a lie, a trick, a slight of hand. It would mean the end of her family; they would be torn apart looking for any hint of what had happened. It had to be a trick; some twisted joke. Maybe she had learned to disappear in the Force like Jacen, Jaina didn’t know but she willed it to be true. But the Force didn’t lie. Those last few moments had been a goodbye, the beauty of which Jaina never could have matched or made up. She couldn’t believe it, she would not resign herself to the despair that farewell would entail. She had been her best friend, someone who she could confide in no matter what, someone who acted not as a surrogate mother when her own was away, but more like the big sister Jaina never had. She had been her mentor, her Master; teaching Jaina the skills she needed to survive and come into her own. They fought the Vong together. She had grown up with her. She had been family. She had saved her life a dozen times over, and this was how Jaina repaid her? By not being there the one time she had needed her most? The thought made her sick, a sense of self-loathing overwhelming her. Despondency set upon her now, whipping her emotions into a whirlwind, twisting her insides into a knot of sorrow and anger. She felt the sickening urge to strike something, to kill someone; she didn’t care who it was, all she knew was that someone had to pay. A desperation and hate gripped her that she had not felt the likes of since Anakin had died. There had to be something she could do. Anything to make this all go away. But the Force didn’t lie, no matter how much she willed it to. Gone. It made her sick. You can’t change the past, the rational part of her said. You can only move forwards and remember. But Jaina didn’t want to be rational. It hurt too much. She knew she was being selfish, she couldn’t kid herself and pretend she was the only grieving because of this. What about the rest of her family? They were in the same situation that she was. Jacen. Something about him rubbed her the wrong way. When she reached out to him through their twin bond, he didn’t feel sorrowful at all. He felt content; no, not content. Elated. Elated and… dark. Not like the brother she had known forever at all. He felt close somehow. As if he were no more than a couple of clicks away. Suddenly their bond flared white-hot, as if he were focusing all of his energy at pushing her away. She held on for a moment before giving in and ceasing her contact with him. He gave a final push and their bond simply shattered, leaving yet another hole in her heart to accompany the barely healed one Anakin had left and the tender, new one that was pulling at her heartstrings and tearing her apart from inside. But with Jacen’s final shove came an outpouring of emotions and memories. Flashes of Jacen, some of which she was destined never to comprehend. Fragments of who he was and what he could be. Emotions flooded her; some she expected, but some she had no idea how to cope with. Sorrow. Hate. And an overriding sense of accomplishment and finality. The floodgates simply opened further and she was enveloped in some of Jacen’s most cherished memories; memories that he would carry with him to his grave. His first recollection of their mother and father. His last glace of Anakin on Myrkr. Their first day at the Jedi Academy on Yavin IV. Tenel Ka holding a child with gleaming red hair and luminous grey eyes. All the memories that had held him together in his darkest hours. Then came the darker, more hidden recollections. Nearly killing Tenel Ka at a botched sparring match at the Academy. Being forced to abandon Anakin. Seeing her hurling Force lightning at Yuuzhan Vong warriors as he was dragged further and further away from her. And finally, a very recent and vivid memory. A vision of their Aunt, bloody and broken, sagging against a wall. Jaina caught a flash of a syringe whose plastoid cover had been shattered with the force of a single strike. Jacen’s disembodied voice floated into the scene; “I’m sorry, Mara. Had to be you… Don’t fight it. No healing trance. Just let go… Its my destiny Mara—to be a Sith Lord, and bring order and justice. You’re going to save so many people…” Her voice was strained and each word dictated as if it took extreme effort, she lifted her head and fixed him with an unwavering gaze. “You think…you’ve won,” she paused to grin maliciously at him, her emerald eyes glinting with purpose and confidence even in her last moments, “But Luke will crush you… and I refuse… to let you… destroy the future… for my Ben.” Jaina pulled out of the memory gasping, fighting to pull in breath past her tears. She felt like throwing up. Her mind was filled with nagging and relentless questions. Why? How? Jacen? The knot in her gut twisting and untwisting with sickening pleasure as rage filled her. Confined in the cockpit of her X-Wing, there was only so much Jaina could hit without having to go evac. Clenching her fists, she struck at everything she could. Pummeling her communications console and the transparisteel canopy until her knuckles started to throb. She leaned forward against her restraints and tried to calm herself. But breathing exercises were hard to accomplish while sobbing and she failed horribly. Instead she retreated into herself, reaching out to her cousin and her Uncle, numbly aware that Ben was nowhere to be found in the Force, and offering them all the comfort that she could nevertheless. Luke didn’t respond but Jaina sensed the pain and disbelief and sorrow rolling off him like waves in the Force. Jacen had shaken the unshakable; Luke was a broken man now, deprived of the only thing in the universe, save Ben, that he loved more than life itself. Coming out of hyperspace in the Hapes cluster, Jaina glanced over at the other XJ7’s cockpit, straining to see the form of her Uncle Luke through the buffer of space. What she saw frightened her. Luke was bent over his controls, his head in his hands, weeping. His shoulders shook each time he took a breath, which was terribly rare. He must have sensed Jaina’s gaze upon him, for his head shot up and he gave her a reproachful glare for intruding on his grief. Jaina flinched and immediately regretted looking at him, but his anger was short-lived. He definitely didn’t have his wife’s steel-edged temper. Within moments he had regained his composure and given Jaina a stern nod, his inner misery covered up with a mask of self-control and stoic determination. He brushed the tears from his cheeks with one hand, signaling for Jaina to make an approach towards Hapes with the other. Jaina nodded in compliance and gritted her teeth. She wiped her cheeks with the sleeve of her flight suit and fisted the tears from her eyes with her balled up fist. Suddenly she hated Jacen more than anything she had ever hated before. He had just torn apart two families without a care. He had murdered in cold blood a woman who had done nothing to but stand-up for and protect him for decades. He had broken something inside of Jaina, and something inside every member of her family. They would tear themselves apart over this. Her parents would be heartbroken. Her Uncle would have to go on without the love of his life, something Jaina wasn’t so sure he could accomplish. And Ben. Ben, at the tender age of fourteen, would have to live with the knowledge that someone who he trusted and looked up to, someone who was everything he wanted to be, had betrayed him. Had destroyed his family and murdered his icon of beauty and grace. Had taken his mother from him in a way only a true monster could. No. They couldn’t find out. Not now. Not yet. It was too soon. If she were to be the ‘Sword of the Jedi’ it was about time she took the title seriously. No more fooling around. She would cut Jacen down. She wouldn’t let her loved ones suffer any more. As his twin, it would be her burden to bear. No one would have to know until after the fact. She owed it to the woman who had played so many different and equally important roles in her life; her Aunt, her mentor, her friend. She owed it to Mara not to bring any more suffering and pain to her family. There would be no redemption for Jacen. The brother she knew was dead. Part of him died on Myrkr. The rest died with Mara. And there would be hell to pay. Jaina would see to it. END- 1/? -----signature----- Proud Padawan to KrystalBlaze and NYCitygurl. Reparation: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/26883466 "What happened to you, and where should we send the flowers for the other guy?"
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loneastronomer Registered: Feb '05	Date Posted: 6/8/07 4:00pm Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina POV, Sacrifice Spoilers
	FINALLY, someone got it exactly right. Excellent and touching Jaina-finally-grows-up story. applauds (That "Luke will crush you" line... is my favourite from the whole book, and fits in perfectly here. Well done.) -----signature----- One Sword Rising http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/26387589/p1/?3 “I have a bad feeling about this,” Jag warned, pinching the bridge of his nose. Wedge grinned. "Are you kidding? That's the sign that things are finally going right!"
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G__Anakin Registered: Apr '06	Date Posted: 6/8/07 4:02pm Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina POV, Sacrifice Spoilers
	Wow! Great job! Can I have PMs when you update? -----signature----- Knighted by Courtney_Solo - - - My fanfic - - - Jedi Sith - http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=26751105&brd=10476&start=26759554
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Jinn_Soresom Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 6/8/07 4:13pm Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina POV, Sacrifice Spoilers
	Wow...you write with such vivid prose...I actually found myself moved for the Skywalker-Solo family. Caedus. Jaina should castrate him. -----signature----- "Nihilistic little bastard, isn't he?" Kyp Durron, speaking about Darth Caedus. Anakin pointed his lightsaber towards Darth Caedus. "You." Jacen smiled and bowed. "Me." Anakin struck. VERSUS: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27412705/p1/?
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lizodessky Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 6/8/07 8:55pm Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina POV, Sacrifice Spoilers - Date Edited: 6/14/07 7:15pm (2 edits total) Edited By: lizodessky
	loneastronomer FINALLY, someone got it exactly right. Excellent and touching Jaina-finally-grows-up story. applauds bows Thank you! Next to Mara, Jaina is my favorite character; so I've been pretty dissapointed by her lack of 'screen time' in LotF. Especally at the end of Sacrifice. It really irked me that they didn't really show her reaction to Mara's death. She would be huting almost as much as Luke- I always thought that she and Mara would be closer than most normal Padawan/Master duos, and moreso even than most Aunts and Neices. (That "Luke will crush you" line... is my favourite from the whole book, and fits in perfectly here. Well done.) That was my favorite line as well; I just had to include it. Our Mara, steadfast and stubborn to the last. G__Anakin Wow! Great job! Thank you! bows Can I have PMs when you update? Actually, this is kind of a one-shot. But I would be happy to PM you the next time I post a fic. If thats alright with you. Jinn_Soresom Wow...you write with such vivid prose...I actually found myself moved for the Skywalker-Solo family. Thank you very much! bows Most fan fictions I have read concerning Mara's death focus mainly on Luke and Ben, which is understandable, but the rest of the family is hurting as well. Expecally, in my opinion, Jaina. She and Mara were extremly close- even for family and a Master/Apprentice duos. Caedus. Jaina should castrate him. My thoughts exactly. I don't care if they are twins, Jaina isn't going to take this lightly. She has too much of her grandparents in her to just sit around. -----signature----- Proud Padawan to KrystalBlaze and NYCitygurl. Reparation: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/26883466 "What happened to you, and where should we send the flowers for the other guy?"
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JediVegeta Registered: Dec '00	Date Posted: 6/8/07 9:25pm Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina POV, Sacrifice Spoilers
	Excellent. Really, not a big EU fan, so when people would say that Jaina should take down Jacen, I was really not seeing exactly why. I know the whole, "Sword of the Jedi", thing, but really, I always thought Luke, Ben or Leia should. But yet, no. Thanks to this vig, I am changing my mind. I think you wrote a very good portrayal of Jaina and like another poster stated, a great Jaina grows up vig. I hope her character in the EU becomes better. I liked this story very much! I hope she DOES take him out now. He is scum and a coward. Poison dart... Uh...keep it up! -----signature----- JOIN THE MUFFIN SIDE DEXTER!!!! Igiari!!!!
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lizodessky Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 6/9/07 10:07am Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina POV, Sacrifice Spoilers - Date Edited: 6/14/07 7:17pm (2 edits total) Edited By: lizodessky
	JediVegeta Excellent. Really, not a big EU fan, so when people would say that Jaina should take down Jacen, I was really not seeing exactly why. I know the whole, "Sword of the Jedi", thing, but really, I always thought Luke, Ben or Leia should. Thats what a lot of people say, but I honestly can't see Luke killing his nephew, Leia killing her son, or Ben killing anyone else, thanks to the Gejjen fiasco. But yet, no. Thanks to this vig, I am changing my mind. I think you wrote a very good portrayal of Jaina and like another poster stated, a great Jaina grows up vig. I hope her character in the EU becomes better. I liked this story very much! bows That is what I aim for. Like I said earlier, Jaina really needs to get some more screen time in the LotF series and the death of her Master is a perfect opportunity. I hope she DOES take him out now. He is scum and a coward. Poison dart... Ohhh, you have no idea how ticked I was about the death-by-poison thing. In a fair fight, Mara would have wiped the floor with Jacen. Uh...keep it up! Of course I shall. -----signature----- Proud Padawan to KrystalBlaze and NYCitygurl. Reparation: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/26883466 "What happened to you, and where should we send the flowers for the other guy?"
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divapilot Registered: Nov '05	Date Posted: 6/9/07 1:46pm Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina POV, Sacrifice Spoilers
	First of all, welcome to the boards! I'm looking forward to more from you! This was terrific. I miss Jaina myself, and you're right, she seems to have taken a powder in the last 10 years when she should have been taking control. Now she sees things clearly and understands why no one else is able to reign Jacen in but her. Beautifully written and very intense. -----signature----- Never tell me the odds. AKL "Beyond the Wall" http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28964433/p1/?6 The Society for Girls Who Like Things that Go Boom. (M. Corde, Pres.) "This is your badness level." ~ Lilo!
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 6/9/07 7:02pm Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina POV, Sacrifice Spoilers
	Bravo! I loved it! I know that Sacrifice will inspire many works, and I can't imagine that they'll get any better than this. There would be no redemption for Jacen. The brother she knew was dead. Part of him died on Myrkr. The rest died with Mara. And there would be hell to pay. Jaina would see to it. The ending was absolutely perfect! -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
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lizodessky Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 6/10/07 9:06pm Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina POV, Sacrifice Spoilers - Date Edited: 6/11/07 8:15am (2 edits total) Edited By: lizodessky
	divapilot First of all, welcome to the boards! I'm looking forward to more from you! Well, there will certainly be more from me in the near future. Mainly thinks to the reception that I've received. This was terrific. I miss Jaina myself, and you're right, she seems to have taken a powder in the last 10 years when she should have been taking control. Now she sees things clearly and understands why no one else is able to reign Jacen in but her. Thank you! Jaina needs to take charge, because at this rate she'll likely be the one of the council members (if not the Grand Master) of the next generation of Jedi, and something like her master being axed is definetly going to provoke more of a reaction than the little we were privy to in Sacrifice. Beautifully written and very intense. Yet again, thank you! VaderLVR64 Bravo! I loved it! I know that Sacrifice will inspire many works, and I can't imagine that they'll get any better than this. Thank you very much! And here I was, thinking it was utter crap. It took a couple of reviews to change my mind. The ending was absolutely perfect! I'm partial to the ending myself. Those few lines are actually one of the first things I wrote- I tend to write my fics in random order. -----signature----- Proud Padawan to KrystalBlaze and NYCitygurl. Reparation: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/26883466 "What happened to you, and where should we send the flowers for the other guy?"
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mrjop2 Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 6/10/07 9:15pm Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina POV, Sacrifice Spoilers
	Awesome! Very emotional, powerful, Just plain out good job! You have a talent for writting. I was going to welcome you here, and give you a suggestion to get more reviews, and make more friends here, get involved with the forums and read other works and give them reviews. However, you are off to a fantastic start so... Welcome! -----signature----- The New Generation of Jedi: Jedi Generations: Rebirth http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28502675/p1/?1
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padawanlost Registered: Apr '06	Date Posted: 6/10/07 9:24pm Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina POV, Sacrifice Spoilers
	This is an amazing start (I hope) to a really fabulous fic. You brought Jaina to life with incredible grace and strength, qualities I feel that profic has not given her credit for in a long time. You also managed to make her responsible streak come out again, and as another comment said, made a wonderful "Jaina finally grows up" story. Its about time we got some more great Jaina stories around here. At this point, it would be too hard for the family to take that kind of news. I think you really might be on to what Jaina's profic future has in store. I can't wait to see her go after him. So if you are planning on continuing this, please add me to any PM list you should decide to keep. -----signature----- e-married to rebel_cheese , so read his stuff or else Padawan of NYCitygurl Proud member of Charon Force. Check out our NJO AU: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27537567/p1/?23
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lizodessky Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 6/11/07 10:10am Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina POV, Sacrifice Spoilers - Date Edited: 6/11/07 10:39pm (3 edits total) Edited By: lizodessky
	mrjop2 Awesome! Very emotional, powerful, Just plain out good job! You have a talent for writting. Thank you! I like to think of writing as my strong suit. It makes up for my lack of physical ability. I was going to welcome you here, and give you a suggestion to get more reviews, and make more friends here, get involved with the forums and read other works and give them reviews. However, you are off to a fantastic start so... Welcome! Thank you again! padawanlost This is an amazing start (I hope) to a really fabulous fic. Ah, you all keep nudgin me in that direction... You brought Jaina to life with incredible grace and strength, qualities I feel that profic has not given her credit for in a long time. You also managed to make her responsible streak come out again, and as another comment said, made a wonderful "Jaina finally grows up" story. Its about time we got some more great Jaina stories around here. shakes her fist at the profic Thats the main reason I wrote this. It pleases me to know that I do a good job writing Jaina; while Mara is my favorite, I enjoy writing Jaina the most. At this point, it would be too hard for the family to take that kind of news. I think you really might be on to what Jaina's profic future has in store. I hope so. She needs some more action. I highly doubt that with everything else going on in her family at the moment she would pile the knowledge of Mara's murderer on them; especally not on her parents, Luke, or Ben. I can't wait to see her go after him. So if you are planning on continuing this, please add me to any PM list you should decide to keep. Well, several people keep pushing me towards continuing. Even so, I'm hesitant to do so; I've never been one to drag fics out and I'm afraid of ruining what I've already got. But, the plot bunnies are driving me crazy- so consider yourself added to the PM list. -----signature----- Proud Padawan to KrystalBlaze and NYCitygurl. Reparation: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/26883466 "What happened to you, and where should we send the flowers for the other guy?"
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lizodessky Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 6/11/07 10:00pm Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina POV, Sacrifice Spoilers - Date Edited: 6/11/07 10:38pm (1 edits total) Edited By: lizodessky
	Ok folks, here is how it goes. At first, Reparation was meant as a short one-shot depicting Jaina’s reaction to the death of her former master. However, due to the large positive response (this is the most reviews I've ever had for a fic), I am going to turn Reparation into a multi-chapter/short story. How many chapters it will eventually consist of I do not know, and I can tell you right now that it will probably not have a posting schedule; but you very likely will, muses willing, get a chapter a week update. If you didn’t notice before, my original one-shot only had two lines of dialogue. That is because I am not exactly great at writing it, so please bear with me. I must give props to padawanlost, and G__Anakin for gently prodding me in the direction of continuing. PM List so far G__Anakin padawanlost Chapter II will be here before the end of the week, muses willing. -----signature----- Proud Padawan to KrystalBlaze and NYCitygurl. Reparation: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/26883466 "What happened to you, and where should we send the flowers for the other guy?"
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padawanlost Registered: Apr '06	Date Posted: 6/12/07 12:32am Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina's POV, Sacrifice Spoilers, Author's Update added 6/12
	Way to go! I'm really excited that you've decided to keep this going. My first epic here started as a short story, so muses have a tendency to do these kinds of things I'm looking forward to more. -----signature----- e-married to rebel_cheese , so read his stuff or else Padawan of NYCitygurl Proud member of Charon Force. Check out our NJO AU: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27537567/p1/?23
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BrentusofGath Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 6/12/07 2:09am Subject: RE: Reparation- Jaina's POV, Sacrifice Spoilers, Author's Update added 6/12
	The thought made her sick, a sense of self-loathing overwhelming her. Failing to save someone. Hmmm, let's see who that reminds me of. I know! Anakin Skywalker! Sounds like Jaina may be headed in the right direction. She felt the sickening urge to strike something, to kill someone; she didn't care who it was, all she knew was that someone had to pay. Yessss yes! Strike out. Crush someone mercilessly for the crime of your dead aunt. Make someone pay dearly for your pain! There had to be something she could do. Come to the Dark Side - we have free wine coolers! He had broken something inside of Jaina, and something inside every member of her family. And now it's time for revenge! Swift, blind, hateful revenge! No more fooling around. She would cut Jacen down. Strike your twin down with all your hatred and your journey toward the Dark Side will be complete! I'm liking where this is headed. No doubt Jacen will be eager to convert his sister. Please add me to your pm list! -----signature----- In time or so I'm told, I'm just another soul for sale, oh well Feel it in my bones when you break my back, break it just to watch me bend Why'd you have to go and Let it Die? -Foo Fighters http://conscienceoftheking.blogspot.com/
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