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Author	Topic: Talon Intelligence Squadron: Not Always As They Seem (Book One) - COMPLETED: 05 MAY 2008
Mara Jade, Emperor's Hand Registered: Nov '99	Date Posted: 2/28 6:57pm Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 02/28 - Who Are These Psychos Pretending to Be Heroes?)
	Thank you for making the change to Danya's dialogue, Trika... that's much more how I imagine the character sounding. Really appreciate it. Very excited to see how well this is shaping up so far. You're definitely doing a great job establishing the characters and the situations. -----signature----- Still flyin'.
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Darth Agent Mulder Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 2/29 4:48am Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 02/28 - Who Are These Psychos Pretending to Be Heroes?)
	It wasn’t a skill I was authorized to perform, and I lost all of the time I had in the mechanic’s rate. He had even requested that Flight Officers Kai, Muir, and Rinani refrain from calling "attention on deck" when he had entered because he was pretty sure the group would have botched the display, anyway. I'm really impressed with how "military" it all sounds and feels so far, and knowing what's in store, I'm glad that kind of realism remains solid throughout the story. Getting these little items right really sets the story apart from someone just guessing how it all works. I like it. -----signature----- éí 'aaníígÓÓ 'áhoot'é evil dude and all around ladies' man from the Talon Intelligence Squadron series
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silverfighter Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 2/29 7:48am Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 02/28 - Who Are These Psychos Pretending to Be Heroes?)
	I love all their reasons for why they're in the Talons! But why am I getting the feeling that a lot of them are going to utterly loathe each other really soon? Thanks for the PM! ~Silverfighter -----signature----- My Dear McClellan: If you are not using the army, I should like to borrow it for a short while. Yours respectfully, Abraham Lincoln Completely failed at NaNoWriMo.
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Philomena Registered: Feb '08	Date Posted: 2/29 2:40pm Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 02/28 - Who Are These Psychos Pretending to Be Heroes?)
	Wow, I'm hooked on this fic already! The descriptions, the characters, and the storyline just seem to pull you right in. Poor Kevin- the Talons sure need some shaping up! I definitely want to stay around for this. Could I be put on the PM list please? Philly -----signature----- WARNING: Unsocialized homeschooler. Communicate at your own risk.
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_Derisa_Ollamhin_ Registered: Jul '00	Date Posted: 2/29 3:22pm Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 02/28 - Who Are These Psychos Pretending to Be Heroes?)
	Brilliant work, all. So wonderful to read the story again, from the start, and polished up so carefully to a nice sheen. Thank you! It is with a flare of dull sadness I read words I know Kevin set down all those years ago... I know he would have wanted to see his work, his dream live on. You've done a great job, preserving this irreplaceable chapter of SW fandom. Thank you, again. /sniff -----signature----- In memoriam: Talon Squad Leader . When you can't run anymore, you crawl and when you can't do that...well, you know the rest. . Clear skies, General. You will be missed.
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Trika_Kenobi Registered: Nov '99	Date Posted: 2/29 7:10pm Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 02/28 - Who Are These Psychos Pretending to Be Heroes?)
	silver, there's gonna be a lot of good drama, and plenty of hatred to go around soon. You're definitely right about that prediction! Thanks for reading... you're going to love chapter two. Philomena, thanks for stopping by! You've been added to the PM list and will get a fresh PM and post this upcoming Monday. Things are just getting started, so buckle that seatbelt of yours and enjoy! Thanks for reading, all. Again, this is merely the beginning to an awesome saga, so hold on tight! -----signature----- http://www.TalonIntelligenceSquadron.com/thenest proud oldbie master to GIRLSOLO
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StarscreamPrime Registered: Dec '06	Date Posted: 3/2 4:54am Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 02/28 - Who Are These Psychos Pretending to Be Heroes?)
	Trika_Kenobi posted: Thanks for reading, all. Again, this is merely the beginning to an awesome saga, so hold on tight! That's putting it lightly... This project, what I've been taking in outside of this thread, and reviewing again in "polished" form in this thread, is so jam-PACKED with awesome-sauce, that it may be removed from the market by the Health Commission, at some point. So grab it while you can! LOL Nice work, once more! -----signature----- You Don't Want To Be A Nerd... Or, Heaven Forbid, A POINDEXTER. Do yourself a favor, and check out the Talon Intelligence Squad, already! You'll be happier that you did!
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Blue_Lightsaber42 Registered: Dec '07	Date Posted: 3/2 11:53am Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 02/28 - Who Are These Psychos Pretending to Be Heroes?)
	silverfighter posted: Wooow, Trika was right, I wasn't disappointed! This is going to turn out verrry interesting, methinks. Agreed. Please send me a PM? -----signature----- SSEoCDaC/PFEEoCDaC,BDTAT "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." -Ford Prefect Co-Founder of the Rebellion Proud Master of DarthAnakin101 and Ithonya from Trika-> //hug
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Trika_Kenobi Registered: Nov '99	Date Posted: 3/2 5:17pm Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 02/28 - Who Are These Psychos Pretending to Be Heroes?)
	Starscream, awesome-sauce, eh? I hope it's not made by a certain Talon cook, whom we'll meet soon. That would be a good reason to get it taken off the market rather quickly! Blue, thanks for stopping by! And of course I'm right! Why would you think any differently? You've been added to the PM list, so you'll get to enjoy the ride and see how right Trika always is. New update tomorrow, folks. We're going to meet a certain drill sergeant who should probably be confined to a HAZMAT quarantine! Get ready for training! -----signature----- http://www.TalonIntelligenceSquadron.com/thenest proud oldbie master to GIRLSOLO
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Fel_Freak228 Registered: Nov '07	Date Posted: 3/2 7:26pm Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 02/28 - Who Are These Psychos Pretending to Be Heroes?)
	Wow this is great!! Thanks again for the tip, Trika! Get me on that PM list!!!....please? -----signature----- In the end, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength. ~F.A.D.A FTW~ "No we can't follow rules that's against our rules!"
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Trika_Kenobi Registered: Nov '99	Date Posted: 3/3 11:37am Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 02/28 - Who Are These Psychos Pretending to Be Heroes?)
	Felf, Trika never steers anyone wrong. You've been added to the PM list. Update shortly. Just tweaking the last bits of the markup code. You all are in for a treat! -----signature----- http://www.TalonIntelligenceSquadron.com/thenest proud oldbie master to GIRLSOLO
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Trika_Kenobi Registered: Nov '99	Date Posted: 3/3 11:56am Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 03/03 - This Guy Should Be Confined to a HAZMAT Quarantine! - Date Edited: 11/13 7:22pm (3 edits total) Edited By: Trika_Kenobi
	Chapter Two: "This assignment is as good as any, I guess." As promised, an hour before dawn, the Talons were dressed and ready to go, lined up for the first day of whatever Kevin Ski had in store. The captain entered promptly, followed by a disgustingly abnormal human male whose hairy, pockmarked face implied that he had been nursed on flash grenades as a child. Ski had a clipboard in one hand and began to call out the roster. The tradition of the roll call almost made Ski want to remember the moment, but then he remembered exactly where he was and with whom he was dealing. The feeling left rather suddenly. "Danya Faithwood?" he called. The woman answered loudly to begin the listing at Talon Two. "Kendrick Quinn? Quis Heartilly? Jaren Kai?" All were met with shouts of acknowledgment. "Telia Aris?" Ski called for Talon Six. There was no answer save for the burst of a rushed human female through the training room doors. "Telia Aris, you are late," he informed her, as if she could not tell by the stares from her squadmates. "Sir, the alarm in my room doesn’t work properly," she dared to state. "I overslept, sir." "Remember to arrive in the mess hall with the other Talons for kitchen duty with Sergeant Bullwinkle after dinner tonight," an unconcerned Ski said, marking something down on his clipboard. A slight snicker came from the side of the line, and the captain, seeing nothing funny about anything, looked up from his writing to gaze at one of his own. "Would you like to tell me what you think is so funny, Lieutenant Flynn?" Talon Sixteen snickered some more. "What kind of a name is Bullwinkle?" he asked, drawing another chuckle from one of the women next to him. The dirty and quite scary man next to Captain Ski stood up straight and cocked an eyebrow as he spoke around a half-chewed cigar. "My gre’-gran’pappy ga’ me tha’ name, boy, an’ ain’t nobody tryin’ to undo wha’ he’d done, ya hear?" Apparently, no one quite understood what the sergeant had said, so the only response that ensued was silence. Captain Ski let out a held breath and shook his head. He didn’t want to think about the repulsive man supporting his entire base’s supply needs. "Sixteen, you’ll be joining the team in the mess hall as well." "Rubi Jais? Mekial Yrisar? Jane Muir? Stone Talson?" Ski stopped cold, only a small part of his mind checking off the acknowledgements of those named. Stone Talson? Wait, that can’t be... "Talson, please don’t try telling me that 'Stone' is your actual first name?" "No, sir. It’s not," came the reply from the combat expert. "It’s a nickname I picked up during boot camp; my last CO didn’t even bother learning my real first name, so I doubt he’d have thought to put it in my file, sir." Ski sighed and shook his head. "That makes as much sense as everything else around here. Your real first name, Stone?" "Janus, sir." Captain Ski jotted down the information, then made as if to continue down the line. That little itch of curiosity nagged at him, however. He just had to ask even though he knew it would be utterly pointless. "Talson, how the hell did you end up with that for a nickname?" Stone remained completely blank-faced as he answered. "It depends on who you ask, sir. I insist it refers to my attitude under fire; my cadre insisted it referred to my skull." Chuckles ensued down the line of Talons. Ski reserved one for himself as he massaged the bridge of his nose. "Let’s hope for the former, Stone," he replied, looking up and continuing down the line. "Trika Adair? Milan Lirac? Kithera Rinani? Kaiba Cloudrifter? Rinin Altura?" The responses came back quickly and efficiently. "And we all know that Ty Flynn is here because he has the best sense of humor out of all of us," he said, drawing a few smiles and some chuckling from his group. His sixteen-member roster filled out nicely, and as he scanned them over a couple of times, he could tell exactly who his time bombs were and who his psychotic cases were. He could tell who would be in his office frequently for anger issues and who would be in the kitchen for discipline issues. He noted the abundance of women in his lineup, but he also knew most of his group was as qualified as any in the galaxy. The group as a whole could be united, he knew, but he had his work cut out for him. "This is how we run Talon Squad, ladies and gentlemen," Captain Ski announced to his group. Tossing the clipboard to Sergeant Bullwinkle, he began to pace the line in front of them. "Sixteen members will be divided into groups according to specialty. We may be moving some of you around once we get done with basic training, but until that time, our tentative roster should do fine. I’ve analyzed our needs and our abilities and think that we will match up and perform well. "I lead Talon Squad, but I would be a sithspawn if you think I’m staying behind to enjoy the luxury of our facilities," he continued, getting the few chuckles he wanted. The facilities around them were not entirely for the rich and famous. "I will closely work with the operations team, Talons Lead through Four. Lieutenant Jaren Kai is the lead for the support team, Talons Five through Eight. Lieutenant Jane Muir will lead the intrusions team, Talons Nine through Twelve. Lieutenant Kithera Rinani will lead Talons Thirteen through Sixteen as the second operations team. The squadron will need to be expanded eventually, and I’m hoping for another four members to round out Talons Seventeen through Twenty, the second support team. I hope that they’ll be arriving very soon so they don’t get too far behind. "We are all paired in addition to having our specific team," Ski said. "The roster begins with the pairing of yours truly and Faithwood and ends with Altura and Flynn. You’ll figure out that we are all partnered either with a common skill, a complementary skill, or because I figured the personalities would work well together. For the first few exercises, team leaders are responsible for their team’s finish, but we will be training for the individual first. Talon Squad is only going to be as solid as its weakest member, so I’d encourage you all to take these drills seriously." The captain gave a short nod to the sergeant named Bullwinkle and took his place, as a Talon, at the very end of the line. Perhaps the rest of the Talons will feel a sense of unity for the first time, Ski thought. He had understood from Jaren and Kithera’s morning report that the briefing room tactic he had used to get his people to talk had not worked out so well the night before. Unity wasn’t exactly a high priority for his people at that point, and that would definitely have to change. "All right, ya grunts," a loud, obnoxious voice interrupted any other possible thought. "It’s time fer a li’l trainin’ session with ol’ Floreverus Bullwinkle. On my whistle, wind sprints, an’ no slackin’." To the dismay of everyone, he went through with his threat and blew his whistle. A few Talons started off quickly, but more than half hesitated, wondering if all of this was some kind of twisted joke. Wind sprints? Floreverus Bullwinkle? By the time Bullwinkle was done with training, however, everyone understood that his training sessions were no joke. Captain Ski stepped forward and retrieved his clipboard, nodding again to the oddly disgusting sergeant. A man at the upper echelons of fitness, Ski was still drawing breath quickly, along with the rest of his squad. Taking a good look around, though, he could tell who was out of shape and who was in his prime. Some of the Talons were going to need to be in the gym for longer periods of time than others. "We’re going to take a break until this afternoon," Kevin announced, and, much to his amusement, many of his squad breathed a sigh of relief. "You’ve already received most of the information about protocol and schedules, so I expect those to be read and understood at that time. When we return, we’ll be having some friendly competition between teams, so I hope that many of you will head down to the fifth floor lounge and meet the rest of your companions. While you’re down there, grab something to eat from the mess hall and be back in two hours." He scanned his group once more, pleased just to have a squad that was willing to train as hard as they all just had. "Am I understood?" "Yes, sir!" the response came back in one crisp yell. "Get out of here." Ski waved his hand toward the door and watched as his squadron left. Some rushed out, but others were unable to walk very fast due to some strain on their leg muscles. He simply chuckled. "They’re a funny-lookin’ group, eh, Cap’n?" Ski turned to regard Sergeant Bullwinkle. This guy has the right to call somebody "funny-looking?" "No," he answered instead, wondering where the Intelligence High Council had found this man. "No, I was just laughing because some of them are in an extraordinary amount of pain." "Bah!" Bullwinkle snorted, appearing to gather enough mucous to spit out. Ski jerked back reflexively, but Bullwinkle simply swallowed the mass in his throat and nodded. "I ain’t never killed anybody in training since I got booted from the Corellian 111th Infantry Division. They’ll be all right." As the sergeant turned to leave, Kevin pondered those last words, the disgusted look never leaving his face. He had put Bullwinkle in charge of not only training, but also all meals until Intel sent his squad a proper cook. He would be the only one touching and serving the food that his squadron was expected to eat. "I wonder what’s for lunch," he grimaced quietly, heading out the door. ********** The two snipers had noticed each other from the moment they had arrived on the fourth floor yesterday. Now, the two were sitting across from one another, only a table and two bottles of water between them. Nothing could keep her from throttling him if she really wanted to do so. "How did you get assigned here?" Jaren asked suspiciously, the stress of seeing her visibly contorting his face. "What’s that supposed to mean?" Telia’s tone was casual, but from the dangerous way she quirked her eyebrow, Jaren knew where this was headed. "It doesn’t mean anything, Tel," he sighed, taking a sip of water and breathing a little bit easier after the workout that morning. The action also conveniently gave him the time to calm his nerves. "You were supposed to be with the 108th Combat Division." "I was a transfer at the last moment," she explained, not even able to eye him correctly without first unclenching her jaw. "I simply got my orders and obeyed. I didn’t know you were keeping track of my duty assignments." Jaren ignored that last remark and continued on. "There wasn’t any notice or clues? No one mentioned why you were coming here?" The concept of sending someone to a position blind was a little odd to Jaren. For a brief, fleeting moment he thought he had pinpointed a possible setup. "No, Jaren," she sarcastically answered. "Does it always have to be my fault? Did anyone mention why you were sent here? Since when did you start questioning orders?" Jaren was about to retort, but stopped, understanding that this pairing was not going to work. If he didn’t do something about their issues, they both might bring the support team down and in turn, harm the squadron. Constant bickering was not conducive to a sharp squadron. After thinking on it for a moment, Jaren came to a conclusion. "This is exactly what they want us to be doing." "What the kriff are you talking about?" Telia demanded, her face exploding into fury. The young man straightened a bit and softened his gaze. "This is exactly what everyone expects from us in this position. I really can’t explain it, but I think we’ve been set up." "You’re telling me," she snorted, rolling her eyes. Her attention turned to the two human females standing right next to the sofas she and Jaren were occupying. The two ladies gawked at the apparent tension in the air. Lieutenant Kai stood and offered his hand to them. "You must be the other two support team members. Talons Seven and Eight, right?" One woman shoved her hand out first, obviously bold. "Mekial Yrisar, Talon Eight," she introduced herself. She was a petite woman with blue eyes and a zest for life to match her fiery hair. Her entire face lit up during their exchange. "I’ll be helping out with smuggling, disguise, spying, infiltration, and general elbow grease." "I’m pleased to meet you," Jaren returned her kindness, pleasantly surprised to at least have one woman on his team who didn’t hate his guts. "I’m Jaren Kai, Talon Five. This is Telia Aris," he gestured to his partner, who stood promptly and offered her own hand politely. "We’re going to be the snipers for the Talons." Mekial looked impressed and greeted Telia. Jaren looked to the other woman, who was much sterner than the joyful Mekial. She had even gotten in trouble for her seriousness the night before after snapping at Danya. "Rubi Jais, correct?" he ventured. The woman gave little more than a nod. "I'll be your espionage and infiltration expert," she said, then nodded to Telia, who was forcing a smile. "Are you sure you two are going to be the snipers for the Talons? It seems as if we walked in at just the right time." She was bolder than most subordinates; he'd give her that. "It's a long story," Jaren said simply, leaving it at that. He would save the details for Captain Ski at a later time. "Why don’t we sit down and get to know each other a little better so that we can move effectively against the other teams? I'm in the mood to make ourselves a prominent asset to Captain Ski in the coming competitions." ********** "And then I said, 'That's not a landspeeder, that's a 'fresher!'" Ty Flynn let his last joke fly, drawing a couple laughs and many more groans from the second operations team. "That's great, Ty." Lieutenant Kithera Rinani, the group’s leader, attempted to take back control of the meeting and not sound so bland at the same time. "That’s really great." The team had gathered at the other end of the lounge because the support team had already taken the comfortable sofas in the corner. She thought longingly for a moment about the worn sofas and shifted her weight on the hard floor. "Why don’t we talk about how we’re going to beat the other teams?" Kaiba Cloudrifter, yet another human female, spoke up. "Have you seen the crazies on the intrusion team? They might kill us." She appeared hyped on some form of caffeine. "Nobody’s going to kill anyone," Rinin Altura said, a little more cocky than necessary, as if he could stop the entire squad if needed. "We can take care of anything they throw at us." "Come on, guys," Kithera pleaded with her team. "Let’s just be friends for a few moments, all right?" She couldn’t explain why Talons Thirteen through Sixteen simply were not cooperating or behaving. "Ty, why don’t you tell us what your specialty is?" Talon Sixteen perked up, thoroughly ready to talk about himself. "Well, I'm a good pilot and mechanic. I can fix what I break and break what I fix," he said with a chuckle, his mop of brown hair swinging across his face. "Not if I break your face," Rinin responded under his breath. "Can't you be serious for one moment?" Kithera had heard, however. "Look, Fifteen, you'd better start getting along with at least your own partner or else this whole ordeal is going to be very unpleasant for you," she shot at him, a surprising move for the diminutive woman. Rinin turned silent once more and she switched her gaze to her own partner. "Kaiba, you’re a mechanic as well, right?" "I fix a lot more than just speeders and craft," Fourteen boasted. "I just don't have the nice degree and title that goes along with being an engineer." Kithera hesitated to ask Rinin anything, but she did. "Fifteen, Captain Ski kind of separated our skills, but you're a pretty talented weapon engineer and expert, I hear." "You heard correctly," he answered, then closed up again. "Well!" Kithera threw her hands up in disgust. "I think we're done here." -----signature----- http://www.TalonIntelligenceSquadron.com/thenest proud oldbie master to GIRLSOLO
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Darth McClain Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 3/3 1:04pm Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 03/03 - This Guy Should Be Confined to a HAZMAT Quarantine!
	It looks very nice, if I can say so myself. I really like the way the conversation between Stone and Kevin turned out. Nice work Trika and Stone! -----signature----- Once a Talon, always a Talon Talon Intelligence Squadron: Book 2! http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28489742 Tales from the Intelligence Gala! (TIS spin-off!) http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28600431
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Fel_Freak228 Registered: Nov '07	Date Posted: 3/3 1:34pm Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 03/03 - This Guy Should Be Confined to a HAZMAT Quarantine!
	LOL I nearly shot water out my nose when I read the conversation between Ski and Floreverus Bullwinkle!! Nice work!! -----signature----- In the end, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength. ~F.A.D.A FTW~ "No we can't follow rules that's against our rules!"
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JediXManSerenaKenobi Registered: Jul '07	Date Posted: 3/3 2:22pm Subject: RE: Talon Intelligence Squadron (UPDATED 03/03 - This Guy Should Be Confined to a HAZMAT Quarantine!
	Man, this one had me laughing! I'd like to see what Bullwinkle looks like! Lol! Great update, Trika! - Serena -----signature----- " 'Do you believe in God?' written on the bullet/ Say 'yes' to pull the trigger / And I will pull the trigger!" Talon Intelligence Squadron Artist! Talons rule! Proud member of Wrenga Jixton's Virtual Blondies! Christian=follower of Savior Jesus Christ
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