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Author	Topic: Walking the Sky- (Short stories about Ben) Ben Skywalker, minor AU third story up 6/29
Jedi_Latin_Student Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 3/11 11:52pm Subject: Walking the Sky- (Short stories about Ben) Ben Skywalker, minor AU third story up 6/29 - Date Edited: 6/29 9:31pm (3 edits total) Edited By: Jedi_Latin_Student
	I have recently been reading Rurouni Kenshin, and it made me think about all of the killing that jedi do in a new light. It made me wonder if all of it was really necessary, the Jedi are supposed to value life above all else, and sure, they do have their moments where they refuse to kill, but there are also so many times when they do kill, and they kill a lot, sure, they feel bad, but, the dead are still dead. No matter what a jedi may feel after the deed is done. So now... Justification: Justification: Part 1 Ben Skywalker was waiting. He bounced impatiently on the balls of his feet, paced the length of the small, windowless room, and finally, flopped down in one of the two available chairs provided. She was late. He glanced down at his comlink for what had to be the hundredth time and then stared off into the shadows cast by the single, dim overhead light. Waiting, he didn’t have time for waiting. Jacen had jobs for him to do. At the thought of another one of Jacen’s ‘jobs’, Ben felt his stomach twist painfully, it was only a shadow of the sick feeling he had gotten after his first assassination, but he took comfort in the fact that he even felt remorse anymore. There was a soft hiss as the door slid part way open and a slender, well muscled woman of about 5 foot 2, slipped through the small space provided. It was hard to tell her age in the dim light, but Ben knew she was somewhere in her early fifties. The shadows hid any wrinkles, laugh lines, he remembered she liked to call them, that she had acquired over the years. The silver that he knew streaked her red hair blended into the mass of dark strands that haloed her partially masked face. But Ben didn’t need the darkness to make his mother ageless. She was eternal in his eyes, always there, flawless. But by his own will, tonight, he would shatter that image of her. “You wanted to see me?” He asked her. His mother looked him over, taking in his GAG uniform, long hair and hard expression. “What has Jacen done to you?” she asked, the question coming out in a choked whisper. Ben considered his answer carefully, wondering how he should answer his mother. Did he even know exactly what Jacen had done to him? Or what he had done to himself? “He… made me grow up.” “You’re 15 Ben, you don’t need to be grown up.” “I didn’t agree to meet with you to discuss my past choices in life, mom.” Mara stiffened and Ben could imagine her soft expression, reserved only for him and his father, melting into a hard mask, similar to the one he wore now. Like mother, like son. “So why did you agree? I just want to talk to you Ben.” Ben didn’t say anything for a long time. He stared at his mother, wanting to ask her, but holding back, he wanted to keep his illusions tightly in his grasp for a few last precious seconds before he shattered them. “How old were you when you first ended a life, mom?” His mother blinked, taken aback by the suddenness of the question. “How old…?” she repeated to herself. “I was eight.” She said, slowly. “Eight?” He hadn’t expected her to have been so young. “Her name was Ai’yun, she was a pet I had made out of some feline type animal I picked up off the Coruscant streets. She was hit by a speeder. Palpatine wouldn’t pay for medical treatment, refused to have her treated at all, forbade it. I was putting her out of her misery. I think it was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.” “Is that how you justify it?” “What?” His mother was surprised again, what had she expected from him? Sympathy? She had killed her own pet. A creature that was depending on her for protection and care. “That it was for her own good? You had no other choice?” He continued. He knew he was probably being unfair. His mother had only been eight. But she had willingly taken that life. She had ended Ai’yun. “What do you want me to say Ben? I can’t cry over her forever, its done, in the past.” “And how will you atone?” Mara was silent for a long while, thinking, Ben wondered if she was reliving that first death, “I don’t know if I can. But Ben, why? Why now? What purpose do you have for knowing this? How will it help you?” She looked him over again, seeking answers in his appearance, and then in his face, his eyes. She paled visibly in the dim light. “An assassin?” She whispered. Ben couldn’t look at her. “It’s for the good of the galaxy…” He said weakly into the darkness over his mother’s shoulder. He met her eyes, “Jacen says.” He added. His mother looked sad, so sad. And so tired, all of her years seemed to come crashing down on her shoulders at that moment. “Well,” she murmured, so quiet, Ben almost missed it, “Jacen doesn’t know everything, does he?” Ben was about to answer when his comlink beeped. He looked at it. Jacen “It’s him, isn’t it?” Ben said nothing. “Don’t answer it,” she begged, “Please.” “For their own good, for the good of the galaxy, I’m a government officer, I haven’t got a choice.” He met her pleading green gave with his icy bleu one. “By your justification, there is nothing wrong with this.” “There is everything wrong with it!” Ben held up one finger, asking for silence, Mara snapped her mouth shut, clenching her jaw. “Skywalker here.” Ben said into the device, “Yessir.” He clipped the comlink back onto his belt. “I have to go.” He told his mother. “Ben…” “And,” he said over his shoulder on the way out the door, “No, Jacen doesn’t know everything.” Through his mother, he could find justification, and perhaps some comfort. But it was not enough. ~~~~ Justification: Part 2 Ben cautiously approached his father’s meditating form. He wondered if Mara had told Luke about what Ben had said to her when he had met with her three days ago. “Ben.” Luke acknowledged him without even turning around. Ben felt oddly stung at this lack of attention. “Dad,” He answered in his most withdrawn tone. The result was as Ben had expected, and sought. Luke Skywalker turned to face his son, concern etched across his worn features. “Jacen said you wanted to speak with me.” Ben continued. Staring his father in the eyes. “I want you to resign.” Luke said, bluntly. “You mean you want me to quit.” “No…” “Give up.” Ben ignored Luke, “stop fighting for what I believe is right.” “Ben, I didn’t mean it that way.” “What other way can you mean it?” Exasperated, Luke said, “Alright, I want you to quit, Jacen is dangerous. Mara said he has you… he has you…” Luke couldn’t finish. “He has me…? What? Say it, dad. He has me kill people. He has me end lives for political gain, for the good of the galaxy.” “Killing people is never ‘good’, Ben.” “You kill.” Luke looked lost for a moment, like he didn’t know how to answer that, he probably didn’t, Ben thought. “Yes,” he said, drawing the word out, “I kill, when it’s necessary.” “So do I.” “What?” “I kill, when it’s necessary. How many people have I saved, when I go and do Jacen’s business?” Luke was looking in astonishment at his son. Ben expected that he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “How many people did you save when you blew up the Death Star?” Ben asked. “Thousands, if not millions,” Luke whispered, a shadow of pain flickering across his face. Ben paused, “How many did you kill?” “Thousands, millions? So many…” “Was it worth it? The price you paid to be the Rebellion’s hero?” “I didn’t kill those soldiers to be a hero, Ben. I did it to protect people.” “Do you think,” Ben asked, “that if you had really tried, you could have gotten rid of the Death Star without mass murder?” Luke thought that over for a long time, a time that Ben spent searching his father’s face, intently looking for any clue to the answer he was searching for. “No.” Luke finally said, “I don’t think we could have ended that without killing.” “Do you feel bad?” “Of course.” Luke answered; surprised that Ben would even ask that. “Would you trade your life to bring the ones you killed back?” “No.” Luke’s response was immediate, “but I will work every day to make that killing mean something, to make it worth something.” Ben decided that he was finally ready to ask his father the hardest question he had. The one that would decide what Ben was when he left his parent’s apartments. “When you think about killing,” Ben asked slowly, “how are the Jedi and Sith different?” Luke blinked, he had not been expecting that. Ben could tell. “Is it because Jedi feel remorse afterwards and the Sith supposedly don’t? Because at least one flaw in that is that the dead can hardly care, dead is dead, emotions of the murderer aside.” “A Jedi seeks to end conflict without killing.” Luke said, firmly clinging to his beliefs, but finding that Ben’s question awakened many questions that he himself had asked so many times, “But,” he continued, “that doesn’t really answer your question, I don’t know if there is an answer, because honestly, I don’t know what a Sith feels after killing.” “Jacen was sad.” Ben said, quietly. Luke almost didn’t hear. Luke’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Jacen isn’t a Sith.” Ben could nearly see the panic that rose up in Luke as his father began to doubt his words. “Maybe not,” Luke visibly slumped in relief, “but can you honestly say that he is a Jedi anymore?” Ben asked. Luke pursed his lips and frowned, not liking this idea, it was one he had thought over and meditated on for hours on end, but still, he had no answers when it came to his nephew. “No, I don’t think he is, though there are those that would disagree with me.” “So how do you Justify it? How do you make it not hurt every time you end something with your own blade?” “You don’t,” Luke whispered, “you…” he paused, as if he hated himself for what he was about to say, “You live with it.” Ben couldn’t find any response to that, couldn’t say anything at all that would make everything alright. The silence that stretched between father and son and swelled to fill the room was not an uncomfortable one. Each was lost in his own thoughts, answering their own questions. Finding their own justification. Finally Ben stood and said, “I can’t do that, I can’t just live with it.” He saw fear flash through his father’s eyes, fear for Ben’s life. Ben laughed a little to himself, suicide was not an option he was considering. Luke seemed to have discarded that notion as well, as he appeared relaxed and curious in the next instant. “What will you do?” He asked his son. Ben turned to leave smiling to himself, content in his decision, “You’ll see.” ~~~~ Jacen would not be happy with this decision, Ben knew. Ben would have a hard time adjusting to it, have a hard time getting used to the fact that he would never be able to hold a lightsaber in his hands again. Perhaps he could invent the first non-lethal lightsaber. He smiled, for now, he would have to content himself with a stun pistol and… maybe, maybe a blunt sword, archaic as those were. Ben looked at his hands, they were bloodstained enough. These hands will do no more killing. ~~~*~ ~Latin Geek -----signature----- Book Worm Here Rebirth: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27963427&brd=10477&start=27997657 Footprints in Ashes of a World Long Forgotten: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=21698899&brd=10477&start=21701989
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Jedi_Latin_Student Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 3/12 8:40pm Subject: RE: Justification- Ben Skywalker, minor AU (Ben wants to know the worth of killing) OneShot
	hmm, no takers? Ah, well... better luck next time. ~Latin Geek -----signature----- Book Worm Here Rebirth: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27963427&brd=10477&start=27997657 Footprints in Ashes of a World Long Forgotten: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=21698899&brd=10477&start=21701989
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Jade_Skywalker Registered: Jun '00	Date Posted: 3/12 8:52pm Subject: RE: Justification- Ben Skywalker, minor AU (Ben wants to know the worth of killing) OneShot
	That was very interesting. I can see how Ben was so torn. Deep down he knew that what he was doing was wrong, but then, all of his family has had their share of killing. I can imagine that it would be difficult to see where the line between right and wrong would be drawn. A very thin line, indeed. This piece was well written. I enjoyed it. -----signature----- What might have happened if the reborn Emperor had not been destroyed? Deception's Poison, Love's Balm (post Dark Empire AU) http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28141525&brd=10477
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Jedi_Latin_Student Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 3/15 2:36pm Subject: RE: Justification- Ben Skywalker, minor AU (Ben wants to know the worth of killing) OneShot
	YAY! a review! Thank you Jade_Skywalker! ~Latin Geek -----signature----- Book Worm Here Rebirth: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27963427&brd=10477&start=27997657 Footprints in Ashes of a World Long Forgotten: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=21698899&brd=10477&start=21701989
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Jaina_and_Jag Registered: Apr '03	Date Posted: 3/15 4:40pm Subject: RE: Justification- Ben Skywalker, minor AU (Ben wants to know the worth of killing) OneShot
	Interesting idea! I really liked your portrayl of Ben here, very believeable. And the end was an interesting twist, no killing at all... definitely a nice thought. I really liked the final line. Nice job!
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Jedi_Latin_Student Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 3/25 7:39pm Subject: RE: Justification- Ben Skywalker, minor AU (Short stories about Ben ) second story up 3/25 - Date Edited: 3/25 7:52pm (2 edits total) Edited By: Jedi_Latin_Student
	Not much of an introduction to this one, its just 'Mechanical' i thought of the title first. I know i should be doing other things right now that do not involve writing and posting Mechanical (such as writing and updating my other story), but this plot is persistent and demanded writing. Mechanical: "…more machine than man. He truly does live up to his name." "Man? He’s hardly more than a boy." Ben listened with restrained interest, to the men three tables over. Their attempt at philosophical discussion was almost amusing. Almost, except for that they were talking about him. They’d never met him, didn’t know him. Didn’t want to know him, but they talked about him anyway. Ben wished he could walk over and tell them that gossip was for old ladies with little better to do, he would have loved to see the looks on their faces as they realized who was talking to them. The amazement, the awe that was sure to be there. Followed by that disgusting pity. And then fear. And then, when he was gone and they thought themselves safe, there would be disgust. "… programmed to serve Solo and only him, poor kid, probably didn’t have a chance." "Yeah, poor kid." The two men were nodding solemnly at each other, exchanging grave and serious looks. Ben almost laughed, Poor kid… and, ah… there it was, the pity. Ben’s mood darkened immediately. Pity he did not want it, not from his parents, not from ‘friends’ and defiantly not from strangers. Probably didn’t have a chance. The man had said. He’d had plenty of chances, plenty of choices. Ben had long ago accepted that the path he had chosen, he had chosen on his own. He’d been a young idiot, an arrogant hot-head and he well knew it. Though he was not about to admit it to his father anytime soon. “He puts on such a brave face for the cameras though.” “Solo wouldn’t be happy with him, though, if his prize killing machine broke down in front of all Coruscant.” “Well, no… I suppose not, but he’s still got backbone, that kid.” “Spine of steel, eh Mr. Techus?” “The man of metal.” “The poor kid.” The men exchanged more grave looks and solemn nods, seeming to need to fill time and space while they composed whatever next they were going to say. When they began to speak again several minuets of nodding later, they had switched the subject from him to the lack of rain of Naboo this season. They had run out of words. Metal. Machine. Steel. Poor boy. That was all people had to say about him? Was the rest too horrific? Murderer. Killer. Backstabber. Spy. Depressed, Ben sank into his chair, pushing himself back into the shadows of his lonely corner of the small restaurant. Commotion further into the restaurant pulled him out of his wallowing and, bored and wanting to forget what he had just heard, Ben watched as restaurant staff hurried around a tiny stage, positioned at the back center of restaurant, in front of the kitchen. There was a performer here today, unscheduled, since there had been no advertisements. Setup complete, a girl, his age, sauntered out on stage, bright blue hair-tail swinging and bouncing with every step. Ben did not even have to see her face to know who it was. Kiari, at one point one of his father’s student’s and Karrde’s favorite pet spy. She was probably here to tell him, again, that his parents wanted to speak with him. He watched her blue hair bounce and swing, almost in time to the music, as she sang some ridiculous love song that ‘kids’ his age were supposed to find appealing. He stood and made for the exit. He did not want to talk to Kiari today. Their ‘talks’ were almost infamous in Jacen’s inner circle. She continued to avoid capture by Jacen’s men, eluding even Ben, when he had tried several time to bring her in. He had given up trying and Jacen tolerated the brief meetings, though Jacen had taken to showing recordings of any words exchanged between the two teens to his higher ranking officers. Jacen seemed to take some sort of twisted amusement out of it. No doubt Ben would be seeing this later tonight. Perhaps Jacen’s officers would appreciate Kiari’s music more than Ben himself did. Almost to the door, Ben paused for a moment and listened, briefly, to the song Kiari sang. “And it’s obvious that you’re dying, dying, Just living proof that the camera’s lying, And oh, oh open wide Cause this is your night, So smile Cause you’ll go out in style.” Do machines dance? Ben wondered, Probably not. He allowed a small smile to touch his lips, bounced twice in time to the upbeat tune, and walked out the door without looking back. The smile was gone as soon as he stepped outside. The comlink at his belt beeped. It was Jacen. “Skywalker here.” “Ben, I have something I need you to do for me.” ~~~*~ FINIS Song: Fences by Paramore ~Latin Geek -----signature----- Book Worm Here Rebirth: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27963427&brd=10477&start=27997657 Footprints in Ashes of a World Long Forgotten: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=21698899&brd=10477&start=21701989
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Jedi_Latin_Student Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 6/29 9:30pm Subject: RE: Walking the Sky- (Short stories about Ben) Ben Skywalker, minor AU second story up 3/25
	Ben wonders what to write to shevu's wife shula when he sends the body home . Minor spoilers for Invincible Millions: Artoo? What is worth? Beeep-boop. What is value? Boop. Heh. Sorry, I don’t speak droid, write it out? WORTH: GOOD OR IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO JUSTIFY, USEFULLNESS OR IMPORTANCE, EXCELLENCE OF CHARACTER VALUE: RELATIVE WORTH, MERIT OR IMPORTANCE, MONETARY OR MATERIAL WORTH, IMPORTANT OR MEANING; FORCE; SIGNIFICANCE. Oh. Boooop. I still don’t understand. Ben! I thought I told you not to ask Artoo for help. Sorry Dad. ~~~~ What is the difference between value and worth, is there one? My Dad thinks so, he says that understanding will come with time and age and experience. I’ve had plenty of experience and time seems to be passing with so much speed it almost makes me dizzy. I am only lacking in age, or so the so called adults tell me. I never have really figured out the point of that lesson, but I think I am getting closer to an answer. Should I send a note? A letter? What do I say to her?* ~~~~ Shevu’s wife, Shula was her name, deserved to know how he had died. But what was Ben to tell her, did he justify it or just give the bare facts in as few words as possible? How did Ben justify Shevu’s death anyway, could he? There was no justice in it. Did he tell her he was sorry, that Shevu wasn’t worth it. The value of a life. The worth of a life. It all came to the same thing in the end, value or worth, it didn’t matter. Shevu had not been worth the lives of all the jedi at the base. He had not been worth what Ben had perceived as perhaps the last hope of the galaxy. Shevu’s life in the end had not been worth it. A terrifyingly, awful thought. In the end it hadn’t mattered either way, Jacen had still found the location of the base. ~~~~ I once asked my uncle Han, just out of curiosity, how one figured out what a slave was worth. Who decided their price? He said I was too young to ask that and didn’t answer until I nagged at him for three days and he caved and told me ‘just to shut me up.’ He said most of the time it had to do with how strong they were or how pretty. How much work they could do determined their value, hours in exchange for money. I asked him if brains had anything to do with it. He said the headstrong ones were harder to sell and then wouldn’t say any more. I told him the next day that I thought the whole business was stupid and that treating people like machines could hardly determine what they were worth. He said, “Tell that to the Hutts, kid.” ~~~~ I think that the worth of Shevu’s brain alone could have bankrupted the entire galaxy and then some. I could hardly write that in a note to his wife though. In the end I ended up writing the facts of his death out and then adding as a personal note on the end. He was my most trusted friend, I will remember him forever. I’m Sorry Ben Skywalker Value and worth have nothing to do with it. ~~~~ ~Latin Geek -----signature----- Book Worm Here Rebirth: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=27963427&brd=10477&start=27997657 Footprints in Ashes of a World Long Forgotten: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=21698899&brd=10477&start=21701989
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