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Author	Topic: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} A/N & TEASER - 7/16/08
Aleria Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 6/1 8:11am Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Interlude I 5/30/08 - Date Edited: 6/1 8:17am (2 edits total) Edited By: Aleria
	ccp posted: Ok Jag you obviously need ccp's three step cure for frustration and anger. Step 1: find a 3/4 inch piece of pipe about 4 feet in length Step 2: find an empty cargo crate wood is best but plastic will do, metal will work in a pinch. Step 3: proceed to beat the hell out of crate with pipe. Does this actually help any problem, no, but it always makes me feel better to get it all out. If you completely demolish crate and still don't feel better repeat steps 2 & 3. Wood crates work better because they splinter and the destruction is more satisfing. Now there's an interesting idea... Great update! Thanks! jadesabre75 posted: I loved the begining of this. That was some awesome writing as you described the ships in the hangar. Awesome! Thank you. I wanted to give a slight reference to what's yet to come... Hmmm....kinda like it's owner. Poor Jaggie. I think I agree with ccp. He needs to go and beat the you know what out of something. He'll get something to do soon. Let's hope it clears his head a bit... Wow. Just wow. Wow... Speechless, eh? That's a nice compliment... This was freaking excellent and well worth the wait!!!! Awesome job! I'm glad you think so! Next post won't take so long, I promise! angry_bendu1 posted: Yay, you're back! Hey take all the time you need for the next chapter, trust me, we'll be waiting! This was fantastic. Totally shows Jag wrestling to maintain some semblance of control, but still being scared out of his mind for Jaina. Excellent interlude! I'm definitely looking forward to more! Yep, finally back! And with new ideas swirling in my mind... And thank you so much! I'm glad you really enjoyed this. There'll be more in the next couple of weeks. -----signature----- Burden of the Throne - http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28365918/p1/?0 Liaison to the House of Fel of the Corellian FC "You know, sometimes I amaze even myself." - Han
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Jag4Me Registered: Jan '08	Date Posted: 6/1 11:47am Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Interlude I 5/30/08
	Yay! I am so excited to see an update! You did such a great job with Jag's emotions and the whole description of the hanger. It made you feel like you were there. I wanted to cry when he put his forehead against the sword on her fighter. Good advice from ccp. When I need to vent I always go with my 3B's...either beat something, break something, or blow it up. If you have a PM list I would love to be on it. -----signature----- "Jag4Me, the queen of the Forum Feud Flirt " - Inty "When facing a desperate situation dress with dash." - Archy McNally Get in here and chat up soundtracks! http://boards.theforce.net/the_amphitheatre/b10382/29017470/p1/?19
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melino Registered: Apr '08	Date Posted: 6/1 8:09pm Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Interlude I 5/30/08
	That was soooooo worth the wait!!!!! amazing deails and absolutely beautiful piece! I hope Jag goes to Jaina soon!!! I'm looking forward to future posts
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Aleria Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 6/3 8:01am Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Interlude I 5/30/08
	Jag4Me posted: Yay! I am so excited to see an update! You did such a great job with Jag's emotions and the whole description of the hanger. It made you feel like you were there. I wanted to cry when he put his forehead against the sword on her fighter. Happy to please and so thrilled you liked it! It's good to hear that my writing can actually draw emotional reactions from you readers. Good advice from ccp. When I need to vent I always go with my 3B's...either beat something, break something, or blow it up. Yeah, and if those don't work then something is really wrong... If you have a PM list I would love to be on it. I have a list and you're on it now! melino posted: That was soooooo worth the wait!!!!! amazing deails and absolutely beautiful piece! I hope Jag goes to Jaina soon!!! I'm looking forward to future posts Thank you! You'll see Jag actually doing something in the next chapter... Which will hopefully be some time next week. Fingers crossed! -----signature----- Burden of the Throne - http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28365918/p1/?0 Liaison to the House of Fel of the Corellian FC "You know, sometimes I amaze even myself." - Han
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Jaina_and_Jag Registered: Apr '03	Date Posted: 6/3 4:37pm Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Interlude I 5/30/08
	That was great! So emotional! Jag needs Jaina. It's official.
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Solo_and_Fel Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 6/3 9:24pm Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Interlude I 5/30/08
	The imagery here is really great. I liked the description of Jaina's ship as well as that of Jag's inability to move on. It's like the song goes "stuck in the moment and you can't get out". Glad you got over your block. This was definitely worth a wait. -----signature----- "Hurling black lightning is one thing, but quoting Kyp Durron puts me lower than I ever expected to get." To Suffer & Be Strong: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28435487&brd=10477 Check profile for more fics.
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Aleria Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 6/5 3:30pm Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Interlude I 5/30/08
	Jaina_and_Jag posted: That was great! So emotional! Jag needs Jaina. It's official. He really does need her, even if his canon self was just too stubborn to admit it for a long time... Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed. Solo_and_Fel posted: The imagery here is really great. I liked the description of Jaina's ship as well as that of Jag's inability to move on. It's like the song goes "stuck in the moment and you can't get out". Glad you got over your block. This was definitely worth a wait. Thank you very much! Don't know if I know that song, but it does describe Jag's situation pretty well... I'm glad the block's gone too, and now I finally might have the time to actually get back to writing! -----signature----- Burden of the Throne - http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28365918/p1/?0 Liaison to the House of Fel of the Corellian FC "You know, sometimes I amaze even myself." - Han
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canadianjedimama Registered: Jan '08	Date Posted: 6/5 5:08pm Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Interlude I 5/30/08
	Oh, dear. My bad. I've been a bad beta...not replying to this! Like Sab said, it was freaking awesome. Your ability to get into what Jag must be feeling in this situation and put it onto the screen is a marvel. Well done, my dear! Cyn -----signature----- Lucky member of the Jagateers, my e-sister's of Jag-love! "I like Princess Leia, but that's different Star Wars." Baby Girl on CW Proud co-corrupter of Flowerlady to Twilight... I Wobbler...
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Aleria Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 6/10 9:04am Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Author Reply and A/N 6/10/08
	canadianjedimama posted: Oh, dear. My bad. I've been a bad beta...not replying to this! Like Sab said, it was freaking awesome. Your ability to get into what Jag must be feeling in this situation and put it onto the screen is a marvel. Well done, my dear! Cyn Don't worry, you still did reply! And thank you so very much. I'm glad reading what I throw at you even a couple of times doesn't wear it out for you. I recall Sab musing about what Jag's condition would be in this situation - "a stoic Chiss or a bucketcase". Wondering about that myself, I thought he'd be something in between, those aspects fighting for control over him. And I must say, I'm pretty happy with the result, too. Author's Note: I'm working on Chapter 3. It's been drafted for a really long time now, so writing it out shouldn't take horribly long once I get the hang of it again. And thus I can promise, I will have it done this week! Thanks for sticking with this and you will be rewarded by the end of the week! -----signature----- Burden of the Throne - http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28365918/p1/?0 Liaison to the House of Fel of the Corellian FC "You know, sometimes I amaze even myself." - Han
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Jag4Me Registered: Jan '08	Date Posted: 6/10 12:46pm Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Author Reply and A/N 6/10/08
	Aleria posted: Thanks for sticking with this and you will be rewarded by the end of the week! Awesome! I am looking forward to it! -----signature----- "Jag4Me, the queen of the Forum Feud Flirt " - Inty "When facing a desperate situation dress with dash." - Archy McNally Get in here and chat up soundtracks! http://boards.theforce.net/the_amphitheatre/b10382/29017470/p1/?19
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Aleria Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 6/15 9:20pm Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Author Reply and A/N 6/10/08
	Jag4Me posted: Aleria posted: Thanks for sticking with this and you will be rewarded by the end of the week! Awesome! I am looking forward to it! That was such a good incentive for me to get on writing! Thank you for that. And I have good news: Chapter 3. is finished! Took me insanely long, but it's massive. (5602 words and a little over 7 pages long in MS Word...) Now it just needs to be beta read and revised by the wonderful Cyn and after that I'll post it in a heartbeat. That you can count on! So, I hope you'll be ready to read by tomorrow... -----signature----- Burden of the Throne - http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28365918/p1/?0 Liaison to the House of Fel of the Corellian FC "You know, sometimes I amaze even myself." - Han
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jadesabre75 Registered: Nov '07	Date Posted: 6/15 9:32pm Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Author Reply and A/N 6/10/08
	Aleria posted: And I have good news: Chapter 3. is finished! Took me insanely long, but it's massive. (5602 words and a little over 7 pages long in MS Word...) Now it just needs to be beta read and revised by the wonderful Cyn and after that I'll post it in a heartbeat. That you can count on! HURRY UP CYN!!!!!!!! So, I hope you'll be ready to read by tomorrow... -----signature----- Stories are in my bio! Have at it! 9-19-08 - Best Bloody Day of the Year! Savvy? - http://www.limestrong.com/ Lucky Member of the Jagateers: Jagateer of the Imperial Red Swim Trunks
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Aleria Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 6/15 9:43pm Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Author Reply and A/N 6/10/08 - Date Edited: 6/15 9:44pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Aleria
	jadesabre75 posted: Aleria posted: And I have good news: Chapter 3. is finished! Took me insanely long, but it's massive. (5602 words and a little over 7 pages long in MS Word...) Now it just needs to be beta read and revised by the wonderful Cyn and after that I'll post it in a heartbeat. That you can count on! HURRY UP CYN!!!!!!!! So, I hope you'll be ready to read by tomorrow... Well, aren't you in a hurry! Thanks, I'm happy you can't wait for it. And don't worry, it'll come when she's ready. Then there'll be a LOT for you to read... -----signature----- Burden of the Throne - http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28365918/p1/?0 Liaison to the House of Fel of the Corellian FC "You know, sometimes I amaze even myself." - Han
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Aleria Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 6/16 7:30pm Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Chapter 3. 6/16/08 - Date Edited: 6/17 9:39am (2 edits total) Edited By: Aleria
	It's finally here, the long awaited third chapter. As I stated earlier, it's massive and will hopefully please any Jag fans reading this. I hope you enjoy! Note: Considering some of the responses, I should probably issue a tissue warning for this chapter! So if you're sensitive, my dear readers, do keep those handkerchiefs close by. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 3. JEDI BASE, FIGHTER HANGAR A DAY AFTER THE BATTLE OF SHEDU MAAD His mind was a storm arising. The anger whirling his thoughts around panged in his head like a hydrospanner at a stubborn bolt. It was an easy way out of the fear he felt for Jaina, and Han knew it. Still, any form of releasing his anxiety was good enough for him and he embraced the chance to vent his mind as he strode towards the hangars. The search for Jagged Fel was a welcome distraction, giving him something to do as well as a target for the repressed rage boiling inside him. And who knew, it might even turn out useful if he succeeded in his task. At the moment he wanted nothing more than to drag the eluding pilot to the Med wing. He liked the kid, there was no denying the fact. The man was too much like him for Han to think anything else, and more to the point, Han knew him to love Jaina. Going after him wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. To put him where he was supposed to be, stop him from wallowing in his misery by himself – it had to be done. Bursting into the fighter hangar, Han looked around taking in his surroundings. What he saw bothered him. The multitude of the Mandalorian vessels in the space added to the fire blazing in him, making him narrow his eyes and accenting the deep lines on his forehead. He damned Fett and his cohorts. Sure, the warriors had been on their side in the final battle and the training Jaina had gone through during her time on Mandalore might have even ended up saving her life. Han just didn’t like being indebted to a bounty hunter, much less to an unofficial archenemy. He knew the Mandalorians would participate in the peace negotiations that were to be held in a few days. Even if Fett himself wouldn’t be bothered to grace them with his presence, someone reporting to him would. He doubted the proud people would want to have much to do with the other alliances forming in the galaxy, but then again they were Mandalorians. No one could be certain of their actions until they’d actually happened. Han wondered if Luke himself knew what to expect, and what would happen to the Jedi now that Fett and Daala had thrown themselves into the game as power players. Wandering around the hangar, Han let his gaze roam over the starships and searching between the vessels for his prey. Steadily, he wound his way towards the one fighter that drew him to it, figuring he wasn’t the only one thinking along those lines. Jaina’s fighter intrigued him. Not only was it a Bes’uliik but it was where his daughter was most like the girl she had been years earlier. Before the wars and the losses. As he neared the fighter, he saw a man standing beside it - his search was done. Jag was in a world of his own, no doubt a dark place deprived of hope. The man was in turmoil, it was evident by the rigid yet slightly undisciplined way he carried himself. The location or Jag’s condition didn’t surprise Han, but their effect on himself made him contemplate his own emotions. Seeing where the pilot had been pulled to soothed Han’s anger. It almost made him empathic towards the younger man. He knew it was where he would have been if Leia had been so badly hurt when they were young, and he hadn’t changed all that much in the last three decades. He could understand the pain, know how hard it had to be for Jag to wait ignorantly for news of the survival of the woman he was bound to by the strongest bond there ever could be between two sentients. The worst thing was, that it wasn’t even the first time. He slowly walked to the fighter, studying the younger man as he drew near. Jag stood leaning against the beskar hull of the ship, preoccupied by the inner battle he tried to smother. His back was turned to the rest of the universe like a silent order to leave him alone. But Han couldn’t oblige, so as he stopped beside the brooding man he reached out and rested his right hand on Jag’s shoulder. Giving him a reassuring squeeze, he stood there silently just reminding him that he wasn’t alone in his dread. Jag turned his hanging head slightly towards Han, the look on his face making him gulp. The green eyes were dry but there was a torn and far away look in them, dimming the calculating light that had once again started to shine during his time with the Jedi Coalition. His mouth was a thin line, lips drained of all colour and his cheeks quivering under the tension. He was drowning silently, any complaints he might have had carefully kept locked up where no one could find them. He was still miraculously coping, but the seemingly calm façade he had been trained to present to the galaxy wouldn’t deceive those who knew him. Han knew he had to do something. Yelling at the man would only make things worse for them both, so it was time to come up with a new game plan. He let out a shallow sigh and turned the pilot around. “Come on, Jag. You need something to do…” he said as he started steering Jag away from the fighter. They walked slowly across the hangar, listening to the soft thuds their footsteps made against the grease stained ground. Han held his grip on the younger man’s shoulder the whole way to the beaten up freighter waiting to be tended to, and he didn’t even try to resist. As he brought them up to the Millennium Falcon, he finally let his hand drop to his side before disappearing through the hatch into the vessel for a moment. Soon he returned, carrying a toolkit in his hands and a weak grin making his face look like the Han Solo all the holodramas depicted and terribly wrong for the situation. Blandly he pressed a hydrospanner into Jag hand and nodded his head at the Falcon as an explanation of his intentions. “Always helps,” he told Jag before doubling over and ducking under the ship with a couple of selected tools from the kit. Jag didn’t move, just stood frozen at where he had stopped and gazed at the vessel with a blank expression. Noticing this, Han peeked from under the hull to look at the unmoving man, his eyebrows raised and waiting. “You could check the comm system,” he suggested pointedly before returning to whatever he felt like tinkering with at the moment. Finally Jag seemed to find his ability to move again, and Han listened as he walked up the lowered ramp into the Falcon and headed to the cockpit. Maybe fixing something he knew how to make work would help the man to get his thoughts in line in the process. Han let out a deep sigh and returned his concentration back to the task at hand. He needed this just as much. * * * * * After almost two hours of working under his beloved freighter, Han’s back ached and he seriously needed a drink. Scrambling out of the low and cramped space, he wiped his oily hands on a rag that had been white sometime during the Clone Wars. He walked into the ship and cursed as he almost stumbled on a small cargo crate that had fallen out from its designated place during the battle. Stepping into the cockpit, he found Jag sitting in the pilot’s chair. The tools he’d had to work with on the comm station were neatly laid on the seat by the navigation consol. “Didn’t feel like working, huh?” Han grumbled disappointedly in a low voice and hissed out a sigh. Jag turned his head and looked over at the older man, confused. Han pointed at the discarded tools and raised an eyebrow. “The comm system? It’s fixed,” Jag simply stated and turned back to look out of the viewport into the quiet hangar, the preoccupied expression sweeping over his face again. Han simply looked at him with an incredulous expression on his face. But true enough, when he glanced at the comm controls they look just like they had before the battle. Better even, though Han could not admit that right then. Sneering, he shook his head and sat down in the co-pilot’s chair. Mulling his thoughts around in his mind, Han knew he would have to talk some sense into the almost spiritless man sitting across from him. Someone had to do it, otherwise nothing might change and things would keep going like this until some news of Jaina’s condition would reach them. The anguish would simply continue if no one stifled it, and right now he had a better chance to try than he was ever likely to get again. Han swallowed the growing lump of uneasiness and tentatively gazed at the younger man. “Jag?” he asked, unsure of how to start such a conversation. The other man didn’t answer or turn his head but simply held his silence. The look in his eyes changed though, his concentration slowly returning to the present. He was listening, anxiously waiting what was to come. Surely he could guess. “You should go to see her,” Han finally started softly, trying to find the right words. It didn’t help that his own mind ventured back to his daughter. “I know it hurts, seeing her like that and waiting for something to change. But even if you couldn’t say anything, you need to be there. She needs you to be there,” he said, trying to persuade Jag in a voice that was even but filled with emotion. The pilot had had to think about it also, kept back only by the fear of not knowing how he would react to what he had to do. Nothing else would have made him stay by Jaina’s fighter when he could as easily have been in the Med wing with her. “I can’t…” Han heard Jag’s quiet voice say from beside him. The man lowered his head and looked at his lap with blind eyes. “You won’t feel any better before you go,” Han told him, certainty evident in his voice. His argument only enforced Jag’s silence as, making him contemplate the truth behind the simple words. “Jaina needs you not to leave her alone with this. We can’t help her now, you ought to at least try,” he finished, a hint of disappointment in his voice. He wasn’t sure if it was for his own inability to make a difference to the unwinding events or for the lack of trying by the younger man. Han waited as Jag sat still for a moment. Then the man nodded his head slightly, rose to his feet and slowly turned to leave. He stopped between the two chairs and into Han’s eyes for the first time after the fateful battle, his green eyes sad but somehow determined. Han gave him a faint but encouraging smile and inclining his head towards the door, he quietly told him to get going. Jag turned away but just as he was about to walk through the hatch, Han called after him, “Hey kid!” Glancing back over his shoulder with a questioning look in his eyes, the pilot stopped in his tracks once more. “Might want to take a shower first. We wouldn’t like to injure Jaina any further, right?” Han said in a serious voice. But Jag hadn’t missed the faint twinkle in his eye. There was a twist, more like a cramp than a smile, tugging at the corner of the man’s mouth. He nodded his acknowledgement, looked at the floor for a moment and vanished out into the hangar. **************** JEDI BASE, MED WING At the late hour of the night, the halls of the Med wing were silent and inanimate. In the corridors leading to the observation rooms the lighting had been dimmed down from the brightness that filled the space during the days. The only light the plain white walls could reflect was the faint glow of illumination strips lined to follow the corridors at the centre of the ceiling, casting dark shadows to the far corners at turns. All the doors were closed and behind the observation windows the rooms were either dark and empty or hidden behind impenetrable curtains. Only a lone character moved slowly along the passages, the soft clicks of his boot heels sounding rhythmically against the waxed and sleek floors. His dark figure was slightly hunched, depicting only a hint of the straight and controlled posture in which he usually carried himself. The still damp mass of black hair on his head was slightly dishevelled and the over-grown streaks partly covered the thin scar on his forehead that was now crooked with the anxious frown distorting his face. The walk from his quarters to the Med wing wasn’t long, but Jag was exhausted by the effort. A whole day had gone since the crucial battle and he hadn’t slept. The sweet oblivion of sleep just wouldn’t come to him, leaving him haggard and worn. Time had simply slipped away from him as his mind had been engulfed in a voracious storm of drastic emotions. From time to time Jag had almost thought he’d grown numb to the feelings churning inside of him, only to have another swell sweep over him and pull him to his knees in front of the reality. Finally he had stopped resisting it. In his solitude, he had surrendered himself to the inner battle that refused to lower its weapons, desperately trying to retain some of his waning strength. But every passing moment of tormenting ignorance took a heavy toll on him and was decidedly turning his body into its next victim. His muscles ached, his head felt like it had received a sharp bang with the back of a blaster. Even the long shower he’d taken before his dreaded crusade had not helped much. The water running over his body had felt like quicksilver, trickling poisonously over his face and weighing heavily on his shoulders. The longer he had soaked his cramping limbs, the worse it had felt to move them. Still, acknowledging he wouldn’t be able to rest before seeing Jaina, Jag had somehow managed to get himself dressed and back out of his small quarters. For a moment, the clean and soft fabric of the dark grey tunic he wore had almost felt soothing. Almost, before his chest had recognised his intentions, tightened under the loose garment and made his breathing increasingly shallow and quick. The further into the Med wing he wound his way and the closer to Jaina he came, the harder it seemed to be for him to keep going. But he couldn’t turn back anymore, he had come too far to give up now. Telling himself that she needed him there, he willed his feet to go on no matter how strongly the rest of his body responded to the fear and anxiety boiling inside him. The distance between him and Jaina grew constantly shorter and Jag’s heart felt like burning a gaping hole into his chest. Finally he had to stop in his tracks to calm the pounding beneath his collarbones and sooth the throbbing at his temples. He gulped for air around the lump in his throat and as he tried to continue he found himself unable to. Only one turn left and his feet seemed moulded to the floor. Reaching his arm to the right, Jag staggered to the spotless wall. Twisting his rigid body around with a push of his hand against the stable surface, the man leaned his back heavily against it and let his chin drop. The tense nerves at his knees made his legs tremble slightly and painfully. He winced as a deep groan at his disobedient frame wheezed through his gritted teeth. You are NOT this vulnerable, he could hear his father growling at him. The Chiss didn’t show weakness, especially ones that were so private and sentimental. Those were simply a distraction that should be avoided and kept hidden if ever crossed. But Jag wasn’t truly a Chiss, not anymore at least. He couldn’t keep the dread and blame he felt completely controlled, restricted to some dark corner in his mind. This was too great to be ignored. It shook him the worst way he had ever thought possible, and he knew that somehow it would change his life forever. He could only hope that afterwards he wouldn’t be left hollow, just an empty shell only physically alive. Suddenly a soft hiss sounded around the corner and two pairs of footsteps came through the open door. The only room occupied along that corridor was the one where Jaina lay, Jag had time to think before a young couple rounded their way towards the hangars. Their path was the same the exhausted man had come, and as they neared he raised his head to look at them. They were Mandalorians. They leaned against each other slightly while walking, holding hands tightly as if afraid to let go. Their expressions were thoughtful and Jag thought they would pass without noticing him standing in the shadows. Just as they reached where Jag stood silently the woman turned her head and peered straight into Jag’s tired eyes. She stopped and let go of the hand of her blond haired companion. The man looked at her, surprise flashing over his face before he noticed the other man in the corridor. He studied Jag for a short moment. Resting his gauntleted hand on the young woman’s shoulder, he inclined his head to the next corner. Without taking her eyes off of Jag she nodded and the man slowly walked away from them. Jag glanced after the Mandalorian before turning his attention back to the woman in front of him. Her short brown hair had been nonchalantly pulled back from her face and her yellow armour was covered with shallow dents and scorch marks. The look in her brown eyes was serious and straightforward. Even though he didn’t recognize her, Jag knew she was a true soldier. “You’re Fel,” she said finally with a blank expression on her young face. Falling silent again she let her eyes roam over the man, evaluating him. It made Jag feel uncomfortable, suspicious. He didn’t want to let a stranger see his desperation, and to have a Mandalorian he’d never met know his name made him wary. He kept his silence and waited for her to make the next move. Her eyes returned to look into his. Lifting her eyebrows, she let out a small sigh and shook her head slowly. “You should go in. No use standing here where you can’t even see her,” she said in a low voice, the truth in her words stinging at his heart. Here was yet another person, a complete stranger telling him the same thing, the only one he’d dreaded to admit. “Her Jetii friend is already there,” she added, the stressing of her words sending an underlying message. “Mirta?” came the voice of the woman’s companion from the end of the corridor. Suddenly realization hit Jag - this was Mirta Gev, Boba Fett’s granddaughter and Jaina’s newfound friend. He could only frown at her as she turned to give the waiting man a nod and a fleeting smile. His breath got caught in his throat by the shock and an oppressing feeling of blame threatened to drown him. Even she had visited Jaina before he had pulled himself together enough to do what he should have done hours ago. His growing misery was quickly suppressed by a sharp and almost commanding look from Mirta. Her jaw was set and her eyes held a spark he wouldn’t have wanted to come across during a battle. “Go, already,” she said forcefully, her message clear and demanding. Then she turned swiftly in her armour, strode to her husband and quickly they were gone. Jag was slightly taken aback by the young woman’s strong command. Then again she was a Mandalorian, not to mention the offspring of two generations of bounty hunters. For a moment he just stood where he was, his mind frozen by her words. As if in a trance, he turned back towards his original direction and walked to the corner and around it. As he saw the observation window and the faint glow of light filling the corridor outside Jaina’s room, Jag had to draw deep breaths to keep his pace steady. Hesitation and denial fought for control over him but he pushed them back. They wouldn’t help now. Stopping beside the door, the wide window spreading right in front of him, Jag looked at the floor by his black boots. He felt his jaw vibrate, the tension grinding his teeth together. His green eyes closed, he raised his head, trying to prepare himself for what would soon be impossible for him to deny. No matter how many times he had thought it over, rationalized the situation and visualized his actions, the yearning to believe none of it had really happened still chewed at him. It stopped him from accepting the truth. He would end it now. He would take the pain and live through it. He would gather his resolve and prove he was worth the challenge. He would not flinch from it any longer. He would rise again stronger and be there for her like he always should have. I can do this. I HAVE to do this. As he drew a deep breath, Jag let his eyes flutter open and slowly focus at the scene in the softly lit room. The bed was partly surrounded by screens, but Jag could see Jaina lying on it, her body thrashing around restlessly. Her beautiful face was covered with bruises, her left cheek and lower lip swollen and bacta patches hid most of the skin on her arms. His throat thickened, stopping his breathing for a paralysing moment. The wave of pain rolling over him was so powerful it almost hurt physically. A part of him still wouldn’t believe it could be true, couldn’t fathom that a brother would be able to do something so cruel and awful to her. He cursed himself for letting her go after Jacen the way she had – alone and afraid under the heroic mask she had pulled on. She hadn’t even known he’d still be there waiting for her, he hadn’t had the time to swear it to her. Jag knew he couldn’t take the strain much longer. His control was slipping as the emotions he had tried to refrain were rapidly swelling over the dams he’d erected. He was pushed into a corner from which there was only one way out. Jaina. She was where he belonged. Without her he had nothing, only a frame others recognized. But they didn’t understand him like she did. No one ever could. And he didn’t want them to. So he had only one way to go. One wish to have, one dream to hang on to, one hope to pray for. And it all depended on her. He had never felt so helpless and redundant, knowing only one thing to do and he was scared of it. But it had to be done and gasping for air Jag tried to calm himself. Desperately grasping for the last remains of the rigid self-control he had been trained to master, he turned away from the window to the door. His arm shivered in its reach for the controls by the frame and as the door swished open, he stepped into his nightmare. **************** Zekk sat quietly and listened to the door closing behind him as Mirta Gev left the Med room. Slowly a wide grin spread across his face and he chuckled. Who’d have known… “So, you’re friends with Fett’s kin then. Han should just love that,” he said in an amused voice. But the briefly brightened glimmer in his eyes faded quickly as he once again watched Jaina’s head restlessly thrash on the pillow. The sedatives the healers had been forced to give her had lost their effect and since then she’d been tossing herself around. She needed peace to heal herself, but that was nothing but a weak wish. The torment she was going through flamed over the walls around her mind, her Force presence closed but radiating anguish. Her strength was flowing into waste, her want to live draining from the Force. It had already been hours. Zekk’s worried gaze searched the woman’s involuntarily squeezed eyes, her neck strained to an abnormal angel. He wanted to reach out to her, break through her shields and comfort her. It pained him to know he couldn’t. Even in her forlorn state, he could still see something of the stubborn and headstrong woman he’d loved and pursued for so long. He still cared for her more than he did for anyone else, he probably always would. But now he knew it wasn’t his place to catch her in her plunge into the dark. It wasn’t him she needed and longed for. He wasn’t the one to crack the barriers around her heart and claim it as his own. He’d already known it for some time now. Closing his eyes for a moment, Zekk hissed out a sigh. He was over her, at least in the way of not trying to get her warmer affections anymore, but there had been setbacks. In his mind, he cursed the dark powers that had swallowed him on the asteroid habitat where they’d finally taken down Alema Rar. The overwhelming powers had swept over him like a tidal wave, drowning his clarity of what was right. He’d known Jag wasn’t the enemy, had already accepted him as a partner and acknowledged his feelings for Jaina, even if the pilot himself had tried to keep them buried. But something in him had still wanted for their roles to be reversed, and the darkness living in the asteroid had attached its shackles onto that. Zekk shook his head slightly. He was tired but couldn’t leave Jaina alone. She needed someone to be there for her, even if she couldn’t acknowledge it herself. And they all knew who it should have been, though no one had actually uttered the words. It disturbed him to wonder why the man hadn’t shown up yet, angered him even. Suddenly there was a pang of repressed pain in the Force, shadowed by guilt and disbelief. The intensity of the emotions sent shivers over the Jedi’s worn body, and it startled him to see Jaina’s back arch on the bed and her fingers curl into tight fists. It almost seemed as if she’d actually reacted to an external force. Bewildered, Zekk searched the Force for the source of the penetrating feelings, and he didn’t need to look far. The wildly raging fire of despair stormed in the corridor right outside the door. The presence of the waiting man wasn’t surprising, on the contrary it was long awaited, but its effects on Jaina rattled Zekk to the core. But, how… he thought. The spectacle confused him like the first brush of a thought in the Force did a Force-sensitive child. Thrown into the whirl of unexplained questions, he sat frozen as the door finally opened again, admitting the emotionally wrecked pilot. He felt the man slowly closing the distance between the door and Jaina’s bed. But Jag stopped in his tracks slightly behind the Jedi, outside his visual range. Zekk tentatively reached out in the Force towards him, careful not to accidentally brush his presence but only observe. He could feel the hurricane of dread and desperate love in him, thrusting his thoughts around in violent swirls. The man was in complete and utter turmoil, barely hanging on to the last threads that still somehow kept him together. Slowly he turned partly around on the stool he sat on to look at his friend. The look on the man’s face was a dreadful sight – a mask of plain horror and denial lashed with blame. His blind gaze was locked on Jaina’s bruised features, his mouth barely open to allow his breath wheeze through. Taking in a deep breath, Zekk rose to his feet and stepped to the side of the torn man, facing to the opposite direction and slowly rested his hand on the pilot’s shoulder. He knew Jag wouldn’t let his shields drop completely until he was alone with his beloved, and that guarded façade was faltering badly. The man needed his strength, as much of it as he still had left. So as Zekk let out a shallow sigh, he squeezed Jag’s shoulder slightly and moved to leave the room. As he stepped to the corridor outside, the Jedi once more turned to look at the silent and frozen form of Jagged Fel. He wondered if they could ever find peace as the door whooshed closed before him. **************** Jag stood, frozen to his place by the flurry of emotions cascading over him. The sight of the beaten woman in front of him silenced his thoughts, turned his mind into a dark void incapable of comprehension. He forgot the trembling of his knees, the pulling tension at his neck and the aching around his eyes. All he could see and understand was Jaina’s petite form twisting on the bed. Now that he was finally there, he couldn’t take his eyes off of her maimed features. He was falling apart inside. The tearing feelings he had fought to keep in check battering at the walls around his heart, fervently hacking their way through him. Finally his grip on the cover holding him in one piece faltered and his strength ran out. The dams inside him crumbled down as his emotions flooded through their restraints. His legs threatened to fail him, but Jag couldn’t reach for the stool Zekk had only just left vacant. He sank down by Jaina’s bed, but even when his knees hit the floor he still felt like he was falling. A shuddering gasp sounded as pain shot up through his kneecaps, the feeling a bright beacon of clarity in his hollow mind. Resting his elbows on the mattress, he reached for the woman’s pale hand. He grasped it with both of his, careful not to squeeze it too tightly. His fingers touching her skin sent shivers over him, proving she was really still there. The pulse he felt at her wrist a mark of life, of hope that hadn’t fled yet. Hanging on to that hope, he felt a lone tear trickle over his cheek. He wouldn’t let her go anymore, he couldn’t. Not once, not for anything. In her turmoil, Jaina tried to pull her hand free, instincts ruling her unconscious body. Jag stifled a moan at her and wouldn’t let her. If she were to succeed it would rip a part of his soul from him, leave him paralysed on the floor. His constricting chest felt like it would burst, the fear of losing her forever wrenching his bruised heart. Just the thought griped his throat tightly, strangling him. Jag’s green eyes flickered shut. He leaned his head down and rested his forehead against the cool skin of the fragile hand. He wanted to cease the pain and fear in him, to pour his undying love into her hoping it would somehow help her in her torment. A quivering sigh escaped his parted lips as he desperately tried to come up with a solution to end this agony that had filled her. There had to be some way to help, something the healers hadn’t realized. Something more they could do. Please… please let there be a way, Jag prayed, unable to think of anything else. All he could do was to be there, watching over her as she thrashed herself around on the bed. “I’m here…” he managed to whispers shakily, his voice muffled by the sleeves of his tunic in front of his face. He raised his eyes to look at the woman’s frowning face. Softly he caressed her hand with his lips, planting a trembling kiss on her knuckles. What else was there to do? “I’m finally here.” He couldn’t speak more, his voice failing him and shattering the last words. But Jaina had heard him. There was no other explanation to the subtle change in her. The tenseness on her features seemed to smooth slightly, regaining some of the softness of sleep he’d often admired all those years ago. Slowly she calmed, he was sure. She didn’t toss around so much anymore, succumbing into external peace and soothing Jag’s anxiety. Maybe there really had been a way. For the rest of the night Jaina slept quietly, only her head turning or a soft moan escaping her slightly moving lips every now and then. Jag stayed by her side, adoring the delicate curve of her neck and stroking her soft hair. There was no other place for him now that he had found the hope he’d been yearning for. He watched her till the dawn, until sleep finally engulfed him with its dark veil. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -----signature----- Burden of the Throne - http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28365918/p1/?0 Liaison to the House of Fel of the Corellian FC "You know, sometimes I amaze even myself." - Han
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jadesabre75 Registered: Nov '07	Date Posted: 6/16 8:03pm Subject: RE: Burden of the Throne {J/J, post-LotF, drama/action/romance} Chapter 3 - 6/16/08
	Wow. That was so...hell I don't think I have a word to describe it. The scene between Han and Jag was awesome. Loved how Han finally admit, even to himself, that he really liked Jag because they were so similar. Jag's walk to see Jaina...felt like it took forever!!! LOL But in a good way. The gamit of emotions he went through was heart wrenching. And when he finally made it there... Yep. I cried. That was beautiful Aleria!!!!! Stupendous job! -----signature----- Stories are in my bio! Have at it! 9-19-08 - Best Bloody Day of the Year! Savvy? - http://www.limestrong.com/ Lucky Member of the Jagateers: Jagateer of the Imperial Red Swim Trunks
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