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Author	Topic: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO - **Replies and A/N up 5/28
Jedimaster_JainaSolo Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 5/8 8:48pm Subject: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO - **Replies and A/N up 5/28 - Date Edited: 5/28 9:39pm (3 edits total) Edited By: Jedimaster_JainaSolo
	Title: Behind the Durasteel Mask Author: Jedimaster_JainaSolo Characters: Jagged Fel, appearance by ... surprise guests Time: 2 years after TUF, approximately 32 ABY Summary: Angst...epiphany...hope...that's about all I can say. Disclaimer: Now I'm filling the motes! Careful not to erode The Flanneled One's sand-walls! Notes: This is my first official assignment from my wonderful master, NYCitygurl , whom I thank for the challenge, the beta, and the encouragement! This story will be posted in 3 parts. Hope you enjoy! Here's Part 1: Behind the Durasteel Mask Part I Jagged Fel did his duty. He had always been one to focus all his energy, concentration, and skill into a task set before him. Completion was not satisfactory. Jagged Fel succeeded. Whether it was as simple a job as delivering a message or as complex as high level military campaigns or worse, politics, Jag excelled. This Chiss society had raised him that way, as had his father, more commanding officer than “dad.” He was stoic; his emotions had no merit in his behavior. If asked, his peers would say he was as efficient as he had ever been. And they’d be right. He was just as committed to the Ascendancy as he had always been, just as determined to do every task to the best of his ability, and beyond. But if you asked his mother, and she was the only one who noticed, she would say he had lost the enthusiasm he had held as a youth. Before the Yuuzhan Vong war, Jag had lived for the military, for the thrill of flying his Clawcraft, for the satisfaction of accomplishing a mission beyond the Chiss’ expectation. He had been out on his own, now, out in the galaxy. He had seen things he could have never imagined, done things he never could have dreamed. He had met family he didn’t know he had, met friends that he connected with on a level he would never achieve with a Chiss acquaintance. He had loved. To the outside observer, the only hint of evidence that Jag had been gone was the slightly roguish attitude that continually dimmed with every day he remained in the Unknown Regions. Even that slight change had been barely noticeable, and of no concern. To the few that really knew him, though, it was apparent that he continued to hold something deep inside of himself and that a slight part of himself was being held in regions well within the Known Galaxy. Even Jagged Fel didn’t completely realize that his priorities had entirely changed. He sat on the hull of his Clawcraft with several panels lifted to allow him access to various wires and controls. The hangar was rather silent. A few Chiss mechanics mulled about, checking the ships and stocking supplies, but they did their job quietly and did not indulge in small talk. For that Jag was immensely grateful. All of his concentration was focused on the task at hand. He was rewiring his shield-generator so that it would not cross with the inertial dampeners. Somehow they had gotten out of order and one shorted the other out. Neither scenario was appealing, especially while in battle. He grabbed one wire and sliced the outer cable, replaced the corroded metal strip and commenced rewrapping the wire. It was a mundane task, and as had happened too often lately, he found his mind wandering to another time and place, to another person. When they had parted, Jag had been optimistic. He was to be the liaison between the Chiss and the GA, and that meant he would be able to see Jaina. The first time, he had planned a wonderfully romantic evening. It had been too awkward for his plans to work out. It was as if there was a question hanging between them, “What is this between us?” Had they broken up? Were they still together? Did the other still want to be together? It had turned out to be a nice evening, despite the frequent awkward silences and self-conscious movements. It was like the beginning of a relationship, when neither party knew how to proceed, or, Jag didn’t want to consider this one, two people trying to remain friends after a break-up. They had only met up a handful of other times in the year after the war. It had become increasingly harder to match up dates, not to mention say goodbye afterwards. Jag wasn’t sure how much time Jaina needed, what she had to do to be content with her purpose. He had to watch every move he made and it was apparent that Jaina was having similar struggles. In the last year, he had only seen her in passing, not even able to make eye contact. With every day they didn’t get to meet up, the situation became even more awkward. They had simply lost touch. He was by no means giving up. He couldn’t bear to let her just slip away. He felt disgusted with himself, Not that you’ve done anything about it. He just didn’t know if he could do anything, or what he should do. And so the problem set, became stagnant, becoming worse. Suddenly, the wire he was working on went live and he didn’t jerk his hand away quick enough to avoid the electrical shock. Sparks flew from the cut cables as Jag, frowning, looked over the edge of his ship. “Do you mind?” He called down to the tech. “I’m trying to work on my vessel, and you just sent a jolt up my arm.” “Sorry, Colonel, I didn’t know you were up there. I’ll come back to do the mandatory checks later.” He shut down the power to the fighter once again. “I’d appreciate that.” Now that he was effectively shaken from his reminiscing, he studied the wires once again. He was almost done. He took up the wire again, carefully, and finished wrapping it. His brow furrowed. Even working on his pride and joy wasn’t as satisfying as it had once been. Working on his Clawcraft had once been his panacea. Here, now, without Jaina working on her X-Wing a few meters away, it had lost some of its potency. He still felt most comfortable here, though, so he shut the hatch, hopped down and circled the ship, looking for something else to tinker with. He grabbed a hydrospanner and began fiddling with the ion drive casings. He wanted to try coaxing a bit more speed out of the engines. The techs hated it when he adapted his Clawcraft. They claimed it was a superior vessel of its own accord and all his innovations just made it harder for the prep-crew to do the standard pre-flight checks and caused for dangerous confusion in the post-battle maintenance. He shrugged off their concern and continued his improvements. He never did anything that could cause harm to the tech crew, and he usually did all his own maintenance anyway. He suspected they were just miffed that he was defying their military uniformity, not that it made much difference. After fighting with the “Rebels,” as his father still called them, Jag had become accustomed to the relaxed setting in the Alliance military. He enjoyed the strict professionalism of the Chiss military. He had been taught the rigid precision with which duty was performed, and reveled in the efficiency of its operation. However, now that he was back within the confines of his home system, he found that he missed the individualism that colored the Alliance starfighter squadrons, Jaina’s squadron. He understood the need for the difference: the Alliance was made of many species that reacted different ways in battle. Each fighter had to have a personal trust in, not to mention understanding of, their wingmate based on the individual, whereas the Chiss trusted the Academy training in the wingman. Jag had never felt as at home in his Chiss craft as when he was flying Jaina Solo’s wing. He had every confidence in her ability, her command. He also knew without a shadow of a doubt that the rest of the squadron would listen and obey her. He knew that she would welcome his ideas, as well. She was open to creative ploys and others’ opinions. But more than that, he had felt a purpose more tangible than the one he had always fought for before. He had fought under the flag of security, a distant and intangible goal. During the war, he had grown to wave his own flag: he fought for Jaina, so that both would make it back to base and get to spend more time together. He had almost given his life for her multiple times, and he knew he would never regret those decisions. Not that she needed his protection, she had saved his hide even more often, but just the knowledge that she was there with him and that he would know if anything happened to her set him more at ease. He didn’t know what he would do if he found out something had happened to her. His heart had been in his throat during the entire battle for Coruscant at the end of the war. Jaina was down on the planet, surrounded by the horrid Yuuzhan Vong. He couldn’t go down to help her, or know what was going on. That concern had fueled his flight, however, and motivated him to take down as many coralskippers as he could: the more that died in the air, the less that could be on the surface harassing Jaina. At the end of the battle, he would have gone in alone to find Jaina. Only Mara stopped him by convincing him to escort the Falcon. Even then he only agreed because he saw an escape shuttle launch from the Supreme Overlord’s palace. Those had been the worst moments of his life. He was once again jarred unkindly from his thoughts. He let out a string of choice Chiss words as he pulled his thumb from between the tool and the hard metal of his ship and gritted his teeth as he held his throbbing finger. Ironic, he thought, how such a stoic species had such graphic curses. He stood holding his thumb, not daring to move. Glancing down at the offending appendage, he saw that it was turning black under the fingernail and he sighed in frustration, just what he needed. As he tuned the pain out, he made his way across the hangar floor toward the exit. In the med center they would have some cream that would at least take the sting out of it. Just as he got to the door, a loud sound of metal moving caught his attention. He glanced back and saw that the large hangar doors were being opened. His brow furrowed as he continued on his way. There wasn’t any scheduled mission today. He shrugged the thought off. If it was important, he’d find out soon enough; all the more reason to get his thumb taken care of now. He could see blood trying to ease out at the base of the nail as he turned his attention back to his hand. How had that happened anyway? He never got as distracted as he had been today. He could usually concentrate solely on the task before him. Even if he was tinkering for the therapeutic properties of the work, even if he was using the time to organize his thoughts and emotions, he never got so caught up in them that he injured himself. The answer came to him suddenly. It was his lifeday. He turned twenty five today. These occasions often fueled deep thought on one’s past. Two years ago, he was completely happy and had deeper friendships than ever before in his life, and yet here he was, alone, working on his fighter on his lifeday. Not to mention knocking his thumbnail off. It seemed like forever since he was eighteen, joining the war for the galaxy, forgoing lifeday celebrations in favor of preserving life. The war had raged for five years, and yet it was a lifetime in and of itself. It seemed like just yesterday he was graduating from the Academy, and yet an entire lifetime spanned the short interval between. His comm. link beeped and he pulled it out. “Fel.” “Where are you, Jagged?” His mother had a pleasant voice, but now it was laced with durasteel. “Are you at headquarters?” At Jag’s hesitation, she continued. “It’s your lifeday and you will not spend it alone, working!” “Mom, I’m just tinkering with my Clawcraft, okay? I promise I’ll be home for dinner.” He enjoyed his mother’s concern despite his attempt at annoyance. “You better be! I’m making your favorite. And, what else do you promise?” she prompted. “And I promise not to work.” He stifled a chuckle. “Alright then, I’ll see you soon. Bye.” As he shut the comm. link off, he reached the med ward. As he had feared, the medic decided the nail was dead and removed it before wrapping it up to protect it from outside contact. Jag didn’t even have to worry about his mind wandering because the pain was too sharp to allow his escape. He thanked the medic and returned to the hangar. He had just decided to finish his repairs another day and go home early as he approached his ship. “FEL!” a deep voice bellowed across the hangar. Through habit, Jag made a sharp pivot, bringing his right hand up in salute, arriving at his brow at the same time as his revolution was complete. He barely managed to hide a grimace as his thumb hit the side of his leg. What he saw, however, was the last thing he had expected. TBC Thoughts? Dana -----signature----- Excited padawan of NYCitygurl Behind the Durasteel Mask: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28439445 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young..." 1 Timothy 4:12
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Jaina_and_Jag Registered: Apr '03	Date Posted: 5/8 9:16pm Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO
	Great story you've got here! You really have a handle on Jag! And working on his lifeday! He needs to get home and relax!!! But who's there??? What an evil place to stop!! I want more! Oh, and love the title!
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Trickster-Lead Registered: Aug '07	Date Posted: 5/9 7:01am Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO
	oh, I like...more? Please? -----signature----- How come I get the girl gun?- Jane Smith Happenings at Coruscant High- http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28236916/p1 The Serious Dilemma of Princess Jaina Solo and General Jagged Fel- http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/2850
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jadesabre75 Registered: Nov '07	Date Posted: 5/9 7:47am Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO
	Wow! You have captured Jagged so well in this fic! I love it! Can't wait to read more. Even though you left an evil cliffie. Great job! -----signature----- Stories are in my bio! Have at it! 9-19-08 - Best Bloody Day of the Year! Savvy? - http://www.limestrong.com/ Lucky Member of the Jagateers: Jagateer of the Imperial Red Swim Trunks
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star_writer24 Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 5/9 12:10pm Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO
	Great story, looking forward to the next post! -----signature----- Never under estimate the power of the dark side. Do or do not! There is no try. Hmmmmmm.
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Solo_and_Fel Registered: Apr '04	Date Posted: 5/9 4:51pm Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO
	Enjoyed the reflection, but now must know who's there! -----signature----- "Hurling black lightning is one thing, but quoting Kyp Durron puts me lower than I ever expected to get." To Suffer & Be Strong: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28435487&brd=10477 Check profile for more fics.
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Storms_Legacy Registered: Jan '07	Date Posted: 5/10 10:12am Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO
	That was awesome! I love Jag, and you captured the character I remember. I can't wait to see the next part of the story!
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THE_PIED_PIPER Title: CR: Knoxville, TN Forum Feud Winner Registered: Jun '06	Date Posted: 5/10 7:27pm Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO
	Wonderful start Dana, I love the internal Jag monologue and him reminiscing of his and Jaina's relationship throughout the YV War and how painful the split was for him. I reread that scene in TUF today - as a matter of fact - and I still find myself shaking my head at her. And no, he doesn't need to be working on his lifeday. Can't wait to see who the visitor is. Kick -----signature----- "A little fight in you...I like that." "Then you're going to love me." - The Joker and Batman "You're the Yen to my Yang." - My husband Roan Fel's badassery knows no bounds! Go Cade Brigade! The Powah of the Boot-tay!
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GrandMasterKatarn Registered: Feb '08	Date Posted: 5/11 9:06am Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO
	It was great. Is it Nihilus? or Revan? -----signature----- Revan+Bane+Exile = Kyle Katarn "Expletive: Damn it, master, I am an assassination droid... not a dictionary!" - HK-47 "My first apprentice was a female Twi'lek named Jaden Korr" - Kyle Katarn
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Jedimaster_JainaSolo Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 5/13 9:33am Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO - Date Edited: 5/13 9:34am (1 edits total) Edited By: Jedimaster_JainaSolo
	Jaina_and_Jag posted: Great story you've got here! You really have a handle on Jag! And working on his lifeday! He needs to get home and relax!!! But who's there??? What an evil place to stop!! I want more! Oh, and love the title! Glad you like it! You have no idea how hard it was for me to figure out how to write Jag. It was always too emotional, or too stoic, I've been working on it for a while. You'll find out who the visitors are soon. Trickster_Lead posted: oh, I like...more? Please? Soon, soon. How does Thursday sound? jadesaber75 posted: Wow! You have captured Jagged so well in this fic! I love it! Can't wait to read more. Even though you left an evil cliffie. Great job! haha, well, what can I say? I had to draw y'all into my trap, mwahaha! star_writer24 posted: Great story, looking forward to the next post! Thanks! Coming soon! Solo_and_Fel posted: Enjoyed the reflection, but now must know who's there! Thanks! You'll know soon enough. Storms_Legacy posted: That was awesome! I love Jag, and you captured the character I remember. I can't wait to see the next part of the story! Thank you!! It means so much to me that y'all think I got the characterization right. THE_PIED_PIPER posted: Wonderful start Dana, I love the internal Jag monologue and him reminiscing of his and Jaina's relationship throughout the YV War and how painful the split was for him. I reread that scene in TUF today - as a matter of fact - and I still find myself shaking my head at her. Agreed. I don't know what she was thinking... Thank you! THE_PIED_PIPER posted: And no, he doesn't need to be working on his lifeday. Can't wait to see who the visitor is. cowboy Kick cowboy No he doesn't, but he would. And you'll meet the visitor on Thursday. GrandMasterKatarn posted: It was great. Is it Nihilus? or Revan? I'm not telling! You can find out on Thursday though! Thanks for reading! A/N Thanks for reading, everybody! Part 2 will be up on Thursday! Only 2 more days to wait!! Thanks for all the replies. See y'all Thursday. BTW, I've never been called evil before... I think I rather like it! Mwahahaha Dana -----signature----- Excited padawan of NYCitygurl Behind the Durasteel Mask: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28439445 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young..." 1 Timothy 4:12
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ccp Registered: Apr '05	Date Posted: 5/13 9:49am Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO
	Well I'm hooked. I agree that you have Jag pegged. If you start a PM List I would like to be on it. -----signature----- Padwan to Big Fatty If someone says, "Have a nice weekend," I never say, "You too." Because I never know if, perhaps, by the time the weekend rolls around, I will have other plans for that person. Come Friday, I may wish to have them slain. - George Carli
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Jedimaster_JainaSolo Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 5/13 7:51pm Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO
	ccp posted: Well I'm hooked. I agree that you have Jag pegged. If you start a PM List I would like to be on it. Thanks! And I will start a PM list just for you! And thanks, I'm flattered to have to start one! PM list ccp Dana -----signature----- Excited padawan of NYCitygurl Behind the Durasteel Mask: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28439445 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young..." 1 Timothy 4:12
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angry_bendu1 Registered: Apr '07	Date Posted: 5/14 11:36am Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO
	Hmm... an unknown visitor! Guess I'll have to wait one more day... Great post, I love your internal dialogue. Magnifique! -----signature----- Ramblings of a Jedi (snarky Jesika's diary- filled w/ romance, sarcasm, etc.): http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28753761/p1/?0 I was staring at the orange juice because it said "concentrate". Proud owner of a '96 Geo Metro. "To the Crapmobile!"
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GrandMasterKatarn Registered: Feb '08	Date Posted: 5/14 10:55pm Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO
	Jedimaster_JainaSolo posted: ccp posted: Well I'm hooked. I agree that you have Jag pegged. If you start a PM List I would like to be on it. Thanks! And I will start a PM list just for you! And thanks, I'm flattered to have to start one! PM list ccp Dana add me to the pm, please. -----signature----- Revan+Bane+Exile = Kyle Katarn "Expletive: Damn it, master, I am an assassination droid... not a dictionary!" - HK-47 "My first apprentice was a female Twi'lek named Jaden Korr" - Kyle Katarn
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Jaina_and_Jag Registered: Apr '03	Date Posted: 5/15 12:21am Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO
	It's Thursday..
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Jedimaster_JainaSolo Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 5/15 8:03am Subject: RE: Behind the Durasteel Mask - Jag-centric, post NJO - Date Edited: 5/15 8:06am (1 edits total) Edited By: Jedimaster_JainaSolo
	angry_bendu1 posted: Hmm... an unknown visitor! Guess I'll have to wait one more day... Great post, I love your internal dialogue. Magnifique! Have no fear! The next post is here! Thank you very much! GrandMasterKatarn you're added! Thanks for your interest! Jaina_and_Jag why it is, isn't it. I think I'll go ahead and post right now, if that's okay with you. PM list ccp GrandMasterKatarn So here's part 2!! One more part after this one! Now what you've all been waiting for: His heart jumped into his throat as he saw Han and Leia Solo walking toward him. Was Jaina with them? After a split second, his rational brain kicked in. Of course she wasn’t with them. She rarely traveled with her parents anymore; she had missions of her own to attend to. And if she was here, she would be walking toward him with the couple. He kept the disappointment off his face as he lowered his hand. He bowed to Leia and offered a hand to Han. “Princess Leia. General Solo.” Despite the disappointment of not seeing Jaina, he was truly glad to see them and allowed genuine warmth to creep into his voice. He had worked with them often during the Vong war, had grown to admire them. “It’s wonderful to see you again.” “It’s good to see you too, kid.” Han grinned. “But I’m retired. The only ship under my command is my own. Just call me Han.” “Yes, sir,” Jag replied just before Leia embraced him in a hug deeper than he thought the petite woman was capable of. He awkwardly returned it, not used to such public displays of affection. “It is good to see a familiar face.” Something about the way she said it made Jag frown. “Is everything okay? I hope it wasn’t dire circumstances that brought you here.” “Nah, everything is fine now.” Han brushed it off. “Nothing that can’t be fixed.” Fixed. So something had happened. “You need help with the Falcon?” he asked, concerned. Han started to protest, but Leia elbowed him in the ribs and glared at him as he scowled. If not for the gravity of the possible scenarios running through his head at the moment, he would have been tempted to laugh. He enjoyed watching those two banter. Their love was so evident in everything: the way they looked at each other, the way they did everything together, how they were fiercely loyal to each other. “We would be grateful for your help, Jag,” Leia replied. “We took quite a beating, and apparently even our navigation computer is messed up. We set coordinates toward the Core, and ended up here, on Csilla. Fortunately we didn’t have too much trouble convincing them to let us land. An officer mentioned that you were here, and I couldn’t wait to see you.” She looked him up and down. “You should keep in touch more often,” she rebuked, as if he was her own child, which caused warm feelings to swell his heart, surprising him. “I’m sorry. I will keep closer contact in the future.” His lips turned upward slightly, the closest to a smile he ever got. Except with Jaina, of course. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “So how are you Jag?” He and Leia sat in the lounge of the Millennium Falcon, each with a glass of refreshing liquid in hand. They had finished correcting the engine and the life-support system and were taking a break. Han had just emptied his glass and left to tinker with some other component. Jag’s posture was as impeccable as ever, and despite the rip in the arm of his sleeve and the grease and hydraulic fluid smeared on his face, he looked every bit the stoic soldier. “I’m doing fine, thanks for asking,” he responded politely before sipping his beverage. She shook her head and pursed her lips. “How are you really?” He furrowed his brow and asked, “What do you mean?” He knew exactly what she meant. He silently cursed himself. She was just as perceptive as his mother. He had thought he was playing the content role pretty well. “What happened between you and Jaina?” she asked softly, watching him intently. His erect back stiffened, his jaw clenched, and his hand clamped tighter around the glass he was holding. Most would not have noticed his reaction, but he was sure the princess had. He had most definitely not been expecting her to ask such a pointed question. He hadn’t even expected her to draw that connection. He berated himself for underestimating her. His first instinct was to snap at her, to tell her it wasn’t any of her business. But it was her business. Jaina was her daughter; she deserved to know. He took a deep breath before replying. “We were close. After the war, I asked her to come with me to Csilla to meet my family and she refused; said she needed to find out where she belonged. The liaison thing didn’t work out, and we haven’t heard from each other since. We effectively broke up.” He recounted it matter-of-factly, like a debriefing, in order to keep his emotions under control. She noticed, of course. After a moment of silence, she looked him in the eye and, voice soft, asked him, “And how are you doing?” “Physically? I’m doing great. I’m in good shape, I get to fly often, and I’m making my way up the military ranks. I have all I’ve ever dreamed of.” He snorted in bitter amusement. “And emotionally?” she prodded. “I’m a wreck.” It was much easier to open up to Leia than he had thought it would be. She was almost a second mother to him, at least a close aunt. She just seemed to care so much that he felt he could confide in her, needed to confide in her. “My focus isn’t what it used to be. I keep finding myself reflecting on my time in the Known Regions. I keep finding myself thinking of Jaina and how much I miss her.” Leia smiled knowingly. “Have you tried contacting her?” “No.” Jag shook his head sharply. “I’m…afraid to.” He glanced up from his glass to look her in the eyes, and quickly looked back down. “I’m afraid if I contact her I’ll push her away. If she’s not ready, then hearing from me will only hinder the process.” He hesitated, sitting in silence for a moment. “And what if I contact her only to realize she’s moved on, that she doesn’t care for me anymore? I’m not sure I could live with that.” “But what if she does?” Leia rebutted gently. “Is it worth missing out on the relationship, trading it for an unhampered hope?” “No.” He could feel a lump growing in his throat and his eyes were beginning to burn. “You have no idea how many times I’ve been tempted to contact her, but she needs her space. She’s like a nexu. If you corner her, if she even feels like she’s being cornered, she’ll pounce and flee. I can’t bear to do that to her.” “If you give a nexu too much space, though, it gets lost and is in danger. They need just the right amount of security and protection. That’s why they dwell in ravines and caves. They have the feeling of freedom, while actually safe in a confined area. Maybe she has too much space.” “She said she needed to find out who she was, where she belonged. If I interrupt before she finds it, she won’t be content, just like last time.” “But if she belongs with you, will she be able to figure that out without being with you? Maybe you showing up would be the proof she needs to realize that you were all she was ever searching for.” “You really think so? Do you think she is ready to hear from me? Does she still care for me?” “I can’t answer that one way or another, Jagged. The two of you need to figure out those answers. What I can say is that I have never seen her happier than during those few years she was with you. Despite the war, the death of Anakin, Jacen’s disappearance, fighting with the darkness within her, and struggling with adulthood forced upon her, she found a light in you and was truly happy. She truly had peace with you. And for that alone I am extremely grateful.” She stood up and walked over, laying a hand on his shoulder. “Do what you want, but you need to do something. You can’t keep living in this fear, pacifying yourself with a distant hope. I hope you get everything figured out.” She laid a motherly kiss on his forehead. And she left him to his thoughts. TBC How about it? Dana -----signature----- Excited padawan of NYCitygurl Behind the Durasteel Mask: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28439445 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young..." 1 Timothy 4:12
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