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Author	Topic: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin AU vignette
Knight_Aragorn Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 6/8 9:37pm Subject: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin AU vignette - Date Edited: 6/23 2:52am (1 edits total) Edited By: Knight_Aragorn
	Title: "The Smell of Burning" Author: Knight_Aragorn Timeframe: A few years after the battle of Endor Characters: Luke Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker Keywords: Angst, AU, vignette Summary: Luke saved his father's life, but at what cost? Despite the searing brightness of the day, the room was in darkness when he walked in. They’d warned him it had been a bad month. He stopped just inside the doorway, blinking as he pulled off the cloak he wore over his tunic and trousers. It was a loose thing, deliberately rough, designed to keep off the suns and deflect close scrutiny. There was dust on his boots from the street outside. He stamped it away absently, stepping further into the room. His eyes had adjusted somewhat to the darkness, enough to make out the edge of shapes in the middle of the room. Over by the window was where the darkness was deepest. “Is the gloom necessary?” he asked of the shadow. There wasn’t a reply, but he hadn’t expected one. He crossed, picking his way easily around the shapes in the darkness. Medical instruments, furniture. The shape by the window didn’t move as he drew closer. He hesitated, then seated himself a little way back, on the room’s bed. “Brooding ill befits you,” he said. “Secrets ill befit you,” a voice replied from the centre of the shadow. It was a weak voice, scratchy with pain and disuse, but the tone was far from frail. There was a slight motion, and the shield on the window shifted, enough to let in a beam of light which fell squarely across Luke’s face. He flinched at the unexpected brightness, blinking to force his eyes to readjust. “What lie did you tell your friends this time?” The voice issued from the shadow again, untouched by the light that dazzled him. “They must suspect you of keeping a mistress somewhere, by this point.” An exhalation almost like a laugh, only bitter. “Maybe that’s what they think. Luke Skywalker’s off to visit his doxy again.” Luke reddened. “Would that you were,” said the voice, almost softly. From the sound of it, the speaker had turned away. “It would be healthier for you than this.” Luke stood, but didn’t know what to do once he’d done that. He opened his hands, turned and paced around the bed deliberately. He looked at the bare surface of the small table set for belongings by the bedside. There was a new chrono there, and a small monitor. He picked up the datacard that lay beside them, scrolled through the contents without really reading them – some kind of list, names and notations – and set it back down. He turned back. “How is it unhealthy for a son to make sure his father is cared for?” Something like a sigh from the shadow, a faint whistle through unobtrusive breathing equipment. “Luke,” his father said wearily. “You should have let me die.” “No.” Luke set his jaw. “You did neither one of us a kindness by bringing me back.” “I saved your life.” “Selfish, boy. You didn’t do it for me.” Luke turned away, then after a moment, turned back. “You won’t drive me away,” he said, voice low, but pitched to absolute calm. “Whatever you say.” He rearranged the few items on the bedside table. “This room is so bare,” he said, making his voice normal. “I don’t know why you won’t allow it to be decorated.” There was a silence. He could feel his father’s eyes on him as he moved – somewhat aimlessly – around the room, tidying the already lifelessly clean area. For all the medical equipment, the room didn’t smell starched or sterile. He was pleased about that. The loss of his hand had burned the smell of medbays into his subconscious into a way he didn’t think he’d ever shed. Sometimes he still had nightmares of that sharp scent in his nostrils as he lay drugged, a thousand hurts prickling under the dull throb of the severed wrist. “You’re like your mother,” his father said presently. “She hated secrets. Lies cost her something. Ate at her. I never understood that, because my life was a string of lies.” As abruptly as he’d spoken, he fell silent. “Some things are worth it,” Luke said, and heard the strange fierceness in his own voice. “She thought that too,” his father said lowly. “At least at first.” Luke jerkily folded a piece of medical sheeting, casting it down by the foot of the bed. An air cooler rattled somewhere in the gloom. “Why must you insist on being here?” he said. “Of all places. I could take you somewhere beautiful, you know. Somewhere restful and cool and lush. Anywhere you want. Anywhere in the galaxy.” He could feel his father watching him. “Was your childhood here that terrible?” A rare curiosity, a flicker of hesitancy. Luke felt his shoulders slump a little. “I swore I’d never come back here,” he said. “And yet you’re here.” “Yes. Because you wanted to spend your days in this place.” “Does it hurt you to be here?” Still curiosity, more than anything resembling concern. “Would it matter if it did?” “You choose to visit,” his father said, but Luke interrupted, denying his father the chance to finish the familiar rebuke. “My childhood wasn’t unhappy,” he said bluntly. “I had no reason for complaint. And you have no right to ask, anyway.” He found his voice rising, and strove to control it. “Owen and Beru raised me, fed me and clothed me and sacrificed their own security for me. Them, not you. Even if I barely acknowledged it while they lived.” There was something almost taken aback in the silence that followed. Luke picked up the cloth he’d folded before, checking the hem for threads or holes. He paid well to keep his father cared for, so he wouldn’t like to think the bandages were dirty or worn. He drew a breath, silently, and set the cloth down. “Sitting in darkness all day isn’t healthy,” he said, business-like. “If your eyes are sensitive, tell the staff.” “My thoughts aren’t suited to the light,” his father said. Luke turned to face him, eyes narrowed. “How is your sister?” his father said, ignoring the look Luke was giving him. “She’s well,” Luke said warily. “And?” Luke shrugged. “She works hard. Takes on many duties in the Alliance.” She and Han were both busy with those duties. They seemed to be closer all the time, while Luke was increasingly distant. It hurt sometimes to see them together, casually intimate in the glances they shared and the way they inhabited one another’s space so comfortably. Once he’d been close to Leia, but it seemed to have slipped away, and he was left feeling almost taken for granted. It was petty and shaming, but that knowledge didn’t diminish the worm of resentment he felt around them. “Leia has an instinct to lead,” his father said from the shadow, voice approving. Luke frowned. “She refuses to discuss the Force with me,” he said. “And she won’t even acknowledge the fact you’re our father, or listen to me when I try to explain how you were redeemed.” “She understands that redemption is more than a single good decision after years of very bad ones,” his father said. Luke straightened angrily. “It was more than a single decision,” he said. “You saved me from Palpatine. You destroyed him and brought light back to the galaxy. You forsook the darkness. For me.” “None of that erases the other things I’ve done,” his father said heavily. “Nor should it. Not all are as desperate to forgive as you are.” Luke stared at the shadow. His fingers cramped; he realised he was squeezing the fingers of his artificial hand tightly. He blinked a few times, standing in the darkness. Then he said, “I think I’ll go.” His picked up his cloak; moving stiffly, carefully, he pulled it on. “Luke,” his father said. Despite his infirmity, his voice still held the power of a man accustomed to authority. It sounded rootless now, framed in uncertainty as it was. Luke halted, and stood, arms limp, still and waiting. “I do – ” his father began, but stopped. “Come here,” he said after a moment, bleakly. Luke crossed and knelt by the chair. Up close the sound of his father’s breathing apparatus was unmistakable, whistling and rattling. His body smelled like mustiness and pain. Luke felt his father’s hand on his shoulder. The hand was gloved, though less thickly than when his father had been Vader. “Oh, Luke,” his father said. “My dear boy.” Luke leaned against him, squeezing his eyes shut. His father drew a ragged breath. “It’s doing damage to you,” he said. His voice fell. “It shouldn’t have been this way.” “Death is no victory,” Luke said softly. There was a faint noise from his father, a lurch of the body he leaned against, a movement beneath the soft worn fibres over hard mechanical parts. A laugh, or a choke. “Luke,” his father said. “I am so very far beyond caring about victory or defeat. Don’t you understand that?” Luke closed his eyes, bowed his head. “Sometimes I don’t understand you at all,” his father said distantly. “Other times I understand you too well, and it frightens me.” Luke wasn’t sure he wanted to consider that statement in too much depth. His father moved blunt fingers, clumsily patting his shoulder. “Leia, now,” his father said, “Leia sounds much like your mother.” Perhaps he didn’t notice Luke’s slight bracing. “Look after her.” Luke drew back, rubbed his head. “She looks after herself well enough.” “So did your mother, but she still died, Luke. I loved her. I killed her.” The rhythm of rise and fall in his father’s body hitched slightly, though device controlling his breathing didn’t allow unevenness in his exhalation. “That was long ago,” Luke said softly. “It doesn’t feel that way to me.” Luke stood. “She would kill you, you know,” he said bluntly. “If Leia had even the suggestion of your existence here, she would send troops to burn you out. She would not hesitate. Not for your sake. Not for mine. She hates you.” “I know.” Luke turned to glare through window. The slit in the darkened screen his father had opened earlier showed the sandy street outside. Farmers in dusty desertwear stood outside the domed residences opposite, a pack-loaded Bantha chewing lazily beside them. A young woman about his age sat on the step of the next residence, staring at nothing, one leg hitched, bare tanned skin showing beneath the skirt she wore. Luke felt a distant pang, linked to no one and nothing in particular. “How goes your quest with the Jedi?” his father asked delicately, when he had stood silent too long. “Very well,” Luke lied. He’d not told his father how the act of bringing him back from the brink of death had affected his use of the Force. Drawing so deeply on the power of the Force, doing so after coming so close to surrendering to the darkness that clamoured on the edge of his awareness as he’d battered Vader down – it had been too much, and he feared it had burned him somehow, for when he reached for the Force now it seemed tainted in oily shadow, always whispering of power he suspected he should never have drawn on. He was both hungry for it, and terrified of using it. He thought that his feelings influenced his touch on the Force, for there were times it came strongly and easily to his touch, and other moments were he strove to grasp it but couldn’t. “You’ve found other Force sensitives, then?” There was an element of distant surprise to his father’s voice. “I thought I had hunted down the last of them.” “A few,” Luke said. “A slave boy from the mines of Kessel, a girl, an old Jedi or two who went into hiding.” Half-mad, now, those he’d found. All the deaths, perhaps. He wondered how Obi-Wan and Yoda had coped. And none of them wanting to re-join the Jedi or learn the Force, even if he were capable of teaching it. He suspected at times that the dismal state of his quest was the only reason Leia permitted him to continue it, given her fears about the power of the Jedi. “I’m pleased to hear that,” his father said. “Pleased to hear your task is going well. I know it means much to you.” Luke turned back, set a smile on his face. His father breathed, softly whistling in and out. “You must leave now, Luke.” Luke’s smile fell. He stepped back to his father’s chair in the shadow, went down on one knee before him. “I want to – ” “No. Leave now.” Luke’s hands opened, pleading. “A little longer.” “No, Luke.” “Please, Father. Let me stay.” His hand fell on his father’s sleeve, fixing desperately to that touch. He tried to meet his eyes, but his face was a pale blur in the deep shadow. His father pushed him away gently. “You have to leave now, Luke.” Luke stayed a moment on his knees, then turned his face away, exhaled and stood. “Goodbye, Father.” “Goodbye, son.” Luke stood for a long moment, waiting for more, waiting for a relenting. His father said nothing. Luke turned and left. He fixed up the accounts with the staff, paying without comment from his private funds. When he exited into the stifling Tatooine heat, he saw that the young woman was still lounging opposite, watching the street disinterestedly. She wasn’t beautiful, but she was pretty. She wore her hair loose and long. She would have work-callused hands, he thought, and strong lean fingers. As she looked up at him in interest, he thought that his father could probably see him, watching alone from that dark window over the hot empty street. He nodded to the woman coolly, and turned on his heel for his distant ship. -end- -----signature----- Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. Pieces of Air (ESB short story, complete) - http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27283200/p1
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Gabri_Jade Title: Fan Fiction Archive Editor Emeritus Registered: Nov '02	Date Posted: 6/9 2:43am Subject: RE: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin post RotJ AU vignette
	Ooh, something new from you - and it's been a while since I recall you writing something that wasn't L/M. Mind, you know how much I adore L/M, but variety can be fun. I like this whole scenario, firstly. So many "Anakin survives" fics involve more normality, more happiness; this is not only an interesting change, but I suspect it's also closer to the reality of what that situation would involve. “What lie did you tell your friends this time?” The voice issued from the shadow again, untouched by the light that dazzled him. “They must suspect you of keeping a mistress somewhere, by this point.” An exhalation almost like a laugh, only bitter. “Maybe that’s what they think. Luke Skywalker’s off to visit his doxy again.” Luke reddened. “Would that you were,” said the voice, almost softly. From the sound of it, the speaker had turned away. “It would be healthier for you than this.” I like this brief passage perhaps more than its significance to the vig warrants, and I can't quite explain why. There seems to be a lot of meaning beneath the surface - implications of what's lacking in Luke's life, implications of old and bitter ironies of Anakin's. Words fail me at the moment, but I really like it. “You did neither one of us a kindness by bringing me back.” “I saved your life.” “Selfish, boy. You didn’t do it for me.” Luke turned away, then after a moment, turned back. “You won’t drive me away,” he said, voice low, but pitched to absolute calm. “Whatever you say.” That's Luke, all right; stubborn, so very stubborn, and sometimes about things that truly need to be let go . . . Luke shrugged. “She works hard. Takes on many duties in the Alliance.” She and Han were both busy with those duties. They seemed to be closer all the time, while Luke was increasingly distant. It hurt sometimes to see them together, casually intimate in the glances they shared and the way they inhabited one another’s space so comfortably. Once he’d been close to Leia, but it seemed to have slipped away, and he was left feeling almost taken for granted. It was petty and shaming, but that knowledge didn’t diminish the worm of resentment he felt around them. I like this, too, because it is so very well described. I could easily see loneliness eat at even Luke in such a way, especially when he's keeping a secret of this magnitude, which gives him so little true joy. “She understands that redemption is more than a single good decision after years of very bad ones,” his father said. Luke straightened angrily. “It was more than a single decision,” he said. “You saved me from Palpatine. You destroyed him and brought light back to the galaxy. You forsook the darkness. For me.” “None of that erases the other things I’ve done,” his father said heavily. “Nor should it. Not all are as desperate to forgive as you are.” True, very true, much as I love Anakin's choice in favor of Luke, and as much as it accomplished. And if Anakin found himself in a situation like this, redeemed enough to ponder these things and with little else to do, I think he'd feel exactly this way, and his past deeds would eat at him quite a bit. “Very well,” Luke lied. He’d not told his father how the act of bringing him back from the brink of death had affected his use of the Force. Drawing so deeply on the power of the Force, doing so after coming so close to surrendering to the darkness that clamoured on the edge of his awareness as he’d battered Vader down – it had been too much, and he feared it had burned him somehow, for when he reached for the Force now it seemed tainted in oily shadow, always whispering of power he suspected he should never have drawn on. He was both hungry for it, and terrified of using it. He thought that his feelings influenced his touch on the Force, for there were times it came strongly and easily to his touch, and other moments were he strove to grasp it but couldn’t. Oh, poor Luke. So much lost through the best of intentions. So like his father. When he exited into the stifling Tatooine heat, he saw that the young woman was still lounging opposite, watching the street disinterestedly. She wasn’t beautiful, but she was pretty. She wore her hair loose and long. She would have work-callused hands, he thought, and strong lean fingers. As she looked up at him in interest, he thought that his father could probably see him, watching alone from that dark window over the hot empty street. He nodded to the woman coolly, and turned on his heel for his distant ship. This is like that first passage I quoted: it seems simple, maybe insignificant even, but there's so much implicit meaning. There's so much of life that Luke is cutting himself off from, in large part due to the weight of his secret. And that desperate desire for connection with his father that shaped so many of his actions in the OT somehow edges into the realm of obsession here, with Anakin's survival; alive or not, redeemed or not, Anakin is no longer capable of supplying what Luke wants so badly, and because Anakin is still alive and physically present, Luke can't seem to give up that hope and move on. Anakin's right; there's nothing left for him in this life, and the situation is unhealthy for Luke in a whole variety of ways. Darkish this vig might be, but it's very thought-provoking, and well written enough to be a joy to read. I like it very, very much. -----signature----- Evil Twin of LadyPadme This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us! - Futurama All I can do is be me. Whoever that is. -Bob Dylan The Space Between Heartbeats - L/M AU vig http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/28870280 !!11!1eleventy
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KELIA Title: Moderator: Fan Fiction Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 6/9 3:23am Subject: RE: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin post RotJ AU vignette
	That was so bittersweet. I can understand Luke's desperate need to keep Anakin alive but..at what cost to them both? It's heartbreaking to picture Anakin spending his days couped up all alone on Tatooine but I can understand his reasons for doing so. Great job on this -----signature----- "Do or do not, there is no try." Master Yoda A Light In The Darkness: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28150602/p1/?8 Undue Circumstances: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28530583/p1/?10
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LadyPadme Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Sep '02	Date Posted: 6/9 3:54am Subject: RE: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin post RotJ AU vignette
	How beautifully bittersweet. Mostly bitter, but then you always do angsty so well. There's a desperate sadness underlying this whole story. Both of them know they don't have what they want and they both know they can't give each other what the other wants. Poor Luke, essentially cutting himself off from life as Vader did, but for such different reasons. Wonderful and poignant. Thanks for sharing! -----signature----- Crest MD Naimé Evil Twin of Gabri_Jade When a baby smiles the world is happy VOTE OBAMA '08
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VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 6/9 4:45am Subject: RE: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin post RotJ AU vignette
	That was perfect. Absolutely perfect. You've captured the anger, desperation, love, and darkness so well in this. But that's no surprise at all. “How is your sister?” his father said, ignoring the look Luke was giving him. “She’s well,” Luke said warily. “And?” Luke shrugged. “She works hard. Takes on many duties in the Alliance.” She and Han were both busy with those duties. They seemed to be closer all the time, while Luke was increasingly distant. It hurt sometimes to see them together, casually intimate in the glances they shared and the way they inhabited one another’s space so comfortably. Once he’d been close to Leia, but it seemed to have slipped away, and he was left feeling almost taken for granted. It was petty and shaming, but that knowledge didn’t diminish the worm of resentment he felt around them. “Leia has an instinct to lead,” his father said from the shadow, voice approving. Luke frowned. “She refuses to discuss the Force with me,” he said. “And she won’t even acknowledge the fact you’re our father, or listen to me when I try to explain how you were redeemed.” “She understands that redemption is more than a single good decision after years of very bad ones,” his father said. Luke straightened angrily. “It was more than a single decision,” he said. “You saved me from Palpatine. You destroyed him and brought light back to the galaxy. You forsook the darkness. For me.” “None of that erases the other things I’ve done,” his father said heavily. “Nor should it. Not all are as desperate to forgive as you are.” This was my favorite part. As always, your work is stunning. -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
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ViariSkywalker Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 6/9 11:09am Subject: RE: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin post RotJ AU vignette
	Excellent, truly excellent. I love the darkness; I could almost feel it. He’d not told his father how the act of bringing him back from the brink of death had affected his use of the Force. Drawing so deeply on the power of the Force, doing so after coming so close to surrendering to the darkness that clamoured on the edge of his awareness as he’d battered Vader down – it had been too much, and he feared it had burned him somehow, for when he reached for the Force now it seemed tainted in oily shadow, always whispering of power he suspected he should never have drawn on. He was both hungry for it, and terrified of using it. He thought that his feelings influenced his touch on the Force, for there were times it came strongly and easily to his touch, and other moments were he strove to grasp it but couldn’t. I LOVE this passage. What an incredible description of the dark side and how it lies in wait. The relationship between Luke and Anakin, given the circumstances, is spot on IMO. I'm pretty sure Anakin wouldn't have been able to forgive himself, and I think you captured that perfectly, along with Luke's frustration that everything is not turning out the way he thought it would. I also loved the brief references to Leia, how she's closer to Han than Luke, how she hates Anakin. Even though Anakin says she is so much like Padmé, I think what Luke said about her hints at her being in some ways like Anakin himself. There is just so much to love about this fic. The descriptions, the dialogue, and the fact that nothing is really resolved. It feels like one more day in this increasingly dark life for Luke and Anakin. I love that you didn't wrap everything up in a nice tidy package. This isn't happily ever after. Bravo, K_A! Wonderful job! -----signature----- Big Sis of Lady_Rae Veil of Shadows (OT AU, L/M) - http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/28500417 The Dark Fire Chronicles (OT AU) - http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/11960028 ANGST!
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Tahi Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 6/13 1:56pm Subject: RE: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin post RotJ AU vignette
	This is great, K_A - an intriguing exploration of a kind of obsessive denial. His eyes had adjusted somewhat to the darkness, enough to make out the edge of shapes in the middle of the room. Over by the window was where the darkness was deepest. I thought it was interesting that the darkness was deepest near the window. It kind of meshed with the whole atmosphere in the viggie of darkness existing where one assumes there should be light, of things being hidden. I like the way you explore Luke's darker potential. It's true that people can become obsessed with a need to help and save people. It's like a compulsion, and it's not always healthy - as in this case. Sometimes keeping someone alive is a form of cruelty - and is done really to make the doer feel better rather than the patient/victim. I like the whole examination of selfishness here, and of Luke not being able to let go. Death isn't failure - in fact here it would be a release. One wonders if there is some way in which Luke is punishing his father by keeping him like this. Curious thought. I like the way you hint at this being a way for Luke to kind of turn his back on life. It's like he's stuck in a moment that he doesn't want to relinquish - a moment where he felt good for "saving" his dad. It's also an excuse for not dealing with reality. Anyway - this is a very provocative piece because it poses some questions about Luke's psyche which IMO are valid. I like your explorations of people's darker sides. And this is, as usual, written exquisitely. -----signature----- Anahiri #6 http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/18446448/p33 The magazine for A/T fans Many Happy Returns http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/11018706/p81/?2011 Master to THE_PIED_PIPER
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Jedi-2B Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 6/14 11:15am Subject: RE: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin post RotJ AU vignette
	This was so realistic, that it makes me glad that Vader didn't survive. I can see it taking a toll on Luke like this. Excellent vignette. -----signature----- It was on her fifteenth day in the darkness of the Nirauan cave when Mara Jade awoke to discover a rescuer had finally arrived. It was not, however, any of the potential rescuers she would have expected. It was Luke. ~~And the rest is history~~
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divapilot Registered: Nov '05	Date Posted: 6/14 5:12pm Subject: RE: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin post RotJ AU vignette
	Very interesting and deceptively simple. The idea that Luke has saved Vader but the cost to his own soul has nearly doomed him. His sporadic ability to access the Force, and the "oily" texture the Force has for him now are the costs to try to perform miracles. He should not have tampered with such things as life and death. The girl is an interesting character, especially after this conversation: “They must suspect you of keeping a mistress somewhere, by this point.” An exhalation almost like a laugh, only bitter. “Maybe that’s what they think. Luke Skywalker’s off to visit his doxy again.” Luke reddened. “Would that you were,” said the voice, almost softly. From the sound of it, the speaker had turned away. “It would be healthier for you than this.” He is interested, she looks him over, but it will never come about. Luke has given his life over to a futile quest and he knows that it has taken the best of life away from him. I love how you play with the idea of burning -- the burning heat of the planet, the burned future and dreams for Luke. Well done! -----signature----- Never tell me the odds. AKL "Beyond the Wall" http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28964433/p1/?6 The Society for Girls Who Like Things that Go Boom. (M. Corde, Pres.) "This is your badness level." ~ Lilo!
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Knight_Aragorn Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 6/23 2:56am Subject: RE: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin post RotJ AU vignette
	Gabri: So many "Anakin survives" fics involve more normality, more happiness; this is not only an interesting change, but I suspect it's also closer to the reality of what that situation would involve. That's been my experience too with the fics where Anakin lives past RotJ. Those fics have their own merits, but I was in a mood for something more twisty. I like this brief passage perhaps more than its significance to the vig warrants, and I can't quite explain why. There seems to be a lot of meaning beneath the surface - implications of what's lacking in Luke's life, implications of old and bitter ironies of Anakin's. Words fail me at the moment, but I really like it. I almost got rid of that part; it didn't mesh quite right, but it felt wrong to remove it, because it does speak a lot of things that seem to lie just below the surface. True, very true, much as I love Anakin's choice in favor of Luke, and as much as it accomplished. And if Anakin found himself in a situation like this, redeemed enough to ponder these things and with little else to do, I think he'd feel exactly this way, and his past deeds would eat at him quite a bit. In some ways I find it hard to wrap my head around an older Anakin, so I'm glad that his thoughts there made sense. And that desperate desire for connection with his father that shaped so many of his actions in the OT somehow edges into the realm of obsession here, with Anakin's survival; alive or not, redeemed or not, Anakin is no longer capable of supplying what Luke wants so badly, and because Anakin is still alive and physically present, Luke can't seem to give up that hope and move on. It's as though they're trapped in this cycle where Anakin is trying to make Luke give up on him and let go, while Luke is refusing, clinging more firmly and desperately to that hope. Ah, angst. Thank you so much for the lovely feedback. KELIA: Yes, best intentions on both sides, but it didn't end up as hoped. Thank you for the reply. LadyPadme: Luke and Anakin parallels were fun to play around with in this fic. As of course, was the angst. Thank you! VaderLVR64: I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading! ViariSkywalker: The relationship between Luke and Anakin, given the circumstances, is spot on IMO. I'm pretty sure Anakin wouldn't have been able to forgive himself, and I think you captured that perfectly, along with Luke's frustration that everything is not turning out the way he thought it would. I also loved the brief references to Leia, how she's closer to Han than Luke, how she hates Anakin. Even though Anakin says she is so much like Padmé, I think what Luke said about her hints at her being in some ways like Anakin himself. I think there's more of Anakin in both of the twins than Anakin really wants to think about, the poor guy. The descriptions, the dialogue, and the fact that nothing is really resolved. It feels like one more day in this increasingly dark life for Luke and Anakin. I love that you didn't wrap everything up in a nice tidy package. This isn't happily ever after. Definitely not. Torturing characters is such a good way to vent some assignment frustration. Tahi: I thought it was interesting that the darkness was deepest near the window. It kind of meshed with the whole atmosphere in the viggie of darkness existing where one assumes there should be light, of things being hidden. I seem to have a thing with mood lighting in my fics. I'm glad it worked, though. I like the way you explore Luke's darker potential. It's true that people can become obsessed with a need to help and save people. It's like a compulsion, and it's not always healthy - as in this case. Sometimes keeping someone alive is a form of cruelty - and is done really to make the doer feel better rather than the patient/victim. I like the whole examination of selfishness here, and of Luke not being able to let go. Death isn't failure - in fact here it would be a release. One wonders if there is some way in which Luke is punishing his father by keeping him like this. Curious thought. That is a good notion. I think Luke does have some more subtle triggers for darkness - sometimes that hero complex can be taken too far. Anyway - this is a very provocative piece because it poses some questions about Luke's psyche which IMO are valid. I like your explorations of people's darker sides. Thank you. Really glad you enjoyed it. Jedi-2B: This was so realistic, that it makes me glad that Vader didn't survive. I can see it taking a toll on Luke like this. Luke's so desperate to try to keep Anakin alive in that last section of RotJ that I always wondered what would happen if things had gone differently. I don't think it would be quite as he imagined it, whatever he imagined. Thanks so much for reading! divapilot: The idea that Luke has saved Vader but the cost to his own soul has nearly doomed him. His sporadic ability to access the Force, and the "oily" texture the Force has for him now are the costs to try to perform miracles. He should not have tampered with such things as life and death. nod I don't think he thought it through, just acted on impulse, and it perhaps wasn't on the best of motivations - desperately trying to keep Anakin there, more for his own sake than Anakin's. He is interested, she looks him over, but it will never come about. Luke has given his life over to a futile quest and he knows that it has taken the best of life away from him. In a sense he's making the opposite decision to the one Anakin did, but there are similar emotions at the core - that desperate need to sustain the life of a loved one, perhaps beyond reason. If that makes sense? Thank you so much for reading, and for the wonderful feedback. -----signature----- Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. Pieces of Air (ESB short story, complete) - http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27283200/p1
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ginchy Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 6/23 6:24am Subject: RE: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin AU vignette
	Man, y'all are trying to wrench my gut with these Luke and Vader fics today, aren't ya?? I agree that this is bittersweet--it's hard to read Luke this way, and even harder to know that the pain of losing Anakin so soon after 'gaining' him may have been better than this pain could ever have been. You and Furry--always trying to make me think. -----signature----- ginchy's gambit: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/29089731/p1/?73
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Jedi Trace Title: • SouthEast RSA • Fan Fiction Manager Registered: Dec '99	Date Posted: 6/29 8:34pm Subject: RE: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin AU vignette
	I. loved. this. Luke/Vader sings to me and this was a freakin' aria. For all the happy endings I'd have liked for Anakin/Vader, I think this is probably the most realistic interpretation I've seen. Love can ignite the stars but it can't erase the past. Brava!! -----signature----- Captain of the Cade Brigade “Light, dark – They are just directions. Do not be fooled that you stand on anything other than your own two feet.” ~ Shaak Ti, The Force Unleashed The Society for Girls Who Like Things that Go Boom
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tamiki Registered: Jul '05	Date Posted: 7/3 2:42pm Subject: RE: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin AU vignette
	Absolute wonderful vignette. The scenario is different than most Vader survives stories, but very plausible and indeed very tragic. Great characterization.
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iamobiwan1970 Registered: Aug '05	Date Posted: 7/3 4:05pm Subject: RE: The Smell of Burning -- darkish Luke & Anakin AU vignette
	The title drew me in. I enjoy Anakin survived fics and this one did not disappoint. You can't go from Vader back to normal in just the blink of an eye. You captured Anakin/Vader's self loathing and regret perfectly. The strained relationships created by the situation were realistic. I suspect the man would hope Leia would hunt him down. I've always thought she was more like him. I liked this line: “You’re like your mother,” his father said presently. “She hated secrets. Lies cost her something. Ate at her. I never understood that, because my life was a string of lies.” As abruptly as he’d spoken, he fell silent. “Some things are worth it,” Luke said, and heard the strange fierceness in his own voice. “She thought that too,” his father said lowly. “At least at first.” The lies cost both of them dearly. Perhaps that is what Anakin is trying to remind his son. Impressive! -----signature----- Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there, with open arms and open eyes.
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