Jedi Council Forums - In a Strange Land - L/M AU

Jedi Council Forums » Fan Fiction » Beyond the Saga »

Post Reply | Active Topic Notification | Previous Active Topic | Next Active Topic

Author	Topic: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot
furrylittlebantha Registered: Dec '05	Date Posted: 6/21 8:02pm Subject: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot - Date Edited: 6/21 8:12pm (9 edits total) Edited By: furrylittlebantha
	Title: In a Strange Land Author: furrylittlebantha Characters: L/M Summary: Luke went MIA and was never heard from again. Years later, Mara hears of a planet where he may have crashed. What she finds will leave her forever changed. Note: This one is a little odd. Hey, you try reading three Ursula K. Leguin novels in a night and writing a fic directly after. ---------------------------- Your woman from the stars came for you today. She is very ugly and rude. I will give her some food and she ate it. Her talk is loud. It did not stop unless there is food on it. I will pray for the spirits to take her back into the stars but they say she has their blessing so I left her alive. Dear Mara: I love you. I’m going to say that often in this letter, because it’s written on bark with a burnt stick and who knows what fragments will survive? My best hope is that Wife will wad the whole thing into an amulet. Of course, she won’t show it to you unless you earn her trust, but that shouldn’t be too hard. I did it. (I love you, Mara. I always did, and I always will.) [unreadable] went MIA in [unreadable] no way of knowing how much time has passed. Things are so different Here; there’s no way I can explain it, so I won’t. Even communicating like this is alien now, mindspeech compressed into thought translated linearly to a tactile sense for decoding. I’m so afraid I might miss something in my clumsiness. (I love [unreadable] curious [unreadable] have tried, for your sake, to push back through layers of sluggish memory to describe what happened in a way you can [unreadable] ship failure [unreadable] sabotage likely [unreadable] The Maruh is hairless and pale like you are. When I touch her face I feel bones underneath that are like mine but spread apart and thin. I took my fingers back and sucked them and tasted much anger and fear and aloneness. You do not taste like your woman. love [unreadable] do not care about the circumstances of how I came. I am Here, and that is enough. That is not to say, in your terms, that I never cared. Once, I think, it mattered. I think I used to be angry, and lie awake at nights wondering what the point of living was anymore, now that I was likely to never see my loved ones again. I think. What I do know—and I never say ‘know’ lightly anymore—is that I love you. Son comes in with the skin of his first kill on his shoulders. I thought: the Maruh will like to see this. She will like to see Son who is almost as ugly as she with his honor on his shoulders. I will show him to the Maruh. She is very rude. Her loud talk hurts our insides. Son does not understand and tried to kill her. I said: she has the blessing of the spirits and she is the Father’s woman from the stars. Water came out of her eyes like they come out of Son’s eyes and like they came out of your eyes. Son asked: is she like me. I give Son food and tell him to watch the Maruh. The Animals need food, too. I quickly realized that any hope of leaving this planet on my own was nonexistent. Metal-working is as much of a mystery to them as quantum mechanics. I love you. The ignorance isn’t so much the issue as the—I don’t have a linguistic equivalent. The closest word is apathy, and that doesn’t begin to [unreadable; capture?] I will take her to see you and then I gave her my amulet because I do not think she is evil. She is ugly and rude and loud but not evil. Evil was not the same thing as bad. Maruh is bad: she is barren. None of the men will come to her because of her ugliness and she is not caring. [unreadable] one who tended to my injuries looked like they all did. After a while, though, my mind cleared enough that I could tell she was a young female. That took a long time. I can’t express the shock it gave me to see this—this face above me when I came to, humanoid but far more alien than anything I’ve ever encountered. It was her eyes. The way of life of the People is bound up in their eyes. Are ours the same? Could someone stare into the eyes of [unreadable] see the loneliness and mortality in our hearts? (I love you.) I keep wandering off the chronological order of events with these thoughts, sorry. As I said, this communication is [unreadable] She says: I thought you were taking me to Luk. I will say: foolish woman, it is dark. She will say: it’s just night—the dawn will come soon. I told her: it is dark. Her talk was loud again and water comes out of her eyes again. She said: it was light out just a few hours ago and in a few hours it will be light again, don’t you understand that? I say: foolish, foolish woman and gave her some food and think maybe Blind Man could take her and she would not be bad anymore. I was a stranger in a strange land. Everything I did or said was wrong. You know the orientation bits when they told us what to expect from a primitive culture? All that name exchange and curiosity? None of it helped me. They were utterly without interest about me and where I came from. It was if I had always been there, and they didn’t need to tell me or ask me anything at all. Eventually I ran out of questions. (I love you.) I remember that day, the turning point. The girl who rescued me was sitting beside me on a riverbank. We were fishing. (The downside of always having been somewhere is that you don’t get any guest privileges. I was expected from day one to pull my load.) Up until that point I had no idea how these people communicated. They never spoke a word. In fact, when I spoke aloud they seemed very offended and even in physical pain, so I learned to go about silently, too. And then she decided to talk to me. It was—indescribable, Mara. Far more than telepathy; it was like she dumped the contents of her soul into my head. This is what I meant when I wished I could let you see my mind. It’s instant comprehension of another living being in the fullest sense of the word, and oh, Mara, how it binds. Do you know what the first thing she said to me, in that staggering language? Apparently, she was pregnant with my son. We are walking down to your house and she was being rude and talking with loud hurting talks. She says: you act as if last night never existed, as if you promised to take me to Luk just a second ago. She said: have you no concept of time? That’s the thing {unreadable} tenses mean nothing {unreadable} past, present, future {unreadable} the same {unreadable} history and the {unreadable; future?} mean absolutely nothing {unreadable} love {unreadable} if someone dies it’s not like they don’t know he’s dead but they just go on behaving as if they’re still {unreadable} and in a way, they are, {unreadable} though I have followed the ways of the Force all my life, the idea of a conscious deity always seemed at best {unreadable} , but here, their ‘spirits’ {unreadable} Mara, laugh, but I can’t help but wonder if we’re the ones wrong and the spirits {unreadable} anyway, when Wife said she was pregnant with my son, obviously chronologically {unreadable} impossible at the time {unreadable} in her mind it already had {unreadable} like I said, watch out for their tenses {unreadable} think about it. A people who {unreadable} entirely in the {unreadable} survival. That means mating is part of their morality, because it truly is the morality of pure existence, I {unreadable} The Maruh was making the water in her eyes while she looks at you. I pick up your shank bone and rub it to my face and I said: see, Maruh, he is here. She is not talking loud or being rude. She answers back in mindspeech very polite and I will see her big sadness. I lay you down with the rest of you and took your woman in my hands. I will say: he is here. I saw him inside your head the way he is in my head. You do not need to have been angry or lonely or rude when there are alive things outside around you and alive things inside you. That’s why they don’t use names; why pin a designation onto a thing that simply is? These are People. We are Here. It is Now. I became one of them, Mara. I am a Person now. Yes, I say now, even though as you’re reading this I’m probably dead. Because in the end, my attempt to speak as you do was a failure. My mind doesn’t work that way anymore. Lots of what I told you didn’t happen in the order I said. But [unreadable] It is dark. We hear the Maruh in her thing that will take her back up to the stars. I say: spirits, she is a good one to gave your blessing to. [unreadable] simply cannot hold onto the old patterns. That’s why I keep telling you how much I love you; it’s so natural to express. So easy. Mara, through all of the [unreadable] different I am, that never changed. I have always [unreadable; loved?] ----------------------------------------------- edits because I had to post the stupid thing in parts -----signature----- Master of tjace and bi0nic. Old Hutt proverb: Never look a gift Sarlaac in the mouth. All hail the Lazer Jar-Jar!
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
C1-J2 Registered: May '07	Date Posted: 6/21 10:00pm Subject: RE: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot
	Ah poor Luke and Mara! This one was a little odd, but I liked it! It was definitely a different take on the primitive minds, and Luke becoming one of them was kind of cool, in a creepy sort of way. It was eerie seeing how much they had changed him. I wonder how angry Mara was when she found out that 'Wife' had had Luke's son. Good job! -----signature----- The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? Psalm 27:1 ". . . you will never again be frightened by what you might have become. Or indeed, by what your future might make you." -Lucien Percival Smith, The Boys Next Door Christian1st-Jedi2n
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Gabri_Jade Title: Fan Fiction Archive Editor Emeritus Registered: Nov '02	Date Posted: 6/21 10:11pm Subject: RE: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot
	I love it. I love it. And I don't think I have the words to explain exactly why, and although I liked it at first read, I had to let it sink in for a little bit before I realized that I loved it. And I still don't quite know why, but I do. I've never read any Ursula K. Leguin books (though now you're going to have to tell me which ones you read, because I am intrigued ), but the atmosphere here is simultaneously surreal and utterly believable. I think it reminds me of A Swiftly Tilting Planet - or was it A Wrinkle in Time? It's been so long since I read either that I'd almost forgotten about the aliens Meg ran into that (I think) didn't have eyes, but the feel I get reading this vig reminds me of how I felt reading that. The pacing and structure of this is just spot on. It pulls the reader in with these invisible, intangible, yet entirely unbreakable mental ropes. And the more I read, the more plausible the whole thing felt, and each paragraph felt more and more natural. You accomplished the creation of the People's time sense for the reader, btw: I didn't consciously see the ending coming, but when I got to that point, it felt so natural that I felt as though it had always been that way, and as though I had to have been aware of it in some sense even when I wasn't. Hard to explain, but considering that you wrote this, I'm betting you'll understand. Wife's voice is perfectly realized, I think, as is Luke's and - oddly enough - Mara's. It's all just - right, on some level. So wrong - how could anyone have wished this life on Luke, no matter how natural it became? - and yet so right, somehow, and I can't think how to explain why it's right, it just is. What I do know—and I never say ‘know’ lightly anymore—is that I love you. That is one of the most poignant and touching lines I've ever read, especially in context. The way Luke repeats "I love you" so often in hopes that at least one of them will survive is a close second in poignancy. Have you ever looked at an unusual piece of art and thought that you weren't sure you understood it or fully appreciated it, but it touched something inside of you and you loved it anyway, understood or not? That's how I feel about this. Really a beautiful piece of work. I'm always so deeply impressed at the ideas and premises and situations that seem impossible to properly execute, that you manage to make sing. My darling, whatever else you do with your life, keep writing. Professional or amateur, it hardly matters; but it would be a crime to not share the stories you come up with. -----signature----- Evil Twin of LadyPadme This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us! - Futurama All I can do is be me. Whoever that is. -Bob Dylan The Space Between Heartbeats - L/M AU vig http://boards.theforce.net/b/b1/28870280 !!11!1eleventy
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
LadyPadme Title: Manager Emeritus Registered: Sep '02	Date Posted: 6/22 11:12am Subject: RE: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot
	Gabri recommended this fic, and so I thought I'd take a peek. What a disturbingly beautiful, strangely rendered but lovely story this was. In such a short space you accomplished a wonderful feat, making us understand the People or at least grasp how wide a gap it is between their ways and ours with their telepathic one-ness. It truly seems these are a people in harmony with nature and the Force the way few could ever be. It was both otherworldly and fully believable. Thank you for this lovely story. -----signature----- Crest MD Naimé Evil Twin of Gabri_Jade When a baby smiles the world is happy VOTE OBAMA '08
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
maramijade Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 6/22 7:39pm Subject: RE: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot
	wow. . . very well done ! -----signature----- If computer Geeks were wizards. . . . . . I'd be a second year at Hogwarts, born to muggles
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
DaenaBenjen42 Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 6/22 11:03pm Subject: RE: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot - Date Edited: 6/22 11:04pm (1 edits total) Edited By: DaenaBenjen42
	You mentioned Ursula K. Leguin at the top and I just had to do a google search... interesting. Never heard of her before. Oh, right... I was here to read, not do a google search... sorry... Review... This got to me on my second pass, right about here... Even communicating like this is alien now, mindspeech compressed into thought translated linearly to a tactile sense for decoding. I’m so afraid I might miss something in my clumsiness. (I love [unreadable] curious [unreadable] have tried, for your sake, to push back through layers of sluggish memory to describe what happened in a way you can [unreadable] ship failure [unreadable] sabotage likely [unreadable] He's been there so long and thinking coherently and linearly is hard. That's... wow. Wife's observations are interesting, and she's truthful in how she speaks. Liked her. Well done, furry. I liked this. (and Mara crying at seeing Luke for the first time in who knows how long? Heartrending.) -----signature----- "Say it with me now. Postcard. Zoo. Not. Shopping." master to jackyyy17, micky-nikki & Trimaj e-sis: BrightFeather & BrentusofGath All cats are leopards after dark.
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Knight_Aragorn Registered: Jun '03	Date Posted: 6/23 2:06am Subject: RE: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot
	Wow, this one definitely bears re-reading. Hee, three Le Guin books in one night? I can well imagine. One of hers is generally enough to leave me in an odd frame of mind. (Odd, but good, of course) And I was getting some Heinlein-esque vibes too - 'stranger in a strange land', the very science fiction feel to the story with the People and their means of communication and perception of time. It sounds like Luke has been through a huge journey while he was there, redefining - well, everything, from the sound of his words in the letter fragments. Identity, place and meaning, time and truth, and yet he is still Luke, and what a perfect touch, the way he repeats throughout his letter that he loves Mara, because he's so desperate on that being communicated across. It also poses some questions about the definition of primitive, because to Mara's view, and Luke's originally - and probably to ours - the People seem undeveloped, but then they see those without their advanced abilities of communication as fundamentally crude. It's really very fascinating. Wonderful story, unique and brilliant. Amazing work. -----signature----- Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. Pieces of Air (ESB short story, complete) - http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27283200/p1
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
ginchy Registered: May '05	Date Posted: 6/23 6:46am Subject: RE: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot - Date Edited: 6/23 8:59am (2 edits total) Edited By: ginchy
	I think my head exploded. LOL Like I said in my reivew of K_A's fic today--you and she are always trying to make me think! In any case, I believe this fic has broken my heart, because it seems that Luke knew what had happened to him, but it could not be fixed or changed or made better, and for someone like Luke, who always believed that things could be made better... well, that's a hard thing to swallow. -----signature----- ginchy's gambit: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/29089731/p1/?73
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Myriad_Daydreams Registered: Jun '07	Date Posted: 6/23 6:55am Subject: RE: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot
	Oh my gawd. I loved this! When it comes to fanfiction, or just reading in general, I like stuff that is wierd. I love experimental fics, bizzare stories, and tales that seem to have just gone wrong somewhere. Honestly, I like 'wierd' stuff ten times more than just normal, happy sappy fics I guess that makes me wierd too Needless to say, when I saw this the first time I was intrigued, impressed, and a bit envious of how well you did it. I came back to read this again today, and couldn't take my eyes off it! I've read this a bunch of times now, and I still can't quite grasp the full meaning of it, still leaves me wondering. And that, IMHO, is so cool... cooler than any perfect masterpiece out there Awesome job furry! -----signature----- And if the answer is no / Can I change your mind? Bring on the drabbles: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/29099025/p1/?12
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
divapilot Registered: Nov '05	Date Posted: 6/23 8:43am Subject: RE: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot
	What I like about this fic is not just Wife's voice here -- annoyed, impatient, but still compassionate and kind -- but Luke's desperation. He has slid so deeply into the People that he literaly can't think straight. Time and thought no longer work. He can be anywhere on the timeline at once. And yet, the one constant that keeps him is his love for Mara. This is my favorite part: I pick up your shank bone and rub it to my face and I said: see, Maruh, he is here. She is not talking loud or being rude. She answers back in mindspeech very polite and I will see her big sadness. I lay you down with the rest of you and took your woman in my hands. I will say: he is here. I saw him inside your head the way he is in my head. You do not need to have been angry or lonely or rude when there are alive things outside around you and alive things inside you. The image of Wife calmly picking up Luke's bones and caressing them just as she would his living body is stunning. The other thing that I love is the way you flip through tenses. I lay you down with the rest of you and took your woman in my hands. I will say: he is here. Present tense to past tense to future tense and back to present. Brilliant! Your use of the language itself as a characterization is very clever. I think Wife was fond of Luke, in her strange way. Even to sharing him with Mara. -----signature----- Never tell me the odds. AKL "Beyond the Wall" http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28964433/p1/?6 The Society for Girls Who Like Things that Go Boom. (M. Corde, Pres.) "This is your badness level." ~ Lilo!
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Jade_eyes Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 6/24 2:52am Subject: RE: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot
	Sometimes weird is just an excuse for someone who can't write worth a lick... and sometimes it's thought provoking and mysterious and inscrutable and brilliant. Yours is definitely the latter. Your writing style is so instantly captivating. It's so awesome to have you back again... don't stay gone so long again!!! Note to ginchy: I haven't forgotten Measure either LOL SQUEE! -----signature----- Luke/Mara--without end forever ginchy, Irish =I Squggles before I read a word
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
VaderLVR64 Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 6/24 6:24am Subject: RE: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot
	This was odd, but oddly beautiful. It struck a cord inside me that was visceral. I liked it without even knowing precisely WHY I liked it. It's powerful and moving in a strange and lyrical way. Bravo on a beautiful piece of work! -----signature----- If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories. Proud New Army Mom - off to bootcamp!
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Jade_Pilot Registered: Dec '05	Date Posted: 6/24 11:08am Subject: RE: In a Strange Land - L/M AU - experimental oneshot
	furry!!! That was so cool and yes...I can certainly understand what Le Guin can do to your head! I like these risks you take, girl. Very creative! Bravo! -----signature----- I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner
	Post Reply \| Quote Reply \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History

Jedi Council Forums » Fan Fiction » Beyond the Saga »