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Author	Topic: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence
Kidan Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 6/27 6:19pm Subject: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence - Date Edited: 8/14 8:55pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Kidan
	For Evie Teetering Standing on the railing of the skybridge, teetering on the edge of oblivion, she remembered it all; the event, the consequences, and, most of all, the disappointment. Tahiri Veila had thought that it would be all right; that after his death she would be able to live again. That she would be able to love again. Yet, after so many years of pain, after missing him for half of her life, waiting for him to walk through the door one more time, she had given up. She had decided that it was enough. Enough of being a Jedi. Enough of being used by the Jedi. Enough of being a Sith. Enough of being used by the Sith. Enough of being used by the Solo's. Just enough. None of them had anything to offer her anymore. There was nothing left. She was empty. Bereft. Fate. Destiny. The Force. Whatever one wanted to call it, her entire existence so far had been meaningless. Everything and everyone that she had ever loved had ultimately been ripped from her. So, that was why she was here, standing out over the edge of the abyss in the middle of the night. No pedestrians, no passing motorists. Just her, the bridge and the wide open chasm beneath her toes. She edged closer to the abyss, and leaned forward slightly, watching the clouds as they passed through the emptiness beneath her. The pit called to her. It beckoned, promising release. Release from the pain. The suffering. She wanted nothing more to throw herself forward, and accept the pit's offering. Gathering the Force to her, she prepared to leap. And that's when it happened. That's when the world shifted again. It was soft, gentle, an almost whisper on the breeze. Yet she heard it clearly. "Tahiri..." Her name. His voice. She swallowed and lifted her head towards the sky. Looking upwards even though no stars were visible. Her eyes drifted close as a lone tear traced its way down her cheek. "You had better not be some trick or joke or something. You had better be Anakin." She heard him coming closer; heavy boots shifting the occasional bits of gravel which accumulated on the skybridges. "It's not a joke, 'Ri. I'm here." She knelt onto the railing as another tear raced down her face. "You were supposed to come back. You promised me you would." "I know. I'm here now." "Why did you take so long." He chuckled. It sounded like he was right behind her. Warm moist arm floated across her arm. With a start she realized that it was his breath. "I missed you, and I'm here, isn't that enough?" Tahiri clenched her teeth and lowered her head; pressing her chin tight against her chest. She didn't want to break down and cry. Not here. Not now. Not in front of him. "If I turn around will you still be there?" He chuckled again, and grabbed her arm, pulling her down. She let out a short yelp in surprise and then safety and warmth flooded back into her existence. For the first time in years, she felt whole and alive. He held her in his arms, not letting her feet touch the ground, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in the between her arm and his cheek. She allowed herself to be held and comforted as he whispered something into her hair. She didn't care what he was saying, just the fact that he was there to say it at all was enough. -----signature----- You sadistic Yank!! - McEwok No Krakana - http://nokrakana.wrighton.org Believe in the Constitution? Ron Paul '08
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Thrawn McEwok Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: May '00	Date Posted: 6/27 6:34pm Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence
	first -----signature----- A/T = OTP "To write one Solo twin as an angstbunny, Master Skywalker, might be considered unfortunate. To write BOTH that way looks like carelessness."
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DARTH_MU Registered: Feb '05	Date Posted: 6/27 6:35pm Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence - Date Edited: 6/27 6:35pm (1 edits total) Edited By: DARTH_MU
	steals first post from Evie. So there! evil laughter darn you Thrawn! and your little red eyes too! -----signature----- In Nelani's myriad futures he could dimly glimpse good and kind acts, love, perhaps family and children. Kidan's Apprentice EOV I: Despair (Link Lost) Gone, Gone, and never called me author! Lightsaber123's sock. Crewman aboard the goodship Beneha
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brodiew Registered: Oct '05	Date Posted: 6/27 11:20pm Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence - Date Edited: 6/30 11:04am (2 edits total) Edited By: brodiew
	Great work, Kidan. You set up her suicidal thoughts so well, I actually thought you might follow through with it. I also got the scary thought that she jumped and that Anakin's appearance was in the Force. Makes one think for sure... brodie -----signature----- Challenge me. I need the inspiration.
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EvieSolo Registered: Mar '05	Date Posted: 6/28 4:10am Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence
	This is how I imagine Tahiri must have felt. But you gave her a happy ending. It doesn't even matter if she jumped or not, IMO. As long as she's happy... Another way to deal with LotF. Full of possibilities! glares at the others (especially MU) for letting her have sloppy fourths -----signature----- "You need to stop playin' 'round with all them clowns and the wangstas good girls gotta get down with the gangstas." A/T = OTP
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Darthrevan4ever Registered: May '08	Date Posted: 6/28 11:17am Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence
	That was the ending that i wanted for the end of LOTF books -----signature----- Revan is the best Anakin solo will return
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Kidan Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 6/28 9:33pm Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence
	Thrawn McEwok first and here's your no-prize. DARTH_MU steals first post from Evie. So there! evil laughter darn you Thrawn! and your little red eyes too! and exactly WHAT does that have to do with the story? brodiew Great work, Kidan. You set up her suicidal thoughts so well, I actually thought you might follow through with it. whose to say that I didn't? I also got the scary thought that the jumped and that Anakin's appearance was in the Force. y'know, that's a perfectly valid interpretation of events.... Make one think for sure... thanks! No higher praise could be granted EvieSolo " " This is how I imagine Tahiri must have felt. But you gave her a happy ending. It doesn't even matter if she jumped or not, IMO. As long as she's happy... nods Aye, I gave her a happy ending. Another way to deal with LotF. Full of possibilities! </mutters>the best way, IMO glares at the others (especially MU) for letting her have sloppy fourths hey, you got the dedication Darthrevan4ever That was the ending that i wanted for the end of LOTF books you and me both! -----signature----- You sadistic Yank!! - McEwok No Krakana - http://nokrakana.wrighton.org Believe in the Constitution? Ron Paul '08
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Jedi-Ant Registered: Jan '07	Date Posted: 6/29 8:09pm Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence
	Wow, this was great!! You did a great job with Tahiri in this vig, very powerful. My favourite parts: Fate. Destiny. The Force. Whatever one wanted to call it, her entire existence so far had been meaningless. Everything and everyone that she had ever loved had ultimately been ripped from her. That is so true!! But wonderfully worded there, too. It was soft, gentle, an almost whisper on the breeze. Yet she heard it clearly. "Tahiri..." Her name. His voice. Ant melts She knelt onto the railing as another tear raced down her face. "You were supposed to come back. You promised me you would." That's right, he really did. Tahiri clenched her teeth and lowered her head; pressing her chin tight against her chest. She didn't want to break down and cry. Not here. Not now. Not in front of him. "If I turn around will you still be there?" Aww... Tahiri's voice is so perfect here -- her pain and desperation are just what I would expect at this point in time. She allowed herself to be held and comforted as he whispered something into her hair. She didn't care what he was saying, just the fact that he was there to say it at all was enough. w00t! I heartily agree!! What a lovely, lovely ending. Very nicely done, Kidan. I really enjoyed this one. Ant. -----signature----- Solar Eclipse - Twilight/SW X-Over: http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28626695/p1/?0 And it grew both day and night, Till it bore an apple bright, And my foe beheld it shine, And he knew that it was mine. - A Poison Tree, William Blake.
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Kidan Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 6/30 8:39am Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence
	Jedi-Ant Wow, this was great!! You did a great job with Tahiri in this vig, very powerful. Thanks! Glad it worked so well for you My favourite parts: Fate. Destiny. The Force. Whatever one wanted to call it, her entire existence so far had been meaningless. Everything and everyone that she had ever loved had ultimately been ripped from her. That is so true!! But wonderfully worded there, too. nods aye it is... and thanks! Ant melts chuckles That's right, he really did. it's why we have ff Aww... Tahiri's voice is so perfect here -- her pain and desperation are just what I would expect at this point in time. thanks! Glad taht desperate!Tahiri makes sense to you w00t! I heartily agree!! What a lovely, lovely ending. again, thanks! I for one, wanted to see a scene like this in Invincible Very nicely done, Kidan. I really enjoyed this one. great! Thanks for reading! -----signature----- You sadistic Yank!! - McEwok No Krakana - http://nokrakana.wrighton.org Believe in the Constitution? Ron Paul '08
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Thrawn McEwok Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: May '00	Date Posted: 7/2 9:01am Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence - Date Edited: 7/2 9:03am (1 edits total) Edited By: Thrawn McEwok
	Kidan posted: Thrawn McEwok first and here's your no-prize. grins proudly, and puts it on the mantlepiece Kidan posted: For Evie Kidan posted: Standing on the railing of the skybridge, teetering on the edge of oblivion, she remembered it all; the event, the consequences, and, most of all, the disappointment. Tahiri Veila had thought that it would be all right; that after his death she would be able to live again. That she would be able to love again. Yet, after so many years of pain, after missing him for half of her life, waiting for him to walk through the door one more time, she had given up. She had decided that it was enough. I like the way that you build up her state-of-mind through three different, contrasting perspectives here: you begin with what she's doing physically - a fairly unified view - and then shift to her hopes, developing a sense of her instinctive expectations, her sense of who she is... but then you offer a completely contrasting definition, a different part of her - a different Tahiri, even ("waiting for him to walk through the door one more time"). It's doing several things at once: very expressive of her disassembled mental state, and poignantly illustrative of the unhappy situation she's in, and also embracing her wider backstory, tying in with the sense of her fractured identity. The elegance of the structure also works into it, giving it an elegaic quality, a control and restraint... Which, of course, may say something about Tahiri, too. She's doing this very quietly. Kidan posted: Enough of being a Jedi. Enough of being used by the Jedi. Enough of being a Sith. Enough of being used by the Sith. Enough of being used by the Solo's. Just enough. None of them had anything to offer her anymore. Now this is a very neat piece of rhythm. The way you interrupt the pattern indicates the Anakin-void; had it continued, you'd have had her being a Solo... which, of course, is what she's not been able to become. blames LucasBooks/Del Rey Kidan posted: There was nothing left. She was empty. Bereft. Fate. Destiny. The Force. Whatever one wanted to call it, her entire existence so far had been meaningless. Everything and everyone that she had ever loved had ultimately been ripped from her. Again, this is nicely fractured thinking from Tahiri. She starts with terms that normally define meaning, then moves to suggest that what she experienced was actually "meaningless", and then moves on to claim that the meaning had, in fact, been violently taken away. Also, incidentally, she's avoiding Yuuzhan Vong perspectives. She's tired of pain, of accepting it? Kidan posted: So, that was why she was here, standing out over the edge of the abyss in the middle of the night. No pedestrians, no passing motorists. Just her, the bridge and the wide open chasm beneath her toes. More nice use of language here; it's very clear in its description, like night air; but "wide open chasm" is a nice inversion of upbeat like "wide open sky", both underlining how her world is upside down, and suggesting that the jump seems like the only hope for her, a sort of dark optimism, finality; and "beneath her toes" is just pure Tahiri. Kidan posted: She edged closer to the abyss, and leaned forward slightly, watching the clouds as they passed through the emptiness beneath her. The pit called to her. It beckoned, promising release. Release from the pain. The suffering. She wanted nothing more to throw herself forward, and accept the pit's offering. She's used to talking to the Anakin-shaped emptiness? But maybe it's lying to her...? I love the idea of the clouds below her - it gives a dramatic emphasis to the visual image (just how far she has to fall?), and it extends the "upside-down sky" image. Kidan posted: Gathering the Force to her, she prepared to leap. And that's when it happened. That's when the world shifted again. It was soft, gentle, an almost whisper on the breeze. Yet she heard it clearly. "Tahiri..." Kidan posted: Her name. His voice. A/T!! Kidan posted: She swallowed and lifted her head towards the sky. Looking upwards even though no stars were visible. Her eyes drifted close as a lone tear traced its way down her cheek. "You had better not be some trick or joke or something. You had better be Anakin." She heard him coming closer; heavy boots shifting the occasional bits of gravel which accumulated on the skybridges. "It's not a joke, 'Ri. I'm here." She knelt onto the railing as another tear raced down her face. "You were supposed to come back. You promised me you would." "I know. I'm here now." "Why did you take so long." He chuckled. It sounded like he was right behind her. I love this! it's the contrast between the back-and-forth dialogue and her down-and-backwards movement towards him. Two observations: the hesitation in her POV of him (and perhaps her movements) - it sounded like he was right behind her; and the way she instinctively falls into conversation with him, without the slightest hesitation. The pain of the way she looked up at the sky was also very effective; accepting the pain - in that single, star-like tear - is also a sign of release. She doesn't have to be controlled any more. Also: Looking upwards even though no stars were visible. It leads neatly into the tear (a single star, a motif appropriate for Anakin), as I just indicated; but it also suggests a hint or memory of something else - of something, I suspect, only Anakin would understand, something she shared/experienced with him. Kidan posted: Warm moist arm floated across her arm. With a start she realized that it was his breath. "I missed you, and I'm here, isn't that enough?" Tahiri clenched her teeth and lowered her head; pressing her chin tight against her chest. She didn't want to break down and cry. Not here. Not now. Not in front of him. laughs Regret, and hurt, but even their broken edges match up. A part of her almost doesn't want to admit that this is real--she's become USED to the pain, to absence!Anakin. A part of her is probably still sure that she's dead. Now, let's take a look at the hinge of the 'fic here: did she jump, or didn't she? I'd say not - we'd expect her to fall before phasing out of reality, unless she hit something sharp and spiky very fast - but it DOES work fine either way: and with that in mind, we have this neat paradox. If she did fall, then Anakin WAS waiting for her in the void, and it was telling the truth; if she DIDN'T, then it was a lie/madness, and he saved her from it. Either way, whichever way she turns, he rescues her. Kidan posted: "If I turn around will you still be there?" He chuckled again, and grabbed her arm, pulling her down. She let out a short yelp in surprise and then safety and warmth flooded back into her existence. Perfect. Or was this when she hit the ground, and the rest was all Force-vision AS she fell? Kidan posted: For the first time in years, she felt whole and alive. He held her in his arms, not letting her feet touch the ground, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in the between her arm and his cheek. She allowed herself to be held and comforted as he whispered something into her hair. She didn't care what he was saying, just the fact that he was there to say it at all was enough. Ahh. A perfect ending. A/T. contented sigh/smile I particularly love the way that he's "not letting her feet touch the ground". Lifting her up, a perfect counterpoint to the "falling" imagery we saw before - and also a nice image of her feet, again. It also leads on perfectly into the way she responds with her arms, and the mor ceomplex - but no less flawless interaction of their bodies pressed together, and then moves from that physical perfection, into words and finally, to the purer realm of feelings. In that last little paragraph, I'm reminded of the philosophical theory of emanations - levels of reality, with matter being the least, abstract forms - represented by language - somewhere in the middle, and pure being, "Oneness", as the most elevated and perfect. Or, in what I think is a more appropriate version of the metaphor, there are levels of the journey in Dante's Divina Commedia, ascending from the pit, up and outwards to love and the stars. - The Imperial Ewok -----signature----- A/T = OTP "To write one Solo twin as an angstbunny, Master Skywalker, might be considered unfortunate. To write BOTH that way looks like carelessness."
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Kidan Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 7/2 9:49pm Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence
	Thrawn McEwok \:D/ grins proudly, and puts it on the mantlepiece snorts ":D" I like the way that you build up her state-of-mind through three different, contrasting perspectives here: you begin with what she's doing physically - a fairly unified view - and then shift to her hopes, developing a sense of her instinctive expectations, her sense of who she is... but then you offer a completely contrasting definition, a different part of her - a different Tahiri, even ("waiting for him to walk through the door one more time"). I'm ecstatic that that first paragraph worked so well. But yeah, she's definitely a collection of different peices.... It's doing several things at once: very expressive of her disassembled mental state, and poignantly illustrative of the unhappy situation she's in, and also embracing her wider backstory, tying in with the sense of her fractured identity. [face_blinks] I know I've stated this in the past, but things like this are why I love your replies. You explain what I've written just so great.... The elegance of the structure also works into it, giving it an elegaic quality, a control and restraint... nods it does, doesn't it... Which, of course, may say something about Tahiri, too. She's doing this very quietly. heh she doesn't feel like talking? Now this is a very neat piece of rhythm. The way you interrupt the pattern indicates the Anakin-void; had it continued, you'd have had her being a Solo... which, of course, is what she's not been able to become. blames LucasBooks/Del Rey I'm glad that you caught that. and I blame LucasBooks & DR as well.... Again, this is nicely fractured thinking from Tahiri. She starts with terms that normally define meaning, then moves to suggest that what she experienced was actually "meaningless", and then moves on to claim that the meaning had, in fact, been violently taken away. Well, Tahiri is fractured here....she lacks the meaning that those terms give others.... (again, thanks DR!) Also, incidentally, she's avoiding Yuuzhan Vong perspectives. She's tired of pain, of accepting it? reasonable interpretation.... More nice use of language here; it's very clear in its description, like night air; but "wide open chasm" is a nice inversion of upbeat like "wide open sky", both underlining how her world is upside down, and suggesting that the jump seems like the only hope for her, a sort of dark optimism, finality; and "beneath her toes" is just pure Tahiri. again, I'm ecstatic that that symbolism was picked up on as well. the whole inversion of the open sky She's used to talking to the Anakin-shaped emptiness? aye, she is.... But maybe it's lying to her...? maybe... I love the idea of the clouds below her - it gives a dramatic emphasis to the visual image (just how far she has to fall?), and it extends the "upside-down sky" image. I liked it as well ":O" B-) A/T!! aye... A/T! I love this! it's the contrast between the back-and-forth dialogue and her down-and-backwards movement towards him. and that's a good point Two observations: the hesitation in her POV of him (and perhaps her movements) - it sounded like he was right behind her; and the way she instinctively falls into conversation with him, without the slightest hesitation. well, he is Anakin.... The pain of the way she looked up at the sky was also very effective; accepting the pain - in that single, star-like tear - is also a sign of release. She doesn't have to be controlled any more. exactly! With him, she doesn't have to try so hard.... Also: Looking upwards even though no stars were visible. It leads neatly into the tear (a single star, a motif appropriate for Anakin), as I just indicated; but it also suggests a hint or memory of something else - of something, I suspect, only Anakin would understand, something she shared/experienced with him. and this whole bit skipped past me while I was writing... laughs Regret, and hurt, but even their broken edges match up. A part of her almost doesn't want to admit that this is real--she's become USED to the pain, to absence!Anakin. A part of her is probably still sure that she's dead. isn't that matching up perfectly what's always symbolized A/T? And aye, she probably think she's dead... Now, let's take a look at the hinge of the 'fic here: did she jump, or didn't she? I'd say not - we'd expect her to fall before phasing out of reality, unless she hit something sharp and spiky very fast - but it DOES work fine either way: and with that in mind, we have this neat paradox. And that is the ultimate question left up to the reader to determine... If she did fall, then Anakin WAS waiting for her in the void, and it was telling the truth; if she DIDN'T, then it was a lie/madness, and he saved her from it. Either way, whichever way she turns, he rescues her. exactly!! And again, that's just what Anakin does.... :^O Perfect. thanks! Or was this when she hit the ground, and the rest was all Force-vision AS she fell? and that's possible as well... again, it's up to the reader to determine if she jumped or not... Ahh. A perfect ending. A/T. contented sigh/smile it's an A/T ending, so that kind of implies it being perfect... I particularly love the way that he's "not letting her feet touch the ground". Lifting her up, a perfect counterpoint to the "falling" imagery we saw before - and also a nice image of her feet, again. It also leads on perfectly into the way she responds with her arms, and the mor ceomplex - but no less flawless interaction of their bodies pressed together, and then moves from that physical perfection, into words and finally, to the purer realm of feelings. well, didn't he always lift her up? That was part of the point. He's always been a lifting presence for her, the same way that she was for him. In that last little paragraph, I'm reminded of the philosophical theory of emanations - levels of reality, with matter being the least, abstract forms - represented by language - somewhere in the middle, and pure being, "Oneness", as the most elevated and perfect. Or, in what I think is a more appropriate version of the metaphor, there are levels of the journey in Dante's Divina Commedia, ascending from the pit, up and outwards to love and the stars. [face_blink] and that's a great discussion on what's going on in that last paragraph as well. "B-) " thanks for reading! -----signature----- You sadistic Yank!! - McEwok No Krakana - http://nokrakana.wrighton.org Believe in the Constitution? Ron Paul '08
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THE_EVIL_CLIFFIE Registered: Jul '08	Date Posted: 7/12 6:57am Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence
	Wonderful!!! and just that bit sad -----signature----- They can tak' oor lives but they cannae ta' oor trousers! - unidentified member of the Nac Mac Feegle biggest lurker ever! On a campaign for more faces.
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Kidan Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 7/22 12:40pm Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence
	THE_EVIL_CLIFFIE Wonderful!!! and just that bit sad Thanks! And aye... -----signature----- You sadistic Yank!! - McEwok No Krakana - http://nokrakana.wrighton.org Believe in the Constitution? Ron Paul '08
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SilSolo Registered: Mar '04	Date Posted: 7/22 1:38pm Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence
	woohoo Anakin is back! -----signature----- http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27517284/p1/?11 Like this quick sketch: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/32848083/ ? Then commission me. Prices are negotiable.
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Kidan Title: TFN EU Staff Registered: Jul '03	Date Posted: 7/26 11:56pm Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence
	SilSolo woohoo Anakin is back! or did Tahiri jump? of course it's up to the reader to answer that question so -----signature----- You sadistic Yank!! - McEwok No Krakana - http://nokrakana.wrighton.org Believe in the Constitution? Ron Paul '08
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pregnantpadme Registered: Oct '04	Date Posted: 7/27 11:21am Subject: RE: Teetering - POST LotF - A/T One shot -- 1st Sentence
	Hah! I was feeling so very cynical...assuming that the reason Tahiri could 'hear' and 'feel' Anakin was because she had in fact jumped, and I was going to just crawl bak into my little hole and continue with the lurkiness, not wanting to spread my particular brand of 'joy', but then I saw that other people had said the same thing. Not that I've got that out of my system...oh, yeah, that's why I didn't finish reading reading LotF, aside from the fact that they killed Mara (those bastards) they turned Tahiri into a crack-whore as you so eloquently put it. Incidently, I think I used the exact same term when discussing this with Qwi_Xux when it started. So, thank you for bringing a little bit of a recognizable Tahiri back into the world. How sad is that? That a suicidal Tahiri seems closer to character than what Pro-fic actually gave us? Rambling PregMe -----signature----- "What happens if you need a diplomat who can also practice philosophy, fight with a lightsaber, and levitate small objects? Who else are you going to call but us?" Mara Jade Skywalker, Destiny's Way
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