Now, I realize that this is not a STAR WARS related post. I also know that by posting this I'm running the risk of offending some people. I also know I'm running the risk of others comparing me to another perhaps former HA member who shall remain nameless but was disliked for, among other reasons, their penchant for correcting other people's grammar. But...I just don't care. I'm so sick and tired of seeing the misuse of the apostrophe that I feel absolutely compelled to post this.
No one should feel "singled out" by me...no one should feel I'm trying to ass myself off as an intellectual or as being "holier-than-thou". Believe me...I make just as many mistakes as the next guy. It's just that this mistake seems to be a growing, almost all-encompassing one...and, quite frankly, I'm tired of it. Now, having said that...here's my latest BLOG post from my MySpace and personal website pages;
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Is it just me or is the entire country getting dumber by the day? Or perhaps they're getting dumber by the minute...I don't know. All I know is; every time I turn around, someone else is misusing what is, in my opinion, one of the easiest punctuation marks of all to use;
I'm talking about the hallowed APOSTROPHE.
I used to think it was just a few people I knew who made this now common...or a better word would be RAMPANT error. But, it seems that this calamitous, catastrophic, egregious error is overwhelming our country. Now, I find it not just in personal communications directed to me...but, also in national ads for such companies as Best Buy, Target, and others. It seems that everywhere I look, someone somewhere is using the apostrophe to pluralize a noun. Need an example? Here's one; at the AMC Theater the other night there was a sign that read, "THE SIMPSON'S MOVIE MIDNIGHT SHOW, THEATER 8".
Now...that might seem OK to some of you. But, as far as I remember, it's NOT! I understand that because the word "Simpsons" ends in an "s"...it might confuse some. Perhaps they thought that because the film "belonged" to the Simpsons they needed to add an apostrophe. But...even in that case, the apostrophe would be put AFTER the "s"!
But, this doesn't even explain the most common misuse of the apostrophe; the one I see every day nowadays. The one that makes absolutely no sense at all to me...the one that makes me want to just start screaming the apostrophe rules at the top of my lungs on the corner of Sunset and Vine;
"These picture's are really nice!"
There is absolutely NO NEED for an apostrophe to be used in order to pluralize the word "picture"! Nor is there a need to use one in order to pluralize most common nouns!
There are only a few possible scenarios for the reason behind this seemingly contagious grammatical error;
a) People in America are just plain getting dumber
b) I'm making the mistake and have been wrong about the proper usage of the apostrophe all along
c) The education system has once again let us all down
d) The education system has once again altered the "rules" and made the new "usages" acceptable because...hey, it's easier to just change the rules than it is to actually teach someone the proper rules
e) Since most people are like sheep (insecure, scared, and uneducated)...they see others making this now common mistake. And, since they can't remember their education to begin with and are too afraid to be different, they just end up doing it too and pretty soon, EVERYBODY'S doing it. Kind of like listening to Britney Spears...you know it's wrong, you know you shouldn't be doing it, and you know it's damn offensive. But, how can 5 million people be wrong, right?
People, people, people...it's time to stop the madness of apostrophe misusage. Using the wonderful apostrophe in its original, intended manner and purpose is really such an easy thing to do. Let's right this ship before it capsizes, shall we?
I hear some of you saying, "Lito...I want to properly use the apostrophe. But, I can't remember as far back as yesterday...how am I supposed to remember back to grammar school...to elementary school...to the days when hopefully I was taught how to 'do the right thing'? How can I use the apostrophe correctly?"
Well, I'm glad you asked. Here is a link to a helpful website that can help everyone get back on track;
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_apost.html
And, if you just don't have time to look up this website...which I'm sure some of you won't (or perhaps you simply don't want to bother), here are the basic rules;
The apostrophe has three uses:
1) to form possessives of nouns
2) to show the omission of letters
3) to indicate certain plurals of lowercase letters.
Apostrophes are NOT used for possessive pronouns or for noun plurals, including acronyms.
So, in conclusion...let's not let this extremely contagious, disturbingly offensive, and overwhelmingly foolish disease completely consume our population and turn us all into Gomer Pyles. Rather, let's all be Barney Fifes and "nip it in the bud"! Let's hoist ourselves up by the belt, do some thinking (for a change), and stop misusing the apostrophe. I mean, come on, people...the apostrophe has feelings too. Do you think it enjoys being misused? Thank you for your time.
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INDIANA JONES and the KINGDOM of the CRYSTAL SKULL...
...Now in Theaters Everywhere!
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