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Topic:
The Church of Kyle
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Evil_King_Wiggins
Registered:
Aug '03
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 4:23pm
Subject:
The Church of Kyle
- Date Edited:
4/1 4:21pm (2 edits total)
Edited By:
GrandAdmiralJello
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Come and join the Prophets of Katarn as they follow the "Way of the Beard, and rain Death and Distruction on the followers of "The Shaven Kyle" a cult of Imperial loyalists seeking salvation from "The True Kyle".
Welcome to "The Church of Kyle", home of the Prophets of Katarn. I am the Oracle of the Beard, Protector of the Church of Kyle, and Grand Master of The Bearding Way.
This chapter is accepting as many new members as will come, though all will eventually join us, or die. 
The Prophets of Katarn -
High Prophet: Ulicus
High Prophet: Kenobi_Kid
The Prophet of Doom: Ganner_The_Hero
The Prophet of Death: Havac
The Prophet of Destruction: Barriss_Coffee
The Prophet of Vengence: CernStromrunner
High Arbiter of Kyle: Wielder of the 'Saber with the Katarnian Crystal -
SephyCloneNo15
High Oracle of the Beard: Servent of the Living Kyle, Grand Master of the Bearding Way -
Evil_King_Wiggins
Followers of the Beard -
Randy1012
Sinrebirth
While you're here, you may want to learn about Kyle Katarn. It is strongly advised that you do.
Theories of Kyle's Birth -
The most prevalent speculation is that Kyle Katarn was never actually “born”. He was, instead, from “his mother’s womb, untimely blast’d out of”, Bryar pistol in hand and fully grown. I'm not sure how that works, but I doubt mere mortals such as us are meant to.
Here are some of the fragments:
KATARN
Despair thy charm; (5.8.13)
And let the angel whom thou still hast served
Tell thee, Katarn was from his mother's womb
Untimely blast'd out of. (5.8.16)
- From Bill Shakesabre
“In the beginning, there was the Beard, and the Beard was with George and the Beard was George. It was in the beginning with George. All things came into being through it, and without it not one thing came into being. What has come into being in it is the ultimate being, and the ultimate being is Kyle Katarn.” – From The Bryar Pistol according to Jon Antilles
"Kyle Katarn is the being of legend, greater than distance or time. No need to note where He is or whence He came, only to know that... He is Kyle Katarn." – Anonymous
It's been rumored that Kyle was born into an Amish community, but became bored with it quickly. At age five, he slaughtered the entire community, and left with his father.
There's also speculation that Kyle was the "last son" of an ancient alien race, where he was originally known as "Kye-El", and jettisoned from the planet once they realised that the sheer awesomness of being Katarn's birthplace was going to tear them asunder...
Alright, let's get this started! 
Evil.
-----signature-----
» My icons ( http://evilkingwiggins.proboards19.com/index.cgi?board=general ) » "Dude, you're pumping yourself full of way too much liquid self-pity. Try the tablets. They taste better." » "Your female Chiss icon makes my peepee tingle" - Jon_Goodfellow
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Sinrebirth
Registered:
Nov '04
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 4:29pm
Subject:
The Wes Janson Fan Club
- Date Edited:
3/30 11:22pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
GrandAdmiralJello
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*bows to the greatness that is, was, and forever will be, Kyle Katarn*
First post!!!
-----signature-----
Sey's Sinre  The First Canon Apologist The Missing Chapters of LotF: Invincible http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28933751&brd=10477&replies=10 Chapter 4.5 is up! Now Featuring: Niathal, Daala, Syal, Wedge, Winter & Tycho!
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Darth_wanderguard
Registered:
Apr '05
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 4:34pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
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I'll be a frequent yet infrequent poster I suppose. I've always liked Kyle Katarn.
-----signature-----
MILK ME!  I'm having a Syd Barrett moment 
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s65horsey
Title: EUC Manager
SWC Lil' Sis
Registered:
Jun '06
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 4:35pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
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YAY!!! SOMEONE ELSE TO WORSHIP!
to the beard
-----signature-----
Sinre's Sey 
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MASTERPRENN
Title: JCC Man.
Awesome
Registered:
Dec '05
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 4:35pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
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I am totally in. Totally.
Dig.
-----signature-----
"When you see me, what do you see?
I see a big bushy beard and hair."
- Stephen Colbert discussing his inabilit to "see" race, with Cornel West
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Randy1012
Registered:
Jan '07
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 4:39pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
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It's quite exciting to be part of this from the very beginning.
Gonna have to do something about being just a Follower of the Beard, though. I want a fancy title too! 
-----signature-----
What can I say? I'm a talented individual.
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Evil_King_Wiggins
Registered:
Aug '03
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 4:50pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
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Ah, new converts... er..I mean... Welcome to The Church of Kyle. 
Evil.
-----signature-----
» My icons ( http://evilkingwiggins.proboards19.com/index.cgi?board=general ) » "Dude, you're pumping yourself full of way too much liquid self-pity. Try the tablets. They taste better." » "Your female Chiss icon makes my peepee tingle" - Jon_Goodfellow
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Havac
Title: Lit Mod of War
Registered:
Sep '05
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 5:35pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
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Ahh, Katarn. How I love you so.
-----signature-----
"Have you not yet learned, Executor, that everything I tell you is the truth?" - Vergere
Recipient of Thrawn McEwok's Sexually Ambiguous Tusken Raider™ and a Special Golden Ewok™
"Reality doesn't care if you believe it." - Boba Fett
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CernStormrunner
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 6:24pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
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Who would win in a fight between Marka Ragnos, Darth Nihilus, and Palpatine Versus Kyle?
To make it interesting, Kyle has been shrunk to half his normal size. Except for The Beard, it retains it's normal size, bushyness, and luster.
-----signature-----
"Doing the right thing isn't something special. It's the minimum.
It's where we start each morning, not where we try to end up one day in the future."
*
I don't want my kids growing up in a world
where Greedo shoots first.
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Nemuro
Registered:
May '03
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 7:06pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
- Date Edited:
3/19/07 7:08pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Nemuro
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I wonder how much of a conflict would be in worshiping both Katarn and Waru... after all, Kyle was blatantly opposing Waru's designs in Jedi Outcast.
But then again... who doesn't love a man who force-chokes his way in the universe...
-----signature-----
Everything changes, but nothing is truly lost. I don't mind, you don't mind... cause I don't shine if you don't shine. ... Grand Inquisitor of the Church of Waru
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CallistaRieekan
Registered:
Dec '00
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 7:17pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
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Kyle is win. *bows to his awesomeness*
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ARC-77
Registered:
Mar '06
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 8:00pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
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Well, I have to join. You see, I share the same first name as the Bearded One, and if I don't show my fealty to Him, I'm sure I'll wake up dead one day soon.
But I'd join anyways.
Oh, and Stormrunner. Nihilus can consume planets. Kyle can consume Nihilus. 
-----signature-----
Arvel Crynyd didn't crash into the bridge of the Executor. Kyle threw his A-Wing at it. -CernStormrunner Antilles/Celchu '08  Summon bigger fish.
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CernStormrunner
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 8:26pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
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ARC-77 posted:
Nihilus can consume planets. Kyle can consume Nihilus.
With or without ranch dressing!
-----signature-----
"Doing the right thing isn't something special. It's the minimum.
It's where we start each morning, not where we try to end up one day in the future."
*
I don't want my kids growing up in a world
where Greedo shoots first.
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GeithJiseo2
Registered:
Jan '04
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 8:30pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
- Date Edited:
3/19/07 8:32pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
GeithJiseo2
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Kyle Katarn is by far my favorite EU character. In fact, he may be my favorite Star Wars character PERIOD. I became a fan of his when I first played Jedi Outcast. Awesome game!
What EU books has Kyle appeared in? Does anyone know?
-----signature-----
"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! AGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!! HOW COULD YOU?!?!?!?!?! AGGGHHH!!!!"
--ashsecho's (a.k.a. Darth Slowest Writer in the World) reaction after having read the ending of Falls the Shadow: Book One
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SWBob
Registered:
Jun '03
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Date Posted:
3/19/07 11:27pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
- Date Edited:
3/19/07 11:32pm (2 edits total)
Edited By:
SWBob
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I now have two things to worship.
Praise Kyle. 1/2 of a
-----signature-----
"There will be pages. Lots and lots of pages. Most of them will have letters on them,
and a vast majority of those letters will be in the Roman alphabet"
-Aaron Allston
Minister of Internal Affairs and CoW Senator
Sith Governer of the NJO Fan Club
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GrandAdmiralJello
Title:
Emperor
• EUC
• JCC
Registered:
Nov '00
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Date Posted:
3/20/07 2:45am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Kyle
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I am not amused.
-----signature-----
Roma Æterna|SPQR  Imperium Sine Fine "Moribus antiquis res stat Romana virisque" -Ennius, Annales "Tu regere imperio populos, Romanæ, memento;hæ tibi erunt artes; pascisque imponere morem, parcere subjectis et debellare superbos" -Virgil, Aeneid
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