| Author |
Topic:
The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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GrandAdmiralJello
Title:
Emperor
• EUC
• JCC
Registered:
Nov '00
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 12:58am
Subject:
The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
- Date Edited:
4/1 4:16pm (4 edits total)
Edited By:
s65horsey
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Greetings and salutations, fellow mortals. It is I, Jello, also known as the Waru of Waru.
A few days ago, in this thread, a revelation was made that revealed the glorious light of Waru to our pitiful minds.
Waru has invoked his awesome powers of the anti-Force to create two prophets, jawajames and Halagad_Ventor--as well as myself, GrandAdmiralJello, the Waru of Waru--his mortal representative on Earth.
I inform you that for a mere one thousand credits, you can become a Blessed Son/Daughter of the great Waru and earn your own Slab of Waru™ for your religious and devotional purposes.
Join now, and let us spread the light and glory that is Waru all over the galaxy!
This, indeed, is Waru's Second Coming--observe the words of the Prophet of Waru, jawajames:
Welcome to the Second Coming of the Golden Glob of Light and Peace, Waru.
In the beginning, there was Waru. And Waru proclaimed a vision of joy and love and peace. People came to Waru to share in this vision, and began to bring Waru's mission to the masses. These followers of Waru became known as the Church of Waru, and there were many holy people among them. Each of them was given a role to play in Waru's ministry, and were granted talents of leadership, prophecy, artistic direction, agricultural expertise, music, knowledge, piety, vigilance, hairdressing, praise coordination, record keeping, psychological analysis, and ironing. Waru rejoiced with his faithful in the Church of Waru and proclaimed that every Fruday would be a feast in celebration of these talents, and of Waru's love and peace.
And the faithful grew in number. New faces were welcomed, and all came to know Waru's love and sing Waru's praises. The Church membership embarked on a mission to construct a Waru-Dome, an entire city full of the bounties of Waru: praise and worship space, meditation chambers, waterslides, suites and dormitories, concert halls, miniature golf courses, gardens, libraries, and so much more. Many members used their talents to build this magnificent city, and lived in peace and contentment, and spread the word of Waru's love and peace.
When the praises of Waru reached ten-thousandfold, Waru appeared in a new form, full of majesty and glory. And thus we have moved here on this night for Waru's second coming. This Fruday eve shall stand on the calendar and be remembered.
Waru told me this in a vision, and his visions are true.
I call upon our faithful brothers and sisters to visit this new church, and share their testimony and praise on this Fruday.
*Waru comes out with a big pair of golden scissors and cuts a golden ribbon marking the new thread officially open*
Praise Waru!
I call upon Sinrebirth to post our sacred scripture: The Tao of Waru.
Roster:
GrandAdmiralJello - Waru of Waru
jawajames - High Prophet #1 of Waru
Halagad_Ventor - High Prophet #2 of Waru
rogue_wookiee - Herald of Waru (and keeper of Waru merchandise)
Ackbar_van_gungan - *the* Sacred Slab of Waru™
EmperorSorridom - Royal Receptacle
SWBob - Senator and Praise Man of Waru
Nemuro - Grand Inquisitor of Waru
s65horsey - Agriculture Expert of Waru
Sinrebirth - Shrink of Waru and Keeper of the Tao
Jedi-Killer_17; Organist and Music Director
Fire_Light; Blessed Bouncer of Waru
Zedd-Vega; Bounty Hunter of Waru
lexu; Waru's Mistress and Concubine
AdmiralZaarin ; Follower of Waru
DaJames; Bartender of Waru
darth_Boba; Muralist and Artist and uh architect
Imperial_Hammer; Usher and Secretary
JediCallista_1_6_e54; Cleaner of Waru
jedi_of_ennth; Fashion Designer of the Church of Waru
Blue_Ice-Green_Fire; Dietitian of Waru
RK_Striker_JK_5; Guard of the Royal Waru Door
Evil_King_Wiggins; waterboy of Waru
T65BRay; stands on a street corner with a sandwich board that reads "Ask me about the health benefits with the Church of Waru". Quasi-Masseur of Waru's Meta-Bowels
Dark_Assassin; Follower of Waru
Master_Jacen; Official Keeper of Waru’s Pamphlets
OcarinaJedi; Follower of Waru
Jedi solo_2; Member of the Church of Waru
Jaina Byrd; Church of Waru’s Deaconess
Kwenn; Follower of Waru
Jaya02; Official Critical Academic Theologian of the Church of Waru
CeiranHarmony; Waru's Private Investigator, Codename "Shadow of Waru"
Agent_Jaster; Sacred Enforcer of Aquatic Safety
Clone-Commando_1198A, Gatekeeper of Waru
Mandalorian_Jedi – Messenger of the Great Golden Blob
Durnar – Dead Jedi of Waru
WEBJA – Guardian of Waru and the Church of Waru
ClonedEmperor – Clonemaster of Waru
Stormtrooper_TK-421 - Minister of the Wayward Faithful in the Church of Waru
Thrawn1786 - the Tranquil Patience of Waru
Morgoth_the_Enemy - Master of the fates of Arda
JacenKatarnC3PX - Member of the Church
LSFEagle – Disciple of Waru
Starkeiller – Procurator of Injustice
3 – 8 – Wizard of Waru the Magnificent
Pelly-Welly – Crazy Chiss of Waru
Bootleg Vader – Follower of Waru
Mslanna – Torturer and Gift-Wrapper of Waru
Booster_Gold - First Child of Waru
VIII – Lord of Numbers
Winged_Jedi – Guru of Waru
Nelia_Nuruodo - Waruite
JawasPoodoo – Waruite
PrincessCambria - Waruite
(active members may be granted a color combination upon request)
For history's sake, here is the original Church of Waru.
-----signature-----
Roma Æterna|SPQR  Imperium Sine Fine "Moribus antiquis res stat Romana virisque" -Ennius, Annales "Tu regere imperio populos, Romanæ, memento;hæ tibi erunt artes; pascisque imponere morem, parcere subjectis et debellare superbos" -Virgil, Aeneid
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Evil_King_Wiggins
Registered:
Aug '03
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 1:28am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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Ah, a new thread. I shall try to stay around this time, life shall not call me away... I hope.
Evil.
-----signature-----
» My icons ( http://evilkingwiggins.proboards19.com/index.cgi?board=general ) » "Dude, you're pumping yourself full of way too much liquid self-pity. Try the tablets. They taste better." » "Your female Chiss icon makes my peepee tingle" - Jon_Goodfellow
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Sinrebirth
Registered:
Nov '04
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 6:10am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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Second post! Praise be to Waru on this wonderful day, for he let me live until I turned 20! 
I thank you, My Lord!
-----signature-----
Sey's Sinre  The First Canon Apologist The Missing Chapters of LotF: Invincible http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28933751&brd=10477&replies=10 Chapter 4.5 is up! Now Featuring: Niathal, Daala, Syal, Wedge, Winter & Tycho!
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s65horsey
Title: EUC Manager
SWC Lil' Sis
Registered:
Jun '06
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 7:51am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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Praise Waru!!!!
*brings in crops form the field and places them at Waru's alter*
With your permission, Waru, I'd like to use these crops to prepare a spectacular feast for Fruday this week.
-----signature-----
Sinre's Sey 
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RK_Striker_JK_5
Registered:
Jul '03
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 8:00am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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I'm gonna try and stick around this time. No DRL and losing track this time!
*Stands by door, weapons at the ready*
-----signature-----
E-married to the wonderful DarthIshtar. Now also her Padawan. Member of the Y.J.K. Revolution Staring into the Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27537567/p1/?23
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Mr44
Registered:
May '02
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 8:03am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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Plenty of time before Waru Day, so keep those weapons loaded...
-----signature-----
Don’t confuse enthusiasm with capability.
..............................................................
Peter Shoomaker
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RK_Striker_JK_5
Registered:
Jul '03
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 8:08am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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*Salutes Mr44* Sure thing!  *Holds up rifle*
-----signature-----
E-married to the wonderful DarthIshtar. Now also her Padawan. Member of the Y.J.K. Revolution Staring into the Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/27537567/p1/?23
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JEDI_TEEGIRLOO
Registered:
May '05
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 8:16am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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Ooh that sweet thread smell. Very nice indeed.
Oh im not listed as a member boo hoo. 
Was it the pillow fights? 
Oh blessed Waru why why why.
I bring gifts for Waru,
a three leged ewok who's deformities have well not allowed it to rise up in the ewok ranks.
and a lost blind hoojib who lost their way. 
-----signature-----
~Darth Mystique~Dark Lady of the Sith~/Matriarch of the Witches of Dathomir
"The Darkside is like a drug that i just cant get enough of."
~Mesh'la Par'jila ~ Prudii Verd - "Oya Manda! "
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Mr44
Registered:
May '02
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 8:21am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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Ooh that sweet thread smell. Very nice indeed.
The sweet smell is from all the cakes that are hoarded in Waru's Temple. On second thought, after a while, they're not that sweet...
-----signature-----
Don’t confuse enthusiasm with capability.
..............................................................
Peter Shoomaker
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Trimaj
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 8:33am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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*looks over the list* you missed two people, so far. i'd be number two.
*shrugs* guess i'll just have to reapply, or something...
*considers a new title, as i can't remember the old one*
:snoopy
-----signature-----
I'm just a figment of your imagination.
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JEDI_TEEGIRLOO
Registered:
May '05
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 8:46am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
- Date Edited:
6/18/07 10:05am (2 edits total)
Edited By:
JEDI_TEEGIRLOO
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*thinks of title for herself*
How about the muse of Waru
You know 44 you're right the cakes are not sweet. Infact the baker should be fired.
-----signature-----
~Darth Mystique~Dark Lady of the Sith~/Matriarch of the Witches of Dathomir
"The Darkside is like a drug that i just cant get enough of."
~Mesh'la Par'jila ~ Prudii Verd - "Oya Manda! "
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SWBob
Registered:
Jun '03
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 9:44am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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Oh Holy Waru!
You have blessed us with the new thread smell,(least I hope that's what it is). You are truly great!
Did we move to a new facility, meaning new rooms?
-----signature-----
"There will be pages. Lots and lots of pages. Most of them will have letters on them,
and a vast majority of those letters will be in the Roman alphabet"
-Aaron Allston
Minister of Internal Affairs and CoW Senator
Sith Governer of the NJO Fan Club
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EmperorSorridom
Registered:
Apr '05
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 10:02am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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Sinrebirth - Shrink of Waru and Keeper of the Tao
Only two of your numerous, lofty titles? I must say, Sinre; I'm impressed by this tremendous and uncharacteristic display of modesty. 
and a lost blind hoojib who lost their way.
Prior forgiveness rescinded, TEE.
*looks over the list* you missed two people, so far. i'd be number two.
*shrugs* guess i'll just have to reapply, or something...
*considers a new title, as i can't remember the old one*
Blame it on Sinre.
I don't recall exactly, but didn't your old title have something to do with zombie biker-chickens? Or something?
-----signature-----
Sorridom, a.k.a. Darth Pimpous: Emperor of the Galaxy
EUS: Minister of Intel | ImpCourt: Senator
Sith Hierarchy: Director of Intel | CoW: Sith Governor
Ad maiorem Imperii gloriam.
"The Empire will always strike back." --Gilad Pellaeon
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JEDI_TEEGIRLOO
Registered:
May '05
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 10:08am
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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EmperorSorridom posted:
and a lost blind hoojib who lost their way.
Prior forgiveness rescinded, TEE.
Hey it needs to be put out of its misery. Waru will take care of it.
-----signature-----
~Darth Mystique~Dark Lady of the Sith~/Matriarch of the Witches of Dathomir
"The Darkside is like a drug that i just cant get enough of."
~Mesh'la Par'jila ~ Prudii Verd - "Oya Manda! "
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rogue_wookiee
Registered:
Apr '04
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 3:36pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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*sets up pillow minigun in doorway, smiles like a wolf sneaking up on a herd of unsuspecting sheep and opens fire*
-----signature-----
“You’re probably the biggest taxer in the country, even bigger than the Congress,” - Ron Paul on the Federal Reserve. Be aware of inflation and how it affects our daily life. http://mises.org/story/2914 -What You Should Know About Inflation
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s65horsey
Title: EUC Manager
SWC Lil' Sis
Registered:
Jun '06
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Date Posted:
6/18/07 3:42pm
Subject:
RE: The Church of Waru: Waru's Second Coming
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*moves hers and Sinre's stuff into their room*
*leaves a piece of meat in the bathroom for r_w to find as a new thread warming present*
Waru
-----signature-----
Sinre's Sey
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