SoloFel_RebelGirl posted:Actually, I have plenty to buy DVD's, but I'm not allowed to spend it. Just like I'm not allowed to buy a Force FX lightsaber.
DarthSanctimonious posted:SoloFel_RebelGirl posted:Actually, I have plenty to buy DVD's, but I'm not allowed to spend it. Just like I'm not allowed to buy a Force FX lightsaber. "Then we'll do it real quiet-like." What do I hate? Star by Star. Everything about it, starting with: Troy Denning's decision to portray Anakin as a seventeen-year-old, Force-sensitive version of Admiral Ozzel, from which pretty much every other problem with the book stems. In the EoV duology, Anakin was reckless but quick-thinking, much like his father. In between Rebirth and SbS, he's metamorphosed into a grandstanding idiot more like a Dark Tide-era Ganner. Yeah, it's cute and all how he paraphrases daddy's opinions on statistics, but it makes him look wilfully ignorant in context. While Anakin was in cutsie mode, a couple hackneyed denials of the presence of large sea creatures would have been nice. Fatal Error One (which in addition to being an affront to logical thought is a plot hole big enough to fly the Baanu Raas through): The premise for the entire mission. For some reason, the Vong can't just use any of the other voxyn (which have identical genetic structures) as templates if the Jedi kill the one they're currently using. Also, they can't just start over. It's been, what, a few months since Karrde was nice enough to get the ball rolling on the voxyn project by parading Sturm and Drang around Yavin like it was a dog show? Plenty of time left in the war for the shapers to start off from scratch, even on the moronic premise that they had to. And when Anakin says that sending Luke and the other older Jedi on the mission wouldn't work because the Vong would see through the deception, you can read that as "big mean George wouldn't let Shapiro kill Luke". Fatal Error Two: Bringing Jacen and Alema. Contrary to what he says, Jacen did not coordinate the meld in Vector Prime. That would be Anakin. Denning clearly did not read Vector Prime. Par for the course. As for Alema...why do you bring someone who is entirely fruitloops and motivated only by sheer bloodlust into a situation where everyone is going to be thinking as a collective? Fatal Error Three: So they screw around on Lando's yacht for a few days and live it up. Then they screw around for a few more days aboard the Countless Millenia of Thoroughly Gratuitous and Delightfully Excruciating and Agonizing PAIN! or whatever it was called and get Ulaha killed because Anakin decides he'd prefer to spend a week or so playing around in the Yuuzhan Vong S&M dungeon rather than sieze the Countless Millenia of Thoroughly Gratuitous and Delightfully Excruciating and Agonizing PAIN! immediately. Hey, whatever floats your boat. Okay, so Anakin's only made three fatal errors in judgement that would be obvious to a two-year-old by the time the Countless Millenia of Thoroughly Gratuitous and Delightfully Excruciating and Agonizing PAIN! arrives at Myrkr. Good start. He can't really be faulted for dropping plan A, either, as there's no way he could have known who the Force-sensitives were. Fatal Error Four (biggest screw-up of the whole mission): Anakin walks into a torture chamber (notice a theme developing here?). Anakin sees Lomi and Welk. Lomi and Welk do not immediately get a purple lightsaber through the chest. This gets Jacen and Zekk (who has transformed into a taller version of Jacen as opposed to a distinct character) even crabbier than they already are, which would be more than enough to toss the entire team into dysfunctional chaos even without the constant prodding of the Dark Jedi. It's a bit stupid that Anakin is more worried about helping Dark Jedi than the thousands of slaves on the worldship. Fatal Error Five: The AT-AT. It's clearly a trap, so I'll send Lowie and Jovan in. Hell, I'm charging in too just in case it isn't a trap. Fatal Error Six: Ridiculous acrobatics for no clear purpose. Okay, that grandiose and gratuitous leaping attack just got you gutted. Way to go. Fatal Error Seven: I'm not going to go onto the Tachyon Flyer and enter a healing trance. That would make too much sense. Yun-Shapiro demands sacrifice. Fatal Error Eight: Hey, let's stick Lowie with an ampty rifle and let Lomi and Welk run around our only means of escape unsupervised. What could possibly go wrong? Fatal Error Nine: "Stronger together?" Pfft. "Greater than the sum of our parts?" Snort. Ikrit is stupid. Tahiri, stay right here and don't even think about helping me. Kiss you later! Which brings us to Anakin's death. His brain cells clearly went a few weeks ago, so it's no surprise that the other cells follow. It's not clear whether he was fighting a rear-guard action or trying to clear a path through to the queen, but it was all grandiose enough to look heroic even if it was pointless. Urk. Okay, so Anakin's [insert euphamism of the day here]. That kind of sucks for everyone except Anakin, who goes on the recieve the Qui-gon Jinn Award for Prudence, awarded to those who remove themselves from apallingly bad plots sometime before the halfway point. The twins (especially Jaina, who can't find anything better to think about than how jealous she is that Anakin handed command over to Jacen) promptly take over the work of mucking everything up. "You are in command, Admiral Piett." We'll start in the observation gallery at the pyrotechnics display, as Jacen and Jaina whine and sniffle while the Vong hack their little brother to pieces before their eyes: "But they're going to kill [him]!" "Well, better [him] than me!" If Anakin died to buy his fellow Jedi time to retreat, Jacen and Jaina just nullified his sacrifice by standing around with their opera glasses for the whole spectacle. If he died to clear the way to the queen, they nullified it by taking a nice long lunch break that gives the Vong all the time they could ask for to regroup, bring in reinforcements, and consolidate their gains. Either way, Anakin died for nothing. And why couldn't the Jedi lose the Vong long enough to let Anakin go into a healing trance before he got killed, yet they lose them the second he's [euphamism]? It has nothing to do with Anakin stalling for them, as I adressed previously. Apparently, unlike her father, Jaine has lost her hearing; I'm not sure what exactly Anakin said that sounded like, Jaina, you're in charge. Render my death even more meaningless by blowing off the whole mission so you can take Zekk, Alema and Tahiri grave-robbing. The mortuary! What a wonderful idea! What an incredible smell you discovered! And then the start of Jaina's pathetic Force lightning tantrums. The most utterly unsympathetic character in the book after Tsavong Lah. At least Viqi Shesh had a motive beyond being completely irrational. While Jacen proves for the first time of many that he is the most gullible fool in the galaxy by trusting Vergere, he is surprisingly competent aside from getting mauled and captured because he forgot that he had two lightsabers. So forget what I said about being competent. Back at the ranch, Han makes sarcastic remarks, blows stuff up and deactivates Threepio half a dozen times, Luke acts depressed for thirty seconds, and Leia declares herself done with the Senate, does an incredibly incompetent job of trying to go Rambo on Shesh, declares herself done with the Senate, uses her new treasure trove of sympathy points (Alderaan was getting stale) to make a grandiloquent speech for Fey'lya, and declares herself done with the Senate. Mara just doesn't care. At all. The Jade's Fire is the only thing in the universe worth crying over. Borsk has undergone a sudden and inexplicable transformation to The Saving Hero Of The Galaxy ("the Fey'lya project"?) and blows himself up. When Borsk dies a more meaningful death than Anakin, you know something's wrong. That was longer than I planned. Hope everyone enjoyed the tirade. And to agree with a post on the previous page, yes, Tahiri is the most obnoxious, irritating, aggravating character in Star Wars since Jar Jar Binks. Now that Anakin is [euphamism], she should hook up with Droma.
DarthReven posted:I hate stormtroopers! They are supposed to be elites, not the meatshields of the front lines! SO why the hell do authors make stormies meatbags? Thats what the imperial army regiments are for!
Eleventh_Guard posted:I hate the way the authors of Del Rey are being teases. Anakin Solobot. Anakin Solo the Star Destroyer. What next, Anakin the 99-Millicredit-Store Hydrospanner? I want Anakin Solo like a bottle of Coke: the real thing but definitely not in a can. Hell, I'll settle for a clone with imprinted memories at this point. But come on!
darthzeppo posted:I hate that book. i hate that he killed Chewie & i hate those stupid invaders from Shatner land(Vong).
darthzeppo posted:other things i hate, #The revolving door of the dark side #Emperors clones #No one knowing anything about Padme until R2D2 shows them the DVD of ROTS #Ferus Olin #lack of Padme novels # Bad writers
Aeneas_Falco posted:darthzeppo posted:I hate that book. i hate that he killed Chewie & i hate those stupid invaders from Shatner land(Vong). I agree. I personally don't think any author should have had permission to kill any major characters from the original trilogy.
