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Topic:
Community Fan Film Clearinghouse*** Our own offsite message board? Cool!
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The Musical Jedi
Registered:
Dec '99
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Date Posted:
4/27 12:11pm
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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You guys crack me up. 
-----signature-----
Real heroes were like the characters in that man Tolkien's story, who did what they had to even if they hated it, even if it took their own lives away from them.
-- Otherland: Mountain of Black Glass, Tad Williams
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Lord help our Colts.
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backdeskproductions
Registered:
Aug '07
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Date Posted:
4/27 11:48pm
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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LLL posted:
WHAT'S HAPPENING! 4/27/08
In case you haven't been reading the other thread, we might have a pic of our droid soon.
Vidina posted:
He might be joining my VFX crew and doing some matte paintings aswell, but right now, he's working on the droid. I've given him the URL's for this and the script, so he can get a better idea about how things should look. He should be able to have it ready by monday/tuesday. After that, let me know what needs to be done, and I'll pass the word along and give him deadlines.
It's about time we got a pic comin. I wondered when we would start concepts.
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I now have surround sound capabilities!
I just need a project to exploit my newly discovered powers.
Tee hee
-Jon C. Maxwell
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DarthIshtar
Title: Former CR
Star Wars Trivia Hostess
Registered:
Mar '01
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Date Posted:
4/28 12:29am
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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I have concept art, but it's mostly stick figures. :P
-----signature-----
"You are some self-important encyclopedia with too much time on his hands. I will see to it personally that you are used for spare parts every time my speeder needs an overhaul. You and that overpriced forklift out there." ~Dr. Bel Maden
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DVCPRO-HDeditor
Registered:
Nov '06
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Date Posted:
4/29 9:15pm
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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NOTICE!
The internet will be remarkably quiet for the next week or so, following the release of GTA IV.
Please stand by . . . .
-----signature-----
Editing out of the dailies. http://artists.ultimate-guitar.com/projectfreunleven/music/albums/321447 How about a magic trick? I can make a pencil disappear.
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LLL
Title: TFN Fan Fiction Archive Editor
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
4/29 10:46pm
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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Um...
Maybe I'm just really stupid, here, but...
What the heck is GTA IV??
-----signature-----
''Overall, to get a real deep, nuanced understanding of human behaviour, art is the best way.'' --Natalie Portman. Have a question or suggestion for the Archive? PM me anytime. 
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DarthIshtar
Title: Former CR
Star Wars Trivia Hostess
Registered:
Mar '01
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Date Posted:
4/29 11:09pm
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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Thanks for asking since I have not a clue
-----signature-----
"You are some self-important encyclopedia with too much time on his hands. I will see to it personally that you are used for spare parts every time my speeder needs an overhaul. You and that overpriced forklift out there." ~Dr. Bel Maden
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RX_Sith
Registered:
Mar '06
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Date Posted:
4/30 5:25am
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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GTA IV = Grand Theft Auto IV - The game came out yesterday for the X-Box 360 and Playstation 3, so now everyone who bought it will be spending the next months playing nothing but it. It has been consistently garnering perfect scores of 10 from every major game review site out there, so it must be pretty awesome. Short story first; you steal cars, commit as many crimes as possible, hook up with hookers, and kill lots of people; all within probably a couple hours worth of gameplay.
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Chief of Staff - The SWC Rebel Scum
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DVCPRO-HDeditor
Registered:
Nov '06
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Date Posted:
4/30 6:37am
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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Grand Theft Auto IV would actually be a compelling tale, if it were set in the GFFA.
But it isn't.
So what about our li'l yarn here? 
-----signature-----
Editing out of the dailies. http://artists.ultimate-guitar.com/projectfreunleven/music/albums/321447 How about a magic trick? I can make a pencil disappear.
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LLL
Title: TFN Fan Fiction Archive Editor
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
4/30 8:03am
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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JedSith was supposed to post something fairly soon.
(Oh, please, not another repeat missing person.)
-----signature-----
''Overall, to get a real deep, nuanced understanding of human behaviour, art is the best way.'' --Natalie Portman. Have a question or suggestion for the Archive? PM me anytime.
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DarthIshtar
Title: Former CR
Star Wars Trivia Hostess
Registered:
Mar '01
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Date Posted:
4/30 9:31am
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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LOL, I thought it was something like Galactic Tales of Alderaan IV. Should have known. :P
-----signature-----
"You are some self-important encyclopedia with too much time on his hands. I will see to it personally that you are used for spare parts every time my speeder needs an overhaul. You and that overpriced forklift out there." ~Dr. Bel Maden
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Jedsithor
Registered:
Oct '05
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Date Posted:
4/30 5:24pm
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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LLL posted:
JedSith was supposed to post something fairly soon.
(Oh, please, not another repeat missing person.)
Sorry, I was busy playing GT...uh I mean I was busy writing the script 
It's on it's way, don't worry. I don't have any script done after the first scene I already posted, but I do have the framework and progression done...it's how I work. Most of my time is spent on working out the details of the scenes and figuring out what happens...the last step is to put it in script format and write the dialogue, most of which I already have in my head. The actual writing of the script itself doesn't take me very long since I already have everything worked out before hand...there might be the occasional tweaking of ideas and scenes, but for the most part it's pretty smooth. So i should have a draft online pretty soon.
Also, I know there was some talk earlier in the thread about script formats and how it's presented, well I'm using Final Cut and I can easily export as a PDF so there should be no problem there.
As far as any updates for other writers goes...the smugglers name is now officially "Larson Zell" and if nobody has any objections, his ship (thus far unnamed) will be an old, battered freighter...nothing else will really be described about the ship so I can leave that up to the artists to decide on the make and model. The only real feature that I;m writing into the script is that it is old and looks run down, a real "piece of junk" which fits with the character of Larson, who is being written as a guy who is down on his luck and sees the droid as his big chance to move up the ladder, so to speak.
Also, since the meeting of the droid and the smuggler lacks any real action in my version, I'm considering having a brief scene at the end where they are confronted by Imperial ships as they leave the planet. I haven't fully decided on that yet though. There will also be a little bit of humour in there as well, something I think the story needs to balance out it's tragic and dark overall tone.
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backdeskproductions
Registered:
Aug '07
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Date Posted:
4/30 5:36pm
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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DVCPRO-HDeditor posted:
Grand Theft Auto IV would actually be a compelling tale, if it were set in the GFFA.
But it isn't.
So what about our li'l yarn here?
uh... BRILLIANT!!!! They need to make a Star Wars Version of Grand Theft Auto!!!!!!!!!!! 
-----signature-----
I now have surround sound capabilities!
I just need a project to exploit my newly discovered powers.
Tee hee
-Jon C. Maxwell
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Jedsithor
Registered:
Oct '05
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Date Posted:
4/30 6:45pm
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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Grand Theft Speeder???
Update:
-------------------------------------------
EXT. THEED - MARKET STREET
Stalls line both sides of the street, their owners selling everything from exotic foods to engine parts. There is little room to move as a crowd of potential customers explore the stalls, searching for cheap goods.
ASSORTED VOICES
The finest fruit from the hydro farms of Aquilae, just 25 credits per bag......excuse me sir, do you have a ship? Then perhaps you would be interested in this practically new drive expansion modulator, guaranteed to enhance the performance of your hyperdrive....This processor you sold me is burned through my entire crop, I want my money back...sorry sir, no refunds...how much for that blaster coil...genuine Gungan dresses, all the rage among the fashion elite...
Amidst the crowd, BOT is trying to find room to move, stopping people as they move by in a hurry, finding them uninterested in his plight.
BOT
(trying to get someone to stop and listen)
Excuse me sir...might I have a moment of your...I wonder if you’d be...could I...if you’re not busy I..
BOT is looking around as he walks, trying to get someone’s attention, not watching where he is going as he is suddenly stopped in his tracks, bumping into the back of a large creature.
BOT (CONT’D)
Oh. Forgive me sir. Would you be...
The creature turns around and BOT can now see that it is an angry-looking Gamorrean. The Gamorrean snarls viciously at the droid.
BOT (CONT’D)
Nevermind.
BOT hurriedly scuttles away, as the Gamorrean snorts and lifts a large meat sandwich to his lips, taking a massive bite.
EXT. DOCKING AREA
Larson stands at the main gate to the Docking Area, confronting a DOCKING ADMINISTRATOR, who has a stormtrooper on either side of him, each of them holding rifles.
LARSON ZELL
You can’t do this. I need my ship.
ADMINISTRATOR
Perhaps you should have thought of that before you tried to land.
LARSON ZELL
How was I supposed to know that my landing permit was a fake?
ADMINISTRATOR
It is highly unlikely that you were unaware of this forgery. Indeed I wouldn’t be surprised if you tried to forge it yourself.
LARSON ZELL
That’s not fair.
ADMINISTRATOR
You are lucky that I haven’t had you placed in detention Mr. Zell. If you want your ship back, you will have to pay your fine.
LARSON ZELL
Two thousand credits is a lot for a parking offence. I don’t have that kind of money, nobody on this planet does.
ADMINISTRATOR
You have been fined five hundred for landing without a permit and fifteen hundred for forging Imperial documents. Trust me Mr. Zell, I’m being lenient.
LARSON ZELL
Fine, whatever. Can’t you just give me a ticket, or work out a payment plan or something. I need my ship.
ADMINISTRATOR
I’m afraid that will not be possible. Imperial Transit regulations state that all fines must be paid in full before an impounded ship may be released. I would suggest you seek employment.
LARSON ZELL
But I can’t work without my ship. How am I supposed to deliver cargo if I can’t even get off the planet?
ADMINISTRATOR
That is not my problem. Furthermore, should you fail to pay your fine within 50 standard days, your ship will become the permanent property of the Imperial Fleet and will be stripped down for parts.
LARSON ZELL
You can’t do that.
Larson moves towards the Administrator as if to threatens him, but stops as he glances at the stormtroopers, who are raising their weapons and pointing them at Larson.
ADMINISTRATOR
Good day Mr. Zell.
Larson motions as if he is going to speak again, but instead just sighs and walks away.
LARSON ZELL
(muttering)
Damn bureaucrats.
---------------------------------------------------------
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DVCPRO-HDeditor
Registered:
Nov '06
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Date Posted:
4/30 8:00pm
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
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-----signature-----
Editing out of the dailies. http://artists.ultimate-guitar.com/projectfreunleven/music/albums/321447 How about a magic trick? I can make a pencil disappear.
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Jedsithor
Registered:
Oct '05
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Date Posted:
4/30 8:34pm
Subject:
RE: Community Fan Film Clearinghouse-- A Peek at Part Three forthcoming, perhaps?
- Date Edited:
4/30 8:37pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Jedsithor
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Uh...just noticed something...in part 1, the thieves have the droid hack into the naboo bank to get credits...now the droid has no intention of doing that, but it's shown in the script that he is able to.
Which brings up the question...if he is on this blackmail mission to get money for medical supplies etc, then why couldn't he have just hacked into the bank and altered the records instead and given the family more money? It seems to be a bit of a plothole.
I do have a suggestion in how to fix that without too much rewriting...it involves two minor changes to part one, though overall it is a significant change.
The first is to change the Imperial from a captain (as stated in part one) to an Admiral or a Governor...the reason for this is to make the Imperial someone with enough influence to go against Darth Vader's orders without being reprimanded...this would mean changing the evidence from something that just effects the Imperial to something that effects the Empire as a whole, so that Vader won't risk the information becoming public.
And the second change is to change the droids demands from money to something more substantial...such as relocation to a better planet, with a better life or a restoration of the Admiral's rank and power, or both.
Plus I'm writing a scene where the droid actually hacks into Imperial records, so it wouldn't make much sense to have the blackmail be about money.
EDIT: I'd also like to make another suggestion...drop the opening crawl. I think it's overused in fan films and if you look at the official stuff...only games and the 6 movies use them. Things like the Clone Wars cartoons don't use it at all. And since this, like the Clone Wars, is set during the period of the movies, I think it might be better to begin the film with a simple title rather than an opening crawl.
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