Author Topic: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
Darth_Tim  2422 posts
Registered: Feb '02
14725_Death Star
Date Posted: 5/17/02 1:58pm Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
The only way I can possibly do this is to be as decriptive as possible. This is based on me being an artist. as such what my approach is that I draw an outline of the action scene that I want to write about. "

Tim, we can't be allowed to be this alike. I really gotta check out some of your fanfic, as we seem to have such similar writing styles. >>

I believe you had Rover and my icons confused...but if you want to read DotF it does have some cool action scenes, LOL.

-Tim

 

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Fluke_Groundwalker  5263 posts
Registered: Aug '01
6472_Carnor Jax
Date Posted: 5/17/02 3:45pm Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
I seem to write mass battles and space battles better than I do 1-on-1 duels.

 

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Syntax  7129 posts
Registered: Aug '01
6217_4-LOM
Date Posted: 5/18/02 9:51am Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
Re-reading my duel, I seem to write better when I'm not sick. wink (Had a bad head-cold for about a week now).

 

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Sebulba2179  3481 posts
Registered: Feb '02
5994_Sebulba
Date Posted: 5/18/02 12:45pm Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
Hmm. Sorry, Tim, I guess I did get mixed up. tongue But anyway: I do something similar when writing pod races. I'll first design the racetrack on paper (provided I haven't gotten any suggestions from anybody), then draw in some obstacles. I'll work from the drawing as I write the race and give it as much detail as I feel necessary.

 

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Ace_Pace  91 posts
Registered: Nov '01
Date Posted: 5/20/02 6:55am Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
for anyone who wants help on combat parts, I'm quite god at writing largescale ground combat and fleet battles, not relly good on the 1V1 parts.

for me the easyest thing to do, when you have problems with ground combat is to draw the scean , or if you have some kind of ground combat game use it(I find shogun, and galatic battleground, Empire earth to be quite usefull).

about large scale fleet combat, same thing only drawing is harder, and visulising is effective.

 

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Ace_Pace  91 posts
Registered: Nov '01
Date Posted: 5/20/02 6:56am Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
for anyone who wants help on combat parts, I'm quite god at writing largescale ground combat and fleet battles, not relly good on the 1V1 parts.

for me the easyest thing to do, when you have problems with ground combat is to draw the scean , or if you have some kind of ground combat game use it(I find shogun, and galatic battleground, Empire earth to be quite usefull).

about large scale fleet combat, same thing only drawing is harder, and visulising is effective.

 

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Cheveyo  5496 posts
Registered: Oct '01
47802_Corran Horn
Date Posted: 5/20/02 9:24am Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
Thanks for the help, Tim. happy

 

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Darth_Tim  2422 posts
Registered: Feb '02
14725_Death Star
Date Posted: 5/20/02 11:29am Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
Thanks for the help, Tim. >

No problem!

-Tim

 

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jadesaber2  6148 posts
Registered: Oct '00
41984_X-Wing Outline
Date Posted: 5/20/02 11:34am Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
I've got a kind-of space battle here from the fic I'm working on. Actually, it's more of an escape than a real battle, but it involves some combat, so it counts. If anyone wants to comment on/critique it, go ahead.

In this scene, our protagonists have come out of hyperspace in the middle of a Yuuzhan Vong fleet. They're trying to escape back into hyperspace.
--------------------

Janie grinned as she threw the Banthadownwards. The ship responded as if it were reading her mind, moving almost before she pulled the control stick. The rush was exhilarating. She had forgotten how much she loved flying. Dimly, she heard the thrumming of the quads. Damon and Falco missed more often than not, but it was enough to keep the skips from getting too close.

Leia, sitting in the copilot’s chair, tried to relax her death grip on the console in front of her, but it was hard with the ship going in several different directions at the same time. She watched one display the whole time, relaxing visibly when a light came on.

“Hyperspace jump is plotted! If you’re going to get us out of here, do it now.”

Janie had to keep the ship flying straight for a few seconds while preparing for the jump into hyperspace. In that time, the coralskippers pounded the rear shields. They gave out, and something made a loud bang in the back. Janie could smell ozone. Warning lights lit up the board as she pulled back the hyperdrive control levers.

Nothing happened.

She turned to Leia.

“I think they took out our hyperdrive.”

Leia buried her face in her hands.

“What is it with my escapes and hyperdrives?”

“Well, you are frequently in situations where the rear portion of your ship is exposed to enemy fire, and since the hyperdrive is often located in the rear of a ship, it makes sense- ”

“Not now, Threepio!”

Janie called into the comm as she threw the ship sideways.

“Colonel Pythias, the hyperdrive is damaged. Can you check it out?”

“Right.”

He climbed down the ladder, jumping the last few rungs, then raced back to the hyperdrive.

The ship lurched as something struck the hull. Janie quickly resumed evasive maneuvers. Leia looked up, an idea forming in her mind.

“How many torpedoes do we have?”

“Twenty. Why?”

“Launch them all.”

“All of them? At what?”

“Just launch them straight ahead. Kill their thrust after two seconds.”

Threepio raised an arm in protest.

“But how will they track towards their targets with no thrust?”

“Shut up, Threepio!”

Janie armed the torpedoes and launched them all, two at a time. They sped ahead for two seconds, then blinked out, inertia carrying them forward. Leia concentrated on the torpedoes, imagined them turning, heading back towards the pursuing coralskipper formation. They slowed, turning, and started moving back.

“Get ready to detonate them.”

Her face broke out with sweat as she strained. She had never done anything like this before. Maybe a rock or two, but twenty torpedoes…

She pulled the torpedoes close to each other and sent them towards the center of the coralskipper group. Then she waited, waited…

“Now!”

Janie pushed a button. A fierce white light blossomed behind them, dimming the cockpit windows. A wave of energy slammed into the ship, throwing them around. Threepio wailed in mechanical dismay. The cockpit instruments flickered out, then came back online. When Janie checked her rear scope, there were half as many skips following her. The rest were scattered through space in clumps of debris. They had been unable to track the torpedoes without the thrust trails, and were caught off-guard when Janie detonated them.

“Nice. Very nice.”

The surviving skips threw caution to the wind, approaching at full speed and firing wildly. The rear shields took several direct hits and fell again. Cursing, Janie threw the ship around, facing the skips with full front shields. Leia started firing the laser cannons.

Threat indicators started wailing in the cockpit.

“Oh dear! More ships coming out of hyperspace, directly behind us! We’re done for!”

“Don’t make me deactivate you, Threepio!”

The warning tone fell silent as the newcomers were identified as friendly. As she jinked and dove, Janie risked a glance at the rear scope. A small flotilla had appeared behind them. There were at least ten ships, all freighters and larger, and all bristling with weaponry. They overtook the Bantha and started firing on the skips. Within moments, the Vong fighters were withdrawing. Leia used the lull to get a look at the new ships. She recognized one of them.

“That’s the Wild Karrde!”

As if on cue, the comm beeped.

Rusted Bantha, this is Talon Karrde. Ambassador Organa Solo, is that you?”

“It’s me, Karrde. Thank you for your assistance.”

“I’m getting paid for it. And don’t thank me just yet. They’re bringing in their big ships. I’ve got three cruiser analogs inbound.”

Sure enough, three large, misshapen ships were closing on them, a cloud of coralskippers close behind. Karrde’s ships would never be able to hold them off. They had to withdraw.

“Is your hyperdrive functional?”

There was a flash behind Janie, then the sound of sparks. She heard a curse, then a whoop. Damon strode into the cockpit, his face smeared with soot and grease. He looked very much like a common mechanic, not the Ambassador’s guard.

“It is now. Where are we going?”

“The meeting’s still on, it’s just been moved to a different location. We’re transmitting the coordinates now. See you on the other side.”

Moments before the Yuuzhan Vong capital ships entered firing range, the ships flickered and disappeared into hyperspace.
--------------------

 

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Booster-1986  447 posts
Registered: May '01
6920_Booster Terrik
Date Posted: 5/25/02 12:10am Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
Just found this and boy amd I glad!!! My fanfic has been largely character driven and dialogue-oriented, but i am coming to a cusp where there will be a battle, and i am hopeless about it.

I would be grateful if anyone would be willing to help me with the battle scenes /// essentially it is a battle between a bunch of renegade Bothans, some Imps who think Thrawn is still alive against some modern Imperials who work with the NR forces, Luke, Mara and Rogue Squadron and Karrde and his crew ... the Bothans intend to take over Centerpoint and our heros have to thwart them grin

If anyone is interested, please respond or PM me. Thanks

Ands if it comes to it, would it be acceptable to post some stuff here for a critique? I see others have done that.

 

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jadesaber2  6148 posts
Registered: Oct '00
41984_X-Wing Outline
Date Posted: 6/5/02 9:53pm Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
Up for anyone who might need advice on action scenes.

 

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Darth_Tim  2422 posts
Registered: Feb '02
14725_Death Star
Date Posted: 6/6/02 7:58am Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
Apologizing for being lax in my beta reading here, I've been a bit preoccupied with my own stories but I'll try to get to the other posts here ASAP...or if any one else wants to help, they're welcome to it.

-Tim

 

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SpeldoriontheBlended  2224 posts
Registered: Apr '02
8031_B'omarr
Date Posted: 6/15/02 6:11am Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
Hi!

this thread is really cool. could somrone takke a peek at this and tell me what they think?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Corran grinned. This reminds me of when I was trying for Rogue Squadron.
“You in there Whistler?” he asked. The green and white astromech droid burbled positively and Corran checked his readouts. All systems are go. He thumbed the comm.
“Green group, this is Lead. Do you copy?”
“ Green two reporting in”
“Green three reporting in”
Once Inyri had reported in, the four X-wings split into an escort formation around the Pulsar Skate . Mirax’s voice crackled into life over Corran’s headset.
“Green Lead, I’ve got two flights of Halberd class fighters coming in at attack vectors. That’s eight Birdie’s”
“We’re on ‘em, Skate ” Corran targeted the leading ship and keyed up schematic of the ship on one of his secondary monitors.
All of fifteen metre’s long, the Halberd class fighter had two trapezoid wings sprouting from a central core. The three engines mounted on its rear gave it a nifty turn of speed. An extended storage area mounted behind gave the pilot an ability to carry off a large amount of spoils, making it a favourite for many of the pirate groups that operated throughout inhabited space. As well as a shield generator, the fighter carried twin lasers, a nose mounted iron cannon and a pair of concussion missile launchers, making it a fearsome opponent in a dogfight. They were hyperspace capable, but as Corran hadn’t picked them up coming out of hyperspace he couldn’t be sure that there wasn’t a capital ship lurking out of sensor range.
“Lead, this is a training sim, so shall we use our torps?” asked Gavin, breaking in on his thoughts.
“Well, we were given them, so I’d say yes. Give the hopefuls a chance to dogfight though”
The leading pair suddenly launched two concussion missiles each, the pink projectiles jetting over the cockpits of their launching ships. The second pair followed suit.
Corran set himself to gunning down the missiles. Flipping his lasers over to dual fire, he swept his fire over the missiles, destroying all four before they posed a real threat. Killing his thrust, he quaded up his lasers and programmed a set of microjumps into the navcomputer, keeping a wary eye glued to the sensor board at the same time.
“Whistler, keep those updated so we’ll always end up behind the second flight. Send the co-ordinates to Smiley.” The droid complied with a chirp. And sent the data stream to Ooryl’s R5 Unit.
“Gavin, you and Inyri take lead.” Corran ordered. “Twom, on my mark, make the micro jumps your astromech is receiving.”
“Copy that Lead.” Corran followed the engine glows of Inyri’s ship as she swooped in on the enemy fighters.
Leading Ooryl round in a turn to port, Corran made sure that the X-wing’s nose was pointed directly towards the Pulsar Skate . They must think we are trying to approach the combat from a different angle. He smiled. In essence they are not far wrong.
“Three, Four keep them busy.” He put his had on the hyperspace lever. “Okay Ooryl, let’s go. Three, two, one... Mark!”
Pulling down on the lever, he watched the stars turn into lines and then back to dots as the sip reverted back to real space. Only pausing to check that his wingman was with him, he made the second and third micro jumps.
The first jump had taken behind the Pulsar Skate . Although the Halberds knew the direction of the jump, the Skate’s mass meant that trainees had no idea where they had come out of hyperspace. As they swooped round, it meant they would be able to engage the smaller ships in a dogfight where their numerical superiority would give them the advantage. If the microjumps had been a part of a diversion to split the force in half with the X-wings jumping back to combat the other flight on equal terms, then they could complete their mission by destroying Mirax’s freighter.
The second and third jumps put them directly behind the Halberds, right in the point where their engine glow blinded their sensor-screens to the X-wing’s presence.
“Ooryl, use torps. They’ve got a target warning system on these ships, so fire as soon as you get a lock. That should confuse ‘em enough for us to close to dog fighting range.”
Flipping over to proton torpedos, he selected single fire. Corran targeted one of the slim fighters, got a lock, and fired. As that ship started evasive manoeuvres, he dropped the crosshairs down and launched a second torpedo at its wingman.
“Mirax, is Liat going to use those lasers or just watch the light-fight?” Corran asked.
“Nah, we thought we thought we’d have a game of sabaac”. Corran could visualise the smile in his wife’s voice. “Laser cannons online Commander Horn sah!”
` Changing his weapons back to lasers, he dived down below his wingman’s ship.
“Ooryl, I’m you’re wing.” A proton torpedo had destroyed one of the Halberds, and another had failed to evade the fire from the Pulsar Skate’s turret.
Corran followed the Gand pilot in as Ooryl barrelled in on other two fighters who her strafing Mirax’s heavily modified baudo class yacht who broke off their attack runs and looped round to face the X-wings closing in on them.
Ooryl fired first; his rapid barrage of laser blasts collapsing the Halberd's shields. The pilot, out of reflex hit the ruder pedal and spun the ship round to escape destruction. Unfortunately, his turn gave Corran the perfect opportunity.
The Corellian pilot’s shots tore into already damaged ship, vaporizing a part of the armour plating protecting the connection between the cockpit and the rest of the ship. The pilot was no longer a participant of the battle.
Ooryl chased after the remaining ship. The faster Halberd gained a considerable lead on him, but slowed to avoid the still spinning ship that was the simulator’s latest “kill”. One of Ooryl’s shots hit one of the magazines of concussion missiles on the derelict ship.
The resulting explosion ripped the fleeing snubfighter apart. A large chunk of debris shunted past the shields of Ooryl’s X-wing and sliced through the starboard s-foils, reducing them to mangled streamers of ceramate.
“Two, stay there and get Smiley to work on those shields.”
“Ooryl complies with your order.”
Gand’s have a very interesting naming structure. They refer to themselves as “Gand” until they are granted their family name when they show themselves to be worthy of it. When they have achieved a feat of learning they get given their first name.
Only Gands who have done extraordinary deeds are allowed to use personal pronouns. To do this they must be invited to become janwuine by the Elders of Gand.
There is a ceremony janwuine-jika. Humans and other species can be made hinwuine, allowing them to say “I” without sounding vulgar or rude to the Gands.
Gands would, if ashamed, only use their family or first names, and if truly mortified, would refer to themselves only as “Gand”. As Ooryl had been made jinwuine after the squadron’s exploits on the planet Thyffera, the fact that he referred to himself as Ooryl meant that he wasn’t very happy with his performance.
“Three report”, Corran ordered. “Three, do you copy?”
“One, this is four. We vaped two of them, but Gavin got hit by ion fire and had to eject. He’s down.”
“I copy Inyri. I’m incoming.”
Pulling back on the joystick, Corran nosed his fighter over the Pulsar Skate , and then down into the dogfight.
The remaining pair of Halberds were using their ion cannons to batter down Inyri’s shields, which had already gone down to fifty percent.
Corran screamed in, his lasers sending scarlet pulses of light in at the two Halberds. They shied away from his guns and then spotted that Mirax had broken away from the fight and was starting to retreat from the engagement. One of them chased after the Skate whilst the other stayed to fight off Corran and Inyri.
The Halberd fired a salvo of ion bolts at Inyri’s ship and collapsed her shield and fried her ejection circuits, causing her to punch out of her fighter. Her now out of control ship jetted forwards and glanced of the shields of the ship that had shot her down. The nose of Inyri’s ship crumbled and bent upon impact, but the less sturdy ship was sent spinning of at an angle.
Corran took it out with a quad blast that melted the cockpit and the extended cargo area behind it.
Whistler squealed loudly.
“The Skate’s been disabled? Well that Halberd has got to blow it up, so there is still some hope left.”
Corran flew in at his wife’s ship. But the final ship was not there.
“Whistler, were is –we’re loosing shield power. What the…?” the ship had appeared in his aft arc and disabled him, sending blue ion tendrils snaking over his hull, shutting Whistler down in the process.
All he could do was watch the Halberd cruse in to melt the Skate and think: We’ve lost. He was wrong.
Ooryl ‘s lopsided craft slid over the hull of the Pulsar Skate. The Gand launched a proton torpedo at the evidently surprised Halberd, the blue projectile detonating in an explosion that consumed the fighter.
“Scratch one Birdie” Ooryl clicked, sounding amused.
Corran popped the canopy of the simulator pod, smiling to himself as he saw a tall, blonde haired woman exit the room. I think I can guess one of the new Rogues, he thought to himself as he walked over to Mirax and Ooryl.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So what. I love the X-wing books. happy

 

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SpeldoriontheBlended  2224 posts
Registered: Apr '02
8031_B'omarr
Date Posted: 6/16/02 12:51am Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
Uppers!

 

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Loka Hask  901 posts
Registered: Jul '99
6523_Prince Xizor
Date Posted: 6/16/02 9:30pm Subject: RE: T.A.C.T.I.C.S.=Thread for Advice and Criticism Towards Improving Combat Scenes
There's a big thing to remember when doing action scenes, atleast for 1st or 3rd person perspectives.

Most characters have 5 senses; why not use them?

I tend to see that too many people rely simply on sight and hearing-- there's three others, although even I'll admit that it would take some creativity to find a place for taste (but if you successfully could, it would make it all the better).

The five senses, for those of you who live in a closet, are:

1. Sight
2. Hearing
3. Touch
4. Taste
5. Smell

I'll see if I can write something up here, using as many senses as I can. You can trully immerse a reader if he knows EXACTLY what the environment is like where the characters are fighting.

----


With a flick of his wrist, Korran's azure blade sprung to life, illuminating the once active foundry. He stepped sideways and watched as Lerin's whitish-green blade snapped and hissed as it ignited.

Lerin stood tall, holding his saber-- its hilt extended for double-handed use-- upright like a sentry. His feet were wide apart, his face stoic. He nodded slowly, opting for his body language to do the talking.

His body langauge said 'Defeat me, if you can.'

Tearing himself from his stance, Korran jumped from the permacrete floor. Grit and dust kicked up from his heels as he slammed down on Lerin, forcing the lightsabers against eachother. The energy blades crackled and hissed in protest as they were forced together, but Lerin showed did not share their distress. Placing a foot back, he pushed forward against Korran's blade.

Finding himself to be losing this stand-off, Korran spun away from it, using his saber to keep Lerin at a comfortable distance, should he decide to follow.

To Korran's surprise, Lerin was already following. Having predicted his cross-slash, Lerin ducked low, avoiding exposing his innards to the stale and humid foundry-air.

Korran brought his saber back along the same path, forcing Lerin back once more. It frustrated Korran to see the calm look on his face; He wanted to twist it, to make him learn what pain was really about.

Lerin moved forward, spinning his saber viciously in what seemed like a grim-parody of a baton-twirler. The sabers blurred as they clashed together, the hisses and screams of pure energy bouncing off the solid walls of the derelict foundry.

As they fought, Korran made his way backward to a catwalk that lead over a chasm-- a place where they had dumped molten metal long ago. As he felt his boot clank against the ancient metal of the catwalk, Korran forced back a smile. He was leading Lerin right where he wanted him.

Lerin pushed Korran further along the catwalk, moving deeper and deeper into the darkness. Only their weapons illuminated their surroundings now; they knew that a step in any direction save forward and backward would mean a long, hard plummet that would eventually end with steel that had millenia to cool.

Korran fended off a particularly hard strike from Lerin, stumbling back only slightly. He needed space. Throwing out his hand, he used the Force to propel Lerin backward along the catwalk.

Lerin was caught unawares as an invisible hand picked him up and flung him backward, sending him skidding along. The fingers in his left hand fumbled for purchase on the oily metal as he felt his body teeter over edge, his left hand clinging tightly to his still ignited lightsaber. As Lerin went over, his nimble fingers finally caught the edge, suspending himself over edge of the abyss.

Korran didn't waste any time. He jumped forward, bring his saber straight down at Lerin. As the saber screamed toward Lerin, he swung his body forward, flipping up and around the catwalk with the aid of the force. He landed on the opposite edge.

Korran's blade had swung directly through the catwalk, cleaving it in two. The ancient structure creaked as it began to buckle, heaving the two combatants up and down as they struggled to keep their balance, as well as their lives.

Lerin ducked a quick lunge to his head as Korran back stepped, searching desperately for the edge of the catwalk. It was collapsing as they fought along it, sections falling one at a time.

The section below Lerin suddenly cave way, and only his reflexes saved him. He lunged forward, flipped, and found Korran waiting for him. A quick up-swing almost sent Lerin reeling backward, head he already not jumped high into the air.

The catwalk swayed dangerously as Lerin and Korran made their way as quickly as possible to safety. Both wanted to save their own life; niether wanted to do it at the expense of letting the other live.

-----

What happens? Oooh, I just don't know wink .

So, let's see what sense I used, and how:

1. Sight: A myriad of things here. From the dark, brooding scenery of an abandoned foundry to the color of their lightsabers. You choose.
2. Hearing: Never forget what lightsabers soud like. They scream and hiss and hum and buzz, and everything. Very dramatic.
3. Touch: When Lerin was going over the edge, I noted the metal was "oily". Such small details can really make a scene come alive.
4. Taste: Like I said, taste is a hard one. I probably could have if I went further into the scene.
5. Smell: It was very small... did you catch it? "Having predicted his cross-slash, Lerin ducked low, avoiding exposing his innards to the stale and humid foundry-air."


Basically, what my point was of this absolutely digustingly long post was that scenery can really make the fight. Make sure your readers know where your characters are fighting, and make them use the terrain to their advantage: toss a few crates using the force, or cut down a few trees with their lightsabers.

Maybe I'll offer my opinion on other types of combat if anyone found this useful.

 

-----signature-----
Me: "Yeah, I'm @#$%ing amazing."
Darth: "And modest."
Me: "@#$%ing modest."
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