| Author |
Topic:
Old Rogues go Rogue: Latest Update: Wes' Sister Comes to Visit
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Phoenix_Reborn
Registered:
Feb '03
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Date Posted:
10/19/03 12:49pm
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: FINALLY UPDATED!! Hobbie's Droid, Date, and Doom
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Poor Hobbs!
I missed this fic! I'm glad to see it updated, but if I was the Hobster I would leave that planet never to return again...it's detremental to a pilots' survival rate...
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Jello Knight
Fightin'Texas Aggie class of '07
A-WHOOP!
Token Canadian to the Sawpuppies of 203
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talkingbanana
Registered:
Jun '03
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Date Posted:
10/19/03 1:00pm
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: FINALLY UPDATED!! Hobbie's Droid, Date, and Doom
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YES!!! You FINALLY updated! Thanks for the PM tellin' me, by the way. I appreciate that.
Hilarious as always, keep up the good work and UPDATE MORE OFTEN!
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How? Myn/Lara one-shot, Betrayal, slight AU http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28175766/p1/?0 Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
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SECRETSISTER
Registered:
Nov '01
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Date Posted:
10/19/03 5:41pm
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: FINALLY UPDATED!! Hobbie's Droid, Date, and Doom
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OMG!!! Mountain shaped ships! Ewok vases! Myri marrying Wes?!? 
And poor, poor, Hobbie. How does he do it? I've never seen so much bad luck embodied in one person!!!!
Wes's pilots are a hoot! I think he needs to open a Child Care Center or something!!
Keep going! Keep going! 
-----signature-----
Jedi Outcasts Supreme Chancellor.
Ice Cream Queen of the JO
Keeper of the Palso Fan Club secret password.
The person responsible is the one who did it. - Hubby
Every galaxy has a black hole - NOVA
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neila_nuruodo
Registered:
Aug '02
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Date Posted:
10/20/03 10:30am
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: FINALLY UPDATED!! Hobbie's Droid, Date, and Doom
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*catches breath*
That was hilarious!! I loved Hobbie playing with that scientist's mind... and the Hard Luck Cafe...LOL!! Post more soon! 
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.E.v.i.l. My antidrug.  Is that an uzi or are you just happy to see me? When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into the wounds of your enemies. ~*~ English regularly jumps out of dark alleys and mugs other languages for all their good words. -Anyara
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I love Sci Fi
Registered:
Jan '00
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Date Posted:
10/20/03 1:11pm
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: FINALLY UPDATED!! Hobbie's Droid, Date, and Doom
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lol  ) poor guy he just can't get anything right
-----signature-----
"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired,
is in a final sense, theft from those who hunger and are not fed,
those who are cold and are not clothed." (April 16, 1953).
~Dwight D. Eisenhower
Wars not make one great. ~Yoda
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Spike2002
Title: FF-UK RSA
Arena Manager
Registered:
Feb '02
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Date Posted:
10/29/03 9:52am
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: FINALLY UPDATED!! Hobbie's Droid, Date, and Doom
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I'm so glad I finally got around to checking out your updates. That last one was hilarious.
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"It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him." - Arthur C. Clarke  I agree with halibut  Master to Louis_Skywalker 
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talkingbanana
Registered:
Jun '03
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Date Posted:
11/12/03 12:34pm
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: FINALLY UPDATED!! Hobbie's Droid, Date, and Doom
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It's almost the 15th . . . here's a please-update-soon UP!
-----signature-----
How? Myn/Lara one-shot, Betrayal, slight AU http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28175766/p1/?0 Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
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Rogue...Jedi
Title: Arena Manager
Registered:
Jan '00
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Date Posted:
11/13/03 12:38pm
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: FINALLY UPDATED!! Hobbie's Droid, Date, and Doom
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this is hilarious!!!
Keep it up!
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Kettch_the_Jedi
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
11/15/03 4:18pm
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: FINALLY UPDATED!! Hobbie's Droid, Date, and Doom
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Agent_Jaid
Glad you liked the Myri part.
pengwin_jibberish
lol! and I feel proud that I made you cry with laughter.
JadeSolo
I liked the flight suit part also. And I think scientists (spacey ones) are really fun to write.
CptCorranHorn
more advise coming (next post with Hobbie)
Sahiri
Glad you liked Hobbie.
Jedi_jainafel
Thanks. I feel as if I have acheived something good when I cause a reader to enjoy the entire post (with laughter).
Phoenix_Reborn
Detrimental for sure.
talkingbanana
Glad you liked it. I am pretty sure I'll get the update posted tonight. I am pleased that you are looking forward to it.
SecretSister
Child Care Center... hmmm... it could be arranged. And, yeah, poor Hobbie but I see a change of luck in his future... sort of.
neila_nuruodo
Yeah, playing with the scientist's mind is definitely fun to write. Glad you liked the Hard Luck Cafe also. I have something planned that may make him wish he had maybe... well, I don't want to give away any hints.
I love Sci Fi
He does have strikes against him, listening to the other pilot's advice.
Spike2002
Glad you liked it.
Rogue...Jedi
Greetings! I am happy that you are amused with the story.
-----signature-----
Writers Fluxx -- Join the Fun, Lose Some Sanity http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/23498487/p1 I have Writer's Mountain--worse than Writer's Block. Skettché, Handmaiden of the Crest
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Rogue...Jedi
Title: Arena Manager
Registered:
Jan '00
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Date Posted:
11/15/03 6:36pm
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: FINALLY UPDATED!! Hobbie's Droid, Date, and Doom
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*coughs* I notice the one post you didnt respond to, which I will now update and say it is the 15th.
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Jaina_and_Jag
Registered:
Apr '03
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Date Posted:
11/15/03 7:25pm
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: FINALLY UPDATED!! Hobbie's Droid, Date, and Doom
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Great post!
J&J
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Kettch_the_Jedi
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
11/15/03 8:42pm
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: FINALLY UPDATED!! Hobbie's Droid, Date, and Doom
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Rogue...Jedi
I know, I know. I have a post ready but I'm not too happy with it. I think I misplaced my humor and can't get the next post correct but I need to post it tonight. AAAcck!
Jaina_and_Jag
Thanks; glad you liked it.
-----signature-----
Writers Fluxx -- Join the Fun, Lose Some Sanity http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/23498487/p1 I have Writer's Mountain--worse than Writer's Block. Skettché, Handmaiden of the Crest
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Kettch_the_Jedi
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
11/15/03 8:53pm
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: Wes' Sister Comes for a Visit
- Date Edited:
12/2/03 9:29am (3 edits total)
Edited By:
Kettch_the_Jedi
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I know it is short and I do not think I am yet happy with this latest post, but I wanted to make sure that it was up on the fifteenth so here it is. I will try and add more before the end of the month (but no promises).
Also note that Wes' background is being supplied by Daughter of Yubyub's story The Life of Wes Janson.
Lastly, since there is a month between posts (usually) and I alter between characters I decided to add a summary to refresh your memories (in case you do not want to re-look up the last posts). Enjoy!
Summary: Two posts prior, Wes arrived on his second day with his new squadron to find them all dressed as famous new republic and imperial personas (except Swroe, the mostly-def pilot). His lone female pilot, Drea, dressed as an ersatz Princess Leia complete with tasty cinnarolls attached to her head. Wes had his new pilots perform a simple flying exercise in which they try to avoid being shot down by him. His pilots, however, used their solid green ships to camouflage with the grass and hide. Exasperated, Captain Wes “convinced” the supply officer to give him a cartload of cans containing the most hideous, bright yellow paint he had.
Part 11
Two hours after finally approving his pilots’ paint jobs, Captain Wes Janson sat at his new desk filling out what seemed to be forms requiring information that no one should need to know. Take, for example, question number 54 on form eight which was required for any exercise using ships in the air: did any pilot experience any itches on their persona while flying one of the government’s ships, and if so, where was the itch located?
Wes sighed, reminding himself that at least the ships were all properly painted a color so blaring they were probably contributing to his slightly massive headache; there was no way anyone could hide in these ships. Of course, it had taken two tries before the ships were painted as he wanted them, but with this group that seemed almost a miracle. The first time Wes had checked on his pilots to see their progress he had been both dismayed and impressed with how his pilots had responded to his order “cover you entire ship with this paint.”
First, he had checked on Afba, who had interpreted his order as “stripe your entire ship with this paint.” Bright yellow stripes across the entire length of a normal Y-wing would have been bad enough but Afba had not gotten rid of the original green paint. The green and yellow stripes created a combination that was physically painful to the eyes (and a good reminder that Hobbie’s lifeday was coming up soon).
Secondly, Wes had observed Drea’s paint job. Not being extremely patient, Drea had decided to hook up the paint to a supervac and reverse the power flow. Most of the ship did get painted; however, so did everything else within a large radius of Drea’s ship. Wes’ intention of making the ships impossible to hide was voided in that particular area of the hanger but as a positive side effect Dria would never have to worry about someone stealing her ship—even smugglers had standards. Dria swore that she could find the Y-wing easily by moving her head around until she could determine the outlines of the ship but Wes figured that if he ever needed to get in her Y-wing he would have to stumble around in that scary world of eye-hurting yellow until he physically ran into it.
Next—after procuring a set of dark sunglasses in case any of his other pilots were as impatient as his female pilot—Wes checked out Pilla’s artwork. Out of all the pilots, Wes had admired the questioning pilot’s job the best. Pilla had covered his entire ship with large smiley faces. Large Yellow smiley faces. “I do not want to see any green on the ship,” Wes had clarified, to which Pilla had responded, “Can I glue purple teddy bears on the green spots?” Trying not to be envious of Pilla’s creativity as well as trying to remember the idea for future use, Wes had kept a disapproving expression on his face and simply responded, “No, I want nothing on the ship but yellow paint.”
Continuing on, the new captain went to Droke’s assigned area of the hanger. Trying to guess what Droke’s excuse for his still-fully-green ship was, Wes found the pilot in his cockpit, covering his entire control board in yellow paint: his radar screen, power gauges, control boards, etc. Wes had stifled his first impulse of stuffing his head in the full paint can and waiting there until his pilots disappeared. Instead, he fake-calmly pointed out to the pilot the difference between the outside of a ship and the inside of the ship. When Droke had reminded Wes that his order had not specified whether he wanted the entire interior or entire exterior of the ship painted, Wes had given in and flung himself at the paint can. Unfortunately, Drea had kicked the can away and Wes had ended up face down on the hanger floor staring at Drea’s shoes. He idly wondered whether Princess Leia had worn red leather boots with ambrian dung clinging to their bottoms under her white ceremonial dress. Wes stressed the word “outside” to Droke as he walked away, ignoring the pilot’s mutterings: “why didn’t he tell me that before I took the engine apart to paint its inside?”
Passing Swroe’s ship Wes hardly paused as he made a mental note to command the rest of the team to work on communicating his real instructions to the hearing-impaired pilot. Swroe had wrapped his entire ship in brightly colored cellophane with multi-sized bells hanging from every square inch of the ship. It probably would have been quite a sight and sound when the ship flew and Wes was tempted to let the decorations stand but he was afraid what the others would do when they learned that Swroe could keep his ship the way he wanted it.
Finally, Wes reached Vrawni’s ship. In one glance, Wes learned more than he wanted about his last pilot. Apparently, Vrawni had two unusual hobbies: he collected working stun guns and he was not a people person. Wes figured out the first hobby by deducing that the only way Vrawni—not an exceptionally large or strong man—could glue more than twenty live mechanics to his ship was by stunning them first. The second hobby was apparent from the fact that Vrawni had painted all of the mechanics from head to foot—leaving only their white eyes uncoated-- with the yellow paint. True, he had followed Wes’ instructions to cover the ship with the paint but it was just too disconcerting having that many seemingly disembodied eyes staring at Wes imploringly every time he approached the ship.
So, the ships were painted, the pilots cleaning up to go home and Wes was stuck filling out forms that seemed to reproduce right there on his desk. What could be worse? Wes asked himself. He immediately glanced all around the office, hoping desperately that no one heard him. If there was such a thing as Fate, she would now be planning something absurdly torturous for him after he muttered that challenge.
After being reassured that Fate either did not exist or was on a caf break, Wes continued his fight against the evil forces of darkness; he continued filling out the forms.
Forty minutes later Captain Wes believed in Fate and knew she had a wicked sense of humor; he heard the one word in the galaxy that could strike fear into his being.
“Wessy!”
Inwardly and outwardly cringing Wes wished he could find that full paint can for his head. He slowly looked up just as his oldest sister grabbed him in a large embrace.
“What are you doing here Ketty?” Wes asked when finally freed from his sister’s enthusiastic hug.
“Mom sent me to make you come to dinner at the farm tonight,” Ket paused and then slighly continued, “and to show you a holo.”
Wes knew immediately what was coming next but before he could attempt to sidetrack his sibling, she pulled out a small holograph. “Remember her?”
“Umm... yeah. Isn’t she the girl who tried to visit me on Ralltiir and ended up causing the entire planetary security guard to chase after her, thinking she was some nefarious criminal even though she was only ten years old and she threw up every time she got more than a meter off the ground?”
Ket lost her smile for a moment. “Well, yes, but Luu has grown up. She is quite pretty and her father now owns the farm next to mom and dad’s.” Ket paused, "Mom wants to invite her to dinner also."
“Is her nose still larger than her feet?”
“Wes Janson!” Ket scolded. “That was not nice!”
“Sorry,” Wes sat back in his char. “She’s always made me uncomfortable, though. Every time she is around me she either blurts out exactly what she is thinking or she mixes her sentences up.” Wes shrugged. “I always knew she liked me.”
“She is different,” Ket emphasized.
Subtlety is not a virtue of my family, Wes thought. Everyone has been trying to find me a girlfriend since I first mentioned that I wanted to be a pilot off-planet. He sighed with irritation, realizing that the decades had not dimmed his family’s zeal in convincing him to get married and “own land like a good Taanabian.” They would not stop until he had a farm of little Wesses running around, terrorizing the planet.
Sudden inspiration struck. “Will there still be room for a friend of mine to come?” Wes asked.
“What’s his name?” his sister asked suspiciously.
“Actually my friend is a she.”
“What’s her name?”
“Umm...I am not going to tell you.”
Ket gave Wes the you-are-the-world’s-most-annoying-brother look that she had perfected in their childhood. Wes smiled. This could be fun. “Yep, I am not going to tell you,” he taunted.
After a moment of continuing the Look, his sister gave up and tried another avenue of attack. “What does she look like?”
“I am not going to tell you.”
“Is she from Taanab?”
“I am not going to tell you.”
“Is she just a friend or a Special Friend?”
“I am not going to tell you.”
“Urgghh… you can shoot down warlords trying to take over the galaxy but you cannot answer a basic question. Fine! Just tell me whether mom should invite Luu or not.”
Wes shrugged, “Why settle for one girl when I could have two?”
The older brother almost laughed out loud at the expression of enlightenment that appeared on his sister’s face. “Settle” was one half of his mother and sisters’ favorite phrase. The full phrase being “settle down.”
Right away, he knew he had won; he had beat out Fate. There was no way his female family members would do anything to distract him from a woman he was interested in: Luu was history.
“Well, I better go but I will see you tonight.” Ket kissed Wes and walked out of the office.
Wes smiled with his victory. Then he realized that he had no date. In fact, the only females on Taanab that he knew—who weren’t related to him--were a Princess Leia wannabe pilot and an annoying girl trying to organize a rebellion. He had two hours to find a woman willing to pose as his serious girlfriend in front of his very intense and scary family.
Maybe he had not beat Fate.
****************************************
-----signature-----
Writers Fluxx -- Join the Fun, Lose Some Sanity http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/23498487/p1 I have Writer's Mountain--worse than Writer's Block. Skettché, Handmaiden of the Crest
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Kettch_the_Jedi
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
11/15/03 9:37pm
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: Latest Update: Wes' Sister Comes to Visit
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OOps! I forgot to change the subject line...
Old age and all that.
-----signature-----
Writers Fluxx -- Join the Fun, Lose Some Sanity http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/23498487/p1 I have Writer's Mountain--worse than Writer's Block. Skettché, Handmaiden of the Crest
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CptCorranHorn
Registered:
Oct '02
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Date Posted:
11/15/03 10:04pm
Subject:
RE: Old Rogues go Rogue: Latest Update: Wes' Sister Comes to Visit
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Ha! Great post!! I cant wait to see what Wes does with this
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And yes, the sexual innuendo WAS implied.
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