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Topic:
Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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Master Peael
Registered:
Aug '99
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Date Posted:
2/10/00 1:07am
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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more would be good.
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Jane Jinn
Registered:
Jan '00
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Date Posted:
2/10/00 4:02am
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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I do not hear another whunk coming!
I do not hear another whunk coming!
I do not hear--
Sorry! I promised not to make any more prophetic comments! Just disregard this!
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Mostly retired now
Just making the occasional guest appearance
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Jedi Speewwy
Registered:
Dec '99
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Date Posted:
2/10/00 2:14pm
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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Oh yay! More! More! More!
-----signature-----
Meine Ruh' ist hin
Mein Herz ist schwer.
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Anonymous
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Date Posted:
2/10/00 2:35pm
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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no whunk yet.
*******************
Qui-Gon sat outside the parked cruiser staring at the stars. Far from the city lights they gleamed brightly against a black sky. Only a few clouds drifted by to obscure them. He was genuinely worried now. Obi-Wan was clearly very ill. Qui-Gon was also aware the boys were without any supplies. Two days without food or water in any jungle was a long time, and from his short trek with the monks to a safe camp he understood the dangers that this one posed were greater than most. He heard movement and turned.
Sheniko sat down beside him. She hugged her knees for warmth. It was amazing how much colder the air was above the forest. Qui-Gon offered her his cloak.
"No, I do not need it," she said and looked away a moment as though the offer embarrassed her. When she turned back, she said, "You’re worried."
Qui-Gon nodded. "Obi-Wan is a good apprentice, but he is young. This is more than can be expected of him."
"You’ve had other apprentices?"
"Obi-Wan is the third. I wasn’t going to take another, but he sort of happened."
Sheniko smiled. "Destiny has a way of bringing people together. I have only His High Holiness," she said. "With him missing, it is like a part of me is missing."
"Jedi Masters and their padawans become very closely bonded. I feel much the same way."
"And yet one day he will become a knight and you will let him go."
"When he’s ready."
"And will you be ready to give him up?"
"It is difficult, but yes. When he’s ready, I too will be. When knighthood was conferred upon my first padawan it was a proud day for both of us."
"And your second?"
"He did not choose to complete his training."
"This was a great shame for you."
Qui-Gon was impressed by her insight. "Yes, I felt that Xanatos’ betrayal was my fault. When the other masters doubted him, I thought they doubted me and I fought against them. It was a difficult lesson."
"It was difficult to give up E-yadu. But I had so much hope for him and so I made the decision. But, His High Holiness is like a son to me. I have dedicated my life to him. I do not wish to give him up." Sheniko shivered and Qui-Gon once again offered his cloak. This time she took it.
"I hope you won’t have to."
"And I hope you won’t lose your apprentice before you are both ready."
And yet as she said that, Qui-Gon was growing more worried that he would. He looked at the sky and found himself wishing he were anywhere but where he was.
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Trika_Kenobi
Registered:
Nov '99
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Date Posted:
2/10/00 5:18pm
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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Too cool! This is excellent writing!
Trika Kenobi
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Jedi Gryph Grin
Registered:
Sep '99
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Date Posted:
2/10/00 7:53pm
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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Very cool. Sorry for such a short post, but I have a time restraint and I have 3 minutes till I have to shut down.
Keep on!
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ACCIO FIREBOLT!!!
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mouse2
Registered:
Oct '99
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Date Posted:
2/11/00 11:27am
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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I can't believe that I just found this. Keep posting! This is great!
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Want to know what ANTAR and TLST are? Visit Hell's Chance! http://www.hellschancecantina.com Proud Master to Lola64! I've gone into lurking mode... If you need me feel free to PM me...
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Anonymous
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Date Posted:
2/11/00 1:28pm
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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Thanks for all the comments you guys.
I broke my back three weeks ago and so I've been pretty depressed about life in general. Seeing that people are reading and enjoying this really cheers me up.
So, thanks again.
***************************
Shafts of morning sunlight were just beginning to make their way through the leaves of the forest when Menalu awoke. He sat up and looked around him. For just a moment, this jungle that had held them prisoner seemed a peaceful and beautiful place. The dappled light through the leaves danced across the forest floor, glinting off the dead leaves and the tiny colored flowers that poked through them.
The rock that had been their destination for so long stretched high above them, the top disappearing into the treetops. Menalu stood up and ran his hand along its surface and then pressed his forehead against its cool surface reverentially.
"Please, Rock," he said to it, "take us home safely." The Yebbi teachers had taught him that everything in the world was alive with its own power. He hoped that today the rock was listening.
Obi-Wan lay on his side where he’d dropped down the night before. Menalu had fallen asleep to his coughing and doubted Obi-Wan had slept much. Now he was silent and Menalu felt a chill. He tentatively reached out and shook Obi-Wan’s shoulder, and felt a great relief when he stirred. Menalu saw blood caked around his eyes and knew that Obi-Wan had the dreaded pilgrim’s disease. It was such a fast poison, Menalu wondered how many pilgrims similarly afflicted had perished before even reaching Es-Speeth? Had anyone been cured? Menalu wished he knew the answers.
Though Menalu had grown up surrounded by people, the fact that he’d been the Divine Prince of Enlightenment had always gotten in the way of his truly knowing them. How do you have a simple chat with one who cannot look you in the eyes? He couldn’t look out of the temple on the village side for fear that he’d be recognized and the whole village would stop what they were doing and prostrate themselves on the ground to honor him. When he traveled under the usual circumstances, he was accompanied by a procession of over one hundred people, most of whom were not allowed to speak to him.
With Obi-Wan, things had been different. Menalu was always amazed that Dash-te Dey had tolerated his tricks over the years, but of course Dash-te wasn’t allowed to punish him or show anger. To Obi-Wan, Menalu’s status as temporal leader of his people was irrelevant. They had simply enjoyed each other’s company and looked each other in the eyes and called each other normal names. Menalu had received many gifts over the years from various visiting diplomats; most of them were expensive jewel-encrusted things that he’d found completely uninteresting. His friendship with Obi-Wan was the greatest gift Menalu had ever gotten.
He didn’t want Obi-Wan to die. Not when they were so close to being rescued. He saw in his mind a future in which they visited each other as men. He could see himself as a grown man, wearing the robes of office as the true leader of his people and Obi-Wan, no longer an apprentice, an older and wiser Jedi Knight. They sat and talked in private, calling each other by name and looking each other in the eyes as they did now. He didn’t know if he was seeing the future or just seeing a future he hoped would be. He wasn’t sure if there was a difference between the two.
Menalu took out the same Kalla scarf that he had used the day before and wiped the fresh blood from Obi-Wan’s eyes and nose. He took Obi-Wan’s hand in his own and tried to imagine channeling strength into the body of his friend. He pictured a light, warm with its own energy and goodness flowing from all the living things on his planet. He found that the less he concentrated, the more effortless the flow. It was so easy, he just had to let it happen.
Obi-Wan’s eyes snapped open. "Menalu, what are you doing?" he said. Moments before he’d been awake, but in too much pain and too weak to speak. He’d been touched by Menalu’s gesture of kindness, wiping the blood off his face and wished he could somehow reciprocate. He had realized that he would die here. And it was inevitable that Menalu would die with him. And worst of all, he would die a failure. It had almost been too much to bear.
Then Menalu had taken his hand and done something he’d never felt before. The closest was one time when Qui-Gon was meditating. Obi-Wan hadn’t realized and laid his hand on Qui-Gon’s shoulder. For a moment he felt like he’d touched a live power cell. He hadn’t realized how strong the force flowed through his master and he found himself unable to move. At the same time it showed him how much he still needed to learn. The touch felt strange and forbidden, as though it was too great an intimacy to be shared so early in his apprenticeship. It was transfixing, though, and just when Obi-Wan thought he couldn’t handle it anymore, Qui-Gon had reached up and removed his hand, releasing him.
Suddenly energized, Obi-Wan sat up. "They’re on their way. We don’t have much time," he said.
"I’m so glad you’re feeling better." Menalu said, surprised and pleased by the change in his friend.
"I don’t know what you did, but it helped. Come on, let’s go."
Obi-Wan faced the rock. It was much taller than he’d thought it would be and there were no large handholds that he could see. It would not be easy to climb. He turned to Menalu. "I’ll have to carry you."
Menalu nodded. Using the cloak that had served them so well on the journey, Menalu took his now familiar perch and Obi-Wan began climbing.
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Jane Jinn
Registered:
Jan '00
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Date Posted:
2/11/00 3:39pm
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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You broke your back? How did you do that? Best wishes for a perfect recovery!
This story is great. That was good, how you described Obi-Wan touched Qui-Gon's shoulder during meditation and getting "zapped", so to speak. An excellent idea to have Menalu heal Obi-Wan, too. I was worried that he wouldn't last the night. Keep going! You're doing really well!
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Mostly retired now
Just making the occasional guest appearance
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Anonymous
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Date Posted:
2/11/00 7:44pm
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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I broke my back snowboarding. I'm a professional snowboard instructor and I had a bad crash.
Thanks for the get well wishes. I meant to post this this morning:
********************
The tension was even thicker in the cockpit of the Talusian cruiser than it had been the day before. As they skimmed the treetops once again, Qui-Gon tried to clear his mind and concentrate on the moment. Somewhere behind him Dash-te and Governor Laoul were engaged in a heated discussion. It was about the status of the Divine Prince, no doubt. With Sheniko’s ban from the night before lifted, it was all anyone talked about. Qui-Gon had remained silent, as though discussing it would seal their fate.
In front of them, the rock’s bald gray dome rose from the trees like a monolith. A hush fell over the assembly in the cockpit as the cruiser slowed and circled, looking for the two boys.
"No signs of them," the pilot reported.
"Any evidence of life below?" Qui-Gon asked.
"Yes, but there’s no way we can tell what’s what. It’s teeming with living things down there."
"Then we will have to assume - " Dash-te began and was interrupted by the Governor.
"The Divine Prince is dead. We cannot waste any more time. We must return to Talus City."
Qui-Gon turned and left the cockpit without a word. He walked through the passenger compartment and saw Sheniko’s eyes shining with tears. The cabinet of eight monks sat with their heads bowed, openly weeping. He thought of Sheniko who had cared for the young sovereign with a mother’s love. He knew he should stop and offer some words of sympathy, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. For a moment their eyes met and it was as though Sheniko could read his sorrow. He turned and closed himself in to one of the smaller passenger compartments.
What had he done? He couldn’t think. Had he consigned his apprentice to his death three days ago when he’d sent him away from the battle outside the downed shuttle? Or had Obi-Wan’s death been sealed days before that when Dash-te Dey had lied to the Jedi Council? He felt the ship turn and speed back to Talus. He wished he had said goodbye.
Qui-Gon closed his eyes and leaned against the smooth walls of the compartment. He still felt Obi-Wan’s living presence. But even he had to accept that they had been gone a long time. And it was possible that he was letting his feelings for his apprentice cloud his judgment. He had to face reality. Obi-Wan was dead. Qui-Gon had to say it aloud before he could believe it. And then once he believed it, he wished he hadn’t said it.
The sobs of the monks in the next room seemed to grow louder until Qui-Gon realized they were his own.
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Jedi Gryph Grin
Registered:
Sep '99
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Date Posted:
2/11/00 9:39pm
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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This is getting better and better all the time.
I'm sorry to hear about your accident, all my hopes for a speedy recovery.
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ACCIO FIREBOLT!!!
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Trika_Kenobi
Registered:
Nov '99
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Date Posted:
2/12/00 4:15pm
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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Oh no!!!! You must post right now or else I'll...I'll...
...cry...
That was terrific!
Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
Trika Kenobi
"I roam these threads..."
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Jedi Igraine
Registered:
Dec '99
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Date Posted:
2/13/00 10:42pm
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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Hello Jedillore,
I knew I recognized this story. I remember reading it on one of the discussion lists I believe it was either sith chicks, or starwars chicks fanfic.
It was a great story when I first read it and I am enjoying it the second time around.
Igraine
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Jedi Igraine
Registered:
Dec '99
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Date Posted:
2/13/00 10:47pm
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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Hello Jedillore,
I knew I recognized this story. I remember reading it on one of the discussion lists I believe it was either sith chicks, or starwars chicks fanfic.
It was a great story when I first read it and I am enjoying it the second time around.
Igraine
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Jane Jinn
Registered:
Jan '00
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Date Posted:
2/14/00 8:58am
Subject:
Re: Certain Points of View (a JA adventure story)
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No! Don't leave Obi-Wan and Menalu just hanging there! Surely Qui-Gon must sense that he's still alive--somehow! Oh, do hurry up and post, the suspense is killing me!
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Mostly retired now
Just making the occasional guest appearance
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