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Author	Topic: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
HealerLeona Registered: Jan '00	Date Posted: 5/1/00 8:13pm Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	Nice turn of events. Ready to fight to the death only to find friends, cool.
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jedi_master_gimpy Registered: Jan '00	Date Posted: 5/1/00 9:55pm Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	Wow!! Yes, go Qui-Gon!! That was awesome!! Now my heartbeat can go back to normal! -----signature----- "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." - Hebrews 10:23 "carnivorous salamanders the size of whales!" Your barnacle goes to college.
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Maelisaandii Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/3/00 3:26pm Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	Perhaps it was her survival instincts making a last-ditch attempt to save her. Perhaps it was her training, or the voice of her teacher in her mind. Whatever the voice was, it was the only reason in her chaos. You are the only one who can stop her. The voice said, only you can save your people. Then they are in deep trouble, she thought at that voice. I can’t stop her. I know it. How can I stop her? Another voice echoed through her troubled brain. Qui-Gon? No, he wasn’t even on the ship... It was the voice of herself, her real self. The opposite of anger is forgiveness, it said. What? The roiling darkness laughed. That’s impossible, it taunted her. You are weak. See? She told herself irrationally. I can’t. I don’t know how. The opposite of hate is love, the voice went on inexorably. “I can’t...” You must. Stop using that word. The opposite of fear is compassion. Compassion? Maelisaandii considered. There must be something in her that was capable of compassion. She looked. Still on the surface of her soul was the swirling black of hate. Despair crept up again. The voices... Look. Look further. Look down, through. I’m afraid, said the cowardly self. I hate her, said the angry self. I can’t, said despairing self. But through all those selves, one came through. The one that Qui-Gon had seen in her from the start. The good self- the brave, kind, compassionate self. I will, it said. Gathering up the last shards of resolve, Maelisaandii plunged into the black. Not into, but through. Down and down, past the years of hate, past the angry thoughts, the isolation. Down until she reached the core of her being. And there she saw it. A tiny spark of sorrow. Not for herself, it was the merest flame of selfless compassion. Why couldn’t she love? It cried piteously. Why must she suffer so? The little voice was inadequate to drown out the cacophony of selfishness. Maelisaandii looked at it from above. It was part of her, a part she never knew existed. I’ll save you, she told the voice softly. But with what? Her life flashed before her eyes as an idea presented itself. Not really an idea, but a concept, an image. She saw Qui-Gon. Her master, her teacher, the only person in the galaxy whom she loved. She was filled with gratitude. Qui-Gon had saved her. He was the only one who knew that she could do this. And do it she would, for his sake. So she took her grateful love for her teacher and fed it into her compassion, making the flame grow. It was not easy, but Hapans are master manipulators, and Maelisaandii was still a Hapan. Slowly, ever so slowly, the flame grew. As it grew, Maelisaandii found herself opening to the Force. As she did this, her compassion became stronger, augmented by the light of the Force. It was so easy, she thought, who would have known? The flame grew stronger, and Maelisaandii was filled with a sweet, aching, sorrowful love. Pictures flashed through her mind – of mothers holding their infant daughters, mothers crying at the weddings, a mother’s grief when her child was killed. How unfortunate that the Ta’a Chume would never know this wonderful motherhood! How terrible, Maelisaandii thought for the first time. Suddenly, she saw things from her mother’s perspective. How awful to be so consumed by hate. Maelissandii’s sorrow grew, but that was all right, it was not at all selfish. I’m sorry, Mother. I’m sorry that you will never be happy. I’m sorry... and I forgive you. The admission brought a wonderful relief to the Hapan princess. Once she admitted that, the rest was easy. I love you, Mother! I love you for the woman you could have been! Suddenly, Maelisaandii was so filled with the light of the Force it was almost painful. So this is what Qui-Gon meant. There was only one flaw to her almost perfect joy, and that was to know that the Queen Mother could never know the beauty of light. And suddenly, she knew what she had to do.
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HealerLeona Registered: Jan '00	Date Posted: 5/3/00 7:38pm Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	Great rendering of 'seeing the light'. I really enjoyed seeing the transformation into a 'luminous being'.
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Maelisaandii Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/4/00 11:55am Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	Worry and indecision. Both were deadly to concentration. Both plagued Qui-Gon Jinn on the short hop to Maeli’s ship. It was only a matter of five minutes to travel from the Hapan flagship to the much smaller Escape. For a mind beleaguered with doubt, five minutes was almost an eternity. He’d failed his Padawan. Somehow, he’d missed something. A lesson, an exercise. There was something he hadn’t done. Or, even worse, the council could be right. He recalled the words of Master Windu. She is too old. They do become unteachable when they grow older. There is a reason the Code warns against it. What if he was right? What if, after eight years, he would learn that Maelisaandii simply didn’t have what it took to be a Jedi Knight? Even as one part of his mind entertained that thought, the rest of him cried that it couldn’t be true. He refused to believe that she was incapable. She only needed time and study. Unfortunately, these were two things she couldn’t have. She had a legacy, a destiny to fulfill. It screamed at him whenever she came near. The most painful thing was that there came a point when he could no longer help her. She had to make the choice herself, and the sacrifices that would follow. There was a point when he would have to let her go. When he could no longer help her. That point had come, against his will. Against his efforts to delay it. The time of passage had come, and Qui-Gon was not sure if she was ready. There weren’t words to describe Qui-Gon’s helplessness. In the privacy of the fighter, his shoulders bowed with the weight of responsibility. His Padawan might be lost, and there wasn’t anything he could do. There would be a time when he couldn’t be there to pull her away from darkness. Even worse – he could not shake the feeling that this was somehow his fault. Along with all this came the disappointment. Despite his denial, he knew that to take on responsibility for his Padawan’s actions would be denying her respect for her choices. Even if they are bad ones. For all his experience, Qui-Gon felt completely confused. No one had warned him about this. His mind whirled, trying to figure out what he could have done, so things would be different, until something cut into the circular pattern of his thoughts. A rush of joyous power. It was not coming from him... the Escape loomed in his viewscreen. Maelisaandii. He reached out to her... and found none of the despair that had obscured her resolve earlier. Now there was only a triumphant happiness, a tremendous power, as though someone had opened a portal directly into the Force. I knew it!! I knew she could do it! Qui-Gon’s heart leapt and the weight left him. She did it. She conquered the anger at last. Qui-Gon grinned, almost laughed with relief, knowing that his Padawan had truly grown up. She didn’t need him. Curious, how that knowledge was now a source of joy, where it had caused him only anguish a moment before. The hangar doors opened to accept his fighter, but he barely noticed himself guiding the small craft to its rest. My child has grown up. This time he did laugh, letting go all of the tension that had plagued him for... had it really been only a few days? But there was something else, as the wave of her connection to the Force crested over him, he could feel that it wasn’t quite perfect. There was a sorrow tainting her joy Oh, gods. No... Qui-Gon didn’t even finish the thought. He was halfway to his student’s cabin before the full implications of his thought hit him. She will die. Surely. That thought filled him with dread. It was true that Master and Padawan had a special relationship – father-and-child was the closest thing to describe it. At any rate, Qui-Gon feared for his student as he had never feared for himself. Halting at her quarters, he peered through the open door anxiously. There she was, kneeling on the floor, her back to him. A light seemed to shine from within her, bathing her in a blue aura. ~Maelisaandii~ he thought to her. He needn’t have bothered. Her back straightened and she stood up, feeling his presence. As she turned around, Qui-Gon could see her face was streaked with tears, but she took no notice of them. She looked as through she would burst for joy... and sorrow. It was a paradoxical mix, but it made sense somehow. “My student,” Qui-Gon said aloud, his soft voice betraying none of his fears, “Where are you going?” “You know that already, Master,” she replied with infinite calm. She was not afraid anymore. “It is time to free my House from the dark side.” The Master stared at her silently, for words could not describe the pain he felt. ~I can’t let you go there. You are not ready.~ ~But I am... and you know it. You must not hold me back, Master.~ ~No~ He thought firmly, putting a rather irrational mental foot down. A faintly dismayed expression crossed her face, and for a moment her resolve seemed to wither. So did Qui-Gon’s. How can I keep her from what must be hers? His circular thoughts hindered his concentration, or he would have caught the faint movement from his student’s hand. Suddenly, the muzzle of an oddly-shaped blaster was pointed straight at his chest, a renewed determination on her face. He didn’t even have time to protest. His vision exploded in a swirl of blue and white, and then nothing.
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Maelisaandii Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/6/00 11:56pm Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	“I am truly sorry, Master,” said Maelisaandii as she lowered the Gun of Command. It hurt her to look and the blank expression on Qui-Gon’s face. She did anyway, looking straight into his blue eyes. “Go back to the cockpit,” she said, successfully keeping a quaver out of her tone, “and go to sleep.” He turned sharply, like a tin soldier and marched down the corridor. When he disappeared from her sight, so did all thought of him that might distract her. She clipped her lightsaber on her belt and stalked away from her teacher, her life, and her past
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Maelisaandii Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/6/00 11:58pm Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	The Queen was not happy. No, scratch that. She was downright furious. Lately, the Queen’s fury was something to be avoided at all costs. Captain Grychhta had heard stories about people who brought her bad news, and they left even the toughened soldier quaking in her boots. For the love of all that is good and holy! “Hey, you drew the short stick, Cap,” said her lieutenant. “C’mon, be a good example to us grunts, and get your rear in gear.” Grychhta glared at her subordinate. “Maybe this would be a good time to start delegating my responsibilities, Aleina.” “Oooh, no, ma’am. This is your party. I pity you.” Maybe she could just ignore the sensor readings. At the same time, her military-trained mind was berating her for her cowardice. Or she could delete them. No, that wouldn’t work either. She sighed. There was just no escaping it. “Sithspit, Maeli’Saandii,” she groaned, “why couldn’t you just go away and stay there?” But there she was, the data beeped cheerfully at her that a fighter from the Blissful Escape would be landing in the hangar in less than two minutes. Sith! What the frell did that girl think she could accomplish by coming back? Pallak was dead. The moment that knife had killed the youngest princess, all hope of ever regaining civilization in the Consortium had crumpled in the place guards. And just when life couldn’t possibly get any worse... Well, there was no point in delaying it. Grychhta copied the sensor data onto a datacard and made her way to the throne room. “We’ll bring a broom!” Aleina shouted at her back, “To sweep up the pieces.” The Hapan Captain threw her a murderous glare and shoved open the door. “Your Highness,” she began, dropping her gaze and falling to one knee. She never got a chance to continue. The Queen’s head lifted, her arm flew out, and Grychhta rose into the air, an invisible fist closing around her throat. “What do you want?!” she roared, in a voice not her own. Oh gods, she’s losing it! “My Queen,” she choked, “Our sensors have revealed...” she ran out of breath and began to cough violently. The fist released her, bringing her crashing to the floor in a heap. “What?” the Ta’a Chume hissed. Her eyes were wildly glowing behind her veils. “Your daughter... Maeli’Saandii...” she wheezed, “Is returning. We... have her fighter on our screens.” The Queen growled. “Bring her in. Alive.” There was no need to elaborate on what would happen if Maeli somehow died inbound. “Now leave me.” Grychhta gathered her breath and marched out, not giving in to the impulse to run and hide.
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Maelisaandii Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/8/00 9:56pm Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	The cockpit filled with music, notes floating softly through the recycled air. Its occupant was humming. A sad sort of song, sung with the bittersweet knowledge that she carried. Its composer was from Gallinore, and had spent years wandering in the forests of living gems. She was an eccentric person, but had produced some of the most beautiful music the Consortium had ever known. She had committed suicide at the age of thirty-four, depriving the galaxy of her music forever. This particular song was the last one she wrote, scant days before she ended her own life. It was her most soulful, Maelisaandii thought. The one that spoke to her the most. Maelisaandii continued her humming/singing. It seemed appropriate, somehow. This song held a bit of foreboding, and foreboding was exactly what Maelisaandii was experiencing. She knew she might die today. She had known that for years, that each day might be her last. Some more than others, but today... especially today. “You will step out of the cockpit, please.” The music stopped. She hadn’t even noticed that she had landed in the palace once more. She popped the canopy, gazing passively at the armed guards that were to take her to the Queen. There was reluctance on their faces. She sent her thoughts out, probing them. They didn’t want to take her. They knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Ta’a Chume would kill her. Don’t worry, she thought, knowing they couldn’t hear, It’ll be alright. “Go away,” she whispered, fixing each with her gaze and wrapping them all with a soft blanket of the Force. The Queen wouldn’t kill them. They would leave. Right now. And they did. Good. “Don’t worry,” she murmured at their receding backs, “I’ll take care of her.” She hopped gracefully down from her fighter, giving its flank a final pat. It, and its mother, had served her well. Beginning to hum again, she glided down the corridor. This time the song was different. Faster. Lighter. A song of anticipation. “I’m coming, Mother, coming,” she sang softly to the tune of the music. Music. It was so beautiful. Too bad she had not had time to notice it before. Oh, she’d done the minimum. Taken lessons because it was the fashionable thing to do. Practiced because she had to. Never realizing that a soul could be contained in a few bars, a person in a page of black markings. A story could be told with sounds. If she ever could, she decided she would like to tell her own story with music. Perhaps it was too late. Perhaps Qui-Gon could do it for her when she... well, there was no guarantee about that. The darkness was waiting.
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HealerLeona Registered: Jan '00	Date Posted: 5/9/00 12:56am Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	Holy smokes Maelisaandii, quite the post. I'm glued to my seat in anticipation of more.
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Maelisaandii Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/9/00 10:15am Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	Thanks, HealerLeona! I really appreciate the comments you've been making. ************* “YEEEAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!” The Ta’a Chume, or what was left of her shrieked its frustration to the skies, flailing about in mindless anger. Chairs were thrown and tapestries torn from the walls. They flew around the room like mangled corpses at odd angles. Inside, what was left of Maelisaandii’s mother cowered in silence. The Other knew it couldn’t have her. Gather your strength. Somehow she managed to hide her thoughts from herself. She would need this. This one last time. Closing in upon herself, she waited. Death would come soon, for her and her daughter. As much as she tried to find herself saddened by the realization that Maeli would not live another day, she found that she could only think that today... today was a good day to die. The door opened. The Other didn’t even give Maelisaandii a chance to speak. It screamed in rage and hurled a ball of dark fire at the young Jedi. It swept over her face, singing hair and permanently blacking out her royal-blue vision. “I don’t need my eyes to see you, Daman,” she said, with beatific calm, her voice carrying no pain. There was no pain. The Queen felt her reach out. Felt her dig her intangible fingers into the Ta’a Chume’s soul, trying to pry the black spirit out. She was trying to save her mother. Oh Sith. Just kill me. She panicked. She didn’t want to live. She was tired. Tired of living. I want you to kill me! Distantly, she felt her body shriek and rail. The Other picked Maelisaandii up and bodily threw her against the far wall. A sickening crunch heralded a broken leg. She was wasting time. Damn it, Maelisaandii! ~I will save you~ I don’t want to be saved. She stood up, amazingly, on both legs. Ignoring the pain, she advanced on the Other, extending a Force shield around her body. Again her mind began to pry the Other away from the Queen. No! I won’t let you do this to me! As though the Other was trying to kill Maelisaandii with sound vibrations, it began to scream louder. It screamed because Maelisaandii was succeeding. NOOOOOOOO!! The Ta’a Chume shuddered at the thought of another minute being trapped in this body. With the Other, she had no control over herself. Without it, she would die slowly and painfully, robbed of her beauty in the end. She couldn’t do that. Never. Never. This was it, the moment she been gather all her strength for. Without bothering to think, she tore her body away from the Other. One second. Just one. That was all she needed. She pulled a blaster out of her robes and pointed it straight at her daughter’s heart. The Other realized too late. A red bolt sizzled out of the gun. And the Queen began to laugh. The red bolt moved in slow motion, creeping its way towards the Hapan princess. It never reached her- her Jedi instincts kicked in and drew her lightsaber, not giving its owner a chance to think. It flashed brightly for a moment, sending the deadly blast back. Back to where it belonged. Straight in the Queen’s chest. Leaving a smoldering black hole. And the Queen laughed. I wish I was sorry to leave you, Maeli. But I’m not, not really. I haven’t had much practice being selfless. Good luck, but I’m sure you’ll be joining me soon. And with that thought, she ran to embrace the blissful nothingness that she had dreamed of for so long, leaving her second-born daughter alone with the Other.
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Maelisaandii Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/9/00 11:08am Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	Argh, I know there's a post around here somehweres... Come out come out wherever you are!
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HealerLeona Registered: Jan '00	Date Posted: 5/9/00 12:15pm Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	WOW! With each post you send my heart racing. And now I have a dreadful feeling that Maelisaandii may not survive. Tell me I'm wrong, or better yet, post more.
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Maelisaandii Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/9/00 5:20pm Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	Now that I'm done with skool... this is a tribute to how I feel every morning. *********** Such pretty blue swirls they were, though. He floated in them. Quietly. Calmly. Nothing could disturb him. Not while he was here, wherever here was. It was a little familiar. He often visited this place in his dreams. Only now it was tinted blue. Yes blue like the sky... like his eyes... like... his Padawan’s eyes. Yes. More like her eyes. It was darker. Royal blue. Yes. There was something else this blue reminded him of. Blue swirls. Emerging from... from... what was it? A gun. AHA! That was it. A blue gun. No, the swirls were blue, and the gun was black. And Maelisaandii was holding it. Better. Maelisaandii was holding it... and she was going to leave. No, she left already, probably. I should wake up. Just five more minutes. It was so comfortable in here. In this... cockpit? Qui-Gon swam laboriously towards consciousness. His entire body was screaming at him that it wanted to sleep. It needed to sleep, it was supposed to sleep. But he had a job to do. What that was... he’d think about that when he woke up. A little blearily, he summoned the Force to help him a little and burst through the fog. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. All things aside, that was the most restful sleep he’d had in a long time. Too bad his body was so determined to stay that way. Maelisaandii! The events of the past few hours came crashing back down on him. She’d gone back. He looked at the chronometer. Had he really been asleep for two hours? Force! She’s already there! Trying to keep calm, he set the coordinates into the Escape’s computer. The Battle Dragon could get there much faster than a single starfighter. Cursing himself and his hesitation, he sent the craft into hyperspace.
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HealerLeona Registered: Jan '00	Date Posted: 5/9/00 5:47pm Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	Hurry Qui-Gon before your last encounter with her turns into a tragic death scene. Don't want that to happen.
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Maelisaandii Registered: Feb '00	Date Posted: 5/10/00 12:53pm Subject: Re: Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)
	One didn’t need to see evil in order to know it was there. Maelisaandii knew she would probably never see anything again. But, somehow, that fact failed to register. She concentrated at the task at hand, impossible though it was. Well, it was easier than before. Now that the Other had no host to take energy from, it would only be a matter of time before its energy reserves ran out and it went back into its roaming, dormant state. All she needed to do was stay alive until then. Easier said than done. The evil spirit no longer had any ambitions of trying to take her. It knew she was too strong. Hah. In this, she had triumphed. Death was not so bad. At least she hadn’t killed herself. Although... I’ll never be a Jedi. That thought did trouble her. It was her ambition, what she had dedicated her whole entire life to. Ah well. Life was full of disappointments, unfulfilled dreams. Death even more so. But, though the Other knew it could have her soul, it could still kill that which it had wanted. Her body. And try it did. She felt herself rise into the air, even as she tried to use the Force against it. It had had, she realized, a lot of practice. And time to think about just how exactly to kill someone, in the most painful way. And then she was flying into the air, unable to stop herself, unable to even see where she was going. Until she hit. Her shoulder cracked painfully against the wall, setting nerve centers afire. As if they weren’t already. But, somehow, the Force gave her strength to bear it. For now. It tried to lift her again. I’m staying. Right. Here. She refused to move. For a moment she could feel it straining against her, and then gaining power. Until she couldn’t hold on anymore and flew headlong towards the ceiling. More of its dark fire surrounded her on the way up, and though she couldn’t see the burns, she knew that her skin was being burned away. She was unconscious before she hit the ground again.
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