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Topic:
The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): *New post by HaiGan*
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mouse2
Registered:
Oct '99
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Date Posted:
2/3/03 1:28pm
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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Way to go Qui-Gon! Just dig yourself in deeper. Next time don't mention the relatives after saying; "Sorry but you can't keep your pathetic lifeform. But I'm going to go out and poick up another!"
I have a really good feeling about Kryztan and Kurtas. I think that Kryz will get the help that he really needs to get better.
Awesome posts Jem! 
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Jemmiah
Registered:
Mar '00
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Date Posted:
2/3/03 2:01pm
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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Sorry that it's kind of short-ish.
*********
WEEK FOUR, DAY TWO, HOUR TWENTY THREE:
Kryztan had spent the following few hours catching up on some sleep: not half-sleep or in some semi meditative state, but proper, replenishing rest that had brought him some peace of mind. He couldn't remember the last time he'd truly experienced that feeling.
He was reluctant to leave Dex behind because he had been such a part of his life, and because he cared deeply for the man, but if (as everyone was saying) he could only move on by putting thoughts of his former master behind him, he would have find the will to do so. Kurtas had been kind and considerate enough to recognize that it must in some respects feel like a final betrayal of the trust Dex had placed in him, and had allowed him the space and time to get used to the idea, for which he was grateful. Perhaps, Kryztan thought wryly to himself, he and Kurtas would get along well enough.
There was no question that he was grateful to Kurtas, for whilst the council could suggest until they were blue in the face they couldn't force a knight to take on a padawan, especially one that came with so much emotional baggage. He must have wanted to do this thing, then: maybe as much out of loyalty for Dex as to him.
The same could be said in reverse to an extent, for he had never really gotten to know Kurtas well. Always on missions, rarely on Coruscant or at the temple, befriending Dex's former padawan had been virtually impossible. Besides, on the occasions he had met him, Kurtas had always seemed polite but never particularly friendly. Maybe he had misjudged the man?
//I'm not afraid of starting again…well, maybe a little. I'm looking forward to it in so many ways.// Kryztan reasoned with himself, staring up at the ceiling as he lay on his back. //But there are so many unresolved matters that I will carry with me to K'noptrix that I wish I could leave behind…//
Perhaps he could speak to Kurtas about them? Or should that be 'Master Kurtas?'
//Now THAT will take some getting used to!// Kryztan yawned, blinking the sleep from his eyes. //Master Kurtas Kizzen…it doesn't quite have the same ring to it as Master Dex Berlingside. Maybe that's just my preconceptions…I should give it a chance. The strangeness will soon wear off, I'm sure.//
But one paramount problem remained; it felt in many respects as if he had two masters and not one! He had quickly made up his mind to the fact that he was the padawan of Kurtas Kizzen…it had taken little adjustment on his part, perhaps in his desire to start afresh but still, it was difficult to leave his former master behind him without saying farewell and closing off that chapter in his life. It felt like a dull ache inside his chest…
The temptation to reach out to the man through the force and touch his mind was overwhelming, but Kryztan put up the shields again to stop himself, knowing that it was wrong…very wrong. The healers had told him that he was to see Dex no more, that contact was out of the question. What was he to gain by doing so now? And, worst of all, what if Dex pushed him away? Could he bear it?
Now he knew what it was like to be vilified and treated like filth on a boot sole, and found himself with first hand experience of the exact thing he had so callously thrown in Jemmiah's face at the cantina crawl. Worthless? Contaminated? He was every bit as tainted as she was, more so because he had been the cause of his own undoing, whilst she had no choice as to how she'd been forced to survive as a child.
He tried to steady his ragged, agitated breath and pushed all recriminations from his thoughts just as Kurtas had advised him to do. Sitting and stewing on his misdeeds would achieve little except render the bonding process between himself and Kurtas that little more difficult.
//Relax…relax Kryz.// Harkley instructed himself. //Just don't worry about it. Stay focussed and everything will be fine.//
Even with his eyes closed the force alerted him to the presence of not one but two persons standing just outside the entrance to the room: one of them being Kurtas Kizzen. Well, that was hardly a surprise, Kryztan pondered, but the other individual's unheralded appearance had come as a total surprise to him. Maybe it was because Mace Windu was such a prominent member of the council, or that his arrival always seemed to portent some momentous decision, that Kryztan began to get a final attack of nerves.
What could he want now? Had the council maybe changed their mind and decided he was untrainable? Was it perhaps all a big mistake?
Mace entered the room without much preamble, aware that Kryztan was now awake and alert to his presence, and stood respectfully at the foot of the young man's bed so as to give him some space. Involuntarily Kryztan gulped, hoping he didn't appear too worried. Whatever Mace had to say - whatever disappointment he had in store - he would take it like a true jedi.
"Your ship is ready to leave." Mace smiled tightly. "I'm to escort you down to the landing pad as soon as you and Knight Kizzen are ready."
"So soon?" Kryztan felt a strange mixture of trepidation and excitement now that the waiting was almost at an end. He'd done nothing but dream of this moment, wishing himself away from everyone's sight. Now that the moment had arrived he felt an alarming amount of fear suddenly begin to build inside him. This wasn't just a trip away. This was for a good, long time. Possibly he would never make it back to Coruscant, the only place he had ever known as home. Except of course that it wasn't really a home anymore. He'd seen to that…
"Yes. I'm afraid so. Knight Kizzen says that you are packed and ready. Is this so?" Mace looked around the apartment for anything that might have been missed but saw nothing except for a near empty room with uncluttered tables and near blank walls. When Kryztan shook his head, Mace asked what Kryztan found on the face of it to be a rather odd question:
"There is nothing then that you need? Nothing you require at all before you set out?"
Harkley blinked, uncertain of what he should say. There were many things he would like to have asked for but he knew that he did not have the right to do so. Besides, what would he be doing but delaying the inevitable? No, better to do as Kurtas said and keep looking forward and not back, no matter how difficult it was for him.
Kryztan gave a weak half-smile and shook his head.
"No? I'm surprised at you." Mace flexed a seemingly rigid eyebrow, quirking it upwards into a querying arch. "I thought that you wished to say goodbye to Master Berlingside before you departed, but if that is not the case then we can leave immediately…"
The padawan sprang from the bed as if he were on fire.
"See him?" Kryztan insisted, hardly daring to hope. "Really? But you said…the council said that…I mean the soul healers…"
"I'm putting my head on the block here." Mace admitted with a sobering glance towards Kurtas. "The council has not authorised this. I understand and to an extent agree with their decision regarding you, even although I was heartily sorry that Master Berlingside was not allowed to continue in his training of you. However," Windu folded his arms across his chest, "I believe that a person heals best when the past is laid out in the open and faced, not swept under the carpet. Knight Kizzen has expressed his own regret at not being able to see his master one last time and I agree that it is a pity, for as you may or may not be aware, Master Berlingside is sedated and cannot make sense of anything right now."
"But I can still wish him goodbye?" Kryztan held his breath.
It was more than he had hoped for. A chance to wish his old master farewell, without running the risk of being pushed away, thrown out or rejected at first sight. There would be no deep or meaningful conversations, and no long and tearful speeches, just the truth. That was all there was left now that the layers of deceit and lies had finally been peeled away…
"You can follow me down to the infirmary." Mace seemed suddenly subdued; as if realising he was running a very foolish risk. "But I must ask you to be mindful at all times. I wouldn't want you to run into anyone like Obi-Wan, for example, or Master Sovalla. That would prove unnecessarily stressful - for everyone."
Kryztan held his eye for a moment, taking his meaning. It wasn't just the likes of Obi-Wan that would suffer should they accidentally come face to face, for if they did then Kryztan could expect to find An-Paj extracting Kenobi's fist from his mouth. Not that he blamed him, but better surely to leave without kicking up any further dust or add yet another black mark to his tarnished name.
"Come then." Mace beckoned the pair of them to follow him out of the room. "Leave whatever luggage you are taking in the hallway. Master Terrulah's padawan will carry them down to the landing pad." He looked on Kryztan for a moment, seeing for himself the toll that the darkside had taken on the padawan. His eyes were dulled and resigned, save for the small unmistakable flicker of hope that even Kryztan had been unable to hide on hearing Mace's news. Instead of a heart - there was a void; an empty space filled with his own broken dreams. Much as could be same for Dex, no doubt…
"It will seem strange to leave this place." Kryztan admitted, walking slowly after Kurtas.
"How so?"
"Because," the padawan continued, "It always felt like it was meant to be a prison. Then it became my sanctuary. And now that we are leaving, there's nowhere to hide anymore." He surveyed the room one final time before closing the door behind him, feeling suddenly weighted down by dread, anxiety and a not insubstantial amount of nervousness. This was it, then…the end of his old life and the beginning of a new one. Struggling valiantly against the tide of nausea that crawled upwards from the pit of his stomach, Kryztan made himself stop and take a good, deep breath…
"Are you okay?" Kurtas stood beside his shoulder, ready to offer his help if it was needed.
Harkley looked squarely down the corridor and focused his attention on the patiently waiting figure of Mace Windu. He was going to say goodbye to Dex, and that was all that mattered.
"I am now." He nodded.
"Good, " Kurtas clapped him lightly on the shoulder, steering him forward, encouraging him with a smile. "Then let us say farewell - to OUR master…"
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mouse2
Registered:
Oct '99
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Date Posted:
2/3/03 2:38pm
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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Wow Mace! Your heart isn't a block of ice! I'm quite impressed. Very compassionate of you.
Maybe giving Kryztan and kurtas a chance to say their good-bye's will do them more good then we think.
A wonderful post Jem! 
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Want to know what ANTAR and TLST are? Visit Hell's Chance! http://www.hellschancecantina.com Proud Master to Lola64! I've gone into lurking mode... If you need me feel free to PM me...
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RogueJaina
Registered:
Jul '01
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Date Posted:
2/4/03 12:59pm
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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Way to do the right thing, Mace! I think that this can be both healing and bonding for Kryztan and Kurtas. That was a really well-written post, I wasn't expecting Mace to allow that!
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Jemmiah
Registered:
Mar '00
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Date Posted:
2/4/03 3:18pm
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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WEEK FOUR, DAY TWO, HOUR TWENTY THREE:
*************
Mace couldn't help but dislike the notion of sneaking around the temple in which he so normally felt right at ease.
//Criminals.// Windu sighed, listening to his robe hitting the tops of his boots as he strode powerfully out of the turbo lift, followed at a respectful distance by his slightly more conspicuous companions. //That's how it feels. Like we are doing something wrong, and what is worse still carry on regardless…//
Which was, in a roundabout way, more or less the truth when you looked at it. Yoda had not sanctioned this little foray into healer territory, neither had An-Paj. Both in their own way were totally dedicated to making sure Kryztan's recovery proceeded without any obstacles, which made arguing against them and justifying his present course of action that little bit more difficult. It was easy for Mace to conjure the stern faces of his fellow council members within his head, feeling their accusing looks rest firmly upon him whilst he sat and attempted to explain exactly why he was content to steer his present course…
There was little problem explaining his own presence away, or indeed that of Kurtas Kizzen. What anyone would say were they to happen on Kryztan, walking in his new master's shadow with his eyes firmly fixed to the ground as if searching for missing credits, Mace did not want to think. If they were to run into Obi-Wan or Evla the sparks would begin to fly for certain. With Qui-Gon…again, it was hard to tell what he might be thinking, except that he had spoken to Kryztan after his confession. Perhaps the desire to knock him clean into orbit no longer burned within the master; certainly Mace hoped so. Jinn was a reasonable man, even when unreasonable things had befallen him and this was the real reason Mace so admired his friend.
Of course Mace had attempted to reason with himself that he was correct in his actions…except the closer they crept to Dex's room the less he actually believed it, especially as Jemmiah's room was exactly opposite.
//A quick check…// Mace attempted to screen his thoughts lest Evla pick up on them. //And if all is well then we can proceed.//
Yes, Evla was there. She seemed drowsy…almost asleep. Vaguely Mace recollected An-Paj saying that she'd been granted permission to sleep in the same room as Jemmiah, which explained her presence so late in the evening. Of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon there was neither sight nor sound. Good, Mace thought…that might just make their task that little bit easier.
He nodded over to Dex's room, ushering Kryztan ahead. "He's in that one." Mace guided him, pointing the way. "Go ahead. I'll give you and Kurtas some privacy and wait outside."
"Thank you." Kurtas bowed his head in gratitude for Mace's sensitivity to their situation. "Thank you for doing this…for both of us."
"You can thank me by showing me I was not misguided in my convictions." Mace replied with a melancholy smile. "I'd like to think that some good might come out of this tragedy. Go on…say your farewells. I'll stay here until you are ready."
Kurtas hastened towards the door but noticed that Kryztan appeared to have momentarily frozen to the ground. What was more his eyes were not focused on the room of his ex-master but rather that of the one behind him, glancing at it over his shoulder. Kurtas instinctively tensed and held his breath, knowing exactly where the padawan's thought lay at that moment. Was that how it always would be, he wondered bleakly? Would Kryztan never get over what he had done to Jemmiah? Or perhaps more unpleasantly he still harboured some deeper, less agreeable feelings…
Kurtas brought his mind back into focus. Now was not the time to get the jitters. "Kryztan." He spoke sharply, using his name as if it were a command and snapping the young man from his stupor.
The apprentice managed to pull himself together enough to stammer out a coherent reply of sorts.
"I…I'm sorry. It's just that I…it doesn't matter." Harkley turned his back on the Corellian's room and galvanised himself into coherent action, ignoring a curious look from Mace Windu. "My apologies, master. Let's go in."
It wasn't a recovery as such because Kryztan did not attempt to hide the fact that he'd been thrown by Jemmiah's presence in the other room, or how it had affected him. The shock had been absolute even although he had known her to be in the infirmary. Right on the doorstep of his former master? What had the healers been thinking? It was almost as if she had been put there as some kind of deterrent! It was mighty clever if true, for had Kurtas or Mace Windu not been with him at that moment, Kryztan truly believed he would have turned on his heel and fled as quickly as he was was able.
Not that it mattered now, for he was where he needed to be. Yet all the while at the back of Kryztan's mind he could sense her…feel that Jemmiah was nearby. It felt disrespectful to be anywhere near her: like dancing on top of someone's coffin…
He'd allowed his mind to wander again, that much was clear from the concerned face of Kurtas Kizzen peering anxiously in his direction, determined to make sure he was alright before they continued into the room. He wasn't exactly alright; how could he be with her lying there not forty feet away, battling the sickness which he had inflicted upon her.
//Forgive me.// He sent to her. //I am sorry…I know you cannot hear me but forgive me anyway.//
If Kurtas had heard his inner thoughts he gave no sign of it. Instead the knight stepped into the room, not bothering to look about him this time for there was nothing new to be seen, save for the unconscious figure of his master lying corpse-like upon the bed. Kryztan, he noted warmly, took time to take in the room and the surroundings, almost as if he were checking that everything was up to a standard befitting his beloved Dex Berlingside! If, as some people no doubt thought, there was no humanity or compassion left within Kryztan they were sadly mistaken.
"Is it warm enough in here?" Harkley gazed up at the ceiling, wondering if the lighting were too bright. "I'm not sure that it is…"
"Relax." Kurtas instructed, permitting himself a lop-sided grin. "Master D's faced much worse than a cold, chilly room. A man who can survive his own execution shouldn't need to bother about a trifling amount of cold."
Knight Kizzen looked fondly on the sleeping face; so much more relaxed in repose then it had been in recent days, all cares and worries blotted away by a concoction of drugs and powerful force suggestion. Even so, Dex somehow had the air of a person much troubled and wearied by physical and mental strain. The man's face was slack, but something about the expression around his lips spoke of bitterness and prim disappointment. The roguish, jeering smile Kurtas had long associated with Dex Berlingside was nowhere in plain view.
"I wish I could speak to him." Kurtas admitted with a reluctant shake of the head. "Typical, really. We go to say goodbye and he's lying there like a piece of lumber! Maybe it's his final idea of a joke, what do you think Kryztan?"
Kryztan finally allowed himself to look at Dex. "Perhaps." He whispered. "He always likes to have the last laugh."
Although how funny the situation was remained debatable, Kryztan reminded himself.
"Might be some time before we get to see him again, I suppose." Kurtas admitted, regarding his master with fondness. "We've been through some right old times, you know. Had some hair-raising adventures along the way…oh," he added cautiously, "don't mention that last bit to Yoda. You probably know by now his opinion of adventure seekers."
"He had mentioned it a few times." Kryztan remarked in an absent fashion, moving closer to the bed. Poor Dex…his poor, poor master. Had he really brought him so low? Through the force Kryztan could feel the man's fatigue, an inner weariness so at odds with the Corellian's cheerful, boundless energy. "I know what you mean. We've seen our share of dangerous adversaries in our time. It's only now that I begin to realise that the greatest enemy is sometimes the one you never see. The one inside your head…"
"It's never too late to lean these things." Smiled the knight, pulling the chair back so as to let Kryztan in to stand beside the top of Dex's bed. "I don't think he can hear you say it, but I'm sure he would be proud of you all the same for admitting it. Speak to him if you wish."
"I don't know what to say." Kryztan mumbled, looking foolishly down at his feet. "All this time I've been rehearsing what I might say if I ever got the chance…practised over and over exactly how I might best say sorry for all the trouble I have caused. Now I have that chance," Kryztan held up his hands in despair, "and the words won't come to me!"
Kurtas nodded, understanding. "He doesn't need to hear the words. I'm sure on some level he can feel your sincerity. That is surely the most important thing…uh-uh, no tears!" Kizzen placed a steadying arm around the padawan's shoulder. "You don't want him to sense you are miserable, do you? Because then he will regard me as a complete failure in not doing my job properly!"
A single tear fell down Kryztan's cheek: just one. Just who or what it was for, Kryztan couldn't say anymore. How did you say goodbye to someone who had been in many ways like a father? He knew that Kurtas, who had no less a connection to Dex, was feeling the same emotional struggle yet the older man controlled his feelings with seeming effortlessness. A true jedi was prepared to let go of his feelings. A true jedi moved on from the past and set his head to face the horizon. Life by its nature was transient; things and people came and went. Now, finally, it was time to say goodbye to the one person who would never truly abandon him: not in his heart.
"I don't know what to say or think." Kryztan admitted as he looked at Dex one final time, expelling his sadness with his breath. "And I don't know how to find the words to apologise for all the lives that I have ruined…especially yours. But one day I'm sure the force will see fit to let our paths cross again. And I promise you; I am going to work hard…harder than I ever have in my life. I will become a knight, master." He bent his head low, weighting his words with meaning. "And I will make you proud of me."
Kurtas stood solemnly, listening to his padawan's vows: ones he felt with conviction that Kryztan not only meant but would strive to keep. Perhaps then, that was the best farewell present he could bestow on one who had deserved so little of the misfortune that had come his way.
"It's time to go." He said.
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The new improved Hell's Chance Cantina!
Home for many assorted JA fanfic stories!:
http://www.hellschancecantina.com/index.html
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mouse2
Registered:
Oct '99
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Date Posted:
2/5/03 4:51am
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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Very touching! I'm glad that Kurtas and Kryztan were given thair chance to say good-bye. There were so many things that Kryztan felt so much remose over, from Jemmiah's condition to having to leave the one person that always stuck by him.
A fabulous post Jem!
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Want to know what ANTAR and TLST are? Visit Hell's Chance! http://www.hellschancecantina.com Proud Master to Lola64! I've gone into lurking mode... If you need me feel free to PM me...
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RogueJaina
Registered:
Jul '01
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Date Posted:
2/5/03 11:11pm
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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I'm not gonna cry... I'm not gonna cry... 
You actually brought tears to my eyes. Really.
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Please welcome our family's newest (future) SW freak:
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8 lbs., 2 oz 20 1/2 inches and very healthy and beautiful!
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Jemmiah
Registered:
Mar '00
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Date Posted:
2/6/03 1:38pm
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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WEEK FOUR, DAY THREE, HOUR ONE:
***********
"He'll be alright, won't he?" Kryztan asked tentatively, hardly daring to look Kurtas in the eye. He was leaving so much behind him; it hadn't really struck him how much until that moment. His old life…the few friends he still had (even if he could count those on one hand). The man he had once called master, lying in the room that he and Kurtas had left barely five minutes before would soon be gone from his life save for memories. Mostly happy memories he had to admit…the sort he had to carry with him into the future. There would be no room for darkness on K'noptrix: he had meant every word he had spoken to Dex, even if the man hadn't been able to hear him.
Kurtas leaned against the vending machine in the waiting room, striking a casual pose.
"Don't you worry about him." The knight smiled, making light of the situation just as his master might have. "He's in his element. Lying in an infirmary bed with lady healers running about after him, pandering to his every whim? It might take some time, but I assure you he'll do okay. And he's not friendless, Kryztan. Far from it. There will always be people looking out for him. Whether he lets them or not is another matter!" Kurtas finished up by grinning.
"I suppose." Harkley agreed, darting anxious looks back in the direction of Jemmiah's room. He really disliked being so close in vicinity to the Corellian, even although he knew that as a non-force sensitive individual Jemmiah would remain oblivious to his presence. Knowing that she was in there because of what he had done was bad enough, but he felt almost as if his presence was adding insult to injury.
Kurtas was quick to pick up on what he was feeling and turned questioning eyes on the young man.
"Do you still have feelings for her, is that it?" He wondered, witnessing the flinch that Kryztan so desperately tried to hide. "It's not that I want to pry as such - I'm not a nosy man by nature, but if there were something I should know that might somehow influence my training of you I feel as if you should tell me…"
He ended on a hopeful note even although he himself had little real faith that Kryztan would be able to talk his feelings through. What of course the knight should have said, for it would have been nearer the truth, was that he wasn't nosy enough to say anything to Kryztan's face yet was inside desperate to know what had happened to make a sober young man like Harkley go off the rails in such a disastrous way. He'd read the soul healer's reports, yes…but there was little within that had really expressed Kryztan's inner feelings. That was only something that could come from the padawan himself.
"No." Kryztan mumbled, his lips hardly moving. "No, I don't have feelings for Jemmiah any more; not the kind you mean...only regret. I sometimes wish, back in the old days when we were all friends, that I could jump forward in time to where I find myself now. Then maybe I might stop myself from doing what I did."
"You didn't like the fact she chose somebody else over you?" Kurtas enquired, daring to push the conversation deeper into unknown territory. "Is that it?"
The padawan considered then shook his head.
"I thought maybe that was the reason to begin with, but now," his face contorted as he tried to recollect the circumstances that had brought him so low, "I think a lot of it was to do with me. By that I mean I felt anger but it was directed inwards at myself, not her…not to begin with. If I'd mustered the courage to ask her out before Obi-Wan had then I felt certain she would have said yes…but I dallied and procrastinated. Kylenn encouraged me to ask her out," Kryztan smiled, "she said we'd make a fun couple. But I kept reminding myself of all the objections there would be. I knew Master Jinn would not approve for a start," Harkley shrugged, "because he goes out of his way to protect her."
"You did have a bit of a reputation." Kurtas reminded him, not wishing to condemn the young man but easily able to understand Qui-Gon's point of view. "And he wouldn't want his friendship with Master D to be compromised in any way."
"I know this," admitted Kryztan, "but I found my heart was set on it, I can't say why. Maybe it was the old adage that forbidden fruit tastes sweetest. Maybe it was because I liked a challenge and relished the difficulties thrown in my path. In the end," An uncomfortable looking Kryztan forced himself to admit, "it became an obsession: no longer Jemmiah as a person but as a possession. Maybe I would have prized her more for having been the object of Jay Abran or Zac V'Aladee's affections. Not very gentlemanly, I confess. But it was how I felt at the time, and when I found that someone had beaten me to - someone I'd considered a friend - it I began to get so…"
"What?" Kurtas pressed.
"Jealous. I was jealous…I've never known such darkness in my entire life. The feeling repulsed me but it kept me going…it fuelled the fire inside me. I couldn't stop it!" Kryztan ground his teeth tightly against each other, reliving the sensation all over again. "And whilst neither Obi-Wan or Jemmiah herself knew of my interest in her what they did still felt like a betrayal…"
Kurtas could, at least on some level, understand the feelings that Kryztan had experienced even although a trained padawan of Harkley's age should be adept enough to deal with such emotions. The fact that he had not done so showed precisely how much of a hold the darkside had taken of the apprentice.
"I guess the anger I felt at myself was turned outward against everyone else." Kryztan continued to reflect in morose fashion. "I started justifying my failure by blaming Obi-Wan. Then in turn I began to blame her…I felt I could change her mind if I could just get her to see that she was with the wrong person. Unfortunately I pushed things too far at the cantina crawl. I'm assuming you heard all about that?" Kryztan didn't wait to hear an answer. "I was so mad at them both that I decided to goad her…hurt her. Anything was better than being ignored. I'd followed her for three whole months without her noticing. I was sick of being ignored."
"I think you got your wish!" Kurtas arched his eyebrow ironically.
"I wanted to explain everything to her before we left for K'noptrix," Kryztan noticed his new master about to step in with words of caution, "but I know it wouldn't do any good: far from it in fact. Even saying sorry would feel inadequate, knowing that nothing I can say or do will make amends for what I did. That," Kryztan shuddered, huddling into himself, "is why I hate the idea of being so near to her right now."
Kurtas looked him up and down appraisingly. "And because you are afraid?"
"Afraid?"
"Incase the darkside reaches out to you again? Those voices that were so persistent when they told you to carry out those horrible deeds against a once valued friend? You're scared they will come back, aren't you?" Kurtas nodded perceptively. "And you think that the closer to Jemmiah you get the more likely it is that you'll be attacked again."
Kryztan chose not to answer, instead looking disinterestedly about him. "Where has Master Windu got to?" He asked impatiently, feeling a further onslaught of nerves assail him. "He said he'd wait outside, not wander away…"
"Relax." Kurtas smiled benevolently at his jumpy looking apprentice. "He won't be long. Maybe he's contacting the pilot of our craft to ask for some more time before we leave."
"Yeah," Kryztan chewed uncertainly against his lip, "maybe you are right. I just don't like sitting about here, you know? I feel like a duck out of water waiting to get my feathers shot off."
Kurtas looked a round the waiting room. It was comfortable, clean and the vending machines actually produced a substance that vaguely resembled Caf. It was difficult to see where else they could remain until Mace got back from whatever errand he was on. Waiting in Dex's room was even more hazardous than sitting out of plain sight.
"I'm glad you felt able to talk to me." Kurtas ventured after a while, gently blowing on his dark Caf to cool the liquid in the cup. "Thank you for feeling able to trust me. Can't have been easy to say all that."
"No more than it must have been for you to hear it." Kryztan replied matter-of-factly. "I wish I could have explained it all to my ma- I mean, to Master Berlingside. I feel that he needs an explanation…"
If only Simeon delivered the message, he would have that explanation! And whilst Kryztan had personal faith in Simeon's compassion he wondered if common sense would outweigh his request for help. There was nothing left for him to do except hope, and pray that Simeon would not let him down. Whilst he mulled over his problem, Kryztan heard the sound of hard soles against the floor outside the room and allowed himself to relax, certain that it must be Master Windu returning at last.
Too late he realised his mistake -
"I'm sure that given time Master Berlingside will begin to…" Kurtas began, looking up as the interloper walked slowly into the little waiting room, cup in hand. It became quite easy to see why Kryztan had frozen to the spot, for the person was most assuredly NOT Mace Windu…
The individual stared back at Kryztan in disbelief and for a moment, whilst still unable to accept, stood open mouthed and incredulous as if all rational thought had ceased to exist. Then finally there followed acknowledgement; the jaw set in defiance of the facts, eyes becoming sharp pointed barbs all aimed straight in Kryztan's direction.
Harkley's breath caught in his throat as the deadly cold voice assailed him, each word laced with venom.
"I hoped we'd meet," the sound burned through Kryztan's skull, "one final time."
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mouse2
Registered:
Oct '99
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Date Posted:
2/6/03 1:48pm
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Sithly cliffhanger! Definately not Mace, hmmmm.... Great! Now I'll be thinking about this all night and be hitting refresh nice and early tomorrow! 
But at least Jem doesn't have tomorrow off! Of course knowing Jem she'll come back saying; "Oops! I have to go out tomorrow night for a birthday/pub crawl, no post sorry!" 
Then again maybe the best thing would to just keep my mouth shut!
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Want to know what ANTAR and TLST are? Visit Hell's Chance! http://www.hellschancecantina.com Proud Master to Lola64! I've gone into lurking mode... If you need me feel free to PM me...
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PaddyJuan
Registered:
Nov '02
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Date Posted:
2/7/03 5:34am
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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the boards finally let me in here.
uh oh. obi? unhappy obi?
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Smile, it makes everyone wonder what you are up to? ~~~ __((O.O))__ ~~~ Panther's Cub - http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=10596413 ~~ Panther's Cub is complete now ~~ others in bio
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Healer_Leona
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
2/7/03 7:06am
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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I know I'm really behind now... days behind. My only excuse is that work has been terrible
Wow... I'm shocked and quite impressed that Mace would ignore his the Council's edict that Kryztan was not allowed to see his Master again. That's just so sweet of him. (hmmm, seems not an adjective often used for Mace huh?? ) Only thing is how will no one notice when Jemmy's room is just across the hall???
Oh my... right from Kryztan's thoughts of Jemmy on through to the end I had tears in my eyes. Tried to blink them away as Kurtas midly chided his Padawan 'no tears'. That was beautiful Jemmy. Makes me want to hurry and fast forward to that encounter Kryz is so sure of where he meets Dex again. L:D
No, no no!!! I'd so hoped that Kryz and Kurtas would depart the infirmary without anyone finging them. I'd been greatly relieve to hear Kryz confess so much to Kurtas... a very good sign for their fledgling relationship and now.... who is that??. I can't see it being Qui-Gon as I believe the Master past the venous stage with Harkley and I sincerely hope it's not Obi-Wan. deadly cold voice assailed him, each word laced with venom. --I'd depsair to think Obi-Wan harboring such hate.
Fantabulous posts Jemmy and Mouse you're right about being happy that it's only Friday!!!!
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I'm older now
and still running against the wind
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Jemmiah
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Mar '00
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Date Posted:
2/7/03 4:02pm
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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Well, as it's Friday I thought I'd take the night off and go on a pub crawl and maybe I'd take off tomorrow as well...only joking, lol!
Say goodbye to Kryztan...
For the time being!
*****
WEEK FOUR, DAY THREE HOUR ONE:
Instantly Kurtas put himself between both protagonists, hoping his presence would be enough to deter any altercations of a verbal or physical nature. Not that Kryztan looked as if he were spoiling for an argument; he was too busy trying to make himself look as small and unnoticeable as he possibly could. It was, Kurtas reflected, a bit late in the day for that…
"We don't want any trouble." Kurtas attempted to cool things down. "Please don't say or do anything you might regret later."
Evla however wasn't even looking in his direction. She could hear everything that the knight said but her eyes were firmly fixed at a point just behind his shoulder where Kryztan sat wretchedly with his back pressed as far into the chair as would go. Kurtas knew he was not the target, but no doubt if he made an attempt to stick up for his padawan he would end up drawing most of the heat. Then again, what else were masters for but to support their apprentice?
"Evla," Kurtas continued, "we're just waiting here, that's all. As soon as Master Windu returns we'll be gone for good."
"I cannot believe," Evla's words were like chipped ice, "that a respected and intelligent man like Master Windu would even contemplate allowing Kryztan anywhere in the infirmary, especially anywhere near Jemmiah! What sort of fool do you take me for?"
Kurtas willed himself to be silent, and thought desperately for a moment. If he mentioned Mace any further there was a very real chance that Evla would go to the council and land the man in very hot water indeed. Possibly, considering he had gone behind the council's back in order to do what he had hoped was the right thing, he could very well be dismissed from serving on the council. A bitter blow indeed for a talented and capable jedi such as Mace!
"I didn't," Kurtas replied cagily, lessening the gap between himself and the crèche master by taking one step forward, "take you for anything, Master Sovalla. All I ask is that you listen to what I have to say…"
Evla deftly side-stepped Kurtas although she made no attempt to approach Kryztan. Looking on him as he stood there shrinking into the corners like a scared and lost initiate, she felt so many mixed emotions: distrust, regret, revulsion, confusion…and that was just the tip of the ice berg. She could remember looking after Kryztan when he'd first arrived from Alderaan as an infant. How could any of them have foreseen how things would turn out some twenty or so years down the road? The haunting memory of a little boy reaching out willingly to her with arms outstretched, always smiling and happy, did not help ease the sight of the terrified padawan hiding behind his new master. Evla could remember many things about the child: his slightly tousled gold hair, his skin warm and glowing like that of a papyri fruit, even down to the tiny velvety hairs of his cheeks. He'd seemed such a carefree individual even whilst in the crèche, so what had made him become such a monster? Or was he truly as much a victim as Jemmiah was, like Qui-Gon had suggested?
//I want to hit him, but I cannot.// Evla continued to stare at Kryztan in an almost trance-like state. //I want to shake the life out of him for what he has done…but I dare not. I want to hate him for murdering the lovely, precious memories I had of him as a child; they're as good as ruined for me now. But if Jemmiah cannot bring herself to do these things then neither can I. And force curse him, when I see him cringe and shrink into the darkness I almost want to help him…//
"I haven't come to start a war." She lowered her voice to a dry whisper. "Believe it or not I came to get a cup of Caf. I didn't expect to find either of you in here. I had toyed with the idea of seeking you out," Evla walked casually forward with the empty cup in her hand, "I have no idea to what end. Maybe to see how I reacted when we came face to face."
Kurtas waited patiently for Evla to continue, striking a relaxed and insouciant pose not untypical of his master.
"Or perhaps I wanted to see how much darkness I could sense in you." She depressed the button, waiting for the usual scalding black stream of Caf to be dispensed. "But now I find it's not the seeing you face to face that I object to but the fact that you are just a corridor's length away from Jemmiah's room! Do you think I want to put her at risk? Have you no sensitivity at all to her situation?" The question was addressed to Kurtas this time, as Evla evidently thought that Kryztan had little left in the way of sensitivity. "I'm not comfortable with Kryztan being here. I'd like you both to leave."
"I won't hurt her." Kryztan managed to find his voice at last, although the words came out in a semi-paralysed squawk.
Evla turned disbelieving eyes on Kryztan. "I'm not taking the risk! I know the council seems to believe that you have good still in you…and force, for your sake I hope they are right," she found her voice quivering fractionally, "But after what you put Jemmiah through - whatever the reason - I'm not having you anywhere near her. Do you understand why?"
Kryztan nodded mutely.
"Good." Evla dispelled a long, pain-filled breath, pressing the button on the dispenser again with little effect. She frowned at the machine; it had been the third vendor she'd been to that day that had seemingly packed in for no apparent reason. If she didn't know any better she'd have sworn that a Wookie had been at it with a screwdriver! "Damn."
Kryztan stepped up towards her. "I can help."
She caught her words in her throat. Help her? Why should she let him? Once more she began to feel the bile build in her stomach…what was she even doing talking to him? When she considered the suffering and misery he had brought upon everyone, the destruction and pain, not to mention the permanent physical damage he'd inflicted on her daughter she wanted to hold her head in her hands and weep! The fact she was still in the room with him was a source of amazement to her! But whilst her fury began to climb to a new level she found herself standing to one side, allowing Kryztan to look at the defective Caf dispenser. He tinkered with it for a while, all the time with Kurtas standing over his shoulder and smiling in a disconcertingly masterly way! Evla wanted desperately to scowl but tried instead to remind herself that her duty was to Jemmiah, and that hitting Kryztan into the middle of next week would do not the slightest bit of good, in fact far from it…
One look at Kurtas told her he had realised the same thing.
"Someone's jammed the cups inside the machine." Kryztan sighed, removing one of the crumpled plasti cups from the back of the dispenser and tossing it into the nearby garbage receptacle. He moved Evla's cup back underneath the nozzle and pressed the button, this time with the desired result.
//I shall most likely choke on every mouthful.// Evla thought furiously, //But what else can I do? If Qui-Gon and Jemmiah have moved on from their loathing of Kryztan then I can too. Even if I can't forgive him for the death of her child…//
"Thank you." Evla swiftly took hold of the handle, and moved to walk away from the pair of them. If they weren't going to leave then she was getting back to Jemmiah, just so that she knew that she would be safe. Evla had seen what the darkside could do to a person. She also knew that the scars it left behind on an individual were truly horrendous. It was a rare thing for a person to recover completely from its ravages.
She stopped, closed her eyes…and without turning round addressed Kryztan one final time.
"She doesn't hate you." The crèche master's voice sounded rough through near constant strain and worry. "Jemmiah doesn't hate you for what you did. She forgives you. I'm not sure I can say likewise of Obi-Wan but all the same…I thought you ought to know before you leave." Evla paused for a moment, then continued: "Go in peace, Kryztan." And with that she walked out of the room, closing the door firmly and sharply behind her.
Kryztan stared after her, wondering if he had heard right.
"It's more than I dared hope for." He admitted, casting his eyes to the floor. "I never thought I would gain anyone's forgiveness for what I have done, but now I have hers…of all people I have Jemmiah's forgiveness. The one person with the most reason to hate me." Kryztan shook his head in bafflement. "It's difficult to take in."
"Now you can move on." Kurtas smiled.
"Not yet." Harkley was quick to rejoin. "Not completely. I can maybe find the courage to start again now, yes. But I haven't got Obi-Wan's forgiveness. One day I will." Kryztan stated resoundingly. "One day, someday…"
When the door opened this time to reveal the rather cautious face of a relieved Mace Windu, Kurtas and Kryztan collectively sighed with relief, shoulders sagging. What with Kryztan's talk of Obi-Wan, Kurtas wouldn't have been surprised if the padawan materialised unheralded within the room! Mace looked instantly suspicious, the frown on his face all but tripping him up as he entered the doorway.
"Did I just see Master Sovalla come out of here?" He demanded, looking back and forth between them.
"Master Windu, where did you go to?" Kurtas asked, leaning against the table. "We thought you'd maybe been abducted by some little green person…"
"I went to speak to the pilots of your craft. I hope you don't mind a terribly uncomfortable trip to K'noptrix," Mace spoke out the corner of his mouth, "because the flight we chartered for you is one you might find rather familiar…"
"Jivinan!" Exclaimed Kurtas with much delight and rejoicing. "My old partner in crime! I thought he had big plans to follow Lilith to wherever she was headed?"
"Looks like the lure of credits was too much, at least for the time being." Snorted Mace, smiling crookedly. "One way or another you should arrive on K'noptrix in the next week or so. And then," he turned to Kryztan, "you may begin to rebuild your life."
Kryztan looked around him at the walls and the ceiling, although what he was seeing was something far beyond the confines of the room. Instead of the flaking light blue paint he was seeing the dark sky of Coruscant, with it's beautiful stars shining down upon the jedi temple and its magnificent spire…the gardens, the streets, the plazas…everything he had come to associate with the capital. He thought of Kylenn and wished her well, of Nya, of Jasmyn and Tanni…even Simeon who had done him such a good turn at the end. Then finally there was Jemmiah, who somehow had seen fit to forgive him all his evils…
"Yes," Kryztan smiled, following Mace and his master out of the room, "I can go now."
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The new improved Hell's Chance Cantina!
Home for many assorted JA fanfic stories!:
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JediKnight-Obi-Wan
Registered:
Jan '00
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Date Posted:
2/7/03 10:45pm
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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For some reason I knew it was going to be a woman that walked in! LOL but I couldn't make up my mind who!
Great post Jem!
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"The course of true love never did run
smooth"---A Midsummer Night's Dream
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HaiGan
Registered:
Nov '00
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Date Posted:
2/8/03 2:44am
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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I haven't commented, although I've been keeping up. Way to go Rela, dropping that snippet of info and then walking away! Looks like someone's been trying to set you up all along anyway! Wonder how tactful that someone will be now?
Kryztan seems to have been given the start he needs to his new life.
A postie! Kit' wrote the middle section of this. If you need anything changing on my part, Kit', let me know when you get back from your few days' break!
Jane, Marnie, if anything doesn't fit with your idea, let me know that too.
******
Barin had never been so grateful for Ship's Rules, which kept those on duty focussed on their daily tasks and those on rest cycle centred around the mess and cabins. He doubted he could have been civil towards anyone if he'd been ordered to do so at blaster-point. He veered away from the medibay and the Jedi-assigned quarters like a Nargot scenting an abattoir, avoiding the knot of heightened emotions that were already eating away at the borders of his awareness. Master Tenax's concern for her padawan was muted and controlled but the grief of the other Jedi ladies was less civilised, an animal incomprehension and anger still untamed by meditation and rational thought. The fears and irritations of the Kaligari crew were a pack of vermin, chewing the edge of his own control into rags.
A service-way provided a filthy, cramped, but mercifully unoccupied route that cut across the front of the Engineering Deck to his own quarters. The door slid back behind him with alacrity, but its closing did not shut away the knight's own inner turmoil. The tiny cabin was poor sanctuary from the cage the Dawn Raider had become. His usual choice of release and relaxation was to go for a run, but there was nowhere to run on a spacebound vessel. He could not even train in the hold, full as it now was. Part of his overwrought mind tidily noted this dependence on physical activity and neatly marked it down as a weakness that would need working on, even as his more disorganised thoughts spilled out into a restless pacing of the cabin floor.
Two steps forwards.
Stop.
Turn.
Two steps back.
Stop.
Turn.
The story of his life.
Sara was dead. Barin tried the thought out carefully, knowing it would cause pain. He had not known her so well as Xanatos, but just as he had looked on Xanatos as his brother, so he had seen Sara as his sister. She would have felt his betrayal just as keenly as Xanatos. Perhaps more so, for she had been far more innocent, largely ignorant of the darkness that Xanatos already knew and sometimes courted. Barin's actions must have been a harsh introduction to the true evil in the galaxy; and he was not so blind to Xanatos's nature to pretend his childhood friend would not have exaggerated the trauma of finding Barin performing such an unforgivable act upon another Padawan.
They had been a dysfunctional group, Barin was in no doubts about that now. Hindsight was such a good teacher that it was a pity it was only available after the mistakes had been made. Sara's troubles had not begun with Xanatos but with her Master, Juli and himself as well; and Xanatos had been flawed by his own father's treatment, long before he was taken as Master Jinn's Padawan. Under other circumstances, though, in another time, another place, another reality, they could all have reached Knighthood without mishap.
Barin had spent years rationalising and analysing the past. He knew there was little he could have done to help them, even to save himself from his own Master's insidious grasp. Yet he could have done something. If he could have done just a fraction more, acted slightly differently, held himself back from breaking-point, then perhaps Xanatos would not have turned to the Dark Side. Juli would be whole and untarnished even if she remained forever unhappy. Sara could have found her way to being comfortable with herself and her Knighthood, not living with the restless half-unwilling acceptance of her fate as a Jedi that he had sensed on their one brief, strained meeting since they had both reached Knighthood.
He had hoped... yes, he had hoped. He had intended. He had intended to do what he could to help her become the knight she could have been. He had intended to explain his own actions, for what good that would do. He had not expected to restore any friendship, but he had hoped they could at least remain in the same room together and manage a civil conversation from time to time.
He had wanted to ask her how Xanatos had coped with his friend's descent into Darkness.
He had wanted to know why there was a boy among the Initiates who carried Xanatos's features.
He had wanted to know if she blamed him for the experiences of her past.
He had wanted...
...and now he could never ask.
******
The force ebbed and flowed through the universe. A bright multi-layered rainbow of glittering motes, it traversed through planets, wound its way through soft hills and across harsh deserts. It floated and waved in its own breeze and drifted quietly in the breath of the animals. It whispered, to those who would listen, the right course of action. It comforted those as they died and touched its brief spark to the living. The force was everywhere, in everything. It knew actions before they happened and watched as futures were made and destroyed. Every life flickered briefly within its core, ebbing and flowing in their own light, their own life. On one planet, two small lights became one, fusing together. It was supposed to be a selfless act to save another’s life, given by a woman that had spent to her life struggling to find peace. As the last of her life- essence flowed into the other she found her calm centre and the two lives melded into one. A life that flickered, died into nothingness and then flared into a shining, sparking mote as it found its true place in the force.
******
Sara watched Barin pace the deck of the ship. Perched on the bed, unseen by the pacing Jedi, Sara sat next to Marcus and smiled.
//So he was a friend of yours?// Marcus sent for about the fifteenth time. Sara was beginning to think that the young man felt slightly threatened by Barin. Sara nodded brusquely keeping her eyes on the Jedi Master.
//He still is a friend of mine.// Sara replied. She turned back to Marcus, although her attention was still partially focused on the short, blonde haired man in front of her. //We had a falling out a long time ago. I blamed him for some stuff he did, and he was never around to defend himself.// She shrugged and glanced at the floor scuffed the front of her boot on the ground. With a decisive movement she stood up, her form rippling in the force as she did so. For a moment Sara revelled within this new feeling - except it wasn’t just one feeling, it was thousands of them. She could feel everything all at once now, and yet the atmosphere was much calmer then it had ever been in life. She turned back to Marcus, her hands swinging by her sides as she did so.
//Things feel different now.// She added as way of explanation.
//How so?// Marcus sent, the force conveying his puzzlement, //I mean aside from the obvious.// He waved his hand through the sleep-couch light to prove his point.
//I don’t know. I’m not happier. They always tell you that being one with the force brings happiness. I’m not happier though, just more calm then I’ve ever been in my life.// Sara answered. //Everything used to be so cluttered and confusing - there were a thousand things going on at once…// Her thought trailed off.
//Now there’s just the Force.// Marcus answered, an eyebrow raised slightly. Sara nodded and turned back to the still pacing Barin.
//Just the Force.// She thought quietly - more to herself then to Marcus. //And a whole stack of goodbyes.//
For just a fraction of a second her face grew sterner and there was another ripple in the force as she made herself apparent. For a few seconds Sara took great delight in the slightly shocked widening of the Jedi Master’s eyes. Then the mask, which so often dominated Barin’s face, fell back into place.
“Hello Barin” Sara said quietly.
“Hello Sara.” His face was just as stern as hers was.
“We….arrr…need to…” Sara half started.
“I know.” Barin answered before she had finished
“Look, about…”
“It was my fault.”
“No, it was never your fault.” Sara said gravely. “You couldn’t have stopped him.”
“I should have done something. I should have seen…” he trailed away awkwardly.
“Barin!” Sara voice snapped harshly across the room. “You might be responsible for some of the hurt in the universe, but not every scrapped knee is your fault.”
She shuddered and felt herself flicker, Marcus had raised himself off the wall and was staring at her intently. That had been too harsh, even for Barin, but it had at least been the truth.
“Look. If you want to make amends, make them to Juli.” She said softly, “You're not responsible for much of what happened to Xani. You never were.”
There was a rasp of rubber soles on metal as someone walked down the hall outside the room. The young woman glided the two step distance between Barin and herself and then reached out briefly and touched his hand.
“Thanks,” she said as her fingers slid through his, and she sighed quietly. She glanced up at Barin, smiled once, and then shimmered back into the Force.
******
If Barin had felt his thoughts crowded before, now they were so clogged as to barely have room to move. The over-taxed filing-system of his mind rushed to sort everything into place, leaving his body to stand unmoving in the middle of the floor temporarily deprived of a pilot.
Barin had been told Jedi could reappear after death, moulding themselves as beings of pure life-force, but they seldom appeared except to those who needed them. Barin had never seen the phenomenon before. Did that mean he needed the visit? He had seen Sara again, and once of his questions was answered. He knew she did not blame him for the past, not any more... yet with that came the injunction to make things right with Juli, and how could he ever do that, even if he had several lifetimes to attempt it?
Then, wasn't it only Jedi who were at peace with themselves and the Force who could maintain a sense of self after death? Did that mean Sara was at peace? Barin seldom desired anything so much as to believe that was the case, and therefore his sense of cynical realism told him things had to be otherwise. Had he then been a reason for Sara to drag herself back into the sordid world of the living, simply to tell him to stop putting off what had to be done and try talking to Juli?
He could only hope Sara could then let herself free, her own role over, the fashioning of her soul finally complete.
//Master?//
Thom's query was an unwelcome intrusion into Barin's contemplations. He felt barriers springing up automatically, shielding his Padawan from the untidy morass of his mind. He disliked having his thoughts so disordered, and there seemed to be no opportunity to sort everything out, no sanctuary of calm where he could consider matters with proper detachment.
//Thom.// A response of studied neutrality; yet he needed this time alone. He needed to pull his wits back together and be sure he had a firm grip on himself. He could not afford to let things get on top of him, not with a ship full of shipwrecked crew, grieving Jedi and dangerous pirates. //Is it urgent?//
//Master Biwo's gone into withdrawal, he's convinced the parasites that killed Master Pashaz are in his head, he's cut his way into the ventilation ducts and he's trying to get to the airlock to throw himself out. Essix is threatening to connect the ducts up to the high-voltage supply and fry him for chopping up the ship with his lightsaber and the crew are scaring Master Biwo by threatening to set the Znakken on him. Which, as it's Ambianca on Znakken duty, they might have a go at him anyway. Oh, and it was the duct above the mess hall. Soon as he got into the main system he's stuck tighter'n a Hutt in a hookworm burrow. And that's the duct supplying air to the hold, I think. Seven on the urgency scale. Maybe eight... it's an eight. Gunner's gonna shoot him.//
Barin permitted himself a single sigh, then brutally shoved his considerations of the past into a packed heap in the shadows at the back of his mind. They would have to wait. He would have to cope.
//Master? Can you go calm Essix down? You're the only one he's gonna listen to 'cept the Captain, and the Captain's one of the only two people small enough to fit down the ducts and get Master Biwo out.//
Barin headed for the door, finding the way in which it sprang open almost obscene in its eagerness. There were things that needed sorting out. Sorting himself out was going to have to wait.
Perhaps there would be time when this was all over.
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"You Can Run But You Can't Hide" A tale of friendship, healing, and Corellian fast food http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=17272301
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mouse2
Registered:
Oct '99
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Date Posted:
2/8/03 7:59am
Subject:
RE: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (JA): Not quite finished but heading that way!
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If Kryztan needed to run into anyone it was Evla. She gave him what he needed most, although she was reluctant too, and that was Jemmy's forgiveness. I think now he'll be able to work that much harder at bettering himself.
Wonderful post Jem! Well worth the wait!
Poor Barin! He has so much to deal with yet none of the time to get it all straight in his head. I think the visit from Sara did him good along with getting him on the right track to forgiving himself.
Too bad now he has to deal with what can go wrong DID go wrong!
A fabulous post HaiGan and Kit'! It's great to see those characters again!
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Want to know what ANTAR and TLST are? Visit Hell's Chance! http://www.hellschancecantina.com Proud Master to Lola64! I've gone into lurking mode... If you need me feel free to PM me...
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