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Author	Topic: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
Tellesto Registered: Dec '99	Date Posted: 5/19/00 8:29pm Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	Page 4!!! All right!!!!
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[Red3] Registered: Nov '99	Date Posted: 5/22/00 8:36am Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	Meanwhile, back in the kitchen. "Uh, Irish, you didn't put any "flour" on that steak, did you?" Red asked. "Nae, didn't 'ave any. I'd tasted better than" Irish replied. "Wierd, because I'm hearing a voice in my head" "Tha's jus' tha sobriety speeking" Irish said. "No, it's much too coherent. Sounds like somebody is in trouble" Red repiled. "Wait a bloody minute! Yeah, someone's yellin' in me head too, some lass. Let's go find out wha she want. Bet ya five bucks she's ***" Irish said and brought forth the almighty Holy Bottle of Gonkitude. They both drank from it and the concious world blurred out and they stood face to face with the Styrofoam Cup of Sorrow and Despair. "Oh, f" Red said. "Hey, you guys! What took you?! You're slower than a friggin Hutt on tranquilizers!" Hiroko said. "Shut up, we're here aren't we?" Red said. "Oh, Irish, I think I found out were your lost briefs are. The underpants Gnomes have them" "Whas tha'? My briefs?" Irish said. "Um, you know that those briefs are one of the known universes most lethal weapons. They can turn the most fertile plantet into a wastland in less than 30 seconds. Eats through a five inch wall of f**** durasteel in two. Biohazard doesn't even begin to describe them" Red said, "and thats why Irish only wears boxers now". "Thas right, those things are evil" Irish said. "Um, why am I not surprised" Hiroko said. "Excuse me for interrupting your cute little reunion there, but now I think it's time for you to die" the cup said. "Shut up! We're thinking here!" Hiroko yelled. "Fine, just don't get grouchy about it. It's nothing personal, it's just one of those things us really frickin' evil masterminds have to do, it's in our contract" the cup said. "All right, just give us a minute, then you can kill us" Red said. "So what now?" Hiroko said. "I say we all get drunk" Irish said. "Good idea" Red said. "Shut up, hmm, if those briefs are as lethal as you say they are, why not use them against the cup over there" Hiroko said. "Huh? How? Those things have a mind of their own, you know" "So we'll convince it. Anyway, we find them, stuff them in a ball or something round, and I bat them into the cup using the TPOGTAWP" Hiroko said. "The buggers can move around by themselves, ye know" Irish said. "So we'll frickin' knock them out! Big deal! I don't see you coming with any better suggestions" "We did" Red said. "What?" "Get drunk" "Aaaahhh!"
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Obidiah Registered: Dec '99	Date Posted: 5/23/00 2:06pm Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	Jan-lo stood next to Jole over the unconcious bodies of their comrades. The two looked at each other and readied the buckets of ice water they had prepared. They each swung their bucket back and began to sling it forward when suddenly (you knew it was comming) the scene changed!! NiceGuy and Obidiah were making their way down into the bowells of the ship level by oder-defiled level. Just then Obidiah heard a noise. He whispered (or as close as the deep-voiced red-neck could come to it) to his friend and authoritative figure, "D'ya hear thait?" NiceGuy jumped slightly at the loudness of the other's whisper as if something had broken the sacred silence as he had indeed been trying to discerne where the sound had come from. Just then a dog entered the corridor about fifty-yards down from NG and Obi. The two HoJo looked at each other and then back at the dog. Having a soft spot for all G-D's creatures Obi began to make his way toward the puppy. NiceGuy, being the more level-headed (bet you never would have guessed that) of the two, grabbed Obidiah by the arm to stop the massive Jedi. As Obi stopped where he was three more dogs came out and then they stood up on their back legs. More and more dogs continued to walk out. Finally a little boy came out in front of the multitude of dogs. It was a little blonde kid with blue eyes which were crossed and a high-squeeky voice. He pointed at the two HoJo and demanded, "You are intruders. My name is Timmy and these are my," the kid spread his arms to make sure the HoJo knew he was talking about the dogs, "Evil Collies from Bermuda Which Defend the Depths of the Hewlet Packard!!" "HOO-DOGGY!," Obidiah whispered loudly to NiceGuy as the two both lit their lightsabers (at least I suppose NG lit his lightsaber... who can tell??). "Thar's gunna be a bar fite!!" NiceGuy nodded agreement as the horde of dogs commanded by little Timmy boy paraded forward. "Only no bar." Suddenly ('cuz IIII'm the only one, grrrrowwll) someone else posted... [This message has been edited by Obidiah (edited 05-23-2000).]
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Jole Registered: Dec '98	Date Posted: 5/23/00 2:25pm Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	"Nooooo wait!!" The annoying can of Mountain Dew swooped down at Jole and Jan lo. Startled, the two HoJo's dropped their buckets of water. "What do you want now?!" "They are Gonks, you can't throw water on them. What if they accidently ingest some?" The can implored. "You're right, they might melt or something." Jan tried to think of a new way to revive the troublesome duo. "You mean like the Wicked Witch of the West?" The Dew can nodded, very proud of itself. Thinking it's work was done for now, it circled around the women and headed off. "Not so fast." Jole grabbed the can. "Hiroko is a HoJo and there is one guarenteed way to revive us." "Caf...feine?" The can stuttered. "Exactly." Jan lifted Hiroko to a sitting position as Jole started to pop the tab. Suddenly (Ahhhh yes) ..... -----signature----- I am a flower quickly fading Here today and gone tomorrow
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iamurme2 Registered: Jan '99	Date Posted: 5/24/00 10:53am Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	<<lol... great post, Jole! love the can! uppers!>> -----signature----- If sanity is a measurement, then who's the dipstick?
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The Irish Jedi Registered: Aug '98	Date Posted: 5/24/00 12:20pm Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	The Styrofoam Cup of Sorrow and Despair paced back and forth, rubbing its non-existant chin impatiently whilst it waited for the bickering trio. "I don't supponse you could hurry this up a bit, could you?" the cup asked, annoyance in his voice. "Look, for tha' fckin' thrid time, SOD OFF!" Irish shouted, face red. He turned back to Hiroko, leveling his finger at the petite young Hojo. "There's nae a bloody way in hell tha' Dukes of Hazard was a better show than Chips! Tha's just preposterous an' truly evil ta' say!" "Irish, what the crap are you talking about?" Hiroko asked, confused. "I wasn't even alive for either of them, and I was talking about trying to destroy this gonk-damned cup!" "Oh. I see." "We could get drunk," Red offered. Before Hiroko could smack the taste out of Red's mouth, she shivered suddenly. Then she let out a pleaserable moan. "MMmmmmmmaahhhhh..." she purred, eyes closed. "Uh, huh?" Red and Irish said. "Ohhhhh.... that feels soooo good ..." she moaned, lost it seemed. "Irish?" Red asked, eyebrow arching up. "You didn't use that tantric sex Force trick on her you learned from Sting did you?" "NO!" Irish protested. "Tha's Hiroko, man!!!! Are ye bloody daft?! ...." Irish then covered his mouth with his hand and muttered, "besides I tried it on all the Hojo women and it dinna work ... all tha' caffeine I think." "Caffeine ... ummmmmmahhhhhh...." Hiroko said dreamly. Then, SUDDENLY, she disappeared. "Wot tha' fck?!" Irish exclaimed. "Uh-oh," Red said, stepping back. "Oh, trying to run away eh?" the SCoSD cackled. "You yellow b@stards," it said, it's tiny white, cartoonishly gloved hands producing a long titanium-shaft Calloway super-Gonka$$kicking-one wood driver. "I think it's time to tap a keg of whup a$$, my inebriated friends..." the cup said direly. Knowing they were outmatched, Irish and Red took delicate steps backward. "The jig is up ..." Irish said. " ...and gone!" Red shouted, turning around and running like a swedish starfighter ace turned gonk knight turned nymphomaniac turned rare bird collector. For once deciding on the better part of valor, Irish too began to haul a$$. Before he could run very far, however, he smelled something so sweet ... so good ... He stopped running to properly take in the delicious aroma. Using his hands to waft the smell towards his nose, he sucked in the lovely nectar. Only a few feet ahead, Red was doing likewise. Grinning maniacally, the SCoSD poised above the two Gonks in a mighty leap, Calloway Gonk Killer driver held high for the death strike. Then, SUDDENLY!!!, they were gone ... Irish and Red snapped awake instantly, startling Jole, Jan and Hiroko. Before the ladies could react, the two Gonks snatched away the bottles of whiskey that the Hojo were holding under their noses. "Good call on the whiskey, Jole," Jan said, watching in grim fascination as Irish and Red guzzled the liquor like Betty Ford locked in an ABC store. "I had some left over from a binge we went on at a cantina," Jole said. "You've drank with these two?" Hiroko asked, shocked. "And survived?" Jan added, eyes wide. "From what I remember, yes ..." Meanwhile ... -----signature----- "I could make my big words oh so dark, I could be replaced by any bright spark. But Darkness makes me fumble for a key to a door... that's wide open."
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Darth Legs Registered: Jan '99	Date Posted: 5/24/00 2:10pm Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	Meanwhile, Legs13, in her landspeeder of terminal velocity was creating a dark streak across the surface of the planet. Suddenly, lights began flashing in her rearview. "D***!" she muttered, mildly. Fingering her saber and loosening her blasters in their holsters as she slowed down and pulled over, Legs13 looked out the window, watching for the officer to emerge. She smiled to herself as a handsome young man in uniform stepped from his speeder. Unbuttoning yet ANOTHER button on the front of her... outfit, she began smiling seductively as he came to her window. "Well, hello, officer." It was clear that he had rarely seen such an attractive woman so ... casually dressed, this planet having a very moral social climate, and he swollowed visibly as he asked for her license and registration. Legs13 was slightly peeved to see that he looked scared more than anything. I've got to get off this planet! Maybe next time I go out I should be in disguise. As Legs13 handed over her paperwork, quietly reaching for her blaster, another speeder drove up, also with flashing lights. Legs13 looked back in annoyance. Maybe I'll kill him, too, and take his donuts. Then she noticed ... the new speeder was black, not white, and the flashing lights were dark purple and blood red, not blue and scarlet. A different kind of man in uniform stepped out of the speeder. Coal black from his collar to his shoes, the uniform he wore was stunning, and so was he. Tall, dark, incredibly handsome, Legs13 felt herself get a little lightheaded, a little warm as he approached her speeder. Oooooh, frisk me! she thought, an evil smile crossing her lips. "I'll take over from here, sir. Immigration, division six," he stated authoritatively. His deep voice rumbled like distant thunder in a summer storm. The first officer examined his badge thoughtfully, told the dark man how fast she was going, and left. After staring at her for a moment, his face impassive, his eyes hidden behind truly wicked shades, the dark man quietly rumbled, "If you would please step from your vehicle." Sensing that now was not the time for play, she quietly opened the door and stood up, a seductive smile on her face. The dark officer handed her what looked like a subpeona. Legs13 looked at him questioningly. "You are called to stand before the Grand Council of Evil People for evil plotting without a license, becoming a villan without going through the registration process, and thinking dirty thoughts about a Dark Officer. You must stand before a tribunal of your peers in one week. As always, justice will not be served, so if you don't want to be killed on the spot, you'd better come up with a convincing argument. You have been served." With that, he turned on his heel, got in his speeder, and sped away. Legs13 looked at the subpeona in her hand. Doesn't know what he's missing... was her first thought, but then, Stand before a tribunal? Convincing argument? An evil smile spread across her face. She had a few more things to pick up before next week. Yes, she would go, but they'd be sorry for bothering her. But who knows, this might turn out to be a good thing. She chuckled to herself. And I didn't even get a speeding ticket.
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Jan lo Registered: Jul '98	Date Posted: 5/24/00 3:28pm Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	Jan-lo smiled at Jole, "Welcome back, by the way! It's good to see one of the original crew!" "Thanks," Jole responded as she and Hiroko helped the two newly-inebriated Gonk Knights to their feet, "It's good to be seen. That Mountain Dew can is actually the one who convinced me to come back," she added, glancing at the floor where the can gasped once and lay silent. Everyone was quiet for a moment. "Well, Captain Switzerland seems to have gotten lost, so let's gow find Jar Jar and thaw him out, shall we? Then we can all go home!" Jan piped up, pointing down the hall to the freezer section. "Has anyone seen NiceGuy and Obadiah?" she added as the group headed into the thick, swirling mist of the freezers. "I thought he was with you!" Hiroko replied. "He was, but then the posts got screwed up again or something," Jan responded wearily. "We have got to finish this thread before we get even more mixed up!" "You Knights are always mixed up!" Red offered, and Irish grunted in assent. Jan just sighed and lead them further into the freezer. "Hey, hey guys! I think we found him!" On the wall, deep behind a layer of ice crystals, stood an upright block of Soggonite. Jan and Jole started scraping away the frost, and an elderly Gungan face came free of the icy buildup, hearing aid and all. "Well, he's looked better," Irish commented, looking for the controls to thaw the old guy out. -----signature----- www.rebellegion.com www.rebelsquadrons.org
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iamurme2 Registered: Jan '99	Date Posted: 5/24/00 6:03pm Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	<<IAM fell and was supposed to be frozen next to Jar Jar, but noone seems to understand this. That's why Jan sent NG down through the levels to find the two missing HoJo (those being IAM and Jar Jar). Since Obi came along he went with NG to find them. I didn't mix anything up. I did just what the previous posts had been leading up to.>> -----signature----- If sanity is a measurement, then who's the dipstick?
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[Red3] Registered: Nov '99	Date Posted: 5/25/00 8:13am Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	Red's eyes suddenly narrowed and he jumped up, ignited his lightsaber and slashed the frozen shape of Jar Jar's head off. "WHAT THE HOLY F*!!! ARE YE F*** DAFT?!!" Irish yelled and sucker-punched Red in the gut. "Unghh....look...argh....at...uhh...the...fck it hurts.....neck!" Red wheezed. The knights turned and looked at the remains of the poor gungan. Where the neck used to be, wires were short-circuting and sparks were flying everywhere. "What's this?" Jan asked. "Look at this" Jole said and brushed some more frost off of the Jarjar-bot. She pointed at a label stamped on the rear end of the bot. "It reads, Property of KillBot Inc. Give your friend a surprise he won't forget, a homicidal copy of himself!" Jole continued. "The bloody bstards! Now I'm really pissed off!" Irish said. "W-w-would y-you mind g-g-getting me off this floor. It's colder than f*ckin' liquid nitrogen" Red said and shivered. "How did you know he was a killbot?" Hiroko asked. "Um, because he was real and not CG" Red said. "Ok, this is getting scary. Red's actually right" Jole said, "we'd better find the real CG Jar Jar before something worse happens, like Irish starts dressing i suits". "Don't talk like that" Red said. "Let's find NJ and Obidiah first, they might have some clues. I have my handy HoJo-finder here and it says that way" Jan said and started walking down a passage. The others followed. "Jole, lass, what made ye look at tha' part of Jar Jar first?" Irish asked. "Um.." Jole said.
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Jole Registered: Dec '98	Date Posted: 5/25/00 4:46pm Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	Jan lo made a timely interruption. "Come on, we are wasting time. Let's follow my HoJo detector." Not bothering to help Red off the freezing floor, Jole quickly followed Jan's lead. Cue Scooby-doo music Going down some stairs, Jan looked at the mechanical device in her hands. Shoot, it looks like they just went down another level. "We'll have to go to the other end of the hall for the stairway down." Irish pointed out. (Sorry been too long since I wrote Irish's accent) After several levels of going back and forth Jole called a halt. "Jan are you sure you are holding that thing the right way?" "Yes. V8ER showed me how to use it after he built it." "Well if V8ER made it, it should be okay." Hiroko added. "I mean, it's not like it came out of IAM's UBOF or anything." Suddenly, everyone reading this post realized it was a blatant attempted to up the thread and not add to the story at all.... -----signature----- I am a flower quickly fading Here today and gone tomorrow
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Obidiah Registered: Dec '99	Date Posted: 5/25/00 6:01pm Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	Then 'roko remembered that her TPOGTAWP had sprung forth from IAM's Mighty UBOF so she quickly hushed her cursing at his loverly belt of general wonderfullness. * cue Scooby scene change to follow Scooby and Shaggy wannabies, Obidiah and NiceGuy * "I don't wanna be Scooby or Shaggy," NiceGuy complained. NG looked over at Obidiah for support, but the over-sized red-neck was sitting on his haunches with his tongue hanging out. He looked up at the newly elected (sort-of) HoJo co-leader and said, "Rut now, Raggy?" The two HoJo had made good time after breaking through the initial onslaught of the guard collies. They had run down corridor after corridor gaining distance and finding themselves deeper and deeper in the bowells of the Hewlett Packard. Suddenly (the mouse ran up the clock) the two heroic HoJo ran headlong into a dead-end!! They would have to backtrack. NiceGuy was visibly getting nervous having not found Jar Jar or IAM yet and being stuck with the red-neck in the loin-cloth running from a bunch of bi-pedal mutts... it was almost more than the brave HoJo with the invisible-bladed lightsaber could stand! (I think he just needs a good bloody blatantly meaningless bar fight to clear out his head.) Timmy and his troop (no other than the Evil Collies from Bermuda Which Defend the Depths of the Hewlet Packard) could be heard in the distance as they drew ever nearer the brave HoJo. Suddenly (hickory-**ory-dock!) Red 3's voice came over the stratigically-placed Gonk communicator in Obidiah's loin-cloth. "Sorry! I fin' forgot we had communicators implanted in all loincloths!" the brave Gonk could be heard defending. "Obidiah, can you hear me??" "Is rat rou, Raggy??" Obidiah inquired of his loincloth. "I didn't even know we had **in' communicators!" Red retorted to someone on the other side of the ... communicator. "Listen, Obidiah! This is Jan-lo. Is NiceGuy there?" Before the dastardly duo could answer Timmy and the Evil Collies from Bermuda Which Defend the Depths of the Hewlet Packard rounded the corner in front of NiceGuy and Obidiah. "Ruh oh, Raggy!" Obidiah spuddered as someone else posted something which would probably be more coherrant than this. <<Red, your post RULED! I almost fell out of my chair laughing when you cut non-CG-Jar Jar's head off for no apparent reason, then explained the reason. Great post!>>
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Darth Legs Registered: Jan '99	Date Posted: 5/26/00 9:07pm Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	Jan-lo paused at a fork in the tunnel, looking quizzically at her HoJo-detector. "Jinkies," she said, uncharacteristically, pushing up her non-existant glasses. "They seem to be in both directions at once." Hiroko, who was now wearing a purple headband, twirled her hair and said, "But NiceGuy and Obidiah would NEVER split up! They're inseparable. Right Red?" Red, for some reason, had a kercheif tied around his neck. "Why yes, Hiroko. Still, if the HoJo-detector says they're in two directions, maybe we should split up." No one caught the wink he flashed at her. "How about you and I go this way," he pointed to the right, "and everyone else go that way," he pointed left. "If we don't find anything, we meet back here in half an hour, okay?" "Right," everyone said. Meanwhile, Timmy's face had turned to a hideous gray pallor, and he began floating above the ground. The Evil Collies from Bermuda Which Defend the Depths of the Hewlett Packard began to howl in a wolfish, ghostly way. Obidiah leapt into NiceGuy's arms. "Ruh-roh!!! Ret's ret out of rear, Raggy!!!" "Wooooah!" NiceGuy yelled, as he began to scramble backwards with the giant, loin-clothed redneck in his arms. An odd percussion noise echoed down the hallway, but NiceGuy wasn't getting anywhere. "I think you're right, Obi. Let's go!" Suddenly the two out of character HoJo were a streak down the corridor, the ghostly Timmy floating me(a)nacingly behind them. Suddenly (Scooby-dooby-doo, where are you?) ...
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Darth Legs Registered: Jan '99	Date Posted: 5/26/00 9:17pm Subject: Re: Stop! Or my HoJo will shoot!!!
	Okay, I'm feeling a little post crazy just now. I'm restraining myself from posting something elsewhere, so I'm going to post again here to relieve some pressure. grin Legs13 stood in a slick black coat in front of a dirty counter. A seedy-looking man behind it smiled at her, leering as he looked her up and down. "So you want some, huh?" he asked repulsively. Legs13 knew how to deal with this kind of scum. She leaned against the counter, her leather straps straining against her body. "Yeaaaah," she whispered. "Can you show them to me?" The man, obviously interested in her... business... began pulling out large, rapid-firing blaster after large, rapid-firing blaster. At each new weapon, Legs13 smiled, but continued to look up at him expectantly. He began to look more and more surprised as the pile of heavy duty blasters grew and grew. Finally, his jaw slack, he breathlessly said, "But lady, I ain't got anything bigger. What are you looking for???" With a wicked smile, Legs13 pulled out one of her own twin blasters. "I want them all," she smiled, as she blew him away. Walking from the blaster shop in the seediest part of town, no one looked twice at the young woman in the bulging black coat. In fact, most were smart enough to be very interested in the ground in front of their feet. Climbing into her speeder, Legs13 clinked just a little bit. This wasn't going to be a comfortable ride, but she had a whole bunch of new holsters and leather straps to play with to figure out what exactly she was wearing to her "hearing".
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Oscar Bergh Registered: May '00	Date Posted: 5/27/00 5:55pm Subject: Re: Is there any differance between Capture Cards?
	If there is wich is the best one to get? i have a PC win98 or WinNT or Win2000 depending on what the capture card prefers. I have all the hardware but i want to know if there is any major differance between the cards... i want a card that workes well with a PC and with Adobe premiere and After Effects.... Please im about to buy a new one within the days but i dont know what im looking for.. my old one came with my studio i bought but it broke.. (minor misshap with my studio) Oscar Bergh Motion Media http://hem3.passagen.se/elight/motion http://hem3.passagen.se/elight/motion
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