| Author |
Topic:
Vader's Heart
|
dark-knight
Registered:
Feb '01
|
Date Posted:
3/13/01 2:57am
Subject:
Vader's Heart
|
I decided to repost. I wasn't sure of the title in the first place-but when it got the readers confused.(Wish there was a way to edit the title) Like on fanfiction.net
********************************************
I want to add that though Vader wears a mask, its to hide the unsightly scars on his face-rather than for breathing. Let me repeat constructive criticism is welcome i.e grammmetical or spelling errors. Thanks for reading it.
*********************************************
The calm surface of the mirror smooth water rippled, then crashed as young women’s head appeared from under-quite out of breath she gulped in the cool crisp air of the alpine valley.
She lay back lazily floating in the water for a while. Then she pulled herself out of the water and proceeded to climb the rock promontory over looking the pool, with the agility of a mountain rlallma, hopping from rock to rock till she was at the top, her wet dress clinging to her slim athletic body.
The valley spread before her-tinged in all shades of green. From yellow green to aqua to leaf green to the dark green hues of the soma pines clinging precariously to the sheer mountains sides. The pool was down below shimmering like crystal. From this height it looked pretty small, like a shiny silver coin in the palm of the black rock around it.
Cupping her mouth she shouted into the valley. “This is my paradise-and mine alone”
The distant mountains echoed her claim and acknowledged their allegiance to their Queen.
* Yes! Still Queen * She smiled. She loved her little paradise and though at times she yearned for human companionship-she would never exchange it for life in a city.
Arisha drew in a deep breath and held in for a while, letting her muscles relax. She stretched out on the flat mesa and closed her eyes. The warm sun felt good on her face.
A loud sharp whining suddenly cut through her reveries, she jumped up. It seemed to be coming from above-she scanned the skies but could see nothing. The noise grew incessantly louder.
A red fiery ball suddenly shot through the cotton white clouds. In a blink it disappeared in the midst of the trees-a loud explosion tore through the quite valley reverberating over and over far into the distance.
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
dark-knight
Registered:
Feb '01
|
Date Posted:
3/13/01 3:00am
Subject:
RE: Vader's Heart
|
Arisha stood there shocked. Then she went into action. There was no time to climb down the steep slope. Standing on the edge of the jutting promontory she leaped up. Soaring gracefully-hands held out like wings, legs close together, and toes pointing-she dived from above. Her body sliced the water like a knife.
Sweating and out of breathe her feet sore from running bare foot through the dense forest, she followed the direction of the thick black smoke emitting from somewhere in the middle of the forest.
At last she broke into a clearing. She stood there wide-eyed as she took the scene before her.
The wreck of a ship of some kind lay mangled against some trees that it had crashed into, one side of the ship was aflame and she could hear small explosions within.
She looked back at the bare swatch that the careening ship had cut through the forest.
Must’ve crashed pretty hard she thought as she contemplated going in and looking for survivors. Just as she was about to give up on anybody having survived-the door of the ship whirred softly and began to lower, almost painstakingly to the ground.
She ran towards it. The ramp was now just above her head but she could see no one. Only when it came down to just below her waist did she see why. A black clad figure lay face down on it
She stared incredulously, as the black being-she couldn’t say it was human- slide gently down to her feet as the ramp hit the floor with a soft thump. She jumped back as the black helmet touched her bare feet-it was hot like fire.
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
dark-knight
Registered:
Feb '01
|
Date Posted:
3/13/01 5:56pm
Subject:
RE: Vader's Heart
|
|
UP!
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
padawan lunetta
Registered:
May '99
|
Date Posted:
3/13/01 6:14pm
Subject:
RE: Vader's Heart
|
|
OoooOOoooo looks interesting Dark-Knight!! Keep it coming
-----signature-----
"You may marry a hutt if you like, just don't expect me to brag about my cute grandchildren." Hal Horn to Corran, I, Rebel Jacen\Jysella Forever!!!
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
dark-knight
Registered:
Feb '01
|
Date Posted:
3/14/01 2:38am
Subject:
RE: Vader's Heart
|
Thanks lunetta, I'm working on the next post.
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
DarthVader54
Registered:
Dec '00
|
Date Posted:
5/19/01 3:09pm
Subject:
RE: Vader's Heart
|
sounds good so far
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
dark-knight
Registered:
Feb '01
|
Date Posted:
5/19/01 8:20pm
Subject:
RE: Vader's Heart
|
Thanks guys. I'd lost this story somewhere-guess someone brought it back from the Mariana trench and so I've decided to give it another try.
*********************************************
The flames crackled loudly, something popped loudly, waking her into action.
Holding the inert figure by the collars with both hands she dragged him away from the raging flames.
"He must weigh a ton!" she thought as she grunted and pulled. It’s definitely a male she concluded as she took in the huge form.
She fell and tripped several times before she reached the safety of the far trees. Not that she was so fragile-she was a huntress and did not depend on any one for survival. Carrying a medium sized gazal on her shoulders, half way through the forest wasn’t much of a feat for her.
“But this man must weigh more than three gazals,” She thought as she grunted and heaved.
At last they reached the safety of the trees, where she all but dumped the body and collapsed on the grass besides him.
After regaining her breath she turned to the injured man. Turning him around onto his back- she was taken aback by the fearsome black mask covering his face.
“What is this?" she thought? "The devil incarnate-God what if I’m helping something evil?”
She stood there uncertain- for a long time debating whether it was wise to help this man or just let him die. "What if he was a pirate? Worse he could be a slave trader?”
Her sixth sense, the one that had helped her survive alone in this wild environment, sounded- advising her to run and never look behind. She began to back away slowly. Just then she heard a weak moan. She stopped to listen; thinking it was her imagination. Then she heard it again.
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
jade_angel
Title: Executive Officer Vancouver BC, Canada
Registered:
Apr '01
|
Date Posted:
5/19/01 8:22pm
Subject:
RE: Vader's Heart
|
|
Oh now this is interesting. I never read your original so I'm going to be keeping tabs on this one.
-----signature-----
Let your mind start a journey through a strange new world Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before Let your soul take you where you long to be Only then can you belong to me
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
IellaWessiriNRI
Registered:
Jan '01
|
Date Posted:
5/19/01 8:22pm
Subject:
RE: Vader's Heart
|
|
oooh yes! don't let this die! keep it up!
-----signature-----
I miss the good old days.
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|
sabrelight
Registered:
Dec '00
|
Date Posted:
5/20/01 4:00am
Subject:
RE: Vader's Heart
|
Thanks.
I think I'll give this story some attention. The reason it died was the loss of some posts I'd make on a floppy, the floppy died and with my story, guess I'll have to start again.
-----signature-----
|
Locked Topic |
Active Topic Notification |
Private Message |
Post History
|