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Topic:
The Vader Monologues (humor)
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JediKlea
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
12/19/06 2:31pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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What? We don't even get a nice Christmas present? *pouts* I want a 'tory!
*nice face* please? 
-----signature-----
I DO know my own mind, the trouble is it keeps changing and I have to get aquainted with it all over again.
And next time you vote we hope that you will remember all that Darth Vader did for the invisible Squirrels of the universe...
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Fanficfan
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
12/19/06 6:47pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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Well it's not Christmas yet JediKlea. No need for panic.
But it would be a lovely chrstmas gift Blindman, give a story back to the community that have given you... erm... uh... yeah...
Just give us a story please  
-----signature-----
Such a sweet little boy,
so innocent,
Who would of guessed he'd grow into...
A bloody cry baby,
And a wife basher.
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Qui-Not-Here-Jinn
Registered:
Jun '06
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Date Posted:
12/19/06 7:12pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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I've been a fan of your stories for almost a year now... but I haven't replied until now. I love your work, blind man.
-----signature-----
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dm1
Registered:
Jun '04
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Date Posted:
12/27/06 2:47pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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My goodness, I just caught this on the last few posts! Hilarious, now I have to go back and read from the beginning!!!
I loved the middle management thing, and re-doing the holorecording from the Jedi temple incident! Taken down by a bunch of younglings, wow!
-----signature-----
Internet Mom to HSG!
Hey, HSG, watch those explosives, be careful!!
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General Cargin
Registered:
May '99
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Date Posted:
12/28/06 5:08am
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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Blind Man - that last one just violated possibly the most poignant scene in the entire Star Wars Saga... I love it!
-----signature-----
It's ... animal magnetism, what can I say?
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Money won't change me... much. Ask me how.
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BlindMan
Registered:
Nov '01
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Date Posted:
1/2/07 12:10am
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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ANAKIN: Woo-hoo! Happy New Year, everybody! Wooo!
VADER: Must you be so loud about it?
A: Hey, we've been gone a long time, buddy. We've gotta make some noise to let people know we're back. Speaking of which, where is Blind Man, anyway?
V: I think he's cowering in the other room.
A: Hey, BM! Get your lazy butt out here and say something to these *way* too patient readers of yours.
BLIND MAN: (voice muffled with distance) But they're gonna be mad at me!
(Vader shakes his head, walks from the room, and returns moments later, dragging Blind Man in by the hair.)
BM: OW-ow-ow-ow-OW! Will you stop?! (he extricates himself from Vader, rubbing his sore head.)
A: Now, do you have something to say to everyone?
BM: They're gonna kill me for being gone so long.
V: (chuckling) I know. It's going to be great. I've got the camera set up and everything.
A: Just tell them you're sorry...
BM: I am, but--
(Vader smacks him across the face.)
V: Stop waffling and be a man, already!
BM: Ouch! All right, I'm sorry!
A: Don't tell us, tell them.
BM: (facing the readers) I'm really sorry for being gone so long.
A: And it'll never happen again...
BM: Well, I can't really guarantee that, Real Life being what it is and--
*smack*
BM: Ouch! (glares at Vader) What is your deal?
V: Hello? Evil? My New Year's Resolution was to be more domineering...
A: You're off to a great start, buddy.
V: Thanks!
BM: (to readers) I'll do my very best--
(BM flinches as Vader raises his hand warningly)
BM: --to make sure it doesn't happen again and I thank everyone for their kind words regarding the last monologue and I'm working on the next one right now and it's going to cover the entire fight on Mustafar and I'll post it just as soon as it's ready and I appreciate your patience with me! (takes a breath)
*smack*
BM: (glaring at Vader) What the hell?!
V: Heh. Sorry. It was just...y'know...a reflex. Now get to work, you hack...
BM: I'm going, I'm going...
(Blind Man wanders from the room, muttering obscenities about the Sith...)
A: (to the readers) Folks, don't worry. We'll make sure he gets back on track.
V: If he doesn't, we'll cut off his supply of rocky road ice cream.
A: Oh, now that's evil even for you!
V: Isn't it?
A: See you soon, everyone!
 Blind Man
-----signature-----
Hey! Visit my webpage, "The Rabid Bantha Bar and Grille"! Or don't! : http://www.geocities.com/sightless2/rabidbantha.html -- Check my profile for more stories... "You still got that bag I gave you?"--R2-D2/Cleveland, "Family Guy"
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Handmaiden_Rabe
Registered:
Nov '03
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Date Posted:
1/2/07 3:20pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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Oh, you make me love those two.  *gives BM ice cream and hopes for more soon*
-----signature-----
Little Spitfire of the CJ
"I love the pitter patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots." -Mal Reynolds in War Stories
Currently reading: Redeeming Love, The Grapes of Wrath
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Stargazer-19
Registered:
Dec '04
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Date Posted:
1/5/07 10:18am
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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Donating a dozen cookies to the Blindman Fund.
Here's hoping for a quick posting!
-----signature-----
Magneto: “You wanted us to protect the library. What kind of villain attacks a library?
Xavier: You always did stupid things when you were a villain.
M: Did I ever attack a library?
X: Well, no.
M: Exactly. No self respecting villain attacks a library.
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Ascal_Elessar
Registered:
Feb '04
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Date Posted:
1/5/07 12:33pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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*smack*
BM: Ouch! (glares at Vader) What is your deal?
V: Hello? Evil? My New Year's Resolution was to be more domineering...
A: You're off to a great start, buddy.
V: Thanks!
Can't wait for the big fight scene.
-----signature-----
"HELLO THERE!" Member of the Obi-Wan Kenobi Fan Club
"He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the
night and the storm and the heart of the sun. He's
ancient and forever, he burns at the centre of time
and he can see the turn of the universe."
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Master_Kiona
Registered:
Sep '02
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Date Posted:
1/6/07 9:28am
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
- Date Edited:
1/6/07 9:29am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Master_Kiona
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*.* I was two behind!!!
New years resolution: spend more time on theforce.net 
Awesome awesome awesome.
V: Heh. Sorry. It was just...y'know...a reflex. Now get to work, you hack...
Reflex..lol Vader has such highly attuned force powers... Or something.
And the comments from the post before about the chicks? Awesome. I had a giggle fit.
EDIT: btw, Darth Leia, would you be willing to send me your word version of the monolouges? Pretty please?
-----signature-----
Of course I'm out of my mind! Its dark and scary in there!
Darth Vader was framed!
"Shall I describe it or get you a box?" ~Legolas
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amidalachick
Registered:
Aug '03
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Date Posted:
1/6/07 4:10pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
- Date Edited:
1/6/07 4:12pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
amidalachick
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(Ten minutes later, Vader regains consciousness on the chamber floor.)
A: (laughing) Dude, did you just get your butt handed to you by a bunch of five-year-olds?
V: I most certainly did not!
 This monologue gives a whole new meaning to this exchange in RotS...
Obi-Wan: "I saw a security hologram of him...killing younglings."
Padme: "Not Anakin. He couldn't."
VADER: (aloud) Nothing can stop that now.
A: Except, y'know...medical treatment.
Hilarious as ever, BlindMan!
-----signature-----
"Just dance, gonna be okay..."
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Darth_Leia_6669
Registered:
Apr '03
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Date Posted:
1/18/07 8:40am
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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Master_Kiona asked: Darth Leia, would you be willing to send me your word version of the monolouges? Pretty please?
As long as the much revered Blindman doesn't mind, I would be willing to send a copy of what I have to anyone who wants it. Just PM me with an email to send it to.
*taps her fingers imaptiently on the desk*
I'm still waiting for that fight scene, along with your other loyal readers. I'd really hate to have to send Vader to pay you another visit!
--later--
6669
-----signature-----
SOTH: When Worlds Collide http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=28532068&brd=10476 Chapter 14 up 9-9! Master to Lisbev! Vader for Prez in '08! Check my profile for more stories and art!
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DarthBreezy
Title: Retired Mos Everett Cantina Founder & JMPR
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
1/19/07 10:37am
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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Poor B.M. He gets double the thwacks!!
We'll be here!!!
-----signature-----
Although the singer is silent, There is still the truth of the song. http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28747916/p1/ Sailing little Boats - with GoldenJedi Anywhere is possible.
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Healer_Leona
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
1/22/07 10:09am
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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V: Hello? Evil? My New Year's Resolution was to be more domineering...
Always happy to see more here. Mustafar??? Oh now I'm all excited.  Any chance on a PM when that's up? 
-----signature-----
Still crazy after all these years.
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LilyHobbitJedi
Title:
Apples to Apples and 20 Questions hostess
Registered:
Aug '05
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Date Posted:
1/22/07 5:54pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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HILARIOUS! Can't wait to see the Mustafar scene!!
-----signature-----
Proud Master to eboneya & Alassë Eärfalas!  Everybody Lies- House/SW Crossover! http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/28032689/r28039379/ A Light In The Darkness http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b1047
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