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Topic:
The Vader Monologues (humor)
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piratedreamer
Registered:
May '06
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Date Posted:
6/14/07 11:15pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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Thanks for the PM!!!
 All I can say is that Suzy's been around quite a while....
-----signature-----
~**On permanent hiatus**~ Proud e-sis to justicejedi! Want to know some great fanfics/fanfic authors you ought to be reading?  check out my profile! Ex-padawan of the fantabulous MsLanna!
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BlindMan
Registered:
Nov '01
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Date Posted:
6/24/07 8:26pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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justicejedi : Will do! Thanks! 
Stargazer-19 : Thanks!
piratedreamer: You're welcome! She has indeed...
Well, everyone, looks like we're heading into the home stretch on this; unless my memory's horribly faulty, there are only a few more scenes left to do. Next one should be up within the week. Thanks for reading!
Blind Man
-----signature-----
Hey! Visit my webpage, "The Rabid Bantha Bar and Grille"! Or don't! : http://www.geocities.com/sightless2/rabidbantha.html -- Check my profile for more stories... "You still got that bag I gave you?"--R2-D2/Cleveland, "Family Guy"
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DarthBreezy
Title: Retired Mos Everett Cantina Founder & JMPR
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
6/27/07 9:51am
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
- Date Edited:
6/27/07 9:53am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
DarthBreezy
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BlindMan posted:
Well, everyone, looks like we're heading into the home stretch on this; unless my memory's horribly faulty, there are only a few more scenes left to do.
Blind Man
NONONONONONO!!!
Sorry - just no. Sorry BM - the monologues are too deeply ingrained in our collective to ever really end -
HOWEVER there's nothing wrong with a sequel you know - Obi-Wan verses Old Ben....
Ben: Mos Eisly Space Port... You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany!
Obi-Wan: Oh give me a break! You just don't want to risk running into Madam Sleebaggo and your souvenir - sorry, I mean - "Love child"...
-----signature-----
Although the singer is silent, There is still the truth of the song. http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28747916/p1/ Sailing little Boats - with GoldenJedi Anywhere is possible.
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astroanna
Registered:
Jul '02
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Date Posted:
6/27/07 9:17pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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DarthBreezy posted:
BlindMan posted:
Well, everyone, looks like we're heading into the home stretch on this; unless my memory's horribly faulty, there are only a few more scenes left to do.
Blind Man
NONONONONONO!!!
Sorry - just no. Sorry BM - the monologues are too deeply ingrained in our collective to ever really end -
HOWEVER there's nothing wrong with a sequel you know - Obi-Wan verses Old Ben....
Ben: Mos Eisly Space Port... You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany!
Obi-Wan: Oh give me a break! You just don't want to risk running into Madam Sleebaggo and your souvenir - sorry, I mean - "Love child"...
DarthBreezy, I think I speak for all of BlindMan's loyal readers when I say...
BEST IDEA EVER!!!!
If you do decide to do Old Ben/Obi-Wan, BlindMan, rest assured I will be reading from page 1!!!
In the meantime, great job on the latest monologue and post again soon...
Please?
-----signature-----
"For my ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. It's energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you." -Yoda See bio for fics
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piratedreamer
Registered:
May '06
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Date Posted:
6/28/07 3:59pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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 BM, I hate to see the Monologues coming to an end, but as long as you continue to give an outlet to your creative [and quite hilarious] genius here at the Boards, I'll be first in line to read anything new!!! 
-----signature-----
~**On permanent hiatus**~ Proud e-sis to justicejedi! Want to know some great fanfics/fanfic authors you ought to be reading? check out my profile! Ex-padawan of the fantabulous MsLanna!
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astroanna
Registered:
Jul '02
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Date Posted:
6/28/07 6:54pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
- Date Edited:
6/28/07 7:25pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
astroanna
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OK, not to steal BlindMan’s thunder, but I couldn’t resist...
ON THE DUNE SEA
Obi-Wan takes one last lingering look at the baby Luke in Beru’s arms, then, with a deep sigh, turns towards the dusty sands of Tatooine.
When he wakes up the next morning, he spends several long minutes staring at the beige ceiling above him...
Ben: What are you doing?
Obi-Wan: Who’s that?
B: Name’s Ben...what’s up?
OW: ...not much...except that I apparently have gone mad...
B: Not at all...I’m just here to bring you out of this...mood you’re in...
OW: Mood? I’ve just lost my apprentice, my best friend...not to mention the entire Jedi Ord-
B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, no use crying over spilled blue milk, ‘kay there, Obi? What you’ve got to do now is start planning for the future...
OW: And exactly what future would that be?
B: *sigh* So dramatic...listen, buddy, you’re not getting any younger...retirement, college for Luke, those aren’t going to pay for themselves, OK?
OW: Could I maybe get dressed before I start thinking about long-term financial goals, here?
B: If you must....
OW: I have a bad feeling about this.....
OK, OK, so I'm no BlindMan, but hey, if it gets the ball rolling, I don't mind taking a few proverbial tomatoes to the face...
*dons protective helmet*
OK, fire when ready! 
-----signature-----
"For my ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. It's energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you." -Yoda See bio for fics
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BlindMan
Registered:
Nov '01
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Date Posted:
6/30/07 11:52pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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DarthBreezy : A sequel, eh? That's a definite possibility. Must ponder... 
astroanna : Thank you! And no tomatoes from me! 
piratedreamer : No worries, I'll be sticking around the boards.
And here's the latest!
ON CORUSCANT (2):
(After finishing his business at the Jedi Temple, Vader arrives at Padme's apartment, docking his ship at the landing pad.)
ANAKIN: You sure this is the best idea, coming here? She's not going to approve.
VADER: I have to make sure she's all right. I'm doing all this for her, after all.
A: And what do you plan to tell her? "That smoke? Oh, somebody just burned a casserole in the Temple cafeteria. Don't worry about it." Or maybe, "Hey, honey! I just slaughtered the Jedi, and I'm starved. What's for dinner?"
V: Don't be ridiculous. Although now that you mention it, I am rather hungry...
A: Hungry enough to eat Padme's cooking?
V: Hey, her food's not that bad. Besides, I didn't marry her for her cooking.
A: I know. You married her because she's freakin' hot.
V: No, I married her because she's a smart, strong, capable, independent woman.
(pause)
V and A: (in unison) BAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
A: Dude, stop it. You're killing me!
V: Oh, I knew I wouldn't get through that with a straight face...
A: I mean, she *is* all of those things, don't get me wrong...
V: I know, I know. But so freakin' hot...
A: Oh, man...We are complete and total pigs.
V: Oink. Wait, here she comes.
(Vader and Padme embrace. Padme asks what's happening; Vader tells her the Jedi are revolting, and that he saw Master Windu try to assasinate the Chancellor.)
PADME: Oh, Anakin. What are you going to do?
(Vader turns away.)
A: Abandon your ideals, betray everyone you know, and become the most heinous evil the galaxy has ever seen?
V: It sounds so bad when you say it like that.
A: How would it *not* sound bad?
V: It's all in how you spin it. Watch and learn.
A: Oh, please. She is *so* going to give you a swift kick in the power coupling and walk away.
V: Just watch...
(Vader turns back to Padme.)
VADER: (aloud) I will not betray the Republic. My loyalties lie with the Chancellor. And with the Senate. And with you.
V: Damn, I'm smooth.
A: Don't go patting yourself on the back just yet, sport.
(Vader goes on to tell her about his mission for the Chancellor, and asks her to wait for him. They kiss.)
VADER: (aloud) Please, wait for me.
(Vader boards his ship and flies away.)
A: Okay, I've got to admit I'm a bit impressed. You didn't even have to use the Jedi Mind Trick on her.
V: Nah, it wouldn't have worked anyway.
A: Because she's so strong-minded?
V: That...and because chicks are masters of messing with people's minds--I wouldn't have stood a chance!
A: Oink!
Blind Man (donning his asbestos and ducking for cover! )
-----signature-----
Hey! Visit my webpage, "The Rabid Bantha Bar and Grille"! Or don't! : http://www.geocities.com/sightless2/rabidbantha.html -- Check my profile for more stories... "You still got that bag I gave you?"--R2-D2/Cleveland, "Family Guy"
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Healer_Leona
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
7/1/07 6:25am
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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A: I know. You married her because she's freakin' hot.
V: No, I married her because she's a smart, strong, capable, independent woman.
(pause)
V and A: (in unison) BAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Too funny!!!
V: That...and because chicks are masters of messing with people's minds--I wouldn't have stood a chance!
Wow, he really is smart huh?
I would love to see you do a sequel with Obi-Wan. 
-----signature-----
Still crazy after all these years.
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piratedreamer
Registered:
May '06
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Date Posted:
7/1/07 10:15am
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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V: Hey, her food's not that bad. Besides, I didn't marry her for her cooking.
A: I know. You married her because she's freakin' hot.
V: No, I married her because she's a smart, strong, capable, independent woman.
(pause)
V and A: (in unison) BAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Love it, love it, love it!!!! You truly have mastered the art of humor. Can't wait for whatever is next!
~piratedreamer
-----signature-----
~**On permanent hiatus**~ Proud e-sis to justicejedi! Want to know some great fanfics/fanfic authors you ought to be reading? check out my profile! Ex-padawan of the fantabulous MsLanna!
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justicejedi
Registered:
Oct '06
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Date Posted:
7/1/07 5:58pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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I didn't believe him for a second! Thanks for the PM, and a sequel would ROCK!!
-----signature-----
[See icon;username] There's some jedi justice!
Opinions are immunity to being told you're wrong.
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Raptor517
Registered:
Sep '06
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Date Posted:
7/1/07 6:09pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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At least Anakin and Vader are being honest with each other. Loved the deal about the casserole burning.
Raptor517
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BlindMan
Registered:
Nov '01
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Date Posted:
7/1/07 6:19pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
- Date Edited:
7/1/07 6:21pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
BlindMan
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Healer_Leona : Thanks!
piratedreamer : Thank you!
justicejedi : You're quite welcome!
Raptor517 : Well, if they're going to be honest (or even just agree) over anything, I figure it'd be about Padme...
More votes for a sequel, hm?
Blind Man
-----signature-----
Hey! Visit my webpage, "The Rabid Bantha Bar and Grille"! Or don't! : http://www.geocities.com/sightless2/rabidbantha.html -- Check my profile for more stories... "You still got that bag I gave you?"--R2-D2/Cleveland, "Family Guy"
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Fanficfan
Registered:
Jul '05
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Date Posted:
7/2/07 6:21am
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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BlindMan posted:
More votes for a sequel, hm?
Blind Man
Hold up, you're implying that this is a democratic vote. Which in turn implies that if you receive more vote "for" a sequel than you do "against" that you will create one. If this is indeed the case then I would like to place a vote for myself, one for my brother, one fo rmy best mate, and one each for mum, dad, girlfriend, fellow students at TAFE (26), and my dog.
That's 33 all up.
Anyway, loved the latest.
A: I know. You married her because she's freakin' hot.
V: No, I married her because she's a smart, strong, capable, independent woman.
(pause)
V and A: (in unison) BAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Didn't Anakin marry Padme? Then Vader sort of inherited her when he became the dominant personality.
Doesn't matter, as always BlindMan, very funny. And within the time frame that you specified  I'm very proud of you. Eagerly awaiting another Vader Monologue, or Obi monologue.
-----signature-----
Such a sweet little boy,
so innocent,
Who would of guessed he'd grow into...
A bloody cry baby,
And a wife basher.
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Jedi_Master_Cazz
Registered:
Sep '05
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Date Posted:
7/2/07 8:28am
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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Heh heh heh heh! The Power-Coupling! Heh heh heh heh!
Awesome!
Cheers_Cazza 
-----signature-----
If you say plz instead of Please, I'll say No because it's shorter than Yes.
Proud Padawan to Master VaderLV64!
Preparing for Final Exams. Will be on sporatically for the next few immediate months.
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Stargazer-19
Registered:
Dec '04
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Date Posted:
7/2/07 1:18pm
Subject:
RE: The Vader Monologues (humor)
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A: I know. You married her because she's freakin' hot.
V: No, I married her because she's a smart, strong, capable, independent woman.
(pause)
V and A: (in unison) BAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Too Funny. Jedi or Master of Evil, men are always men.
-----signature-----
Magneto: “You wanted us to protect the library. What kind of villain attacks a library?
Xavier: You always did stupid things when you were a villain.
M: Did I ever attack a library?
X: Well, no.
M: Exactly. No self respecting villain attacks a library.
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