Jedi Council Forums - Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Completed

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Author	Topic: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Completed
Jedi-Princess-Solo Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 5/27/02 6:28pm Subject: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Completed - Date Edited: 6/20/02 3:53pm (96 edits total) Edited By: Jedi-Princess-Solo
	The office set up to serve as the pilots' lounge for Rogue, Blackmoon and Twin Suns Squadrons was crowded with pilots celebrating their success-and survival-at Borleias. While most of the people around him were enjoying pre-invasion brandy, Kyp Durron was content sitting in a corner, enjoying the company of his friends. Jag Fel sat to his left, leaning back in his seat with his feet propped up on the edge of the caf table. The Imperial pilot looked more relaxed than Kyp had ever seen him. Not that that's saying much, Kyp thought with a smirk. Jag was far from being as relaxed as most of the pilots gathered, but he had definitely come a long way from the young Colonel Kyp had met at Ithor. The change in Jag, like the change in Kyp himself, he accredited to Jaina Solo, who was sitting beside Jag, engaged in a lively conversation with Tahiri Veila, who completed the circle around the table. Tahiri and Jaina were both smiling, which stirred something in Kyp that he couldn't quite identify. Anakin Solo's untimely death had devastated everyone, but no one had taken it as hard as his sister and his girlfriend. Months later, both girls were beginning to heal. Kyp cared about Tahiri, and not just because she was a fellow Jedi. He liked the kid, and admired her for the way she handled herself against Lord Nyax on Curscant. Luke Skywalker had told them the story when they had returned to Borleias, and Kyp was still amazed at how much Tahiri had grown in so short a period of time. She was technically still a Jedi apprentice, but in Luke's mind, and now in Kyp's, she was already a full fledged Jedi. Kyp only hoped that with the love and support of her friends, she might one day be able to put Anakin's death behind her. Jaina, however, seemed to have found her balance again. Although she still mourned Anakin, and Jacen, too, Kyp sensed a peace in her that had been missing for a long time. It made him feel warm inside to see her smiling, to see her happy. He wasn't Jaina's boyfriend, that was Jag's job, and he wasn't her Master, that would always be Mara, but he was her partner. Kyp wasn't entirely sure what that meant yet, and he doubted Jaina did either, but it felt right. There was a bond between them that was incredibly strong and deep, and Kyp knew Jaina was right-their partnership was until one or the other of them was killed. He only hoped that they could avoid that. He rather liked living, and he suspected Jaina did, too. And while he wasn't sure what exactly he and Jaina were to each other, Kyp knew that he had not cared for anyone the way he did Jaina since his brother's death, and Jaina's love filled the void in his heart. For the first time in what seemed like years, maybe it was years, Kyp felt like he had a family again. "Come in Rogue Jedi..." Kyp blinked and looked up to see Jaina peering at him curiously, her brow knitted in concern. He smiled at her, giving her an apologetic brush with the Force to let her know he was okay. "Sorry, guess I zoned out again." Jaina rolled her eyes. "Males," she said, sharing an exasperated look with Tahiri. The younger girl chuckled softly, the first time Kyp had heard her laugh in months. "I'm sure we could think of a few vices you females have," Jag retorted, the corner of his mouth twitching in amusement. Jaina feigned innocence. "Who? Us?" She batted her eyelashes at him. "Whatever gave you that idea?" Kyp snorted, and had to look away to keep from laughing. When he turned back, Jaina glared at him, and he did laugh. "Sorry," he said. "Only I seem to recall hearing you use that 'Who, us?'line on your father a few times." "A testament to how old you are," Jaina shot back with a wicked smirk. Tahiri covered her mouth with her hand, and Kyp heard muffled laughter filter through her fingers. Before he could make a reply, however, he noticed a familiar figure making his way towards them. "General Antilles," he said with a salute. Wedge nodded at him distractedly. "Hello, Durron." He glanced at Jaina with a decidedly more affectionate look. "Hello, Jaina." "Good to see you again, Wedge," Jaina said with an easy smile that drew one in return. "It's good to be seen at all, after my little skirmish at Borleias," Wedge replied. He turned to Jag and Kyp felt a flicker of weariness through the Force. "Jag, I would like to speak to you in my office." Jag stood at once. "Certainly." He glanced at Jaina. "By your leave, Great One," he said with a slight leer. Jaina waved him away. "Take him, General. He's annoyingly cocky." Jag gave her a small smirk. "I'm not cocky, Exalted One. I'm Corellian." Jaina grinned and Kyp rolled his eyes. Without turning around, Jaina somehow knew and gave him a sharp nudge with the Force, nearly knocking him out of his seat. Jag and Wedge looked at him in confusion, but Tahiri and Jaina both looked away to hide smiles. "I'll come by your quarters when I am finished," Jag told Jaina. When she nodded, he turned and followed his uncle out of the lounge. Jaina watched them go, a frown on her lips. "What?" Tahiri asked her. Jaina shrugged. "I'm not sure. Wedge seemed..." "Uneasy?" Kyp suggested. Jaina nodded. "Like he had some bad news." Kyp was inclined to agree with her from what he'd felt. seeing the worried look on her face, though, he decided not to mention it and hurriedly changed the subject. "You two up for some lightsaber sparring? I think Master Skywalker set up the training room." Tahiri leaned forward eagerly. "Yes," she said with a firm nod. She looked at Jaina questioningly and Jaina stood up, stretching her slender arms over her head. "I'm in, too," she said. She draped her arm over Tahiri's shoulders. "Let's go work out our frustrations on Kyp." -----signature----- "Fight until you can fight no longer, then exhaust the enemy chasing you, and turn and fight some more." -Leia Solo in SbS "Love can ignite the stars..." -RotS novelization "Even the stars die out, Anakin Skywalker..." -RotS novelization
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Kathryn Registered: May '02	Date Posted: 5/27/02 7:45pm Subject: RE: Devotion (post RS)
	Very cool beginning. Some funny lines. And I sense trouble to come, yes. More soon? -----signature----- "What can a King ask of a man like me?" "A better world than has ever been seen. A kingdom of conscience. A kingdom of Heaven."
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Jedi-Princess-Solo Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 5/27/02 8:09pm Subject: RE: Devotion (post RS)
	I am finishing up the next chapter now -----signature----- "Fight until you can fight no longer, then exhaust the enemy chasing you, and turn and fight some more." -Leia Solo in SbS "Love can ignite the stars..." -RotS novelization "Even the stars die out, Anakin Skywalker..." -RotS novelization
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Jedi-Princess-Solo Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 5/27/02 8:48pm Subject: Devotion (post RS) (5/27) - Date Edited: 3/30/03 10:15am (3 edits total) Edited By: Jedi-Princess-Solo
	Jaina sighed wearily as she entered the code to her room. After a long and exhausting duel with Kyp, and some sparring with Tahiri, she was tired and ready for a nice, long shower and a couple hours of sleep. The door slid open and she stepped into the room-only to come to a dead halt just inside the doorway. Although the room was dark, she could feel his presence, and the clouded emotions surrounding him. "Jag?" she asked, using the Force to turn on the lights. He was sitting on her bed, his back to her, staring at a holo of her and her brothers, taken just after they escaped Thrackran Sal-Solo. For a moment Jaina's thoughts slid dangerously close to a memory of rocking her little brother in her arms, telling him it would be okay, that she would protect him always. Steering herself away from the bitter reminder that she had failed to protect Anakin in the end, Jaina took a step closer to Jag, but he didn't seem to know she was there. Frowning, she reached out with the Force to gently probe his presence, and was slammed by a wall of tortured grief and guilt. She staggered back and reached out a hand to brace herself on the wall. "Jag?" she repeated, her voice breaking. He looked up at her, his pale green eyes distant and full of pain. "Jaina," he rasped so softly she barely heard him. "What is it?" she asked, moving to sit beside him on the bed. "What's wrong?" Jag looked down at his lap and was silent for a long moment, and Jaina sensed he was trying to gather himself together enough to speak. "Shawnkyr is dead," he finally said in a quiet, choked voice. "She was shot down at Borleias." For a moment Jaina was stunned. The Chiss female was too good of a pilot to have been shot down. You know that's not true, Jaina scolded herself. Even the best have been shot down during this war. As she shook aside her own disbelief, Jag's sorrow rolled over her in waves, and she felt tears sting her eyes. "Jag," she breathed. "I'm sorry." She slid her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek to his chest. "I'm so sorry." She felt Jag's arms rise to embrace her tightly, and his chin come to rest atop of her head. They held the embrace for a long moment, Jag's shoulders shaking with silent tears, and Jaina held him closer. After a few moments his shaking stopped, but the turmoil in Jag's soul only grew, and Jaina got the impression that there was more to Jag's sorrow than just Shawnkyr's death. She pulled away and met Jag's gaze searchingly. "What is it?" she asked softly, not sure she wanted to know. There was so much pain in his eyes, so much guilt and uncertainty, that she knew something bad was about to happen. Jag reached a hand to touch her cheek and she felt his fingers trembling. He brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear and brought his hand to rest along the curve of her jawline. "I made Shawnkyr a promise on Borleias. I gave her my word." He looked at her expectantly, and she nodded that she understood what that meant. "What did you promise her?" Jaina asked, her voice quaking. Jag's expression twisted into one of turmoil. Jaina's hands began to shake and she suddenly found it hard to breathe. "I promised her that I would fulfill her duty." Jaina swallowed hard, her heart pounding against her chest furiously. "What-" she began, but he voice broke. "What does that mean?" "That means-" Jag swallowed, taking a deep breath and Jaina knew, even before he told her. "It means I have to return home." -----signature----- "Fight until you can fight no longer, then exhaust the enemy chasing you, and turn and fight some more." -Leia Solo in SbS "Love can ignite the stars..." -RotS novelization "Even the stars die out, Anakin Skywalker..." -RotS novelization
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Jedi-Princess-Solo Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 5/28/02 10:59am Subject: RE: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Updated: 5/28 - Date Edited: 5/30/02 8:56am (2 edits total) Edited By: Jedi-Princess-Solo
	For a long moment, Jaina didn't say anything. She closed her eyes and used a Jedi calming technique to soothe the panic threatening to overtake her. She was aware of Jag leaning close to her, could feel his concern, but she could not focus on him. Not yet. Not until she could open her eyes without crying. He promised he wouldn't leave, she thought, her breath catching in her throat. Part of her wanted to be angry at him for breaking his promise, but she knew it was irrational to think like that. He didn't want to leave, she knew that for certain, but he had given Shawnkyr his word, and if there was one thing Jaina knew about Jag it was that he always stuck to his word. "I'm sorry," Jag said softly, startling Jaina out of her meditation. She opened her eyes to see his face inches from hers. His pale green eyes bore into hers. "I don't want to go. I want to stay here, with you." Jaina felt like demanding that he did, then, but she resisted the urge and nodded, unable to find her voice. Jag touched her cheek tenderly. "I want nothing more than to stay with you, but I have to go. I gave her my word, and I owe it to her to return home and give my father a report. I've been putting it off because I didn't want to leave you." "I know," Jaina said softly, her voice seeming small and weak even to her own ears. "And I know you have to go. I won't ask you to stay, even though I want to." Jag gave her hand a grateful squeeze. "Thank you. I don't know that I could go if you did." They sat in silence for a long moment, each wrapped up in the bleak situation before them. Neither wanted to part, but both knew they had to. It was logical, and, to honor Shawnkyr's memory, it was necessary. And if Jag could persuade the Chiss to send military support, it would be a great addition to the resistance movement. Both Jaina and Jag knew that he had to go, for many reasons, but that did little to ease the turmoil in either of their hearts. "I'll be back," Jag promised, meeting her gaze. "I promise you. I won't stay away a moment longer than I have to." "What if your father forbids you to come back?" Jaina asked hoarsely. Jag's eyes bore into hers with an intensity that should have made her shiver, except she was already shaking. "Nothing will keep me from coming back to you. I swear it." His thumb brushed across her cheekbone and only then did Jaina realize she was crying. Jag's face contorted in pain and he leaned closer, kissing her cheek. "Please don't cry." "I can't help it," Jaina said truthfully. "You're going away and I don't know if I'll ever see you again." Or if we'll both be killed before you can come back, she added to herself, unwilling to voice the horrible truth. The thought of not being together if-or when, more likely-one or both of them was killed was agony. She hadn't believed that Jag's eyes could look anymore tortured until that moment. "You will," he said softly. "No one can stop me from seeing you again, not even the Yuuzhan Vong. I'll only be gone for a while, you won't even notice I'm gone." Although they both knew that wasn't true, neither chose to argue the point. "And we'll both survive these next few weeks and then we can be together again." So the thought of not being there when she was in danger, or killed, was as terrible for him as it was for her. "What if we have to leave Mon Calamari?" she asked, steering away from the morbid image of Jag's clawcraft being shot down. "What if we have to leave before you get back?" "Then I'll find you," Jag promised, stroking her cheek. "No matter what, I'll find you." Jaina swallowed back tears, and reached a trembling hand to caress his cheek. "I know you will," she said quietly, trying to sound more certain, though she felt anything but. "When do you have to leave?" Jag sighed, and Jaina felt his longing through their Force bond. "Tomorrow. My uncle gave me clearance to leave at sunrise." Jaina nodded, wishing they could have more time than the few hours until his departure time. She was getting similar thoughts off of Jag, so she wasn't surprised when he bent his head to capture her lips in a gentle, passionate kiss. She snaked her arms around his neck, pulling herself against him. "I'd like to be carried away," she said softly. Jag smiled. "I have the time if you do." "I don't care if I have the time or not," Jaina replied honestly, pressing her lips to his. She felt Jag lean back onto the bed, taking her with him. She forced all thoughts of his leaving out of her mind, and let herself loose herself in his kisses. -----signature----- "Fight until you can fight no longer, then exhaust the enemy chasing you, and turn and fight some more." -Leia Solo in SbS "Love can ignite the stars..." -RotS novelization "Even the stars die out, Anakin Skywalker..." -RotS novelization
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Kathryn Registered: May '02	Date Posted: 5/28/02 11:30am Subject: RE: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Updated: 5/28
	sniff I knew it! They're gonna be OK. They'll be back together and everything's will be OK. Right? Right? Actually, it wouldn't be bad if they weren't - just don't kill one of them, please. Anyway, great post. More soon? -----signature----- "What can a King ask of a man like me?" "A better world than has ever been seen. A kingdom of conscience. A kingdom of Heaven."
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DarthSnuggles1121 Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 5/28/02 11:44am Subject: RE: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Updated: 5/28
	Awww, that was beautiful!!! sniff The mush was great! When can we have more? -----signature----- "Logic is the beginning of wisdom, Valeris, not the end."
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Jedi-Princess-Solo Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 5/28/02 12:28pm Subject: RE: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Updated: 5/28
	There will definately be another post up sometime this evening, maybe two if I can finish the second one -----signature----- "Fight until you can fight no longer, then exhaust the enemy chasing you, and turn and fight some more." -Leia Solo in SbS "Love can ignite the stars..." -RotS novelization "Even the stars die out, Anakin Skywalker..." -RotS novelization
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Jade243 Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 5/28/02 1:45pm Subject: RE: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Updated: 5/28
	Excellent story, Solo I'll be waiting for the next part(s) -----signature----- 'Yes... this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land.' 'I think we should call it your grave.' 'Ah. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.' 'Hahaha. Mine is an evil laugh.'
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Jedi-Princess-Solo Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 5/28/02 2:48pm Subject: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Updated: 5/28 Twice - Date Edited: 5/28/02 3:01pm (3 edits total) Edited By: Jedi-Princess-Solo
	Jag Fel finished packing his flight bag and took one last glance around his room to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. He knew that his room would probably be reassigned, at least for the duration of his absence, and he didn't want to leave anything behind. Anything else, that is, he reminded himself with a bitter sigh. He wished he had not made that promise to Shawnkyr, or better yet, that she had not died at Borleias. He hated leaving Jaina, especially now, when things were so uncertain and she could be captured or killed at any moment. And he would be light-years away, helpless to do anything for her. Jag Fel hated feeling helpless. Shaking his head clear of those thoughts, he swung his bag over his shoulder, casting a glance out his transparisteel window. The skyline was dark, but the small pinpoint of light on the horizon was beginning to grow brighter and larger. He needed to get going, the sun would be up before long, and with it the inhabitants of the base. Particularly one inhabitant that he could not bear to say goodbye to. He walked out of his room and down the corridor, and found himself stopped outside of Jaina's door. Although he did not want to say goodbye to her, he desperately wanted to see her before he left. She's still asleep, a voice in his head argued. Just peek in and look at her before you go. Before he could change his mind, Jag entered the access code and stepped into her room. It was dark, but he could make out her sleeping form under the bedsheet, exactly where he had left her a few hours ago when he'd discreetly slipped out to pack his belongings. Moving with quiet steps, Jag made his way to the bed and knelt down so her could see Jaina's face. She looked so peaceful that Jag couldn't help but smile. There was an innocence about her in sleep that was misleading. She didn't look like a skilled pilot or a powerful Jedi Knight, she looked like an angel, and it made Jag's heart swell. He reached out a hand to brush a loose strand of hair from her face, tucking it under the mass of disheveled hair on her pillow, and letting his hand rest on her cheek. "I'll be back," he whispered. "I promise." He leaned in carefully and placed a gentle kiss on her cheekbone. She stirred, her nose crinkling as she shifted towards him, but did not wake up. Jag smiled to himself, stroking her cheek one last time, then stood and opened his duffel bag. He pulled out the holomessage he had recorded for her in his room and placed it on the stand beside her bed. He had recorded it so that he could leave a piece of himself behind, with her, and he hoped it would bring her some comfort while he was gone. He turned and strode back across the room, stopping at the door. He glanced back over his shoulder at Jaina, his heart catching in his throat. "I'll be back," he repeated, more to himself than to her. He opened the door and whispered, "I love you." Then he stepped out into the hallway, the door sliding shut behind him, and he leaned against the wall. He took a few deep breaths to gather his composure. You have to go, he ordered himself. You promised Shawnkyr. You gave her your word. Another part of him was raging, telling him to forget his promise. No one would ever know, it said. You could just stay here, with Jaina. You could look after her and protect her and hold her and no one would ever know. "But I would know," he muttered to himself, shaking his head. "Having conversations with yourself?" a familiar voice asked. Jag looked up to see his uncle standing at the end of the corridor. "Uncle," he said, straightening quickly. Wedge smiled. "Your powers of observation are astounding, Jag." Jag couldn't help the small smile that crossed his lips. "Thank you, sir." "Are you ready to leave?" Wedge asked, his smile fading. Jag nodded. "Yes, sir." He gestured at his bag. "I was about to head to the hangar." "I'll walk with you," Wedge offered, heading for the turbolift. Jag followed, easily matching his uncle's pace. They continued in silence as the turbolift carried them down towards the hangar, and Wedge studied him appraisingly. After a long moment, Wedge said, "I know it's not easy to say goodbye, even when it's only for a while, but if it makes it any easier, she'll be alright." Jag looked up in surprise. He searched his uncle's eyes until realization dawned on him. "You know?" Wedge nodded, a small smirk tugging at his lips. "How could I not? It's completely obvious, no matter how hard you two try to keep anyone from noticing." Jag didn't know what to say, so he merely nodded as they entered the hangar. "It's difficult to be apart," Wedge sympathized. "When Curscant was attacked, I had to leave without Iella and the girls. They got off in time, of course, but I didn't know that at the time. There was a long period of time that I didn't know what had become of them, and it was unbearable. The thought of not being there when they were in danger, or worse, killed, was horrifying." Jag was careful to keep his expression clear "How did you handle it?" he asked quietly. His uncle looked at him as they came to a halt next to Jag's clawcraft. "Military discipline has some benefits," he confessed with a small smile. His smile faded and he met Jag's gaze with serious eyes. "It's not going to be easy, Jag. The worry eats at you like a starving rancor. The uncertainty, the fear, you can't help it. What you can do is remember that you have a job to do. While you're out in the Unknown Regions, you just have to keep telling yourself that you can't help her, that you can't be there to protect her all the time, but that you can help protect others by convincing the Chiss to send military support." Jag nodded. "I truly hope I can convince them. We should be fighting the Yuuzhan Vong with everything we have, not waiting until they are directly upon us." Wedge clasped his shoulder. "Just do your best, Jag. And come back as soon as you can. You're too good of a pilot to loose, and I don't think Her Greatness will be very pleased if you don't return soon." Jag extended his hand, which Wedge grasped firmly. "Watch her back, Uncle." "Don't worry about Jaina Solo," Wedge assured him. "She can take care of herself just fine. And with so many Jedi around, I think they can keep her out of trouble." Jag sincerely hoped so, but a nagging doubt in the back of his mind knew better. He let Wedge embrace him in a strong hug, which he returned, then stepped back. "Good luck here, General," he said, as he climbed into the cockpit of his clawcraft. He didn't hear Wedge reply, "Good luck to you, too, Jag. I have a feeling you're going to need it." -----signature----- "Fight until you can fight no longer, then exhaust the enemy chasing you, and turn and fight some more." -Leia Solo in SbS "Love can ignite the stars..." -RotS novelization "Even the stars die out, Anakin Skywalker..." -RotS novelization
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Jedi-Princess-Solo Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 5/28/02 3:33pm Subject: RE: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Updated: 5/28 Twice
	Well, there's part four. What did you guys think? Kathryn:Don't worry, I could never kill Jag or Jaina And he'll be back... eventually. DSnuggles:Thanks I'm really glad you liked it. Jade:Thank you very much I am working on the next post now, so it will either be up tonight or tommorrow -----signature----- "Fight until you can fight no longer, then exhaust the enemy chasing you, and turn and fight some more." -Leia Solo in SbS "Love can ignite the stars..." -RotS novelization "Even the stars die out, Anakin Skywalker..." -RotS novelization
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Jade243 Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 5/28/02 3:57pm Subject: RE: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Updated: 5/28 Twice
	ahhh Another excellent post More soon? -----signature----- 'Yes... this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land.' 'I think we should call it your grave.' 'Ah. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.' 'Hahaha. Mine is an evil laugh.'
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DarthSnuggles1121 Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 5/28/02 4:08pm Subject: RE: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Updated: 5/28 Twice
	Awww, that was great! But how will she know he loves her?! She'll find out, right? Right?! Anyhoo, wonderful post! -----signature----- "Logic is the beginning of wisdom, Valeris, not the end."
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Jedi-Princess-Solo Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 5/28/02 10:06pm Subject: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Updated: 5/29 - Date Edited: 5/28/02 10:10pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Jedi-Princess-Solo
	Luke Skywalker reached out with the Force and focused on the energy field shimmering before him. With a hard mental shove, he pushed past it and into Jaina Solo's room. His niece sat in the transparisteel alcove, her knees hugged to her chest, gazing out at the horizon. She was wearing a pair of black fighting pants and a large white shirt that had once been Anakin's, with her hair pulled back in a thick but simple braid that hung down her back. Though he could not see her face, Luke could imagine the pained expression there. "You weren't supposed to be able to do it," Jaina said accusingly, not turning around. Luke smiled slightly. "Did you think I would teach you kids how to do it if I couldn't undo it? You would have used it all the time to escape punishment." Jaina didn't reply, so Luke moved to stand beside her. He studied her profile in silence, noting with a pang of sorrow the similarity her features held to both Anakin and Jacen's. He turned his head and followed her gaze to the Calamari horizon, patiently waiting for her to speak. His patience paid of a few minutes later. "He left," Jaina said quietly. Two words, with a thousand more carrying over through their Force bond. "I know," Luke said softly. "I'm sorry." Jaina nodded, accepting his sympathy. "So am I." She looked at him curiously, and Luke felt her gently probing him for his intentions. He drew back the shroud he wore around his presence and watched her face carefully. She sighed and looked down at her feet. "I suppose this talk has been coming for a while, hasn't it?" "It has," Luke agreed, sitting beside her on the window sill. Jaina nodded to herself, then met his gaze. "I failed you, Master. I let my anger and my pain lead me astray and lost myself in the dark side's grip." Luke was pleased that she did not try to run from the conversation. That she had initiated it only proved how much she had grown over the past few months. "You are not the only one who has walked that path." "I know," Jaina replied. "I know Master Solusar and Master Durron have, as well. And I know that you, too, fell into to dark side's clutches for a time." "I sense a 'but' coming," Luke said evenly. Jaina bit her lip. "I am the granddaughter of Darth Vader." "You are the granddaughter of Anakin Skywalker," Luke corrected firmly. "I can see his shadow, Uncle Luke. It's all around me. In my dreams I see him, as he was before he became a Sith Lord. I see him when he was my age. I can't see his face really, but I know it's him. There's so much pain in his heart, so much grief and anger and hatred for his enemies." Jaina shook her head gently. "I see so much of myself in him." Quietly, she added, "I see what I could become." Luke was silent for a moment. Until Anakin's death, he had always assumed if any of the Solo children were to fall prey to the dark side, it would be impulsive, brash Anakin. Lately, though, Luke had come to realize that it was not the grandchild who had inherited Anakin Skywalker's name, but his temper, who was perhaps the most like the man who had become Darth Vader. "You have put the dark side behind you, Jaina," Luke said. "I can see that when I look at you through the Force. You won't fall again." Jaina nodded. "I think you're right," she agreed. "However, 'the future is always in motion', is it not?" Luke managed a small smile. "Touche." "Zekk was right," Jaina said softly. "About a lot of things, but one thing in particular. When he kept us from entering the temple on Yavin Four after the defeat of the Shadow Academy, he told me that the dark side was like a scar. That you could cover it up all you wanted, but it never really went away. He was right." "No," Luke agreed. "It doesn't go away." Jaina looked at him in surprise, and Luke realized that she had been expecting him to disagree. He suddenly regretted that he had never openly discussed his own fall to the dark side with her, or with her brothers. "I still have scars from my own experience with the dark side, so does your Aunt Mara. The same goes for Kam and Kyp, as well. The things that we did while under the influence of the dark side stay with us for the rest of our lives, and that's a good thing." Jaina looked at him incredulously. "How do you plot that course?" Luke smiled. "Because we have those memories, those painful reminders of how wicked and strong the dark side is, we can keep ourselves from falling prey to it again. And we can try to keep others from doing the same." "I'm sorry I let you down, Uncle Luke," Jaina said softly. Luke shook his head. "You didn't let me down, Jaina. You fought the dark side's temptations and won. You tasted dark power and were strong enough to resist it and turn away from it." He met her gaze steadily. "You could not have made me more proud." Jaina's cheeks flushed and she looked away. "I was weak. I let my grief overwhelm me." "You lost your brothers," Luke said. "No one could expect you not to grieve." "I'm not the only one who has lost loved ones," Jaina replied. "No one else has turned to the dark side." "Yet," Luke reminded her with a weak smile. Jaina's lips twitched slightly. "Yet," she agreed. She sighed and looked out the window. "Anakin and Jacen are both gone, Uncle Luke, and they're never coming back." "Your mother believes Jacen is still alive," Luke reminded her. Jaina met his gaze, her brandy brown eyes intense. "Do you?" Luke hesitated, then let his shoulders slump. "No," he said quietly. "Neither do I," Jaina said simply, turning her gaze back out the window. Luke watched her for a long moment, studying her with his eyes and with the Force. Her eyes were framed with redness and lacked their usual brandy brown luster, and a terrible sadness clouded his perception of her through the Force. Reaching out a hand to rest on her knee, he said softly, "I can't begin to understand what it must be like for you, to loose Jacen. I can only imagine if I lost your mother..." Jaina nodded. "You would feel like you'd been cut in half, like half of you was gone." Luke bit his lip as his own grief over the loss of his nephews was enhanced by the horrible thought of loosing Leia. Although he and Leia had not been raised together as Jacen and Jaina had, they hadn't even met until they were eighteen, Luke and his twins sister shared a bond like no other, one that both supported and sustained him. He could not imagine living if her presence was suddenly gone. "It was harder with Anakin, in a way," Jaina confessed softly. "I actually felt him die. I felt the Yuuzhan Vong reach deep into my chest and tear him out of me. It was like the part of me that was Anakin died along with him, and in its place is this cold, empty space, and it's never going to heal." "No," Luke agreed hoarsely, his own chest aching. "It won't. But it will get better." Jaina looked at him doubtfully. "How?" "I don't know," Luke admitted. "I just know it will." They sat in silence for a long time, and then Jaina spoke, her voice quiet and soft, bringing to mind the mental image of a much younger Jaina Solo. "Uncle Luke?" "Yes?" Luke asked softly. "I miss my brothers," Jaina said, her voice breaking. "I miss them so much." Luke enfolded her into a hug and she buried her face in his shoulder. "I know, Jaina," he said hoarsely. "I miss them, too." -----signature----- "Fight until you can fight no longer, then exhaust the enemy chasing you, and turn and fight some more." -Leia Solo in SbS "Love can ignite the stars..." -RotS novelization "Even the stars die out, Anakin Skywalker..." -RotS novelization
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Jade243 Registered: Mar '02	Date Posted: 5/28/02 10:12pm Subject: RE: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Updated: 5/29
	Great post, Solo -----signature----- 'Yes... this is a fertile land, and we will thrive. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land.' 'I think we should call it your grave.' 'Ah. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal.' 'Hahaha. Mine is an evil laugh.'
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DarthSnuggles1121 Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 5/29/02 8:02am Subject: RE: Devotion(post RS)- Jaina/Jag; Updated: 5/29
	Oh, wow!! That was incredible, Solo! It was so emotional, really tearing at your heartstrings. You're a great writer, keep it up! -----signature----- "Logic is the beginning of wisdom, Valeris, not the end."
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