Yarael Poof and this forum are dead. But they both live on in our hearts.
Author Topic: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke & Padme) Author's Note, 5/24/05!
Mieko_Amidala 
Registered: Sep '02
14561_Padme
Date Posted: 9/5/04 6:36am Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke and Padme) NEW 4/16! Side-Story!
I disappear for over a year and Meredith still hasn't updated her fics. cry

At least her writing's worth it. happy

 

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SilSolo 
Registered: Mar '04
24177_Chiss Jedi
Date Posted: 9/5/04 11:21am Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke and Padme) NEW 4/16! Side-Story!
Whoa you posted this here? Well Master Solo is back watching your awesome story.

 

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SarkaVrae 
Title: PR Emeritus Chattanooga
Registered: Jun '04
46149_Inara Serra
Date Posted: 9/16/04 7:35pm Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke and Padme) NEW 4/16! Side-Story!
up!

Meredith dear, haven't you left us hanging long enough? I think you win the suspense award! happy

 

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http://www.connooga.com TEH BESTEST CON EVAR!
are you crazy? it's a very dangerous thing to do exactly what you want
TwiLekJedi is so silly
"I will sin my own sins, with my eyes open"
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SarkaVrae 
Title: PR Emeritus Chattanooga
Registered: Jun '04
46149_Inara Serra
Date Posted: 10/7/04 3:07pm Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke and Padme) NEW 4/16! Side-Story!
*peeps in to see if Meredith has escaped from DRL, kicks the thread back up, and sneaks out*

 

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http://www.connooga.com TEH BESTEST CON EVAR!
are you crazy? it's a very dangerous thing to do exactly what you want
TwiLekJedi is so silly
"I will sin my own sins, with my eyes open"
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NickStarwalker 
Registered: Dec '02
20060_Anakin Skywalker
Date Posted: 10/14/04 10:53pm Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke and Padme) NEW 4/16! Side-Story!
Up. Please update Meredith.

 

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Mystralgurl 
Registered: Oct '04
14754_Mistryl Shadow Guard
Date Posted: 10/15/04 10:30am Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke and Padme) NEW 4/16! Side-Story!
Hey Meredith,

I just started on the message boards and I was wondering if your story is finished? I would like to read the rest if it's not, so please hurry up!

 

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Finally writing again...
Child of the Shadows: http://boards.theforce.net/Message.aspx?topic=28428878&brd=10476&start=28428884
Sorry, my brain was thinking one thing, and my mouth was saying the same. - Me, after accidentally insulting my mother
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Meredith_B_Mallory 
Registered: Oct '01
19238_Padmé Skywalker
Date Posted: 11/11/04 3:54pm Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke and Padme) NEW 4/16! Side-Story!
Don't faint or anything. This is an ACTUAL POST. As in, more of the story. *confused look* I know! I can't believe it either, but there it is.

I have to thank each and every one of you for your patience with me. I'm terribly slow, and my muse is known to be fickle, but you guys have hung in there. You're all absolutely awesome!

Thanks, as always, go to my beta, the adorable Leia_N, and to my Leigh-darling, who keeps me in line and only lets me raid the liquor cabinet for medicinal purposes. wink

That said, I'll shut up and let you read the post.

=============================
The Widow Skywalker 4a/?
by Meredith Bronwen Mallory
mallorys-girl@cinci.rr.com
http://www.demando.net/
=============================


Padme sat on her knees, staring into the small hearth fire; into the center of the flames, where blue became white and white became all colors, as well as the absence of. Luke's gaze was on her, not heavy, but a gentle, furtive thing, calling awareness like a breeze. 'My son!' she thought, turning the words over in her mind, feeling them clamor against her vocal chords. Just minutes ago he had stood in her doorway, the past made flesh; he had embraced her and asked for her name. Tears were still streaming down her face, slow and heated-- she did not bother to wipe them away, or pay them any heed at all. Such a shyness in his eyes, as he'd helped her gather the fallen harvest and, as he'd turned to find the scattered fruits, the sun had throw shadows that seemed to make time immaterial. There was a laughter in her-- sobs, as well, and she was afraid to release either. On Naboo, mothers gave their infants nursing names like 'little bird' or 'grass cat', lest the jealous, self-devouring goddess be tempted to snatch the child back.

Biting her lip, Padme met those blue eyes. Their color was so like Anakin's and yet, there was an air of age in Luke's depths that his father had seemed to shun. She wondered at those slim, young shoulders, at the careful poise in his demeanor. In another moment, he smiled, and there was a pain in her heart. Anakin's face had always been transformed by his endearing grin, but he had remarked the same thing of her. With his hand gently tracing the line of her jaw, he'd brushed her hair back against her veil and said that he far preferred her smile to the solemn bride; someone girlish, someone just as nervous as he. She reached out, gently touching Luke's hand, before she turned back to her cooking. The act was as much for her comfort as it was for his; there were so many shadows-- she could see in his eyes that he knew it too!-- that it was sometimes hard to believe that they had not simply, at last, taken on flesh and form. As she reached for the bowl of oshiibara, he handed it too her helpfully, with just a little color in his cheeks. Artoo rocked a little nearby, beeping softly, fire turning the silver reflection of his dome to copper.
"You are good luck," she said to the little droid.
"He saved my life," Luke offered, adding sheepishly, "more than once." He looked down at his gloved hand briefly, rubbing the fingers together, features obscured by the mist of his thoughts. Padme studied him openly, before moving a little closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry," she said, feeling as if those words were cracking, breaking under the weight of all they were trying to hold. "Oh, Luke." His eyes were unguarded when he raised them to hers. He was so much more than simply Anakin's son, so much more than a young man.
"I was afraid to even think about having a mother, when I was a little boy," he said quietly. Gently, she touched the burnt-sand locks at the base of his neck, to ease the passage of the words. "I just... from the way Uncle Owen reacted when I asked about my father, I guess I was just afraid. If I said nothing... if I asked nothing, you could be everywhere. You could be out there, looking for me."
"I had to make myself not think of you." The blur of her tears made the world a melting landscape, but she felt that she could still see him. "No one could know you were mine. And when you were gone..." Helplessly, she moved her hands, as if to try and sort out the pieces. Taking a breath, she took one of the lopsided bulbs of oshiibara into her hands. The peeling was instinctual and comforting; the layers of her heart were not so easily pierced. It was as if her internal landscape had been utterly changed by some cataclysm; in the wasteland, there were no landmarks, and even half-familiar lines seemed unbearably changed. "I couldn't look for you. Keeping you and Leia safe was the most important thing."
Carefully, Luke took one of the meaty bulbs into his own hands, mimicking her as she peeled. Even that small thing brought tiny needles to congregate in her throat; the image of a small boy, in another woman's kitchen, standing on his tiptoes for a taste. His eyes flashed with a strange sympathy, "There are so many questions. I used to be so angry, because I wasn't allowed to ask questions. Now I find that ever answer I get only leads to ten more."


"Obiwan took you to Tatooine," Padme said, as if committing the words to some inner monologue, some long oral tradition that apprentices learned, painstakingly, around the fire. At the small start the rippled through his body, she said simply, "He thought it would be best if I didn't know where you were at all. That way, I could never be made to betray you--"
"You never betrayed Leia," Luke said with a sudden intensity. He looked out, through the clay threshold and into the violet Koe night, as if expecting someone. "I was so in awe of Ben..." he shook his head, "of Obiwan, when I first met him. He offered everything I'd always longed for. Answers, purpose, a chance to get off that dustball." His smile, while not bitter, but lacked nostalgia. It was, instead, full of a strange, half-born resentment towards a young boy who didn't not know how rich he was. "He lied to me-- and he never even admitted it! He just said that it was the truth, from--"
"From a certain point of view," Padme finished, turning away to fetch some water. "It's convenient, isn't it?" She dipped the ladle into deep jar, quick to disturb any smoothing of the surface. Luke watched her; a creature of brilliance that moved easily in the shadows, as if they heeded some command that they could not touch her. "I can't judge him, as much as I might be tempted to. We none of us have much to be proud of, from back then." Returning with the bowl, she dumped the peeled bulbs into the water, watching as they began to simmer. Silence stretched between them, full of different threads, of a knowledge that things could as easily come undone as they could be woven together.


Gracefully, Padme sat back, drawing her knees close, continuing the soft, tentative story. "He took you to Tatooine, and left you with Owen and Beru Lars."
Luke nodded slowly, "You knew them." Not a question.
"Not too well," Padme admitted. "Owen is..." she searched his face, and at last cupped his cheek. "_Was_," she corrected, compassion in each changing shade of her eyes, "your father's stepbrother. I knew Beru when they were just engaged. She was a kind woman. A good woman." Luke looked away, but she gently directed his gaze back to her own eyes. Even after Anakin had turned, Padme had recognized the valleys and canyons behind his eyes. Her son's gaze held unknown territory, full of strange and heavy roads. She felt overwhelmed; she would never know all the things that had happened between her bright, hope-filled child and this strong, sorrowful young man. "Luke," she said earnestly, "you were the son Beru could not have. You were what she wanted, so desperately. I know this, I can assure you of this. She loved you."
"It's my fault," he said in a broken whisper, "if I'd been there... Ben-- Obiwan, said I only would have been killed with them, but somehow, I've always felt..." He leaned into her touch, "It was all so pointless. They didn't even know they had something they weren't supposed to." He nodded vaguely towards Artoo. Now they sat, shoulder to shoulder, in the dimly lit room. The few, iridescent night-birds of Koe flickering out against the deepening sky, throwing brief shapes through the window.
"If anyone should have been given charge of you, it was Beru." The pot over the fire hissed, and she moved forward, briefly, to stir the contents. "Obiwan got that right, at least."
"I did ask her about you, once. She just said that the spirits are eager to take the kind and gentle into their ranks. Owen-- didn't say anything." He paused, perhaps meaning to spare her, but she knew the rest of the old saying. 'The devils in the deeps like the meat on their bones to be old and spoiling. They bide their time.'
"Your uncle had good reason to be so dour," she sighed softly, "he was trying to protect you, in his own way. He and Anakin were... well, to say they were dissimilar would be a vast understatement." Luke laughed, just a huff, and very soft.


At last, the pot began to boil precariously, and Padme draped two old rags over her hands, removing it from the hearth. She had to hunt around a little for an extra dish, and she ladled out a portion for each of them. Luke ate hungrily, a little embarrassed, but earnestly complimenting the taste.
"Oshiibara is a very useful crop," Padme said, laughing softly when Artoo began to clean up, moving his small claw carefully in the limited space. "You can eat it raw or cook it at least twenty different ways. It's slow to rot, the taste doesn't get old, and it's easy to grow."
"Have you been here all this time?" Luke asked, looking down. She sensed a carefulness in his expression, and realized he did not want her to think he was demanding an explanation.
"For eight years," she murmured, after a moments thought. "Before that, there was the prison, and..." Even after all this time, it was difficult for her to think of it in passing-- there were pains and images and tears so deeply imbedded in the very word that it seemed to roll over her, like a strong storm wave. "Well," she managed with dignity, "the last time I saw Leia was when she was five." Leaning forward a little, she asked, "How did you know, Luke? How did you find each other?"
"By accident," Luke made a motion with his real hand, "just like this. Obiwan must have known, but he never said anything... she was a girl I met. A princess I rescued--" he grinned, "er, she sort of rescued herself, though. And then, after a while, she was the best friend I ever had." His look was fond, focused on something in the past. "Somehow, I always knew."
"You were so close, even as infants," Padme took his empty plate, setting it aside to be washed. "I always had to pick both of you up. Always poking each other, just as apt to put the others hand in your mouth as you were your own." Her eyes darkened, lashes obscuring them, "She screamed so, when you were gone. She knew what had been taken from her." There was a wonder on Luke's face, and Padme imagined that it was a reflection of that very first time he'd thought, 'I have a sister.' He looked at her, and Padme has to force herself to meet steady consideration; she did not feel worthy of such gratitude or amazement.
"You're really here," he said finally.
She swallowed hard, "Yes." Taking him into her arms, she pressed her nose into his fine hair. He tightened his arms around her, and she felt rather than heard his sob, careful sobs. "My son," she murmured, rocking him gently, "oh, Force, what have I done, to be granted such a boon?"






Late in the moonless Koe night, Luke lay on his bedroll, gazing past the fire towards the silhouette of his mother, sleeping in the curved basin that served as her bed. Even in the dim light, he could see the rise and fall of her chest under the faded quilts, could see the way Artoo flickered his faint blue light over each of them in turn, as if trying to keep watch. They had spoken long hours, pausing to bank the fire, or to stir in their own silences, waiting for words to come. Finally, they had conceded to the far-off chime of Clockwork City's lone tower. He could still feel the soft press of her lips on his cheek-- could imagine their fellows from his babyhood lingering there, unseen. Sleep clamored over him, loosening his limbs, but he fought it, drawing on the force. After Bespin, he'd fought the land of dreams with a manic determination; each night was full of shapes he did not want to see, words he could not deny. Sometimes, he felt his own internal wanderings touch upon Vader's. Upon father's.

(Confusing images, lines of blood, all wrong. A man's voice, shouting the name his father had once borne, crying 'No!'. Triple moons, wavering, sinking in a sea of red sand. The sound of a lightsaber, slicing through cloth and flesh. Or else darkening shades shades, terrible blues, covering the once-bright fields of a verdant land. A woman crying, reaching out a window... Fire and death and bones made of coal. Oh, if she even lived now, she would spurn you, you are a monster, you shall never join her so live as long as you can...)

Propping his chin in his hand, Luke traced the form of his mother with his eyes, feeling true fear for the first time since the Emperor's bones had finally dissolved and burnt with energy. He understood, for the first time, the fierce protectiveness that flared in Leia's eyes when they spoke of mother. Why, when the subject turned to Father, she always seemed to be standing between the specter of Vader and someone else. He didn't have all the answers-- he and Mother had traded small snippets, but refrained from approaching larger subjects, in unspoken deference to Leia's absence. He could feel the lack keenly-- wishing she was as near to him as she was on Coruscant, so he could knock gently on her door and whisper that maybe, a little, he understood.
(She was kind, beautiful... but somehow sad.)
There was a child's resentment, irrational and impotent, towards that which had caused her sadness.
Each answer birthed questions, tens upon tens, until the world was filled with tangled constructions, as alien to the mind as a spider's web.

Luke slept-- awakening only once, just as the sky began blushing back to deep red. For a moment, he lay staring at the ceiling, wondering what had disturbed his senses. The Force rippled strangely, and Mother stirred in her sleep, loosing a small sound of distress.
He rolled over just in time to see one of the quilts move, as if on its own, to cover her shivering form.




You know how I feel about feedback right now, right?
*clears throat*
[to the tune of 'walking in a winter wonderland']
Well you know, Mere's back to posting--
And she always sings in closing,
To get her feedback, her muse's snack,
She'll do just about anything at all.


Not one of my better ones...

 

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Meredith Bronwen Mallory
Evil Mad Scientist / Darth Bronwen
Apprentice of Darth_Fruitcake
Proud Master of the wonderful and ever-glorious Msna
"That is not dead which can eternal lie, and after many strange eons even death may die."-- The Necromonicon
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Ashamaphone 
Registered: Jan '01
43259_Princess Leia
Date Posted: 11/11/04 4:30pm Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke & Padme) ACTUAL POST 11/11/04! THAT'S RIGHT! - Date Edited: 11/11/04 4:34pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Ashamaphone
You know, everytime I read one of your posts, it's like I'm reading some epic poem. Everytime.

Fantastic chapter, it's wonderful that they're back together, finally but at the same time it's so sad because they've missed so much already. Interesting little line you put in there at the end...just what are you up to? tongue

Also, it looks as though you're following along the lines of "From Where Ever I Am To You"... Are you perhaps intimating where you were planning on going with that one or just writing an AU from an AU?

 

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There's only one thing to do - learn the language of the fleas, earn their trust, and breed with their women. And in time our differences will be forgotten.
--Peter Griffin
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DarthBreezy 
Title: Retired Mos Everett Cantina Founder & JMPR
Registered: Jun '02
13873_Anakin & Padmé
Date Posted: 11/11/04 7:55pm Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke & Padme) ACTUAL POST 11/11/04! THAT'S RIGHT!
Oh at long last you have picked up the reins of this wonderful story again. I sincerly hope it finds a new audiance to compliment those of us who always hoped you would come back to us!

 

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Although the singer is silent, There is still the truth of the song.
http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/28747916/p1/
Sailing little Boats - with GoldenJedi
Anywhere is possible.
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SarkaVrae 
Title: PR Emeritus Chattanooga
Registered: Jun '04
46149_Inara Serra
Date Posted: 11/11/04 9:41pm Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke & Padme) ACTUAL POST 11/11/04! THAT'S RIGHT!
Yay! Yay! Yay! I'm so happy you posted!

Lovely imagery, very heart-stirring!
I'm so glad you are back!

 

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http://www.connooga.com TEH BESTEST CON EVAR!
are you crazy? it's a very dangerous thing to do exactly what you want
TwiLekJedi is so silly
"I will sin my own sins, with my eyes open"
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RebelMom 
Title: TFF Secretary
Registered: Apr '00
44413_Luke Skywalker
Date Posted: 11/11/04 10:00pm Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke & Padme) ACTUAL POST 11/11/04! THAT'S RIGHT!
It's such a treat to read your posts.

 

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Short Story: Pressure Point http://boards.theforce.net/beyond_the_saga/b10477/26961243/p1/?7
Jacen Solo and Anakin Skywalker - as it should have been.
TFF: Cheryl
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VaderLVR64 
Title: Fan Fic Manager in Combat Boots
Registered: Feb '04
20251_Anakin Skywalker
Date Posted: 11/12/04 6:44am Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke & Padme) ACTUAL POST 11/11/04! THAT'S RIGHT!
What wonderful post! I hope you will post again SOON! I love this story. I've always wanted Luke to know his mother and you give him the chance!

 

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If you have to choose between tears and laughter, remember that laughter burns more calories.
Army Mom! HOOAH!
Adopt a soldier: http://soldiersangels.org/
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Jedi-2B 
Registered: Nov '00
42320_Luke Skywalker
Date Posted: 11/12/04 6:54am Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke & Padme) ACTUAL POST 11/11/04! THAT'S RIGHT!
What a coincidence -- just yesterday morning, I found myself wondering about this story, and went back and reread the last couple posts. And then today, on the Saga Board, what to my wondering eyes do I see... You never heard such a Whoop!

Lovely, lovely post, Meredith. I liked all the little details you put in, such as her having to look around for a second bowl (she must not let dirty dishes stack up like me), and how they refrain from talking about certain heavy subjects until Leia could be with them. I think Anakin's spirit is looking over them both.

Looking forward to more!

 

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It was on her fifteenth day in the darkness of the Nirauan cave when Mara Jade awoke to discover a rescuer had finally arrived.
It was not, however, any of the potential rescuers she would have expected.
It was Luke.
~~And the rest is history~~
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___Sithspawn___ 
Registered: Aug '04
44276_Imperial Officer
Date Posted: 11/12/04 9:32am Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke & Padme) ACTUAL POST 11/11/04! THAT'S RIGHT!
Well, it is about time tongue

That was a very beautiful and moving post. Glad you finally decided to continue with this and I hope you update this soon.

 

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I am severely DRL-afflicted.
See profile for (old) fics.
"As long as there are slaughterhouses, there will be battlefields." -- Leo Tolstoy
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JalendaviLady 
Registered: Nov '02
40044_Padme and Vader
Date Posted: 11/12/04 11:00am Subject: RE: The Widow Skywalker-- (post ROTJ AU staring Luke & Padme) ACTUAL POST 11/11/04! THAT'S RIGHT!
Is it worth the waiting for?
If we live 'til eighty four
Dreaming of what the boards will tell!
Ev'ry day we say our prayer --
Will another post be there?

Post, Glorious Post...

(There's a reason I'm not a music major... tongue )

 

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Yes, I'm maybe possibly back.
Hold Your Head High (pre-TPM OC vignette) http://boards.theforce.net/before_the_saga/b10475/28694279/p1/?0
Signs of Life, Chapter 37 now up http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/15114788
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