Yarael Poof and this forum are dead. But they both live on in our hearts.
Author Topic: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 10.8
dianethx 
Registered: Mar '02
46246_TFN Turns "10"
Date Posted: 7/28/04 5:32pm Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 7.28
Okay, so what does the old troll know? Hard to understand, the inscrutable one is.

Loved that Anakin thought he was in the right. Boy, he needs his head examined from the inside-out. And Qui-Gon better wake up or maybe he is just beginning to in this post.

Keep going. And keep updating your sig, because that's how I know this has been updated!

 

-----signature-----
Betrayal - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143 updated 9/22/08
Fragments of Illusion- http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473 updated 8/16/08
Freeze frame - http://boards.theforce.net/s/b10476/27820434
Master to jedidas3
Impeach Bush!
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Sheila 
Registered: Oct '02
14377_Jedi Kermit
Date Posted: 7/29/04 6:49pm Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 7.28
The Light would flourish where it belonged, around Anakin. And the things that Anakin had been compelled to do…they were all necessary steps to secure himself in that glow. So, in reality, he had very few sins to speak of.

Keep telling yourself that Ani, it will make it all that much sweeter when you finally get yours. He will get what he has coming to him won't he LE?


 

Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
PadawanKitara 
Registered: Dec '01
6383_Barriss Offee
Date Posted: 7/30/04 9:54pm Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 7.28
Yoda to the rescue??

 

-----signature-----
Courtier of the Royal Order of Shambling Dufi
We are Dufi...Resistance is Futile!
UCLA BRUINS
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
jeday 
Registered: Jan '04
8122_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 7/31/04 1:55pm Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 7.28
I hope so too! worried sad

 

Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
bobilll 
Registered: Aug '02
7005_Lake Retreat
Date Posted: 8/2/04 12:48pm Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 7.28
hmm, so does that mean that Qui-gon has finally woken up and smelled the coffee? Now it's everyone against Anakin, eh?

 

-----signature-----
You'll have to buy him a sweater.
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Captain_Observant 
Registered: Dec '02
41983_Sith Symbol
Date Posted: 8/3/04 11:01pm Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 7.28
Boy LE, you really make it hard to like that Anakin kid (but it's not like I was trying all that hard either...)

I really like where you are taking this story. It is very good. I too am very curious to see what exactly it is that Yoda knows.

Great Job and I look forward to reading more!

 

-----signature-----
"Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic."
angel Innocent, unless you get blood on your hands, then guilty until you find the bleach. devil
"I raised my daughters not to be afraid of anything - except spiders." My Dad
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Lurkalidth 
Registered: Feb '03
39883_Bear Jedi
Date Posted: 8/8/04 2:56pm Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 7.28
You know, they're right; this fanfic ***belongs*** on page one. happy And what a cliffie!

I wonder whether Obi-Wan had *help* (from someone w/ the initials of DS) in reaching his woozy state. And hope I do, that green troll relevant conversation will have, or else lose his train of thought Qui-Gon shall.

Splendid! This is simply splendid! And my heart can't help but ache for Obi-Wan. ::sob::

 

-----signature-----
~I brake for doughnuts.~
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Master_Ari 
Registered: Jun '02
20886_The Final Duel
Date Posted: 10/7/04 1:10pm Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 7.28
I recently remembered your wonderful fic and started reading through it again. I really enjoyed reading it again, and we on the last few pages when I realized how few there were left... My reaction--"Crap. I'm almost done with what she has." Please post more soon. I love the interactions between the characters and the fact that things are portrayed realisticaly and believably. Keep up the greatness.

 

-----signature-----
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who i
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
LuvEwan 
Registered: Mar '02
6458_Ewan and Temuera
Date Posted: 10/7/04 10:17pm Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 7.28
Post very soon. And it's gonna be a longer one, by my standards. And juicy. And ridiculously high in carbs. And chocolate-covered.

Hm. Yeah. Obi-Wan will be covered in chocolate. drooling

 

-----signature-----
So it was Anakin's butt after all. He supposed he might take a modicum of comfort from that.
-Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, by Matthew Stover
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
LuvEwan 
Registered: Mar '02
6458_Ewan and Temuera
Date Posted: 10/8/04 10:07am Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 7.28 - Date Edited: 10/8/04 10:08am (1 edits total) Edited By: LuvEwan
Finally, a post. blush My computer was having problems for awhile, so I was writing out posts in a notebook and then I transferred/edited them when I had reimaged my stinkin' computer. plain So I hope everyone likes it. Things will be a little different from this point on. devil Now I better get working on Cadence...



**

Qui-Gon felt himself take a retreating step. He couldn’t feign misunderstanding.

But he couldn’t answer, either. The strength and moisture had dried in his throat, and he stared dumbly down at the Master.

Emerald shadows shifted in Yoda’s eyes. “All who know him have known.”

Qui-Gon glanced at the closed bedroom door. Muscles jerked and strained in his face.

“But our place, it was not. Our duty, it was not. Come from you, it needed to.”

Qui-Gon pressed spastic fingers to his temples. “Do you understand what that would have entailed? I already had to tell him once, and it was the worst moment of my life.”

“And his as well, I think.” There was a faint, bitter edge of sarcasm sharpened in that voice. “For knew, he did, that he would live forever in the dark. And he still knows.

“He knows you have withheld that illumination, and so kept him in a needless darkness.”

Qui-Gon all but collapsed into the nearby armchair, having lost the support of bones now melted to ice water. “It didn’t seem needless. It was better, Master…less painful.”

“For you.” The withered alien grunted, struggling to push forward and face Qui-Gon. “For you, it served a purpose. Saved you from pain, it did.”

Qui-Gon rubbed the bridge of his nose with a soft imitation of laughter. “It saved me nothing. It was merely a postponement. And gods, it makes everything worse. And I can’t comprehend what it’s going to do to him.”

A twitch to the small mouth. “Learned the truth, he has?”

“Anakin was here before. Tonight. I-I don’t know what he said, but I can guess. When I got here, Obi-Wan was exhausted. I had to help him to his bed. I tried to ask him what happened, but he wouldn’t give me straight answers.” He paused long enough to wince at the irony. For once, he’s evading my questions. “It was like something had grabbed old of him and shook out everything. All the progress he’d made, all the humor and energy. What I saw tonight…it reminded me of Naboo.” He bit down on his life, and felt the spirit of the Knight resonating in every curve and corner of the room.

They had arrived here on the thick, molting wings of old betrayal and new deceit. It had carried them all so far off course. How could they ever touch solid soil again?

“A course we all have, Master Qui-Gon. A path we cannot foresee, but one we pave nonetheless. Who are you to say that a gutter, this is?”

“Who are you to say this is his destiny? How can this hell be what my apprentice was meant for?”

A frown knotted the lines in Yoda’s forehead. “But your apprentice, he is no longer. Believe to hold his life and fate in your fist, you do. But the braid is gone. Grown, the child has. Loosened, the fingers were. Difficult to accept, it is, for he is challenged and pained by so much. But a fact, it surely remains.

“Tell him, you still can.” A tiny finger jabbed hard against Qui-Gon’s knee.

“But if he already-“

“Guess, you cannot!” The words rose in tremulous stridency. “Or condemn him to that darkness, you will.”

Qui-Gon stood, and the wraiths of every day passed in his willful secrecy began to twist in prickling tendrils on his skin. He squeezed his eyes shut. “Am I a coward, Master? To have run for so long?”

“A coward, Master Qui-Gon?” The sage closed his eyes then, as if to share the other’s darker view. He shook his head. “No. Keep running, a coward would have. Run, he would, until his path ended at the cliff.

“But you, you have slowed. Honor that, he might, once his own feet take to rest.”

Qui-Gon’s toes curled in his boots. Apparently, he had been slowed all the way to a standstill. He could hear his own breath scraping up his throat. “I remember when he was fourteen, and we were traipsing through the remains of an explosion. At once point, it was so awful I just pulled him against me and covered his eyes.” The man swallowed. “I wish I could spare him again. This one time.”

“Spare him then, you could not. And spare him now, you cannot. See the evils of this Universe, he did, even with the shield of his teacher. And without your words, know the truth, he still will.”

Qui-Gon’s eyes dropped. The hope inside him was falling, too, to slosh with the frigid fear-indeed, it was fear-churning in his gut. “He forgave me for it. On Naboo. It barely lasted a moment but it…it was a perfect moment.” A gasp shuddered through the bones in his chest. “I don’t think it can happen again.”

“Hmm.” Yoda rumbled quietly, gaze searching the black. Limitless, forgiveness is not. But compassion, love? No boundaries, will they be gated by. It is how we all survive. And how we move on.”

Move on. It stung him as dust to an open wound. Gods, that’s all I want, for everyone. Qui-Gon looked at his hands, those of an old warrior and eternal fool, and flexed them before they could freeze. They were quivering.

“A hostage to hate, Obi-Wan has never been.”

But Qui-Gon’s mouth was numb, and he could only nod before moving to the bedroom door.

**

He didn’t attempt to stand. He couldn’t even trust himself to turn over, so he lay, hard on his shoulder with his face pressed into the hot pillow.

It was strange, to shiver in the darkness. There was nothing to steady him, to still his breath and ground him in sanity. His entire world had been kicked from its spindle, and he realized suddenly how delicate life’s harmony had been.

And he was so dizzy in the void, caught in the tailspin of ruthless revelation and the sweet, fabricated existence of the days before. It was savage assault.

He would disappear within his body, until everything else calmed, and he could step out into reality again. But nothing more would touch him.

Yet—something was touching him. Cold, smoothing over his arm, leaving the flesh there chilled and pocked. He wouldn’t move, though, not to escape the sensation or hide deeper in the blankets.

There was a terrible pit inside him, that had once been his core, and a single misstep would topple him over the edge. He was already without a semblance of balance.

“Obi-Wan?”

Oh, and he could hear that voice, over the plains of his years, calling for him to come through the fog.

He couldn’t then, such was the pull of his anguish and the extent of his torture. He would be in pain forever, until there was nothing left, until he was a pile of embers and ash…

“Obi-Wan, please wake up. I need to talk to you.”

He parted himself from the smoldering recollection, to his present conflagration, and knew. That voice was the source of his suffering, the reason, the blade cutting into his spine.

“Please, Obi-Wan. I need to tell you something.”

He felt a sigh weigh him, sink though him, and moan down into the mattress. He wanted to go with it, to be enveloped in warmth, and know nothing, as it had once been for him. “What is it that you want to tell me, Master Jinn?” His lips were cracked, and he pushed his tongue over them. “That you’re sorry?”

“Yes. Force yes. But there’s more. I want to explain-“

“Why you did it?” He rasped, “Or why you lied to me about it, when it was you I trusted to tell me those things in my past I couldn’t know on my own?” He pulled himself in tighter, and while his insides boiled, the heat pressed out his mouth in shaky gasps, “You…I trusted you with my life. I thought you were giving me back my life. But it was just a distortion of my life, fixed in your favor. Did you think it would never come back to me?”

“I wasn’t thinking, Obi-Wan.”

“Of course you were! You were thinking it would work out much better, to just omit a little detail, to let me know some but not all. I needed to know how I was blinded, but the rest was too minor to mention, right?”

A firm hand clasped his shoulder. “No. I wanted to tell you. But I-I couldn’t chance that you would turn away from me. You needed me, Obi-Wan, despite what you may think now.” Arms searched him, for a way to constrain him, though he was as motionless as in the first moments. “And I still need you.”

He didn’t rebel against the touch. He was fading from the seconds, as they unfolded in suspense and heavy breaths. He found his mind wandering through nameless terrain--he didn’t know his name anymore. It had been the first seed after he’d been washed clean of his past, and it was planted by hands that were now cold and coarse to him. He swallowed. “Tell me it was just a dream. Tell me the only lie here was told by my unconsciousness, and I was wrong to believe it. If you tell me you didn’t leave me there alone to fight off a demon’s blade, I’ll believe you. You’ve told me everything else, and until now, it’s been proven right. So I should have some faith in you, shouldn’t I? I should let you tell me what’s truth and what’s fantasy. Tell me, Master Jinn. And whatever you say, it will be my truth. How can I trust nightmares above someone who has replaced every root in me, when I was empty and nothing?”

There was a hesitation, and in that slight moment, he knew it was over.

***

worried

 

-----signature-----
So it was Anakin's butt after all. He supposed he might take a modicum of comfort from that.
-Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, by Matthew Stover
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
LuvEwan 
Registered: Mar '02
6458_Ewan and Temuera
Date Posted: 10/8/04 10:12am Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 7.28 - Date Edited: 10/8/04 10:13am (1 edits total) Edited By: LuvEwan
Oh, and there are my author replies.

diane And Qui-Gon better wake up or maybe he is just beginning to Maybe. mischief

Sheila I'm not sure you're still around the boards, but thanks for reading. love

PK Yoda to the rescue? I guess it was something like that. wink

jeday happy

bobilll Well, not everyone is going to be against Anakin. wink

C_O Thank you so much. hugs

Lurkalidth Thanks! happy

Ari I know it's annoying for fics to be left un-updated for so long. blush Sorry. sad I'm so glad you're reading, though! happy

 

-----signature-----
So it was Anakin's butt after all. He supposed he might take a modicum of comfort from that.
-Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, by Matthew Stover
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Master_Ari 
Registered: Jun '02
20886_The Final Duel
Date Posted: 10/8/04 2:00pm Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 10.8
First reply! It's really good that they are talking. I think this will do wonders for healing. I figured I'd go weeks or monthes at least with no post but then get on to a long one! Made my day.

 

-----signature-----
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who i
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Master_Noi 
Registered: Sep '04
14361_Obi-Wan Kenobi
Date Posted: 10/8/04 9:36pm Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 10.8
Oh - I knew Qui was going to regret withholding this from Obi.

 

-----signature-----
For Such a Time as This ( 09/21/08)
A Shrouded Path (08/31/08)
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
Mysticshill 
Registered: Nov '01
6594_Luke Skywalker
Date Posted: 11/28/04 6:22pm Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 10.8
Hi, I know its been awhile since I was here, I just want you to know I still love the story!

 

Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History
PadawanKitara 
Registered: Dec '01
6383_Barriss Offee
Date Posted: 11/28/04 9:55pm Subject: RE: Blurred Visions -Obi/Qui/Ani/Ami AU~*~NEW POST 10.8
Definitely not Yoda to the rescue- but it's time for you to come rescue the story LE!

 

-----signature-----
Courtier of the Royal Order of Shambling Dufi
We are Dufi...Resistance is Futile!
UCLA BRUINS
Locked Topic | Active Topic Notification | Private Message | Post History