Enter your search terms
Submit search form
Web
boards.theforce.net
This Forum
Jedi Council Forums
»
Fan Fiction
»
Classic Fan Fiction
»
Register
|
Login
|
Search
|
Help
|
New Boards
|
Harassment Policy
|
Rules of the JC
|
TOS
|
Markup Codes
Locked Topic
|
Read Only Topic
|
Previous Active Topic
|
Next Active Topic
Pages:
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
-
Previous
|
Next
|
Reload
Author
Topic:
'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
Marnie
Registered:
Jul '01
Date Posted:
11/6/02 3:00pm
Subject:
'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
'Redemption', part 1.
It was distasteful, but it was the only way, Obi-Wan thought as he
sighted along the barrel of his laser-rifle. Above him the blocky
length of a red Republic cruiser turned and began floating, autumnally,
to the ground. Hidden in the trees around the clearing, glimpses of
highly polished armour caught the sun, betraying five guards to his keen
observation.
Just as he picked out the last his comlink buzzed and Anakin's
incongruously deep voice said, "The guards are asleep, and the Cortosis
Field is in place, Master."
"Are you sure it will hold? Check again."
"Master, I think I know by now how to set up a field generator."
Their conversations always made him feel accused, and now, right now, he
didn't need that. "This is important, my Padawan. Do as I say."
Obi-Wan could almost see - could certainly picture - the tightened jaw,
the deliberate breathing and recovery before Anakin replied "Yes,
Master." Why must the boy make everything so difficult? Why must he
behave as if taking an order was like gnawing off his own leg? And why
did he have to be difficult today? Today, when Obi-Wan felt so very
vulnerable.
This backwards world's one spaceport was nothing more than a sheet of
rock, turned glacier smooth by the firestorm rockets of their primitive
craft, and even this was considered so ritually impure as to be
deserted. Only a nervous emissary of the Priest-King - air downwash
ruffling the feathers of his headdress - would witness what was about to
happen. And, if all went to plan, he would remember it only as a
mystery.
For the survival of the Order and the Republic,
he thought as the
ship settled gently to the ground. One of its supports came down on
clear glass, and there was a ringing, as if someone had struck ten
thousand crystal goblets.
The note sliced through his exposed nerves like a lightsabre; he could
feel again the red blade as it drove into his leg. He saw blood on the
Arena, the dead bodies of a hundred Jedi slaughtered like cattle on the
sand; Anakin reeling backwards, falling, maimed for his sake. And the
Army of the Republic, an army whose very existence filled him with
horror, mowed down droids, let the real culprit get away.
Running lights dimmed. A crack of illumination showed, widening as the
door drew back and the ramp extended. The emissary smoothed his
feathers, and a shadow moved inside the ship, blocking the light with
the heavy, graceful swing of a Jedi cloak.
None of it will ever have happened,
Obi-Wan told himself,
determination like steel in his bones.
There will be no separatist
movement, no massacre. It will never happen.
Why else had the Council discovered a way to travel into the past? Why
else had the Force brought him to this moment? He was going to redeem
the future, and buy back all those lives, with the price of one man...
Count Dooku.
Stopping at the top of the ramp, Dooku took down his hood. Force! He
was young! The pale, bladelike face was almost more sinister beneath
ebony hair, the trimmed black beard outlined a mouth that already looked
cruel. His eyes, dark as his cloak, were smiling with all the sincerity
with which he had told Obi-Wan how truly he wanted to help.
I don't hate him,
Obi-Wan's exhaled breath was shaky.
I am
not taking revenge,
he levelled the gun, sights arrowed onto the
unblemished skin of the Sith's forehead.
I am not killing a
man,
he held down panic, fear, a twinge of guilty yearning, and
turned them into calm.
I am cutting out a cancer.
He pulled the trigger. Green energy blazed from the barrel of the rifle
and tore at near lightspeed across the clearing. The small figure of
Dooku reached for his lightsabre, swung nonchalantly into a perfect
defence, flicking the igniter button. And there was no blade.
Not wasting time with surprise - damn but the man was good - Dooku
hurled himself backwards. The first bolt went over his head, but
Obi-Wan had anticipated that, following the diving figure with shot
after shot.
Let's see you twist your way out of this!
Now others had started to move - the emissary running for the trees, the
pilot, a startled blue shape in the cockpit window, slamming controls.
The ramp began to raise, repulsors whining as the ship fought gravity.
He must *not* get away!
Obi-Wan intensified the barrage, and
Dooku stumbled.
A moment of epiphany as a burning bolt crashed into the traitor's
shoulder, spinning him around. The next would take out the back of his
head.
It's done!
But then there was a blur of movement. Dooku's body jerked back like a
Force-Pushed droid - blast just grazing his cheek, singeing his beard.
No.
Obi-Wan whispered - he had taken pains to make sure this
would not happen. He had
arranged
things. This must not happen!
The last shots screamed in to impact. There was no gap in them, no
space of safety to which even the most agile Master might leap. One of
those bolts
would
hit, and the shock of contact with a second dose of
molten plasma
would
kill Dooku, unless...
Calmly, deliberately, the young man who had rushed with Force-assisted
speed to Dooku's side stepped in front of his Master and took the deadly
bolt in his own stomach.
Oh Force, no!
Recoil sent both men sprawling. Dooku, apparently unconsious, pitched
onto his face and slid into the airlock. High enough for escape, the
fleeing ship yawed as it circled. Hitting the moving metal, curled in
agony, the youth rolled, pitched over the edge of the ramp and fell like
ditched cargo - headfirst onto a landing strut, then, as that retracted,
five metres onto the vitrified ground.
Oh gods!
Obi-Wan leapt down from his perch even as Anakin burst from the trees.
They arrived at the body together.
"What have you
done
!" Anakin's accusation - disrespectful as it
was - only mirrored his own thoughts.
"They said he wouldn't be here! They said they'd order him to stay
behind!"
And you honestly believed he'd obey them?
Obi-Wan checked the neck and spine before rolling the body over, looking
with a kind of awe at this man who was little older than Anakin - seeing
the blood, the dirt, the broken, boneless sprawl.
It was Anakin who took the pulse. Obi-Wan's heart was too erratic and
his fingers too numb with shock.
Oh Force, Qui-Gon. Oh gods...
I've let Dooku get away, and I've killed Qui-Gon.
-----signature-----
Tell us now the full tale!
http://www.elfringham.dsl.pipex.com/Home.html
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
obaona
Registered:
Jun '02
Date Posted:
11/6/02 4:48pm
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
-
Date Edited:
11/6/02 4:48pm
(1 edits total)
Edited By:
obaona
-----signature-----
atty is the bestest!
MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind.
- teh atty
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
Marnie
Registered:
Jul '01
Date Posted:
11/7/02 1:12am
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
Don't worry, Obaona, all is not as it appears!
-----signature-----
Tell us now the full tale!
http://www.elfringham.dsl.pipex.com/Home.html
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
obaona
Registered:
Jun '02
Date Posted:
11/7/02 1:54am
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
THANK THE FORCE!!!
At least . . . I hope so.
*starts shouting* People! Read!
Please, please continue this.
-----signature-----
atty is the bestest!
MS Word is designed by sadists with masochists in mind.
- teh atty
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
Jane Jinn
Registered:
Jan '00
Date Posted:
11/7/02 5:20am
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
This story deserves lots of readers!
-----signature-----
Mostly retired now
Just making the occasional guest appearance
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
Kendalina_Jinn
Registered:
Oct '02
Date Posted:
11/7/02 8:18am
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
Having read this story before, let me let everyone know you are in for a treat.
This is am excellant fic and one of my favorites.
Psst... Is a sequel planed???
-----signature-----
Member of the Obi-Wan Fan Club
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
Marnie
Registered:
Jul '01
Date Posted:
11/7/02 8:44am
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
Thanks for the recommendation, Kendalina and Jane, and I will carry on posting it, Obaona - I'm just delaying a bit to see if we can pick up a few more readers!
I haven't got a sequel planned. I'm working on a
way
prequel at the moment, (about how Qui and Dooku first meet) but who knows where the bunnies may strike next?
Thanks again
-----signature-----
Tell us now the full tale!
http://www.elfringham.dsl.pipex.com/Home.html
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
Healer_Leona
Registered:
Jul '00
Date Posted:
11/7/02 10:19am
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
This story not only deserves lots of readers, it deserves replies as well!!! There's something here for everyone that likes Qui/Obi/Ani plus it's a fabulous story!!
I will definitely be reading again!!
-----signature-----
I'm on your side if you fail at least you tried
To keep your aching, celebrating, wonder-making heart alive
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
Cascadia
Registered:
Apr '02
Date Posted:
11/7/02 11:09am
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
Looks great,
Marnie
!
-----signature-----
It is only when we have risen from beholding the creature
into beholding creation that our mortality catches for a
moment the music of the turning spheres.
--Owen Barfield
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
dianethx
Registered:
Mar '02
Date Posted:
11/7/02 3:34pm
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
Having already read this, I can guarentee that it will keep you on the edge of your seat and pull you headlong into its AU existance. Another excellent job, Marnie (as always).
And I'm glad to see this one getting a wider audience...
Diane
-----signature-----
Betrayal -
http://boards.theforce.net/s/b1/10935143
updated 9/22/08
Fragments of Illusion-
http://boards.theforce.net/bts/b10475/28456473
updated 11/20/08
jedidas3's Master
At last - Hope for our country
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
Marnie
Registered:
Jul '01
Date Posted:
11/8/02 3:42am
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
Thank you, Diane and Leona! And specially for Obaona and Cascadia, who don't know what happens next, here's part 2
Redemption, part 2.
*****
It wasn't safe to pour any more energy into the trance. Obi-Wan could
feel the core of his own body cooling as he threw away his reserves in a
torrent of healing force. Indeed he was foolish to have gone this far;
to leave himself shaking and lightheaded and impaired, when Dooku was
still out there to be dealt with.
Obi-Wan didn't want to put a name to the despiration he felt. Whatever
it was, it could not be appropriate for a Jedi.
I should be calm and
focussed. I should be...
Anakin came in from the small kitchen at the other side of the salon pod
and placed a mug of juice infront of him. A delicate, haunted silence
hung about the Padawan's aura. "I thought I'd tune the hyperdrive,
Master. I know the input valves aren't correctly aligned."
Anakin's mouth was sullen and his head bent, almost pressed down. When
Obi-Wan picked up the cup, he shied away, as if expecting a blow.
What does he think I am?!
the flinch grieved Obi-Wan further,
Does he really think I'm the kind of man who would strike out at
innocents, just because I'm hurting?
"Make sure you keep it
functional," he said, collectedly as he could, "We may need it."
As Anakin left, Obi-Wan checked the medical readouts again. They were
not good. Qui-Gon's heartbeat was faltering and erratic. Though pain
read scarlet on the monitor, higher brain activity was minimal. The
massive, livid burn across his abdomen, obscene as it had looked at
first, had now stabilized, but it seemed he could not recover from the
impact of the fall.
Reluctantly, Obi-Wan's gaze was drawn from the instruments to his
Master's face.
I don't want to watch you die again, Qui-Gon.
How jarring to see him young - smooth cheek boyishly curved, the unlined
eyes giving him a look of astonishing innocence. In convulsions,
earlier, before he slipped into this icy, almost sleep, his long braid
had wrapped around his neck. It lay there still, a stroke of ink
against his pallor.
Qui-Gon's arm had slipped off the pallet and dangled uncomfortably.
Obi-Wan remembered with goring nostalgia how they never had made
standard sleep couches big enough for him. Making sure that Anakin was
not watching him, he picked the cool hand up and tucked it back under
the blanket.
****
"Complicates things, this does." The small, hologrammatic Council sat
on the control panel, reflecting like cold flame in the reinforced
window.
Obi-Wan massaged his forehead, aching with the expenditure of too much
Force energy, and the suppression of too many thoughts. A bark of
humourless laughter betrayed his turmoil to the watching Masters. "Oh,
we've certainly changed the future."
Anakin, who had finished his tinkering and taken over the healing trance
a half hour ago, slid quietly out of the salon pod and collapsed into a
chair just outside the transmitter pick-up. He looked bowed, subdued.
Obi-Wan's heart clenched with fear at the sight. "Anakin?"
"No, it's alright, Master. I just..." the dark voice was full of
weariness, but beneath it lay a more ominous strain, as if his Padawan
were a shamisen with the strings too tightly tuned, pulling itself apart
for the sake of a pure note. "Just needed to take a break."
"What damage will Padawan Jinn's death do?" Only Yoda was familiar to
Obi-Wan on the earlier version of the Council. This speaker was a man
at the end of a very long life, prematurely mummified by the dryness of
his own spirit.
"To us personally?" Dispassion was easy to feign before them - they
didn't know him well enough to read the signs of anger. "I will become
a worker in Agricorps and Anakin will remain a slave on Tatooine.
Otherwise..."
He half registered Anakin's glare, the mouth compressed from holding
back some outburst. Oh yes, his Padawan did hate to be reminded of
that. "Otherwise, I don't know. Certainly, if he lives, it won't stop
the threat against the Republic, or save a single Jedi on Geonosis."
The withered man - Master Starthief, if Obi-Wan remembered correctly -
nodded to indicate a decision had been made. "Bringing Jinn to the
Healers invites discovery, and more temporal paradox than this Temple
can easily endure. Keeping him there, he will act as bait, drawing
Master Dooku to you, enabling you to carry out your mission."
"I understand." After all, it was the rational decision, the choice he
would have made himself if his judgement had not been clouded by
emotion. Compared with the threat of Republic civil war, of what worth
was
his future, or Anakin's, or any one life? "I will contact
you again when I have news of Dooku."
"Regret, I do, so much promise, lost."
For a breathless moment Obi-Wan allowed himself to hope Yoda had found
another solution, but for once he failed expectation. "A great
sacrifice this is. Commend you we do."
"We live to serve."
***
"I don't
believe
you!" Typically of Anakin, he was making this
moment worse with his undisciplined, emotional response. As he stepped
forward Obi-Wan felt almost physically threatened.
"Anakin, I know it's hard to give up your dreams of knighthood..."
All the planes of Anakin's face went immobile as stone and the blue eyes
brightened, raging like the Northern Lights.
What did I say?
"You don't get it at all, do you? When my mom died I..." An attempt at
controlled breathing. Anakin's gaze broke away, glowered at the space
where the ghost Council had sat, leaving Obi-Wan feeling as if he had
been released from a malevolent spell. Force! As if everything wasn't
bad enough without his Padawan beginning to scare him too.
"And I thought you'd understand, but you..." The face creased, and the
bitter flame of eyes were clouded with
tears?
"You're so
perfect. Serenity before passion and anything, anything at all before
love. That's your...your
father
in there, and you don't give a
damn! How the hell am I supposed to learn from you when I don't even
know what you are?"
"Anakin!" Not for the first time, Obi-Wan was struck speechless. How
could anyone apparently so intelligent perceive so little? "You forget
your place. You forget the respect due to me as your Master, and you
have
no idea
what I'm feeling."
The truth is, neither do I,
he thought with sudden weariness.
His calm was a traveller, walking carefully over a thin glass floor,
while beneath him, in the pit, something elemental stirred. He didn't
need Anakin taking a sledgehammer to the precarious safety he had left.
Scrubbing a hand through his hair, smoothing it back behind his ears,
Obi-Wan sighed. "We need to meditate on..."
A sound in the fourth quadrant of the ship interrupted him - the note of
metal on metal, transmitted through the hull. "What was that?" Obi-Wan
demanded, meditation instantly forgotten, "Someone trying to get in?"
"Sensors detect nothing outside." Anakin said, all business again, the
light of the hunt in his face, "But it must be Dooku, mustn't it?"
Piston sound - the secondary hatch opening. Their enemy was coming in
through the hold, where the speeders were stored. Not an ideal
situation, given how easily he had defeated them before. But if they
could only keep him in the ship they could at least take off, and then
evacuate the air. "Come on!"
Fastest route was through the pod. Obi-Wan slammed the handpad for the
door and slipped through when it was half open, seeing its barrenness
with half his mind - the unplugged wires; the IV drip spreading in a
pool over the silver floor; the missing clothes; the empty bed.
Empty bed.
Coming through on his heel, Anakin ran into his back, as his world
turned upside down with a nauseating thoroughness that hadn't happened
to him since...since the last time Qui-Gon Jinn had been in his life.
"Dooku's been and gone?"
"No!" Obi-Wan shook himself, tore, at a speed he hadn't imagined
himself capable of, down towards the hatch. Halfway there, he heard the
motor start up. By the time they had reached the open ramp all he could
see was the bent back of a single swoop rider, disappearing into the
trees.
"Little bastard," he said, filled with a very unJedi-like desire to
laugh hysterically, "He was faking it."
"What?" Anakin's hands stopped his as he reached for the steering yoke
of the second machine.
"Qui-Gon - he faked the debility so we'd lower our guard and let him
escape. Seems to have worked, doesn't it?"
"Chuuba!" Anakin swore appreciatively, "Let me, Master. You know you
hate flying."
"Can you catch him?"
Anakin grinned ferociously, "I can catch anyone." He was out of the
door on full throttle before Obi-Wan had time to think, so that
Obi-Wan's final warnings had to be bellowed into slipwash and exhaust.
"Anakin! To him you are the enemy..."
Useless to shout, Anakin had gone forward into his own silence. Obi-Wan
finished his sentence only to reassure himself that he still had control
over this disaster of a mission. "And Dooku may be out there waiting
for you, Padawan."
-----signature-----
Tell us now the full tale!
http://www.elfringham.dsl.pipex.com/Home.html
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
VadeyFan2002
Registered:
Sep '02
Date Posted:
11/8/02 4:31am
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
-
Date Edited:
11/8/02 4:33am
(1 edits total)
Edited By:
VadeyFan2002
Hello there.
You have another new reader,who doesn't know the story.
I realy liked Qui_Gon's escape.After all those years with him,Obi shouldn't underestimate his Master.
I hope Anakin doesn't turn up in Dooku's hands.He would be in danger to lose the rest of his calm and turn dark.
But I must say the decision of this time council seemed unlogical to me.
Then they believe Obi that Dooku will turn Sith in the far future,why don't they try to hinder that in any other way?
Vadey
-----signature-----
Story:
http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=9667170&replies=
What if Vader learned about Leia before he knows about Luke
Other links in my Bio:
http://boards.theforce.net/user.asp?usr=717023
Proud member of WJVB Club
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
Marnie
Registered:
Jul '01
Date Posted:
11/8/02 5:12am
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
Hello, VadeyFan! Nice to know you're with us
As for the Council's decision well... It seems to me that the Council doesn't show much of a tendancy to take risks. (Rejecting a 9 year old with huge potential just because he has anger in him? Doesn't Luke prove that you can never really be too old to be trained?)
Almost any other way of dealing with the situation runs the risk of Dooku turning, this way does not. And after all, we are dealing with a bunch of people who believe in destiny. If Dooku's turned in the future, perhaps it's his destiny to do so? If so, lets get rid of him now before he does any harm.
Sort of like that film - Minority Report. There are lots of people who think it's OK to punish someone *before* they commit a crime, as long as we're certain that they *will* do it, if left to their own devices.
Kudos to you for spotting the theme!
-----signature-----
Tell us now the full tale!
http://www.elfringham.dsl.pipex.com/Home.html
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
Kit'
Title:
Manager Emeritus
Registered:
Oct '99
Date Posted:
11/8/02 6:17am
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
Excellant story Marnie
I liked the reference from Anakin to Obi-wan about him haitng flying (especially cool considering much the same was said in ATOC). I also love the idea that Qui-gon was faking the injury. The descriptions were also subperb, conjuring up vivid mental images while, at the same time, not taking away from the story!
Excellant!
Kithera
-----signature-----
Join the insanity
http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/27996678
*
One bad day and a temper tantrum does not a dark Jedi make!
http://fanfic.theforce.net/fanfic.asp?action=view&ID=1060
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
Sabe126
Registered:
Jun '02
Date Posted:
11/8/02 6:35am
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
WOW! This is amazing! A very original idea. I can't begin to imagine all the repurcussions there will be.
Can't wait for the next instalment!
Sabe126
-----signature-----
Luminous beings are we...not this crude matter.
Conversations With My Master - Joint fic with ForceAchtungBaby -
http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/20217597/?1
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
Dally
Registered:
Apr '01
Date Posted:
11/8/02 7:47am
Subject:
RE: 'Redemption', Obi and Ani travel to the past to kill Dooku, but shoot Qui-Gon by mistake. AU.
I saw this story on your site. It's very cool.
Locked Topic
|
Active Topic Notification
|
Private Message
|
Post History
Pages:
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
-
Previous
|
Next
|
Reload
Jedi Council Forums
»
Fan Fiction
»
Classic Fan Fiction
»
© 2008 IGN Entertainment, Inc (6.08.17.2300, ASPNET7) 0.938