Jedi Council Forums - New Fan Film: 'Vader Date'

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Author	Topic: New Fan Film: 'Vader Date'
Knucklehead_Films Registered: May '09	Date Posted: 5/26 2:21pm Subject: New Fan Film: 'Vader Date'
	Hi everyone! This is my first fan film, and it was an amazing experience. The film is a comedy, and I poke fun at a lot of stuff in this. I have also submitted it for consideration to the Atom Films Challenge. Purists may not like this much as it doesn't stick to canon, just FYI. Any feedback would be great, positive or negative, I can handle it Anyways, here it is, Vader Date: http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/3EFBFFFF01B724D4001700BC9EED/
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phantasmo Registered: Jun '09	Date Posted: 6/22 9:55am Subject: New Fan Film: 'Vader Date'
	Hi, well as nobody has commented here yet.. Well I like the film, the jokes are funny (the hmm "come in handy" side of the force) and the idea is well executed, technically is well made too (vader voice for example).. bonus points for the waitress (and the outfit ) (Btw on the accepted videos there is one which has a blonde vs brunette Jedi battle, that I suppose was the reason that kill the competition! yeah the new Atom philosophy ) I think the only problem is how long the film is, the first time I was ready to watch it, I look at the timer and 20+minutes! so I watch it later and in 2-3 "turns"... (you know, the short attention span we suffer on the internet ) I think it could work better as a web series? With 20 minutes you can have 4-5 mini episodes, that could keep fresh the pacing and possibly, multiply the potencial number of spectators and growing an audience?... maybe someone can start to watch "part 3" and want to see the others... don´t know... Anyway nice job! -----signature----- Star Wars in a Notebook! - http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/sw_notebook/ and... become a fan! - http://www.facebook.com/pages/Star-Wars-in-a-Notebook/116771284836
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dvdcdr Registered: Aug '06	Date Posted: 6/23 5:40pm Subject: New Fan Film: 'Vader Date'
	I agree with the comment about the length. Not sre how you could split it up, it's kind of one continuous scene for the most part. I think it could have benefited just from tighter editing. You could have cut out the waitress spilling the drink, some of the lightsaber puns, and the mike honcho bit (since it was basically not changed at all or starwars-ised from the original lines in talledega nights, lol). The music also ruined a lot of it for me. It was too loud, plus the music itself just wasn't good. Sounded like the background music for those old pokemon gameboy games. I think you could have done most of the movie with no music and just let the conversation play out by itself. If you needed it, maybe some ocean's 11 music (since it has a similar feel to the music you used, but it's not NEARLY as cheesy). Or maybe just put some cantina bar music playing very softly in the background, as if the cantina band was playing in their restaraunt. But the music defintely needs to be changed, removed, or lowered in volume (or some combination of the three). Aside from that, the writing was funny and you had some good actors. Also some decent effects. I was definitely entertained through most of it. Trim a bit of the length and fix that music and you have a great film on your hands. -----signature----- Zarrangeloflix Site: http://www.freewebs.com/zarrangeloflix/ STREET SMARTS: August 2008 Effects Artist, Writer, Director
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spazweez Registered: Jul '08	Date Posted: 7/3 1:22pm Subject: New Fan Film: 'Vader Date'
	Hey man, I saw this before they picked the finalists and had a similar issue with the length. But this was your first effort? Wow. Ambitious and impressive. Congrats on pulling off such a big production and giving it such a professional polish. Great costumes and I like the little touches to the set design. I didn't mind the music. I think the cheesiness underscored the awkwardness of the date. Cantina band music could have been cool, but I figure you were adhering to Atom's limitations on SW music. Still, in a piece this long, the current music couldn't help but start to feel repetitive I can see you looking for jokes in awkward silences and you usually find them. But you can pare those down to just the very best moments. Truly, I think that if you wanted to, you could cut this down to a more manageable size and re-submit it with a good shot at the '10 contest. But you'd have to get pretty radical and shoot for an under-10 minute running time, if not faster. Your writing is funny and if you ruthlessly cut out everything but your A-list jokes, I think you could end up with something that's brisk and hysterical. (And hey, you'll still always have this full version, right?) With that in mind, I'll throw you some quick thoughts -- embrace or scrap 'em as you like. But PLEASE take them as they're intended, just some friendly and informal feedback from an objective outsider. I just dig a lot of your writing and would love to see you bring this back in '10. - Rewrite or scrap your opening titles. It takes 2 minutes just to get to the first image. - Drop the dressing montage. The only joke here is Vader with the towel on his head. Right now, Vader doesn't even speak until 3 minutes in. - Get to the mirror bit as quickly as possible. Vader psyching himself up is great. - The actual "Vader Date" doesn't start until almost four minutes in. Aim to get to the restaurant by two minutes at the latest. - Take a hard look at the date itself and cut out all but your very best jokes. - Within those jokes, tighten up the editing (particularly when the waitress enters). Don't go for the "awkward silences" too many times, because the pace starts to drag. - End the short when the dinner ends. "Check!" and then credits. For three reasons: Shooting for under 10 minutes. And while the whole bedroom "Mike Honcho" stuff is funny, it feels like "Part Two: The Morning After." Finally, the date is funny on its own and has a great natural break point. - All of those funny sex lines you've got running over black? Run 'em over your credits. Keep folks laughing right up until the final frame. Again, let me stress that these are just some friendly thoughts. As a first effort, this is slick. I hope to see more of your stuff in the future (and REALLY want to see a shorter version of this in next year's contest). Good luck. - spazweez (kevin)
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