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Topic:
***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
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ramsaur
Registered:
May '07
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Date Posted:
6/9 5:22pm
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
- Date Edited:
6/9 5:33pm (3 edits total)
Edited By:
ramsaur
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Hondorum posted:
Entry 8 (Ramsaur)
Setting: It’s just the back yard. It needed something more defining, more “I wish I could have access to this place.”
3 of 10
Editing: I don’t think that this video had awful editing. I think that the speed at which things progress makes it difficult to respect. I understood how the film is put together, but a little bit of cutting of each shot (or just some) would help.
6 of 10
Visual Effects: There aren’t any. The question is: Do you need them? For this case, I think that you do. Sorry guys.
2 of 10
Choreography: Some parts were not bad. You can tell that they were plan nicely. However, they needed to be sped up. Also, it seemed that the guy with the two lightsabers was just playing the drums on the other at about 28 seconds. A little bit more planning and quick would go a long way. There was a lot of swing at the legs and arms too. That, I could have done without, unless it was quicker, (PERHAPS)
6 of 10
Music: The music went two fast for the fight. The music, itself is not bad. But it requires a few more close-ups and more excitement
5 of 10
Overall: This is your typical back yard fight. With lack of effects and speed, this entry doesn’t wow. However, if the choreography was sped up, it would look nice.
OVERALL 22 of 50
Thanks for the critique. Just a heads up that this was all done at the last minute as in 3 hours on the last day to make something and turn it in. (My fault) Next year I hope not to be so busy with films and be able to plan it out more. - And yes, I can do VSFX - http://youtube.com/watch?v=666iHYNwpjo
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ResisterOfEvil
Registered:
Oct '07
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Date Posted:
6/9 6:02pm
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
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I was wondering if it would be ok for me to post a full version of our film on vimeo yet. Would it be better if I waited for the results to be in?
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SilentBat
Registered:
Aug '06
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Date Posted:
6/9 6:16pm
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
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And it starts. Here's how I'm going to do them:
SET ONE
1st Entry - BruceM
2nd Entry - Darkpitaman
3rd Entry - Demogoblin2
SET TWO
4th Entry - FSFilms # 1
5th Entry - FSFilms # 2
6th Entry - Tim DeHaas *NON-TFN MEMBER
SET THREE
7th Entry - Jacob Landis-Eigsti *NON-TFN MEMBER
8th Entry - Ramsaur
9th Entry - ResidentOfEvil
SET FOUR
10th Entry - Ryan_W & BrandonFlyte
11th Entry - StickGuyProductions
12th Entry - Whiteley79
13th Entry - Tyson Benard *NON-TFN MEMBER
I'll get to SET ONE in a second.
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"What's the matter McFly? Chicken?" "You're killing me Smalls!" http://antoinebandele.blogspot.com http://youtube.com/profile?user=SilentBat In response to my LCC Entry " 17. White Shirt Award "
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ObiJuan2080
Registered:
Jan '04
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Date Posted:
6/9 6:28pm
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
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ResisterOfEvil posted:
I was wondering if it would be ok for me to post a full version of our film on vimeo yet. Would it be better if I waited for the results to be in?
Yeah its all good now. Upload away.
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Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul. NEW SITE: http://www.mindscapefilms.net http://www.sabercomp.com "Idiots: It's a world-wide phenomenon" - Master_Cormyn
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SilentBat
Registered:
Aug '06
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Date Posted:
6/9 7:52pm
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
- Date Edited:
6/9 7:53pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
SilentBat
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Now I get nit-picky
SET ONE
1st Entry - BruceM
- Be careful with those opening titles. Make sure they are title-safe for TVs. It's just good practice to make sure all your titles are title-safe.
- 0:40: This cut is a little rough. You should have made sure you established he stopped walking. Also, audio is not so good here.
- 0:56: Where did the saber come from? Haha
- 1:05: Why does good guy stop here? He should have tried to attack the bad guy, he was completely open to an attack.
- 1:06: Was this shot with a different camera?
- 1:10: You needed a shot that established the bad guy got pushed back.
- 1:18 - 1:24: Took me a while to understand there was a super force jump here. Meh, I'm not too sure about this move anymore. It seems very unconventional and not very good to do tactically in a real duel and only works for awe and I haven't been awed by it since LCC IV, I think, in that one entry who's name I can't remember.
- 1:27: Finally some dueling ... but oh no, it's just a clash. Come on, get to the duel, there has been to much stopping in the duel already. Also, with any clash you do it's not a bad idea to consider CUs.
- 1:33: 180 rule broken. (Now I don't mind the 180 rule being broken if it's not so blatant but this one is inexcusable).
- 1:37: Again, too long of a pause and it would have been nice if you cut to a CU of good guy reaching out for his lightsaber while he was struggling with bad guy.
- 1:38: I like that move but it should have been followed up with some attacks.
- 1:43 - 1:46: Glad there was some dueling but it's really slow, sped it up a little.
- 1:47: Dodge roll was a bit sloppy.
- 1:48 - 1:59: Yay! A series of dueling! But it's cut short again by a clash.
- 2:01: Not too sure how smart of a move this is. The good guy should have just gone for the open back instead of coming all the way to the front where the bad guy's saber was ready for defense, plus, I think the good guy had the bad guy's hand's cut off anyway.
- 2:03: I like the head push.
- 2:04 - 2:14: Too many darn pauses.
- 2:20: Again, shot on a different camera on a different day? The bad guy seems to be wearing jeans now.
- 2:24: WAIT! Not only was he wearing jeans! He was a whole different guy! Stunt man perhaps? Hehe
- 2:32: This shot isn't framed very well.
- 2:34 - 3:14: It took too long for that whole thing to happen. You all needed to get up faster and reveal the saber inside the bad guy's chest.
- 3:23: Tracking needed some work.
- 4:11: Ending was very awkward.
(Mind if I borrow your grading scale Hondorum?  )
Setting: Not very interesting. Too open, not much to work with.
Editing: Needed lots of work. Looks like a rough cut more than anything.
Visual Effects: I can't critique the lightsaber so much because the quality was so low. I could say I liked the colors and the glows look alright. The lightening/white-orb things could have done good with more work. The Lens Flare didn't work too well.
Choreography: There wasn't much to critique honestly. The bits that were there were just below average. Work on that for next year. Work on really cleaning up the choreography and take less pauses.
Overall: One thing I'm sure we all can agree on, you have improved a lot form last year Bruce. Just keep at it man. You've got a lot of heart. A lot more heart and effort than a lot of others, that's for sure. You just really need to work on choreography first of all and second of all really getting into your characters. Because really, the characters in this duel had no life to me, I did not care for the well-being of either of them. This can be achieved through a lot of ways. First off, we need to see their faces and reactions and by that I mean you need a lot more Close-Ups. Also, I couldn't really distinguish two styles between the two, they seemed the same to me. And the struggle to defeat one another wasn't conveyed very well. They were just hitting each other's lightsabers but with no intent to kill.
Like I said, just keep with it man. You've got a lot spirit that can take you a long way with practice.
2nd Entry - Darkpitaman
- 0:45 - 0:47: The spins are pretty slow and don't seem threatening.
- 0:47 - 1:04: Good stuff and good camera movement, it just feels slow, though. It feels as though this a practice and you two are too afraid to wack each other with the sabers. In other words, there is a lack of intensity and therefore, I do not feel as though these characters are out for blood.
- 1:06 - 1:08: This shot isn't framed very well. Either get more intense with the CU or pull away a bit more to see the other combatant.
- 1:08: The cut here is sloppy.
- 1:10: I like the tilt down.
- 1:13: 180 broken.
- 1:16: 180 broken. Also the camera should have been moved a bit more to the left to get more of the front of this combatant's face.
- 1:17: Same, move the camera to the right a little to get the front of the face.
- 1:22: The guy in the white shirt is blocking much too wide.
- 1:24: Nice move.
- 1:30: I'm really having trouble following the geography of this duel a bit. The 180 rule is being broken so many times that I really distinguish where the characters are.
- 1:33: That dodge was much too slow.
- 1:37: Sloppy cut.
- 1:40: I like that sweep but the run away is a bit awkward. And oh my! Why is he wearing sandals!
- 1:54: I like the choreography leading up to 1:54.
- 2:04: Bad way to hold a staff, there is no power in that sort of grip.
- 2:09: 180 broken.
- 2:10: 180 broken.
- 2:10 - 2:26: I really really do enjoy the choreography here but it's just so darn slow and to me still seems like it needs more practice to clean up.
- 2:28: After that little hilt-butt the black shirt guy should have tried for another attack. He does later but he should have tried while white shirt guy was staggering.
- 2:33: That staff spin really lead into nothing. IT was nice but it should have flowed into an attack.
- 2:36: 180 broken
- 2:50: Again, everything leading up to 2:50 I like but it's just seems so much like a practice. Oh and at 2:50 the reaction is really poorly acted.
- 2:59: 180 broken.
- 3:22: Honestly, same notes. Just too slow. Now that I think of it, it probably was the sandal's fault.
- 3:27: The ending was bleh for me just because I thought the duel itself was bleh. Really disappointing, this duel was.
Setting: Liked the setting but didn't like how little of it was used.
Editing: Alright, there was a few sloppy moments.
Visual Effects: None that I could see.
Choreography: As I said many times. I really liked the choreography it was just much too slow and looked like it just needed more practice or the black shirt guy needed a good pair of sneakers.
Overall: Disappointing. I really liked what this could have been but it feel short of my expectation, I guess.
3rd Entry - Demogoblin2
- Sorry man, video won't play.
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"What's the matter McFly? Chicken?" "You're killing me Smalls!" http://antoinebandele.blogspot.com http://youtube.com/profile?user=SilentBat In response to my LCC Entry " 17. White Shirt Award "
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darkpitaman
Registered:
Feb '08
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Date Posted:
6/9 8:38pm
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
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Wow! Silentbat I'm still crying tears of shame at the thought of your review... I'm just kidding, it was harsh but fair and I thank you for your input. BTW, I know the sandals were a bad idea but it was hot and my converse were broken 
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Jacoblandiseigsti
Registered:
Jun '08
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Date Posted:
6/9 10:17pm
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
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So, here it is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slWa3kel30o
now that we are allowed to post, I compiled a special features video, featuring a great deal of the raw footage we had to work with. Here you can see that the footage is not sped up and you can watch many of the fastest moments with no zoom or camera shake.
It also features bloopers, and comparisons of the different versions. Make sure you watch the video in high quality. I am glad that I got to be in this contest and I am happy for the feedback. I will be changing some parts of my video before I post it
online based on some of the reviews that I have gotten. There were a lot of really great ones this year, I was rather impressed. Improvement over last year for sure. I may write some reviews if I get around to it.
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Joel_K
Registered:
Aug '07
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Date Posted:
6/10 3:28am
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
- Date Edited:
6/10 3:30am (2 edits total)
Edited By:
Joel_K
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Top 3
1: FSFilms. I voted for theirs because the choreography was well planned and it was very entertaining. Especially near the end were Zach and the girl fight with only one saber. I thought that was a very interesting concept. And they used their time to the limit. I certainly didn't feel skempted on the action.
And it was pretty darn cool watching just the two of them fighting against about 20 other guys.
A plus to fully rotoscoping it. Sounds like you guys had fun doing it. I wish i had rotoscoping friends.... 
2: RVB2. It was cool, but the choreography felt a little choppy. I actually, in a way, think that it may have been too fast. Not smooth/slow enough to take in the stragety behind each attack. I certainly agree with who ever mentioned how Ryan eventually made the mistake of having two sabers but using only one. That just irks the heck outta me. If ya got two, use them!
I thought that the use of the double-bladed saber in RVB1 was much better. This one seemed to have a lot more twirling and not as much hitting.
Others have also mentioned the many spots where there would have been easy kills that, seemingly, weren't taken into account and i couldn't agree more. When choreographing i think that should always be given enough attention. Unless there is a good excuse that i haven't heard of yet. Plus i didn't think the soundtrack fit. But that has nothing to do with choreography so.... 
Oh, yeah, so about Brandon. Well...umm...your style is still pretty cool. But one thing is bothering me.....Did you lose weight?
Not that you were fat in RVB1, but....well...um......crap. 
So ya got my #2 spot.
(not because Brandon is not fat, but because of everything written before the whole fat-not-fat-awesome-weight-loss-program thing.)
*clearsthroat*
Moving on.
3. ResisterOfEvil. I actually enjoyed this one pretty well. Acting was just okay. But it can always use some more work. Personally, if i was doing a lightsaber duel i'd try to do it without much acting involved. Specifically dialouge. Mostly because i dont think i can act that well. And if your trying to focus on the lightsaber action then people may get turned off by the acting before you even get into the choreo. Of course you have do some acting when dueling to make it realistic. But that's slightly different.
The first duel was good. Very well paced and choreographed. The second duel, not so much. The Sith Apprentice seemed bored. There wasn't as much enthusiam as the first duel.
The last one was great. I think you paid off very well with the Dual Saber vs. the Double-Bladed Saber. I'll be glad to see the end.
So that was my Top 3. I will(hopefully) be reviewing the rest soon.
Oh and, SilentBat? Don't worry. I wont rub it in your face that i said it was Brandon and that i was totally right and proved your theory(which was well thought out) wrong . 
 out.
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"When life gives you lemons, choke on 'em and die. You stupid lemon-eater." - Sourpuss http://www.youtube.com/user/joelkanda
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SilentBat
Registered:
Aug '06
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Date Posted:
6/10 6:30am
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
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... No, I'm not that amazing with my theory really ... just ... ya ...
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"What's the matter McFly? Chicken?" "You're killing me Smalls!" http://antoinebandele.blogspot.com http://youtube.com/profile?user=SilentBat In response to my LCC Entry " 17. White Shirt Award "
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Demogoblin2
Registered:
Mar '07
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Date Posted:
6/10 7:25am
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
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http://vimeo.com/1068698
Well there's mine if anyone's interested.
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ResisterOfEvil
Registered:
Oct '07
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Date Posted:
6/10 8:58am
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
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Wow, Looks good!
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fjrsm
Registered:
Sep '07
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Date Posted:
6/10 9:08am
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
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Well... The choreography is kinda dull... It's like all the moves are repeating themselves... The Set is quite cool, though.
By the way, I don't mean to offend in any way.
Filipe Monteiro
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FilipeMonteiro "He who laughs last, probably hasn't understand the joke..." My VFX Blog: http://l-bp.blogspot.com/
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_BrandonFlyte
Registered:
Jun '08
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Date Posted:
6/10 10:29am
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
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Joel_K posted:
Oh, yeah, so about Brandon. Well...umm...your style is still pretty cool. But one thing is bothering me.....Did you lose weight?
Not that you were fat in RVB1, but....well...um......crap.
So ya got my #2 spot.
(not because Brandon is not fat, but because of everything written before the whole fat-not-fat-awesome-weight-loss-program thing.)
I think I'm actually 10 pounds heavier in RvB2 than RvB1. Also I was 15 or 16 in RvB1 and I'm almost 20 now. Ah, puberty.
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fjrsm
Registered:
Sep '07
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Date Posted:
6/10 10:33am
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
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Really? I thought you were about the same age as Ryan's...
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FilipeMonteiro "He who laughs last, probably hasn't understand the joke..." My VFX Blog: http://l-bp.blogspot.com/
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VaporTrail
Registered:
May '02
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Date Posted:
6/10 10:50am
Subject:
RE: ***LCC VI Entries Released View/Vote/Review***
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Nope. Flyte's the baby.
That's right, kid. I said it.
-Vaportrail
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