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Author Topic: Adventures of funniness in RPGs
That_Random_Jedi 
Registered: May '05
17453_Aubrie
Date Posted: 11/17/05 3:26pm Subject: Adventures of funniness in RPGs
I'm a member of an organization called GameBase 7, based primarily in Chicago. We're a bunch of demented geeks and every game we play is filled with humor and weirdness. I shall now list the weird and funny things that have occurred during our games.

1. Somebody rammed a Dark Jedi with a speeder. On purpose.
2. This one guy took out an entire squad of stormtroopers by driving a speeder overhead and dropping a stun grenade on them. Hehe, bowling for stormies!
3. Someone else tried force-feeding a speeder to a giant carnivorous worm.
4. One of my teammates got a color-changing poncho and proceeded to spend the rest of the game saying "Now it's red. Now it's green. Now it's blue" until we were all about ready to slap him.
5. We have podracing. The rule is that at least SOME part of your pod must cross the finish line to win or place. This one guy wiped out 20 feet from the finish line, ripped the hood ornament off his pod and took off running.
6. This one guy took out an IG-88 in one shot.
7. Our motto is "We have a plan? How did that happen?"
8. We had one teammate who got knocked out so many times she earned the title of 'Dirt-Nap Queen'.
9. In one scenario, this hostile ship dumped energy-sucking biological waste on our ship. To slow the energy drain, we had to turn on every system we had. This one guy was flushing the ship's power toilet repeatedly. "Dump $#!t on US, will ya?!?!"
10. We have what we call a 'Groundhog's Day' scenario. It's basically 'solve the puzzle or be stuck in a time loop forever'. This was on Dagobah and Yoda was in it. This one guy got so pissed off he took a potshot at Yoda. YODA of all people!!!
11. Somebody actually called on the Dark Side in the module mentioned in #10. That's how frustrated he got. He took the evilness stat reduction and didn't even care.
12. Three people got sent to hack a system mainframe. None of them knew how to work a computer properly.
13. This one Jedi used the Force to con people into buying rotten meat.
14. We had a Wookiee on our team once. Every time he passed by a desk or a counter, he'd stop and ask for a beer.
15. The thing with Jedi in our game system, if they use the Force too strongly they'll attract the attention of the Emperor and Darth Vader. First time around, it's a bunch of stormtroopers. Second time, you get a Dark Jedi. This one guy botched his rolls so bad he got both in one game. We spent the rest of the game running like heck.
16. We were infiltrating a factory and came up against a passcode-locked door. The team leader said, "Anybody got the proper authorization code?" Somebody else stepped up, said "Here's MY authorization!" and blew the door clean off its hinges.
17. This one guy was a con artist. He successfully impersonated Darth Vader AND LIVED. His career goal is to do the same thing with the Emperor!
18. The guy mentioned in #17 sounds exactly like Tony Soprano, accent and all.
19. Some idiot gave a C-3PO model a blaster. Really.
20. There was this one guy who had so many cybernetic enhancements that he could punch a Chicken Walker in the leg and knock it over. He did it, too!
21. This one guy tried to rescue this other guy via swooping him off the field using a jetpack. They then promptly ran into a wall.
22. Somebody managed to disable a capital ship with a stray shot.
23. One time our team met up and we promptly started shooting at each other. Dark Side stat reductions all around!
24. This one guy has everyone aboard his ship wear sealed suits and keeps his cabin flooded with knockout gas in case he's boarded.
25. If you think #24 is bad, this other guy has all his external hatches wired with explosives. Somebody tried to board him and... BOOM! *splat* "Ouch..."
26. This one guy owns a Droid Fighter from the Clone Wars. He calls it Rufus.
27. Somebody strength-resisted six blaster shots with no damage whatsoever.
28. One time, on Bespin, there was this Imperial spy who wired himself with explosives set to go off if he lost consciousness while in a large skyscraper. He kept trying to knock himself out so he could take us all out with him. Somebody then thought of throwing him out a window. That's ONE way to get somebody out of a building...
29. A Wookiee blew up a Star Destroyer once.
30. Some knucklehead put TIE panels on an X-Wing cabin and flew that thing around.
31. We infiltrated an Imperial installation. The stormtroopers were surprisingly nice.
32. Some idiot made a 4-bladed lightsaber. You sort of fly it around using the Force.
33. One time we got in a massive firefight. Our Wookiee comrade went completely unnoticed as he picked off enemies one by one.
34. Somebody blew up a toilet once, trying to cover up their spying.
35. Two people took on nine storm commandoes and won.
36. Our pilot flies better when drunk.
37. We were spying on a meeting with our ears up against the door. Somebody opened the door and we all fell into the room and landed in a pile.
38. Somewhere else, a Jedi jumped straight in and took out an Imperial spy in mid-leap.
39. We even did the Battle of Hoth. We were in a hangar bay, our six-man team. Thirty stormtroopers came in and we all thought we were toast. They left and we thanked the Force. Then a Chicken Walker entered. We prepared to fight, but it left too. We all thought we were in the clear. Then we heard the Imperial bombers coming in. At this point our commander chickened out. "There's a small shuttle in the corner. Use it and escape. I'm going to go help out elsewhere." We took that shuttle, all right. But did we leave? Nope! We went in to fight the bombers. The classic line was spoken. "Never tell me the odds!" None of us could fly, so this one guy's droid was flying the shuttle. Then, of course, somebody got on the comlink. "Hey, Commander, guess what WE'RE doing!!!" There were eight bombers in all. We got four before retreating.

Has anyone else encountered funny stuff in Star Wars RPGs?

 

-----signature-----
I'm just a random Jedi...
A.K.A Da Force Monkey & Lady General Morgawr
Recent convert to the General Grievous = teh kewl club
Keeper of the GG Plot Bunnies
A Web Of Lies: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/20459502/p1/?227
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whiskers 
Registered: May '05
46447_MLB 2008
Date Posted: 11/17/05 3:44pm Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs
40: A group of lvl. 4 NPCs managed to take out Darth Maul. OK, he was nearly dead after taking out both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, but still!

41: Playing as an Ewok trader in the New Republic era (in a homebrew Star Wars d20 game in 1999) The GM got mad at me because I couldn't reach an identification panel. I guess he got mad because the Jawa was doing a bunch of stupid stuff.

42: In the same game as #40, I had Jar Jar Binks testify before the Galactic Senate on his involvement in the Naboo crisis. Jar Jar then proceeded to tell the Senate of a Gungan boogyfish that eats up little lying Gungans while being sworn in.

 

-----signature-----
R.I.P. E. Gary Gygax
Thank you for D&D
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Rogue_Thunder 
Title: FanForce CR, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
 Registered: Jan '03
14369_Vader Concept
Date Posted: 11/17/05 4:54pm Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs
30. Some knucklehead put TIE panels on an X-Wing cabin and flew that thing around.


That's actually called an Ugly. Cannibalized starfighters are pretty common amongst pirates. There's rules for them in some WEG expansion.

43. 4 5th level characters liberated Korriban from the Empire, then proceeded to capture the Corellian Corvette in orbit. They brough it back to the New Rep, who paid 2 million credits for it and all the loot they took. Now they're sixth level characters with 2 million credits that are thinking of starting up as pirates worried tongue

 

-----signature-----
I'll fly a starship across the universe divide
And when I reach the other side
I'll find a place to rest my spirit if I can
Perhaps I may become a highwayman again
Or I may simply be a single drop of rain, but I will remain, and I'll be back again...
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Xenon_gun 
Registered: Apr '05
14740_Luke Skywalker
Date Posted: 11/19/05 5:42am Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs - Date Edited: 11/19/05 5:45am (2 edits total) Edited By: Xenon_gun
44. (#4 reminded me of this,) (most of my funny stuff is what I heard of some other guys) This one guy was a thieving soldier, with a knack for mechanical stuff. His agenda was: Get in, shoot every semi-hostile NPC, talk later.

45. One time that guy reinforced a helmet, added a glow rod, and, generally, made it the best helmet ever made.

46. That same guy had a brilliant idea: to rob the credit bank. It would've suceeded were it not for hundreds of clones and Jedi which arrived at the scene shortly. The rest of the team is captured, but he is still running, and would've escaped using the grappling hook had he rolled high. (also, he'd have an awful lot of money) However he rolls low and is captured, too.

47. The group was in a small room surrounded by mirror walls, however, when they look at any of them, their own image attacks and hurts them, and shots are deflected back (a really small room). That's when the guy (see 44-46) decides to use explosives ( applause ). Luckily for them, the group's hear-all, see-all (he has high wis, int, spot and listen)notices a way out, and they survive.

48. (from my only campaign) The two of us (Soldier [me] and Scout [hear-all, see-all] in ROTE era) have to rescue a number of diplomats from a planet, which is occupied on the ground by pro-Separatist citizens. I get ideas generally including destroying communications posts (in order to draw guards out of the city), and these strange ideas:

1) One of us attacks the comm post with clones and digs in, while the other rescues diplomats and then flies over the post, picking the rest up.

2) We fly close to the city buildings (Jedi Academy style) and pick them up. This looks ok, until you notice that there are lots of buildings and tight passages, and none of us has decent piloting skills...

In the end we rescue them in broad daylight, going back to the ship with them. Luckily, we didn't get into problems with city "security" until we arrived at the docking bay.

 
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That_Random_Jedi 
Registered: May '05
17453_Aubrie
Date Posted: 11/19/05 8:52pm Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs - Date Edited: 11/19/05 9:05pm (2 edits total) Edited By: That_Random_Jedi
49. Somebody kills Imperials with cybernetic parts solely to steal said parts. Supposedly they're for a Frankenstein-droid.

50. We suck so badly we've even got a 'club' for people who've strength-resisted thermal detonators at point-blank range.

51. We have a Verpine whose favorite hobby is blowing stuff up.

52. (ties into #13, #14, #17, #18 and #33) One time we got sent to this backwater planet to sell a couple tons of meat and use the profit to buy some kind of valuable metal for the Rebellion. We had Tony (CENSORED!)ing Soprano working our deal, so we got a ridiculous amount of money. Then the Empire shows up. We run like heck, and encounter not one but SEVERAL Star Destroyers. By this time, the Wookiee mentioned in #14 and #33 was screaming his head off. Somebody said the classic line "I don't know... just fly casual... FLY CASUAL, DANGIT!" At this point the Star Destroyers start bombing the absolute heck outta the planet. Saturation bombing, they call it. As usual, we forgot to include a pilot in our team, so the Wookiee does it. He botches his astrogation roll so bad that he blows five character points just to get us outta there. We reached the Rebel cruiser and breathed a sigh of relief, only to realize that the Star Destroyers FOLLOWED us. They commence bombing the absolute heck out of the Rebel cruiser, so we jumped to hyperspace again. We were SO hosed by the time we left hyperspace...

53. In #52, we blamed the stench of the rotting meat on the Wookiee and DIDN'T get our arms ripped off.

 

-----signature-----
I'm just a random Jedi...
A.K.A Da Force Monkey & Lady General Morgawr
Recent convert to the General Grievous = teh kewl club
Keeper of the GG Plot Bunnies
A Web Of Lies: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/20459502/p1/?227
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Sev-07 
Registered: Mar '05
40306_Clonetrooper Republic Commandos<br>Scorch + Fixer
Date Posted: 11/21/05 11:26am Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs
Here is a funny,

Divolva the low lvled dug soldier, spotted a group of female twi'leks on a casino space station. Divolva decided he would go hang out with them,(they were getting intimate with each other)and was approached by a bounty hunter who was enjoying the view. Divolva was being an idiot and decided he would trash talk the bounty hunter, and within seconds Div was on the ground un-councious.

The bounty hunter decided he would remove his...*cough*.....wedding tackle I guess you could say.

My character (a low lvl trando monk/force adept),who was enjoying the show, stepped up and said "i think he has learned his lesson"

at that point the BH turned on me and I said, "I have no quarrel with you, I will take care of this little one." But he still left his initials on his cheek, so now he has a permanant scare on his cheek to remind him of how dumb he was.


Im always saving his arse.

 

-----signature-----
I WANT YOU for the imperial forces.
travel to exotic distant galaxies, meet a wretched hive of scum and villiany,.....
and DISENTEGRATE them.
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Koohii 
Title: Games: RPG d6 GM
 Registered: May '03
6249_Veers
Date Posted: 11/23/05 10:00pm Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs
The party found the mentally demented quasi-clone with corrupted mandalorian and jedi teaching they were chasing in a room. THe clone switched on his newly completed lightsaber. The party set a thermal detonator for 2 seconds, threw it in, and closed the door.



My first character was killed by an overly successful coniving roll.
BH: Who's this one.
Wookie: oh he's nobody. You can kill him.
BH: OK. (BLAM)



We were tracking down a holovid star. He was working on an adventure show. This episode involved the characters attacking a Rancor. THe planet is a nature preserve, so there wasn't a lot of technology allowed. We pulled up to the set in a landspeeder.
Guard: what are you doing here?
Me: Hi. We're the stunt doubles.
GM (Laughing):You tell him that! OK. Roll coniving.
Me OoC: I love having 6D+2... 28
Guard: You're late! Hurry up and get in there!



Since I couldn't hurt the Rancor from the outside, using my jet pack I flew into its mouth with my sword (yes, sword) to attack it from the inside. Didn't work.



A jedi apprentice stood by watching after a gang war as the survivor started walking to the bodies of the unconsious and dying rival gang members and shooting them dead.
Other player: "Um, aren't you, as a jedi, supposed to be doing something to STOP this kind of senseless killing? They're helpless!"
Jedi: "Um, excuse me? Miss? Please stop doing that."
Other player: "That's what you say!!!" (More laughing)



One character was spending an inordinate amount of time trying to get some recreation procreation time. Finally, I gave it to him. What he didn't know is that the person in question was a hermaphrodite, and that after satisfying himself, "she" demanded satisfaction. THe other 20 members of the company she was with knew what she was. Next time he got to base, everyone else knew about the incident too.
Since then, there has been no time spend on RPG character nookie.



A MSE-6 droid demanded transport off-planet from a party, by displaying a TD set on a deadman--um--dead-droid switch.



Brainswapping is popular with our techs. THey like to put warbot brains into MSE-6 and protocol droid bodies.

 

-----signature-----
Create happy mediums: Free prozac to all psychics & Jedi
I'm met 6yo adults and 36yo children
Still working toward Ni-Kyu Go Ju Ryu
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That_Random_Jedi 
Registered: May '05
17453_Aubrie
Date Posted: 11/24/05 12:13pm Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs
Anybody ever hear of a Great Marsh Wyrmm? Somebody killed one using a vibrorapier and a blaster. And absolutely nothing else.

 

-----signature-----
I'm just a random Jedi...
A.K.A Da Force Monkey & Lady General Morgawr
Recent convert to the General Grievous = teh kewl club
Keeper of the GG Plot Bunnies
A Web Of Lies: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/20459502/p1/?227
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mavjade 
Registered: Sep '05
41222_Mara Jade
Date Posted: 11/24/05 7:02pm Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs - Date Edited: 11/24/05 7:11pm (1 edits total) Edited By: mavjade
We have so many I couldn't think of all of them if I tried but here are a few...

-Two of the characters were trying to make lightsabers and had been looking for all the parts for several session.
GM: You enter a cave and see shiny things sticking out of the rock (or something to that effect)
Player: That reminds me...Where can we find lightsaber crystals around here?
The GM just stared at him.

-We were looking for an enemy and we knew he was in this heavily gaurded house. We managed to get through the parmeter but we were being chased. The GM tells us there is a door and two windows at ground level. Without thinking one player says, "I'll dive through the window." He dove head first into transparasteel, dazing himself instead of letting my character disable the door locking mechanism.

-We did't have any much in the way of weaponry and had to get someone back that had been captured by the Sith. Our information told us he was on a rolling fortress (at least that was what it seemed like) and gaurded by air by a fighter squardron. The GM thought it was hillarious that we had very little and couldn't get any help becuase we were on a secret mission in the unknown regions (I think he was hopeing to kill someone off tongue ) . So we totaly took apart the ship we came in, it was in bad shape anyway. We cut the hull up into shrapnel and made "shatter" bombs (thanks to shadow bombs in NJO), made bombs out of engine parts etc. There wasn't a part that was left untouched.
After we blitzed what was suposed to be an extreme encounter in 4 rounds (I think, but I know it was less than 6) one of the players looked up and said "yub yub GM"

Thoes were just a few, but some of my favorites! I hope they aren't 'you had to be there' stories!


Edit: I forgot a good one (it's also in my signature)

My character asked her Master if they should stop and help someone (or something like that, I don't exactly remember what was going on. Only that we were in a hurry.) and he look at her and said:
"There isn't time for heroic deeds."
What a great thing for a Jedi Master to say!




 

-----signature-----
Apparently, my entire job description can be boiled down to this...
CO2 + H2O <--> H2CO3 <--> HCO3 + H
Then why have I been in school so long?? raised_brow
rose Hoping for baby Isabella. May you be stong and fight hard! rose good_luck
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That_Random_Jedi 
Registered: May '05
17453_Aubrie
Date Posted: 11/25/05 2:52pm Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs
One time were dressed up as stormtroopers to filch a prisoner from an Imperial detention center, like our heroes do in ANH. Things went a little... differently.

Other guy: *shameless quote* Where are you taking this... THING?
Me: *another shameless quote* Prisoner transfer from cellblock 1138.
Other guy: ...Aren't you a little feminine for a stormtrooper?
Me: I had an accident as a child, okay?!
*major laughter all around*

 

-----signature-----
I'm just a random Jedi...
A.K.A Da Force Monkey & Lady General Morgawr
Recent convert to the General Grievous = teh kewl club
Keeper of the GG Plot Bunnies
A Web Of Lies: http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/20459502/p1/?227
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mavjade 
Registered: Sep '05
41222_Mara Jade
Date Posted: 11/25/05 8:00pm Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs - Date Edited: 11/25/05 8:10pm (1 edits total) Edited By: mavjade
That_Random_Jedi posted:
One time were dressed up as stormtroopers to filch a prisoner from an Imperial detention center, like our heroes do in ANH. Things went a little... differently.

Other guy: *shameless quote* Where are you taking this... THING?
Me: *another shameless quote* Prisoner transfer from cellblock 1138.
Other guy: ...Aren't you a little feminine for a stormtrooper?
Me: I had an accident as a child, okay?!
*major laughter all around*


laugh LOL that was good!

I live for throwing movie quotes into role playing!

We were once trying to hitch a ride from a smuggler and when he asked about passengers I said
"Myself, the wookie, two others and no questions asked."

The GM was kind of mad at me, because the NPC was going to ask questions and when he heard what we were doing he was going to join us as a follower. Because of my "no questions asked", he had to find another way to work him in.

 

-----signature-----
Apparently, my entire job description can be boiled down to this...
CO2 + H2O <--> H2CO3 <--> HCO3 + H
Then why have I been in school so long?? raised_brow
rose Hoping for baby Isabella. May you be stong and fight hard! rose good_luck
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Therren_Cragan 
Registered: Sep '05
14834_X-Wing Fighter
Date Posted: 12/6/05 1:54pm Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs
Funniest thing i ever did was shoot Bossk right in the face and sent him flying out of a window on the top story of a couruscant sky scraper in one shot. first shot of the entire fight no less, and somehow he survived. i think he landed in an aircar or something.

 

-----signature-----
We're not tools of the government, or anyone else.
You have no idea how much I hate you.
Physical appearance down 5%. Shion, I need to be cleaned.
What are you talking about? Godzilla isn't red.
Give yourself to the Dark Side.
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Marlin-Lazon 
Registered: Jul '05
23776_Jedi Academy
Date Posted: 12/11/05 5:56pm Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs
There are a few funny moments and/or situations from my time in gaming.

Once, in my d6 days, our scoundrel character was accosted by Gredo in th Mos Eisley canina. After being confronted by the bounty hunter, "Going somewhere, Jen-jun?" he replied, "...why don't you go after someone really important? ...Like Solo?" At that very moment, into the cantina walk Han Solo, in the cantina scenario of "A New Hope." "Very well," replied Gredo...and walked to his final destiny.

Did you know the bartender made an intoxicating beverage out of Gredo's body? "The best tasting bounty hunter in the galaxy!"

My 'Droid B2-401, a.k.a. "Robert Killman", is an old Baktoid Super Battle Droid. He once tore appart a protocol 'Droid, and used some of its parts to improve his own skills. He now works as a RECRUITER for the New Repubic armed forces! "Imagine, ME, designed to kill in the place of biological entities, encouraging biologcals to 'Join the Army! See the galaxy! Meet strange new and exotic species...and KILL THEM!'" He's actually pretty successful, too!

My other 'Droid, R4-K7, was re-fitted and upgraded by my friend Jub-Jub. Jub-Jub is a Jawa Techie from Tattoine...and now R4, or "Arthur" as he prefers, is equipt with a vocabulator and a 3PO hand on a quick-release mount, (Ordered new from the company, BTW), and runs his own night-club on Coruscant, and hosts his own comedy variety show on the holonets!

Our Sith, Gaath Dauk, a.k.a. "Darth Venge" wants to unite the Sith and Jedi orders...Dark + Light = Balance, and all that....

We have an Ewok Jedi on the Jedi Council.... Two of our Jedi were offered a position on the council, and they had to choose between them which one would fill the position. When asked how they chose, the Ewok said, "We flipped a coin!" There was a round of shocked and horrified looks from the counselors at this, and the Ewok said, "well, it isn't like I LOST!"

Luke Skywalker, of all people, encouraged Gaath Dauk to seek out the information that ld him to the Sith Holocron where he gained his Sith knowledge, and STILL hasn't found any reason to wipe out Gaath and his new Sith order.... "The only thing wrong with the new Jedi council is they don't even have a SITH in their ranks...!"

We one stole a star Destroyer from the Imperial Remnant...well, mostly. There were ten of us, and we managed to get back to Coruscant with 35% of the hull intact...including the engines, most of the shield generators, half the guns.... A handful of techs and a few hundred 'Droids.......

I have a Bothian Spy who sold his life for a million credits! He had a clone of himself activated so a bounty hunter could "Kill" him. Of course, it didn't hurt that the bounty huntr in question was part of our own group, and the bounty was over 6 million, and this gave my Bothian a chance to craft a brand new identity for himself...as his own twin brother!

I have a Soldier/Jedi Weaponmaster/Elite Trooper working for a crime lord! "I am a Jedi...but I am first, last, and foremost a soldier."

We have a pair of Jedi that are....well, let's just say "playful". They play practical jokes, and they once built a Dearth Vader suit and "borrowed" a red lightsaber from the Jedi temple so they could play "Sith and Jedi". They even made up a pink bunny suit for Gaath Dauk, and consructed a carrot-colored training lightsaber! (Incidentall, he didn't accept the gifts...pity.)

Well, that's just a few of the funny situations....


Marlin Lazon, Jedi Guardian, Jedi Ace, Jedi Artisan


 

-----signature-----
Hakuna Matata, Chumbatta -
That which is, is. That which will be must be.
That which will not be can never be.
Such is life.
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Nktalloth 
Registered: Sep '05
39865_Darth Revan
Date Posted: 12/12/05 8:13pm Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs
Recently (not SW, but deserves a mention), a player made a grave mistake when hiring followers. He asked me if there are any "stereotypical big axe berserker guys" up for hire. When I create a stereotype, I take it all the way...

Zave (Player): Excuse me, gentlemen, but are you for hire?
Berserker one: HADABACA!
Zave: ...Um, what?
Berserker two: He... say... he... take... mon... mon... (thinks hard) shiney.
Zave: Hm. How Much do you want?
Berserker three: GURU MAKKA LIT! HARRAMUCH!
Berserker two: He say... we... want... er... (Beats his head against the table four times)
Zave: Ah... four silver?
Berserker one: HERRRMIT BRUK MATTA LIN!
Berserker two: Grok... say... he... want... ... ... kitten... for-
Zave: Yes, fine. He can have a kitten.
Berserker two: ...SEX...

He fired the berserkers about when they started grunting and hitting each other for entertainment, two hours later.

 

-----signature-----
We learn that ninja can walk on water from Tactics Ogre.
The only other instance of walking on water is Jesus.
Therefore, Jesus is a ninja.
Look for me in Sunrunner, SWG and in Gaurdian, CoV
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Koohii 
Title: Games: RPG d6 GM
 Registered: May '03
6249_Veers
Date Posted: 12/13/05 2:41am Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs
Let me tell you about Zog. (pronounced Zawg) Zog is a 1/2 Orc barbarian.

Zog has a confused history. He was different from his brothers and sisters, and most of the other children. When he asked why, he was told a story about a raid on a merchant caravan, and a captured human who was ordered to make Zog's mother happy or die. The Human failed and died. Zog not sure what this has to do with anything. Zog Father look like other orcs in tribe, except little bigger.
Zog grow up to fight in clan wars. He good killing guy. Zog kill many bad other-tribe guys. Zog kill elfies too. Zog father get killed. Zog was sad until he found out he was only one in tribe who could wear Zog Father armor. Zog take Zog Father club too. Club name "Awuuug' s'tick". Means "elf Skul smasher", but it smash human and orc skulls too. Takes two hands to swing good.

Zog tribe leader got mad at Zog. Tribe leader wanted to use daughter marriage as excuse to claim leaderhood of other tribe, but Zog and Tribe Leader Daughter have fun first, and ruin marriage. Zog not sure why this was important to Zog Tribe Leader, but was. Zog told to leave. Zog leave.

Zog meet many people on road. Some attack Zog. Zog kill them with Awuuug' s'tick. Most run away. Zog not sure why they run away.

One day, Zog find human place with lots of stone huts. Zog very excited. Zog sees many new things. Humans strange. Humans let Zog into middle of "city", but not into most "buildings". Zog see pretty girl and try to impress her traditional way. Girl run screaming. Zog not understand why. Humans in armor with pointy metal weapons show up. Lots of them. They make Zog leave "City".
This happens many times. Sometimes Zog chased out of city, sometimes Zog locked in cave with door that does not open.

One day, Zog being chased out of city by men in shiney armor when person who look kinda like Zog ride by on horse. He wear shiney armor with Sun symbol on it. He ask men in shiney armor what Zog done. Zog explain Zog not understand. Like-Zog asks men in armor to let Like-Zog take care of Zog, and they say "OK."
Like-Zog say that he is knight of god of Sun. He teach Zog of rules of "Civelisashun". Zog shocked to find out he was doing bad things. He call Like-Zog "F'uffy"--It mean "Spiritual Master".

So Zog now Civelized. He wash in water with "bubbling stone that melts and smells funny" even though he sweats regular. Sometimes he has to pay more if he forgets himself and makes more water in tub. Zog clean hide armor too, and not in same water that Zog use to clean self. Zog also not beat ZogStick to impress girls who are pretty (was way he learned in tribe). Instead he show them coins he earns working as guard. Sometimes girls like him then. Best of all, Zog not been put in cave with door that not open or chased out of town by men in shiney armor in over a year. Zog looks for way to thank F'uffy, but has to find F'uffy first. Until then, Zog talks to F'uffy by talking to neclace with F'uffy's symbol on it. Zog made symbol prettier by adding trophies from things he's killed to it so F'uffy will know that Zog is good fighter and remembers F'uffy.

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Zog has no magical items. Everything is strictly mundane (though the smells are a little exotic). He still wears the hide armor he got at first level, and weilds the 2-handed club he started with. Even when better weapons are offered to him, he sticks to what he inherited from his father. Though he has been taught the ways of civilization by the paladin that rescued him from the mob, he still has only levels in barbarian. In combat he charges the nearest opponent with full power-attack. In fact, he always uses full power-attack.
On the surface, one would think that Zog would be of limited entertainment value. On the other hand, watching the expressions on the other gamer's faces when Zog smashed valuable treasure or turns down massive treasure is fun. Best of all is the "But it's a plus 4 sword, TAKE IT!"
"Zog use Awuuug' s'Tick. Not need 'sword'."

What's your backup weapon?
Zog back up, then charge

Range Weapon?
Zog charge!

Sometimes playing an anti-munchkin character can drive the munchkins & game mechanics and rules-lawyers into amusing fits. I also like the Ug Stick and Master Fluffy. "Master Fluffy" was actually one of the other party members, a 1/2 orc Paladin. My previous character got irrevocablly killed (burned to ash & scatterd in a wind storm) doing something stupid, so I had to make up a new one. The paladin's player was ammused at the idea of having civilized another 1/2 orc.

 

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DARTH_MARK-22 
Registered: Mar '03
6845_Silent Bob
Date Posted: 1/19/06 2:44am Subject: RE: Adventures of funniness in RPGs
(Jedi Master and Padawan at a space-station casino, trying to raise enough money for passage to another planet)

Padawan: Isn't it unethical for a Jedi to engage in gambling?
Master: Remind me to tell you about an old friend of mine, named Qui-Gon.

 

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"What the Hell's an Aluminum Falcon?!."
--Emperor Palpatine
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