ITT we do Star Wars in hillbilly

THE PortmanLuvva an' me'er getton dane makinew strings ur threads ur whatever yu folks 'round here jargon 'bout dem Cosmic Wars'o'sumthin-sumthin.

Darth Vader: The deal's a'changing! You best pray to the LORD boy dat it dun' change no more!

Luke Skywalker: Gee ma daddis dead. Shure wish he'da taken a snow shovel to de Mr bad..man emperoww

Dem Hillbillis dagong steeeerike back. Return of dose city-folk over yonder. A New Deal.

 

Yeehaaw.. Fricken city folk. Don't tak tu me bout dem city folk, aways talkin'n bout du lates' gajets an hoows got du biggest little jimmiy. I betsif thuy had bin borneded back in dem space ages, theyda beene forced un wotnot. chopped 'n' half, dun youw agree..

 

Amen brutha. So dis is how 'merican freedum dies...with thund'rous hand-bangin. Don’t call me no mindless bumpkin, you prissy fat-man wid' all does cifified airs.

 

Ey, oow you callin' prissy fat man. Betto n'be me mayn. Hell, theyrs sum mindless fat prissy mans around but i ain't it boy.

Keep ur head ina game cletus. Yeh daths right, ima bringing names. Hahaha Guffaw

 

Hahaha. Fatass slug jabba dun gone get choked buy a purdy little lady. Min' she wus chaned up using quarter inch. That stuffs a b£$ch to cut inta.

 

-Ey! Ey 'George! Come see this here lad goin' round this nascar track, y'all not gonna believe your peep-holes!

 

I'm yo' daddy, Luke!

Well, slap my mama...wait, ain'chu my cousin, too?

Yeah, 'bout that...

 

I hate sand.
The darnded stuff is so dang gritty, I been findin' it everyplace.

You one of those angels?
Them's from the other side of the trailer park, I think.

 

What are midichlorians?

Them little buggers, kinda like dem bed bugs they keep a talkin' bout. Won't go nowhere once they get in, and ya'll better be prepared to whack 'em with a stick when ya can. Kinda like sand.

Death Star? Why, I built one of 'em back in my day, back in '45. It didn't have any of those fancy-shmancy superlasers or nothin'; back in my day, we were lucky enough to have power in them trailer parks to power our toy gad-jits.

 

I mus' have bin stayin ata park neer you then. thinking bout it, I member seeeyin wat i sees to lookike a bigass baysbawl sittin in a field. Lookin aw rustiy un tornup. Heyl, wunce i let ma kids inside, theyre wernt none flashin lights or beepymabobs left, aws theyr was, was fyrcraker remayns un moonshine stains.
ha ha. oh an wen yu get this mesij, lemmy now athink ma cusin's clothes ar still insiyd tht peece 'o' s'crap. Sea wut a did theyur.

 

Wheeeeweee! I was thinkin they smelled somethin awful deesgustin on th'outside.

 

This thread is killing me