JCC Justify your crimes here

You stand before this court accused of atrocious crimes. Make your final justifications for your actions, after which you will either be pardoned (unlikely) or sentenced accordingly (most probably).

 

I watch copious amounts of True Crime shows on Investigation Discovery. Murders, kidnappings, con people... fascinating. It's research for my crime drama writing! IT'S MY DUTY

 

Yes I rigged the bomb that blew up the bus full of orphans....however, your Honor, it was in self defense.

 

I am guilty. But in all fairness so is everyone else. Who here hasn't committed a crime? Even a small one. You're all guilty.

 

@sj That is a terrible justification.

CONDEMNED!!

You must now post a picture of Dr. Who naked.

 

I did it because hey, **** yourself

 

I believe the expression is 'hey, go **** yourself.'

 

How dare you question my work ethic! And he's called The Doctor! But FINE, fascist.

 

Aytee-Aytee: Fair enough. PARDONED.

FID: No excuse!! CONDEMNED. You must now post a haiku about what a great emperor Jello is.

Stackpole: Terrible! CONDEMNED. Tell us the most embarrassing thing you can see from your computer.

 

I do not recognize your lack of recognition of this . . . OOOOH!

CONDEMNED!!

Give us 3 sentences about the most ridiculous Roman Emperor ever.

 

i don't have to justify a damn thing. i did what i did and i'd do it again.

 

Jello the greatest
He squishes and wiggles
Not much else

 

I have committed no crimes here, therefore I have no crimes to justify.

 

Master_Jacen: Horrible! You are CONDEMNED, sir! You must now reveal to us the secret of your most delicious cake.

FID & Jello . . . very well. You may go.


EDIT: Juliet, that is the worst justification yet seen. CONDEMNED. Now you must post what will happen on this date in 2031.

 

I post on an internet forum. However, I have a really amusing username, avatar, and signature.

 

I couldn't help it, your Honor. He had a sweet hat!

 

IAreTheInternets: CONDEMNED! Where is your amusing avatar now?!! However, as you are a newer user, I am prepared to be merciful. Post an abbreviated version of the JCC ABC's, covering only letters A, F, K, and W.

RC-1991: Lies! You are CONDEMNED!! Post an animated gif of someone, other than The Doctor, dancing with a fez.

 

In the year 2031, a comet slams into the earth. Rocks fall, everybody dies.

 

Your honor, I put a melon on the head of my cat.




I feel no shame.

 

I see nothing wrong with launching the elderly with trebuchets. I'll launch you next. That's right, grandma.

 

Bender: CONDEMNED!! Post a YouTube video of the power ballad you will sing to your cat as a feeble attempt to make amends. If possible, post a sound file of you singing said song.

EDIT:

Vivec: You know, I nearly pardoned you. I see nothing wrong with launching the elderly either, and you did correctly spell "trebuchets." But "Grandma?" OOH! You wee punk! CONDEMNED!!!

Now you must find a link to a stupid internet game that is as close to launching the elderly out of trebuchets as possible, so we can all play at home.

 

my most delicious cake is like, a yellow cake with chocolate frosting in an 11x9 pan. the secret? i'm horrible at cakes.

 

I'm white and/or incredibly wealthy and/or a giant corporation.