Fanclub **The New Official Yoda Fanclub** The Swamp Stew is our ally, and a powerful ally it is!

Bring on the stories!

Should I start a campfire?

 

We interupt this poopy program to bring you the following Yoda fan fics.



Anyone and everyone from the Jedi Council Forums may cast their vote via PM to Rainbow Knight Star for the following stories within 72 hours.
The winner will receive colors for one whole week. Good luck to all contestants.

Let’s go, Son!

'Under cover missions, I love and hate them. There is always excitement but more often days and days of boredom. Then there is the problem of explaining Yoda. He gets insulted if we call him a pet but even in a galaxy of strange creatures he's hard to explain.

Busboy didn't work in the cantina, all the floating glasses confused and aggravated the patrons.

The judge at races didn't work he kept announcing the results before the winner crossed the finish line.

Cook didn't work because...(Burp) ...just the thought upsets my stomach.

Musician, his nails damaged the strings or keys before the song was over.

Porter he drug the peoples clothes down the hall floor.

This time maybe...'

“Father. Look alright, do I” Padawan Yoda asked.

The shop clerk looked puzzled again.

“Don't ever get drunk on AVGfour. You wake up married to some strange women and their divorce laws are deadly.”

The clerk raised one eyebrow and quickly made an excuse to leave.

“Yes Yoda it looks... appropriate for the mission. Now collect your things and lets pay and get out of here before the clerk calls the PTR guards.”

~`~

Two day travel on a lumbering animal through jungles, swamps and now up mountains. 'Why couldn't we just fly here it would be so much easier on my bum?' He thought.

“Master, recommended the council did that attention as foreigner it would draw.” Yoda startled him.

“I've told you not to read my mind with out my permission.” Master Sistro warned his Padawan.

As they rounded the rock formation they saw the compound in question.

“Here we are, remember we are on a fact finding mission only. No lightsabers! No Jedi platitudes.

“Learn these how will I if recite them, I don't.”

“Just not on missions.”

Just then the PTR guards surrounded them. “We are to escort you to the boss. You have been vouched for but you are to keep your hands where we can see them. Any sudden movements and it will be your last.”

“We will obey all your commands.” He said more to Yoda than to the guards.

The passages to the bosses lair was low and cramped, only Yoda moved with ease. The last door opened up into a large room, spacious, bright and occupied by several women dancing to a slow flute melody and one older man in a green suit.

“I understand you are looking for the maker of synthetic red crystals. You found me.” He laughed maniacally.

“Only two groups are interested in them and I somehow don't think you are Sith.”

Red lightsabers lite up the room, all the dancers were trained to use them, well.

Before he could warn his Padawan Yoda flew into the air twirling, striking and bouncing off walls. furniture and a big red headed guard. “Master”

'I would have never believed this my new Padawan.' He thought. He caught the thumb lever on his lightsaber and the fight was on.

The room was filling up with more men and women with red lightsabers from the way they came in.
Several men came out of a door behind the Boss's desk and with it a breath of fresh air.

“Yoda!” He called and ran in that direction, as soon as he saw daylight he activated the locator beacon.

The fight continued down the hall and on to the roof but he and Yoda managed to get back to back to fight them off for what seemed like forever.

A small silver ship came out of the clouds with the ramp open and Master Frank standing on the side holding the hinge. “Now!”

Master Sistro and Yoda Force jumped and landed on it. The ramp started closing as soon as they touched down and the ship disappeared into the clouds, then into space where a larger ship awaited.

Master Sistro turned to Frank, “We need to contact the Council. We have a whole new war on our hands.”

Lara Dear

It was the peak of harvest season, the market was the perfect place to have lunch. The sun was warming his sore bones after a mission gone bad and he was ordered to recuperate on a beautiful planet just discovered off the normal trade route.
He purchased the local produce that looked most like what he was familiar, pulled up a wooden crate dusted any excess dirt off and ate the rest.
A small human girl with long brown hair was talking to everyone that slowed down near her. She apparently knew everyone and had something to say to each one. “How's the baby? Did you finish your roof before it rained? Your momma feeling better?...”
Her mother finally got annoyed at her and said, “If you don't be quiet the Jedi are going to come and take you away.”
She sat back on her crate arms folded, lips pouched and sulked. Then she noticed him.

“If you knew what they put in the dirt they grow that in, you wouldn't eat it. Bantha poodoo, yuck, they say they age it but that sounds like it would make it worse.”
Her mother looked at her and pointed a finger at her, she quieted for a minute.
Just as he got a mouth full of a root vegetable she asked. “Your one of them Jedi aren't you? Have you come for me? Do you have one of those fighting light sticks? Where do you keep it?”
He couldn't answer one question before she'd asked three more so he finally pulled his robe aside and showed her his lightsaber, maybe that would quiet her.

“Hey! That's cute. I was wondering how you were going to walk with one of the big ones dragging the ground.”

“Built my size, I did?”

“Do you really take little girls away to be soldiers in the war? Do they all get a light stick? Do you teach them how to talk?”

“Lara, I'm going to give you to the first Jedi I see if you don't shut up. My head won't hold any more and I have customers to help.”
She sat back in what was apparently her trademark sitting position for a minute then. “Can you teach me how to talk?”

“Learned you have, how to talk.”

“No! Not with my mouth with my head, if I don't talk all the time it comes out my head.”
'See and people don't like it when they hear me in their head.'
'Yes, fix that we can. For now to sleep you must go.'
* * *
A few hours later the produce was gone and Lara was still asleep. Her mother came over and felt of her head several times in the mean time. The first chance she got she picked her up and said, “Lara Dear, wake up. Are you feeling alright?”

Lara roused and said, “I had the best dream. I got to go to the Jedi school and there were lots of other kids there. We learned how to talk in our head only when we wanted to and how to float things and ... and...”

“Lara Dear, I wouldn't really give you to a Jedi. I was just tired and trying to work.”

“It's OK, Momma I met a real Jedi and he's going to take me to the school. I want to go. I want to learn all the Jedi things.”

“Where did you meet a real Jedi?”

“Him!”
Short green with strange hands and feet wasn't what she wanted to see but more like the threats parent used to scare their children into behaving. Without realizing it she had started shaking her head. “No, I didn't mean it. I don't really want to give her away.”

“Stealing children the Jedi way is not. Dangerous not to be trained it is. Bad people steal them they do, for their abilities.”

“Soldiers, Jedi are not. Peace keepers, we are. Love our Padawan learners, we do.”

“This is going to take some time, could you come to our house and stay for a while so I can think about it?”

“Happy to I would be.”
Just then Lara bounced for joy. “The Jedi's coming to our house. Can I go with him? Can I? Can I? ... Oh! ... What's your name?”

The Forest of A Thousand Faces

-A Jedi walks into a cantina and approaches the bar. The bartender asks: "What can I get fer ya my little friend?"

"Ate something I did. Agree with me it does not. Your refresher I would like to use."-


-Oh, stop with your . . . embellishments and tell them a decent account. This is history not an adventure story.-


-Yes, Master.-


-The food will be ready in a few minutes.-


-Yes, Master.

So then, the planet of Landonia is-


-Is that really the name of it?-


-I don’t remember. I was told about it a long time ago and the planet is very far away. Is there something burning in the kitchen?-


-No. Oh, alright. I need some things from the garden. I’ll go and not interrupt anymore until lunch is ready.-


-Now where was I?-


=Landonia.=


-Yes, right.

The planet is, on the surface, mostly jungles. There was only one small spaceport and no one ever explored further because nobody who had had ever returned from the jungle. That includes a Jedi knight.

The Jedi Council was running out of time. They had only a few days to rescue a hostage and now they were missing one of their own so they decided to send the best.

The Grand Master Jedi Yoda first noticed the strangeness of the planet when he discovered that ship scanners could not penetrate the jungle canopy. After he landed he did a thorough search of the spaceport.
In the cantina he overheard one of the kidnappers and learned that the hostage was with several more kidnappers hiding deep in the jungle.

Master Yoda left the cantina and stepped to the edge of the trees. The Force spoke to him. He put down his lightsaber-


=[gasps]=

-Yoda entered the jungle and daylight disappeared. He had barely traveled a few meters when a small winged humanoid glowing green approached and beckoned him to follow. They traveled very far. Along the way Yoda noticed many species he had never seen before. There was the tribe of felines that could turn themselves invisible. The Jedi Master says that they were very helpful. Many different tribes living in the canopy. A large population of insectoid people dominated a large part of the jungle but they were at war with the arachnids on one side, their territory was the most dangerous, and the mushroom people eroding their border on the other side. Yoda had conversations with flowers and birds listened to some of his tales. He had found a civilization unlike any other known in the galaxy. Many intelligent races and none of them had tools or even clothes.

After awhile Yoda grew skeptical of the direction they were heading so he picked a very old tree to sit under and that’s when he fell down a very wide and deep hole. There was no way to climb and it was too far to jump so he entered a tunnel. After a long crawl through roots and dirt, with only the worms to keep him company, he finally came to a tunnel just big enough for him to stand up and walk in and on the other side he could see light. Then, for the first time in over 500 years, something snuck up on The Great Jedi Master. It stood just out of reach but Yoda could see that it was about the same height as himself. It was an unusually large rodent. Yoda spoke to it but all the creature could do was repeat his greetings and questions back to him. Yoda decided it was not intelligent just very curious. Just then he heard something that might have been a dragon. He climbed toward the light and the danger above that he could sense.

Out of the hole and back on top of the ground but back in the jungle Yoda found himself at the edge of a small clearing and the top of an ancient building sticking out of the ground. Parked on top of it was the kidnappers ship and a speeder he had seen at the spaceport was hovering just above. The kidnappers were bringing the hostage out of the building and the trees began to move. The Force told Yoda of the invisible felines all around and ready to attack.

The Jedi leapt to the hostage and kidnapper that was carrying her. Before the kidnappers could react Yoda had leapt back out with the small hostage and the felines had captured all of the kidnappers. The speeder tried to make a getaway but the trees grabbed it and it’s driver. The felines brought one more out of the ship and they all disappeared into the jungle. All that was left was Yoda, a baby and a ship ready for flight.

And now my senses are telling me that our food is ready. Yoda’s exciting adventure in babysitting will have to wait until later.-


=awwwwww=


-What would Yoda say?-


=Even a Jedi needs to eat.=

 

Is that all of them?

 

Yes, I'm sorry to say. I had hoped for more entries, but 3 was all I received.

 

Yeah! The stories are up. Love the reading. No poop stories though.

Aaah! there was one with the 'fresher' and bad food.

 

Remember, authors can vote, but not for themselves.

Come on, EUC, Fan Fiction, SWC, everybody. I know you're out there. I want to get lots and lots of votes from you, so read and make your choice!

Sistros Tayla Sky benknobi1 Jedi Chloe Darth_Furio Pearlsaber Adirondackjedi27 LordMortis315
Frank, tag some more club members.
Lea, you too. Just don't tag the same ones as Frank and me.

 

Rainbow Knight Star

Is there a message board or thread you could post the contest in?

You could add 'vote in writing contest' to the thread title line. It would be seen by all viewing the SWC page.

 

I'll PM you RKS

 

Well Frank I guess we'll have to be on our best behavior, company's coming to the club.

Oh! No! My Sunday dress is at the cleaners.

 

@Lea-ElI have never seen anything like that here in the SWC. I'm just wondering if I should post it somewhere in the Fan Fiction forums. Of course, I would have to ask a mod first.

 

Joy go to the first post in the club

click on edit

there is a more options option. It changes the title line for the SWC forum. just add the extra message. Maybe ask a mod

Rainbow Knight Star

Humm! this is different from the fanfic threads there is no edit button??? I dunno know

 

Oooooh! I didn't know this was a dress up contest. Do I have to wear heels? I'm not a heels person.

What's it with the poop stories? I can do peeing stories, does that count.

Rainbow Bright this was a good idea to bring the club together.

 

1. Rainbow Knight Star: President
2. Frank T.: Vice President
3. Lea-El: VMLIP
4. Valairy Scot
5. K’Kruhk
6. FARK2005
7. LordMortis315
8. Zeta1127
9. Master Jedi Kenobi
10. Jedi Chloe
11. Benknobi1
12. JediGalaxySparkle
13. adirondackjedi27
14. Sistros
15. Tevase2
16. Pearlsaber
17. Air Jedi
18. Agarwaen the Elven King
19. I Are The Internets
20. Tayla Sky

Club Allies:

1. Darth_furio


Scroll to the top of this page

read three short stories

vote

I left a few for you, Lea-El.

 

This is not my cup of tea. I keep hearing Lea-El who???

I'll do the one I pulled for. @Darth_furio

There is a writing contest in the fan club. If you would like to read (above) and vote (pm votes to Rainbow Knight Star.)

 

My family was shopping the hair section. There was a new way of making hair buns. My husband's first words were get two and you can do Princess Leia. You can't take him anywhere.

 

So am I gonna hafta tag the rest of the club or will you?

 

I don't understand your system it looked like you had finished. Really.

 

Tag the ones that are not crossed out and not tagged already

 

Yes Master

Valairy Scot
K'Kruhk
FARK2005
Zeta1127
Master Jedi Kenobi

There is a writing contest going on in the club if you would like to participate read the stories above and PM Rainbow Knight Star with your vote.

 

Good job

 

Remember this is my best behavior.

 

But I wanna hear poop stories.

 

The new girl says she has peeing stories. Tag her

 

not as fun