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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Canderous and Cade's Crazy Cantina: a shiny new fanfiction social thread!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Commander-DWH, Aug 31, 2012.

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  1. mavjade

    mavjade Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2005
    Sorry about your friends, Briannakin. :( You really just never know with relationships. My ex and I started dating when we were 17, got engaged at 21 and he broke it off at 26, 2 months before we were to get married. We never had any real problems he just fell out of love with me. (So he says). My parents met when my mom was 16 and my dad was 18. Started dating at 18 and 20, got married at 22 and 24 and will have been married 38 years in October.
     
  2. TrakNar

    TrakNar Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2011
    My brother is about three years into his marriage and I'm just watching the drama pile up. He was dating his wife since high school, and they married nine years after he proposed to her. Their dating was full of drama, the engagement was full of drama, and their marriage is full of drama. I give it five more years.

    And speaking of relations and parents... I told my mom that I was heading to San Francisco in May. Now, I have a history of flying out to conventions and visiting friends in other states. So, what's the first thing that my mom asks me about the trip?

    "Did you turn gay?"

    o_O
     
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  3. Briannakin

    Briannakin Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2010
    I've come to realize that they probably want to get married so soon mainly because they want to sleep together... Or his reason anyways (both come come from very Christian homes) which isn't the best basis for marriage (I would know, it was the basis for my parents marriage that lasted on and off for 6 years). I have a feeling the relationship will eventually end in trouble, just because she is the kind of person to go into denial about relationship problems, some of which I plainly see.

    But I have come to the conclusion that people in love are going to make stupid decisions. Sometimes it will affect their happiness, but it doesn't have to affect mine.

    Lol. What convention are you going to, Trak?
     
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  4. TrakNar

    TrakNar Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2011
    Wookieepedia get-together. Nothing overly fancy.

    Wookieepedia was also the reason for when I traveled to Florida. Well, that and CVI. But despite all that, my sexuality is the first thing that Mom latches onto.

    o/` If you're going to San Francisco... It must be because you turned gay. o/`
     
  5. Iverna

    Iverna Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 20, 2008
    *lol* Legitimate question... :p

    And I will say, that's my one problem with that wait-till-we're-married thing. It makes (or can make) people rush into something that maybe they're not ready for. Especially teenagers, who are generally hormonal messes and not really in the best position to make long-term decisions. Not saying it can't work out, but yeah.

    Wise words. That's the sort of thing a character might say near the end of a novel or something! Sorry about all the drama you're having to put up with, but yeah, definitely remember that - it's not your problem. You can help and be there and give advice and hugs, but don't let it become your own problem.
     
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  6. LexiLupin

    LexiLupin Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2011
    *thumbs up*
    I also think it's important for people to try to live together, if at all possible, before getting married. Early morning, pre-coffee compatibility is probably far more important than date-night compatibility. :p
     
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  7. Iverna

    Iverna Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 20, 2008
    Yep. It's weird, my mother always stressed this to me, but my parents never actually did it. They moved in together after they got married. It lasted a good while, but only because my mother had FAR too much patience. I think before you marry someone, it's important to know things like, will they pull their weight around the house, or will you be stuck doing everything? Because it's almost always those "details" that'll get between people in the end. My mother always told me that. She just didn't follow her own advice. :p

    I mean, I know it from college. There were some people I would've gotten along fine with if we hadn't lived together. As it was, I always had to clean up after them and ended up hating them. If we'd lived in different houses, we probably would've stayed friends. I think moving in together is a good test of any relationship, romantic or otherwise.
     
  8. Jedi_Lover

    Jedi_Lover Chosen One star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 1, 2004
    I had a best friend. We went to preparatory school and college together. She was the maid of honor in my wedding. The last semester in college we roomed together. By the end of the semester we wanted to kill each other. She asked me if I still wanted her as maid of honor. I told her, "Sure, once we arent rooming together we'll be friends again." Lol! And it was true.

    Unfortunately we had a falling out shortly after because I warned her that the guy she was dating was a womanizer. She told me I was wrong and their relationship was different. She thought they were on the track to marriage, but at graduation his hometown "fiance" showed up. He played her...and now she was so embarrassed that she stopped talking to me for a while. Then she found another guy to date. I told her, "I'm pretty sure he is married." She thought I was trying to derail her romance. Turned out I was right. I think by then she was too embarrassed to hang around me and I had moved so we lost contact.

    Dont get involved in your friend's romantic life. It always bites you in the butt.
     
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  9. mavjade

    mavjade Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2005
    This. 100 times, this. I'm a completely different person pre-coffee than I am any other time. ;)

    I remember in high school I had a psychology teacher who was a little obsessive and had been though living with people a few times. She emphasized that people sometimes really liked or loved each other but there were things they couldn't live with, some things can be changed or lived with (like toilet paper over or under, squeezing or rolling toothpaste) but sometimes those things add up and/or something that can't be changed just can't be lived with.
     
  10. Briannakin

    Briannakin Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2010
    IMO, the times of 'waiting for marriage' is dead. Yes, I'm a Christian but I think divorce or a lifetime of misery is way worse than sex before marriage.

    I'll be there for her if she does decide to do something rash, but I'm staying out of the advice aspect. People, especially teenagers, in love are crazy, irrational and stupid.

    In OTHER dramatic news with my two other friends that just broke up, things have come out and people are taking sides. IT'S WORSE THAN SOME DIVORCES!

    Ugh. Between the two situations, never have I been so glad I'm single.
     
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  11. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    I made it to the O's for my very, very long file shed organizing shuffle... and I started in mid-February. Yay for the O's!!!!
     
  12. TrakNar

    TrakNar Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2011
    I used to "save myself for marriage." Then, I grew up and realized that I should live a little.

    In other news, I finally emptied one of my plant pots and repotted my cat-and-kittens in it, then watered it. And I'm still waiting for my praying mantis egg case to hatch.
     
  13. moosemousse

    moosemousse CR Emeritus: FF-UK South star 6

    Registered:
    Oct 3, 2004
    As far as I'm concerned, sex is something that other people do. I was all 'no sex before marriage' and then I realised it wouldn't work, so I compromised and went 'no sex outside of a committed relationship. If it leads to marriage then great, if it doesn't then it's no big deal. As it happens, I'm now single and have never been close to getting engaged, so, um, yeah.

    When it comes to sex ed, I think it's important to focus on two things: safe sex and that it's ok to not have sex. Safe sex is important because people will have sex. Knowing how to do it safely is important to make sure that no accidents happen, like STIs or teen pregnancy. They'll have sex no matter how much you tell them not to so you might as well tell them how to do it safely. But I also think that kids need to know that it's ok if they don't want to have sex. Whether they want to save themselves for marriage or they're like me and just aren't interested, it's absolutely ok to be a virgin.

    Films like 'The 40 Year Old Virgin' and shows like '40 Year Old Virgins' don't help. They just perpetuate the myth that life is all about sex sex sex, and the media doesn't help as everything seems sexualised these days. Life is not all about sex and some of us are just gosh darn plain not interested. I'm not saying it's bad to like sex or it's wrong to have lots of sex, it's just the attitude that sex is the be all and end all when in my experience it's just pretty meh.

    TrakNar: you must share pictures! I'd love to see the egg case hatch, but new born mantises would be just as awesome. :D
     
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  14. TrakNar

    TrakNar Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2011
    I'm not even sure when it will hatch. I could induce an early hatching by bringing it inside and keeping it in a terrarium. First, though, I need to get a terrarium.
     
  15. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    Thanks to the wayback machine, I finally found my missing drabble sets! Hee!!! (And in other news, the dog made some new friends at the dog park today.)
     
  16. TrakNar

    TrakNar Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2011
    I am slowly teaching my sister-in-law that...

    [​IMG]
     
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  17. Briannakin

    Briannakin Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2010
    Lol. You can buy like clip things for grocery bags. You clip them all together and carry by them by the clip. The things hold like 50 pounds. I want two.

    So, my older, huge cat drinks out of the toilet, so my kitten decided to try it out. It didn't end well. Thankfully she didn't get too wet.
     
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  18. TrakNar

    TrakNar Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2011
    Clips. Bah! I'd sooner break my fingers as I'm hauling ten bags (in each hand) up a flight of stairs and opening my door with my foot!

    And poor kitty. Toilet drinking for not-so-big cats never ends well...
     
  19. Jedi_Lover

    Jedi_Lover Chosen One star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 1, 2004
    I tell my boys that if they don't help me carry in the groceries then they don't get to eat anything that I bought that day. That usually gets them moving. They get pretty mad when they realize I just bought cleaning supplies.

    In my youth I didn't believe in sex before getting engaged to be married. I've been engaged to be married a few times. :p
     
  20. JediMara77

    JediMara77 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    See, I got something totally different out of that movie: that it's okay to be yourself, no matter what your friends or society tells you.
     
  21. Iverna

    Iverna Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 20, 2008
    I was sort-of raised Christian, in that I went to religion class in school and occasionally to church and all. No one ever said anything about sex, though. I ended up going through sex ed four times, in different classes in school. It just worked out that way. Some of them were terrible though. My biology teacher made immature jokes and my religion teacher, who was a priest, got fired after I finished 3rd year because he was a perv and people complained. We could've done with more in-depth safe sex stuff. Like, they would tell us "use this", but not how it worked or how to use it.

    But all that morality stuff around sex - eh. I don't see the point. It used to have a purpose, but people don't really marry for financial or social reasons anymore. I think the message should be, it's okay to do it, it's okay not to do it, and if you do go for it, here's how to be careful and responsible about it. Slut-shaming and virgin-shaming are equally stupid.

    I always close the lid to my toilet now because my cat will drink from it otherwise. I wouldn't mind that, but she's the messiest cat ever so it splashes all over the place when she does it. No thanks. :p
     
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  22. Dantana Skywalker

    Dantana Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2002
    Our cats don't drink out of the toilet. They're fussy and will only drink out of these water dispenser things.

    All I'll say on the sex thing is that I was raised Mormon.
     
  23. Iverna

    Iverna Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 20, 2008
    My cats will drink out of anything and everything except their water bowls. They hate clean water, apparently. Toilets, puddles, various containers of rainwater, the floor, or straight from the tap.... yum. But if it's in a bowl meant for them? Eww. Doesn't matter what bowl it is, either. They're a bit weird.
     
  24. Jedi_Lover

    Jedi_Lover Chosen One star 5

    Registered:
    Nov 1, 2004
    My cat sits in the toilet. He likes water. Then he gets out and leaves water all over the toilet seat.
     
  25. Iverna

    Iverna Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 20, 2008
    *lol* So much for cats hating water...
     
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