Census Do you look people in the eyes when you talk to them?

Just curious.

 

I am comfortable with looking people in the eye the entire time, but I often find that they aren't. They probably think I'm a serial killer.


I am, but the assumption is still offensive.

 

what he said^

 

Yes, it is important to look people in the eye(s) to establish strong social bonds with fellow humans, but I often inadvertently don't look at people when I talk to them, and they probably notice it more than me. I don't know what the opposite has to do with trust; it's more about comfort. I have to remind myself as I'm talking to look at the person, look at the person as I talk. When the other person talks, I can easily look at the person but probably think more about how I look, like if I really look attentive or like I care what's coming out of the person's mouth, or think about what to say next. When I was younger I noticed I always looked at the mouth as someone talked. Why not? It's what's moving.
This is one of many reasons I prefer communicating like this. No eyeballs and having to respond? (nod) to every little upseaking pause? ("uh huh") that people make? ("yeah") as they talk? ("uh huh") do you know what I'm saying?" ("yep") and all that annoying stuff.

 

Average conversation:
Person: "what did yo do over the weekend?"
Me: "I woke up, went grocery shopping, ate some oatmeal..."
"Really?"
"Yep."

Perhaps according to you, if I looked right in the person's eyeballs as I told him that I ate oatmeal, he would have believed me, shut up, and not replied with the inquisitive "really?"
If someone doesn't look at me as he gives me some information, I'm not selfish enough to think that person has some sort of problem.

 

See, if you had looked him dead in the eye and said it with a dramatic air of desperation in your voice, he would have believed it straight away. It's hard to believe someone would eat oatmeal without some kind of drama in their life that forces them to.

 

Yeah, sure. I don't stare at them the whole time, but I make eye contact at the appropriate times.

Never making eye contact is unthinkable to me, like never smiling.

 

When people are telling me something important/srs I will look in their eyes the whole time. I shift more when I do the talking or when the conversation is light

 

But what if they don't have eyes? What do you do then?

WHAT DO YOU DO THEN????????

 

I have a hard time with it when I'm speaking to someone else, but then when I'm listening to someone I tend to make a lot of eye contact. That's pretty standard for a conversation with any introvert.

 

You don't need to look someone in the eye for them to see you.

 

I try to especially when talking to a student's parent or on interviews. In class it's easier to look at foreheads. I don't turn bright red or laugh or freeze anymore when I do though. It's tough as a near-introvert

 

I do....but I do this:

 

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I only look at one of their eyes.

 

I've actually got severe chronic backstabbing disorder so, no, I really shouldn't be trusted anyway.

 

I balance it out back and forth. If they're talking a lot I look a their shoulder sometimes, if it's back and forth I stay at their eyes. Important to efficient lying.

 

i look people in the eyes when talking, yes. and listening. but i will look away at suitable moments to break the stare, otherwise too much of it will get a little weird. there's usually plenty of opportunity to do this.

 

it depends. if they have a missing limb or a huge zit on their nose or something i'll usually just stare at that.

 

Most of the time.

 

Yes. I do.