CT Let's have some fun with "Star Wars, Twisted Logic"

Because the back of their eyeballs include a special reflective layer called the tapetum lucidum.

Why would someone who probably has a lot of people looking for him walk up to a total stranger and announce having a death sentence in 12 systems?

 

Dr Evazan was drunk and stupid. Probably lying, too.

What happened to Lobot?

 

Eventually, BSOD.

Where do you find CTRL-ALT-DEL keys on Lobot's cyberware?

 

Buy Lobot a drink and take him to a movie and he might show you. Bring flowers and he'll let you reboot him.

How in the world does Nien Nunb eat soup with lips like that? Ah gootah mootah mee oh-tee oh-tee?

 

He has to use a straw

If C3P0 really knows 6 million languages why doesn't he ever translate what Chewbacca is saying.

 

He should have learned 6,000,001 languages.

Why would C3PO know the odds of successfully navigating an asteroid field?

 

Because the one time he tried was the odd that failed.

Why did Leia change clothes between the time she was captured at the Bespin "dinner" and her torture?

 

Because Darth Vader & Boba Fett wanted her to dress more appropriately for the Torture Time Party.

How did Luke learn how to fight with a Lightsaber? Ob-Wan never taught him. And it seems Yoda didn't either.

 

Artoo downloaded a training app for him and charged it to C-3PO's account.

Just what animal does Blue Milk come from?

 

Smurfs.

Why does Obi-wan always cut off someone's arm in a cantina?

 

Because he was a General in the Clone "Armie" (Army).

What happened to dionoga once it left the trash compactor?

 

Blew up, sir!

What is the hyperspeed ratio of a spice-laden Millenium Falcon?

 

Is that an African or European Millennium Falcon? In any case I have no clue.

At thescene of the Jawa massacre, why does Obi Wan blame precision blaster fire on Stormtroopers when they obviously can't hit the broad side of a sandcrawler

 

Obi-Wan had been out of the loop for too long - he was harking back to the days when they were Clones under his command, not just any unemployable dingbats who wandered in off the street thinking life as a Stormtrooper had to be better than cleaning up after banthas.

Why did Sandtroopers ride dewbacks? Surely there must have been vehicles available - speeder bikes, landspeeders, AT-STs.

 

The Imperial Senate couldn't reach a budget deal, which forced the emperor to disband the council.

Why didn't the Empire blockade Hoth? It's not like the rebels could survive off the land there.

 

Because most of the Imperial army and navy, admirals down, had been so brainwashed that they believed that the Rebels were g-g-g-GHOSTS!
(And, therefore, didn't need food)

If Luke found Yoda's stew so revolting (as evidenced by the look on his face), why didn't he just eat his own rations instead of spooning more of the slop into his bowl?

 

His rations aren't imbued with gimer and Dagobah mushrooms...Yoda's stew certainly is.

What if that Tauntaun that Solo split open and stuffed Luke in wasn't really dead and was just unconscious?

 

Then Han is now guilty of brutally murdering a Tauntaun and Luke is an accessory via lending him the weapon...unless Han can also be charged with stealing Luke's lightsaber, of course!

Why didn't Luke just tell Han and Leia he was going to Dagobah in ROTJ?

 

Because, at heart, Luke is just a simple farmboy and he wanted to have a secret mission.

Palpatine saved Anakin from burning to death. Palpatine is evil. Does that mean that it is evil to save people from burning to death?

 

That's a lie! Palpatine is a saint! From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!

So, Jabba's a big slug, right? What would happen if somebody tossed some salt on him?

 

It would be the first time Salt actually helped an obese creature loose weight.

Seeing that alchahol was served to Jabba's men before Han got thrown in the Saarlac, could the Skiff guards and Boba's incompetence at fighting Luke and friends be attributed to drinking on the job.

 

Yes to everyone except Boba. Everyone was drunk, Boba didn't drink. He is merely incompetent.

If it takes 1000 years to be digested by a Sarlacc, why haven't the (possibly) hundreds of people down there figured a way to get out?

 

They got lost in the Sarlaac's miles of Intestines

When Obi Wan became one with the Force, why did Vader stomp on his empty robe?

 

There was a huge rat chasing a huge spider underneath the robe.

What did the Ewoks think 3PO was the god of?

 

Chocolate. They were waiting until later to take the gold wrapping off.

Why aren't droids allowed in the Mos Eisley Cantina?