SWC How Star Wars Could've Ended in 1 minute

Anakin: I've dreamed of being near you, touching you.
Padme: Listen Annie....Your a great friend but I've discovered things about myself.
*Padme leans over and whispers in his ear*
Anakin: Nooooooooo

 

Obi-Wan: it would be cruel to leave you like this, basically a torso in pain *kicks him gently with his foot, Anakin rolls down the bank into the lava*

 

Obi-Wan: Who is to escort Senator Amidala back to Naboo?
Yoda: Handle that your apprentice will.
Obi-Wan: I do not think that is a good idea Master. He is not ready.
Yoda: Hmm right are you. Kit Fisto we will send instead.

 

"I grow tired of asking this, so this will be the last time. Where is the Rebel base?"
"Yavin IV. They're on Yavin IV. Screw it, I have this weird inner urge to be evil all of a sudden."
"See Lord Vader? She can be reasonable. And seems oddly similar to you, might I add."

 

Bespin-Luke tries to jump away.
*Vader force pulls him back*
"You're waaay to much trouble"
*stabs luke to death with his lightsaber*

 

"We're coming in too hot!"
*Invisible Hand explodes*

 

Celebration on Naboo. Boss Nass holds a large blue exploding ball thingy above his head in triumph. As he walks to give it back to his aide JarJar trips him. They both stumble causing the ball to fall & explode on Chancellor Palpatine's head.

..& the galaxy lived happily ever after.

 

"Sith Lords, are mesa's speciality."

 

*Mace Windu is told Palpatine is the true Sith lord*
Mace (running through the Jedi temple): CMON EVERYONE! KIDS, PADAWANS, MASTERS I DON'T CARE! WE FIGHT THIS PALPATINE TOGETHER!
*Palpatine is eventually overwhelmed and is killed by the hundreds of Jedi storming his chambers*

and

Lama Su: Hmm, how unfortunate. You clearly do not possess enough funds to purchase a 'clone' army. Good day.
*walks away*

 

Qui-Gon: "My new racing pod, against the boy and his mother?"
Watto: "You have a deal outlander."

 

Actually I don't think it would have changed anything. They would still have separated Anakin from his mother.

 

"No! You can't have the boy Annie, he is my slave! I-ah can do whatever I want-ah!"
*Watto uses detonator and across Mos Espa Annie's head explodes all over Jar-Jar Binks outfit*
"How Wude!"

 

Han: You're all clear kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home!

Luke: I can't! My shooter is jammed!

 

Sidious: After viewing the pros and cons, I will not condone the creation of this 'Death Star'. Back to the drawing board Tarkin!

 

Very true, and maybe his view on the Jedi wouldn't have changed. However, would he have taken his first steps to the dark side when he slaughtered the Tuskens if she wasn't in danger?

 

[insert dirty joke here]

 

Han: That's...what...she said?

Luke: **** off!

(Yavin asplodes)

 

Tarkin: I grow tired of asking this so it will be the last time. Where is the rebel base?
Leia: Dagobah...they're on Dagobah.

[cut to Yoda in the swamp: "NNNOOOOOoooooooo"]

 

"Use the Force Luke. Let go Luke. Luke, trust me."
"Luke, you switched off your targeting computer, what's wrong?"
"Phew, sorry. Hearing voices. Don't worry, I can deal. Re-initiating targeting computer now closing in three...two..one...it's away!"
"Negative, negative. It didn't go in."
"Damn."
"I said use the Force, you little brat!"

 

[Chancellor Palpatine delivers a holographic message]
"Commander, execute Order...67"
The clone Commander looks at his fellow officer, they shrug their shoulders in confusion & just go about their business.

 

Palpatine: You will now be known as Darth........
Anakin:....
Palpatine:....
Anakin: Um.
Palpatine:.....
Anakin: You having a stroke?
Palpatine:.....(dies)

 

"With all due respect, the ambassadors for the Supreme Chancellor wish to board immediately."

"No. Your presence here is not legal and will be dealt with accordingly."

(A group of Vulture Droids promptly destroys the Radiant VII, killing everyone on board.)

 

"Commence primary ignition."
"Oh HELLS no! Not until I get that raise!"
*Imp at primary ignition station goes on strike*

 

Padme: I'm pregnant
Anakin: I'm sterile!
Padme: Yeah I know that silly. While you were away fighting I hooked up with Paulo again. Sorry Annie but he has such dreamy eyes & he's so good at guessing the names of the birds singing. You kinda suck at that. Anyway 3PO has all the divorce papers. I've gotta run. Laters!