SWC How Star Wars Could've Ended in 1 minute

91 INT BUNKER - MAIN CONTROL ROOM

Han, Leia, Chewie, and the Rebel strike team storm through a door and enter the main control room, taking all of the personnel prisoner.

HAN All right! Up! Move! Come on! Quickly! Quickly, Chewie.

The Rebel troops herd the generator controllers away from their panels. Leia glances at one of the screens on the control panel.

LEIA Han! Hurry! The fleet will be here any moment.
HAN Charges! Come on, come on!

Outside, Threepio watches nervously in the bushes as several more controllers and stormtroopers run into the bunker, leaving guards at the door.

THREEPIO (to Wicket) Oh, my! They'll be captured!

Wicket chatters in Ewok language, and then takes off full steam into the forest.

THREEPIO Wa-wait! Wait, come back! Artoo, stay with me.

Inside the bunker, Han looks up from setting charges as an Imperial commander enters.

COMMANDER Freeze! You Rebel scum.

Han and Leia spin, to find dozens of Imperial weapons trained on them and their cohorts. A poised force of Imperial troops surround them. Even more pour into the room, roughly disarming the Rebel contingent. Han, Leia, and Chewie exchange looks. They're helpless.

Furious, the Imperial commander raises his weapon and fires a blaster bolt directly into Han's skull. Then the stormtroopers open fire and kill the remaining rebels.

Sent from my SM-T580 using Tapatalk

 

*Death Star 2 Planning Room after Empire Strikes Back*

Palpatine: We need to construct a new death star, bigger and more powerful than the first.

Vader: I agree master. But where shall we construct it?

Piett: The forrest moon of Endor would be an ideal location. It's out of the way and has plenty of resources.

Palpatine: Excellent, we will build it there. First we will construct a base on Endor. I want your men to round up any indigenous life on that planet so that they will not be a problem later.

Vader: Yes my master.

*Ewoks are rounded up and placed in Imperial prisons*

 

Darth Vader orders the Tantive IV destroyed instead of boarding it.

 

Sorry I have to do this one...

While dueling Darth Vader on Bespin, Luke closes his eyes and whispers "Force" then strikes down and defeats Darth Vader.

 

After learning they kissed their siblings, Mark and Carrie storm off the set and never speak with George Lucas again.

 

"I have a bad feeling about this"
"You're right, lets go home"

BTW: The video of the thread starter is gone...

 

George Lucas is deathly allergic to facial hair and flannel and doesn't find out until it's too late.

 

Traumatized by his recent lethal action, Obi-Wan goes on one of his longer alcoholic binges as of late, during which, he leaves the body of a certain former Sith Lord next to the garage of the Lars Homestead as a prank.

Owen reports the body to the Imperial authorities, who immediately assume his guilt in the matter. He and Beru are arrested on the spot. Luke is conscripted into the Imperial Academy, and Obi-Wan never sees him again.

 

In the dining room in the Lars homestead
(Luke's eleventh birthday)
"Luke. Where are you going?"

"Looks like I'm going nowhere"

Suddenly, a large bearded man breaks into the doorway.
Owen draws his blaster. "Sir, you are breaking and entering!"

The giant says, "There you are Luke. I haven't seen you since you was a baby."

"Who are you?" asks Luke.

"My name is Rubeus Hagrid," says the huge man, "the gamekeeper at Hogwarts."

"Stop!" shouts Owen, "I forbid you to tell him anything.@

"You're a wizard, Luke," says Hagrid.

Luke goes to Hogwarts and never meets Obi Wan or his real father. Meanwhile, Obi Wan hears that Harry is the chosen one and trains him as a Jedi to defeat Vader and the Emperor.
Luke goes on to confront Voldemort while Harry destroys the Death Star.

 

Vader throws the Emperor over the railing, and down into the reactor shaft.
He collapses onto the floor next to his son, Luke.
The Imperial Royal Guards run into the chamber. They immediately kill the Skywalkers and throw their mutilated bodies down into the shaft after their Master.

 

"There's one. Set for kill."

 

Anakin and Padme, but especially Anakin, secretly, selfishly, greedily fed their attachment fear and greed with no way for the Jedi, particularly Obi Wan and Yoda, to sense it , predict it or to intervene.

Oh.

Wait.

 

Luke: "Uncle, can I transmit my application to the academy this year?"
Owen: "Sure, I'll help you, we'll do it right now."

 

The stormtroopers slaughter the Jawas before they sell Artoo and Threepio to Luke and his relatives.

 

The Emperor pulls his lightsaber out of his sleeve, and with a blood curdling scream flies across the room, stabbing Luke in the chest in under a nanosecond. Then sensing something is wrong, he and Vader take a shuttle and escape the death star before it explodes.

 

"Mr. Lucas, we really liked what you did with Star Wars, but we think we're going to have Michael Cimino direct the sequel."

 

George Lucas: So then the teddy bear creatures will defeat the stormtroopers with rocks.

Harrison Ford: Oh gawd this script is stupid, I don't know if I can take it anymore.

Mark Hamill: You got that right.

George Lucas: Oh and we'll also reveal that Leia is Luke's sister.

Mark Hamill: What? You kidding me? I made out with her in the last movie. This is really dumb, I quit.

Carrie Fisher: You're going to have me make out with my own brother? Not gonna let that happen, I quit.

Harrison Ford: Now you've gone too far. You should have killed off my character, I'm out.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

George Lucas: So Jar Jar is the key to all of this.

*entire production crew walks out shaking their head*

 

Tarkin allows Krennic to fire on Jedha using the Death Star's fully powered weapon.

 

WEDGE: Look at the size of that thing!

RED LEADER: Cut the chatter, Red Two.

RED LEADER: Accelerate to attack speed. This is it, boys!

*Death Star tractor beam engages*

WEDGE: What? I'm being pulled in!

RED LEADER: We're caught in its tractor beam!

WEDGE: I didn't know this thing had a tractor beam! Why didn't anyone tell us?!?!

LUKE: Oh ya that's right. There's a tractor beam, it pulled us in before.

RED LEADER: Oh jeez, thanks for the late info Red 5.

 

Vader (flying his TIE in the Battle of Yavin): I have you now!

Luke's X-Wing: *explodes*

 

Anakin runs over to Padme's ship as it lands on Mustafar. As soon as it opens, Padme rushes into her husband's arms. As soon as Anakin hugs her, Padme grabs his lightsaber from his belt and stabs him.
Obi Wan: "Well that makes less work for me to do."

 

Sequel:
Darth Sidious sensed Anakin is in danger and hurries to Mustafar. As soon as he lands, Padme unlocks her true force potential and mops the floor with Sidious using Anakin's lightsaber.
Obi Wan wonders why he didn't think to train her instead of Anakin. The Sith are destroyed and Luke and Leia are raised by their Jedi mother Padme. Yoda and Obi Wan restart the Jedi Order and Order 66 is cancelled.

 

Luke: Well come on red, let's go!
(The droid follows Luke and 3PO back to the Lars homestead without any malfunction)

The Chief Jawa orders the remaining droids, including R2, to return to the sandcrawler. The Jawas then follow and the sandcrawler takes off in search of more junk to scavenge.