JCC JediWarrior And Connemara Missing In Afghanistan (Update: What a ****show.)

She's an adult and she bears partial responsibility for what their children went through. Naivete makes her actions somewhat more understandable I guess, but it does not absolve her just as his delusions don't absolve him. I do think it's sexist to completely ignore her share of the blame and to assume their relationship was always abusive (the charges against Boyle are regarding his actions after his rescue). We don't know that. It's certainly easier to dislike Boyle because of all the stupid **** he's been spouting in public and to the media.

 

Anyone under the age of 25 is suffering somewhat from the impaired judgment of being young. Yes we're technically adults at 18 but in terms of cognitive capacity and judgment, we're just not quite there yet. Are they both the same age?

 

On the other hand, from what those who knew them here have said, it seems like he did abuse her naïveté from the outset.

 

I don't know, but I do know that only one of them isn't the same age.

 

Iirc, the news reports say she is 31, he's 34 or 35.

 

Can we start blaming her parents for creating such a naive person?

 

she was homeschooled. her only social interaction was probably online. we should be blaming... OURSELVES.

 

I do think it likely we are the enemy of wisdom.

 

It takes a village. I think we could home school someone together in the JCC. The result would almost certainly be a stable genius.

 

Blame is pointless. They did a spectacularly stupid thing and something horrifically bad happened. I don't see how blame will help them heal.

Okay, you made a huge mistake, even for a young person. It's over now. Now what?

This JediWarrior dude seems to think this is all a big laugh and is really enjoying his 15 minutes, so I don't expect him to learn anything or be any better. He'll probably continue to be a grandiose sociopath. We'll see about Connemara. She seems more sober. Getting away from that guy would probably help a lot.

 

My sticking point is the children. The dumb, naive, delusional adults are secondary in my mind when it comes to healing. Going there while pregnant was bad enough; making a conscious decision, as Boyle said, to have more was ****ing monstrous. The older ones are surely scarred for life given how important that period is in human development. I think blame matters when it comes to both of their fitness as parents and is a practical and moral consideration.

 

I've scarred my children for life from the comfort of my own home. Kids are I think incredibly resilient if their parents are attentive in the right way. Their parents' behavior to them and in front of them will have been more important than any other factor assuming they didn't suffer from malnutrition, etc. which is a big assumption I imagine.

 

Did everyone catch the details in the on article as to how he claims the "forced abortion" was carried out? Their captors allegedly put some kind of drug into her food. No, Josh, you're not delusional. Not one tiny bit.

 

I was actually thinking of their fitness as parents, and was going to include that as a possible exception. Decided to leave the kids out of it, though.

Even so, I'm not sure you can take the kids away for one admittedly all time stupid decision. The question from here is will they be fit to be parents going forward. Will they learn? Will the lesson hit home after such pain? Will they shelter and protect those kids so it doesn't happen again? Or will they continue to make similarly stupid and dangerous decisions? If it's the latter, then yeah maybe they don't need custody of those kids.

It's tragic, but what's done is done and cannot be undone.

Hopefully they don't need to be blamed. Hopefully, they know. Hopefully they know they've messed up badly and their kids have paid a terrible price for it. Hopefully they take that as seriously as they should. Doesn't look like JediWarrior has any appreciation for what they've gone through. Not sure about Connemara.

When someone makes a spectacularly stupid and tragic mistake, sometimes it's enough that they know, suffer and learn from it.

If it were anyone but these two, blame would be unnecessary. "Um, you shouldn't have gone backpacking in Afghanistan while you were pregnant" would be answered with, "YA THINK?!" Then again, it's hard to wrap my brain around someone being so foolish, naive and delusional as to think this was not completely crazy to begin with.

As an (admittedly bad) example, think about all the kids who have drowned in the pool in the backyard because their parents took their eyes off them. Hopefully they don't need to be told what a big mistake they made, hopefully they know. Hopefully they never take their eyes off their kids again. Drowning is a bad example, though, because usually those are accidents and don't stem from decisions as obviously terrible as this one.

 

A criminal conviction is a very technical kind of "blame" that may be distinct from other kinds. It's not clear that Mr. JediWarrior will be allowed to do any kind of parenting at all in the near future. Absent parents are of course another kind of trauma for small children. It's all just kind of messy triage for them at this point. We can hope for the best.

 

You don't know these people. The decision you speak of was taken under heavy, soul-crushing duress. I think it's misplaced to have an opinion on their virtuousness, as is casting blame.

 

It's clear she was naive and foolish, but iirc both sets of parents warned them not to go on the trip. It's not like she went on the trip without any warning that it was a dangerous thing to do. I feel like naivete as a defense goes out the window when you have people explicitly giving you information about the thing you're naive about.

 

Idk I was partly raised by y'all. I started here when I was 16, and I turned out fine.

 

Did you?

 

No

 

I think you're perfect!

Well, the best we could have hoped for, given the circumstances.

 

i was raised by migrant farmers in the fanforce community general forums

 

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