ST The ST: What Would You Change/Revise?

You lost me here, I’m afraid and I think we’re back in Wish list territory. This seems to be abandoning the thematics that make what we currently have interesting, and seems no less convoluted to me. I may just duck out of this thread. I’m probably getting in the way of a fun exercise as I mostly think RJ nailed TLJ and I’m not feeling most alternatives - which kind of goes against the point of the experiment - which does seem to be more a rewrite thread now. I like your ideas, but I can’t get past my “ah, I like what we have” mindset, so best of luck, have fun and I’ll get out of your way!

 

Yup! Good luck though and enjoy.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

I would have Rey be a Solo and was also a young student at Luke's Academy. It would be nice for Luke's academy to have a student that wasn't murdered nor fell to the darkside. Creating a connection with her already to Luke, helping to explain some of her abilities, and not making his academy a complete failure. Also the skywalker bloodline could have a positive future if Ben never becomes good again. Perhaps give us another student who survived on the side of good. The one who helped Rey escape Ben's rampage.

 

I'm going to follow the @Satipo portion of this thread, in terms of TLJ. I'm not a "hater" of TLJ, per se, but I am what you might call a "malcontent". I actually think RJ's outline isn't too bad, but I think lots of changes are in order.

MY PERSONAL LIST OF ISSUES:
1) Time scale. Having the FO conquer the Galaxy in two days is absurd.
2) No training/relationship between Rey and Luke. The film is missing that critical emotional component.
3) Not enough reason for Luke to stay on Ahch-to. "Going here to die" doesn't cut it for me.
4) No utilization of Jedi Temple. It's set dressing in TLJ, needs to change.
5) Lack of characterization and bonds of friendship. Character development for Poe, Finn, and Rey really lackluster. No mention of friendship between R2/Chewy and Luke. Rose's sister is grieved over more than Han, which is...ergh.
6) Slow-moving chase too problematic. Aside from the "fuel" thing, too many plot holes. Why doesn't the FO jump ahead and overwhelm the Raddus? Why not swarm the Raddus with Ties now that the fighter bay has been destroyed? Etc.
7) Krayt climax is underwhelming. It's a lowering of the stakes rather than raising, since Rey isn't directly involved. And the action isn't that great.
8) Holdo's kamikaze maneuver too problematic. Renders previous space battles and future space battles irrelevant.
9) Lack of development for Phasma. Wasted character.
10) Lack of grandeur/scale. I don't get the sense that any of the galaxy is involved. Just these handful of ships.
11) Inappopriate humor. YMMV on this.
12) Lack of moving the plot forward. Seriously, IX could open with the crawl mentioning that Luke and Snoke are dead, and the entirety of VIII could be skipped. Thanks to all the failure and dead ends, a good half of TLJ is wasted space.

So, my fix? (Skip the rest of this post if you don't care to read an edit.) An outline follows, with bracketed sentences being scenes remaining unaltered from TLJ.

OPENING CRAWL
After the destruction of Hosnian Prime and Starkiller Base, the FIRST ORDER and the REPUBLIC have retreated into an uneasy stalemate. Under Chancellor Holdo, the REPUBLIC has relocated to the old capital of Coruscant. The FIRST ORDER is regrouping in unknown regions of the galaxy, waiting for its chance to strike. Meanwhile, the RESISTANCE has moved its base onto the remote mineral planet of KRAYT...

ACT I
Pan down to lone skimmer, cutting red path through Krayt. It lands at base and Poe and BB-8 disembark. At this moment, Finn wakes from his coma. He is greeted enthusiastically by Poe and Rose and told he has been down for nearly half a year. He asks where Rey is and they reply they've been receiving one-way communications from her (one-way because the Resistance doesn't want to give away Luke's location). Finn sits at the communication device and starts to read the messages from the beginning...

Cut to Rey voice-over, talking about her first day on Ahch-to and how it isn't what she expected, as the last shots of her climbing the steps from TFA are on screen. She hands saber to Luke, as before. Luke brusquely cuts her off by saying she knows why she's there, and turns away from her to kneel before gravestone. Rey pleads for Luke to come aid the Resistance and he refuses, eventually walking away and telling her to leave. Rey continues voice-over, saying how she's spent several days to convince Luke to come, to no avail. [Scenes of Luke going about his hermit day from TLJ follow. R2 shows Luke Leia's old message which convinces him to train Rey, as per TLJ.] Rey voice-over continues, how she's spent several months training with Luke and how he teaches her everything about the Force and the Jedi and Sith. Shots of Luke and Rey training together, meditating together, him forcing Rey to fish and milk, which she does grudgingly, etc. This is intercut with shots of Finn eating lunch in different clothes while continuing to read the messages, showing passage of time. At the close of the messages, she's in her hut, looking out the window wistfully.
REY (voice): And if Finn's woken up by now, tell him... I think of him. And tell him I miss him.
(FINN smiles as he touches the screen of the communication device gently.)
(POE barges in)
POE: Hey, loverboy.
(FINN starts guiltily, covering up the screen in embarrassment.)
POE: Come on, time for your patrol.
(FINN nods, coughs, and quickly exits the room while POE is grinningly leering at him all the while. He walks alongside FINN as FINN is getting ready to board the skimmer.)
POE: So. Do you think you got the handle of flying?
FINN: Yeah...it's not as hard as I thought it would be.
POE: I have to say, you're an amazingly quick learner.
FINN: Well, you know. I got a great teacher.
POE (spreads his hands wide): Hey, THAT goes without saying.
(FINN laughs and nudges POE with his elbow. POE, grinning, punches FINN's arm playfully. FINN climbs the ladder to the skimmer.)
POE: Take care, buddy.

Wipe cut to blue planet with caption TAR'KALA. A very cold planet that is a trade hub (show this by full markets populated by people in thick jackets and occasional masks, a great whale creature with a giant howdah strapped to its back and filled with people coming in to dock at a harbor, etc.). A poorly-shaven human enters a bar and seeks out a female Twi'lek. They exchange obvious code words and both, with the help of a couple of other bar patrons, furtively enter a back room. They exchange information: the man tells the Twi'lek about new shipments of arms and new divisions of soldiers ready to be deployed. The Twi'lek tells him about some grave Resistance losses elsewhere and that the FO is secretly going to launch an assault on Coruscant, and that Leia must be alerted. Man wonders aloud why the FO is getting so many resources, and the Twi'lek answers that just about all the wealthy interests of the galaxy seem to be lining up behind the FO.

At this point, Phasma enters the bar, saying, "I'm here to clean out some vermin." Several patrons take out their blasters and fire, but the blasts all ricochet off her harmlessly. They then close combat and attack her with weapons, but she beats them all down without much effort, even electrocuting a man with her staff and flinging him against the wall. While this is happening, the man frantically takes out a communication device, types in it, unholsters his blaster, and fires several shots into it. Phasma enters the backroom and demands to know where Leia is. The Twi'lek attacks with a knife and Phasma breaks her neck. The man, huddled in a corner, says, "Let me spare you the trouble," and points the blaster at his head. Cut to Phasma as the reflection of the man's blaster shot is visible in her plating. She spits out, "Cowards, every last one of them." As stormtroopers file into the back room, she picks up the blasted device and asks for a salvage team.

Wow, this is getting long! I think for everyone's sanity, I'll break this up in different posts. I'll continue with other Acts later.

 

I like this! I suggested this also. Geopolitical (or should it be Spacialpolitical I wonder haha), exposition is needed. One solution could be to have the primary arm of the Empire (those that were not nutcase like the First Order splinter group), to still be in existence in the Core, on Coruscant. That they waited and yearned for a Skywalker to be their true Heir to lead them (having discovered that Luke/Leia were the offspring of Vader). Though their forces are reduced, they have some Star Destroyers (albeit with technology from the OT) and able to assist to some extent. Maybe help not coming from so called "rebel" sympathisers, but the old Imperial Remnant at the film's conclusion. At the moment, the galaxy in the ST feels so small, versus the OT and PT. And the saga doesn't tie together.

My suggestion:

Interesting idea! I like it. Assuming the story stays roughly the same right? I do hope this was George Lucas' story though and I kinda wonder when I see what people posted here about Mark Hamil. I feel like Mark might provide us with the best answer for what should go down!

But I think:

1. Humour - I loved what Luke did with that leaf on Rey's hand. Feel the Force. I would have liked to see R2-D2 also use his electric shock. Actually an R2-D2 and BB8 versus a single First Order droid with a dual shocker (like a dual lightsaber) fight scene on Coruscant should be in this film haha. I think, humour by Luke and Rey was decent. Finn, not so sure, needs to be dialled back. Leia was fantastic.

2. The Hut, I'm not sure what you mean? Do you mean the Flashback? If so, I think we needed much much much more flashback (this should have been done in Episode VII). So for starters, a rough explanation of how Luke wanted to accept an offer by the main faction of the Empire to become its heir to ensure a peaceful transition back to the ways of old, whilst maintaining whatever good the Empire had. The extreme faction of the Empire against it, as also was the corrupt Mothma led element of the Rebellion. The greediness of the new Senate, making Luke feel a need for the Jedi to be separate from galactic politics. The Skywalker heritage publically leaked to the Holonet. Ben and others finding out about Vader not from their parents or uncle, but from others. Ben feeling a need for the Jedi to do what was necessary and take on the family heritage/mantle. Luke later in the film explaining who Snoke was. I loved the mention of Sidious' rising. So mention Snoke being his real name, but who he was, he found out too late. Plageuis. Or Windu. Show us the corruption of Ben Solo, and THAT is why Luke went to confront him. Perhaps Ben lost a fellow student, a love interest, by disobeying both a Republic Order and Luke's principles of non interference, when he led an expedition (of his Knights of Ren, named after a Ren, a bird of action) to a world to fight off gangsters attempting to emulate his uncle's success against Jabba the Hutt. Have Luke not attempt to kill Ben, but Ben sees Luke and his wife Iden, attempting to kill Snoke, the only one who believed in him (having created the situation of villagers being attacked by the gangsters in the first place), and Ben jumping to his aid, then shocked as Luke is knocked out in the collapsing hut and Iden is mortally wounded. Conflicted as Anakin was at his betrayal of Windu in ROTS. Snoke too weak and mortally wounded by Skywalker and flees with Ben. Later tells Ben to purge himself of the past and arise anew as the Empire will, by not repeating its weaknesses of peacekeeping, but simply being FIRSTLY ABOUT ORDER. Luke WOKEN UP by R2-D2 and he sees his dying wife Iden Versio (to hell with the BF2 non trailer story) speak her last words to save Reyla, their daughter.

3. Both Ren and Luke showing expostion/flashbacks about the Jedi Temple being razed. Ben turning on his friends, struggling, but leading his Knights of Ren doing what has to be done. (These are the other students who believe in what he says). They offer the students in the Temple to "JOIN US, OR DIE." A friend of Ben's much younger resists, and Ben thinks he kills him, along with their leaders, by collapsing a wall on them, but one survives without his knowledge. In the process, he accidentally pulled down a column on his baby cousin (Luke's daughter) Reyla Skywalker. he becomes enraged that the Jedi made him do this and immediately starts killing them. The ruthlessness and experience of his older Knights of Ren mean that the mainly younger Jedi stand no chance. The Temple is razed to the ground. Luke arrives with R2-D2 in horror to see his Temple burning. But he feels that not all are dead. He uses the Force to extinguish the fire from rains from above. He walks in to see several Jedi younglings survived by virtue of their own skills. Firstly, a youngling called Poe who had exceptional pilot skills and flew a Jedi starfighter from the hangar into a small cavern to hide. Another Jedi female youngling (to be played by Anna Akana in TLJ, or else Rose), who always hides from view, who uses a Force bubble to obscure herself in an invisible bubble, having ran away and hid out of fear. The other boy Jedi, Ren's friend who's lightsaber skills allowed him to activate it and time his fall down the cliffs below. And Reyla, who's prowess with the Force was awoken, when she held the column above her (like Yoda in AOTC) without anyone realising. Luke uses the Force to SUPPRESS the memories of these Students and is advised by Yoda, Obi Wan ghosts to look for the secrets of the Force hidden at the First Temple, to counter this dark sider who has not been destroyed yet, Palpatine's master Plageuis, aka Snoke. Leia takes on Poe and the Anna Akana girl/Rose. The boy is sent to live with a friend on an Imperial world. But his family's ship is attacked (the First Order offer Imperial Remnant officers a chance to join them or die) and the children kidnapped. Reyla is sent to trusted Senator Lor Sella, who goes to the obscure planet of Jakku, where she grows up in the village, unaware of her heritage, save for dreams of the Temple, a vision of an island, and hearing the legend of Luke Skywalker. She is away from the village when it is burnt by the First Order and discovers BB8 on her way home.

4. Snoke, in TLJ, his reveal of who he is. Explanation of how he failed to see Palpatine turn on him, but was impressed. He retreated to the Outer Regions to further his study of conquering life, using what he discovered to prolong his own, though using the Dark Side at the expense of his physical form. He watched the Empire rise and fall. Heard of Skywalker. Or else, if he's Windu, have Windu disgusted with the Republic that betrayed the Jedi. He searches for the First Jedi texts, for the Secret of the Force vowing revenge. He finds a key, but not all of it, learning how to hide himself and prolong his life. He passionately believes now in using either Light or Dark, to do what must be done. And on the Empire's fall, believes in establishing Order first, no longer concerned with being human or kind. Either way, Seeing the Skywalkers' as a powerful bloodline to utilise. And that the Jedi could spark hope, so must be destroyed. Flashbacks of Palpatine's attack on him (whoever Snoke is). Have the IRONY of Snoke again failing to see his apprentice turn. And this time Ren is not arrogant like Palpatine who thought he killed him using Lightning. Ren snaps him in two with the Lightsaber. Have Snoke make his plan clear, total control. By force. And that the Starkiller base's weapon was created utilising a substance found on Jakku, which is why the Falcon was there, with Han and Chewie investigating for Leia.

5. Luke's attitude improved by seeing his daughter survive. Having discovered the secrets he needed to. Accepting the lightsaber and realising who Rey is. Luke being optimistic. Being alive. Luke doing the whole fight scene, but actually being there. And projecting some Force field (literally) to block Kylo's saber from penetrating his torso. Or else, Luke distracting Kylo with a projection, whilst he was secretly on the mountain of the base, activating the Rebel base's ion pulse canon, which he fires, disabling all the FO vehicles, buying time. Or else, Luke having first stopped over on Coruscant, persuading the Imperial Remnant to join the fight and be their leader. Imperial Star Destroyers arriving on scene to fight alongside Leia and others and coordinate their escape.

6. The FO Chase - have that Admiral Holdo be a traitor sharing their location. The mutiny scene was good keep it. The Bombers though, more respect paid to that pilot who sacrificed herself (Rose's sister). Perhaps have her having been a love interest so Poe feels it. Have her remembered and honoured. Alternatively have the chase scene end with the cruiser being self destructed to buy time, or act as a barrier/ shield against the ships fleeing out the side hangar. Have the Imperials roll up and the Resistance think this is it, it's over, then they see those Imperials firing on First Order ships, having responded to Leia's call, seeing her as the Heir to the Empire.

7. Canto Bright I liked. I liked the Fathers. I didn't really need to go too much into the slavery thing. Glad we saw it. But should have explained how the REPUBLIC did NOTHING. NOTHING to stop this, just as corrupt as the Old Republic. Have the chase scene a bit shorter, because it felt a bit too Harry Potter at times haha. Eliminate the need for the original cryptographer. Have the original one be the guy who betrayed them. I liked his moral lessons for Finn. Keep that. Otherwise, if Holdo is a traitor, have the cryptographer replaced with someone who knows how to crack the First Order command network to override the Supremacy's weapons to fire on the rest of it's fleet (faster ships capable of catching up with the Resistance quicker).

8. More exposition and recognition of the Jedi. Have the "Last Jedi" be plural. The Jedi younglings are rediscovered explaining their unique skills (Poe, pilot) etc. Rey realising her heritage and Ben realising who she is, she's his baby cousin. Or if really Rey is random, then Luke is alive and the main protagonist again. AND REY JOINS BEN. She goes to the dark side. Accepts her true destiny. But don't make her parents nobodies, make them someone. Certainly not drunks.

True, but I'm surprised TFA and TLJ made it "through development" instead of Lucas' scripts. Watching them is entertaining for sure. No doubt about that. And so glad Star Wars is back. BUT, not at the expense of story. Watching the whole saga, and then this, feels like you're watching something else entirely. From any point of view we look at it. See my suggestion of a plot above. But I wish we saw GL's Star Wars Sequels.

Yes I am not too keen on the saber toss. Nor on Rey beating Luke?! Unless she is his daughter. Not entirely sure on that scene with Luke drinking the blue milk. I mean maybe Luke may have gone into exile, because he missed his window of opportunity to pick up one of those power converters (i believe someone said they were a famous musical band of attractive women).

I thought the stalling was good. They could have done something that was done in "A Bridge too far" where Hux says "We are ready to discuss terms of surrender" and Poe saying that the Resistance will only accept an unconditional surrender of Hux's forces.

I think exposition of the galactic state of affairs is severely lacking. For instance, the Empire was legitimate. The First Order is not the Empire, nor legitimate. The Republic'

I like. I think Rey should be a Skywalker though since this is a main saga about the family. To have a MAIN protagonist who isn't one is slightly off putting. And having her beat Luke etc, and yes I totally see the Mary Sue dynamic. Padme, Leia, Jyn Erso, were all great female characters and role models who grew/had flaws and learned things. They weren't Superman who were invincible from day one. Even Cal El/Clark Kent learnt things. But Rey, it's hard to feel any connection. I was half expecting them to have Rey have done the Kessel Run in just 1 parsec.

Geopolitical/Spatiapolitical exposition was required as was given to us in both the OT and the PT. The ST galactic affairs situation is very messy and not clear at all. I wrote a suggestion below in my next reply to someone else. But I tried thinking along the lines of George Lucas. To be honest, I wish they would put Lucas' vision and story on the screen as the sequels. I'm sure he had a plan.

But I thought about maybe the Empire, (primarily a peacekeeping organisation and the legitimate government) would have sought it's true heir, the offspring of Lord Vader. A few warlords and a splinter group (that becomes the First Order) would have helped in the Empire's undoing. Not to mention the Alliance. But the whole New Republic thing goes awry as the corrupt/cowardly elements of the Alliance (shown in Rogue One and demonstrated in the corruption of the Senate in the PT) emerges as its leadership under Mon Mothma. Sidelines Leia, Ackbar etc as warmongers and Imperial sympathisers when the Skywalker legacy/heritage is publicly revealed.

The First Order's origin, Snoke's origin (hopefully Plageuis or Windu to tie the entire saga together) needs explanation by flashback, storytelling etc. For a RANDOM bad guy more powerful than what we have seen to just materialise makes Star Wars feel cheap and belittles all that has come before in the form of Palpatine, the great conflict between the Jedi and Sith etc. It makes the OT feel completely pointless.

Show us the corruption of the Republic, its inability or simply apathetic attitude (like the Old Republic) in tackling corruption in its richer systems (Hosnian, Canto Bight etc), crime in the outer rim (Jakku, Tatooine etc) and in isolating the Inner Core of Coruscant etc and in still mishandling the Jedi (refusing to support Luke's new order). Show the First Order rise and how it manipulates the situation (Palpatine's master does a Palpatine plan) to make it look like the First Order are the only ones capable of tackling the crime and criminals in the galaxy.

Basically the ST needs a well grounded story that LINKS this to the PT and OT. I suggested somethings below. But your post definitely sounds good. I am just sad that it seems they have ditched Lucas's scripts for a "let's make it up as we go along".

I shall simply leave these writers with "Has anyone ever told you of the Tragedy of Darth Plagues the Wise? I thought not. It's not a story that lazy planners would tell you. It's an old Star Wars legend."

It seems that they could save others from taking the easy path (just attach Star Wars name to any old story), but not themselves.

I like this! I suggested this also. Geopolitical (or should it be Spacialpolitical I wonder haha), exposition is needed. One solution could be to have the primary arm of the Empire (those that were not nutcase like the First Order splinter group), to still be in existence in the Core, on Coruscant. That they waited and yearned for a Skywalker to be their true Heir to lead them (having discovered that Luke/Leia were the offspring of Vader). Though their forces are reduced, they have some Star Destroyers (albeit with technology from the OT) and able to assist to some extent. Maybe help not coming from so called "rebel" sympathisers, but the old Imperial Remnant at the film's conclusion. At the moment, the galaxy in the ST feels so small, versus the OT and PT. And the saga doesn't tie together.

My suggestion:

Interesting idea! I like it. Assuming the story stays roughly the same right? I do hope this was George Lucas' story though and I kinda wonder when I see what people posted here about Mark Hamil. I feel like Mark might provide us with the best answer for what should go down!

But I think:

1. Humour - I loved what Luke did with that leaf on Rey's hand. Feel the Force. I would have liked to see R2-D2 also use his electric shock. Actually an R2-D2 and BB8 versus a single First Order droid with a dual shocker (like a dual lightsaber) fight scene on Coruscant should be in this film haha. I think, humour by Luke and Rey was decent. Finn, not so sure, needs to be dialled back. Leia was fantastic.

2. The Hut, I'm not sure what you mean? Do you mean the Flashback? If so, I think we needed much much much more flashback (this should have been done in Episode VII). So for starters, a rough explanation of how Luke wanted to accept an offer by the main faction of the Empire to become its heir to ensure a peaceful transition back to the ways of old, whilst maintaining whatever good the Empire had. The extreme faction of the Empire against it, as also was the corrupt Mothma led element of the Rebellion. The greediness of the new Senate, making Luke feel a need for the Jedi to be separate from galactic politics. The Skywalker heritage publically leaked to the Holonet. Ben and others finding out about Vader not from their parents or uncle, but from others. Ben feeling a need for the Jedi to do what was necessary and take on the family heritage/mantle. Luke later in the film explaining who Snoke was. I loved the mention of Sidious' rising. So mention Snoke being his real name, but who he was, he found out too late. Plageuis. Or Windu. Show us the corruption of Ben Solo, and THAT is why Luke went to confront him. Perhaps Ben lost a fellow student, a love interest, by disobeying both a Republic Order and Luke's principles of non interference, when he led an expedition (of his Knights of Ren, named after a Ren, a bird of action) to a world to fight off gangsters attempting to emulate his uncle's success against Jabba the Hutt. Have Luke not attempt to kill Ben, but Ben sees Luke and his wife Iden, attempting to kill Snoke, the only one who believed in him (having created the situation of villagers being attacked by the gangsters in the first place), and Ben jumping to his aid, then shocked as Luke is knocked out in the collapsing hut and Iden is mortally wounded. Conflicted as Anakin was at his betrayal of Windu in ROTS. Snoke too weak and mortally wounded by Skywalker and flees with Ben. Later tells Ben to purge himself of the past and arise anew as the Empire will, by not repeating its weaknesses of peacekeeping, but simply being FIRSTLY ABOUT ORDER. Luke WOKEN UP by R2-D2 and he sees his dying wife Iden Versio (to hell with the BF2 non trailer story) speak her last words to save Reyla, their daughter.

3. Both Ren and Luke showing expostion/flashbacks about the Jedi Temple being razed. Ben turning on his friends, struggling, but leading his Knights of Ren doing what has to be done. (These are the other students who believe in what he says). They offer the students in the Temple to "JOIN US, OR DIE." A friend of Ben's much younger resists, and Ben thinks he kills him, along with their leaders, by collapsing a wall on them, but one survives without his knowledge. In the process, he accidentally pulled down a column on his baby cousin (Luke's daughter) Reyla Skywalker. he becomes enraged that the Jedi made him do this and immediately starts killing them. The ruthlessness and experience of his older Knights of Ren mean that the mainly younger Jedi stand no chance. The Temple is razed to the ground. Luke arrives with R2-D2 in horror to see his Temple burning. But he feels that not all are dead. He uses the Force to extinguish the fire from rains from above. He walks in to see several Jedi younglings survived by virtue of their own skills. Firstly, a youngling called Poe who had exceptional pilot skills and flew a Jedi starfighter from the hangar into a small cavern to hide. Another Jedi female youngling (to be played by Anna Akana in TLJ, or else Rose), who always hides from view, who uses a Force bubble to obscure herself in an invisible bubble, having ran away and hid out of fear. The other boy Jedi, Ren's friend who's lightsaber skills allowed him to activate it and time his fall down the cliffs below. And Reyla, who's prowess with the Force was awoken, when she held the column above her (like Yoda in AOTC) without anyone realising. Luke uses the Force to SUPPRESS the memories of these Students and is advised by Yoda, Obi Wan ghosts to look for the secrets of the Force hidden at the First Temple, to counter this dark sider who has not been destroyed yet, Palpatine's master Plageuis, aka Snoke. Leia takes on Poe and the Anna Akana girl/Rose. The boy is sent to live with a friend on an Imperial world. But his family's ship is attacked (the First Order offer Imperial Remnant officers a chance to join them or die) and the children kidnapped. Reyla is sent to trusted Senator Lor Sella, who goes to the obscure planet of Jakku, where she grows up in the village, unaware of her heritage, save for dreams of the Temple, a vision of an island, and hearing the legend of Luke Skywalker. She is away from the village when it is burnt by the First Order and discovers BB8 on her way home.

4. Snoke, in TLJ, his reveal of who he is. Explanation of how he failed to see Palpatine turn on him, but was impressed. He retreated to the Outer Regions to further his study of conquering life, using what he discovered to prolong his own, though using the Dark Side at the expense of his physical form. He watched the Empire rise and fall. Heard of Skywalker. Or else, if he's Windu, have Windu disgusted with the Republic that betrayed the Jedi. He searches for the First Jedi texts, for the Secret of the Force vowing revenge. He finds a key, but not all of it, learning how to hide himself and prolong his life. He passionately believes now in using either Light or Dark, to do what must be done. And on the Empire's fall, believes in establishing Order first, no longer concerned with being human or kind. Either way, Seeing the Skywalkers' as a powerful bloodline to utilise. And that the Jedi could spark hope, so must be destroyed. Flashbacks of Palpatine's attack on him (whoever Snoke is). Have the IRONY of Snoke again failing to see his apprentice turn. And this time Ren is not arrogant like Palpatine who thought he killed him using Lightning. Ren snaps him in two with the Lightsaber. Have Snoke make his plan clear, total control. By force. And that the Starkiller base's weapon was created utilising a substance found on Jakku, which is why the Falcon was there, with Han and Chewie investigating for Leia.

5. Luke's attitude improved by seeing his daughter survive. Having discovered the secrets he needed to. Accepting the lightsaber and realising who Rey is. Luke being optimistic. Being alive. Luke doing the whole fight scene, but actually being there. And projecting some Force field (literally) to block Kylo's saber from penetrating his torso. Or else, Luke distracting Kylo with a projection, whilst he was secretly on the mountain of the base, activating the Rebel base's ion pulse canon, which he fires, disabling all the FO vehicles, buying time. Or else, Luke having first stopped over on Coruscant, persuading the Imperial Remnant to join the fight and be their leader. Imperial Star Destroyers arriving on scene to fight alongside Leia and others and coordinate their escape.

6. The FO Chase - have that Admiral Holdo be a traitor sharing their location. The mutiny scene was good keep it. The Bombers though, more respect paid to that pilot who sacrificed herself (Rose's sister). Perhaps have her having been a love interest so Poe feels it. Have her remembered and honoured. Alternatively have the chase scene end with the cruiser being self destructed to buy time, or act as a barrier/ shield against the ships fleeing out the side hangar. Have the Imperials roll up and the Resistance think this is it, it's over, then they see those Imperials firing on First Order ships, having responded to Leia's call, seeing her as the Heir to the Empire.

7. Canto Bright I liked. I liked the Fathers. I didn't really need to go too much into the slavery thing. Glad we saw it. But should have explained how the REPUBLIC did NOTHING. NOTHING to stop this, just as corrupt as the Old Republic. Have the chase scene a bit shorter, because it felt a bit too Harry Potter at times haha. Eliminate the need for the original cryptographer. Have the original one be the guy who betrayed them. I liked his moral lessons for Finn. Keep that. Otherwise, if Holdo is a traitor, have the cryptographer replaced with someone who knows how to crack the First Order command network to override the Supremacy's weapons to fire on the rest of it's fleet (faster ships capable of catching up with the Resistance quicker).

8. More exposition and recognition of the Jedi. Have the "Last Jedi" be plural. The Jedi younglings are rediscovered explaining their unique skills (Poe, pilot) etc. Rey realising her heritage and Ben realising who she is, she's his baby cousin. Or if really Rey is random, then Luke is alive and the main protagonist again. AND REY JOINS BEN. She goes to the dark side. Accepts her true destiny. But don't make her parents nobodies, make them someone. Certainly not drunks.

True, but I'm surprised TFA and TLJ made it "through development" instead of Lucas' scripts. Watching them is entertaining for sure. No doubt about that. And so glad Star Wars is back. BUT, not at the expense of story. Watching the whole saga, and then this, feels like you're watching something else entirely. From any point of view we look at it. See my suggestion of a plot above. But I wish we saw GL's Star Wars Sequels.

Yes I am not too keen on the saber toss. Nor on Rey beating Luke?! Unless she is his daughter. Not entirely sure on that scene with Luke drinking the blue milk. I mean maybe Luke may have gone into exile, because he missed his window of opportunity to pick up one of those power converters (i believe someone said they were a famous musical band of attractive women).

I thought the stalling was good. They could have done something that was done in "A Bridge too far" where Hux says "We are ready to discuss terms of surrender" and Poe saying that the Resistance will only accept an unconditional surrender of Hux's forces.

I think exposition of the galactic state of affairs is severely lacking. For instance, the Empire was legitimate. The First Order is not the Empire, nor legitimate. The Republic's legitimacy is in question, since we are shown nothing on the movie screen in TFA or TLJ to showcase where the Empire is, or what the New Republic was.

YES YES YES YES YES. Precisely. Use George Lucas' outlines and use him to write the entire story. Simply direct and adjust individual lines if you have to. This would solve everything. I can see from what MarkHamil says, this isn't his Star Wars.

TFA and TLJ needed to be better. Failed they have. Learn from these they should. Still not too late it is. Mind what you have learned, save you it can!

I just feel like now they are two thirds of the way in, and they forgot what they were meant to be doing. "Help us George. You're our only hope!"

Someone like George Lucas.

Episode IX - THE RETURN OF THE FOUNDER

With the galaxy in turmoil, galactic citizens from all corners of the galaxy have sent droids R2-D2 and BB-8 to a galaxy far far away in search of the writer of the franchise to return and bring sense back to the story.

Unknown to the dynamic duo, members of the First Order and Resistance, led by Rey Mary Sue, lead a fleet to pursue them, knowing that any reversion back to common sense and story telling would spell their certain doom.

Meanwhile, the new director has secretly created a second STARKILLER BASE, this time with enough power to blow up an entire galaxy. With a return to telling the story of the Star Wars saga, unlikely at this point, and maybe too late, the galaxy's only hope lies with two droids, making their way ACROSS THE STARS. Only once they find the CREATOR and his script can our two droids correct for the mistakes of the previous instalments.

The galaxy is still in turmoil with no idea who is in charge, or what the rules of the galaxy are any more. Citizens wait with baited breath, resting their hopes on two droids, the only chance to restore freedom to the galaxy...

_____

Honestly I just think they have made great entertaining films, but forgot that this is ONE BIG SAGA. George Lucas' surely didn't write this??


If I may suggest a potential story liking with what was hinted at in the BF trailer, but never given to us either.

Honestly, I LOVED the trailer. This was the George Lucas story I had been looking for to bridge the gap between Episode VI and Episode VII. The trailer seemed to hint at a principled Empire of peacekeepers. And loyal and skilful Iden being at the heart of the story. An Imperial "Point of View" to paraphrase Obi Wan.


See I'm not sure people would have minded (in fact it would appear actually a lot of people wanted to play as the Imperial, versus the Rebel. Reminds me of the old Battlefront where I might mix it up with Republic or CIS, but I would ALWAYS crush the Rebel scum despite the incompetence of my fellow Stormtroopers' aim).


A route they could have gone down would have been instead to have had Iden as loyal to the Empire. I think after the Admiral tells her "The Emperor is dead.", something like "And Lord Vader?" would have been nice also. I almost feel like the story is superb up to Operation Cinder haha. See one way they could have spun this would be something like showing a main "Core" of the Empire/Imperials being peacekeepers and wanting to maintain order. They could be searching for the Heir to the Empire (to Lord Vader, the Skywalkers). Commanding most of the Fleet, but in need of coordination. Separate factions such as scheming warlords (such as Sloane etc) could have featured. And another extreme wing that would eventually hide and become the First Order.


Operation Cinder could have been a conspiracy plan set up by Sloane/First Order faction to divide the Empire. Iden Versio rebelling against those orders, but remaining loyal to the main Empire would have been a nice touch. I had looked forward to seeing her encounter Luke (as hinted in the trailer) too. Not to mention, her being Luke's spouse might have been interesting.


Yes Naboo as the main target, or else Operation Cinder being a fallback for failure to hold the symbolically important (it was the Emperor's homeworld) planet, would have been more interesting. I personally didn't need to see a pure defection. In a way I liked what Luke said. He almost seemed to tell Del that the Rebellion was NOT the way. Only that the Empire had to be different. Could have shown what Rogue One showed that the "Alliance" was not all it was hyped up to be. But a coalition of competing/selfish interests with its own corruption much like the Republic of old.


Showing Mon Mothma sidelining Leia and the others, possibly this rumoured public announcement on the Holonet of Vader being Luke and Leia's father, would have been golden.


Yes I think the problem is the "story" get distracted from being about Iden and the Empire, to just skipping a lot of history and reverting to planets from the sequels. I feel like the trailer is the game we wanted, and I'm surprised they did this, unless they changed it last minute?


Iden could easily have been part of the Imperials who didn't believe Operation Cinder was right, since it was not about protecting Imperial citizens. In fact, surely at this point, the Rebels might have some additional backing with the Emperor's death, but the Empire has thousands upon thousands of starships, millions of troopers. How on earth could it fall so easily? So the route of an Empire having to fight what would become the First Order as well as a corrupt Rebellion (itself divided between political opportunists (Mothma, Senators etc) and heroes such as Akbar, Leia etc) would have given us the exposition we needed. This all could have been shown to be manipulated by Palpatine's old master (Plageuis or now known as Snoke) who somehow survived (having dropped his Darth title failing to see his apprentice's turn on him).


I actually thought during that whole Hask saying Iden had committed high treason, it would have been cool to see Iden saying (as well as "I am your commander, stand down!"), "YOU are committing treason!" and an actual Imperial civil war of stormtroopers following her orders believing the plan (Operation Cinder) to be madness.


Alternative universe, Vader would have handed official power to Luke and Inferno Squad would be his Imperial Guard, putting down an attempted coup by extremists.


I also feel that it would have felt more "Star Wars" (as envisioned and told by its creator George Lucas) to have gone with the trailer's story. I'm not sure about Cinder as a whole, but an honest Empire in search of its true heir. A corrupt Republic/elements of the cowards you see in Rogue One on the Rebel's Council led by Mothma, overturning the principled Leia and Ackbar etc. And an extreme wing that would become the First Order trying to have everyone destroy each other to seize control.

I loved that whole scene in the trailer with (Iden?) Inferno Squad hunting down Luke. I do believe though that the point was that the Empire was good (the marketing etc suggested we would finally see this all from the Imperial citizen's perspective). I didn't think we would quickly see that turn. The actress who played Iden seemed like she was super into Star Wars. Wish she was in some films!

I do believe though that the First Order does not equal the Empire. The Empire had a few nutcase, but ultimately was the legitimate government and peacekeeping. The First Order has made the whole Star Wars galaxy too pure good versus pure evil.

Maybe Cinder was a Rebel trap all along. They cracked an Imperial code and dispatched false orders to key Imperial fleets to initiate a crazy plan. That would alienate the Imperial Navy and Stormtroopers from their loyal citizens who didn't support the Rebellion. Don't underestimate Mothma, who it seems isolated Leia and became essentially a dictator in all but name, destroying what the Alliance was supposed to be about. Mothma truly restored the corruption of the OLD Republic. She was never interested in creating a new one, that would be the best of both the Republic and the Empire. Maybe Mothma also leaked that Vader was Luke and Leia's father to prevent Leia from becoming the Chancellor and Luke's Jedi Order from having more widespread support amongst the Alliance. Though maybe the genuine Empire (not the extremist First Order), would have sought out Luke to lead them as their true heir.

As for the allies not coming to Leia's aid, maybe because whilst they respect Leia, they don't support the Republic. It didn't bring about the order needed to fight the criminals and the corrupt. It didn't stop the First Order. And thanks to Mothma, they are defenceless, and dispatching whatever little help they could muster, would mean a defenceless homeworld.

Perhaps the Imperial Remnant might come to help Leia and Luke and were en route. Or else, they had been disbanded by Mothma, and the remainder either executed or forcibly recruited by the First Order who believed in doing away with the Old Empire also.

Many Bothans died, to bring us this information.

 

Sorry, mistakenly hit post again?!

 

I think your post is longer than The Last Jedi script

 

Hahaha I know. I was trying to avoid double posting, yet somehow accidentally clicked again anyhow.

Reason it's long is simply because it's multiple replies. Honestly I found TFA and TLJ entertaining. I just feel that we needed Lucas' scripts and tie in to make this one epic saga. With the PT and OT, they form one big saga. These ST films though feel like separate films.

I know it's long, but trust me. Have a read, and hope you like some of what I've suggested.

 

The Last Jedi -
When Rey decides to leave Luke to go to Klyo Ren Artoo insists on staying back with him. Rey and Kylo actually fight in front of Snoke. Rey defeats Kylo with a crushing blow leaving him near death. Snoke has a medical team take Kylo away. He imprisons Rey somewhere in his throne room. Luke feels a strong disturbance in the force. Yoda appears and tells him he must go to to help. Luke takes his advice and uses the force to raise his X-wing. Artoo hops in and red five is back on his way to the fight. Snoke makes it easy for Luke to find his way to the the throne room (much like Empire i know). Luke uses his great power to hold off Snoke while he releases Rey and tells her she must leave to go help Leia. She reluctantly listens and leaves for Lukes X-Wing. Now, knowing he is no match for luke snoke says "i have a suprise for you Skywalker". A door slides open and out comes Vader. Luke cant believe what he is seeing. Vader pulls out his lightsaber and ignites it. It is Kylo's light saber. Vader then says to Luke "The power of the Dark side is flowing through me uncle" or something like that. Luke battles Vader and Snoke at the same time eventually killing Snoke leaving just Kylo Vader to deal with. Some witty dialog goes on between them with Luke eventually raising his sword up in Obi-Wan like fashion allowing Kylo to strike him down so he can be one with the force to help Rey..

i know its more of the Same but I dont care. i would have been a good way to bring Vader back into the mix. He could have looked like an upgraded version. To me this is still the Skywalker Saga. History always finds a way to repeat itself. I also think i would have been a nice touch to have Madelorians guarding Snoke instead of those red guards.

 

But exposition needed in both TFA and TLJ as to what happened after ROTJ. And who the villains are in the ST. A sense of galactic affairs, the status of the Jedi.

Agreed on Skywalker Saga, which is why a main protagonist like Rey should be a Skywalker. Otherwise this isn't a saga film anymore. I thought the original concept was for Ren to be emulating Vader. No idea what the story arc is anymore.

As for TFA, I heard that the novel mentioned Ren saying to Rey, "It is you.." and that in George Lucas' original ST vision, we were given more exposition, more Luke and a story about Vader's grandchildren.

As for guards, well they can be droids if you want. But Snoke himself, needs explaining. Can't have a random baddie just turning up which belittles the power and unique nature of Palpatine/Yoda etc. The Plageuis/Windu idea would have worked wonders. This should be one wholesome 9 film saga.

 

I’d combine Crait and Canto Bight. The Resistance go there to meet up with some allies but end up betrayed, Battle of Crait is an actual battle where they not only defend the Resistance but the whole city. People actually witness Luke’s sacrifice. Finn and Rose are not a pointless side mission. Show some civilization. Perfect.

 

So when Luke simply evaporates, what's to prevent the FO from rolling over the whole city? I guess the plot would have to change a bit.

 

Maybe we actually see civilians fighting the FO?

 

Impressive. You managed to give Snoke the humiliation he deserves and it doesn't make him feel like a total joke (maybe it's because we gradually learn who Snoke really is as a character as his invincibility was slowly peeling away). It also made Kylo Ren a lot more threatening in the process, which is essential for the new Supreme Leader.

 

Not sure, maybe the city is revealed to have been FO sympathizers this whole time. Luke’s sacrifice could make them change their minds.

 

I have had similar thoughts. Canto Bight could be a neutral system due to the arms dealing so the Resistance goes there knowing that despite being tracked the FO can't touch them. But Snoke or Hux gets around that and stages a false flag attack through Phasma and starts landing troops with the Resistance and the FO taking part in urban warfare.

 

I've got a question for people that, while I would like to make a thread dedicated to it, is close enough to this topic that said thread would likely get merged in here anyway. So:

Focusing on one general plotline, what scenes would you have liked to have seen in the Luke training Rey plot? (lets assume that the movie actually was going to be about Luke training Rey)

Some suggestions:
- Rey building her own lightsaber
- Rey sparring lightsabers with Luke on at least two different occasions
- Rey practicing moving objects on at least two different occasions

 

Probably #3. I think #2 is a little too kinetic for an aged Luke, and in addition to #3, I would add some meditation scenes, possibly mixed in with body control. For example, a scene where Rey's eyes are closed and her palms pressed together in meditation, but while balancing on one foot on a cairn.

 

Actually the sensible way to get just a few lines of exposition dialogue explaining Snoke's origins or power would have been to have Luke tell Rey as she was "training". Speaking while there is action on screen. Doesn't slow the film down but you could combine the dramatic beats of the exposition with the actions of whatever Rey is doing.